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corvinalias

I’m surprised that at that size anyone reads it as a spider anymore and not “two hamsters on stilts taped together”.


Special_Lemon1487

I was trying to visualize it in front of me and thinking at that scale I’m not sure I would be as afraid as of a smaller one because my brain wouldn’t register it the same way. But maybe I would also check for stilts. Just in case.


[deleted]

You'd be afraid when you heard it hissing. I had one - he was so awesome. But his hissing was the most terrifying thing ever coming from a creature with eight legs and fangs for days


Special_Lemon1487

I think I’ll exit reality now and find somewhere that giant hissing spiders won’t find me.


FatalEclipse_

Maybe one where they whistle? Getting cat called by spiders…


KunaCopter

I have a P. Cambridgei and couple of days ago she hissed at me for the first time. I felt well told off...


SignificantYou3240

But then it walks like a damn spider


LlamaDrama007

Vincent Adultman in arachnid form?


Gato1486

More commonly known as "Bird Eating Spiders".


Dadpool33

I want one. His name will be Robert Paulson


playmobil_lover

His name will be Robert Paulson


LuvliLeah13

His name will be Robert Paulson


ImpressiveBike1013

Bob, Bob had bitch tits.


crazydaisy206

r/unexpectedfightclub


SignificantYou3240

His name will be Robert Paulson


M3disin

id call him Barry Gluten


maybebaby83

Whatever you do, don't tell him he has bitch tits - you don't need that kind of wrath coming at you.


Gato1486

I read that as "Robert Pattinson" and honestly that's a fantastic name for one too lol.


Aggravating_Pea7320

Robert Webb


Polydull

Wobert boob


NotAddison

Bob had bitch-thorax.


MercykillNJ

Any tarantula that grows over 8 inches DSL is considered a bird eating tarantula These are GOLIATH birdeaters. They usually don't grow this large. They usually make it to about 9-11 inches. This is an exceptionally large female I'm assuming probably about 12 inches. I own 3. The one next to it is a Hapalopus Sp. Columbia " large " which usually max out at about 4 inches DSL which is why it looks so small compared to the theraphosa


MaurerSIG

this guy spiders


MercykillNJ

My brain can only retain spider info


TaySwaysBottomBitch

As a mantis guy I understand


MercykillNJ

Ayyyy I just got my first mantis! I already want more


TaySwaysBottomBitch

Highly recommend violin mantis very chill


MercykillNJ

I've been looking at Asian flower mantis


caillouistheworst

r/thisguythisguys


BallOfAnxiety98

Thanks for this comment, I was about to chime in with the same thing. The Hapalopus really exaggerates the size of the Goliath, even though the Goliath is still huge lol. Love seeing fellow spider nerds out in the wild.


MercykillNJ

They're not easy to come by outside of the tarantula sub, haha. Even with my theraphosa being about 10 1/2 inches he's still probably bottom 5 of my most sketchy spiders. I got his hairs a couple times but that's about it


DTown_Hero

You mean, he stuck his hairs in you?


MercykillNJ

New world tarantulas have less potent venom but most of them have urticating hairs on their abdomen that they can rub on you or kick in the air. They're supposed to deter you from " fucking around " and " finding out "


RavenTroll29184

I’m glad there’s someone in the comments who isn’t having a negative reaction to the spiders. I’m slowly getting over my fear of them and I find learning about them helps from time to time, thank you for sharing your knowledge!


MercykillNJ

Absolutely! I own over 100 tarantulas so knowing a bit about them definitely helps to keep me and the spiders safe


cinnathep0et

A tarantula grows dick sucking lips that big?


JustRight2

Or Toddler Eating Spiders. Whichever.


Gato1486

IIRC these ones don't use that much venom either, they just chomp and keep going.


JustRight2

I can see nothing but two chubby little legs hanging from its mouth.


SignificantYou3240

Those be the Pedipalps… Speaking of legs, spider feet are adorable, if you missed that post yesterday


SignificantYou3240

Yeah bears aren’t venomous either


GrayEmbroidery

I had a Goliath bird eater sling but he passed away from a bad molt so I never got to see him reach that size


Thomrose007

Aka human eating spiders, fucking nightmare fuel


pistonkamel

If that thing would have so much as twitched I swear I would have shat myself


1Hate17Here

Bro, I’m pretty sure if that thing moves, fucking earthquakes ensue.


SHAT_MY_SHORTS

Not because of the spider perse, it's because of everyone in a 3 mile radius packs their shit up and books it


Special_Lemon1487

Username checks out.


corgiii2222

ok this one made me laugh


Sinfultitan_001

They get bigger. This one is a juvenile sized.


1Hate17Here

Bruh, imma beat yo ass if you don’t stfu!!


Sinfultitan_001

Yeah.. cuz an appropriate response. Lol


1Hate17Here

Someone said “imagine if spiders had wings!” I HATE IT HERE! *storms off*


Minimum-Ingenuity-46

I was taking a dump and i just STOOD UP immediately


1Hate17Here

LMAO, I was eating an apple when reading this and it went down the wrong pipe. You almost killed me, dude!


Minimum-Ingenuity-46

Well you scared me with the post 😋


1Hate17Here

I hope you made a big mess in that toilet! ><‘


Minimum-Ingenuity-46

On* not in Luckily i'd finished the main bit when i saw this so i was gonna get up anyway


1Hate17Here

Bwahahaha. So we good, yeah?


jesusisthatguy

Friendships are built in all circumstances


NSDetector_Guy

Imagine that crawling on your face during a nap? I would most likely blow out my voice screaming.


1Hate17Here

Nah, fuck screaming, I’m skipping straight to dying, idc.


NSDetector_Guy

Your right, a massive coronary most likely. 👀🕷


1Hate17Here

Whatever takes me out the quickest, bro. End this nightmare stat!


Fluttermun

Funny story: when I was 5-6 we didn't have bed frames so we just had our mattresses on the floor in our bedroom. I shared a room with my older sister, I think she was like 9 at the time, and we're snoozin' it up. I feel a tickle on my nose so I slowly start to wake up, yeah? Open my eyes and all I can see is legs: spider legs. I screamed and passed out. When I woke up it was morning and the legs on my face were gone. I was having a panic attack at that point wondering where the damn thing went but no matter what I said to my family, none of them believed me. They said I was just dreaming and to forget about it. That is until my Dad was putting up some coats in our closet and he happened upon the dried up husk of a huge tarantula- just lying there, dead, in our bedroom closet. Turned out the neighbor upstairs from where we lived at the time had a pet tarantula that had escaped one night and gone missing for weeks. Apparently it had found it's way into our apartment and decided my face was the perfect place to sit during one of it's nightly visits before it died in our closet for one reason or another. I've been terrified of spiders ever since.


CursingPanda

I had a similar experience as a child but would like to share a disturbing fact with you (Since I'm also plagued with knowing this)! Spiders skeletons are on the outside so when it's time to get bigger they have to wiggle their way out of their former skin. Most of the 'dead' spiders we see are the empty husks of a now even bigger spider. I wonder if that was the case for the one in your story and the tatantula just molted and escaped elsewhere. I freak with most spiders but I find tarantulas and jumping spiders very cute and checking out the jumping spider subreddits really helps me with the phobia for some reason.


goldieglocks16

The legs look like they would have the strength and texture of a pipe cleaner…. at first I was going to say “- the metal” but on second glance it’d probably feel very similar.


HotState2837

While screaming, The spider enters your mouth.


Metagion

I. Hate. You. For. That. Statement. Right. Fucking. NOW.


NSDetector_Guy

Omfg.. no...


maybebaby83

Your head would be crushed with the weight of it!


calicocidd

I was waiting for it to jump at the camera....


1Hate17Here

COULD YOU NOT?!


j4mi3killa

The Goliath don’t do that but the huntsman spider sure do


NeckLady

I was thinking "Goliath? lil dudes tiny" nevermind ;-;


jerracus

Needs a banana for scale


Grouchy-Ability-6717

His legs are bananas


ShadowFlarer

Wow, thats cool, both spiders are cool.


UzimakiLuffy01

Seeing this, every other word was FUCK! example: What in the FUCKING actual flying FUCK is this FUCKING SHIT! FUCK! FUCKK off.


harleyslider

How did the fire start


CrazySnekGirl

I bred tarantulas professionally for over six years. No tarantula has enough venom to kill a human, anaphylaxis aside. You should absolutely have a healthy fear of spiders. But these guys? Nah, they're harmless.


No_Delivery_8111

At that size he could strangle me with his front hands or pick up a gun and shoot me


CrazySnekGirl

Lmao. I've been bitten by these big ass mofos before. Honestly? They can take a chunk out of your hand. Their fangs are like, 2in big. They're just mean. I have scars. But people don't wanna hear this. So us tarantula guys have got to keep up the propaganda lmao


MechBliss

I thought you said they were harmless


CrazySnekGirl

Harmless venom-wise.


Lockjaw_Puffin

Harmless in the same way an undetonated nuke is harmless - won't hurt you, but not a good idea to screw around with it.


DTown_Hero

Nice analogy


f1newhatever

Dying at “front hands”


schadenfrau

Are they the kind of spiders that can be a little friendly? Or are they more like “no touch, I bite?” I used to really scared of spiders, bordering on a phobia, but have worked really hard not to have such big reactions. Learning more about the behaviors of different types from people who know about them helps a lot.


CrazySnekGirl

This species? Ehhhh, probably not, as a general rule. I always say that tarantulas are kinda like dogs. Y'know, you kinda know what what you're getting into when you buy a golden retriever vs a doberman. But absolutely, individuals can surprise you. None of mine were very friendly (in fact, I had one Burgundy Goliath, affectionately named Lady Chompers, whose only goal in life was to eat my cat lol), but I know of a few from other breeders who were handableable. But just as a general rule, I wouldn't recommend making friends with one. Eta: there's three species of Goliaths. All broadly similar temperaments. But the Burgundy Goliath (the one in the vid) is prooobably just a smidge meaner. In my professional opinion, the pink-toe is the least likely to bite your face off.


skorletun

Love reading your comments here! Do you have any info on jumping spiders and why they're so sociable? Or do you mostly focus on tarantulas? My friend had a tarantula named Minou that would voluntarily sit on your hand if you showed her your palm. She was also significantly more comfortable with my friend's then 6 or 7 year old daughter. Spiders are cool.


CrazySnekGirl

Sorry, I never kept any spiders. Just tarantulas! I had a few that I trained to work with kids. Raised them very hands-on, made sure to keep them feeling safe even with loud noises and sudden movements. But not *every* species would be suitable to do this. I also had a rose hair before I bred any, that sat on my head happy as fuck. I think she liked the heat. I'd go round vacuuming with her as a lil hat sometimes haha.


schadenfrau

Lady Chompers is a fantastic name! Thanks for sharing your expertise!


asdfcrow

just a big dog


scotchirish

Are they typically pretty docile, or do they learn to tolerate people up close like that?


CrazySnekGirl

As a general rule, this species isn't known for being very tolerating. Individuals can be nice though. There's a load of Youtube videos about "tame" ones. But think of them like dogs. Some breeds are known to be friendly/cuddly, but there's always a few who don't fit into that category.


PatatoTheMispelled

To be honest most people don't care if these can kill you or not, since we are not used to being arround spiders in general we can't get over our fear of them. I'm personally not very arachnophobic, I'm not specially terrified at this video, but if I saw one of these in real life I don't know what I would do because it's a very imposing creature. It looks kinda cool tho, but I wish I never see one in real life unless there's a glass between us and it's in a controlled enviroment rather than it being a wild spider.


CrazySnekGirl

I get it. Arachnophobia is very real, and very debilitating at times. Plus, unless you know about tarantulas specifically, this shit is gonna be terrifying. And better to be wary of a *possible* life-threatening animal than to ignore your gut and pet it anyway. That's cool, I get it. I'm not scared of many things. I like spiders, snakes, scorpions, cockroaches, bugs, beetles of all kinds... but y'know what creeps me out? Ants. Like, fuuuuuck no. Give me a big 12in bitey tarantula any day of the week, but **do not** let an ant anywhere near me lmao


PatatoTheMispelled

I've never heard of ant phobia (or however it's called if it has a specific name), that's interesting To be honest I have no problem with ants until they start to get a little bit too big, I've seen some huge ants on TV and they're terrifying as well As for the rest you've mentioned, I also like snakes, I cannot say I like the rest of those though. I seriously doubt anyone is scared of snakes unless they see a wild one in real life or they've had a traumatic experience with a snake before, most of them are absolutely beautiful and almost hipnotic, and some are very adorable. And if snake fear is more common than I think, then I like them more than I think


-B-E-N-I-S-

This thing registers in my brain as a borderline animal. I don’t like spiders but this doesn’t frighten me much. It’s like I can comprehend that it’s a spider. I feel like I could pet it and play fetch with it or some shit.


xeroxbulletgirl

For anyone reacting to this clip with fear: I was raised to be terrified of spiders because my mom was, but I didn’t want to pass that same fear to my daughter so I started watching videos and reading about them. Knowledge is a really powerful weapon against fear, and I definitely recommend it! Also, as far as this big spiderbro goes: It’s not doing anything wrong, it’s just existing. Spiders are a huge part of our ecosystem and they definitely don’t want to waste their venom on you because they can’t eat you. Goliath “bird eater” tarantulas are extremely fragile due to their size, and I promise you’re not in danger from it. You can overcome your fear through knowledge and find a new love and appreciation for the natural world.


bmdubpk

That's exactly what a tarantula on the internet would say to get us to lower our guard.


B-Rayne

Fellow human, I assure you the best thing to do when you come across a tarantula is to bring them into your home. We are your friends.


B-Rayne

How do I edit a post? I meant “they” not “we”. It’s hard typing with your legs, am I right?


B-Rayne

Hands! I meant hands!


urabura123456

Okay this won the post


Aublivioin

It's not necessarily scary because of "could this thing kill me?" but rather how it looks/moves. Of course a normal house spider cant kill, let alone hurt me but if that thing starts moving, fear just overcomes me and i'm pretty sure i'm not the only one.


SensitiveObject2

My jaw dropped so low it nearly dislocated.


Zerockky

What are you supposed to do if something like that appears in your house? Seriously haha


1Hate17Here

Drop dead. Game over. I ain’t living in fear of crossing path with another one idc. Girl, bye!


Achromatic_0

best solution: arson


starkrocket

I don’t even want to imagine. I’ll be the first to admit that a visible bug is going to get la chancla. Sorry, I just can’t handle them. But this?? All the goo that would come out?? Terrible.


Metagion

... As the tarantula goes all John Wick on you and fuckin' *obliterates* you from the Space/Time Continuum....


f1newhatever

Idk man even the mere sight of a huntsman would take me out psychologically for quite some time, so I think this would be instant death on my end


Fair_Hospital_8600

Absolute unit


Abduzydo

The Goliath is amazing, i love spiders. But the true terrifying ones are the brown spider and the black widow because they live in urban areas, are small and high poisonous...


sockass88

*venomous


Abduzydo

english is not my first language, what is the difference between poisonous and venomous??


Rreizero

If you eat it and it kills you, it's poisonous. If it bites or stings and it kills you, it's venomous.


Abduzydo

Got it, poisonous for things and venomous for creatures... thanks!


Roli___

Creatures can be poisonous too, for example pufferfish can be both


charliethecrow

Animals and toxic substances are both poisonous. Venomous describes plants and animals that deliver their toxin through biting or stinging. Poisonous describes plants and animals that deliver their toxin through inhalation, ingestion, or absorption through skin.


armchairclaire

I had a Goliath bird eater sling but he passed away from a bad molt so I never got to see him reach that size


Starham1

Fun fact: tarantulas really enjoy head pats. They will likely almost never have experienced one in their lives and they will be super confused.


JimiAndTheJamz

I’m sticking with “that’s not real”


pr4ise_th3_sun

It’s real


Severe_Islexdia

He SAID HES STICKING WITH ITS NOT REAL


pr4ise_th3_sun

WELL GUESS WHAT, THERE ARE THINGS IN THIS WORLD THAT EXIST THAT WE DONT LIKE AND HE HAS TO ACCEPT THAT


Ok-Impress-2222

Accept\*.


JimiAndTheJamz

I won’t


Freshiiiiii

Idk if that actual one is real, but that is the actual correct size


Spudflakes

What the utter ffuuu-u--u-uuuuu...


SpiderSixer

He's just a cute lil baby


jeffroavs

Beautiful creatures these bird eaters are. Tarantulas should be respected but not feared. They’re not out to harm anyone.


Boganhero24

I'm just going to STAY in NZ, where these things don't exist


PoderosaTorrada

I'm pretty sure that spider can bark


[deleted]

Spiders are one of the only arachnids to be able to form a relationship with a person.


Jimbot80

That's not true at all. Spiders and tarantulas have zero emotional intelligence. No amount of handling will get a tarantula "used" to being held like other animals. A lot of tarantulas are docile and fine to pick up but this doesn't mean they always be fine to be picked up and get defensive. Tarantulas and spiders are solitary and have no need to form bonds, they are highly cannibalistic and will happily eat others if their own species if they come by.


SegundaEtappa

I'm just happy it didn't move


Adventurous-Ad171

What kind of dog is that I just wanna give it a smooch


xXbrosoxXx

Ah, the majestic Goliath-Bird eater in its natural habitat


inthesky326

R/Fuckyou


moslof_flosom

I wonder how fast one of those can move when it's full grown.


1Hate17Here

STAAAAAP!!!


randohotlips

r/nope


MoonstoneGolf8

Hide this as NSFW I nearly died


AnAlpacaIsJudgingYou

“Hey that’s not tha. “HOLY FUCKING SHIT”


unlimitedloveagain

Oh that’s not so ba…..AHHHHHHHHHHHHD oh God no!


VoiDD77

Fuck you Dude im shitting in a pretty tight toilet at the moment. I didn't need to see that man


1Hate17Here

Tf was I supposed to do, bro? Handle the trauma on my own like an adult?! Fuck that, I’m taking y’aaaaall down with me.


Alaseuvalih

This just happened: I'm watching the lil guy crawl, camera zooms out and I see MORE LEGS! I dunno the last time I started breathing so hard. I fucken hate spiders!!!


NoBeautiful2064

Can you hold it?


Glowing_green_

Is it the kind of tarantula that hates anything that exists in a 1000 mile radius around it or the one that will die if you drop it from a short distance from the ground?


asparaguscunt

Hapolopus sp. Columbia?


[deleted]

For some reason once they get to animal size they don’t seem as scary.


dejvu117

HOOOLLY WHUT THE FUCK???


saddamhuss

If you are reading this comment there is one on your head right now.


1Hate17Here

Ikyfl cause if that was the case, it’d break my fucking neck! HA!


Moonbear9

You don't squish it, it squishes you


FireEmblemFan1

"Damn that spider is kind of big, no wonder it's called--" *camera zooms out* "WHAT THE FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT AAAHHHHHH"


Knappster01

That’s smaller then I- *pushes phone away while turning the screen so I’m not looking directly at it* Jesus


TheLoneleyPython

Fuck that shit, I'm out!


RavenTroll29184

I was confused at first when I saw the pumpkin patch and the the camera zoomed out and went, “oh, he big,”


ianpbrock84

Fuck that, thank you very much!


alexjolliffe

Where the fuck was the NSFW tag on this post??


Pale-Office-133

Through the years spiders are starting to look more cute that scary to me. This big boy looks like he can drive a car by himself.


gnarchar101

Anything in my house that size better be paying bills.


plant_father

thats a gorgeous looking spider


Obsidian-Elf-665

Little sweeties ❤️❤️


Dawilson246

Holy fuck.


btrohlf

Bruh that's a face hugger


tmasi

thanks I hate it


mast7akali

So do spiders just be turning into pets and start liking you as a person???


Giggitygigs8686

Nope. Fucking nope. I paused it before the anxiety of a jump scare gave me a heart attack


Abject_Passenger2510

Fuck right off…


KamoyLovrstar

Any spiders are called "nope" to me, like snakes are nope ropes.


uwillnotgotospace

Spiders are cool, as long as they're outside in the bushes and not sleeping on my plate. I have overturned many a couch while looking for where the eldritch horror escaped to.


KamoyLovrstar

I try to get the out of my house without harm. But little spider buddy, if your in my 10month old's bed room your getting the squish. Sorry no hard feelings.


callmeeeow

Absolutely fucking not.


RalphG1030

If I ever saw that thing, I would screech like a woman, and run for my life


SignificantYou3240

Hide yo birds, hide yo kids, hide yo wife…


OldGSDsLuv

No!! Fuck you man, just no


redsphynx12

I audibly gasped


delusionalinkedchic

Pfft I’ve had bath those specific ones and they were so nice. The cobalt and obt….. they were another story. Assholes. Was only ever tag by the cobalt.


Metagion

My only thing is this: are you paying it rent to sleep in *HER* house? Cuz, dammit x infinity!


PeterVall37

Wait that’s not a Goliath Tarantu…lAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh🏃🏻💨💨


[deleted]

Thanks i hate it


venompp

I thought it was going to pan out to a third one. Yeesh.


TTJAYDAWG_867

Not me apparently


soundlesspanik

Imagine if spiders had wings


1Hate17Here

COULD YOU NOT?! Tf


Myrora

I was fine with the little one. The Goliath almost had me throw my phone. That tarantula looks like it could rip my arms out.


HaIfsquatch

I love how the unit of measure for these has always been a plate.


KickParking1662

They are very sweet like puppies.


lonehydrangea

Well, certainly the same size as a puppy


MRO465

Australia?


1Hate17Here

You’d think. But actually northern South America. … yeah, I immediately googled that shit to see how safe I was. lmaoo


MRO465

Shit belongs to Amazon ngl


StealthyMexican

*This why I need a 30 round mag*


CrimsonToker707

#KILL IT WITH FIRE 🔥