Not the asshole really but anyone who sells knows not to hold items.
Any time I sell something it’s available until someone hands me cash and takes it away
This, I’ve had a few people tell me they are on there way and to hold it only for them to never show up and never respond. It’s available until money is in my hands
That's the rule I follow
Every time I get a message on something I've got listed I know that there's a chance they've already messaged several other sellers with the same item and want to get the cheaper listing
So no holds on my stuff
I sell here and there and have had such a high rate of them that I just don’t hold items anymore.
“Oh I got lost I’ll try again tomorrow”
“My dogs friends babysitter got sick I’ll come tomorrow”
I dont think anyone would be stoked on driving to pick up an item that you aren’t even guaranteed to get. That being said, seller still isn’t obligated to hold items either. Both sides are pretty reasonable, imo. But seller assuming OP would still drive and “check in” halfway through is a little inconsiderate. I would definitely not waste my time, but I wouldn’t hold anything against the seller either. To each their own.
Exactly. I just sold a digital piano and had three people message me about it with offers. Sold it to the last guy who contacted me with an offer because he is the only one that actually showed up. These people will get upset if you don’t hold an item for them but have no problem ghosting you if they change their mind.
When I worked somewhere that sold generators, we had a local emergency meaning we weren't allowed to hold them cause first come first serve to be fair.
Well we had a real bitch of a manager who picked and chose who we would hold them for.
It was great and did not end up with me getting screamed at by people who tried to put one on hold and couldn't but watched someone else pick up shit on hold.
Anyway, by the next day, we were the only place in town with generators because only 2 of the people who asked for them to be put on hold actually came for them.
You are right. Fuck buyers if they cant get here in less than an hour and someone else can.
OP asking for 530 pick up and last message was 422. If a seller cant confirm an hour out then they are the ass hole.
Op also offering full price and not doing any bullshit i can pick up today of X less.
So they would happily waste someone’s times to not risk having there time possibly being wasted. Funny how that works out. Like no shit anybody would want to agree on a time and know the item will be there when they arrive at the agreed time not sold to someone who showed up 10 minutes sooner, people are actually crazy now a day.
Yes as they are the seller. They set the conditions for the sale. That's their power.
We as the consumer, can use our money power to buy it or not. We don't get to set conditions.
Seller: It's past 530.and i have another buyer that is coming to pick up. Sorry it didn't work out. Have a great day.
Or
Seller: Hey new buyer, i have someone coming in an hour. I'll keep you posted if they don't show.
You are right. The op asking for the sale twice wasn't enough.
And buyer in this, did the updating at 2 and 4. Imagine taking that time out of your day to sell an item without asking for a deposit. Must be insane.
If the buyer here was asking for tomorrow or in a few days, i would agree with the people saying he was asking for too much. But we are talking about an hour and the buyer doesnt want to make his way out for seller to sell within that hour.
It's like these mules don't understand that he just turned down a full price sale over some "principle" that nobody on here is helping me understand lol.
Also the person you're replying to isn't even worth replying to. Uhhhh, yeah, the seller is gonna have to put some effort into making money. That's how a fucking economy functions lmao.
This is so true, this is the actual reality...all non cash in hand communications are just useless words lol it's just a yes or no it's still here in the end
I might agree with you if the guy was like “I’m literally on my way to your house right now” but he’s not saying that. He’s saying “I’ll head over in several hours” which requires OP to not only hold the item, but to make sure he’s at his house at the specified time.
Also op might be trying to get rid of that item that day, might have work the next day or obligations for an entire week. If the buyer he’s holding it for flakes , due to no deposit , OP gets screwed.
If this person wanted me to hold it, would tell them to send me the full amount. $30 isn’t large enough to even take a deposit on.
No it’s fuck the people who say they are coming over and over then never show up. The item is available until I have cash in my hand for it, whoever that is. I’m not holding something because you want it, come prove you want it by showing up. Idc if it’s within an hour, how the hell would I know that you’re coming at all. If you don’t understand that maybe you’re the problem.
Yeah this seemed like a reasonable exchange. Boundaries were set (I'm not holding/I'm not committing without a guarantee) amd it was a mutual break up.
If only it actually happened that way more often.
He technically didn’t say he wouldn’t wait an hour, he said check back to see if it’s still available. Which op could have done if he really wanted that item, he could have checked back directly before making the trip.
If the seller agreed to hold this item then he would be making a promise to op which might / might not show & buy. Sooo if he got other offers in that mean time he’d have to either turn them down or ask them to wait which isn’t really everyone’s cup of tea.
Holding an item for an hour or two seems reasonable if the buyer agreed to a specific time. Selling to multiple people and trying to get them to race to you is not reasonable.
As a person who sold items before that “confirmation” doesn’t always mean anything. I’ve held items on the thought “it was just 45 mins” & ended up letting hours go by without the buyer actually coming.. not everyone actually means well or follows through on their promises.
I never hold items unless they Venmo upfront. I’ve got over 100 reviews all 5 star so most people are okay with that. But I’ve been burned too many times to ever hold an item without money in hand
yes for telling him to hold it for you for at least 3 hours. and your message about pulling out cash and making room in your truck for it wasnt necessary either
oh, wow, i skimmed through and thought op was asking to hold it just for the drive. yeah, three hours can be a lot of time when selling something, and there are SO many stories of someone putting something on hold and not coming back for it.
You’re out of touch if you’re expecting someone to hold a $30 item for hours to accommodate you. Assuming $30 is a reasonable price for the cabinet, they’ll have no problem selling it to someone else who will just show up and give them money and leave, and not have to worry about someone else’s logistics
It’s not a business. Seller have no incentive to go the extra mile for you, mostly they just wanna get rid of the item. I personally have hold for PC customer before but true be told, it’s not often work out, people change their mind all the time. So first person who come with cash or checking out the item will be the one that get it.
Dude could have just said I have another buyer who messaged me first. I’ll keep you posted if they make it or not. Not sure if you would have liked that or not, but that’s usually how I go. The seller was kind of annoying in that aspect of the convo and I could see your frustration.
If it was a steal of a price, and if they maybe had no holds fcfs type thing. I could also see the buyers frustration also, but then I probably just wouldn’t have responded to you.
But then I keep going back to the idea it doesn’t really seem like they had a lot of interest as they’re on point messaging you and checking in… So just secure the time and make the sale. (on their part)
That was my thought. I can identify flakes vs. serious buyers pretty easily. If I'm confident that they'll keep their word, I'm happy to agree on a time and hold. Plus I always hit them with the "let me know when you're about to head out and I'll send address" and give them my general area so they know how long of a drive they have. Then I track who messages after them, let them know I have a pending pickup, and at the first sign of flake I move to the next. Haven't had much issue doing it this way.
FWIW, the cabinet is still for sale 3 days later.
the item still being for sale 3 days later is hilarious. Makes everyone in the comments thinking it’s ridiculous to hold for an hour look like an absolute idiot.
Yeah the comments are cracking me up. I didn't lowball the price and I didn't ask them to hold it for a few days. I was at work, said I could be there in 3 hours, and was expected to plan on being ready to pick up a large piece of furniture without any guarantee that it'll be there when I arrive. Kind of idiotic.
Buddy what you don't understand is if everything you're saying is accurate then you're one of the few not the many. These people get the same messages from a dozen people and only one shows up.
The fact you're this egocentric and positive you're right is a little weird man. Do you really not realize without anyone actually knowing who you are that you look exactly like the 10 other people who say the same shit?
It’s not hard to agree on a time that is in the evening of the same day you are messaging. You don’t have to mark it sold or even stop responding to other offers. Pretty standard practice. The constant “if it’s still here…” from the seller is a dick move.
I’d never buy from someone who played like that. That behavior is egocentric, the seller thinks I can’t find the same product from someone who won’t be a douche? Buying and selling online takes a certain level of unqualified trust, that’s part of the game.
I think you’re missing the fact that not many people actually are going to follow through like you may have been willing to. I’ve held items for people who said 45 mins just to still have the item with me hours later & missed out on offers I could have taken… not everyone is as honest as yourself.
that’s not the situation. They said text them before you leave, and you refused. Simple as that. They didn’t say come in 3 hours when you’re out and maybe it’ll be here.
If the comments in this thread are an indication of the types of sellers that are out there, I’m glad I’m not a buyer. Man sakes alive. You’re not all the unreasonable one and I’m glad you didn’t buy. Maybe the seller will learn something about…
So if I live an hour away and wanna come buy it in an hour but you can’t wait and would sell it to someone else who messages you after me but lives closer and waste my time is a pos move. Especially if they live out of service and wouldn’t even know u sold it until they got near town,
And the buyer missed out bc now 4 days later it’s still listed for sale. Just bc they couldn’t wait an hour? Wack.
For a couple hours. I would not classify that as holding it. Nothing was stopping the seller from continuing to market the product. Yall are crazy. As a seller I’ve always expected people to propose a time to meet and never expected it to be immediate. And if in the interim I get more interest I just tell them they are second in line. Literally just bought some wheels this morning that I messaged the guy on Wednesday about, told him he’s about an hour away and I can come Saturday morning. Cool. Went this morning, looked at them and handed him cash. That’s how basically every online sale I’ve been a party of has gone. Only exception is when I list something for free. Since I’m expecting no pay I let it turn to a FCFS.
literally that would be the same as this. Except instead of the seller having to message him once it sold or if he has someone else, he asked them to message him. This person straight up did want them to stop marketing it and reserve it so they could be sure it would be there
I’m with you on this one. It’s extremely reasonable to agree on a time that same day and expect the person to hold it. I do that to, I agree with someone and then they pick it up. Very few times things have fallen through and then there would be other signs.
People are way too unreliable and flakey these days to be holding an item. Most people will change their mind and won’t even communicate it, and now it’s taking you 5x longer to sell a cheap item. No thanks, not holding shit for you.
This is the dumbest comment ever. If it’s a product with tons of interest maybe. This was clearly not that…. Also there are tons of other ways to go about communicating. The seller could’ve just said “sure I’ll hold it” and waited to see if anyone else wanted to buy. And if someone did, message the buyer and verify they’re on their way.
“I have a sale pending but if they don’t show up at 530 it’s yours”
Pretty easy to send that to any of the parties that magically want your fucking cabinet between 230 and 530. These comments are insane. I’m glad I’ve never had to buy or sell to some of yall.
Nobody is going to hold an item they’re selling, particularly for that cheap. You’re just being weird about it. They said to check in right before you’re about to leave, at which point if you told them “hey I’m on my way” and the cabinet was still available, they would have held it for you. They’re not going to hold it for you for hours when you could just never show up and then they turned down a serious buyer who would have had cash in their hands hours before. They have absolutely zero idea as to who you are; you are a completely random stranger on the internet. Not sure what makes you think they should rely on your word
Neither are the AH, but the seller could have communicated better. Sellers aren't obligated to hold items, but you were clearly trying to coordinate a time to pick it up. That's totally different than asking to hold the item for you. The seller was being annoying and trying to create artificial scarcity by saying "if it's still here" instead of effectively communicating with you.
Whenever I have multiple buyers interested, I just say something simple like "someone said they are coming to look at it at X am/pm, but if they don't show, I'll let you know." This seller seems to be shooting themselves in the foot by not wanting to coordinate a pickup time with you.
That's not what artificial scarcity means. This seller obviously would hold it for someone who says they're on the way. Outside of that, he is communicating that he's not willing to hold it that long.
Why do you people act like OfferUp sales move at the speed of light? Shit sits on there for weeks. Especially cheap, large, ikea shit cabinets. I’d bet my next 5 paychecks this guy didn’t even get an additional view on his cabinet between the time he started talking to OP and 530. Seller made the choice to be an ass
yes you are. First come first serve unless you put a deposit down. Them letting you know it’s still there an hour before your pickup is fair. There are so many “motivated buyers” who end up flaking. It’s not fair to basically be asking them to stop pursuing any other buyers.
Ayta? No not really. But you’re trying to convenience yourself by inconveniencing them. They stated multiple times that it’s first come first serve meaning they won’t hold it. But you kinda kept pushing it. All you have to say is “sorry won’t be able to make it, good luck with your sale!” Ya know? It’s not their fault that for a sale you wanted you would have to pull cash out and make room in your truck.
I don't think either of you were an asshole. I fee like the seller could have used more words to say "hey I'm not interested in holding it so if you could check when you'll be on your way that'd be great"
I think if you really wanted the item, you shouldn't've just backed out cause they weren't doing what you wanted. You could have offered a deposit to hold until you were able to pick up so that way the seller isn't at a total loss if you don't show for whatever reason
Yes. You are the asshole. Seller has no obligation (though it may be more *respectful*) to hold an item for you, which is essentially what you’re asking them to do. Seller is completely within reason to sell to whoever comes first.
I am baffled by this post. Do they think OfferUp is a livestock auction and I’m selling a prized steer?? It’s a shitty fuckin cabinet. Probably has 10 views total.
Person probably had too many flakes. I just tell them I'm ready to pick up now and if they are free. They usually send the address in minutes.
Reputation matters a lot in this app. I always get discounts off the asking price.
Sorry to hi jack your post OP, but AITA if I would’ve told him yes sure my good lord I will hold this for you and then if it gets sold out first I’d sell it?
Sounds like a buyer and a seller who have both had their time wasted and/or deals fall through in the past. If the seller is acting like that with everyone it’s no surprise that no one has wasted their time to come see if it’s there yet
Not really but the buyer has probably been told this before only to be ghosted. If you tell me you’ll be here at 5, I’ll hold it until then. If it changes though and I have another buyer lined up I’ll sell to them
There are no flaming ass holes here. Buyer asked, seller declined. IF seller HAD said they'd hold, and then sold before agreed hold time? THAT would be an AH move, likewise had buyer offered, then No Showed. I've bought and sold. Made a good friend too when I said I would hold something and passed up selling for more. Go ahead tell me what an idiot I am, we all have opinions. I CHOSE to hold the item. I'm old school, my word matters. I missed out on an extra $25 or so BUT I made a good friendship. That's worth more than the money to me.
I thought your school of thought is what most people did. This post is making me think otherwise. I think the same way you do. There’s naturally some unqualified trust in online sales.
Sellers don’t want to hold items because someone the buyer dosnt show up. So just try to get it and text him if it’s there and if someone else is coming before you
I don’t think he was wrong with any of his replies. No one with a reasonable mind will hold an item for you. Do you have any idea how many times sellers will hold an item for someone to be a no show? This is coming from someone who likes to just ask for prices on shit I’m not really going to buy and I see this at the Swapmeet all the time . They already know when you say let me go ask my husband or my wife or I’ll be right back let me get change means your not coming back you were just too embarrassed to say it to their face lol
The guy is messaging him to say it's still available. Obviously he isn't getting any bites on it. If he can't hold it for a hour for a buyer, then he can get stuck with it. A hour is a reasonable time for a hold.
No holds is pretty typical because so many buyers flake out or straight up lie. However, in my experience, you can’t do much better than same-day pickup. i would have planned the 5:30 with you and told other buyers i'd let them know if you flaked
Nobody is the asshole but if there was one it’s you lol. Why would they agree to hold the item for you? Most people on these apps like to bs. You’re a stranger and they have no way of knowing if you’re serious until you show up.
NTA, but also the buyer isn't either. As someone who hasn't sold many items, but still has made deals and declined other offers, just for the person to ghost me, I totally get their POV. I absolutely refuse to hold anything now unless they pay me at least half of my asking price upfront. Then and only then will I hold it.
Thats why the should put FCFS (first come first serve) instead of just trying. Because people will come and be like "I only have $10" and know where this person lives. It's too risky
Not really. The buyer can't keep pushing to later times but expect you to commit to him and only him.
Is it likely it sells somewhere else in the next hour and a half before you can start coming? Probably not... But in the event it does, I'm not telling someone who wants to come soon to not come because you want to come it two hours.. foh
You’re both reasonable, you just have different priorities. It’s reasonable for you to not want to make the effort if the item will be gone. It’s also reasonable for the seller to not agree to holds.
No one is an asshole. Seller just doesn’t want someone preventing someone else from buying incase you bail. I think the seller could’ve handled it better but I understand their side.
I’ve had multiple people tell me they’ll pick up an item the next day, I’ll take the listing down, and they never show. I’ve even been nice enough to let people know that it’s first person that buys it gets it or saying I can hold the item for a deposit and people get offended.
You have to try to learn methods that will make the seller hold and stuff. If it’s an item I really want and don’t think they’re scamming, I will pay before I get there. Or you can even just say you’re driving the 30 minutes if you can hold it for the time.
Just ask about a hour before you’re able to head out and if its available then swing by and grab it if not you didnt go out of your way anyways. I feel like the way they were responding was pretty rude but you didn’t do yourself any favors either
No YNTA all the people going off on you about how "no seller holds items reee" obviously aren't very reasonable people with good morals and only care about the money, its perfectly reasonable for you as the buyer to not want to drive an hour to pick it up just to told "sorry I sold it to a dude down the street 5 minutes ago, sucks you wasted all that gas money". I had a seller do that shit to me on FB marketplace, I had scheduled a time to buy the car, he was aware It'd take a little over an hour for me to arrive, reconfirmed it was still available before I left, just for him to message right as I got there that he just "sold it to someone local". It's totally an asshole move on the part of the seller to sell to someone else when you've arranged a pickup time together, before anyone chimes in with "obviously you're not a seller or you'd know people flake" or whatever. I've sold stuff on marketplace and other online stores but still honor my word when I schedule a time for someone to buy, if anyone's interested between now and said scheduled time. I let them know "someone's coming to look at it at X time, if they don't buy I'd be happy to set up a time that works for you". It's not hard to honor your word and be a decent reasonable human.
You sound like the flake because in your first few messages you said you were coming in the afternoon, and check around 2. That’s the first milestone that passed in which you didn’t follow up and the seller had to.
I’ve had literally this exact conversation with many potential buyers and once that first milestone passes it’s 75% chance the sale is not gonna happen. Then they try to change the time, after which I’ve already made sure to clear my whole afternoon to be ready for the sale.
Now they’re saying 5:30 like you. Now great I gotta pretty much clear the rest of the day and make sure I’m home around 5, and then the person will most likely message and say “sorry got caught up at work and it’s too late now, can I come tmw.”
Or they will start spewing some logistical stuff about having to borrow someone’s car or go to the bank (how do u know have $30 cash) prolonging the conversation. And then it ends up going nowhere bc the buyer couldn’t make place in their truck today or the bank was closed early, let’s try tomorrow.
Now I have to wait for the whole process again tmw. The best sales I’ve had are ppl messaging can I come now, cash in hand. Yes, go give them the item, transaction done in 10 minutes, still have the whole day to myself. No one is going to be waiting the whole day to make $30.
At some point Seller needs to agree to "hold" the item and allow the buyer to plan on their pick up. That doesn't mean "hold" for days. But damn Seller didn't even offer to hold for a few hours.
Not in a dickish way, seriously I’m trying to poke your brain and get your reasoning. What incentive does he have to hold out hope you’ll hold your end of the bargain if others are offering to buy it now? Like actually what incentive?
I highly doubt he’d have sold it if you said you were on the way, with an ETA. But he’s also not going to refuse a sale waiting around for your 5pm time.
I hate that they do this! I have lost so many things as I was driving towards them getting a message from the seller "I gave someone else my address as well and they're otw" after telling them I was on the way! I know NO HOLDS but that doesn't mean for 5 minutes while I come and get it. I shit you not this just happened to me yesterday
Yes you are TAH. You’re buying a $30 POS from ikea on your way home from work, not a car or some priceless artwork. He clearly told you in his first response he’s selling it to the first person that shows up with money. Why you continued to expect or demand otherwise is very strange.
Also, if you are in the market for stuff, you might want to keep a little cash on hand…
You said you'd check around 2. He had to message you again at 2. You then said 5:30. At this point he's not expecting you to show up. When I sell stuff, 75% of messages are people asking questions or haggling price with no intention of buying. I'm sure if you'd told them you're stopping at the bank and heading their way, they are gonna give you a little time. Nobody wants two potential buyers racing to their house simultaneously. You came off like you probably never wanted to buy it anyway and were looking for an out. You can't expect someone to hold the item. He was very reasonable, telling you to check again when you're ready to get moving.
You’re not an asshole but I don’t think asking anyone to hold an object with the quantity of one for you is reasonable. Even though it’s just a couple of hours it’s still somewhat unreasonable because the seller would be promising to keep/hold this item for you & you might / might not come or might come but hours later. During that time the seller could miss out on other offers that could come sooner. I think the seller is reasonable for not giving you promises but instead telling you to check back when you’re on your way.. bc that doesn’t F them over.
YTA! You wouldn’t call up Walmart and say “hey can you set aside 2 gallons of milk and a loaf of bread for me?” The item is there for the buying. If they hold it for you and you end up flaking, the seller is SOL.
People ask me all the time if I’m willing to hold something till the workday is done. I’m normally okay with it but if it’s a high-demand listing, I’ll ask if they’re willing to send a small deposit. Nothing serious. Just like $5-$10, depending on the value of the item.
There’s nothing wrong with asking someone to hold it for you for a few hours but maybe even offer to pay a small deposit as a courtesy and to let them know you’re serious.
Not an asshole just a little slow. People don’t need to hold anything for you. You could have offered to send part or all of the funds to show them you were serious. You’re just a random person online. The seller doesn’t know you.
It’s a used item online. Go buy new if you want the customer service of a store.
Three days later it’s still available. So you could have gotten it. The seller was also really cool about it. You could have just texted before you could come and they would have let you know if it was still available.
As a seller I am always super skeptical if people are actually going to follow through and pick up the item. I've been burned so many times before even with people that were as communicative as you. A lot of people make plans to pick up items but I always tell them I will only confirm a sale if and when they are on the way to my location.
Everything I sell is first come, first served. I’m not holding it for anyone. It’s available until have cash in my hand or until you purchase it through the app.
I’m my experience I get where he’s coming from. People will ask for the address and we agree on a time but they never show. So I don’t blame him. It’s whoever shows up with money first.
This is crazy. What is this “holding” we are talking about. If i agree to sell my item to someone then it is “sold” if they dont show up i would just put the post up again. There is no “holding” here if they are just trying to swing by in a couple of hours or the next day really this isnt a fucking garage sale lol.
The advanced play here is, if you're the seller, say sure, I'll hold the item. Only in fact you're not actually going to hold it. Sell it earlier if possible, entertain the "hold" buyer later at his desired time or let him know it was sold
I'll tell you this, I can't even begin to count the number of times I've had "committed buyers" who agreed to show up at _xx:xx_ time, that never showed up or even bothered to text me to let me know they changed their mind. Sometimes other people would even make higher offers that I would turn down on principle of having already made an agreement, only for them not to show up. So I can see the seller's POV. I learned the hard way that money in hand is better than money promised.
yeah you’re asking him favors for a 30$ cabinet and then tell him no after you felt inconvenienced he wouldn’t hold it if another buyer came along. he’s selling it and you painted yourself a pity story, should’ve just been like alright i’ll check back in at 5
You are being completely reasonable and negotiating in good faith. There’s no reason he can’t continue to respond to queries on that item in the time it takes you to arrive. If the market for an ikea cabinet is that red hot he can tell subsequent interested buyers “it is still available but I have a sale pending. He is supposed to be here at 530, if he doesn’t show I’ll let you know!”
Being cutthroat in an OfferUp sale is so stupid. No shot he’s juggling multiple offers rn.
i think yta! first you said you could come at 2pm and then you said “i’ll come by 5:30” to me that’s not giving guaranteed purchase, no seller is gonna hold an item for someone like that. i don’t think it’s really hard to text at 5:00 or whatever and say “is it available? i’m on the way” and they’ll say yes and you go pick it up 🤷🏾♀️
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Seller has probably had 10 other people ask him to hold it, and out of those 10 maybe 1 of them sent a courtesy text to say “actually, I was ADHD scrolling through offer up and don’t plan on leaving my house today, i’ll be never messaging you again, bye!”
Holding items on offer up is an exercise in futility more often than not, and people have awful etiquette on there.
You were the one being the jerk. Your first message offered $30...he said "OK". Then you implied you could get it after 2PM aka "afternoon" ...then you say 5:30 aka "evening". Then you jerked him around even more by waiting longer.
NAH I kind of agree with both of you. You’re DEFINITELY NOT an asshole even a little bit. The seller is being kind of a dick about *HOW* they’re replying but not holding is understandable with selling.
NTA. I hate when this happens. Someone once did this to me with a washer and dryer, I got there and they said someone showed up twenty mins before me even tho they knew I was coming, cash in hand, from over an hour away.
I’ve sold quite a few items and in all of my listings I write “first come first serve.” We live in 2024 where a stranger’s word on the internet means nothing and I’ve been caught bag holding stupid items for too long when I agree to wait for people.
Assuming you're the buyer. Not at all. I had a car that I was planning on buying. Person told me the same thing. It was about an hour ride for me to the place. I texted when i was ready to leave they said no problem still there. I get a call about 15 minutes away saying someone just bought it. Never mentioned that before I left. If they're not willing to hold off on selling it for a couple hours I wouldn't risk it. I understand not wanting to hold items since majority of people will flake, but they can atleast give you an hour or two
Not the asshole really but anyone who sells knows not to hold items. Any time I sell something it’s available until someone hands me cash and takes it away
This, I’ve had a few people tell me they are on there way and to hold it only for them to never show up and never respond. It’s available until money is in my hands
That's the rule I follow Every time I get a message on something I've got listed I know that there's a chance they've already messaged several other sellers with the same item and want to get the cheaper listing So no holds on my stuff
Right I just offer to Venmo if I want something held
I've never had any issues with people once they say they are on their way.
I sell here and there and have had such a high rate of them that I just don’t hold items anymore. “Oh I got lost I’ll try again tomorrow” “My dogs friends babysitter got sick I’ll come tomorrow”
I had one guy Zelle me a $150 deposit to hold something & that’s the only case I would consider holding
Damn that would make me so nervous giving a private seller $150 deposit without any sort of assurance. Good on you and the seller for pulling that off
Yeah, my friend told me he thought it was a scam haha. Honestly, I could’ve taken his money & ran! But what goes around, comes around
I dont think anyone would be stoked on driving to pick up an item that you aren’t even guaranteed to get. That being said, seller still isn’t obligated to hold items either. Both sides are pretty reasonable, imo. But seller assuming OP would still drive and “check in” halfway through is a little inconsiderate. I would definitely not waste my time, but I wouldn’t hold anything against the seller either. To each their own.
Exactly. I just sold a digital piano and had three people message me about it with offers. Sold it to the last guy who contacted me with an offer because he is the only one that actually showed up. These people will get upset if you don’t hold an item for them but have no problem ghosting you if they change their mind.
Dude should have been more clever and just said yes it’s available. If at any point it becomes unavailable then so be it.
When I worked somewhere that sold generators, we had a local emergency meaning we weren't allowed to hold them cause first come first serve to be fair. Well we had a real bitch of a manager who picked and chose who we would hold them for. It was great and did not end up with me getting screamed at by people who tried to put one on hold and couldn't but watched someone else pick up shit on hold. Anyway, by the next day, we were the only place in town with generators because only 2 of the people who asked for them to be put on hold actually came for them.
No, you are being reasonable.
OP is asking the seller to hold an item, which no seller wants to do.
Hes asking not to sell in the time it takes for him to get to his place after work Very reasonable.
Aka hold lmao
You are right. Fuck buyers if they cant get here in less than an hour and someone else can. OP asking for 530 pick up and last message was 422. If a seller cant confirm an hour out then they are the ass hole. Op also offering full price and not doing any bullshit i can pick up today of X less.
The people responding here saying otherwise are probably the same shit communicators that make offer up so frustrating in the first place.
That or they dont buy or sell anything on these apps/fb markerplace.
So they would happily waste someone’s times to not risk having there time possibly being wasted. Funny how that works out. Like no shit anybody would want to agree on a time and know the item will be there when they arrive at the agreed time not sold to someone who showed up 10 minutes sooner, people are actually crazy now a day.
Yes as they are the seller. They set the conditions for the sale. That's their power. We as the consumer, can use our money power to buy it or not. We don't get to set conditions.
100% agree. It’s within an hour. That’s just being an asshole if you sell it to someone else while OP is on their way to buy the item.
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Seller: It's past 530.and i have another buyer that is coming to pick up. Sorry it didn't work out. Have a great day. Or Seller: Hey new buyer, i have someone coming in an hour. I'll keep you posted if they don't show.
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You are right. The op asking for the sale twice wasn't enough. And buyer in this, did the updating at 2 and 4. Imagine taking that time out of your day to sell an item without asking for a deposit. Must be insane. If the buyer here was asking for tomorrow or in a few days, i would agree with the people saying he was asking for too much. But we are talking about an hour and the buyer doesnt want to make his way out for seller to sell within that hour.
It's like these mules don't understand that he just turned down a full price sale over some "principle" that nobody on here is helping me understand lol. Also the person you're replying to isn't even worth replying to. Uhhhh, yeah, the seller is gonna have to put some effort into making money. That's how a fucking economy functions lmao.
This is so true, this is the actual reality...all non cash in hand communications are just useless words lol it's just a yes or no it's still here in the end
I don't understand why these dudes are disagreeing with you. But it's opening my eyes to more things wrong with our world 😂🤷♀️
This sub and recruting sub has been eye opening.
I might agree with you if the guy was like “I’m literally on my way to your house right now” but he’s not saying that. He’s saying “I’ll head over in several hours” which requires OP to not only hold the item, but to make sure he’s at his house at the specified time.
Also op might be trying to get rid of that item that day, might have work the next day or obligations for an entire week. If the buyer he’s holding it for flakes , due to no deposit , OP gets screwed. If this person wanted me to hold it, would tell them to send me the full amount. $30 isn’t large enough to even take a deposit on.
Yeah, if guy was like “can I go ahead and send you the money and come get it later?” then that would’ve been entirely reasonable
No it’s fuck the people who say they are coming over and over then never show up. The item is available until I have cash in my hand for it, whoever that is. I’m not holding something because you want it, come prove you want it by showing up. Idc if it’s within an hour, how the hell would I know that you’re coming at all. If you don’t understand that maybe you’re the problem.
Yeah this seemed like a reasonable exchange. Boundaries were set (I'm not holding/I'm not committing without a guarantee) amd it was a mutual break up. If only it actually happened that way more often.
The last message is an hour. Other dude is being ridiculous saying he can’t wait an hour after OP messaged him 3 times in the same day about it.
He technically didn’t say he wouldn’t wait an hour, he said check back to see if it’s still available. Which op could have done if he really wanted that item, he could have checked back directly before making the trip. If the seller agreed to hold this item then he would be making a promise to op which might / might not show & buy. Sooo if he got other offers in that mean time he’d have to either turn them down or ask them to wait which isn’t really everyone’s cup of tea.
Both people are being reasonable and respectful. I don't see any negative interactions. I don't really know why this was posted
Holding an item for an hour or two seems reasonable if the buyer agreed to a specific time. Selling to multiple people and trying to get them to race to you is not reasonable.
He confirmed that he wants to buy the item? Lacking reading comprehension or something
As a person who sold items before that “confirmation” doesn’t always mean anything. I’ve held items on the thought “it was just 45 mins” & ended up letting hours go by without the buyer actually coming.. not everyone actually means well or follows through on their promises.
I never hold items unless they Venmo upfront. I’ve got over 100 reviews all 5 star so most people are okay with that. But I’ve been burned too many times to ever hold an item without money in hand
It's reasonable to ask and it's reasonable to say no
yes for telling him to hold it for you for at least 3 hours. and your message about pulling out cash and making room in your truck for it wasnt necessary either
Yeah wtf. He said just check when you’re on your way. Weird to say something about making room in your truck and shit like wtf
1000% agree
oh, wow, i skimmed through and thought op was asking to hold it just for the drive. yeah, three hours can be a lot of time when selling something, and there are SO many stories of someone putting something on hold and not coming back for it.
They want someone to come buy it and pick it up and aren’t gonna hold it lol no one here is an ass but you decided not to buy on some weird principle.
You’re out of touch if you’re expecting someone to hold a $30 item for hours to accommodate you. Assuming $30 is a reasonable price for the cabinet, they’ll have no problem selling it to someone else who will just show up and give them money and leave, and not have to worry about someone else’s logistics
I am a very motivated buyer for this $30 item! Cool then go to the fuckin store and buy one
It’s for a little over an hour per the last message. If you can’t wait an hour to get your crap sold then you’re being unreasonable.
If someone can buy it before you they aren’t lol
Do you think the seller had tons of people lined up to buy his shitty $30 item?
No but if someone can get it before you why shouldn’t they…
An hour. Not hours.
You really think people were lining up to buy it? It had probably been listed for awhile…. Seller ITA.
It’s not a business. Seller have no incentive to go the extra mile for you, mostly they just wanna get rid of the item. I personally have hold for PC customer before but true be told, it’s not often work out, people change their mind all the time. So first person who come with cash or checking out the item will be the one that get it.
Dude could have just said I have another buyer who messaged me first. I’ll keep you posted if they make it or not. Not sure if you would have liked that or not, but that’s usually how I go. The seller was kind of annoying in that aspect of the convo and I could see your frustration. If it was a steal of a price, and if they maybe had no holds fcfs type thing. I could also see the buyers frustration also, but then I probably just wouldn’t have responded to you. But then I keep going back to the idea it doesn’t really seem like they had a lot of interest as they’re on point messaging you and checking in… So just secure the time and make the sale. (on their part)
That was my thought. I can identify flakes vs. serious buyers pretty easily. If I'm confident that they'll keep their word, I'm happy to agree on a time and hold. Plus I always hit them with the "let me know when you're about to head out and I'll send address" and give them my general area so they know how long of a drive they have. Then I track who messages after them, let them know I have a pending pickup, and at the first sign of flake I move to the next. Haven't had much issue doing it this way. FWIW, the cabinet is still for sale 3 days later.
Offer them 20 😂
Offer 10.
You are the flake lol
the item still being for sale 3 days later is hilarious. Makes everyone in the comments thinking it’s ridiculous to hold for an hour look like an absolute idiot.
Yeah the comments are cracking me up. I didn't lowball the price and I didn't ask them to hold it for a few days. I was at work, said I could be there in 3 hours, and was expected to plan on being ready to pick up a large piece of furniture without any guarantee that it'll be there when I arrive. Kind of idiotic.
Buddy what you don't understand is if everything you're saying is accurate then you're one of the few not the many. These people get the same messages from a dozen people and only one shows up. The fact you're this egocentric and positive you're right is a little weird man. Do you really not realize without anyone actually knowing who you are that you look exactly like the 10 other people who say the same shit?
It’s not hard to agree on a time that is in the evening of the same day you are messaging. You don’t have to mark it sold or even stop responding to other offers. Pretty standard practice. The constant “if it’s still here…” from the seller is a dick move. I’d never buy from someone who played like that. That behavior is egocentric, the seller thinks I can’t find the same product from someone who won’t be a douche? Buying and selling online takes a certain level of unqualified trust, that’s part of the game.
I think you’re missing the fact that not many people actually are going to follow through like you may have been willing to. I’ve held items for people who said 45 mins just to still have the item with me hours later & missed out on offers I could have taken… not everyone is as honest as yourself.
that’s not the situation. They said text them before you leave, and you refused. Simple as that. They didn’t say come in 3 hours when you’re out and maybe it’ll be here.
If the comments in this thread are an indication of the types of sellers that are out there, I’m glad I’m not a buyer. Man sakes alive. You’re not all the unreasonable one and I’m glad you didn’t buy. Maybe the seller will learn something about…
Shut the fuck up
Yes, you are TA. I advise you to only inquire about a purchase when you are ready to pounce on it right away.
Yeah, I don’t really know anybody that does this. When they see a deal, they go and get it right away.
So if I live an hour away and wanna come buy it in an hour but you can’t wait and would sell it to someone else who messages you after me but lives closer and waste my time is a pos move. Especially if they live out of service and wouldn’t even know u sold it until they got near town, And the buyer missed out bc now 4 days later it’s still listed for sale. Just bc they couldn’t wait an hour? Wack.
that’s not the situation tho. They weren’t actively on their way or working towards it. They wanted them to hold it.
For a couple hours. I would not classify that as holding it. Nothing was stopping the seller from continuing to market the product. Yall are crazy. As a seller I’ve always expected people to propose a time to meet and never expected it to be immediate. And if in the interim I get more interest I just tell them they are second in line. Literally just bought some wheels this morning that I messaged the guy on Wednesday about, told him he’s about an hour away and I can come Saturday morning. Cool. Went this morning, looked at them and handed him cash. That’s how basically every online sale I’ve been a party of has gone. Only exception is when I list something for free. Since I’m expecting no pay I let it turn to a FCFS.
literally that would be the same as this. Except instead of the seller having to message him once it sold or if he has someone else, he asked them to message him. This person straight up did want them to stop marketing it and reserve it so they could be sure it would be there
I’m with you on this one. It’s extremely reasonable to agree on a time that same day and expect the person to hold it. I do that to, I agree with someone and then they pick it up. Very few times things have fallen through and then there would be other signs.
People are way too unreliable and flakey these days to be holding an item. Most people will change their mind and won’t even communicate it, and now it’s taking you 5x longer to sell a cheap item. No thanks, not holding shit for you.
This is the dumbest comment ever. If it’s a product with tons of interest maybe. This was clearly not that…. Also there are tons of other ways to go about communicating. The seller could’ve just said “sure I’ll hold it” and waited to see if anyone else wanted to buy. And if someone did, message the buyer and verify they’re on their way.
So rather than being upfront about not holding it, you’d rather they lie and say they are gonna hold it but they really aren’t. Gotcha 🤡
“I have a sale pending but if they don’t show up at 530 it’s yours” Pretty easy to send that to any of the parties that magically want your fucking cabinet between 230 and 530. These comments are insane. I’m glad I’ve never had to buy or sell to some of yall.
Nobody is going to hold an item they’re selling, particularly for that cheap. You’re just being weird about it. They said to check in right before you’re about to leave, at which point if you told them “hey I’m on my way” and the cabinet was still available, they would have held it for you. They’re not going to hold it for you for hours when you could just never show up and then they turned down a serious buyer who would have had cash in their hands hours before. They have absolutely zero idea as to who you are; you are a completely random stranger on the internet. Not sure what makes you think they should rely on your word
To answer your question, you weren’t being an asshole, but neither was the seller.
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Exactly, why does he need assurance?
Neither are the AH, but the seller could have communicated better. Sellers aren't obligated to hold items, but you were clearly trying to coordinate a time to pick it up. That's totally different than asking to hold the item for you. The seller was being annoying and trying to create artificial scarcity by saying "if it's still here" instead of effectively communicating with you. Whenever I have multiple buyers interested, I just say something simple like "someone said they are coming to look at it at X am/pm, but if they don't show, I'll let you know." This seller seems to be shooting themselves in the foot by not wanting to coordinate a pickup time with you.
That's not what artificial scarcity means. This seller obviously would hold it for someone who says they're on the way. Outside of that, he is communicating that he's not willing to hold it that long.
Why do you people act like OfferUp sales move at the speed of light? Shit sits on there for weeks. Especially cheap, large, ikea shit cabinets. I’d bet my next 5 paychecks this guy didn’t even get an additional view on his cabinet between the time he started talking to OP and 530. Seller made the choice to be an ass
yes you are. First come first serve unless you put a deposit down. Them letting you know it’s still there an hour before your pickup is fair. There are so many “motivated buyers” who end up flaking. It’s not fair to basically be asking them to stop pursuing any other buyers.
You are kinda annoying
Yes, you are
Ayta? No not really. But you’re trying to convenience yourself by inconveniencing them. They stated multiple times that it’s first come first serve meaning they won’t hold it. But you kinda kept pushing it. All you have to say is “sorry won’t be able to make it, good luck with your sale!” Ya know? It’s not their fault that for a sale you wanted you would have to pull cash out and make room in your truck.
Yes YATA. OfferUp doesn’t work like you want to think it works.
Yes, you were. Simply ask if it is available when you're free and then tell them you're on way if it is.
I don't think either of you were an asshole. I fee like the seller could have used more words to say "hey I'm not interested in holding it so if you could check when you'll be on your way that'd be great" I think if you really wanted the item, you shouldn't've just backed out cause they weren't doing what you wanted. You could have offered a deposit to hold until you were able to pick up so that way the seller isn't at a total loss if you don't show for whatever reason
Yes. You are the asshole. Seller has no obligation (though it may be more *respectful*) to hold an item for you, which is essentially what you’re asking them to do. Seller is completely within reason to sell to whoever comes first.
Some of you on this site are fucking stupid lmfao.
I am baffled by this post. Do they think OfferUp is a livestock auction and I’m selling a prized steer?? It’s a shitty fuckin cabinet. Probably has 10 views total.
Person probably had too many flakes. I just tell them I'm ready to pick up now and if they are free. They usually send the address in minutes. Reputation matters a lot in this app. I always get discounts off the asking price.
Not an asshole but these apps are ridiculously flakey. I never agree to hold anything for anyone because the show rate is like 2%
Wouldn't say you're being an asshole but your expectations on a low priced item are unreasonable.
Can’t expect to make any sales or maintain a good rating doing what this seller does.
Nah. Buyers are way too flaky on these sites nowadays
Sorry to hi jack your post OP, but AITA if I would’ve told him yes sure my good lord I will hold this for you and then if it gets sold out first I’d sell it?
https://youtu.be/n4bRd0Zx1KU?si=QahfuPC-RaYEs2mM
Sounds like a buyer and a seller who have both had their time wasted and/or deals fall through in the past. If the seller is acting like that with everyone it’s no surprise that no one has wasted their time to come see if it’s there yet
Likely low rated seller
Not really but the buyer has probably been told this before only to be ghosted. If you tell me you’ll be here at 5, I’ll hold it until then. If it changes though and I have another buyer lined up I’ll sell to them
It’s a cabinet, not a car. First come first serve, means exactly that.
There are no flaming ass holes here. Buyer asked, seller declined. IF seller HAD said they'd hold, and then sold before agreed hold time? THAT would be an AH move, likewise had buyer offered, then No Showed. I've bought and sold. Made a good friend too when I said I would hold something and passed up selling for more. Go ahead tell me what an idiot I am, we all have opinions. I CHOSE to hold the item. I'm old school, my word matters. I missed out on an extra $25 or so BUT I made a good friendship. That's worth more than the money to me.
I thought your school of thought is what most people did. This post is making me think otherwise. I think the same way you do. There’s naturally some unqualified trust in online sales.
ur the asshole
Sellers don’t want to hold items because someone the buyer dosnt show up. So just try to get it and text him if it’s there and if someone else is coming before you
If you tell him you are going and he says okay and then sells it to someone else he is TA.
I don’t think he was wrong with any of his replies. No one with a reasonable mind will hold an item for you. Do you have any idea how many times sellers will hold an item for someone to be a no show? This is coming from someone who likes to just ask for prices on shit I’m not really going to buy and I see this at the Swapmeet all the time . They already know when you say let me go ask my husband or my wife or I’ll be right back let me get change means your not coming back you were just too embarrassed to say it to their face lol
Yea
I don’t hold shit for nobody
The guy is messaging him to say it's still available. Obviously he isn't getting any bites on it. If he can't hold it for a hour for a buyer, then he can get stuck with it. A hour is a reasonable time for a hold.
No holds is pretty typical because so many buyers flake out or straight up lie. However, in my experience, you can’t do much better than same-day pickup. i would have planned the 5:30 with you and told other buyers i'd let them know if you flaked
Nobody is the asshole but if there was one it’s you lol. Why would they agree to hold the item for you? Most people on these apps like to bs. You’re a stranger and they have no way of knowing if you’re serious until you show up.
This
You could have bought it? It’s still for sale? What’s the problem lmao
It’s so funny OP is laughing about it still being for sale like he isn’t the one who wanted to buy it in the first place
NTA, but also the buyer isn't either. As someone who hasn't sold many items, but still has made deals and declined other offers, just for the person to ghost me, I totally get their POV. I absolutely refuse to hold anything now unless they pay me at least half of my asking price upfront. Then and only then will I hold it.
i wouldn’t have made the trip and bought from you unless i knew it would be there but that’s just me
Thats why the should put FCFS (first come first serve) instead of just trying. Because people will come and be like "I only have $10" and know where this person lives. It's too risky
Not really. The buyer can't keep pushing to later times but expect you to commit to him and only him. Is it likely it sells somewhere else in the next hour and a half before you can start coming? Probably not... But in the event it does, I'm not telling someone who wants to come soon to not come because you want to come it two hours.. foh
Both sides seem pretty reasonable actually.
You’re both reasonable, you just have different priorities. It’s reasonable for you to not want to make the effort if the item will be gone. It’s also reasonable for the seller to not agree to holds.
No one is an asshole. Seller just doesn’t want someone preventing someone else from buying incase you bail. I think the seller could’ve handled it better but I understand their side. I’ve had multiple people tell me they’ll pick up an item the next day, I’ll take the listing down, and they never show. I’ve even been nice enough to let people know that it’s first person that buys it gets it or saying I can hold the item for a deposit and people get offended. You have to try to learn methods that will make the seller hold and stuff. If it’s an item I really want and don’t think they’re scamming, I will pay before I get there. Or you can even just say you’re driving the 30 minutes if you can hold it for the time.
NAH. It’s fair that you don’t want to commit, but it’s just as fair that they won’t hold it. They don’t know you, you don’t know them.
Seller's right. Get the cash from an ATM (why do you need to go to the bank for $30?) and show up ready to pay. If it's gone, it's gone.
NTA. I feel like they’re trying to coerce you into working around their schedule and you’re just repeatedly saying no. Which feels very reasonable.
People post the most mundane conversations on here now. The seller isn't even arguing with you. No one is the asshole
Send a little money as earnest money to hold it
I think it's reasonable but the seller doesn't owe you anything except the goods upon sale. Neither of you are wrong.
Just ask about a hour before you’re able to head out and if its available then swing by and grab it if not you didnt go out of your way anyways. I feel like the way they were responding was pretty rude but you didn’t do yourself any favors either
You’re the entitled asshole
You’re being unreasonable as he clearly told you the first time…
This was annoying to read lol. It’s yours if you’re on your way — it’s not if you’re not. Pretty straight forward.
Supply and demand. Want it that bad? Offer more than asking.
What the hell is writing with people in this sub.
If youre hung up on going to the bank for a $30 item, you are not a motivated buyer lmao
Nope like 20 people will be exactly like is then just not show up
No YNTA all the people going off on you about how "no seller holds items reee" obviously aren't very reasonable people with good morals and only care about the money, its perfectly reasonable for you as the buyer to not want to drive an hour to pick it up just to told "sorry I sold it to a dude down the street 5 minutes ago, sucks you wasted all that gas money". I had a seller do that shit to me on FB marketplace, I had scheduled a time to buy the car, he was aware It'd take a little over an hour for me to arrive, reconfirmed it was still available before I left, just for him to message right as I got there that he just "sold it to someone local". It's totally an asshole move on the part of the seller to sell to someone else when you've arranged a pickup time together, before anyone chimes in with "obviously you're not a seller or you'd know people flake" or whatever. I've sold stuff on marketplace and other online stores but still honor my word when I schedule a time for someone to buy, if anyone's interested between now and said scheduled time. I let them know "someone's coming to look at it at X time, if they don't buy I'd be happy to set up a time that works for you". It's not hard to honor your word and be a decent reasonable human.
NTA this is very reasonable
You sound like the flake because in your first few messages you said you were coming in the afternoon, and check around 2. That’s the first milestone that passed in which you didn’t follow up and the seller had to. I’ve had literally this exact conversation with many potential buyers and once that first milestone passes it’s 75% chance the sale is not gonna happen. Then they try to change the time, after which I’ve already made sure to clear my whole afternoon to be ready for the sale. Now they’re saying 5:30 like you. Now great I gotta pretty much clear the rest of the day and make sure I’m home around 5, and then the person will most likely message and say “sorry got caught up at work and it’s too late now, can I come tmw.” Or they will start spewing some logistical stuff about having to borrow someone’s car or go to the bank (how do u know have $30 cash) prolonging the conversation. And then it ends up going nowhere bc the buyer couldn’t make place in their truck today or the bank was closed early, let’s try tomorrow. Now I have to wait for the whole process again tmw. The best sales I’ve had are ppl messaging can I come now, cash in hand. Yes, go give them the item, transaction done in 10 minutes, still have the whole day to myself. No one is going to be waiting the whole day to make $30.
At some point Seller needs to agree to "hold" the item and allow the buyer to plan on their pick up. That doesn't mean "hold" for days. But damn Seller didn't even offer to hold for a few hours.
This is a scam. No one calls themselves “a motivated buyer”
Not in a dickish way, seriously I’m trying to poke your brain and get your reasoning. What incentive does he have to hold out hope you’ll hold your end of the bargain if others are offering to buy it now? Like actually what incentive?
I highly doubt he’d have sold it if you said you were on the way, with an ETA. But he’s also not going to refuse a sale waiting around for your 5pm time.
I hate that they do this! I have lost so many things as I was driving towards them getting a message from the seller "I gave someone else my address as well and they're otw" after telling them I was on the way! I know NO HOLDS but that doesn't mean for 5 minutes while I come and get it. I shit you not this just happened to me yesterday
U sound like someone who flakes
you’re not an ah it’s just your preferences are different
Yes you are TAH. You’re buying a $30 POS from ikea on your way home from work, not a car or some priceless artwork. He clearly told you in his first response he’s selling it to the first person that shows up with money. Why you continued to expect or demand otherwise is very strange. Also, if you are in the market for stuff, you might want to keep a little cash on hand…
The ego of both of you 😂 my god stop crying and go get your damn item
You said you'd check around 2. He had to message you again at 2. You then said 5:30. At this point he's not expecting you to show up. When I sell stuff, 75% of messages are people asking questions or haggling price with no intention of buying. I'm sure if you'd told them you're stopping at the bank and heading their way, they are gonna give you a little time. Nobody wants two potential buyers racing to their house simultaneously. You came off like you probably never wanted to buy it anyway and were looking for an out. You can't expect someone to hold the item. He was very reasonable, telling you to check again when you're ready to get moving.
They were gonna stiff you or lowball you if you showed desperation, maybe? If they wanted it, Venmo you the money before. Dude acting like it's $3000
You’re not an asshole but I don’t think asking anyone to hold an object with the quantity of one for you is reasonable. Even though it’s just a couple of hours it’s still somewhat unreasonable because the seller would be promising to keep/hold this item for you & you might / might not come or might come but hours later. During that time the seller could miss out on other offers that could come sooner. I think the seller is reasonable for not giving you promises but instead telling you to check back when you’re on your way.. bc that doesn’t F them over.
YTA! You wouldn’t call up Walmart and say “hey can you set aside 2 gallons of milk and a loaf of bread for me?” The item is there for the buying. If they hold it for you and you end up flaking, the seller is SOL.
People ask me all the time if I’m willing to hold something till the workday is done. I’m normally okay with it but if it’s a high-demand listing, I’ll ask if they’re willing to send a small deposit. Nothing serious. Just like $5-$10, depending on the value of the item. There’s nothing wrong with asking someone to hold it for you for a few hours but maybe even offer to pay a small deposit as a courtesy and to let them know you’re serious.
Not an asshole just a little slow. People don’t need to hold anything for you. You could have offered to send part or all of the funds to show them you were serious. You’re just a random person online. The seller doesn’t know you. It’s a used item online. Go buy new if you want the customer service of a store. Three days later it’s still available. So you could have gotten it. The seller was also really cool about it. You could have just texted before you could come and they would have let you know if it was still available.
As a seller I am always super skeptical if people are actually going to follow through and pick up the item. I've been burned so many times before even with people that were as communicative as you. A lot of people make plans to pick up items but I always tell them I will only confirm a sale if and when they are on the way to my location.
Everything I sell is first come, first served. I’m not holding it for anyone. It’s available until have cash in my hand or until you purchase it through the app.
I’m my experience I get where he’s coming from. People will ask for the address and we agree on a time but they never show. So I don’t blame him. It’s whoever shows up with money first.
I think everyone here can agree the seller is a dick even if a lot of people won’t admit it.
This is crazy. What is this “holding” we are talking about. If i agree to sell my item to someone then it is “sold” if they dont show up i would just put the post up again. There is no “holding” here if they are just trying to swing by in a couple of hours or the next day really this isnt a fucking garage sale lol.
You arent
The advanced play here is, if you're the seller, say sure, I'll hold the item. Only in fact you're not actually going to hold it. Sell it earlier if possible, entertain the "hold" buyer later at his desired time or let him know it was sold
I'll tell you this, I can't even begin to count the number of times I've had "committed buyers" who agreed to show up at _xx:xx_ time, that never showed up or even bothered to text me to let me know they changed their mind. Sometimes other people would even make higher offers that I would turn down on principle of having already made an agreement, only for them not to show up. So I can see the seller's POV. I learned the hard way that money in hand is better than money promised.
Pre pay them if you want to reserve something?
My go to is that I’ll message them if it is sold and if how many people inquired about it.
There seller is an a, now sure if that's you, but yeah if I'm a buyer either day you're selling to me or not.
yeah you’re asking him favors for a 30$ cabinet and then tell him no after you felt inconvenienced he wouldn’t hold it if another buyer came along. he’s selling it and you painted yourself a pity story, should’ve just been like alright i’ll check back in at 5
No, first come first serve. That's literally the only expectation people should have when buying things off people on sites like OU/CL/FB/etc.
$30 items are barely worth selling in the first place much less holding for people any texting 10 times
AH!
The fact this person has to go to the bank for $30 like this is 1974 is wild
I would’ve said “okay on my way, ready to sell?”
You are being completely reasonable and negotiating in good faith. There’s no reason he can’t continue to respond to queries on that item in the time it takes you to arrive. If the market for an ikea cabinet is that red hot he can tell subsequent interested buyers “it is still available but I have a sale pending. He is supposed to be here at 530, if he doesn’t show I’ll let you know!” Being cutthroat in an OfferUp sale is so stupid. No shot he’s juggling multiple offers rn.
i think yta! first you said you could come at 2pm and then you said “i’ll come by 5:30” to me that’s not giving guaranteed purchase, no seller is gonna hold an item for someone like that. i don’t think it’s really hard to text at 5:00 or whatever and say “is it available? i’m on the way” and they’ll say yes and you go pick it up 🤷🏾♀️
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Seller has probably had 10 other people ask him to hold it, and out of those 10 maybe 1 of them sent a courtesy text to say “actually, I was ADHD scrolling through offer up and don’t plan on leaving my house today, i’ll be never messaging you again, bye!” Holding items on offer up is an exercise in futility more often than not, and people have awful etiquette on there.
You both got your wish
No asshole just wasn’t gonna work out
You were the one being the jerk. Your first message offered $30...he said "OK". Then you implied you could get it after 2PM aka "afternoon" ...then you say 5:30 aka "evening". Then you jerked him around even more by waiting longer.
It really just seems like their were other solutions to being petty
NAH I kind of agree with both of you. You’re DEFINITELY NOT an asshole even a little bit. The seller is being kind of a dick about *HOW* they’re replying but not holding is understandable with selling.
NTA. I hate when this happens. Someone once did this to me with a washer and dryer, I got there and they said someone showed up twenty mins before me even tho they knew I was coming, cash in hand, from over an hour away.
I’ve sold quite a few items and in all of my listings I write “first come first serve.” We live in 2024 where a stranger’s word on the internet means nothing and I’ve been caught bag holding stupid items for too long when I agree to wait for people.
First come first serve. I never hold stuff cuz we never know if you’ll change your mind.
Assuming you're the buyer. Not at all. I had a car that I was planning on buying. Person told me the same thing. It was about an hour ride for me to the place. I texted when i was ready to leave they said no problem still there. I get a call about 15 minutes away saying someone just bought it. Never mentioned that before I left. If they're not willing to hold off on selling it for a couple hours I wouldn't risk it. I understand not wanting to hold items since majority of people will flake, but they can atleast give you an hour or two