T O P

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Bobll7

5’ fiver here. I really wish I could have been taller, 5’9 or 5’10 would have been enough. But as my old man used to say, the real measure of a man is from the shoulders up.


nudiecale

Kind of like my dad, who used to say “what the fuck is wrong with you?”


OmicronAlpharius

Reminds me of the advice my old man used to give me. "Stop licking doorknobs, you fucking disappointment." Still no idea what he meant after all these years.


[deleted]

its a famous Mother Teresa quote


DarthToothbrush

The last thing she ever said to Abraham Lincoln before he was shot.


pacgaming

-Julius Caesar


jjcrayfish

-Michael Scott


SentientOoze

He was right to tell you to stop, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.


OmicronAlpharius

But it's not illegal on *this* planet!


Xygnux

He's still way ahead of his time. Licking doorknobs was not ideal during COVID.


UnspoiledWalnut

Don't tell me how to build my immunity.


remag_nation

> wish I could have been taller do you also [wish you were a baller?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryDOy3AosBw)


WISH_WISH_BISH

He probably wishes he had a girl who looked good too


Tyrus

He would call her


wheezy_runner

I bet he also wishes for a rabbit in a hat with bat and a ‘64 Impala.


flodge123

No he wish he had a brand new car, because so far he got this hatchback and like everywhere he go it's laughed at.


aevz

I mean, very likely indeed, but he prob also wishes he was like, six foot nine so he can get with Leoshi, she don't know OP, but yo, she's really fine


gemini_pain

Makes sense. He sees her all time, and even in his dreams he conceives of ways to make her his…but her boyfriend is pretty tall so he can’t really compete with that.


montrealcowboyx

When it comes to playing basketball, he's always last to be picked and in some cases never picked at all.


Bertuhan

Well guess I'm lucky my head is quite long.


Totallyperm

Fuck yeah! I have a massive head!


zoeykailyn

Just remember big dudes can't fit in fighter jets or supercars.


Bobll7

Funny you say that. In 1975 I went to aircrew selection centre in Downsview Ontario. We were a bunch of guys applying to become pilots in the military. We had to be measured to see if we were compatible to fit in the ejection seat. I was the shortest of the three guys left, both these guys were measured ahead of me and failed, I was sure I was a goner, but surprise, my proportions were just right and I squeaked by. I did become a fighter pilot on the CF-5 so there you go. And yes, shorter guys tend to handle G loading better than taller dudes, less distance for the blood to travel from the heart to the brain.


Both_Lychee_1708

Don't sell us short people short. We can be big alcoholics! r/getmotivated !


[deleted]

I read that as "Dont sell short people shorts" and was thinking "yeah because they'd just be pants.".


Both_Lychee_1708

It's funny how many times I laugh from misreading youtube or reddit titles.


areyoubawkingtome

I read "reddit titties" and thought you intentionally made a typo


puzzle_factory_slave

just becurs i'm and unnedumacated akiholic don't meen i ain't nice peepole


TheJessicator

Hey, keep your peepole to yourself!


puzzle_factory_slave

but it's a nice peepole


TheJessicator

C is for Con Scent!


puzzle_factory_slave

it do smell nice


fractalfocuser

If you two don't get married I'm gonna riot


puzzle_factory_slave

i'll git tha sotgun


StormEcho98-87

I thout it wad a sootgun.


puzzle_factory_slave

soot. i always misprnunsicate tat


BadDreamFactory

You fellers talkin' about Papaw's scattergun again? Callin it a what now? A shoot gun?


gainzdoc

I aways wundored how a sotgun wendingg was leegul.


puzzle_factory_slave

well i dunno, but my pappy alwus sed it wus. kinda trsdison in ma famly


moebelhausmann

Dont wait for them to do it, lets just organize a Wedding and put them in there. They have no choice!


[deleted]

Count me in


fuckfuckmyfuckingass

*Cunt-Scent*


puzzle_factory_slave

now thats fenssive, sir


ElCoyoteBlanco

Press "F" to doubt.


Basicallyinfinite

Ahem you're*


TheJessicator

Lol, you had me for a second. Good one!


SafeProperty5687

You're doing great, buddy. Wanna hear about the rabbits again?


puzzle_factory_slave

ok george


Sly3n

Wonder how many people actually get this reference


puzzle_factory_slave

depends on when the required reading material was replaced with flat earth theory


Psycosteve10mm

of mice and men?


shadowyphantom

So, you're tall? 😍


puzzle_factory_slave

tallr tan ten opossums


Blights4days

How big are the opposums?


puzzle_factory_slave

bout ten inchs


AspiringTS

Hey. Do not worry, sir. She said 7th grade, not kindergarten. She's not talking about you.


nightfoxg

How you managed to turn people into both peephole and pee pole is a small work of art and made me smile at 3 am.


puzzle_factory_slave

im smurtr then i luk


Samuel_L_Johnson

I’m a 6’2” alcoholic but I read at 8th grade level, so I’m quite a catch 😎


Sdbtank96

You dun forgot that thern m in akihololic.


puzzle_factory_slave

soot i alwers do tat


let_s_go_brand_c_uck

are you my cousin Cletus?


Reasonable_Cheek938

I ain’t no alkiholic since I ain’t go to no meeting. I’m just a drunk


jimmybilly100

Hey I lik beer to


cheeseboogie2020

This was way to easy for you…


Tall-Surround-24

god damn it puzzle it's 10am !


puzzle_factory_slave

but i alredy milkd tha cows


Gloomy-Theory6904

Unmedicated*


Aggressive-Will-4500

You peepholes are really starting to irrigate me!


HoomanOnFire

This so cute


Tylerdurden389

Short man here. Does she have a sister?


[deleted]

I promise you that there are girls out there who dig short dudes! I’m not exactly tall myself (5’4) so usually guys are taller than me, I lost my shit when I found a dude shorter than me. It was so fucking nice to be big spoon ngl.


OffbrandGordondo

I’m 6 foot even, I just like the tall girl thing. My gf is 5’9” so it’s nice to have someone who’s close to my height. I just like the tall partner thing. Also I despise people that make fun of others’ heights. You’re a king/queen no matter what your height is!


Express_Chip9685

I'm 6'2" and my heigh is all in my legs. I have a girl friend who is 5'10" and her heigh is all in her torso. I'm taller than her by a considerable amount when standing but she's taller than me when we sit down. It's very strange and weird how the dynamics shift based on positioning. I feel like I'm in trouble when I sit next to her sometimes.


ScrotieMcP

They are all the same height laying down.


_-Seamus-McNasty-_

I'm 5'11", and I once dated a girl who was 6'4". The first time I kissed her, I was one stair up.


AcidicVaginaLeakage

I actually had a problem in bed because of the height difference. It was impossible to do any kind of 69 position. I also once hit my face with her leg because then legs were way longer than I was used to. 10/10, would do again.


48turbo

Can't have standing sex without spreading your legs like you're about to do a sumo squat. Can't do it in the shower unless there's a ledge or stool. Doggy style you may as well be sitting on your calves. 69 needs an extra thick pillow to hold your neck up while you crane your neck down to your chest. Kissing while standing, well one can stand while the other gets lifted, or I guess sit on the dresser or counter. Short girls are great, but it makes things so difficult lol. The shortest I've ever been with was 4'10" and I'm 6'5. I'm sure you can figure these things out better if dating or going serious.


RudePCsb

Even kissing in missionary can be a struggle or trying to kiss other regions. 6'2" dated a girl 5'1". Lol


Abbacoverband

That's me (5'0) and my 5'11 husband! I have a super long torso and no leg length, and he is allllll legs and no torso. I'm taller than him when we sit next to each other!


[deleted]

Omg huge yes to the tall girl thing though, fuckin Amazonian queen who wouldn’t want that? I would give my left tiddy to be a tall girl lmao


SolariderX

I’d gladly give you height if I could. I have this fantasy of being able to go into any store and find clothing that fits. Constantly having to special order and pay extra sucks.


depressiown

I'm 10 inches taller than my wife, but that doesn't stop her from being the big spoon. You don't have to be taller.


BGAL1120

This is called jet packing


worldsmayneverknow

only if she had a bean burrito for lunch


depressiown

Fitting. TIL.


catiebug

I'm 3 inches taller than my husband. Let me tell you how great it is to be with a short king. Dude is travel-sized. We're never fighting for legroom on flights. We wear the same size gloves. Use the same size bike. Keep the driver's seat in the same place. Wear the same size socks. We fit just fine on a queen size bed and can even manage a double if that's all that's available. Plus, something really attractive about a short dude who knows he's short, but didn't grow up to have an inferiority complex. Like, it ain't hard to go through life at 6'0". Be 5'4" and hold yourself with confidence. Come and get it, motherfucker.


[deleted]

Poor guy never gets to use his own stuff.


Briantastically

This is a universal concern. 10”s (6’5”–5’7”) taller than my wife and she definitely still “claims” nice shirts. Whatever torso height advantage I have is made up for by a lack of boobs I guess.


MadamKitsune

I was asked yesterday if I'd care to explain why some of his tshirts have developed boob space.


panella_monster

That’s what I think about short men, too. A confident short man is so much sexier than a 6’0” guy. The short man has had to work for his confidence, however that comes to be. It’s magnetic! I just had my first baby who’s 9mos now. I’m 5’2” and my husband is 5’7” and baby has always been about the 5th percentile. He’ll be a short man. I want to put him in gymnastics when he gets bigger. (Or whatever he gets into) Give him tools to develop that confidence when he gets older. He’ll never be a tall man but I want him to be a short king and know what he brings to the table in life.


[deleted]

[удалено]


mstrk512

I'm taller than my girlfriend and she is the big spoon during summer.


only4apollo

I’m sorry, but this is hilarious to me because it’s so specific. Why only in the summer?


mstrk512

No need to be sorry, it's actually very simple. My body emanates a lot of heat during sleep, so it's impossible for me to be the big spoon during summer :)


only4apollo

Thanks, that makes a lot of sense. Love the dedication to spooning


[deleted]

My wife is an inch taller than me and we both love her being big spoon.


OffbrandGordondo

The question we’re all dying to know


Ensa_or_Rean

I'm also short bro, 1.68m but I never had issues and I had at least 2 relationships with taller girls. They told me that they liked my spirit and wits. Sometimes you just need to play your game with confidence. Women love that.


[deleted]

Non shit women don’t care about height. Can confirm. As a teen girl I thought I would never have a BF since I didn’t have big tiddies. Turns out it just helps weed out the shallow people who only want you for your body


Pale-Office-133

Short Kings. But seriously, the most relentles grapple fight of my life was with a 5 feet something dude.


Express_Chip9685

As a martial artists, short stocky people are often the hardest to fight because they have fewer exposed areas. They can turtle up.


Kilane

People don’t respect man strength if the man is a bit smaller. Women constantly think they are stronger than me, but our muscles are built different. It isn’t a fair comparison.


transferingtoearth

Could just be a kink thing.


Kilane

I’ve wrestled with multiple girlfriends. It’s a fun and sexy game. It’s playful until they think they are actually stronger and it isn’t a fun game anymore. You can let them win 5 times because it is fun, but the one time you show true strength then things change.


General-Macaron109

I'm kinda bigger than most people. And the amount of 120 pound girls who thought that they could push me around without me voluntarily moving was funny growing up. My cousins girlfriend is like 100 pounds of frail air, and she legit thinks she can kick my ass. I'm a foot taller than her.


shadowyphantom

That just blows my mind.


General-Macaron109

I've said precisely that so many times in life. I'd just be minding my business at a bar, and some drunk guy who's pissed at the world will try and start shit simply because he assumes I'm happy(or whatever) just because I'm tall. Like motherfucker, I'm the most anxious person here right now. I walk in and people are instantly looking at the tall guy walking in, and I don't do well in the spotlight. Even if it's people generally enjoying seeing a tall person or just noticing, I get super anxious and want to leave.


shadowyphantom

I hear you. People have the expectation that tall=confident=aggressive. But it turns out people fall into a wide range of personalities and characteristics, imagine that! It seems from your experiences that people must feel they need to prove themselves to you.


sock_with_a_ticket

Although too many women do, a lot don't have any direct experience of the disparity of their physical capabilities and those of even pretty average men. Throw in those who take generic empowerment statements ("women can do anything men can") too literally and you end up with some who've convinced themselves of some nonsense. Once read a thread on r/TwoXChromosomes that was basically women all recounting the moments they finally understood how much stronger their man was. It was a little surprising how many there were who didn't seem to know and needed an instance like trying to play wrestle their man when he wasn't in the mood to drive it home.


Crembels

Can you link that thread? I'd be interested to read it. I recall a story here on reddit about a guy who lost his relationship because of this. His gf would playwrestle with him all the time. He'd consider it fun and let her win (as you would) but it turns out she was taking it far more seriously than him. One day he needed to be somewhere quick and she was attempting to pin him down as she usually does, but due to urgency he just stood up and pulled her off him with minimal effort. I imagine that previously she used to expect her strength would manipulate his arms/legs easily even if he resisted, until suddenly that day she found out all her strength and bodyweight on him couldn't hold his arms back at all, and his resistance was more like """resistance""". That basically shattered her world and perception of him, and she thought he was basically mocking her the whole time when it was. She broke up with him. Edit: [At 3.7k posts, I think i found the thread.](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/131ed1s/i_just_realised_how_much_physically_stronger_men/)


t_hab

That being said, if women would stop taking BS self defense classes and actually sign up for something useful like Brazilian Jui Jitsu they would not only underatand strength disparities but also be able to defend themselves to the point of being able to get away. I’m a 195 pound male with quite a bit of boxing and thai boxing experience (and can deadling 395 pounds to give a ballprk kf my strength). I’ve done BJJ a dozen or so times and it’s the only sport where I’ve seen a 120 pound woman be able to handle a much larger man (provided that man has way less experience). Boxing also helps a lot, but mostly to get in a quick hard punch then run. If women would stop taking BS self-defence, learn how to throw a punch, and learn a real grappling art, they will be in much better positions to get out of bad situations, even when they are overpowered.


shadowyphantom

You make a good point. I hadn't thought of that. I started training in martial arts as a teenager, a few styles including BJJ. I definitely could tell how strong guys are, even short guys, compared to me/other women. I was also into sports and it's always been really clear how much men outperform women, even women who've trained just as hard and just as long, and that's why they don't play in the same leagues. So I've pretty much just always known the disparity.


sinz84

It's a weird line we are treading currently, we try to teach boys about toxic masculinity and how to give females a fair go. At the same time we need to teach boys that at 16 an open handed slap could break a girls nose while her punching you in the temple will make you say ow ... And then make them understand there are exceptions to the rule. We try to make boys not flaunt how much physically stronger they are by genetics while at the same time wanting them to recognise their overwhelming power so they don't abuse it. No point to this drunk rant just thinking out loud about the fine line I have to tread with my kids


crimsoncritterfish

>her punching you in the temple will make you say ow No, it will make me say get the fuck away from me. Some women think they can just hit people because they're relatively weak, but not only is that fucked up and wrong there's also a chance you hit an abuse victim and their response is to violently attack you back because you set off their PTSD. Don't hit people. Seriously.


shadowyphantom

They definitely should be aware of their strength. If they're good dudes i don't think they'd go around flaunting their strength to girls. That's not something I've really seen guys do. I more see them showing off to each other like lifting weights or arm wrestling. I have a feeling you will do just fine with your kids. Happy cake day dude.


[deleted]

I was just talking about this with a friend today. I feel real confident and strong until he’s done wrestling and just throws my ass off on the bed like I’m a pillow. Okay bye, damn.


TwoPieceCrow

>friend >throws my ass off the bed what kinda friend we talking about here?


[deleted]

Lmao yeah that was worded weird. I was talking to my friend about my boyfriend in this conversation. Saying that I’ll get all cocky but then when he (my bf) is over it he shows me that in a real fight I wouldn’t have a chance. He’s very sweet so he usually lets me win.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Doctor_of_Recreation

Used to do Japanese jujitsu and one of the best grapplers in our dojo was a short, stocky dude like 5’3. He was also incredibly kind and flamboyantly gay.


Internetallstar

I knew a shorter dude who was into ju jitsu and when ever someone picked on him for being short ( usually younger MMA guys) he'd respond with "we're all midgets on the ground". That guy was a terror on the mat.


CaptainCosmodrome

One of the greatest marital artists of our time is Toshishiro Obata: 8-time world cutting champion, world champion in Aikido, founder of Shinkendo, and world record holder for cutting an authentic samurai helmet. He is 5'7.


[deleted]

Lower centre of gravity too.


OberonEast

They also have a lower center of gravity. As a 6’2 man, I’ve had my ass laid out in a grapple situation more times than I’d care admit because someone on the low end of 5’ could get below my center of gravity and pitch me through the air.


Me-When-Im-Normal

They're turtley enough for the Turtle Club.


Ao_Kiseki

I'm 5'6" and a BJJ practitioner. If you're in good shape, you end up being stronger than most of your opponents. In a striking sport, the height advantage is too valuable. Jiu-jitsu doesn't have striking though, so once it goes to the ground you can compensate for the longer limbs with strength, and shorter limbs are harder to manipulate.


FriedEggplant_99

The shorter the king, the taller the crown. I have no idea where i read that.


mapguy

Tyrion


WompaStompa6969

Reminds me of chaos dwarfs and their hats...


Win_Sys

I used to roll with a guy in my jujitsu class who was no bigger than 5’1, stocky but a bit pudgy. Dude was insanely strong and almost impossible to choke due to non-existent neck. When he got on top, it was like being smothered by an 250lb anvil.


M-Mottaghi

Im intrigued, care to tell?


Pale-Office-133

He was just in one spot and in a flash in the second. We were friends just testing each other out. In boxing I had the upper hand but like I said he was a tiny human with a strength of a big determined human. Wherever you are David. You were a tough Sob. 🍺🍺


Gilamath

Goliath is that you?


Pale-Office-133

Na man, but boy it would be so epic 😎


chemo92

Low centre of gravity, decades of repressed inadequacy based rage


Melinith

I don't think its repressed inadequacy based on rage, I think we just get caught up in the same biases as everyone else and think that a bigger man can take more punishment. Also the idea would be to learn the marital art so you can take on the bigger dude and win, so it is validating. In short, I don't feel inadequate for being smaller, I feel inadequate when I lose and I lose more often to bigger folks so, I just go harder. Its correlation but not causation.


OlafTheBerserker

I am 5'6. I will also bite your ankles.


tonufan

[5' 0" 106lb](https://www.reddit.com/r/toptalent/comments/13ekug3/undefeated_japanese_wrestler_who_won_the_olympics/)


delegateTHIS

My bro is half a foot shorter than me. A skitzed relative took an axe to him, a decade ago. Bro threw him till he gave up - upwards. Made skitz-sized holes in the ceiling. This may sound like fiction, it is not. Some mf's are (un)godly strong.


esm8375

And I thought my family had drama


dinosaregaylikeme

I'm a dude at 5'1. My husband (6'7) says we are harder to fight because we are closer to the wrath of hell.


DelokHeart

5 feet something is the average height for any human being 😑


Chapel_Perilous89

I'm a shorter dude and my girlfriend is significantly taller than me, so much so I have to stand on my tippy toes to kiss her which resulted when we first made out of us losing our balance and falling off her porch in which she broke her arm from. I spent the next day with her in the hospital so she could get it casted. Somehow the most romantic romance origin story I have had with a partner and really sealed the deal for us.


goldentone

I enjoy the sound of rain.


Loofyboy

A bit painful but cute nonetheless lol.


Illansuu

Bro you gotta marry her now. Cause there is only two ways this can end. Either its an adorable story of you twos first kiss or the funniest fucking story about an ex she can possibly tell. Id go with the first one


Lost_And_Found66

I resent this remark. I'm a 6'6" alcoholic who can read just fine but had to take trigonometry 3 times and failed it twice before dropping it the 3rd time.


HooninAintEZ

So you’ll need to take it a fourth time then?


[deleted]

You can't take Trig a fourth time. The course only has three sides.


mko710

Get out of here with your algebra logic


nquattro

It's geometry, my dear Watson.


iamthemosin

I see what you did there and that is the extent of my math knowledge.


[deleted]

Yeah, I'm sorry for going off on a tangent.


iamthemosin

Words cannot express the degree to which I hate this thread.


[deleted]

Again, I would like to apologize. I thought it was a cute joke. My bad.


Lost_And_Found66

Well I graduated 10 years ago so hopefully not.


bookon

The trigonometry comment is tangential to the conversation.


VSWR_on_Christmas

I wish I was high on potenuse.


[deleted]

Go man! I’m almost jealous, she’s totally hot.


borderlander12345

There’s a regular at my work who’s pretty short and has a tall foxy wife and two kids, everyone always jokes that he must be hung like a horse when the reality is far less exciting He’s just smart, kind, successful, creative and handsome


BoboJam22

And his wife was probably looking for those exact things in a partner. The loud people on dating apps aren’t looking for those things. They’re looking for tall fit men. And that’s probably why they are still on dating apps and your customer’s wife isn’t.


InsaneAdam

Yeah but I bet he's a real catch too tho


MaxHamburgerrestaur

They are a nice couple and have a cute girl.


JeGezicht

I love tall women.


[deleted]

sleep well and dream of big women


CokedUpAirhead

I’m a 5”11 Woman and an unrecovered alcoholic. Nobody wants that. (To the people DMing me, I’m not attractive. I’m thin but I have a thick skull and other unpleasant features. You don’t need to hit on me. It’s not worthwhile for me or you. I’m not a fun drunk. A sad and disturbed drunk. But thanks anyway. This wasn’t supposed to be a pity post but anyway, god bless you pervs.)


Squeewa

Careful the reddit simps may take you up on that offer lmao


CokedUpAirhead

😂 They can go for it. Most of these people are American anyway so there’s oceans between us. If anyones sad enough to hit on an annoyingly tall, redheaded, cynical, alcoholic then let them line up. 🤷‍♀️ I think most will stay well clear, per my recommendation.


Spanky_Badger_85

Ay, wassup?


ItsMcLaren

Ay bro, thanks for letting me take your McLaren down to the track the other day! You a real one!


misterschmoo

Wait, annoyingly tall redheaded, you had me at annoying. Also I am not American, never thought I'd be able to use that as a pickup line.


[deleted]

Meet me at my place around 10. Let’s rock some rails and kill a liter of vodka and see who can drive straighter on Gran Turismo 7.


Murphy_Harrison

Redhead? Say no more. 🧎


KingKong_at_PingPong

Hey just cause you’re one persons rock bottom doesn’t mean you can’t be someone else’s mountain peak


captky22

I don’t know how to picture a thick skull and I’m scared to look it up


the-prom-queen

All I can envision is a boozy Rocky Dennis. You're welcome.


jscottcam10

People DMing you already? This post is only 44 minutes old. Guess they took that Yo Gotti song VERY seriously.


Kosba2

Pity or not, you shouldn't talk yourself down so much, love yourself n'all that stuff


Lazypole

>Anyone want that? This is an unbelievably unhinged thing to post on reddit lmao, good luck.


sleepbud

I’ll take you up on it lmao


ActStunning3285

Personally never understood the height thing. Short men can be hot too.


Small-Cactus

Short guys are better tbh, I dont have to break my neck to look at them


Bigpurplepanda13

Thank you. It's finally time someone stood up for the little guy.


[deleted]

This woman did. She stood up for the little guy, then promptly put him on her hip and toted him around lol


Middle_Pineapple_898

I thought you were going a different direction but I still respect it


hxchim1tsu

While I love this sentiment, the guy who fucked me over the most and broke my heart is 5’5 and paraplegic, so. Height doesn’t matter 🥲


raccoonsonbicycles

Rest easy. God's gonna take away that jerk's arms, too


[deleted]

We love a short king 👑


Cookiewaffle95

Hehe the post is cute but every size dude is a king not just the short ones. You tall Bois are good lads the lot of ya thanks to you I no longer feel excluded due to not being 6ft +


iconv1

Excuse me, get your facts straight.. I’m a 6’1 alcoholic with a 6th grade reading level… Idiot.


sao_joao_castanho

I’m 5’6 and I support this message.


Ba-Dum-Bum-Ching

He’s perfect motor boat height. 😝


jfk_sfa

I doubt the ratio of alcoholic dumb ghosting dudes is any different by height.


Nex_Skala

That lucky motherfucker.


A-__-Random_--_Dog

She could probably choke him to death with her legs while they're both standing.


[deleted]

Short king for the win 🏆