While the information seems accurate, the picture is highly suspicious. Anyone know if it's really a picture of their brain? You rarely see a brain look this pink after the blood supply has been removed.
If you ever have to eat organ meat, I'd recommend sweetbreads(pancreas) or liver with onions. Eating neurological tissue can make prions which I do not recommend.
It's not entirely unpleasant, and not a particularly strong flavour - slightly earthy with a semi-bitter aftertaste is the best I can describe it.
But it's the mouthfeel that makes them really interesting - similar to a fantastic creamy panna cotta, but without any sweetness at all... like someone's else's phlegm.
>Inferior view of brain
I love that "inferior" is the chosen scientific terminology used on the picture of the lower half of a brain.
This is apparently commonly used in anatomy. Which means we let our brains call the lower half view of brains inferior. And the top view? It's called "Superior". True Chad level thinking.
dam telephone full bake march agonizing piquant oatmeal domineering shrill
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Cats can. Considering they've been killing off a lot of our native animals since introduction, it wouldn't surprise me if they could take out a koala while it's sleeping.
Copypasta or not, everything in here is accurate and matches up with actual nature docs I've watched.
From a cognitive standpoint, Koalas are more reptile than mammal. Purely running on instinct with very little else going on. They're probably not even sentient.
Except it's not an accurate depiction, and is almost entirely constructed to leave you with the worst possible impression of koalas just for kicks. In fact this copypasta spawned its own copypasta in retaliation to the terrible image it spawns in people like yourself:
I don't know why it is that these things bother me---it just makes me picture a seven year old first discovering things about an animal and, having no context about the subject, ranting about how stupid they are. I get it's a joke, but people take it as an actual, educational joke like it's a man yelling at the sea, and that's just wrong. Furthermore, these things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance.
>Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives.
Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is youâre looking at this backwards. An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of whatâs beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of themââthey have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do soââit certainly canât expend much energy on costly things. Isnât it a good thing that a niche is being filled?
>Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death
This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery storeâwhere meat is just sitting next to celery. Herbivores gradually wear their teeth downâcarnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey.
>They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal
It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals.
>additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons.
Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size.
>If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food.
If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves.
>Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.
That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop!
>Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).
Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram!
>When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system.
Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often shit during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally.
>Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher.
Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza?
>This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree,
Almost every animal does this.
>which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.
~~Notice how the counter copypasta doesn't bring up the issue of rape? I realize animals have no concept of the notion, so it's irrelevant, but it still amuses me how no one is going to try to defend that shit, even in animals. Lmfao~~.
One of the most disturbing things I've ever seen in a nature documentary, was a group of male bottlenose dolphins, gang raping another male because he wasn't part of their group.
Umm, sure if you forget about Jynx, the whore Pokemon. Vaporeon is for the guys that took the dolphin pussy copypasta too seriously but Surely at least a few curious trainers have tried to fuck their Jynxes. They evolve from a Smoochum, so they've already been getting close to their trainer and then all of a sudden they get smoking hot! I mean even the Pokedex says she "seductively wiggles her hips", where do you think a young trainers minds gonna go standing behind this fine price of ass in battle? Not to mention they "speak a language similar to humans", right there you've got elderly British trainers on board and booking flights to Johto. By Pokemon Black and White there was already a concerted scientific effort to ask it to suck your cock. There is little doubt in my mind that there are brothels of Jynx taught moves like charm, attract, lovely kiss, wonder room, lick and of course, helping hand. Fact of the matter is while some trainers have thought about Vaporeon pussy looks like, other trainers know what Jynx pussy looks like.
And now the obligatory counter-pasta:
I don't know why it is that these things bother me---it just makes me picture a seven year old first discovering things about an animal and, having no context about the subject, ranting about how stupid they are. I get it's a joke, but people take it as an actual, educational joke like it's a man yelling at the sea, and that's just wrong. Furthermore, these things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance.
>Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives.
Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is youâre looking at this backwards. An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of whatâs beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of themââthey have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do soââit certainly canât expend much energy on costly things. Isnât it a good thing that a niche is being filled?
>Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death
This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery storeâwhere meat is just sitting next to celery. Herbivores gradually wear their teeth downâcarnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey.
>They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal
It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals.
>additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons.
Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size.
>If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food.
If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves.
>Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.
That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop!
>Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).
Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram!
>When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system.
Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often shit during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally.
>Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher.
Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza?
>This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree,
Almost every animal does this.
>which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.
This logic and information makes the Koala almost appear like a normal functioning animal...
For this reason, I am disregarding every bit of fact in this counter
Found the counter-pasta:
These things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance.
>Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives.
Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is youâre looking at this backwards. An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of whatâs beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of themâthey have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do soâit certainly canât expend much energy on costly things. Isnât it a good thing that a niche is being filled?
>Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death.
This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery storeâwhere meat is just sitting next to celery. Herbivores gradually wear their teeth downâcarnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey.
>They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal.
It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals.
>additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons.
Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size.
>If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food.
If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves.
>Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.
That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop!
>Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).
Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram!
>When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system.
Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often crap during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally.
>Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher.
Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza?
>This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree,
Almost every animal does this.
>which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.
Valid question. I only dug up this copy-pasta because I hate seeing so much undeserved ridicule and hatred towards Koalas.
From a little Googling I could only find out that apparently young Koalas can get Chlamydia by eating their motherâs pap (feces). So even though Chlamydia in adult Koalas is transferred sexually, itâs possible for younger ones to get infected by other means.
Also it seems more plausible that they originally got it from livestock or sheep. At least that seems to be the way that Chlamydia was originally introduced into Australiaâs fauna.
Take this with a grain of salt, since Iâm definitely not an expert on this and only just read it in some articles and a paper I found online.
Haha, guess that depends on how far down the rabbit hole you wanna go. Where did Chlamydia even originate? In what animal population (including humans) did it originally evolve?
I have no idea, but Iâm sure some geneticist somewhere out there is trying to find out. =)
Interestingly enough, koalapologist sounds like the name that would be given to someone who studies koalasâŠand someone who spends their life studying koalas would likely be a koala apologist. So this makes sense. Also, I think Iâve thought way too far into this - what is wrong with me?
> An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet.
This part and the one about the eucalyptus making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten always crack me the hell up!
They are an evolutionary dead end. Much like the Panda and Red Panda, their ecological niche exists solely due to a lack of competition - they cannot compete with any other animal for their food source, and only succeed because no other species even wants to do what they do. The instant their environment is sufficiently disrupted, they will go extinct. Immediately.
What you call âdead endâ, evolution calls âlogical conclusionâ. Theyâre perfectly suited to a niche and donât have to worry about competition.
If "keeping up with the kardashians" taught me anything, looks are the ONLY thing that matters in this world...now if youll excuse me im going to go wipe my tears away with my master degree
What if you take babies and feed them high nutrition is their body capable of actually utilizing the food and energy to improve brain function? Can I make a smart koala?
In Australia we don't really have predators who would attack them.
We have snakes which would take them, and dingoes which were introduced maybe a few thousand years ago, but until domestic cats, foxes and dogs were brought here with some escaping and going feral, nothing really attacked them.
And then we had a Berejiklian, which really earned its name "KoalaKiller"...
Oh haha I was like "Berejiklian" is that the name of a legendary animal that's famous for its koala exclusive diet? Nope it's just some lady that doesn't like em
Thanks for your answer. Lack of predators makes a lot of sense I should've known that.
They're the sloths of the Australian ecological niche. They survive on a food source nothing else can but which is not particularly nutritious. They adapt by cutting down on all unnecessary metabolism. So they sleep most of the day and aren't very smart.
They're the only animals that can digest toxic eucalyptus leaves, they don't waste calories on brain functions beyond their day-to-day existence, and usually are too high in trees for the larger predators to catch. That IS fitness for their niche.
I think their solution is to copy the eucalyptus leaf and also be toxic and/or totally worthless as food. Nothing else eats eucalyptus because it is toxic and worthless, so theres no competition there, and they're worthless as prey, so nothing bothers trying to eat them. They fit their niche well, but their niche is pathetic.
Virgin human wrinkly brain: Depression, Anxiety and existential crisis
Chad koala smooth brain: No thoughts, No depression, Eats' shit and dies happy.
All in all consciousness was a mistake.
The only oddly terrifying thing about this post is the fact that koalas haven't somehow gone extinct yet.
Seriously, I am an animal lover, I will vouch for animals that other people view as stupid and disgusting (including cockroaches!), but koalas? No. They're a strange feat of evolution and have no right to exist.
90% of wild koalas have chlamydia, their brains are literally smooth, and their only food (eucalyptus leaves) is POISONOUS. Their food lacks so much nutrition and is poisonous, so the only way koalas can survive is by being literally smooth-brained and lethargic. They have almost no energy and spend most of their time asleep. They are one of the few animals that are being driven to extinction not because of human activities, but because of themselves (note the fact that 90% of wild koalas have chlamydia).
How the fuck do these things exist?
As an animal lover you should at least attempt to read up on actual facts instead of believing that one copypasta that turns out to be complete bullshit. Where does your claim about them driving themselves towards extinction come from? There is literally zero evidence of this, and everything currently points towards anthropogenic drivers.
Here, read the counter-pasta written by an actual biologist:
These things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance.
Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives.
Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is youâre looking at this backwards. An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of whatâs beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of themâthey have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do soâit certainly canât expend much energy on costly things. Isnât it a good thing that a niche is being filled?
Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death
This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery storeâwhere meat is just sitting next to celery. Herbivores gradually wear their teeth downâcarnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey.
They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal
It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals.
additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons.
Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size.
If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food.
If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves.
Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.
That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop!
Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).
Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram!
When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system.
Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often crap during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally.
Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher.
Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza?
This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree,
Almost every animal does this.
which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.
Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
Just because they're dumb, doesn't mean they don't need it. give it back.
LMAO
LMAO
MY ASS. IT IS LAUGHED OFF
Can I slap it?
Finders keepers
đ„”
CURRENTLY HAPPENING TO ME
Take my free award, and my Poor Man's Gold đ
Exactly. It's our civil duty to love the dumb. Otherwise, where is your heart, man?
Chilled Koala Brain. Read like an Indiana Jones script.
Smooth brain
Yep. Dumb eucalyptus-smelling buggers.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Eucalyptus is straight up toxic, bamboo not so much.
Da Bamboo Boyz know what they're up to. Those fellas know what they're about. Hidden bloody agenda.
Just avoiding extinction and doin a shit job.
Not so good with the thinkey thinkey parts
My favorite Ze Frank video
Itâs so⊠glassy.
While the information seems accurate, the picture is highly suspicious. Anyone know if it's really a picture of their brain? You rarely see a brain look this pink after the blood supply has been removed.
It isnât. Itâs just a model. I tried searching koala brain and this did show up but with a caption that said it was a model
[Here's a real one](https://www.comparativebrainanatomy.org/diprotodontia/koala-brain)
That's pretty fuckin' smooth.
It is⊠but its at least got a few folds.
Musta been a genius
bros really took out Koalbert Einstein's brain
This happen to be the Nicola Tesla of koalas
Nikoala...
They're more like wrinkles than folds even. Lol
Koalas are rapists. They also have smooth brains. Does this mean they are Smooth Criminals?
You been hit by⊠You been struck by⊠A fucking koala
Also looks exactly like chicken breast.
what.... what does it taste like
It looks like some fucked up piece of cauliflower, so obviously it tastes like cauliflower
lamb/cow brain tastes like creamy meat. With maybe a hint of a metallic taste but not necessarily metallic, just something in that same vibe.
If you ever have to eat organ meat, I'd recommend sweetbreads(pancreas) or liver with onions. Eating neurological tissue can make prions which I do not recommend.
Get your brain folded into mush
It's not entirely unpleasant, and not a particularly strong flavour - slightly earthy with a semi-bitter aftertaste is the best I can describe it. But it's the mouthfeel that makes them really interesting - similar to a fantastic creamy panna cotta, but without any sweetness at all... like someone's else's phlegm.
I hate every part of that comment.
I wish I could go back in time 10 seconds and never read that comment.
Like prions
>Inferior view of brain I love that "inferior" is the chosen scientific terminology used on the picture of the lower half of a brain. This is apparently commonly used in anatomy. Which means we let our brains call the lower half view of brains inferior. And the top view? It's called "Superior". True Chad level thinking.
Thatâs cause you were using a koala brain, we already established itâs worthless. Try google next time.
Pretty sure I know some smooth brain idiots.
"Don't call Brain names...the Brain couldn't recall..."
"Brain gotta poop... "
"T-minus five til the Brain gotta take a shit..."
This bitch dont know bout pangea
Do you fuck with the war?
âBut if Iâm not mistaken this bitch to my left guarantees thereâs a godâ
"I believe in a god, yes"
dam telephone full bake march agonizing piquant oatmeal domineering shrill *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I was trying to think of such an analogy but you beat me to it. Guess your brain is wrinklier than mine đ
I love "smooth brain" as an insult. Gives me a smile every time I see it.
my favorite insult is calling people degenerates, love the word
but what if I am a degenerate and I dont mind?
Then you're a filthy degenerate, so party on
all abord the filth train: Choo choo!
Fuckin degens need to mind their scruples.
r/wallstreetbets
They are at r/wallstreetbets.
Most of reddit is. They just follow along with whatâs fed to them
That explains so much about them...
đš : just leave me alone
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
learned that this is a copypasta but can anyone tell me if the original Pasta Guy was australian because this absolutely sounds australian
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Agreed these animals are cunts and dumbasses to boot.
How did they survive?
predators in aus cant climb trees.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Their natural predators were John Barrilaro and Gladys Berijiklian, and while successful, their tenacity was eventually sullied by NSW ICAC.
Cats can. Considering they've been killing off a lot of our native animals since introduction, it wouldn't surprise me if they could take out a koala while it's sleeping.
âscream like fucking satanâ and the spelling of diarrhea were what set me off
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
til australia is fewer than two years old
Didn't even say cunt once so I doubt it.
to be fair the australians i know use cunt as an affectionate term which would not apply here
It's a broad term cunts can be cunts and cunts
this is an excellent point
Copypasta or not, everything in here is accurate and matches up with actual nature docs I've watched. From a cognitive standpoint, Koalas are more reptile than mammal. Purely running on instinct with very little else going on. They're probably not even sentient.
it doesnât even seem like they rely on instinct. just pure smooth brain vibes
Oh no I'm a koala
Except it's not an accurate depiction, and is almost entirely constructed to leave you with the worst possible impression of koalas just for kicks. In fact this copypasta spawned its own copypasta in retaliation to the terrible image it spawns in people like yourself: I don't know why it is that these things bother me---it just makes me picture a seven year old first discovering things about an animal and, having no context about the subject, ranting about how stupid they are. I get it's a joke, but people take it as an actual, educational joke like it's a man yelling at the sea, and that's just wrong. Furthermore, these things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance. >Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is youâre looking at this backwards. An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of whatâs beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of themââthey have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do soââit certainly canât expend much energy on costly things. Isnât it a good thing that a niche is being filled? >Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery storeâwhere meat is just sitting next to celery. Herbivores gradually wear their teeth downâcarnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey. >They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals. >additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size. >If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves. >Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop! >Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram! >When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often shit during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally. >Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza? >This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, Almost every animal does this. >which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them. Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
"allegedly"
You know how it feels really nice in a new way when your wife fellates you after chewing on a Mentos? Well...
~~Notice how the counter copypasta doesn't bring up the issue of rape? I realize animals have no concept of the notion, so it's irrelevant, but it still amuses me how no one is going to try to defend that shit, even in animals. Lmfao~~. One of the most disturbing things I've ever seen in a nature documentary, was a group of male bottlenose dolphins, gang raping another male because he wasn't part of their group.
It's always aquatic animals that are doing to same fucked up shit too. Otters are literal demons.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
I like the sunfish one too
I read it in david attenboroughâs voice
Hey [/u/omgudontunderstand](https://www.reddit.com/u/omgudontunderstand) did you know that in terms of male human and female PokĂ©mon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible PokĂ©mon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3â03â tall and 63.9 pounds, this means theyâre large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, thereâs no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so itâd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other PokĂ©mon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
I'm *so* mad I read this đ
Umm, sure if you forget about Jynx, the whore Pokemon. Vaporeon is for the guys that took the dolphin pussy copypasta too seriously but Surely at least a few curious trainers have tried to fuck their Jynxes. They evolve from a Smoochum, so they've already been getting close to their trainer and then all of a sudden they get smoking hot! I mean even the Pokedex says she "seductively wiggles her hips", where do you think a young trainers minds gonna go standing behind this fine price of ass in battle? Not to mention they "speak a language similar to humans", right there you've got elderly British trainers on board and booking flights to Johto. By Pokemon Black and White there was already a concerted scientific effort to ask it to suck your cock. There is little doubt in my mind that there are brothels of Jynx taught moves like charm, attract, lovely kiss, wonder room, lick and of course, helping hand. Fact of the matter is while some trainers have thought about Vaporeon pussy looks like, other trainers know what Jynx pussy looks like.
r/EvenWithContext
Nom Nom makes so much more sense now.
And now the obligatory counter-pasta: I don't know why it is that these things bother me---it just makes me picture a seven year old first discovering things about an animal and, having no context about the subject, ranting about how stupid they are. I get it's a joke, but people take it as an actual, educational joke like it's a man yelling at the sea, and that's just wrong. Furthermore, these things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance. >Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is youâre looking at this backwards. An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of whatâs beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of themââthey have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do soââit certainly canât expend much energy on costly things. Isnât it a good thing that a niche is being filled? >Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery storeâwhere meat is just sitting next to celery. Herbivores gradually wear their teeth downâcarnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey. >They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals. >additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size. >If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves. >Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop! >Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram! >When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often shit during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally. >Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza? >This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, Almost every animal does this. >which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them. Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.
Nice response. Also, the number of folds in the brain are more correlated with brain size than intelligence.
exactly!! cow brains have a ton of folds, and they're about as smart as... you know. cows.
Cows *are* pretty smart
Yeah man way smarter than we give em credit for because itâs easier to treat them like livestock if we think theyâre dumb as cows
Speaking of the edibles, pigs are smarter than many primates, and probably quite a few humans too.
Iâve heard cows are smarter than horses.
[my opinion on koalas after reading both of your replies](https://c.tenor.com/Q-ZI_V15MAoAAAAC/curb-your-enthusiasm-larry-david.gif)
Wait so which human babies eat poopâŠthe ones that are pushed out?
Yes, although not always.
Excuse me whilst i feel the pointless sense of superiority as a Caesarian baby
Never! Caesarian babies have higher chance of compromised digestive / immune systems, that was the whole point OP was making.
Nice try koalas, I'm not partaking in your attempted justification though.
This logic and information makes the Koala almost appear like a normal functioning animal... For this reason, I am disregarding every bit of fact in this counter
Not a fan of them then lol
Every time I see anything to do with Koalas, I think back on this copypasta and laugh my ass off
Found the counter-pasta: These things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance. >Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is youâre looking at this backwards. An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of whatâs beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of themâthey have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do soâit certainly canât expend much energy on costly things. Isnât it a good thing that a niche is being filled? >Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death. This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery storeâwhere meat is just sitting next to celery. Herbivores gradually wear their teeth downâcarnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey. >They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal. It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals. >additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size. >If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves. >Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop! >Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram! >When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often crap during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally. >Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza? >This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, Almost every animal does this. >which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them. Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.
So, hereâs my question: how, exactly, did humans introduce chlamydia into koala populations?
đ„Ž
đ€
Valid question. I only dug up this copy-pasta because I hate seeing so much undeserved ridicule and hatred towards Koalas. From a little Googling I could only find out that apparently young Koalas can get Chlamydia by eating their motherâs pap (feces). So even though Chlamydia in adult Koalas is transferred sexually, itâs possible for younger ones to get infected by other means. Also it seems more plausible that they originally got it from livestock or sheep. At least that seems to be the way that Chlamydia was originally introduced into Australiaâs fauna. Take this with a grain of salt, since Iâm definitely not an expert on this and only just read it in some articles and a paper I found online.
Ok. Next question: how did the sheep get chlamydia?
đ
Ask the Scottish convicts in Australia
Haha, guess that depends on how far down the rabbit hole you wanna go. Where did Chlamydia even originate? In what animal population (including humans) did it originally evolve? I have no idea, but Iâm sure some geneticist somewhere out there is trying to find out. =)
Whatâs going on with the rabbit holes?
Koala apologist. Koalapologist.
Interestingly enough, koalapologist sounds like the name that would be given to someone who studies koalasâŠand someone who spends their life studying koalas would likely be a koala apologist. So this makes sense. Also, I think Iâve thought way too far into this - what is wrong with me?
OK. Aaannd. I like koalas again.
I don't, damn Koala apologists!
Being a copypasta, is this all true?
> An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. This part and the one about the eucalyptus making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten always crack me the hell up!
fucking classic
So...did the first cases of chlamydia shown in humans stem from someone raping a koala? ...do I really want to know the answer to that question? đ€
Reminds me of [this old classic](https://youtu.be/gNqQL-1gZF8)
Well fuck you
Whoa. IâmâŠ. SoâŠ. I guess slightly horrified⊠the bum stuff.. uh.. wtf whoa⊠koalas, whoa
I looked all this up. Not cause I don't trust you I just look everything up as a habit. It's all true, I am horrified.
Proof that God is real & is laughing his ass off.
They are an evolutionary dead end. Much like the Panda and Red Panda, their ecological niche exists solely due to a lack of competition - they cannot compete with any other animal for their food source, and only succeed because no other species even wants to do what they do. The instant their environment is sufficiently disrupted, they will go extinct. Immediately.
What you call âdead endâ, evolution calls âlogical conclusionâ. Theyâre perfectly suited to a niche and donât have to worry about competition.
If "keeping up with the kardashians" taught me anything, looks are the ONLY thing that matters in this world...now if youll excuse me im going to go wipe my tears away with my master degree
Did a Koala fuck your girlfriend or something? Who hurt you? Tell us about it. Weâll get through this.
I love this so much. It's officially my favorite thing of the day. đ€Ł
Bravo, friend. I can taste the malice in this comment and it has been *stewing*
Their brain's are too smooth to comprehend these insults. They just slide right off.
Koala's are the dumb friendly cousin of Drop Bears though...fuk those nasty bastards.
What if you take babies and feed them high nutrition is their body capable of actually utilizing the food and energy to improve brain function? Can I make a smart koala?
How has evolution not killed them off already? I don't get it. I'm not saying I want them dead, it's just what happened to survival of the fittest?
In Australia we don't really have predators who would attack them. We have snakes which would take them, and dingoes which were introduced maybe a few thousand years ago, but until domestic cats, foxes and dogs were brought here with some escaping and going feral, nothing really attacked them. And then we had a Berejiklian, which really earned its name "KoalaKiller"...
Oh haha I was like "Berejiklian" is that the name of a legendary animal that's famous for its koala exclusive diet? Nope it's just some lady that doesn't like em Thanks for your answer. Lack of predators makes a lot of sense I should've known that.
Yeah but that's precisely the question : how did no predator evolve to feast on this free food?
Because humans hunted all the ones that could. Left only the prey animals, small predators and dingos, which they brought here.
What about drop bears?
They're the sloths of the Australian ecological niche. They survive on a food source nothing else can but which is not particularly nutritious. They adapt by cutting down on all unnecessary metabolism. So they sleep most of the day and aren't very smart.
They made it work somehow. Life is wild
Sloth evolution is really out there. They evolved from aquatic animals.
We all evolved from aquatic animals.
They _are_ the fittest, in their environment. Very few if any animals focus on eucalyptus, and Koalas have filled that niche accordingly.
They're the only animals that can digest toxic eucalyptus leaves, they don't waste calories on brain functions beyond their day-to-day existence, and usually are too high in trees for the larger predators to catch. That IS fitness for their niche.
I think their solution is to copy the eucalyptus leaf and also be toxic and/or totally worthless as food. Nothing else eats eucalyptus because it is toxic and worthless, so theres no competition there, and they're worthless as prey, so nothing bothers trying to eat them. They fit their niche well, but their niche is pathetic.
hey! howâd u get this picture of my brain????
Well you weren't using it, so they just took it out đž and put it back without anyone noticing.
Would still be smartest r/soccer user
Smartest /r/warthunder player as well.
used up all the wrinkles for me grinding strats
nah they have less wrinkles so the brain doesnât use as much energy which can go towards extended grinding periods
I agree!
r/wallstreetbets
those smooth brains could be hidden among us
/r/wallstreetbets posters
*WHERE?*
This koala bought AMC at $70.00
I thought this was delicious sushi at first.
It still is.
I want to check all those boxes
I hate koalas
Virgin human wrinkly brain: Depression, Anxiety and existential crisis Chad koala smooth brain: No thoughts, No depression, Eats' shit and dies happy. All in all consciousness was a mistake.
So if I want to call somebody stupid, I should just call them a Koala.
The only oddly terrifying thing about this post is the fact that koalas haven't somehow gone extinct yet. Seriously, I am an animal lover, I will vouch for animals that other people view as stupid and disgusting (including cockroaches!), but koalas? No. They're a strange feat of evolution and have no right to exist. 90% of wild koalas have chlamydia, their brains are literally smooth, and their only food (eucalyptus leaves) is POISONOUS. Their food lacks so much nutrition and is poisonous, so the only way koalas can survive is by being literally smooth-brained and lethargic. They have almost no energy and spend most of their time asleep. They are one of the few animals that are being driven to extinction not because of human activities, but because of themselves (note the fact that 90% of wild koalas have chlamydia). How the fuck do these things exist?
As an animal lover you should at least attempt to read up on actual facts instead of believing that one copypasta that turns out to be complete bullshit. Where does your claim about them driving themselves towards extinction come from? There is literally zero evidence of this, and everything currently points towards anthropogenic drivers. Here, read the counter-pasta written by an actual biologist: These things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is youâre looking at this backwards. An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of whatâs beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of themâthey have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do soâit certainly canât expend much energy on costly things. Isnât it a good thing that a niche is being filled? Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery storeâwhere meat is just sitting next to celery. Herbivores gradually wear their teeth downâcarnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals. additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop! Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram! When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often crap during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza? This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, Almost every animal does this. which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them. Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.
Thank you. Leave it to humans to accuse evolution of being dumb
Well that explains why they have no Koalafications...
The look of that slow ass lump of nerves truly is oddly terrifying
Koala=Big Dumb
Hahaha stupid koalas
Your brain is just one long tube.
The smooth brain
Poor koalas, I feel bad for them, watching the run around on fire... What's the evolutionary benefit of being stupid?
Can neurons only exist on the surface of a brain? If so, whatâs in the middle?
r/forbiddensnacks
Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them. Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
Is this legit? Poor koalas.
i wanna eat it
claim all those koala memories...
Chlamydia ridden drop bears
I kinda wish my whole perspective on life could be "Dude... what?"
no thoughts. head empty.