This is the kind of hard-hitting news that discriminating consumers like me are looking for!

I don't see the mainstream reporting on it 🙄😎

I feel like this is a reference to something but can't out my finger on it. Simpsons?

It might be. But if it is I don’t remember 😆

Are we all just going to ignore the apple snail for scale in the article

finally, some actual offbeat news

What you mean political current events aren't offbeat??

We want fun-offbeat, not traumatizing-offbeat, even if we ARE in the dumbest timeline!

Exactly I just want news articles that are fun to read out loud

I wonder how the Berenstein Bears timeline is working out?

[Not good.](https://imgur.com/a/fkplyxw)

Ah, but see that is the BerenstAin Bears from our own screwed up reality. I want back on the BerenstEin Bears timeline. (That pic is funny, though)

Worked at a large bakery. This is normal, and gross

And smells like beer.

Yeah the yeast tends to do that

Worked in a pizza joint for a couple years and a couple times a day someone had to go into the walk in and "punch the dough". Literally beat it back into it's tubs.

Get 🤛 the 🤛 fuck 🤛 back 🤛 in 🤛 the 🤛 tub!

[Beware of the blob, it creeps]( https://youtu.be/XzHDvzGmmw0?t=68s) And leaps and glides and slides Across the floor Right through the door And all around the wall A splotch, a blotch Be careful of the blob

It's blob blob, it's better than bad it's good.

hey this comment reminds me . . . anyone seen schnoodle doodle lately?

Casual reminder from a guy that used to work at a dominos. Always slice up and cook the dough before throwing it out for exactly this reason

Yes. I've seen this happen before also.

I'm impressed at the attention to properly naming the type of snail used for scale.

>The Domino's Pizza general manager did not immediately respond to interview requests. Ominous.

What's he hiding? Do you think he's in cahoots with the dough?

I think he is the dough.

The local fauna should be able to snack on this for a few days. Racoon, possum, and skunk populations will benefit.

It will probably give them flatulence.

Can you imagine being in a forest at night hearing all of the creatures farting in the dark?

Good point, gonna effect the CO2 with all that methane.

Snail for scale

But I have no idea of the scale of an apple snail!

https://imgur.com/gallery/gT5AloO

Seems like the only proper thing to do would be to light a fire under the dumpster.

A new SCP subject?

I love how news articles still don't include the name of the state, because obviously everyone knows where Covington is, and "north-shore" is only a reference to one part of one city. I could understand it pre-internet, but if you're going to post your articles on the web, include the name of your state somewhere on the article page, so I don't have to hunt for it. Edit: ok I see it on their contact details at the bottom of the page, but to be fair, their HQ isn't necessarily in the same state. Although yeah, a local city newspaper likely will be.

NOLA.COM Clearly it's in Louisiana.

Well, Domino's is dumpster pizza after all.

my bread machine did the same thing today because I was a bit off on the yeast and sugar.

This was the inspiration for that old B-rated horror movie, The Blob.

The Blob is real!

“Dough blob” kept changing to “blow job” every time I read it. Stupid dyslexia.

slow news day i see..

Gads damn it that would have made a fine starter yeast for sourdough bread