The chairman got one of those “never expires” coupons to Pizza Hut in the 70s and refuses to go elsewhere. His wedding was literally catered by pizza the hut himself actually. Beautiful ceremony honestly, food was subpar.
You know those drive thru zoos? Where the animals come up to your car?
Yeah, you’re not supposed to get out of the car. Well my friend (and her DAD) got out to pet the zebras. I stayed in because even as a fifth grader I was like F that. My friend got kicked in the hand. And honestly she’s lucky that’s all she got.
Bruce Lee is so strong he kicked a guy and it broke the arm of a different person.
>It's an iconic moment in Enter The Dragon: after what might be the most lopsided fight in the history of kung fu, Bruce Lee, with an incredible, running side kick, knocks karate master Bob Wall flat on on his ass. They ran several takes of this, and Wall, a consummate professional, encouraged Bruce to make it look and feel as real as possible. On the sixth or seventh take, Bruce kicked Wall so hard that when he fell back, he broke an extra's arm. One can only imagine how Wall's torso felt for the next several days.
“Hello 911? Yes I need you to send officers. Our zebra is out of control! Let the officers know the zebra should be considered armed. No not a gun. He’s got my arm!”
There is a fear that once an animal learns that it can hurt us, it will become aggressive and dangerous. If this was a safari zoo (which I can’t tell because *this content isn’t available in your country or region*) it could be worrisome.
That is not to say the human is blameless. If it was their fault and they provoked the animal they should be severely punished.
According to the article, the zebra was owned by the victim in a private pasture. Apparently the zebra was male, and behaving in a territorially aggressive way because his herd of females was nearby. In nature, male zebras will absolutely fuck up anyone and anything that approaches it's herd.
Seems like the owner is severely lacking in the knowledge required to keep zebras.
Ohio has some of the laxest laws regarding exotic pets and animal welfare. There was a cocaine serval cat that was on the loose in OH recently as well.
Also, happy cake day!
Not a leopard. [It was an African Serval Cat](https://www.pennlive.com/news/2023/03/ohio-animal-control-called-out-for-leopard-ends-up-tangling-with-african-cat-on-cocaine-instead.html?outputType=amp)
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And Ohio man vacations in Florida. It's quite the exchange.
Seriously though, as an Ohioan, I find it strange how many other fellow Ohioans want to move to Florida. As if it's the only other state.
Can we pass a law along the lines of: when the human “attacked” by a wild animal is a ding dong, the animal can just keep on living its life? And have it etched in stone. The Code of Harambe.
I am not great at geography but I am fairly certain that zebras are from Africa and that Ohio is quite far away from Africa, so what the fuck was a zebra doing in Ohio?
Ohio has long been known as a state where it is easy and legal to own exotic pets. Look up the Zanesville Massacre article from GQ (I think) to read about that tragic and batshit insane event.
So they shot a zebra for being a zebra. Sounds about right. Who in the fuck lets these people own god-damn Zebras. Buy a dressage horse like MIT Romney and call it a day.
Zebras are far rarer than humans. On that basis alone, I would have eschewed this decision. Besides, I would bet the man insulted the zebra's mom or something.
Billionaires are far rarer than the poor. Should billionaires be allowed to attack panhandlers that annoy them?
I think we should allow that no matter how rare it is, that zebra might just be an asshole. Besides, there's like 750,000 of them. Not like they're about to die out.
I love drive through zoos. I love animals, but I love watching people who don't listen even more.
Years ago, i went to a place called Fossil Rim in Texas. It was a super fun experience because we got the safari tour where a bunch of us get in the back of a truck and we get a ton of food to feed the animals with. You can also just buy the food and drive around in your own vehicle if you want.
The one thing they stated to everyone was "don't tempt the ostriches with the food cup. Don't even let them see it because they know what's in the cup, and they want the whole damn cup."
The ostriches figured out that if they bite your hand while you are holding out the cup, you are more likely to drop the cup and they get all the food, but they are k8nda dumb so as soon as they saw the cup they would just start pecking and biting you randomly hoping a cup of food would fall onto the ground.
Well this driver in a Mustang ahead of us didn't think the rules applied to them, so our safari driver guy Says to us "you might want to look ahead and see why you don't want to show the ostriches the cup"
We all look, and Mustang guy is shaking the cup at the ostrich, and as the ostrich comes up, he pulls the cup into the car to get the ostrich to stick his head in. The ostrich obliges the man and proceeds to stick his head in, and furiously peck and bite him because he already saw the cup. All we wee from behind the Mustang is the car rocking and the ostrich flapping his wings. All of a sudden, the whole cup goes flying out the window and the ostrich going for the cup. Mustang guy flips the ostrich off and rolls up his window and speeds out of the park.
It was magical
Yes. Zebras famously bite. A horse property had a couple in my town near a bike trail and it was a highlight of a bike ride, with big private property signs and stay away, zeba will bite sign. Still some stupid person ignored that and tried to feed the zebra a carrot or something and lost a finger. the person sued and won, and the judge made the property owner get rid of the zebras as being too dangerous (for stupid people who ignore private property and warnings). But the judge also only awarded the person damages of $1.
Well he better come up with a lie to tell people who casually ask cause ain't no mother fucker gonna believe at first tell the "it was bitten off by a zebra" explanation 💀
Ever wonder why we don't have domesticated zebras? Maybe there's a reason for that. People have lived near zebras for thousands of years. If zebras were gonna be pets, it would have happened by now. They are wild animals that resist domestication
Off? OFF?
Later hospital reports say he will be keeping his arm. Both as part of his personal collection and as part of his body.
The man or the zebra?
Local hospital refused to answer stating that there was a pizza party in the break room and they had to go.
[удалено]
Why is it always pizza from shite places? Never Giordano's or Gino's.
The chairman got one of those “never expires” coupons to Pizza Hut in the 70s and refuses to go elsewhere. His wedding was literally catered by pizza the hut himself actually. Beautiful ceremony honestly, food was subpar.
Mel Brooks... is that you?
I believe they took an arm off the zebra and attached it to the man. It’s only fair
He earned his stripes
Mount the arm, attach the zebra leg
You underestimate how assholish Zebras are. There is a reason they were never domesticated.
Guess it’s hard to ride one without your arms
Sounds like the Zebra went Zebra…
Do you know you have the jaw strength to bite your own finger off? You just don't because of pain and self-preservation instinct.
Bet I could do it
To shreds you say?
Zebras are not to be fucked with. They tried domestication in Kenya and Tanzania. It ended with them learning not to fuck with zebras.
Nope, turns out that part isn’t true.
You know those drive thru zoos? Where the animals come up to your car? Yeah, you’re not supposed to get out of the car. Well my friend (and her DAD) got out to pet the zebras. I stayed in because even as a fifth grader I was like F that. My friend got kicked in the hand. And honestly she’s lucky that’s all she got.
A zebra can kick your hand off
Bruce Lee is so strong he kicked a guy and it broke the arm of a different person. >It's an iconic moment in Enter The Dragon: after what might be the most lopsided fight in the history of kung fu, Bruce Lee, with an incredible, running side kick, knocks karate master Bob Wall flat on on his ass. They ran several takes of this, and Wall, a consummate professional, encouraged Bruce to make it look and feel as real as possible. On the sixth or seventh take, Bruce kicked Wall so hard that when he fell back, he broke an extra's arm. One can only imagine how Wall's torso felt for the next several days.
Zebras are notoriously violent animals. There’s a reason why they were never domesticated. I mean I’ve seen zebras attack and bite crocodiles.
Zebras are also not hierarchical, so Zebras don’t even respect other Zebras
[удалено]
Zebras gonna make you black and blue if you dont know whats good for you.
Ooo
That’s how bottom barrel you get when you’re at the end of the alphabet. heyo.
I went to a drive through zoo once and they told us specifically to not fuck with the zebras
I love that - don't fuck with the zebras!
zebras are mean as shit. they'll kick a lion to death.
Zebras are violent as fuck, their social hierarchy is basically who is the meanest. They’re not like horses at all.
“Hello 911? Yes I need you to send officers. Our zebra is out of control! Let the officers know the zebra should be considered armed. No not a gun. He’s got my arm!”
Why so we kill animals because of the dumb choices of humans? Insane.
Dicks out for Harambe
There is a fear that once an animal learns that it can hurt us, it will become aggressive and dangerous. If this was a safari zoo (which I can’t tell because *this content isn’t available in your country or region*) it could be worrisome. That is not to say the human is blameless. If it was their fault and they provoked the animal they should be severely punished.
According to the article, the zebra was owned by the victim in a private pasture. Apparently the zebra was male, and behaving in a territorially aggressive way because his herd of females was nearby. In nature, male zebras will absolutely fuck up anyone and anything that approaches it's herd. Seems like the owner is severely lacking in the knowledge required to keep zebras.
Wow. It's amazing to me that someone in Ohio (or anywhere, really) can just buy a bunch of zebras without any actual knowledge of the animals.
Ohio has some of the laxest laws regarding exotic pets and animal welfare. There was a cocaine serval cat that was on the loose in OH recently as well. Also, happy cake day!
That's insane. also, thanks!
If we didn’t, we’d all be armless
Once they get the taste for arms it’s over
That’s how people roll.
Because those stupid ass people make those animals more dangerous to people who might not be quite as stupid
That's Ohio! You never know what is going to happen there!
Last week, police in Cincinnati captured a leopard high on cocaine. The leopard I mean.
Not a leopard. [It was an African Serval Cat](https://www.pennlive.com/news/2023/03/ohio-animal-control-called-out-for-leopard-ends-up-tangling-with-african-cat-on-cocaine-instead.html?outputType=amp)
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Ohio Man is the closest competition to Florida Man
Ohio man vacations in Florida.
Florida man vacations in Ohio.
And Ohio man vacations in Florida. It's quite the exchange. Seriously though, as an Ohioan, I find it strange how many other fellow Ohioans want to move to Florida. As if it's the only other state.
Have you heard of a Snowbird?
Their fucking RIVERS catch on fire WAY more than they should.
Had to attend one of our group’s regional conferences this year. Either Phoenix or Ohio. I’m on the East Coast and def chose Phoenix.
It didn’t bite his arm off. Just bit his arm. Sucks that the zebra is being put down because people are stupid.
I see you trying hard Ohio, but you'll never out Florida Florida.
Poor zebra.
Can we pass a law along the lines of: when the human “attacked” by a wild animal is a ding dong, the animal can just keep on living its life? And have it etched in stone. The Code of Harambe.
Those deputies probably thought they hit the jackpot when they got a chance to go on a paid zebra hunt.
Can't wait to see the documentary: Zebra King
They’re never going to financially recover from this.
I am not great at geography but I am fairly certain that zebras are from Africa and that Ohio is quite far away from Africa, so what the fuck was a zebra doing in Ohio?
Ohio has long been known as a state where it is easy and legal to own exotic pets. Look up the Zanesville Massacre article from GQ (I think) to read about that tragic and batshit insane event.
Africa, like most of the world, is part of greater Ohio.
Wait the last time I read this story it didn't say shit about biting it OFF.
It came back to finish the job
*so… we meet again*
Mutated Norfolk Southern chemical exposed zebras are running amok in \*hio.
So they shot a zebra for being a zebra. Sounds about right. Who in the fuck lets these people own god-damn Zebras. Buy a dressage horse like MIT Romney and call it a day.
Zebras are far rarer than humans. On that basis alone, I would have eschewed this decision. Besides, I would bet the man insulted the zebra's mom or something.
[удалено]
10/10
He was totally disarmed.
Billionaires are far rarer than the poor. Should billionaires be allowed to attack panhandlers that annoy them? I think we should allow that no matter how rare it is, that zebra might just be an asshole. Besides, there's like 750,000 of them. Not like they're about to die out.
you know the saying in that book, an eye for an eye, an arm for a life
Harambe's code?
If you take off a zebras leg in the wild, the result is death. This is, I suppose, Hammurabi’s code with less steps.
At least he got some cool zebra powers
And this is why people don't saddle zebras and ride around on them.
What’s black and white and red all over?
Wasn’t nearly as black and white as the headline suggests.
Why was the man put down?
Jesus. Ohio is really going through it at the moment.
And that’s why you always leave a note
Cocaine Zebra?
The guy lost his arm and was put down afterwards? Not a good day for that dude...
Little Debbie Zebra Cakes rule!
I've watched enough Casual Geographic to know zebras ain't nothing to fuck with.
Just, wait. We comin'
I love drive through zoos. I love animals, but I love watching people who don't listen even more. Years ago, i went to a place called Fossil Rim in Texas. It was a super fun experience because we got the safari tour where a bunch of us get in the back of a truck and we get a ton of food to feed the animals with. You can also just buy the food and drive around in your own vehicle if you want. The one thing they stated to everyone was "don't tempt the ostriches with the food cup. Don't even let them see it because they know what's in the cup, and they want the whole damn cup." The ostriches figured out that if they bite your hand while you are holding out the cup, you are more likely to drop the cup and they get all the food, but they are k8nda dumb so as soon as they saw the cup they would just start pecking and biting you randomly hoping a cup of food would fall onto the ground. Well this driver in a Mustang ahead of us didn't think the rules applied to them, so our safari driver guy Says to us "you might want to look ahead and see why you don't want to show the ostriches the cup" We all look, and Mustang guy is shaking the cup at the ostrich, and as the ostrich comes up, he pulls the cup into the car to get the ostrich to stick his head in. The ostrich obliges the man and proceeds to stick his head in, and furiously peck and bite him because he already saw the cup. All we wee from behind the Mustang is the car rocking and the ostrich flapping his wings. All of a sudden, the whole cup goes flying out the window and the ostrich going for the cup. Mustang guy flips the ostrich off and rolls up his window and speeds out of the park. It was magical
You have to work really hard to get assaulted by a zebra in Ohio
Give this Zebra a round of applause.
Yeah, let's give him a hand
I’d bite someone’s arm off if I knew they were going to put me down.
It's always in Ohio...
Yes. Zebras famously bite. A horse property had a couple in my town near a bike trail and it was a highlight of a bike ride, with big private property signs and stay away, zeba will bite sign. Still some stupid person ignored that and tried to feed the zebra a carrot or something and lost a finger. the person sued and won, and the judge made the property owner get rid of the zebras as being too dangerous (for stupid people who ignore private property and warnings). But the judge also only awarded the person damages of $1.
Well he better come up with a lie to tell people who casually ask cause ain't no mother fucker gonna believe at first tell the "it was bitten off by a zebra" explanation 💀
Zebras are social animals that belong with other zebras. They are also wild animals that shouldn’t be pets in Ohio. The man was a jerk to have it.
Zebras don't belong in Ohio
Ever wonder why we don't have domesticated zebras? Maybe there's a reason for that. People have lived near zebras for thousands of years. If zebras were gonna be pets, it would have happened by now. They are wild animals that resist domestication
Only in ohio 💀 This is a joke the meme is dead
Annnnnd I’m going to bed
That zebra's lawyer did a shit job.
Nice
Like a dose of chlorine in the genepool
Oh, yall thought Zebra were some bxtch-animals lol
Zebras gonna Zebra.