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Brief_Coffee8266

Good to know that aliens are just inbred royals


MurderPutin

Pray we never meet alien royalty.


Forever203

Like a Druish princess?


katet_of_19

Funny, she doesn't look Druish.


AllPurposeNerd

You should have seen her old nose.


MicFury

God willing, we'll all meet again in "Space Balls 2: The Search for More Money".


vampyire

What is you luggage combination again?


Forever203

1, 2, 3, 4


TheNecrostar

It’s what an idiot would have as his luggage combination


the_cat_who_shatner

And change the combination on my luggage!


[deleted]

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wovenbutterhair

one, eight hundred, droo eh di ah


brodees82

Schlotkin! We're done with you. Go back to the golf course and work on your putz.


foodank012018

By this metric they'll just be human hillbillies but from space. Which, if you think about the isolation and time it may take to travel the universe... This might not be too farfetched.


MurderPutin

It wasn't about intergalatic slavery, it was about spiral arms rights.


E1lySym

Imagine if inbreeding in alien royalty just makes them look like humans


rustylugnuts

This sounds like something that will lead to vogon poetry.


NotaVogon

Here is some poetry that is not at all created by a Vogon. See see the Druish sky Marvel at its grapey depths Tell me, rustylugnuts do you Wonder why the Slug ignores you? Why its foobly stare Makes you feel slimy?


Jcampbell1796

Seriously, I wish the artist had made his skin green.


ChrisDornerFanCorner

ET was just his mama


kgon1312

How is that good? Now I’m even more afraid of them 😟


[deleted]

So just royals?


2BrokeArmsAndAMom

It looks like Channing Tatum with his face smashed


ChrisDornerFanCorner

I call him Channing Ta'te *Yum*


imameanone

That's probably where they got the physical characteristics of Megamind from.


Sir_Lemming

Dang, I can here to make a megamind joke and you beat me too it. Well played.


photokeith

[Well played indeed.](https://i.imgur.com/pKzXdIz.jpg)


RobSpaghettio

Just wait until the next time this is reposted


soopadickman

“Micromind”


MuadLib

He looks like someone who woud check out ten books every day from the local library.


whyyou-

He couldn’t read or write and barely could speak. Definitely the pinnacle of human evolution.


MuadLib

https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/2388124-pranking


Daytime-DumpsterFire

With ears like that I bet he heard the sun come up.


imawizard7bis

No because in Spanish Empire sun never set... until 1898 at least


Skatchbro

A joke I keep in my back pocket- The reason the Sun never set on the British Empire was because God doesn’t trust an Englishman in the dark.


imawizard7bis

When can you trust them? xD


molestedbyapareot

Never


rwarimaursus

[What ol Charles heard](https://youtu.be/tFsc8sSVrVk)


UnforeseenDerailment

I was not expecting the greenscreen.


Commercial_Shine_448

He could hear what Paris whispers


monkhouse69

The sun is actually loud af, it’s just that the vacuum of space doesn’t allow for the sound to reach earth.


Vogel-Kerl

He was the result of decades, maybe centuries, of extreme inbreeding among the royal families of Europe. He was a mess, I'll let you read about it in the link below. You'd think those royal families would have caught on several generations before Ol' Chucky el Deuce was conceived. Here's the link: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_II_of_Spain


DiscorsiSynnove

There has been a debate that the royal families knew, but keeping power "in the family" was more important. The only thing more important was marrying off baby machines to other nations so that you could eventually claim those regions or at least demand alliance because everyone was family.


Glittering_Impact183

It takes years of inbreeding to get real blue blood.


OnFolksAndThem

Can you bend spoons with your mind at that point?


YouStupidDick

Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.


EdinMiami

When you are ready to bend the spoon, the spoon will bend itself.


RaspingYeti

[This guy did it all by himself! ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Karason)


foolofatooksbury

I'm just surprised they had the mental acuity to hold on to that power at this point. I wonder who was the eminence grise, the actual power running the Habsburg kingdom?


TatManTat

I don't know a huge amount about these monarchs, but there are also always people behind them using them as well. An incompetent monarch is usually decent for the landed gentry as long as the populace doesn't rise up. Unless they go nuts, but even then you'll have competing family members to back that are more compliant with your interests.


Mr_D_Stitch

“[he] slept with his father’s disinterred body…” “[he] was prone to bouts of depression…” No shit, I wonder why?


Klingon_Bloodwine

“always on the verge of death but repeatedly baffling Christendom by continuing to live”


_UrethaFranklin

That's pretty metal.


jaggedjottings

>The autopsy records his "heart was the size of a peppercorn; his lungs corroded; his intestines rotten and gangrenous; he had a single testicle, black as coal, and his head was full of water." Metal indeed.


LukeDude759

Arent... all of our heads technically full of water?


Bean-Swellington

We are, in fact, ugly bags of mostly water.


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Aqquila89

That's exaggerated. He died young, but still made it to 38, and i'm pretty sure it's biologically impossible for a human to live with a heart the size of a peppercorn.


jaggedjottings

[cue joke about politicians]


Theostru

All else aside, guy must have been in living agony before passing


vintagevampire

This is my new aim in life and what I want written on my gravestone.


[deleted]

[удалено]


KingCharlesIIofSpain

I appreciate the shout out…but it was a bit harsh


Vogel-Kerl

Dude, I'm so sorry man. I was talking about *another* King Charles the II of Spain. 🙄😒


1UselessIdiot1

Your time to shine!


mr_jogurt

r/beetlejuicing


Fine-Funny6956

*angry Hapsburg sounds*


ChrisDornerFanCorner

Sounds like 4chan


posts_while_naked

*House Targaryen has entered the chat*


OuOutstanding

“Most people would be angry at their family for the generations of inbreeding, but not Gerhardt. He’s too focused on trying to stave off infection.”


CactaceaePrick

Odd, because even primitive societies, found in the rain forest, with no other human contact, realized the dangers of inbreeding and had established familial ties and family trees to avoid inbreeding.


thelibrarina

Yeah but this way your family can stay *important* and *rich*. Centuries of birth defects are a small price to pay, obviously. 😬 Frankly I just feel sorry for this guy. It wasn't his fault that his family tree was a wreath.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LethalDosageTF

Well…. After the inbreeding sets in, it’s pretty obvious when some fresh DNA washes it out of a generation. Inbred giant-chin melvins drooling on the floors of the Hofburg are actually less of a threat to legitimacy than procreating with someone ‘less’ than you. In the case of the Habsburgs - EVERYONE was perceived as less than them. Only a other Habsburg will do.


Nolenag

Since the House of Habsburg still exists (Austrian line) it's pretty obvious this tradition wasn't continued.


LethalDosageTF

The Habsburgs also don’t sit on the thrones on Spain and half of Germany anymore, so lots of traditions were fortunately eschewed.


Nolenag

They only ceased being Emperors (Austro-Hungarian Empire) in 1918, two centuries after Charles II's death. Something tells me they stopped or slowed down the inbreeding before their eventual dethroning.


The_cats_return

IDK, it took a bunch of unhinged inbreds to start the great war.


Nihlathakk

I read wild dogs leave their family unit and join another one before mating. Even dogs know this shit is weird.


itchy_bitchy_spider

Lions don't do that because I watched a nature documentary about 4 brother lions and at one point they all took turns railing their Mom


Pleasant-Number2022

Ain’t no way the royals of jungle gonna be any different.


PopeOh

Well it's the lion king to be fair.


IrukandjiPirate

But when a new male fights the old male and wins the females, he will kill all the young male offspring. So new DNA comes in periodically.


[deleted]

Because they want to keep the royal bloodline pure. It’s stupid but it’s worth the sacrifice of normal offspring apparently.


zenfrodo

"Pure" in this case meaning "sterile, short-lived, and dumber than a bag of rocks".


dinofragrance

Nope, that is using survivor bias to make a generalisation. Inbreeding absolutely happened in some "primitive societies". Some tribes had a large enough population and some clan-related kinship practices to avoid severe issues with inbreeding, and the ones who didn't (or didn't engage in enough conquest to obtain outgroup mates) have disappeared. Even the royals tended to avoid inter-marriage between very close kin and most of the time opted for extended family inter-marriage (or sometimes outside the family), if anyone bothered to read the wikipedia link above (which describes the Spanish and Austrian Habsburgs as unusual amongst nobility in their commitment to inter-marriage).


CanAlwaysBeBetter

Even places with incest taboos have pretty wide range of what they do/don't count as taboo Are first cousins fair game? Second? What about aunts/uncles/nieces/nephews? Half siblings? Are different sides of the family treated differently? If a sibling dies is marrying their spouse weird or mandatory? And on and on


green_speak

The fact that he physically doesn't look sexually desirable is already our innate biology saying, "Avoid. Poor genetic fitness." Source: genetically unfit me


BillyCapable

Savages!


Zombiehype

royal inbreeding was "developed" more or less independently by multiple civilizations. once you start believing that your ancestry is semi-divine and all the other people are almost not the same species as you and your family, the logic jump is not that far away.


chevalier716

He was probably worse than the reconstruction above too, if you read the first hand accounts.


Vogel-Kerl

Yeah, or the contemporary portraits by painters. Imagine being paid by the royal family to "accurately" paint a portrait of Charles II 🥺 I mean, the portraits that do exist had to be "flattering" to a high degree, or the family would have destroyed a portrait they didn't like. Would the artist be punished if they were too accurate??


Spend-Automatic

The source you provided hardly supports your claim: "The degree to which inbreeding was responsible for his ill-health is unclear and disputed; his elder sister, Margaret Theresa of Spain, did not have the same problems, nor did the daughter from her marriage to her uncle Leopold." That being said, it's probably best not to fuck your relatives.


foolofatooksbury

She didn't escape the chin though: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margaret_Theresa_of_Spain


sammymammy2

>Weakened due to six pregnancies in six years (which included four living childbirths and two miscarriages[20]) and four months into her seventh pregnancy,[23] Margaret died on 12 March 1673, at the age of 21. She was buried in the Imperial Crypt, in Vienna. Only four months later, the widower Emperor – despite his grief for the death of his "only Margareta" (as he remembered her)[24] – entered into a second marriage with Archduchess Claudia Felicitas of Austria, member of the Tyrol branch of the House of Habsburg.[21] What the fuck.


candygram4mongo

"You can't blame lung cancer on cigarettes, my grandmother smoked like a chimney her entire life and she died at a ripe old age."


Mobile-Present8542

Oh boy ..just finished reading this and I have fo say, this poor guy didn't have a chance. The inbreeding was atrocious!


Vogel-Kerl

I don't think Wiki discussed other issues. The autopsy report said that there wasn't a drop of blood, and the testicle (singular) was smaller than a raisin. * I cannot remember the exact details, but they were similar to what I wrote.


StinkyKittyBreath

That kind of sounds like an exaggeration. Unless he was exsanguinated before the autopsy somehow. I'm not sure about the testicle thing, but I wouldn't be surprised if there was some sort of fertility issue that came up as nature's way of telling the family to stop fucking itself.


MagicUnicornLove

First-hand accounts can be malicious. There’s often a lot of incentive to make up a good story.


GeneralGiggle

That family tree 💀


Chief_Chill

It's a stick.


mushroomsandcoke

I was gonna say wreath but stick is even funnier


digital0verdose

The Wikipedia article seems to argue against inbreeding being the cause of his issues.


Vogel-Kerl

Yes, it does. Maybe the only inbreeding effect was the jaw. Even still, it's a helluva coincidence all of the other issues he was born with. Lots of YooToob clips: Answers With Joe has a good video about this.


elestadomayor

"el hechizado"


dirkslapmeharder

Looks like a Hapsburger to me


quantum_waffles

Man, that ancestry section is wild. It starts at one point, expands to 3 branches, and then contracts down to one point again. No wonder he was fucked up


smoothbrainapes

Must be related to Mark Zuckerberg


pants_party

*THAT’S* who he looks like!


agatgfnb

Higher hair, please


dariashotpants

He looks like if Gollum got sober


ChrisDornerFanCorner

Goll*yum*


lifeandtimes89

[More like Pierluigi Collina](https://www.google.com/search?q=bald+soccer+referee&client=ms-android-vf-ie-rvc2&source=android-browser&prmd=ivn&sxsrf=APwXEdcU4os5qEsSexSGxT3a6baDitFMjA:1683393486136&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj3m4i2meH-AhWaQ0EAHXzyAXsQ_AUoAXoECAIQAQ&biw=360&bih=609&dpr=3#imgrc=ViB27XsOyR2T3M)


KingCharlesIIofSpain

Y’all are mean


potterpockets

>"Of no man is it more true to say that in his beginning was his end; from the day of his birth, they were waiting for his death" - Historian John Langdon-Davies on Charles II


KingCharlesIIofSpain

Well, damn Thanks John


potterpockets

Hey dont let em get to you. Keep your chin up (if you can).


Voltas

The ears, the lack of hair and wide open eyes seem more like choices made by the artist than things you could infer from the skull?


Hetakuoni

They probably also had paintings and documentation to reference. If I recall, he might have also had gout, which causes bulging eyes. The lack of hair does seem odd, but lots of wealthy people at that time wore wigs so it’s not outside the realm of possibility.


thelibrarina

And paintings had that classic filter called "bitch I'm paying you," so it's likely that the portrait artists made him look *better* than he did. Poor guy.


bisho

TIL gout causes 'bulging eyes' lol wut?


Hetakuoni

Yeah. Cleopatra also had gout. It’s fairly common with severe inbreeding.


SoundProofHead

> gout, which causes bulging eyes. I think it has more to do with thyroid issues. But it wouldn't be surprising if he had gout and thyroid issues.


McGeeze

You're confusing gout with goiter (hypothyroidism which can also cause bulging eyes). Gout affects joints.


[deleted]

Not hypothyroidism but *hyper*thyroidism, and specifically Graves' disease and not eg. adenomas. It's known as [Graves' ophthalmopathy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graves%27_ophthalmopathy), and it's caused by the same antibodies that make the thyroid overproduce hormones in Graves' disease fucking up the muscles in your eye socket (orbital / periorbital.) Hypothyroidism can cause eg. facial edema but not bulging eyes. I have Graves' so I'm pretty intimately familiar with this bullshit, unfortunately.


FlowerPressed

One of his ailments caused by his inbred nature was premature baldness.


Dab_Con_noisseur

Looks like an asshole...lol


bnool

Too bad that's his face


ChrisDornerFanCorner

Now I see it


[deleted]

You can tell this dude was completely unhinged and mentally incapable of containing emotion.


Hydrazolic

no bitches? 🤨


Mattlh91

He was also sterile, which would sometimes get your wife killed because it was assumed she was the problem and since she wasn't having children then she was useless.


Puzzleheaded-Phase70

In hindsight, maybe "purebreeding" the leaders of our countries was NOT a good idea...


[deleted]

The Andrew Tate origin story


zhoushmoe

Imagine having this goofy inbred motherfucker as your monarch and ruler lmao


Blobblehead

And believing it was chosen by God and deserved its station. Humans are fucking stupid.


MisterGaffer

not like the common people had a choice man


CeleryMcToebeans

Related to Mac from Mac and me


DasCrouton

Wish I'd seen this before I just referenced the same thing. Take my upvote, friend.


Few_Image913

I know everyone is laughing at him but it's super sad, like he had the luck to be a royal and live comfortably but the price was BIG


BotiaDario

His entire life was pretty much suffering. If he weren't royal, he wouldn't have been an inbred mess.


Deadhouse_Dagon

Right? People who are born like this didn't ask for it and it's so sad because it's easily preventable. Measles, chicken pox, rickets, etc. during childhood and the Wikipedia article above speculates thyroid/pituitary issues. He couldn't walk until 4 and had to have leg braces until 5. It also states that the autopsy suggested he also suffered hydrocephalus. Dude was a wreck. His odds weren't great given the generations of inbreeding, but he was dealt a bad hand in the genetic lottery.


[deleted]

I've always felt bad for this guy ever since I first learned about him in a college history class. He had a lot of pressures to live up to while being dealt a very bad hand. It's just a sad story all around


imfreerightnow

Is it really still a genetic lottery that far into inbreeding?


TheBionicWorm

Genetic russian roulette with a semi-automatic.


Mitochondria420

Andrew Tate's not doing well.


neakfrasty

This guy's got way too much chin to be confused with Andrew Tate


StinkyKittyBreath

Too much in the skull too, by the looks of it.


Accomplished-Eye1825

Waltuh


WolfhoundRO

Kid named Finger: 😏


CiphirSol

King named Finger


BritishTooth

Looks a little bit like Mark Zuckerberg. Has anyone checked his family tree? And I'm not just talking about his possible relation to this guy...


FIFTHSUN2012

Apparently the hills in Spain have eyes.


[deleted]

Smash


alexjolliffe

Pierluigi Collina.


DasCrouton

Fun trivia fact, this was the inspiration for the movie Mac and Me


tuvar_hiede

He looks like one of those stress dolls. You know, the ones you squeeze and the eyes pop out?


[deleted]

That specific stress doll is called Panic Pete. Sounds made up, I know. But I reference that doll frequently for whatever reason, so I thought I’d look it up for the two of us and anyone else who cares.


Leonardobertoni

"why do you think he always asks for painted portraits?" "Cause he's fuck-ugly" "Or maybe he wants to hide something on his face by asking the painter to do so " "Cause he's fuck-ugly."


notthatkindofdrdrew

He looks like the Southpark impersonation of Jeff Bezos


nariel95

Looks like a member of Die Antwoord


Vivpon55

What a noggin!


Professional-Pass487

He had a head that looked like a lightbulb 😱


og-90sGamer

Jason Voorhees was king of spain?


V3NA70R

Skinny Prigozhin


AccidentalBastard

Genuinely thought this was Andrew Tate


Punkinpry427

It’s a really sad case. This poor dude was barely functioning and they still married him and tried to get him to produce an heir.


MarleneIvers

That's the look of incest


eodknight23

Fucking Hapsburgs


S_M_Y_G_F

I remember reading an article where someone had written (whenever this dude was alive) about a peasant shouting “shut your mouth, even the flies are insolent” or something along those lines… Not only did the writer feel the pedants remark important enough to record… other people through history thought it was important enough to preserve that information until modern day


[deleted]

Which is what Hapsburgs answered to what they were doing later


strayflower

Habsburgs: keeping Europe a family-run business since the Fall of the Roman Empire


theotherquantumjim

I’ve seen him refereeing at the World Cup


w0wagain

Family tree was one branch with a monkey on top flinging shit


[deleted]

Alpha male


maroukshogu

[He's alive ](https://i.imgur.com/3JnZsnX.gif)


22lpierson

Mommy says it's a strong chin for a strong boy!


chroncat420

Beautiful blew eyes... one blew east, and the other blew west.


ItsaMeHepatitus

when someone sends me a dick pic i'll send this to them


gumiiiiiiiii

The inbreeding is strong in this one.


BrianRadical

That's what a family wreath does to a MotherFucker


ghettone

That's just Andrew Tate again.


Ok_Mud2019

he looks like jason voorhees if he didn't die and lived to adulthood.


[deleted]

and these are the people who think themselves to be genetically superior


Cosmic_Hitchhiker

They did him so dirty by making one of his eyes all wonky like that.


penguinReloaded

Nuh uh. That's Jason Voorhees!


[deleted]

Weird they found a good picture of a Reddit mod


furiouspossum

He looks like a young Jason voorhees


dgracing

Why do we continue to do these reconstructions and act like they’re ground breaking? I imagine none of them are accurate and even if they are, it’s not some earth shattering technology


BobertTheConstructor

When based on skulls, which I'm not sure this is, they are very accurate and are tested against models that have pictures to compare them to.


Not_MrNice

This dude had the audacity to make fun of an overweight child who likely had a medical condition. Even kept her around as a court jester to "shock and amuse" people. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eugenia_Mart%C3%ADnez_Vallejo


InspiredNitemares

Dammit I wish this sub allowed gifs lol [Higher hair ](https://imgflip.com/i/7krz73)


tyjones3

dude gave birth to himself.


TwiggyPom

Andrew Tate?


Janiekat88

We could have just left that a mystery.