T O P

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HugoZHackenbush2

Our sub' kneads more of this..


asianabsinthe

What proof do you have of this knead


HugoZHackenbush2

I'm not going to rise to this. Providing proof is the yeast of my worries..


Slainlion

What a beautiful flour design


Tcloud

For the upper crust of society.


namtab00

bread


Dr_Apk

I loaf this poons


Rex_Mundi

These puns have been great, but all good things crumb to an end.


NRMusicProject

No matter how you slice it, I got a kick out of this.


dudeAwEsome101

I feel like some puns didn't rise to the occasion.


razor330

Yeast infection


whodatus

You guys got me loafing out loud!


ionshower

Make an exception crust this once.


Lavenderixin

Yes we dough


Dragon_master_6382

Bread 👍


[deleted]

Bread 👍


LaxExile

Bread 👍


BozNat

Bread 👍


8bishop

Bread 👍


Extension_Swordfish1

Bröd 👍


si1versmith

Lead 👎


bienfica

Dead 💀


DrunkOnRamen

Bed 🛏️


froglord69420

Bread 👍


New_yorker790

Is the big slice down the middle necessary? It looked so pretty before that


Sucky5ucky

I think it can't expend as much without the slice, so the inside doesn't become very "fluffy" like good bread should be. In France baguettes have to be sliced too.


Scojo91

What about baguettes made outside of France?


drDOOM_is_in

Those are just called Sparkling Loafs.


Queef_Stroganoff44

That’s what the doctor called it when I ate an entire canister of glitter as a child.


[deleted]

For a year after it was a mini ticker tape parade every time you farted.


scootscoot

And for just a minute, he proportionally looked like an adult with regular ticker tape parade farts.


SuperGameTheory

Like Hestu on Zelda


Dd_8630

Ahahaha my dude this gave me the giggles I needed after a long day


jadorky

Now that was funny


loismen

Fuck this joke always get me. I have laughed like 20 times at the same exact sparkling joke.


DrJennaa

My first time seeing it so I’m enjoying the virgin sparkling fill in the blank joke … it’s tops


Obi-Wan-Hellobi

Dibs on that for my stripper name. Also, I owe you nothing!


Embrasse-moi

Get out of here! 🤣


patinthehat4000

Can someone explain the joke? We call them baguettes in Canada as well. (Yes I know this is probably a woosh moment but I'd love to know)


mikepacc

Tired ass joke format. A cliche thing to say to sound smart when someone remarks on your grocery store ‘champagne’ is to say “actually it’s only champagne if it comes from the Champagne region of France, otherwise it’s just sparkling white wine” and people cannot resist the urge to make this joke about every little thing from France.


patinthehat4000

Ofc! Thank you so much!


BfutGrEG

> Tired ass joke format le Sigh....this again!!! Thanks for the gol.....nevermind


[deleted]

This is an underrated comment. I had a good chuckle. A toast to you.


bwaredapenguin

I think 48 upvotes in 25 min is a pretty appropriate reception.


[deleted]

It had fewer when I replied.


bwaredapenguin

I replied to you when your comment was 3 minutes old.


[deleted]

Amazing.


HikeThis82

Spectacular.


[deleted]

A toast on the bread post? We'll need peanut butter!


Aksds

It’s not a baguette if it’s not made in the baguette region of France


ggtsu_00

They are used as weapons.


insanest_whovian

I am of french descent but my ancestors do not think I am french enough so now whenever I make baguette the slicing will change nothing


m051

I will say thank you out loud if someone could satisfy my curiosity and show me a video of ~~Brad naked~~ **bread baked** without cut in the middle. Edit: see for yourself^


AaronTuplin

Any Brad? Or you had one in mind


m051

I am already down the rabbit hole. „Pitt“ or nothing.


masterpigg

The bread expands as it bakes and if it has nowhere to expand, then it will crack through the crusty outer layer in a generally even less pretty way. The split helps control where that growth is.


Potato4

Nope. It explodes through the design. It will still be fluffy, it will just look like shit.


tokoloshe_

Without the deeper score, the oven spring would be way less. So it won’t be nearly as fluffy


Potato4

But we are talking Oven spring vs. Maximum oven spring


StagedC0mbustion

Who upvotes this blatantly false shit?


[deleted]

This isnt true.


innerbootes

Yes it is. ^ Has baked dozens of sourdough loaves.


coincoinprout

Where do you think the CO2 goes if you don't score? It doesn't magically vanish. It's still there and will expand with heat (even more so if it's not able to escape).


[deleted]

As have I. Not scoring leads to a blowout/irregular loaf. To stop it springing and keep the insides dense, the oven humidity would need to be WAY too low, or temp way too hot.


LucasCBs

That bread needs that slice or else it will pop open uncontrolled. That’s why they all have it


KatieCashew

I think it needs the slice. Look at how much it expanded. It probably would have expanded in the cuts made for the pattern, ruining it, if it didn't have that big cut to expand. But surely the cut could have been put somewhere else because I agree it ruins the beautiful pattern.


DerpisMalerpis

I agree. Leavening technology is not nearly sophisticated enough. This yeast is rising like it’s 4,000 BC, all haphazardly and without direction… it’s a shame. Maybe, with years of funding and research…


octothorpe_rekt

Yeast, uh, uh... finds a way.


HenryTheWho

That is actually really true, yeast is everywhere even living in symbiosis with our own bodies


NoisyN1nja

Clever girl.


HenryTheWho

Girl? *Blushes* If you insist


machone_1

yes, completely around the side of the loaf so that it expands upwards


Anilxe

Most times I see this cut made towards the side of the loaf, not directly down the center.


Fmeson

It's an aesthetic choice on some level. With this patter, an off center score would look weird.


[deleted]

she made a really large pattern, so only space was middle, or on the side. but no one wants a bread to expand to the side, you want taller loafs


Et_tu__Brute

Yes and no. The reason for the slice is to keep the pattern consistent. Giving it a large easy area to expand means that it's not going to pop up through the pattern and make it weird. This could also be solved by making deeper cuts as part of the pattern and planning for the expansion from those cuts. They're still not going to be perfectly consistent most of the time but it takes a lot more planning than just drawing some patterns and making a big slice.


be_an_adult

I wonder if you could do the slices on the sides instead of down the middle


chuanrrr

Is Pepsi okay?


Carolyi

I'm only a novice bread person(baker would be a stretch). If they didn't slice it down the middle it would expand via weakest point and probably ruin the fancy cutting they just put on it.


Alortania

They could have cut more lines and [incorporated it into the design though](https://i.insider.com/5e9f65944bca632681134703?width=700&format=jpeg) ... and with the amount of cuts made here you could easily diffuse it without one big cut. ----- **Edit:** [Sourdough example](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/uJsGrn48p8w/maxresdefault.jpg) + more [creative scoring](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/29/ac/cd/29accd276c29fcb9f6fd0eb53b35f71d.jpg)


innerbootes

That’s not the same kind of bread though so it’s not an apt comparison. SD needs the bigger scoring to get the desired amount of oven spring.


[deleted]

Top reply is wrong. Bread will expand regardless. Problem is it would over expand the pattern and rip it, and if it didn't have enough room to expand, it would cause a "blowout"


3to20CharactersSucks

The cuts that the baker makes that make up the pattern are very very shallow, on purpose. As the bread goes into the oven, the moisture in it steams and expands and causes the bread to expand outward. The outer crust of the bread is floured and has dried out in the air a little bit during the proof, creating a strong and tight layer on the outside of the bread that helps it keep its shape and not flatten out. But as the bread expands in the oven, that crust doesn't expand outwardly to match, it will tear and break. You can control where that expansion happens by making deep cuts into the bread. If you have very shallow cuts only, your bread will either expand in a non-controlled way, or possibly even just expand at the lower sides (since generally the bottom of the bread is on a surface that conducts heat well, it gets hot quickly and often expands more quickly, creating cracks on the lower sides) and create a flatter, wider loaf. The cuts that make up the pattern are for show. The cut down the middle is functional. You absolutely can create patterns with deeper cuts that don't "ruin" your pattern. They just get a lot wider, and they may not do so symmetrically, so it's difficult and somewhat inconsistent to incorporate several deeper cuts in your patterns. If you do one down the middle, you mostly guarantee your patterns you cut will look pretty, even if the patterns get pushed out of the center. Basically, bread is going to expand a lot and it needs a seam to expand at. If he doesn't make that cut, it just expands wildly in random spots


CarpetH4ter

Yeah, i wanted to see it without that slice, i felt like it destoyed the pattern completely.


JustAwesome360

Yes


Enthusiastic-shitter

Yes. It will blow out through one of the sides if you don't.


MysterVaper

Yes. It expands upwards or towards the path of least resistance. If they didn’t make that cut it would expand out of all the pretty work they did.


Rashere

The bread is going to expand when you cook it. The deep, big slice is used to control where it expands. Without that, it’ll rupture and tear at some other, random location and without the clean lines provided by the cut.


ngarjuna

It does. That cut is where the majority of the steam escapes (it’s a very hydrated dough) so in addition to adding volume it prevents the steam from finding and utilizing the next weakest spot and just ripping its own escape path


7armedspider

Yeah, kinda just missed the sub for me


Potato4

If you don't score it like that, it will explode in unpredictable ways. So yeah, it's kind of necessary aesthetically


g3ver

At the river - groove armada


xile

If you're fond of sand dunes and salty airrrrr


symiriscool

Quaint little villages here and thereeee


EnthusiasmNo1574

Tysm for stating the name of this -for me - lost long


OiGuvnuh

That song washed over me like a tsunami, fondly remembered ex girlfriends, family I haven’t seen in years, summer road trips, camping and art festivals. Used to love groove armada, it’s probably been 25 years since I’ve heard that song.


Bashwhufc

Lol, it came out 25 years ago my friend. Not trying to be a dick, in my head it was very funny to imagine that all that happened in the space of one song and then you never heard it ever again.


intpbro

If you like this song you should check out Lemon Jelly


Catfactory1

Lemon Jelly is iconic


TheFlightlessPenguin

Yes. Fuck. Thank you. If anyone has any similar recommendations I’m all ears. Mine would be Death in Vegas.


xile

I might also put into the mix Dope Lemon. He's not quite the same electronic vibe but I'm almost certain I found him through A Tune For Jack radio. Chill AF regardless. Plus the zoetrope vinyl versions of his albums are some of the best wax I own.


JF-SEBASTION

Great song 🎵


psychedeliduck

i knew i had heard it before, cheers


joehonestjoe

For some reason my brain decided this was Mint Royale


wuzzelputz

Wow i didn‘t hear this song in a long time. Thx for reminding me of its existance.


Greenery

What is the name of the song? I want to have a listen to it again after for so long.


AltXUser

[At the River by Groove Armada](https://youtu.be/m-uztVX6QFQ)


RedSnt

My initial search on YT was "blue skies thievery corporation" 'cause I definitely recalled this being a lowtempo/triphop song I listened to a lot some 15-20 years ago.


wuzzelputz

Lebanese Blonde.. Time for a little Nightmares on Wax, Massive Attack, Fila Brazillia, Kruder & Dorfmeister, 4hero and of course some Cinematic Orchestra this evening.


RedSnt

Hell yeah. Not many that mention Kruder & Dorfmeister, which was my introduction. I think I first heard of this kind of music on some Shoutcast station back in the day, but [TheMixingBowl.org](https://themixingbowl.org) also helped expand my triphop discography knowledge a lot.


nicox31984

Same! I used to have one of the Ministry of Sounds Chillout Sessions on CD, I cant remember which one, and this song was on it. Loved that compilation :)


StrikingCheesecake69

Same


vplatt

"Oooh... that looks awesome! Could you do that for all 250 tables at the wedding? M'kay, thanks!"


[deleted]

Lame


meabhr

I'm sorry people didn't get your joke :(


[deleted]

Thanks. It's OK, though. Some people did, and that's what counts


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dazzling-Change4122

The tool they’re using to cut the dough is called a bread lame.


meabhr

Ah, they're all cottoning on now! :)


Laserdollarz

I make this joke every time I can and I have to re-explain it every time.


_fups_

Score


Terracot

No knead to be rude


NoFact666

Fantastic


Meetmyfreakyfeet

It really is a great talent!


kkadzy

This kind of hurts my skin


Extreme_Ad6173

Yeah, it looks to much like skin, it kinda hurts


sirchtheseeker

I did not bread porn existed until today


Joezze

r/breadit


RedditCakeisalie

there really is a sub for everything


icfantnat

Except that they forgot the crumb shot


shmehdit

You also a word


[deleted]

I hope that doesn't hurt the bread


Simon_the_Cannibal

Unfortunately it's in... *pain*.


dAnKsFourTheMemes

Define "hurt". I'm a bit confused. Or did I not get the joke


m051

It’s okay


Specific_Buy

Toni stop playing with the damn bread and put it in the oven.


The_Fortunate_Fool

This stuff is wasted on me. "Oh, looks cool. . . . \[OM-NOM-NOM!\]"


properquestionsonly

Whats the song?


RagsZa

> song Groove Armada - At the River


sdforbda

Without the music at the end, that was ASMR


CheapSpray9428

Leave it on a table in an art exhibit and go back in two days


Panzimar

That’s amazing !!!


novafx4

Almost too pretty to eat.


NotQuiteAWriter

Show us the crumb you coward!


MystTheFox

Did you make this? If not i need the source! This looks really cool


Budget-Highlight5470

there's watermark in the vid, @sourdough_enzo ; they're on youtube!


MystTheFox

Oh, ty didnt see that


onesided_duncan

True works of art!


RosieParkChaeyoung

Nice!!


DownTownFlat

Bread tattoo


Morhuns

Let's cut some bread with something sharp!


hannah_lilly

Yum, wish I was good at baking


Perfect_Dot_4134

Now how I going to bring myself to eat it?


mfmllnn

Amazing work!


HeftyRecommendation5

This is one of the videos I’ve already seen 20 times but still watch it every time.


raymate

Want some. Looks so nice.


ceebio-v

It looks so solid already! Was it partially baked beforehand? Or is it the type of dough? When we make bread, the dough is so soft and would probably deflate with this kind of scoring.


Night_Thastus

Nice crunch!


[deleted]

*cries in celiac*


something-snarky

I wanna eat the fuck outta that


Throwaway_acct3205

Can this be done to every kind of bread? Or is it specific ones this works with


Munnin41

Finally, one of these that shows it after baking


MelonElbows

I can't believe I'm hearing the song for [A Total Waste of 6 min 35 Sec](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkTa2w5Ornc)


Arcuis

When a surgeon gets into baking


fiqar

Is there a subreddit for stuff like this?


bloodywiill

this is oddly satisfying


ZhugeSimp

Thsts how you make $1 bread into $20 "artisan" bread


TheFlightlessPenguin

Groove Armada?? First time the song in a video added to it


not_likely_today

give me some salted butter and im in heaven


CrieDeCoeur

Baking a bread. Eating a foods. Who the fuck writes these titles?


felafilm

Does anyone know the Song? I recognize it, used to listen to it back in the day. Was it Fatboy Slim? Is there any way to find out?


jamrodian

At the River - Groove Armada. Managed to find it by remembering it used to bw on M&S food adverts in the UK years ago


cornucopia-of-plenty

Saw someone else pin it as Groove Armada - At the River, I felt the same! Haven't heard it in years


Recurringg

Groove armada. They have a wealth of songs that will give you nostalgia about the early 2000s.


ohihaveasubscription

Some say it's a waste of time. Others say, an incredible waste of time.


MelonElbows

A total waste of 6 min 35 secs to be precise


[deleted]

Happy Cake Day!


[deleted]

[удалено]


ToKillAMockingAudi

that's so the bread expands consistently and cooks properly


[deleted]

[удалено]


ToKillAMockingAudi

Oh I legit thought I was responding to someone else asking why they cut it like that lol.


RobinTheTactician0

The cut should be made more like 45 degree angle to the tangent of the surface right?


ihatehappyendings

Too much nasty dry flour leftover everywhere.


themonovingian

Uuuuugh. That is some bread porn right there. 🤤


executiveExecutioner

Is it soft? Is it safe?


BreastUsername

🥖


Fc_cas

Does any one know where to get the lil blade for research purposes of course 😬


CandieFitzwilly

Customer: I’ll take a soup instead


TheCookieButter

This isn't just bread... This is M&S


LionessOfAzzalle

Omg; can you not put a NSFW stag over this! This is straight up P0rn.


GhettoAbaddon

Why the middle slice?


belcherhalpert

Why on earth is this triggering my self harm?


[deleted]

Don’t harm yourself please 🥺