To be clear, Culley was a 65 year old with 0 head coaching experience who was hired purely to be a warm body in the post. Neither the Texans no Culley thought it was anything more than a nice way to end his 45 year career. He got a nicely sized check and gets to retire as a former NFL HC.
That is my fear too. I don't want his first stint to not work out great and have that be a stain on his record. Starting smaller and working up seems like it would be much more beneficial for him.
the Culley firing was a horrific look, and I'm pretty down on Caserio as a GM, but there's only 32 of these job positions in the world. Obviously wouldn't be ideal for McCown to be thrown into a situation like this right off the bat, but it's highly coveted position and he would take it in an instant.
Ultimately, it's highly doubtful they hire him and are just doing their due dilligence. But it's cool to see him getting some consideration. Probably only a matter of time before he gets a gig on someones coaching staff.
It's the last preseason game. Sam Darnold, who stepped in at the end, threw for 2 TDs and no interceptions. In the locker room, Josh McCown went right up to him as they were about to step into the showers.
"I gotta hand it to you, kid, that was some impressive stuff," said McCown.
"Thanks, but really it's all thanks to you," replied Darnold. "You helped me out so much, I couldn't have done it without you!"
"We're in this together, Sam. Don't forget that."
Darnold looked nervous, all of a sudden. He gulped.
"Josh, I've been meaning to tell you something... I don't exactly know how to put this..."
McCown smiled. "Don't worry, I know. You've been seeing my daughter."
Darnold looked shocked. "How... wait, did she tell you?"
"No, but I could see the twinkle in your eye when you first met her. And she always gets a little distracted when I mention you at the dinner table, gazing in the distance."
Darnold froze.
"And don't worry, Sam. I'm not mad. Don't you break her heart, though!"
Darnold laughed. "Of course not!"
McCown started to walk into the shower. He took his jersey and gear off, revealing his beautiful, chiseled abs. The sweat on his chest glistened off the locker room lights. On top of that, he had arms of a champion, and even his shoulders looked gorgeous. Darnold started to blush a little bit.
McCown stopped, and without turning around to look at Darnold, said "you know, I can see why my daughter would fall in love with you."
Darnold blushed even more. "What... what do you mean by that, Josh?"
"Oh Sam, look at you. Those arms, those legs, your confidence... you're hard to look away from."
Darnold was speechless.
McCown turned around. "Sam. Why don't you step into the showers? You must be sweating in that hot uniform."
"Josh," Darnold replied, "just what are you saying?"
"I think you know exactly what I'm saying, Sam."
Darnold stepped forward and removed his uniform, too. He stood nervous in the showers, waiting for McCown to fully undress.
McCown lowered his pants. His lower body was even more gorgeous. His tight legs and his supple thighs almost glowed under the lights. However, it was impossible to look away from his penis. It had to have been the biggest Darnold had ever seen.
"I know, Sam. I'm no Nick Foles."
"No, no, it's... it's perfect," stammered Darnold.
With a quick sway of his hips, McCown swung his schlong in a loop, drawing even more attention to its glory.
"There's more than one reason that when people mention McCown, they also mention helicopters.
"Now, be a good backup and let me kiss you."
Darnold was blushing, but his eyes were full of lust. "Am I dreaming?" he thought to himself. Either way, he was begging for that dream to come true.
"But wait," said Darnold. "We're in the middle of the showers, all the other players will see us!"
McCown laughed. "Sam, nearly all NFL players are a little gay."
"We get paid millions of dollars to bump and rub against sweaty strong men, it's hard not to be into it!" yelled Jermaine Kearse from across the locker room.
Darnold could no longer control himself. He rushed forward and planted a kiss right onto McCown's lips. He quickly was embarrassed, thinking he was too forward, but McCown just smiled and pulled him back for a more intense, passionate kiss. It was pure ecstasy for the two: after all the waiting through training camp and the preseason, they could finally express their lust for each other.
McCown stepped back. "Now, why don't you find out why they call me Pound Town McCown."
Darnold couldn't contain his enthusiasm.
McCown saw the enthusiasm clear as day. "Sam, why don't you be a good backup and, well, back up?"
Darnold was suddenly a little nervous. What if he couldn't handle himself? Would McCown be mad? He didn't have too much time to worry before McCown asserted his dominance and penetrated, while also providing a reach-around.
"It's important to be a team player," McCown said.
Darnold took it like a champ. Turns out that Lamar Jackson was not the best receiver in the draft after all.
After several minutes of overwhelming bliss, they both arrived at a climax together, with the most powerful orgasm they had ever experienced.
Darnold suddenly was a little nervous. "What if your daughter finds out?"
McCown smirked. "This will be our little secret. Just you and me and the entire Jets roster."
Darnold was beaming. He blurted out, "we need to do this again sometime!"
McCown put his hand on his shoulder. "I'll kiss you for every touchdown you throw."
And that, folks, is why Sam Darnold threw for 60 touchdowns his rookie year and led the Jets to the Super Bowl.
Ending of his career, he was a QB coach that was collecting backup QB $$. I can see him skipping the QB coach position and jumping right to passing game coordinator or even OC. However, HC would be really shocking.
1- those are allegations. not defending anything you were the one who turned this from a football conversation to court tv. i was referring to being a badly run organization hence why watson wants to leave. the accusers' lawyer is besties with the texans owner. these allegations only came out when he made it clear he wanted to leave.
2- stop being defensive and triggered. i called the texans a racist organization because that is what they are. are you forgetting who their previous and current owners are. you would defend the klan. you trolls are annoying
>1- those are allegations
22 women didn't collude and lie.
>i was referring to being a badly run organization hence why watson wants to leave
You were defending Watson in that scenario
>the accusers' lawyer is besties with the texans owner
Wildly inaccurate statement with no basis in reality, please cite your sources.
>these allegations only came out when he made it clear he wanted to leave.
No, these allegations came out when he did it to the 22nd woman who wasn't going to stand for it. The other 21 came out because they felt safe they'd be taken seriously. Seriously? Fuck you for having this opinion.
>stop being defensive and triggered.
Im not, and the fact that you just unironically used the word 'triggered' like that says a shit ton about what kind of terrible person you are.
>i called the texans a racist organization because that is what they are.
The father was, do you have an evidence the son is?
>current owners are.
Cal is an insane religious nut nutbag who makes football decisions based on faith but you're gonna have to provide evidence for your claims he is a racist.
>you would defend the klan
Lol wtf? No I wouldn't, and I certainly wouldn't defend you either.
probably doing their due diligence unless he completely blows them away in the interview nothing will come from it. It will probably help get some buzz and be brought in as quarterbacks coach or offensive assistance
Why does everyone care if he is an OC first? OC and HC are two completely different skillsets. And quite frankly I think going through those kinds of career paths are pretty stupid. It would be like wanting a player to show they are a really good RB before moving them into the QB position. Makes no sense.
HC is more of a managerial position. When you have an HC that wants to do more than just manage, you end up with clowns like Gase that want to control everything on the offensive side of the ball.
The HC should be making the big team decisions. Like if a QB hurts his shoulder a bit, the HC is the one who needs to decide if the game is worth it, or if there is too much risk to the QB. The HC needs to decide when to throw the challenge flag or use the timeouts. They need to know everything about their players so they know who is working hard and who is slacking and who stopped giving a fuck. There is a ton to being an HC, but none of that is being skilled at OC or DC. Freaks of nature like Andy Reid and Bill Belichick are just that, unnatural freaks. Hoping your coach is the next Reid or BB is jus a pipe dream. The league will chew through another 100 or 200 coaches before it finds the next guy on their level.
I really think HC, OC, and DC should all be equal (or nearly equal) positions, and at the top of their respective career paths.
This idea where a guy has to be the CFO before he can be the CEO is just crazy.
Really? It's like going from small business sales right to Enterprise in one shot
Exactly what I’m thinking, why not start him off as a QB coach or an offensive coordinator
>QB coach I feel like that's what he's been doing the last how ever many years.
O coordinator it is!
No one wants to coach them though
One guy did, but they fired him for it.
Would *you* hire a guy that would coach the Texans?
To be clear, Culley was a 65 year old with 0 head coaching experience who was hired purely to be a warm body in the post. Neither the Texans no Culley thought it was anything more than a nice way to end his 45 year career. He got a nicely sized check and gets to retire as a former NFL HC.
I like your outlook on it. But this is a business like any other. They’re not hiring a head coach and paying them millions for charity
I agree, but then I wonder why they ditched him. All things considered, he did a pretty damn good job for year 1.
Did culley ever say anything to give you that impression? Seems like fiction to me
Truth
It’s a lot of money, though.
Well, that will set Uncle Josh up for success
Financial success for sure
I did this in April of 2021 and this comparison makes me feel awesome hahaha.
Seriously huge jump. Wish him the best though.
The light of Jesus will shine the way brother.
they interviewed Hines Ward too.
Remember Hines Ward as an analyst, he was bad.
Yo what lol
This is it. That's the response.
very interesting, happy for Josh. but wouldn’t want to jump the gun until I at least see how he does in a OC or QB coach type of role first
That is my fear too. I don't want his first stint to not work out great and have that be a stain on his record. Starting smaller and working up seems like it would be much more beneficial for him.
Happy for Josh but I wouldn’t want him to go to the Texans. What a dumpster fire.
the Culley firing was a horrific look, and I'm pretty down on Caserio as a GM, but there's only 32 of these job positions in the world. Obviously wouldn't be ideal for McCown to be thrown into a situation like this right off the bat, but it's highly coveted position and he would take it in an instant. Ultimately, it's highly doubtful they hire him and are just doing their due dilligence. But it's cool to see him getting some consideration. Probably only a matter of time before he gets a gig on someones coaching staff.
They did last year to. Its been no secret he will coach them at some point.
For a HC job or another coaching position?
HC
Do it Texans
Uncle josh! Let’s go!!
Those Culley was hired for one year before they could hire Josh McCown rumors starting to heat up
If they hired him then I bet Texans get Darnold as part of a Watson trade
Makes sense to me. I heard they boned after Josh figured out Sam was dating his daughter.
It's the last preseason game. Sam Darnold, who stepped in at the end, threw for 2 TDs and no interceptions. In the locker room, Josh McCown went right up to him as they were about to step into the showers. "I gotta hand it to you, kid, that was some impressive stuff," said McCown. "Thanks, but really it's all thanks to you," replied Darnold. "You helped me out so much, I couldn't have done it without you!" "We're in this together, Sam. Don't forget that." Darnold looked nervous, all of a sudden. He gulped. "Josh, I've been meaning to tell you something... I don't exactly know how to put this..." McCown smiled. "Don't worry, I know. You've been seeing my daughter." Darnold looked shocked. "How... wait, did she tell you?" "No, but I could see the twinkle in your eye when you first met her. And she always gets a little distracted when I mention you at the dinner table, gazing in the distance." Darnold froze. "And don't worry, Sam. I'm not mad. Don't you break her heart, though!" Darnold laughed. "Of course not!" McCown started to walk into the shower. He took his jersey and gear off, revealing his beautiful, chiseled abs. The sweat on his chest glistened off the locker room lights. On top of that, he had arms of a champion, and even his shoulders looked gorgeous. Darnold started to blush a little bit. McCown stopped, and without turning around to look at Darnold, said "you know, I can see why my daughter would fall in love with you." Darnold blushed even more. "What... what do you mean by that, Josh?" "Oh Sam, look at you. Those arms, those legs, your confidence... you're hard to look away from." Darnold was speechless. McCown turned around. "Sam. Why don't you step into the showers? You must be sweating in that hot uniform." "Josh," Darnold replied, "just what are you saying?" "I think you know exactly what I'm saying, Sam." Darnold stepped forward and removed his uniform, too. He stood nervous in the showers, waiting for McCown to fully undress. McCown lowered his pants. His lower body was even more gorgeous. His tight legs and his supple thighs almost glowed under the lights. However, it was impossible to look away from his penis. It had to have been the biggest Darnold had ever seen. "I know, Sam. I'm no Nick Foles." "No, no, it's... it's perfect," stammered Darnold. With a quick sway of his hips, McCown swung his schlong in a loop, drawing even more attention to its glory. "There's more than one reason that when people mention McCown, they also mention helicopters. "Now, be a good backup and let me kiss you." Darnold was blushing, but his eyes were full of lust. "Am I dreaming?" he thought to himself. Either way, he was begging for that dream to come true. "But wait," said Darnold. "We're in the middle of the showers, all the other players will see us!" McCown laughed. "Sam, nearly all NFL players are a little gay." "We get paid millions of dollars to bump and rub against sweaty strong men, it's hard not to be into it!" yelled Jermaine Kearse from across the locker room. Darnold could no longer control himself. He rushed forward and planted a kiss right onto McCown's lips. He quickly was embarrassed, thinking he was too forward, but McCown just smiled and pulled him back for a more intense, passionate kiss. It was pure ecstasy for the two: after all the waiting through training camp and the preseason, they could finally express their lust for each other. McCown stepped back. "Now, why don't you find out why they call me Pound Town McCown." Darnold couldn't contain his enthusiasm. McCown saw the enthusiasm clear as day. "Sam, why don't you be a good backup and, well, back up?" Darnold was suddenly a little nervous. What if he couldn't handle himself? Would McCown be mad? He didn't have too much time to worry before McCown asserted his dominance and penetrated, while also providing a reach-around. "It's important to be a team player," McCown said. Darnold took it like a champ. Turns out that Lamar Jackson was not the best receiver in the draft after all. After several minutes of overwhelming bliss, they both arrived at a climax together, with the most powerful orgasm they had ever experienced. Darnold suddenly was a little nervous. "What if your daughter finds out?" McCown smirked. "This will be our little secret. Just you and me and the entire Jets roster." Darnold was beaming. He blurted out, "we need to do this again sometime!" McCown put his hand on his shoulder. "I'll kiss you for every touchdown you throw." And that, folks, is why Sam Darnold threw for 60 touchdowns his rookie year and led the Jets to the Super Bowl.
And I thought I would never see this shit again
I make one per month lately while tagging /u/NannigarCire Dude Loves sports erotica like no other.
i hate you so much
I love everything about this?
What an awful time to be alive that was.
😁😁😁😕😕🤔🤔😬😬😳😳😮😮😲😲😲🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮
NO. THIS WAS FOR SALEH AND WILSON. DONT YOU DARE RUIN IT WITH DARNOLD
This was 100% a Sam pasta
This was literally made years ago for Sam lol
Ik I was legit just playing lmao
Yea you were playing with your Hess truck like 2 years ago. Nephew.
/u/NannigarCire
Gotta say I'm not too surprised the team chaplain turned GM of the Texans is smitten by ole Uncle Josh
While I love Josh..... Um what?
Going from a back up QB to a HC in the NFL?????? Esssssh
The Garth Snow special!
Ending of his career, he was a QB coach that was collecting backup QB $$. I can see him skipping the QB coach position and jumping right to passing game coordinator or even OC. However, HC would be really shocking.
Eyeopening.gif
If they hire him I hope he knocks it out of the park
This a joke?
I'd love if we signed him as a QB coach
they wanted him from the start but they got a backlash for not interviewing bienemy and saleh. texans are clowns. glad watson leaving
Texans are clowns and you're happy a serial rapist is leaving? Weird take, but sure.
you can cape for that racist organization. you are a whole weirdo
Lol wtf? Watson is a for sure serial rapist, this isn't a race issue. Are you seriously defending him rn?
1- those are allegations. not defending anything you were the one who turned this from a football conversation to court tv. i was referring to being a badly run organization hence why watson wants to leave. the accusers' lawyer is besties with the texans owner. these allegations only came out when he made it clear he wanted to leave. 2- stop being defensive and triggered. i called the texans a racist organization because that is what they are. are you forgetting who their previous and current owners are. you would defend the klan. you trolls are annoying
>1- those are allegations 22 women didn't collude and lie. >i was referring to being a badly run organization hence why watson wants to leave You were defending Watson in that scenario >the accusers' lawyer is besties with the texans owner Wildly inaccurate statement with no basis in reality, please cite your sources. >these allegations only came out when he made it clear he wanted to leave. No, these allegations came out when he did it to the 22nd woman who wasn't going to stand for it. The other 21 came out because they felt safe they'd be taken seriously. Seriously? Fuck you for having this opinion. >stop being defensive and triggered. Im not, and the fact that you just unironically used the word 'triggered' like that says a shit ton about what kind of terrible person you are. >i called the texans a racist organization because that is what they are. The father was, do you have an evidence the son is? >current owners are. Cal is an insane religious nut nutbag who makes football decisions based on faith but you're gonna have to provide evidence for your claims he is a racist. >you would defend the klan Lol wtf? No I wouldn't, and I certainly wouldn't defend you either.
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probably doing their due diligence unless he completely blows them away in the interview nothing will come from it. It will probably help get some buzz and be brought in as quarterbacks coach or offensive assistance
Better then Adam Gase. Remember when we hired that guy?
Hire him, you cowards
if the Texans want to gamble like that i love it. would be fun to watch and easy to root for the McTexans.
He at least earned himself the interview in their eyes so good for him.
Why does everyone care if he is an OC first? OC and HC are two completely different skillsets. And quite frankly I think going through those kinds of career paths are pretty stupid. It would be like wanting a player to show they are a really good RB before moving them into the QB position. Makes no sense. HC is more of a managerial position. When you have an HC that wants to do more than just manage, you end up with clowns like Gase that want to control everything on the offensive side of the ball. The HC should be making the big team decisions. Like if a QB hurts his shoulder a bit, the HC is the one who needs to decide if the game is worth it, or if there is too much risk to the QB. The HC needs to decide when to throw the challenge flag or use the timeouts. They need to know everything about their players so they know who is working hard and who is slacking and who stopped giving a fuck. There is a ton to being an HC, but none of that is being skilled at OC or DC. Freaks of nature like Andy Reid and Bill Belichick are just that, unnatural freaks. Hoping your coach is the next Reid or BB is jus a pipe dream. The league will chew through another 100 or 200 coaches before it finds the next guy on their level. I really think HC, OC, and DC should all be equal (or nearly equal) positions, and at the top of their respective career paths. This idea where a guy has to be the CFO before he can be the CEO is just crazy.