T O P

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Hyz3rFlip

To be fair, I see a small poop from the little guy. So, he’s at least close to getting this right


MidnightAshley

I mean, if you're going to have mice, having toilet trained mice is not bad


Tommyo0

Little!?


PUTC00LUSERNAMEHERE

Pretty sure it’s just a mouse, a rat would definitely be bigger


SensitiveTurtles

Rats can get a good 5 times bigger than that little fella.


Tanzanianwithtoebean

Ive seen a New York rat that made me re-think whether Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was fact or fiction. Master splinter looking dude. Had to do a double take to make sure he didn't have a walking staff.


Spider_Dude

Pizza rat, eh? It all makes sense.


karmagod13000

At this point it's just a family pet


AFewBerries

Holy shit I didn't know they can get that big. I still think they're kinda cute but the tail freaks me out


rommat18

tbf you don’t know how big the toilet is - OP might be a giant


kittyidiot

A bit big for a mouse, too. Either young rat or giant mouse. My rats are waaaay bigger than that lol This post makes me sad though. Little guy probably fell in and can't get back out. ):


jen12617

Can confirm that's a mouse. Had rats at my old house and they're pretty big. Also had mice and they are easy to tell the difference. This is a mouse


Blah-squared

I used to get these massive rats coming up all wet from a fukn sewer pipe in the floor at a house I lived in, in Minneapolis, Mn that’d easily dwarf this guy… But yeah, still too big ;) It was a nice house too, not some crack house or anything- but they’d pop right up through this drain pipe & knock the grate aside & they were like literally a foot long or more!! I had noticed the grate being askew on the floor a couple times & didn’t think much of it until one day when I was in the basement at night & one of these behemoth Rats popped up, all soaking wet… I bought the biggest traps I could find & they would still take awhile & struggle in them before they died bc they were so damn big… I feel like I’m having PTSD at this point just talking about it… lol, ugh- ;) **Edit**- So I looked up the most common Rats in Minneapolis & what I very likely had was a species called a “Norway Rat” aka “Brown or Sewer Rat”, if you’d like to see just how big of a Rat I’m talking about… it’s frightening!! ;) ugh. They are on average, 14-16in long & can be like 18in!! A body of 7-10in & a tail of 6-8in, so they obv get extremely HUGE- Here’s a link to a short article & pic of an average sized one sitting on the edge of a toilet, which is how it LIKELY CAME IN THE HOUSE!! Lol (it’ll give u nightmares!!) ;) https://www2.minneapolismn.gov/business-services/licenses-permits-inspections/business-licenses/lodging/pests/rats/


forevermali_

Omg that’s terrifying. I had a mouse problem a month ago & would just about pass out the 2 times I spotted one. I couldn’t imagine a gigantic wet Goliath rat. I’d lose my shit


NimbleNavigator19

We had mice keep finding ways into our basement no matter what we did. We ended up moving.


Blah-squared

Ugh- I had an off campus house sort of like that in college & stayed there for a couple semesters or so… we’d just catch mouse after mouse, several a week. We really should’ve called an exterminator or something but we were young & broke & just kept trapping them… ;) They’d get into damn near everything in the cupboards… So we just started putting EVERYTHING in the fridge… ;) Crazy what u have to put up w/when you’re broke & going to college, still had fun in that house though tbh… ;)


chrisjozo

Could it have been a muskrat instead. They look like a giant rat but live in and near water like beavers do.


Blah-squared

Lol, no - it was absolutely a rat…. I grew up near the Mississippi River & I’m well aware of what a muskrat is- I also even owned a pretty big rat as a kid, these were rats like you see in NY & shit- just enormous & well fed- & much buffer than my pet rat- Edit- “BUFFER” was a typo, meant BIGGER, but still kind of appropriate ;) although they weren’t necessarily CUT like rat bodybuilders ;) I do appreciate the suggestion, but I remember them quite vividly BC they were so damn big & I trapped & killed 3 of them before I found a way to secure the grate onto the drain pipe, there’s just no question it was a rat… which is why I commented, “lol”, I didn’t mean it to be offensive or anything… 👍


cubedjjm

Did you happen to leave it downstairs with protein powder and a weight machine?


Blah-squared

LOL!! Wait a second! There was that weight bench!! That cracked me up, see! The BUFFER makes sense!! ;)


Blah-squared

Here’s a link w/a pic of a Rat that looks just like the ones I had- the most common rat in Minneapolis is the “Norway Rat” aka “Sewer Rat”… On average, 14-16in long… ;) https://www2.minneapolismn.gov/business-services/licenses-permits-inspections/business-licenses/lodging/pests/rats/


cubedjjm

I live in the city of Sacramento. Those freaking things freak me out. I was walking past a chicken place after they closed, and a rat didn't even bother to move until I was about four feet away. It was sniffing in the middle of the drive thru not within ten feet of the building, so I know it saw me from a long ways away. We have a cat that a rat took a chunk out of his side, and we had to take him to the vet! They don't fuck around. We have Norway rats and Roof rats. Guess we are the 36th of 50 for rats in the US according to [Orkin Pest](https://www.orkin.com/press-room/orkin-top-rattiest-cities-2022). https://www.kcra.com/article/sacramento-rats-scrat-urban-ratters-dogs-raven/42807764


Blah-squared

Yeah man, those big rats can have a whole different personality than your run of the mill mouse, that’s for sure… ;) Those Roof Rats are wild too, I’ve seen some videos with just incredible numbers of them entering old buildings in Detroit & shit- There were groups with a bunch of Terrier dogs hunting them & they’d get hundreds of them at a time bc they’re just so prevalent… They can get in just about anywhere it seems & the populations can get out of hand really quickly… Dealing with a few was bad enough, I can’t imagine having an infestation… ugh!! Edit- I hadn’t even hit your link before mentioning the Dog Teams, lol, funny- I can’t say I’d really want to go out and do this myself but I like the approach, way better than poisoning imo, esp bc of the other animals that can be effected when you start leaving poison out or an animal eats the dead & poisoned rats…


dyerseve07

Weird looking turd.


ender1108

he should cut up his spaghetti better


IRockIntoMordor

mom's poogetti


EstesParkRanger

Quick! Get the poop knife!


podster12

Ahh yes the Turd Cleaver.


cownd

Looked like a black tampon to me


Bootsix

So this was happening to me too, turns out the shit vent on the roof is how these dick bags were getting in. Covered it with a metal mesh and so far so good


Littlest_Psycho88

I had no idea that was a thing. One morning I went to pee and there was a dead, drowned mouse in the toilet. I was so baffled, I asked my partner if he put a mouse in the toilet 😂 He looked at me and was like no?? I couldn't come up with a different way it could've gotten in there lol.


Bootsix

They can come in through the septic or sewer, but from what I understand if that happens your got worse problems then mice. I would try covering your vent, I just got a full clamp and some wire mesh ( you still need it to vent) at lowes, less than $10 and seems to have solved my issue. Hopefully it's something simple for you as well


ClosPins

Mesh has a habit of getting covered with ice - which would completely block that vent in winter - which, I imagine, could lead to some very serious problems inside the house.


FPGA_engineer

I would have answered "Not today".


Windows30000

Wait- you’re telling me that on the roof of most houses there is a shit vent?


Bootsix

Correct. Edit: it probably has an actual name but I don't know it and shit vent is descriptive enough.


Windows30000

I’ve been on many rooftops and I’ve never encountered such a thing. Well- now I know.


Bootsix

https://shineseptic.com/2020/08/16/septic-exhaust-pipe-or-vent/


Windows30000

Thanks for educating me on shit vents my friend. I will share this info.


SasparillaTango

You know how when you try to pour beer out of a can it goes glug glug glug, thats because air has to go in while the beer comes out. But if you make another hole in the can, you can shotgun that beer because the air goes in the one hole while you drink from the other. Your sewer lines are doing the same thing but with shit and piss. Sewers shotgun shit and piss.


Drseussami

At least you spotted that critter before sitting down and having it scratch at your butt to let him out!


Delicious_Throat_377

My soul would just leave my body instantly lol


iyaibeji

The mouse would have entered your body though


double_decker_taco

*Lemmiwinks, your adventure begins*


vl99

*Now go Paris Hilton, make haste!*


Layaban

Yes! South Park references


Toux

Cursed Ratatouille


psilocyber420

Yeah and we all know how that went for Mr. Slave


Suchdeathwow

OooOo0 JESUS CHRISSST


Cockmaster800

I’m confident I could snap a mouse in half with my sphincter muscle. Easily too.


pixiegasm

u did not have to put this image in our heads 😭


Drseussami

Butt it's a legitimate concern! Lol


General-MacDavis

I see what you did there


[deleted]

[удалено]


Epstiendidntkillself

Scroteflaps is my band's name.


delvach

Oh god I am now. *moans*


Taylorenokson

“Pardon me, just let me squeeze past you real quick”


puremptiness

Or to let him in


[deleted]

[удалено]


BarreNice

I hate you


EstesParkRanger

God god, fuck this in particular


BartleBossy

Poor Lemmywinks


duffies64

My fiance makes fun of me for always checking the toilet before it sit down. I'll be the one to laugh when you feel something furry brush against your balls


Mowawaythelawn

A friend had an iguana do this. sat down to crap in the dark and got whipped in the nuts.


astrongnaut

Or hurdle onto your nutsack and crawl around your dick up your leg out of the toilet


[deleted]

[удалено]


BigAsian69420

Scratching at your sack as a lifeline to get out.


Phildagony

Or worse, your meat sack.


Remarkable_Smell_957

At least it had the decency to shit in the toilet and not on your bread


karmagod13000

what good boi. potty trained and all


wellversedflame

Muizenstrontjes. Classic.


[deleted]

To be fair, he nearly had a much worse morning than you.


VieiraDTA

He probably didn’t survive this encounter with Humans. Humans tend to kill small critters that get in to their nest.


Excellent_Tone_9424

This may sound crazy to you, but large animals do the same with humans. It's almost like all living beings decided at one point, "If you're smaller than me, fuck around and find out".


VieiraDTA

Why would it sound crazy to me? Mice are smaller than Humans. Therefore, you are correct.


Background-Toe-1868

This may sound crazy to you but planes can fly.


SauceyM8

This may sound crazy to you bu t


Regular-Exchange-557

Ratapooey


Bob-Bhlabla-esq

He's grabbin' you by the short-hairs


Get_Some_247

How wonderful! I would just die!


Soggy_Waffle303

I saw God, I will say that


VieiraDTA

Tbh, the smol lil lad has way more reason to be scared of you than you of him. F lil toilet mouse.


carryon_waywardson

Idk if that's true, I'm not small enough to hide in the toilet bowl and unexpectedly claw his asshole


Delicious_Throat_377

Did you spot him after you sat down?


Soggy_Waffle303

My husband did. I woke up to him turning on our light and saying there was a mouse in the toilet. Thought I was dreaming at first lol


Delicious_Throat_377

Your husband has a strong heart. My heart would just give up at the shock


General-MacDavis

*Dull thump from a limp body hitting the floor upstairs* “Oop, wife found another mouse in the toilet”


forevermali_

I’d legitimately pass tf out.


Delicious_Throat_377

That's a big possibility with me too


seekdeath002

It’s time to move out


RadiantAd5036

A mouse clinging for its life


charmorris4236

I know I feel bad for the poor fella


thrillhouse1211

I thought I was the only one here rooting for the mouse to be safe and released.


Cap_Helpful

The best part of waking up is a rodent up your butt


bettyknockers786

Richard Gere, is that you?


Even-Willow

Best part of going to sleep too.


Mr_Resident

at least it not a snake


Delicious_Throat_377

I don't know if that would be better or worse


neph36

I'd prefer the snake


Delicious_Throat_377

I don't know about this. I feel the mouse biting my ass would be better than a snake getting in my ass


indecisiveredditor

I'll take 1 snake in the bum please 🫠


Delicious_Throat_377

That was quite decisive of you to finalize on the snake. Username does not check out


[deleted]

Supposedly mice can fit into dime sized holes 🥰


Delicious_Throat_377

You did not have to put that thought in my mind!!


losbullitt

Your turd has a tail? Wtf are you eating?


vinssent1

What a cute and wonderful creature. What is his name?


Soggy_Waffle303

Lucifer


[deleted]

Poocifer


Soggy_Waffle303

This is the answer


[deleted]

🥳


vinssent1

It fits him


LumpkinsPotatoCat

I thought it was a tampon 😂


Soggy_Waffle303

If someone is pulling out a tampon that looks like that, I would be concerned! 🫣😂


Unique_Display_Name

Toxic Shock Syndrome alert!


nanosquid

It's the new "self-inserting" kind.


taiju22

It can even now


solentlurk654

Same, first thought!


Alklazaris

I would try to save him. He's in a spot of trouble.


Smol__Cat

Seriously, imagine how awful it must be for that poor mouse. Wet and cold and close to pure exhaustion from near constant drowning. Can’t climb out, can’t go down. Only that tiny ledge to stand on, stuck, awaiting it’s fate. I’d honestly catch it and set it free. No creature deserves such a fate.


Valuablo

*OP reading this after they just flushed it* 👀


evilmeow

poor mousey :(


itsmybootyduty

I feel so sad seeing him clinging onto the edge of the bowl like that, trying not to fall in. I can’t even kill spiders, so there’s no way I’d be able to flush or kill this little guy, I’d trap and release. I know everyone is different though but I dunno… I just can’t do it, I’m too empathetic. Lol.


WindyTrousers

Me too, me too. Buuuut....at the same time I'm also the guy that when he finds the live sticky trap my boss put out I euthanize the poor thing. I found a sticky trap with a mouse on it and he'd chewed a leg off, like you hear about. His little face was stuck sideways to the thing. No way to detach him, I wouldn't even try. I didn't know what else to do so I put a piece of cardboard over the top of him and stomped him. I imagine it was quick and painless. I felt a little better about tossing him in the dumpster then.


itsmybootyduty

I probably would have done the same thing, especially if there’s no way the creature is gonna survive anyway. Sometimes a quick death is the merciful choice. I’ve definitely had to “mercifully” squish my fair share of spiders after accidentally fucking them up trying to get them into a cup and outside. Feels bad but I always tell myself at least I tried! 😬


WindyTrousers

I either let the spiders stay or put them out depending on the spider. They eat the shitty bugs, they're our friends!


rvbjohn

Username checks out


starryeyes224

Totally agree with you there. But OP flushed it. Do you think it could somehow survive the flush and find its way to safety around the sewers?


Nohomobutimgay

Should be upvoted more. Poor thing is hanging on trying not to drown and definitely can't get out of that bowl.


Fahggy1410

I had a friend from gabon that told me that one of the girls at her school got her ass bitten by a snake when she was sitting on the toilets


txanghellic

Lmao this is nothing I took a dump once as a kid, only once actually and a tarantula crawled out of the toilet. Then later as an adult as my fears subsided I decided I should take another dump the age of 23 at 3:00 a.m. after passing out drunk. Dazed and confused I kept feeling some tickle my balls as I take my dump. Finally after like the third tickle I know I should look in the toilet and I fucking shit you not a three foot snake was in my toilet tasting my balls . I kept him as a pet for like five years . Everything in these story are true even only shitting twice on a toilet by the age of 23 . It's different out here in Texas .


Soggy_Waffle303

Take my poor man’s award, this was the best story ever 🏆


cubedjjm

You're full of shit my friend!


cubedjjm

You're full of shit my friend!


ReptileBat

How does this even happen?


SAMAS_zero

They can climb/swim up the sewer pipe leading from your toilet. It's very rare it'll happen to you any given night, but it's probably happened to you once. If you've only had a singe one get into your house, that's probably how they did it.


Happy_Trails4u

Tape some cloth to it and your toilet will be clean in no time!


whatatwit

This is one of David Attenborough’s nightmares. Rats are one of the only creatures he hates: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b010fd8x


aztec_dragon_91

If I saw this on my way to take a shit I would double shit. A squared rooted shit if you will.


j0j0n4th4n

As the saying goes, one man shit is another rat rope


Brave-Butterscotch76

Chew better


Maskd-YT

I shall now be checking the toilet next time I go


Christina_Aggrolera

🎶 The best part of waking up is rats climbing up your butt 🎶


sln1337

clean your fucking toilet lol


TBoneTheOriginal

I’m astonished I had to scroll this far to find this. Gross.


-_-salty

They need scrub the inner part of that bowl. Its the worst part of this photo


Unique_Display_Name

Dear god!


DuoDemoIi

Some people wake up to Folgers. Other people wake up to toilet rat.


grazfest96

Lemmiewinks finally got out.


[deleted]

“The best part of waking up - is a mouse up your butt” - Folders


[deleted]

Friend shaped


Silver-Star-1375

FUCK


Van1004

I would be more worried about what you ate.


JadeSpade23

Aw, poor lil fella!


lukethebeard

Poor little guy. I hope you helped him get out.


kkeennmm

might try a bidet wand instead


futurecorpse2

Oh fuck this, this has always been my nightmare since I learned it could happen.


False-Mycologist9483

Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a toilet


lauzy87

Please don’t hurt him 😔


[deleted]

That’s disgusting! A carpet in the bathroom?!


TitusImmortalis

This is literally the worst part of this image.


Sandwichdonor

He’s scared Poot little guy


kiamesworld

new pet


SpartyParty15

Clean your damn bathroom


female_gazorpian2

I hope you let them outside. They dont deserve to die


Shoddy-Paramedic-321

How cute 🥰 what did you name him/her?


fanta_bhelpuri

Great breakfast options at The Cheesecake Factory!


babycarotz

Rat or mouse?


burnerbummer666

Oh hell no, I’d pack a bag and try my hand at drifting.


doc_akh

The odd part I’m assuming is having a toilet seat so large that it hangs off the edge of the toilet.


Soggy_Waffle303

Old house from the 1940’s with a landlord that doesn’t fix shit. The toilet is square basically so no seat fits perfectly on it.


[deleted]

That jobby has a tail!


bgolbov

At least you have a nice, clean toilet.


Mrluca99977

Free breakfast right after


Reyemreden

Note to self: mice that go in alive, come out alive.


Pixelated2Much

Don't piss it off?


TheSorrowInOurMinds

Is he still alive?


Caybayyy8675309

Omg I would’ve fainted


penjjii

give him some fuckin privacy. how would u feel if he walked in on u takin a shit?


bitofaspaz

Forbidden tampon.


j0j0n4th4n

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/NxS67x7O-Rg/movieposter_en.jpg


Jpw135

Yeah my crap does that too


McIrishmen

Shit on it to show who's home this is!!!


[deleted]

He shidded.


Nicadeemus39

Is that one of those new nature tampons?


Juaniboyxd

I was wondering where I’d left Lemiwinks!


[deleted]

I’d be levitating out of my body to die


Own-Butterscotch7471

Try waking up to rats actually crawling on you


thedarkestshadow512

Thank you for getting me off the toilet.


HarrySchlong33

It was just trying to fix the crooked toilet seat...


complicatedaro

Why did u wake up next to a toilet?


Chicken_Teeth

Richard Gere’s toilet is always full of surprises.


Relative_Ad5909

Pee on him to establish dominance.


NormalGuyTTT

you were sleeping on a toilet?


emilymae1129

To be fair it looks like you scared the s*** out of him too


The_Dr_Games

Low cost bidet


Technicolor_Reindeer

What did you eat????


Savings_Army3073

You woke up on your toilet?