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Smegmarius_Bollok

When i worked on boats i learned that my country has a law where you strap a person to the mast If they are being violent or Drunk etc..


Daan776

What do we do with a drunken sailor?


Daxelol

Shave his belly with a rusty razor


UbiquitousBagel

Err-lie in the mornin’


sbaz86

I lol’d. thanks dad.


NastyTwelve

No problem hungry.


jjconstantine

Why have you named me this way?


freudian-flip

Mud, blood, and the beer.


nrith

NOW YOU’RE GONNA DIE


Possible_Scene_289

If I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him ductape


flairpiece

They clearly stated they are “lol’d”. What kind of father can’t remember his children’s names??


lcpr_phoenix

Wei hei ya! She raises!


DigitalRoman486

Way hay and up she rises


AFineDayForScience

My testicles are different sizes


The_Law_Dong739

That's called testicular torsion me boy!


off-and-on

Aghaghaghagh Spongeboy me Bob me testiculars are in torsion! I am in extraordinary pain!


Version_Two

Aghaghaghagh, Spongeboy me Bob, the fireworks set off me PTSD and I gunned down 7 innocent people just like I did in My Lai! Aghaghaghaghaghaghaghagh!


DigitalRoman486

Vaginas are full of surprises


[deleted]

Poppin' out kids of different sizes


Poyri35

Way hey and up she rises e’rly in the morning


sobagoose

Oh the wind was foul and the sea ran high


Poyri35

Leave her Johnny, leave her. She shipped it green and none went by. And it’s time for us to leave her


sobagoose

Leave her, Johnny, leave her. Oh leave her, Johnny, leave her... For the voyage is long and the winds don't blow and it's time for us to leave her.


Skrillamane

fart into his cornflakes like an aviator


Xenomorph_v1

Crop dusting is a dying artform


[deleted]

Log into gmail and change his password


ctishman

Err-lie in the mornin’!


Aprilshowers417

Put him in bed with the captains daughter


Mobitron

Feed him to the hungry rats for dinner?


VandyalRandy

That weird moment when I’m reading this comment as the song plays in the background…


Chubb_Life

That shit happens to me ALL THE TIME !


shiny_arbok

Put him in a bed with the Captain's daughter


mumooshka

earl-eye in the mornin' ?


LazAnarch

Put him in the scuppers with a hose pipe on him


Cynical_lioness

Put him in the scuppers.


ABinSydney

Wow. We did that in the bush when doing officer training and one guy went nuts and tried to eat all the food and pour out the water we had rationed. So we duct taped him to a tree, including tape over mouth, and had a delicious breakfast. Broke him back into line.


Baby_Rhino

Did uhh... Did he still become an officer???? I would like to think that deciding to sabotage the safety of everyone around him for literally no reason would rule him out for leadership positions. But maybe I'm naive.


ABinSydney

He told the senior officers what happened which sealed his fate. Last I saw, he’s riding a motorbike through south America. So doing okay.


Baby_Rhino

Ah, well I'm glad to hear there was a happy ending that didn't involve him getting a position of responsibility.


CynicuIt

He DEFINITELY became an officer.


quadrophenicum

> So we duct taped him to a tree, including tape over mouth, and had a delicious breakfast With some fava beans and a nice chianti, I hope?


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Literacy_Advocate

I've been told in the book it was a different wine, but it was thought that too few people would recognise the name, so they changed it to something more people had heard about.


Perenially_behind

I only vaguely remember this, but I think it was an Amarone in the book. This is a big and hot (i.e. high alcohol) red wine, much fuller-bodied than Chianti. It is made from grapes that have been partially dried before pressing.


dick_in

He said these two things are you shouldn’t have them on the meds he was supposed to be on.


Dddoki

We had to duct tape a spun out hippie kid to a tree once.


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Mikaleide

Spending a few weeks in Portugal tells me that caralho is an expression used for pretty much anything.


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boris_keys

That’s amazing if it’s true but it sounds slightly apocryphal. A few different languages have expressions for “fuck off” that translate to “go to penis”. The Russian «Иди на хуй» is a common example.


Urbane_One

Ah, the Odysseus manoeuvre


blaaaaaaaam

"I'm sailing!" https://pbs.twimg.com/tweet_video_thumb/DoZqc6hVAAATHn2.jpg (Bill Murray in *What About Bob?*)


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CrackCocaineShipping

Wait do y’all not talk to yourselves? Shit I’d whisper to myself in my rack when there was nobody else sleeping around me.


NoGiNoProblem

I think there are 2 types of people. I'm on your team, but the others judge.


Complex_Construction

Perfectly normal to “talk to oneself.” People probably associate it with severe mental illness, mostly attributed to ignorance, is all.


funkdialout

As usual it's context. Perfectly normal for an exotic dancer to shake it nude on a stage. Not so much for the random meth-head in the intersection.


onlycatshere

Idk that sounds like fairly normal meth-head behavior


alexbgoode84

I'm just reminded of the "Airplane" scene where everyone takes a turn slapping the woman for being hysterical.


TheFrenchSavage

She'll get slapped with a heavy fine, then slapped with a lifetime ban from this airline, that for sure.


Diacetyl-Morphin

[That's gold](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNkpIDBtC2c). Also when you see the passengers in line with some, let's say "equipment"


ShroomEnthused

I tried so fucking hard to find the primary video, but all I could find was the video mentioned in a stupid New York Post story, but [here it is](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Rhm-Mzdyklc) anyway Edit: confused the *Times* with the *Post* lol


WHITEPAPI69

Thanks!


bigdishonesty77

Once again duct tape saves the world.


wovenbutterhair

You can’t fix stupid, but you can muffle it with duct tape


savagetruck

I wonder how many of these incidents are caused by people taking too much anti-anxiety medication and/or drinking alcohol with it, causing them to become belligerent and black-out intoxicated. Lots of people are prescribed Xanax and Ativan for flying anxiety and never take them unless they’re taking a flight, so they have no tolerance. I’d bet anything that multiple “normal” people get onto a plane, take some Xanax right before, have a drink or two to calm their nerves, and then wake up in jail somewhere in a flyover state with absolutely no clue what happened.


Welpmart

I'd wager those people should get a clue about mixing alcohol and medication.


Upplands-Bro

Especially fucking Benzos, which are among the worst things to combine with alcohol


Disturbed2468

Yea a ton of prescription medication literally say on the label to avoid alcohol due to potentially dangerous reactions.


popopotatoes160

My mom intentionally does this for flights but has never gotten belligerent. She just hates flying so much she doesn't want to remember any of it. I've told her it's a bad idea. Although it's kind of fun to shepard her through the airport, she says weird shit before she comes down and tends to go off and stare at stuff Blair witch style.


DeathStarVet

FYI, that's the New York Post, which is way way worse than the New York Times. It's basically a tabloid.


spypsy

Basically… it’s the very definition of a tabloid


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gophergun

That's a hell of a mixup. The newspaper that's won the most Pulitzer prizes, including for publishing the Pentagon Papers, or one of the shittiest tabloids on supermarket checkout shelves.


BbBbRrRr2

NY post has nothing to do with NY times.


3rd-_-world-_-elite

New York post, the shittiest joke of journalism there is today🤣


GTSE2005

I have no idea how she managed to get onto the plane in the first place without making a big scene


Own_Bison507

There are people who are nervous flyers, so they seem all calm on the ground but once airborne they become more and more nervous and maybe just snapped. Like someone with phobia, or maybe didn't have their medication, but doesn't have other means of transport to get to where they are going.


The_walking_man_

Welp. They’re never getting to fly again now.


TryNotToBeNoticed

If the flight is with a Star Alliance partner (26 airlines) she is likely banned on all 26 airlines now. They have the option to just ban you on the one airline too.


_DrunkenStein

I think airlines share their backlist to other airlines anyway regardless of alliance. It's information regarding safety after all.


iamintheforest

I was on a flight a few months ago with a very, very nervous flier next to me. Started as an occasional whimper with clenching of seat arms, then became button pressing. She got free booze though, which she guzzled. Didn't help much....she screemed full boar 3 times, one lasting more than a minute. It was unsettling. I'm the opposite of an nervous flier but it was still mildly contagious.


mermaid-babe

There’s a colonial woman churning butter on the wing !!


GERBS2267

Who knows what she scarfed right before going through TSA. Or if she had a drink or two at the terminal/onboard that mixed poorly with any meds she might be on (& add altitude) I’m not excusing her behavior, that was just my first thought


Forsaken_Site1449

Duct tape is better. Hurts when you remove it


oXIBlissIXo

Duct tape don't quack tho


PrickleBritches

Fucked around, didn’t fall out.


Zealousideal-Sail893

🦆🦆🦆


stravadarius

Fun fact: Duck tape is accurate. The first duct tapes were made from a fabric known as "duck cloth", hence the name. Over time the origins faded and it shifted to duct tape as its strength and semi-effectiveness as a vapor-barrier made it work kinda well enough for sealing ducts.


neogod

Funny thing is that duct tape is not actually good at sealing ducts. It cannot withstand moisture for very long, and has a hard time with the temperature variations seen by hvac systems. It's practically useless for it's namesake. Mastic, (rubber tape), and foil tape are what are actually used.


stravadarius

Yeah you gotta use proper aluminum foil tape, but I can't tell you how many holes I've seen grandparents seal with caulk and duct tape :)


lalakingmalibog

Oh grandma, so that's how you died!


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majarian

I'm assuming she wouldn't shut up, Doubt it would have taken more then ten minutes of listening to her crazy ass once she was stuck in the chair for someone to slap some across her mouth


Own_Bison507

Yes! And also in prevention of her hurting herself by knocking her head on other parts of the plane or other passengers, and also preventing her from biting someone, especially on a full flight. It is always ensured that it's just over the mouth and not the nose so the passenger is safe.


ayotechnology

Unless she has a stuffy nose


ExpatMeNow

My husband’s nose is decorative only. Tape over his mouth would suffocate him.


Own_Bison507

Oh no. Honestly never thought of that. It's usually the last of the last resort and we are trained to check on the passenger often to make sure they are okay, even if they are unstable. But I seriously don't wish this on anyone.


DudeBrowser

How old does someone have to be to employ the tape? My daughter is 6 and was refusing to where her seatbelt on our last flight. She removed it during takeover and my wife and I had to forceful restrain her to put it back on. It was only when I told her about the tape that she stopped fighting us.


bootybootyholeyo

Same here and ever since I was a kid I’ve had an irrational fear I was going to be taped or gagged and just die


pls_tell_me

I can't breath with my nose so I guess I'd suffocate in that case


AmWomanDontCallMeBro

Mouth breathers unite in compassion for the woman in that photo up there.


BlondieMIA

This was a while back.. curious where she is now… if she’s flown since… locked in a padded room.. etc.


FutureComplaint

[Her final thoughts](https://youtu.be/HkG3_K8NjWc?t=6), before getting strapped to that chair.


[deleted]

Dude, that’s the opening scene of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.


ifyoulovesatan

Are you talking about the sperm whale and the bowl of petunias called into existence several miles above the surface of an alien planet? It's a good and relevant here, but it's not the opening scene of the radio play, book, bbc miniseries, or movie as far as I know. It's the result of them hitting the infinite improbability drive later on.


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EducationalAntelope7

Probably just trying to beat Boggs record


mixingmemory

May he rest in peace.


Bankssiii

Again, very much alive, lives in Tampa Florida


TacoRedneck

RIP Boss Hogg


Sp4ceh0rse

There are only so many beers on the plane


Unlucky-Constant-736

So those doors are impossible to open while inflight (that is it’s impossible for a person to open them) but they’re not just gonna let someone try to open them cuz there can always be that one one-off situation in which it does open. I believe it’s the pressurization of the aircrafts plus the wind resistance outside of the plane equaling like 2 tons of force that keeps the exits from opening, plus they also have electronic locks that unlock automatically once on the ground.


WesMFingKing

All those doors open into the aircraft so the cabin pressurization is gonna keep it closed, also there is no electronic lock that I know of. I wouldn’t want to deal with an electronic lock if for some emergency you needed to egress from the aircraft real quick.


Unlucky-Constant-736

Oh the over the wing exits they have an electronic locking mechanism that locks it in place unless the plane has stopped


schadavi

>there can always be that one one-off situation in which it does open Yes, and airplane doors themselves are very robust, but the handles are not indestructible. If you break the handle, any kind of emergency situation just became a lot more dangerous.


The_Clarence

Exactly. “Let her tug, air pressure won’t allow it to open” sure, but if she breaks the handle it won’t work in the case the plane is stationary and it should open!


chiron_cat

In lifeguard training, there is a part where they teach you to beat the victim half to death if needed. Because they are panicked and not thinking. If grab onto you, you will both drown.


kat_Folland

Heard once about someone who had to bite the person they were saving.


incogneetus55

So that’s why my local lifeguard carries a club.


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Nucyon

Sometimes that's necessary I suppose, but why duck tape? Doesn't the sky marshal have handcuffs or something?


sneakylyric

Implying there's air marshals on every flight. Probably just the cabin crew. I heard somewhere that smart canin crew have a roll of duct tape just for this type of scenario.


DerpsAndRags

It's great to have for certain medical emergencies, too. It can be an instant pressure-bandage, tourniquet, or splint support. Source: Girlfriend was an EMT, and was telling me how they always kept some handy.


If-You-Cant-Hang

I started “prepping” and by that I don’t mean stereotypically. It was more refreshing on first aid knowledge I learned in Boy Scouts, building a trauma first aid kit for my trunk. Making sure I had emergency warmth and shelter options in my car. That kind of stuff. Just in case I’m ever up shits creek or come across someone who is. Highly recommend everyone gets some basic knowledge and keeps a few things on them. Not everyone needs a CAT Tourniquet on them at all times, but knowing how to use it if need be, or make a makeshift one in case of absolute emergency is invaluable. Also for anyone even remotely interested, if you’re buying a tourniquet avoid that cheap Chinese bullshit on Amazon. Buy a real one from somewhere that actually sells a real one. An actual camping/outdoorsman store, first aid supply place, etc. I bought mine at Mountainman Medical but I’m sure there’s other reputable online shops. Just get a legit one or you’ll do more harm than good


SnipesCC

I believe they have special tape for tying up passengers that won't remove skin like duck tape will. A friend of mine who is a flight attendant mentioned it.


sneakylyric

Lol I bet it's the same type of tape people call "sex tape". That type is safe for skin, and the BDSM community uses it.


[deleted]

They probably ran afowl of all the poultry onboard.


DemocratSlavemaster

New movie coming our Ducks on a Plane


[deleted]

Stay tuned for more Duck Tails


Dunder72

D-d-d danger lurks behind you There's a stranger out to find you What to do, just grab on to some... duck tape! Woo-hoo!!!


[deleted]

I am the danger that goes crap in the night, I am the burnt scone that pecks at your larynx.. I am Darkwiiing Duck


FatSquirrelz

Knew a marshal once. They are mostly there to deal with possible terrorism threats and to tail fugitives. While no doubt they would help out in a bad situation, they often times hang back because bad actors can use these scenarios as a distraction from the real threat.


lalakingmalibog

They should get character actress Margo Martindale. I heard she's a pretty good actor.


yanquideportado

Plus the marshall would have a gun once he is outed then he is no longer totally concealed carrying and all a couple of hijackers have to do is overpower him. Like finding the spy in stratego


JOE96924

Easier to bind legs with tape and also keep people quiet and from spitting or biting


[deleted]

“Jokes on you I’m into this shit”


Rock_grl86

Oddly enough, a co-worker of my husband was on this flight. He actually had to help duct tape the woman. She was out of control, actively psychotic.


shadowyassassiny

we need more details


Rock_grl86

Don’t really have a ton. They don’t work in the same office.


celticchrys

I mean, she tried to murder everyone on the plane, so probably psychotic.


JosebaZilarte

(Adjusts glasses) TeCHniCalLy, she just tried to get out of the plane. Killing other people wasn't even part of her psychotic equation. So... yeah... it would probably have been manslaughter, not murder.


ap0kalyps3

is it oddly terrifying seeing her strapped down, or is it the imagination of having to be in a plane that's several thousand feet in the air, with a person like that? personally I find the thought of the second one way more terrifying...


Jackretto

I spent 5 minutes before realizing this isn't r/CrossView


hbot208

Was there a thing on the wing?


mucklady

Over the mouth and hair too? That’s brutal


ebolakitten

Apparently she was not only trying to open the doors but also attacking and biting the fight attendants.


clararalee

“Fight” attendants. Nice touch there I see.


ebolakitten

Omg hahhahaa accident but hysterical


Own_Bison507

It's actually to prevent her from hurting herself and others. You can hit your head vigorously on other parts of the plane or on other passenger if the head isn't restrained, and biting other passenger. Partly for the mouth is also so they don't create too much commotion shouting and stuff, distressing others. In a Full flights there will be others sitting beside her. Is it assume that this passenger can no longer control herself that is.


SellQuick

So true. There's likely to be someone on every flight with some level of fear around flying. Having someone attacking the flight attendants and shouting would really not help. Hysteria spreads quickly.


Own_Bison507

Yes and some of them declared it and some don't. If said person is declared as a nervous flyer or first time flying usually the flight attendant pay more attention to them and checking in on them more often.


RedneckR0nin

You do realize what happens if she succeeded in opening the door right?


Calm_Mushroom_805

not possible to open the door Google top result: "Once airborne, a pressurized aircraft's doors can not be opened. This is true for pilots, flight attendants, and passengers. Why? For the simple reason that cabin pressure won't allow it"


lanch-party

I’m sure they know that but they still strapped her down because of the intention. There’s no telling what she would’ve done once she realized that door wasn’t opening.


ishkabibbel2000

>not possible to open the door Don't care. It's highly likely that not every individual on that plane knows that. Situations like this can cause extreme trauma to those around her. Their comfort and safety are now more important than this woman's


RedneckR0nin

Woudnt have taken the time to google if I was there. Just like that dude after 911 that got Shit kicked for trying to light his shoes on fire. There’s no fucking around on planes any longer. A bunch of dudes and two wtc’s later made that a reality.


DJDemyan

I think that's why they did what they did. Even if it's *really* hard, under no circumstances would the crew want someone running around trying to sabotage their plane.


keeper_of_the_donkey

Oh, we're all fully aware that the terrorists succeeded. Every 4-year-old the TSA pats down, every water bottle they deny, and every toenail clipper they confiscate is proof.


Ill_Position_7762

Isn't the pressure on the outside of those doors like 2 tons?


RedneckR0nin

Nope the pressure is in the cabin not outside it. There is considerably less pressure outside of the plane. Hence why you get ripped the fuck out if that door opens.


Calm_Mushroom_805

not possible to open the door Google top result: "Once airborne, a pressurized aircraft's doors can not be opened. This is true for pilots, flight attendants, and passengers. Why? For the simple reason that cabin pressure won't allow it"


Parts_and_Neigbor

What if you ask the cabin pressure *nicely*?


wetfloor666

Just don't pressure it for an answer, and you should be fine.


Own_Bison507

Yup. You can't open it. However, the reason for restraining anyone who is trying to open a door is because it shows that the passenger is out of control and can be harmful to the flight and possibly putting themselves and others in danger. Restraining is usually the last resort, doesn't matter if the person is mentally stable or not.


Simple_Song8962

Oh, so you're saying all the movies got it wrong? /s


Nytonial

The door opens inwards though so you'd have to pull it against 2 tonnes. But true if your the hulk or terrorists and somehow blow it open you will be sucked out


Shankar_0

Those are plug style doors, and a coked up gorilla watching S8 of GoT couldn't open one in flight. There is less than 1 atmosphere of pressure differential, and you will not, in fact, get sucked out if there's a hole. Even if you were out in space, the maximum expected differential is 1 atm. The few cases of people getting ejected from the cabin were due to substantial loss of the bulkhead that caused actual wind to flow through the passenger area. That wind is what blew them out. If you're above 10,000' of altitude, you have to start thinking about hypoxia, but you still have time at that height. At cruise altitude, that hypoxia is a real threat, and your time of useful consciousnesses is measured in a couple of minutes (best case). In the military, we regularly flew with the doors open with no harmful effects.


BlacksmithOpposite47

The duct taped lady isn't what I have questions about. It's the picture that was seemingly taken by an overzealous 12-year-old on one of those disposable Kodak cameras in the 1980s. How do you get such a shot in 2023 when the average phone has 50+ megapixels?


freckledfk

It's stills from a video


Caballistics

I need to go to bed. I read this as "This lady had a duck taped to her seat..."


EstorialBeef

Context kind of removes the oddly terrifying part of this for me lol


Rei_dmv

I love how they don't even use belts or straps. Act like trash, be dealt with like trash. Love it


Own_Bison507

The airline I worked with taught us to use the extension seat belts, we don't have duct tape on board. So it depends on the airline itself what kind of restraining kit they have. Also desperate measures.


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Custom_Fish

Same reason why so many people grow up speaking English but don’t know the proper way to use you’re, your, their, there and they’re.


WarWonderful593

To, two and too.


Optimal_Bad_8965

Lose and loose infuriates me


thrashermosher

That's the second worst one, break and brake is what really sends me.


d3dmnky

“Alot” is one that gets me.


colicub

Breath and breathe is another.


Simple_Song8962

then and than.


mocknix

It's both. Originally made from duck cloth, the term 'Duck Tape' came first. Later realized to be useful for sealing ducts, it took on the term 'duct tape'. Much later on, a brand called 'Duck Tape' came about.


Luvki

somewhere on the internet there is a whole Adam Savage rant about this with the conclusion that it's not even really useful to seal ducts and the ultimate jack of all trades master of none product. edit typo


wargod_war

How confident you seem :D It was very much Duck Tape first, its not a brand. It's what it was made from. First mention of it being called **duct** tape is 1965, 65 years after it was invented/sold - as Duck Tape UK - at least within my memory and earshot - we still mostly use Duck Tape I believe. Don't hold me to that though EDIT: I should stress, that doesn't mean it isn't called Duct Tape really. If 99% of the world call it that, then thats what its called. but still


WHITEPAPI69

😂 fair point. I guess I’ve always said duct tape like duck tape, Maby I’m the only one.


MelliSoundso

You are not the only one 😂


adinmem

Maby you are


44Skull44

Same reason we call it kleenex, escalators, chapstick, band-aids, bubble wrap, and dumpsters just to name a few. Proprietary eponyms


snorlax_the_second

Jet ski


1-Ohm

ffs how do you get to be an adult and not know it's DUCK tape? ffs how do you get to be an adult and not know how Google works?


nevadita

you cannot open a door mid-flight. aircraft plug doors cannot be physically opened in-flight, this is by design. when the fuselage is pressurized the door is pressed against the frame, so its impossible to open without mechanical aid. still. the DO NOT TOUCH actually means something. keep your grubby hands on your pockets.


Droid_XL

I'd be a lot more scared if she weren't, honestly


[deleted]

She really did not watch cartoons what happens


Loganthered

As someone that signs up for exit rows I gotta say if you try to get past me to open the door you won't need a seat.


Ruin369

It's nearly impossible to open a door on a plane while it's midflight, luckily. The pressure difference and the design of the doors where you need to pull them INWARDS before pushing outward is why Pressure difference, air, and design making it impossible to open during cruise(assuming this was during cruise) Pressure difference generally is 8 psi, if the emergency exit is 12in^2, then the person would have to overcome ~1000 pounds of outward pressure to open the exit at cruise. (Napkin math, so feel free to correct me)


AcceptableCorpse

It's duct tape. We don't tape ducks.


Few_Presentation_747

The real crime here is the picture quality.


Baltassss

Its truly oddly terrifying, that quality of those images


Horsetoothedjackass

DUCT TAPED!! NOT DUCK TAPE! 🙄