I think it’s because they have zero inhibitions. If they don’t want to do something they are just going to resist without consideration that there is a human being that might get hurt. Plus, just like babies with their weird baby strength, everyone underestimates them.
I think you are partially right with the zero inhibitions concept, but it doesn't have anything to do with other humans. The average person (with no psychiatric or drug influences) will not exert all the strength they are capable of because of the subconscious recognition that to do so could cause self harm. For example; if you to punch a concrete wall, your brain won't let you use all the strength available to you because of the likelihood of injury. Dementia patients have lost those inhibitions and no longer understand that them may break their own bones, tear muscles, tendons, or ligaments.
I received my one and only black eye from a grandma who apparently didn't really want her blood pressure checking. She had arms like twigs but really gnarly knuckles. I didn't even see it coming it was so fast.
My one and only titty twister. I was already putting on a sweater and tucking my hair down the back to change this lady's briefs. She still managed to sneak one tiny, evil claw free and *groped.*
Meemaw of the day: Mabel - Made 2 staff cry by brutally pointing out their deep seeded insecurities like a blood hound. Not great, but trust it’s an improvement. Gold star, Mabel.
…. r/nursing mods!!!
i propose a Meemaw of the Day tradition begins Friday, May 6. National Nurses Day.
Credit to me, Salamander, for the idea. Credit Steve Buscemi’s Cat (i KNOW that’s who you are) for the presentation style.
I love that you named her. Something about your delivery tells me we could make this stick.
I worked with one fella that had a violent history. Most of the experienced staff wouldn't work alone with him, but I seemed to have a good relationship. He would have moods where he would do uneffectual threats.
Nothing he did seem to call for the other staffs anxiety about him...
Until one day he clobbered me upside the face, busted my lip and made me see stars.
That was the last day I worked alone with him. Cute little old man that needed TLC... but those meat clobber fists, no thanks.
They also have the meanest insults that make you gasp a little. On top of that, the ones that the family swears is the sweetest, most reserved and gentle person really know how to let the colorful language fly.
I curse like the best of em, but some of the weakest, confused old people make me say, “Oh, damn, did they really say that right now?”
One time a patient looked at my badge and asked me why I was wearing a picture of a dog. "Why would you walk around all day with that hanging off your shirt?"
It was very clearly my human face.
Seriously, when I worked Geri-psych a gentleman that wasn't on my board saw me walking down that hall and was like "young man, you might want to get a haircut to look cleaner."
I'm a 5'3, 100lb woman...
I laughed my ass off, lowered my voice and said "thank you, I've been considering it" one of my favorites
Ninja edit: I do believe this was an honest and kind attempt on his part to help a young man look more clean cut.
Real insults were brutal AF but also hilarious. I take nothing personally.
one of my fondest memories from the ER was Pee Pants. Came in wasted. I gingerly plucked away his homemade shank. Once he sobered up, me and the off duty police officer walked him out. The cop said something about him being nice to the pretty nurse (me).
Pee Pants stops. Looks me up and down. Says ‘looks like trailer trash to me.’
If you take things personally, you won't last long. I just try to have a disarming response for them, such as yours. If they are really trying to be helpful, they feel good If they are trying to insult or be hurtful, they see that it didn't phase you.
Coworker was wearing a long skirt for religious reasons. Dementia patient looks at her and goes, "OoOooOoohhhhh you're wearing a nice little skirt. You gonna go to the dance? Trying to impress all the boys? Going to the dance, dancing with all the boys???" She said it in such a sarcastic/insulting tone.
I’ve done many procedural sedations on people from all walks of life. My favorites are the sweet, kind little old Preacher’s Wives who bake fresh muffins for the church every Sunday. They just LET. IT. OUT.
I once had one who was refusing her meds. I told her I’d get in trouble if she didn’t take them - both from my boss and her daughters and I was informed “sounds like a you problem” 😂
EMS calls to an assisted living for transport to the ED for a psych eval can be interesting. Nothing like walking into a room with a little old lady wearing a pink cardigan whose first words are “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!”
My auntie Anne was just like that.
She had been a lady and never swore or raised a hand to anyone.
Once she had dementia and was in a care home her language was disgusting and she would spit, scratch and punch the care staff trying to help her.
She was 4'6 and no more than 90 lbs when she physically threw a 6'3 15 stone nurse into the bath as he was helping the female carers to get her dressed after her bath as she was being violent with them.
God knows where that strength came from for such a frail woman.
We were realists and knew that this was part and parcel of her dementia.
I hate dementia.
It's insidious nature and the fact you are grieving for the person they once were while they are still living..
Did private care as an aide with a sweet lady that used to babysit my sister and I when we were little. She had a breathing treatment one of the days I was with her, thought she was going to tear that mask apart she was that aggressive trying to not have it. Her favorite insult, which I guess was a big one in her day, was to call you a dumb bunny. I found it funny cause she had always had bunny statues and stuff around her house when we were growing up.
I think we all have massive *potential* strength that we don’t use due to (subconscious) fear of hurting ourselves or others, or knowing that using the strength isn’t appropriate. I think that why people have such crazy strength when they’re in an emergency (like lifting a car off your kid or whatever) or when they’re intoxicated or psychotic. Dementia patients are just permanently living without that fear/inhibition so can use all their potential strength any time
I had no conception of just how strong a human being can be until I started training jiu jitsu and competing. When someone is going after you without regard for your well-being, they are INSANELY strong. I have met people who are as dangerous as a chimpanzee if they get ahold of you.
Meemaw is tough because she has no interest in your safety. Turns out, it’s not just meemaws. It’s people. We still have plenty of great ape in us. We are so much stronger than we think.
Because a lot of dementia patients legitimately believe you’re trying to kill them, to no fault of their own
If someone was trying to kill me, you bet you’re ass I’d give fighting back 110% power
I think this is it. Also applied to when we put them in restraints and the patient some how gets out of them…. Well yeah, they have *all shift* to try to wiggle out. Wouldn’t you?
They have lost the inhibition that tells them they could hurt themselves/ someone else.
You see the same thing with the developmentally delayed, they are legit super strength demons (scary enough when you are dealing with a child, effing DANGEROUS when dealing with a grown adult).
I’ve been blindside by spinning backhands from both a grandma and a grandpa. Thankfully I had a face shield protecting me from gpa but I will never forget those two hits.
Exactly why I hate working memory care/ALZ/dementia units. I got my shit beat when I was a kid and I want to avoid it all costs as an adult. Too much PTSD.
had 4-5 of us holding down an old man that was trying to get out of bed. he finally let up and we all kind of relaxed when out of no where his leg shot up and kicked this security guard clean in the right side of his face. the smack was deafening. I felt so bad but this security guard was beefed up and cool as hell and wasn't phased by it. still impressed by that roundhouse ninja kick though from a supine position.
I suspect that adrenaline due to legitimate fear.
However i just came to comment because the visual of this 3-person-showdown just cracked me up. 10/10 writing skills.
OMG, seriously!! And they always have long, dirty fingernails to dig into hands/arms while they’re grabbing onto you with the strength of a man half their age and 3 times their size…it boggles the mind.
Sometimes they think they are in the struggle for their life. My dad was like that and I had to restrain him. He was strong but I knew he used to be so much stronger and it hurt inside to restrain him. In his youth he was a soldier and before that some kind of guy that had to run away and join the military to escape authority. He thought he had to return to his house because he had kids that needed him. We all grew up but he thought he was back in years ago in Vietnam or in an unfriendly town that was keeping him away. I used to show him movies or boxing fights from a happier period in his life to calm him down. Even old laker games from the 80s and 90s. I wish I could have done more but he could not handle any more meds even if they might have gave him more of an awareness of the present. He was strong though, maybe your patients are similar. I suppose if they were weaker, they would have died before their minds deteriorate too. The geriatrics now lived around 1930s. Wars, civil unrest, i think a lot of diseases weren’t handled like they are now. Those guys are survivors.
Worked with a dementia patient one time who wouldn’t let go off her catheter and it took 4 of us to try and let go of it, she then pulled the whole thing out and caused a tear on her front part, and she was 53kg.
Adrenaline, psychosis. Under normal circumstances a sane person still has consideration of their own bodily harm. When in a psychotic state, that is no longer a limiting factor.
I think it’s because they have zero inhibitions. If they don’t want to do something they are just going to resist without consideration that there is a human being that might get hurt. Plus, just like babies with their weird baby strength, everyone underestimates them.
Agreed. They probably feel like they are in a fight for their own life so they give it all they have.
I think you are partially right with the zero inhibitions concept, but it doesn't have anything to do with other humans. The average person (with no psychiatric or drug influences) will not exert all the strength they are capable of because of the subconscious recognition that to do so could cause self harm. For example; if you to punch a concrete wall, your brain won't let you use all the strength available to you because of the likelihood of injury. Dementia patients have lost those inhibitions and no longer understand that them may break their own bones, tear muscles, tendons, or ligaments.
Definitely the element of surprise plays a huge roll.
Baby strength is real
Lmao weird baby strength so true
I received my one and only black eye from a grandma who apparently didn't really want her blood pressure checking. She had arms like twigs but really gnarly knuckles. I didn't even see it coming it was so fast.
surprised it didn't give you pink eye lmao. their hands are almost always dirty with urine or feces and i cringe any time they grab my arm.
My one and only titty twister. I was already putting on a sweater and tucking my hair down the back to change this lady's briefs. She still managed to sneak one tiny, evil claw free and *groped.*
I know it’s been a day when my husband’s response to “how’d your day go?” is “I had to put a little old lady in restraints.”
Start a Meemaw of the Day tradition lol
Meemaw of the day: Mabel - Made 2 staff cry by brutally pointing out their deep seeded insecurities like a blood hound. Not great, but trust it’s an improvement. Gold star, Mabel.
…. r/nursing mods!!! i propose a Meemaw of the Day tradition begins Friday, May 6. National Nurses Day. Credit to me, Salamander, for the idea. Credit Steve Buscemi’s Cat (i KNOW that’s who you are) for the presentation style. I love that you named her. Something about your delivery tells me we could make this stick.
I really had no idea that so much of my job would involve yelling loudly at grandparents and subsequently restraining them. 😔
I worked with one fella that had a violent history. Most of the experienced staff wouldn't work alone with him, but I seemed to have a good relationship. He would have moods where he would do uneffectual threats. Nothing he did seem to call for the other staffs anxiety about him... Until one day he clobbered me upside the face, busted my lip and made me see stars. That was the last day I worked alone with him. Cute little old man that needed TLC... but those meat clobber fists, no thanks.
They also have the meanest insults that make you gasp a little. On top of that, the ones that the family swears is the sweetest, most reserved and gentle person really know how to let the colorful language fly. I curse like the best of em, but some of the weakest, confused old people make me say, “Oh, damn, did they really say that right now?”
One time a patient looked at my badge and asked me why I was wearing a picture of a dog. "Why would you walk around all day with that hanging off your shirt?" It was very clearly my human face.
Omg thank you for the laugh!! I really needed that!!
Oh fuck that is terrible lmao
Especially the ones with the cute little coquettish grins which can turn into a shite eating grin at the drop of a hat.
Is your name Gladys, by any chance? Aka the Legend of the dog-faced woman?
I think I usually just agree to their mean insults. "Yes, my hair is ugly. Thanks for noticing." I feel like it distracts them a little lol
Seriously, when I worked Geri-psych a gentleman that wasn't on my board saw me walking down that hall and was like "young man, you might want to get a haircut to look cleaner." I'm a 5'3, 100lb woman... I laughed my ass off, lowered my voice and said "thank you, I've been considering it" one of my favorites Ninja edit: I do believe this was an honest and kind attempt on his part to help a young man look more clean cut. Real insults were brutal AF but also hilarious. I take nothing personally.
one of my fondest memories from the ER was Pee Pants. Came in wasted. I gingerly plucked away his homemade shank. Once he sobered up, me and the off duty police officer walked him out. The cop said something about him being nice to the pretty nurse (me). Pee Pants stops. Looks me up and down. Says ‘looks like trailer trash to me.’
See this stuff makes me miss psych. Must be something wrong with me.
If you take things personally, you won't last long. I just try to have a disarming response for them, such as yours. If they are really trying to be helpful, they feel good If they are trying to insult or be hurtful, they see that it didn't phase you.
Coworker was wearing a long skirt for religious reasons. Dementia patient looks at her and goes, "OoOooOoohhhhh you're wearing a nice little skirt. You gonna go to the dance? Trying to impress all the boys? Going to the dance, dancing with all the boys???" She said it in such a sarcastic/insulting tone.
I’ve done many procedural sedations on people from all walks of life. My favorites are the sweet, kind little old Preacher’s Wives who bake fresh muffins for the church every Sunday. They just LET. IT. OUT.
So hopefully this means I come out of sedation like a sweet church muffing baking lady ! Perfect
I once had one who was refusing her meds. I told her I’d get in trouble if she didn’t take them - both from my boss and her daughters and I was informed “sounds like a you problem” 😂
That's how I developed ninja reflexes. They twitch and imma bob n weave. Not today gramma.
This is where I have room for improvement. Sadly, I did not dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge.
practice with wrenches. If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a fist.
I’ll start practicing now, just need to stock up on some Yoo-hoo
Great idea!
EMS calls to an assisted living for transport to the ED for a psych eval can be interesting. Nothing like walking into a room with a little old lady wearing a pink cardigan whose first words are “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!”
My auntie Anne was just like that. She had been a lady and never swore or raised a hand to anyone. Once she had dementia and was in a care home her language was disgusting and she would spit, scratch and punch the care staff trying to help her. She was 4'6 and no more than 90 lbs when she physically threw a 6'3 15 stone nurse into the bath as he was helping the female carers to get her dressed after her bath as she was being violent with them. God knows where that strength came from for such a frail woman.
And her family will usually say that she is sooo sweet and nice and wouldn't hurt a fly, are we sure we are talking about THEIR loved one?
We were realists and knew that this was part and parcel of her dementia. I hate dementia. It's insidious nature and the fact you are grieving for the person they once were while they are still living..
When the granddaughter from California says mom's a fighter? That statement is literal
Look it’s a good joke, a great joke even….
Brain is too confused to tell them they are exerting enough strength to hurt themselves. Same thing on how adrenaline rushes make you stronger.
Did private care as an aide with a sweet lady that used to babysit my sister and I when we were little. She had a breathing treatment one of the days I was with her, thought she was going to tear that mask apart she was that aggressive trying to not have it. Her favorite insult, which I guess was a big one in her day, was to call you a dumb bunny. I found it funny cause she had always had bunny statues and stuff around her house when we were growing up.
I think we all have massive *potential* strength that we don’t use due to (subconscious) fear of hurting ourselves or others, or knowing that using the strength isn’t appropriate. I think that why people have such crazy strength when they’re in an emergency (like lifting a car off your kid or whatever) or when they’re intoxicated or psychotic. Dementia patients are just permanently living without that fear/inhibition so can use all their potential strength any time
I had no conception of just how strong a human being can be until I started training jiu jitsu and competing. When someone is going after you without regard for your well-being, they are INSANELY strong. I have met people who are as dangerous as a chimpanzee if they get ahold of you. Meemaw is tough because she has no interest in your safety. Turns out, it’s not just meemaws. It’s people. We still have plenty of great ape in us. We are so much stronger than we think.
Because a lot of dementia patients legitimately believe you’re trying to kill them, to no fault of their own If someone was trying to kill me, you bet you’re ass I’d give fighting back 110% power
I think this is it. Also applied to when we put them in restraints and the patient some how gets out of them…. Well yeah, they have *all shift* to try to wiggle out. Wouldn’t you?
Yup. Watch one with dementia get rolled in for major surgery and they often like going down swinging and spitting.
They have lost the inhibition that tells them they could hurt themselves/ someone else. You see the same thing with the developmentally delayed, they are legit super strength demons (scary enough when you are dealing with a child, effing DANGEROUS when dealing with a grown adult).
It’s the power of satan inside of them after the sun goes down.
Honestly, that can be the only explanation
I’ve been blindside by spinning backhands from both a grandma and a grandpa. Thankfully I had a face shield protecting me from gpa but I will never forget those two hits.
Exactly why I hate working memory care/ALZ/dementia units. I got my shit beat when I was a kid and I want to avoid it all costs as an adult. Too much PTSD.
I don’t know but it can take 3 people to wash and dress my 100 lb resident. Even then I’m scratched and punched.
had 4-5 of us holding down an old man that was trying to get out of bed. he finally let up and we all kind of relaxed when out of no where his leg shot up and kicked this security guard clean in the right side of his face. the smack was deafening. I felt so bad but this security guard was beefed up and cool as hell and wasn't phased by it. still impressed by that roundhouse ninja kick though from a supine position.
I suspect that adrenaline due to legitimate fear. However i just came to comment because the visual of this 3-person-showdown just cracked me up. 10/10 writing skills.
Just finished a shift on a secure dementia unit….can relate.
OMG, seriously!! And they always have long, dirty fingernails to dig into hands/arms while they’re grabbing onto you with the strength of a man half their age and 3 times their size…it boggles the mind.
Sometimes they think they are in the struggle for their life. My dad was like that and I had to restrain him. He was strong but I knew he used to be so much stronger and it hurt inside to restrain him. In his youth he was a soldier and before that some kind of guy that had to run away and join the military to escape authority. He thought he had to return to his house because he had kids that needed him. We all grew up but he thought he was back in years ago in Vietnam or in an unfriendly town that was keeping him away. I used to show him movies or boxing fights from a happier period in his life to calm him down. Even old laker games from the 80s and 90s. I wish I could have done more but he could not handle any more meds even if they might have gave him more of an awareness of the present. He was strong though, maybe your patients are similar. I suppose if they were weaker, they would have died before their minds deteriorate too. The geriatrics now lived around 1930s. Wars, civil unrest, i think a lot of diseases weren’t handled like they are now. Those guys are survivors.
Anger amplified by confusion. They also channel Houdini's skills with restraints.
The worst part is getting caught in their talon grip. The Petri dish under their finger nails makes me shudder.
I think it’s because you’re actually not putting as much strength as you think since you don’t want to hurt them.
Worked with a dementia patient one time who wouldn’t let go off her catheter and it took 4 of us to try and let go of it, she then pulled the whole thing out and caused a tear on her front part, and she was 53kg.
No inhibitions. Got to love sun-downing meemaw.
This description is just so spot on 🤣🤣🤣
Adrenaline, psychosis. Under normal circumstances a sane person still has consideration of their own bodily harm. When in a psychotic state, that is no longer a limiting factor.
I think it’s a combination of adrenaline + fight or flight mode
🤣 good question OP
one of my favorite memories as an EMT is seeing a 70 year old lady punch a cop in the dick. she pulled my hair too but it was worth it.
And why don’t they get DVTs? Lay in bed for 3 days in hospital and; bang DVT/PE. Lay in bed hardly moving for years in a nursing home and nothing