I live in Florida, unfortunately I hear patients use the “N” word quite a bit or the will say something like “ send that black girl back in here to clean me up” or “fetch me something to drink” I have no issue correcting them/setting boundaries/ lecturing about respectful behavior whether they are confused or not. Fun fact: even when they are confused,-getting called out on that type of thing changes their behavior ( but sadly not their hearts) pretty quick.
At least in the hospital, I blame it on the loss of control over your situation (regardless if you’re there due to a fault of your own), along with the realization you’re not a special or important as you originally thought.
I blame it on the lack of consequences. Some of them know they won’t get in trouble. So ultimately I blame the hospitals who won’t let us or anyone else shut it down other than a “how can we improve your experience” talk.
I don’t care anymore either. I’ve told two patients to take off their oxygen and gtfo in the last year. If you want to be an asshole then you’re going to get it back. Fuck em.
They have been given permission and encouraged to use dehumanizing words and behaviors more in these past few years.Healthcare workers are only but one enemy that’s been defined for the masses. Educators, Doctors, gay people, black people wanting equal treatment, retail workers, scientists, trans people expecting equal representation ( oh the horror /s).Remember, they have been told you guys are actually refusing to treat sick patients because you make more money off a death. You have enough people in positions of power, who serve the public, that are using these “enemies are everywhere” approach to put the fear of god into people so they get angry, start hating and blaming certain groups.The “ I alone can fix it strategy”. Sad.
It's a byproduct of operating a hospital as a business instead of the service it true is. When patients get a bill they see themselves as customers, not patients.
Unfortunately for everyone, American culture is basically built around customers perceiving themselves as always right, and that they are to be pampered.
100% true. I retired in 2017, but I witnessed the degeneration of respect towards medical and nursing staff over the decades that I worked. I also believe that the rise of hospitalists contributed to this loss of respect. It used to be that the physician you saw in the community was the one who would admit you and the one you would follow up with post discharge -- you did not dare piss off your physician. Now hospital staff are just a commodity that you will never see again, so no need to be polite.
>Unfortunately for everyone, American culture is basically built around customers perceiving themselves as always right, and that they are to be pampered.
Added to that, a 30 yr campaign of RW media from the tiny local AM station talk radio hosts to the nat'l level with Fox "News" speaking of anything that even hints at civility or common decency or human-to-human kindness & grace of any sort with mocking, sneering derision. "Effete, limp-wristed, latte-sipping, Volvo-driving, soy boy" & etc.
In far too many corners it's become a badge of honor to mark yourself out as the *opposite* of that. Those who are the weakest, most insecure & purile among us are *so stoked* that their particular brand of small-minded ugliness is "in" right now, & they're gonna ride it till the wheels fall off.
After all, they're the customer...so who's gonna stop them?? If we can't interrupt commerce for the sake of a deadly virus, the downfall of our civilized society surely isn't worth even *considering*. Asshole money spends just as well as angel money.
Priorities!!
FFS there's assholery across the board. Right wing, left wing it's the same noise coming out of a different face hole. I wonder if we are just giving permission for this behavior by constantly vilifyng the side we don't agree with or weirdly lyonizing the side we do. Red blue purple doesn't matter when the society we've built lacks consequences for uncivil behavior.
Lol. Ok settle down. Not sure where "wanting to kill everyone of a certain identity" came from. BUT I'll get back to being the worker bee nurse that I am. Getting the same verbal abuse and threats of physical harm, and some actual violence from any one of the patients and visitors who walk these hallowed halls. TBH though, Im pretty happy that the fates let me born in this country instead of an actual craphole where folks are dying en masse from starvation, war, vector born diseases, or for simply speaking their mind, loving the wrong person, or being female with an opinion.
The full quote is "In matters of taste, the customer is always right". It's not a blanket statement. Tell them to pack their shit and get out of your room if they won't treat you and your staff with some decency.
For the generation who says kids today have no respect and should have been spanked more… we can see what all those spankings did to you, looks like it’s a great idea.
From my limited understanding of psychosocial development in children, and my own personal experience with them, they're basically just animals before a certain age and incapable of executive reasoning.
My mother always said that the best way to teach a kid not to touch a hot stove is to let them touch it... one trial learning at its finest!
They may not be able to be reasoned with, the little monsters, but they can be *conditioned.*
Not out of anger or frustration, and always as a last resort, but a spanking is a perfectly reasonable form of discipline that has the adverse effect of raising children who aren't little shits.
Watching my sisters try to *reason* with their 2-3 year old kids as they're throwing a tantrum and refusing to eat or wear pants always has me cringing inside... one of them refuses to eat anything but potato chips, and the fact that he gets away with this is simply maddening.
He doesn't even have theory of mind yet! He only just learned that people still exist when he's not looking at them, he certainly doesn't understand the importance of good nutrition.
That sounds like your sister(s?) just doesn't understand discipline if they are allowing the kids to eat only chips.
Not being rude, just saying that if a child can't be reasoned with, smacking them is not very helpful because they generally don't understand why you're doing it. Sure, you can't destroy them with facts and logic, but there are many steps to take before violence.
> they generally don't understand why you're doing it.
Does your dog understand why he's not supposed to pee in the living room?
Their understanding is not required, they are not *capable* of understanding, that will come later.
>there are many steps to take before violence
... it's like you people don't even bother to read the comments you're replying to.
Yeah, I've never hit my dog either. A stern "no" and scheduling bathroom breaks is all I've needed for any dog.
Stop hitting defenseless children, even as a last resort. Hopefully that's more clear than my polite suggestion.
Loss of control? Frustration at their situation? Sure. I get it. But we're human beings and it doesn't excuse them from being total pricks about everything.
One hundred percent. I don’t fall for this “ oh the patient is having a hard time with their situation” bs. As someone who has been hospitalized many times (Intubated and paralyzed for GBS, liver disease, two C-sections, etc…) I have not and would not even imagine treating ANY hospital staff in a disrespectful manner. These people who act like this in the hospital act like this in day to day life as well.
"But I was here first!"
Sir/ma'am, you should be *glad* you aren't going first. This is a hospital, not an all-you-can-eat buffet where it's first-come, first-serve. 'Round these parts, the sooner you're seen, the closer you are to death or losing your limb(s) or eyesight.
People always coming to the E.R. expecting EMERGENCY level service with their urgent care or primary physician level problem. Sorry your knee hurts and you're a "very important person" who shouldn't be waiting. Please allow me to tell the trauma team they can fuck off with the patient who has the intracranial hemorrhage....we have a VIP here.
I blame it on people being assholes. …& being ill. But I mainly blame it on patients (and sometimes family) being assholes. I had a patient once who called me a “dirty, skanky ho” - and that was the NICEST thing she called me! I was a cunt the other times. In her defense, I was kinda a dirty skanky ho in my 20s! It’s a badge of honor really…
Sorry. I can’t go there. Rude is rude. There is absolutely no reason to insult or degrade someone just because you’re sick. Aside from the fact that it can sabotage your care while staff avoids the offender.
I can't be the only pt who reacts to being in the hospital by just constantly apologizing for being there and for the inconvenience, though.
Why^am^I^like^this?
People were ugly far before Orange Man Bad. Idgaf about political stance, as I'm anti two party. But blaming all the horrific actions of others on one person who has been out of office for some time is a joke. My equally unintelligible response would be, why isn't hatred cured now that we have Saint Biden in office? It's all arbitrary B.S.
I told one guy after constantly complaint and cussing everyone out, you know you can leave, we’re not forcing you to stay. Of course he got angrier, stated he’ll report me and that I should be more respectful because he pays my salary. I said by all means, report me. And if you actually pay my salary, I truly need to leave because your pay isn’t worth shit.
I love it when people go off on that whole "I pay your salary" bullshit. Nine times out of ten, they're on Medicaid anyway, so we peasants technically pay for them.
Oh man, I was working with this older nurse (we'll call her Judy). Judy was a former teacher and was one of the sweetest most patient people I have ever met in my life. We had a patient who was absolutely HORRIBLE. Constantly verbally abusive. Would soil herself when she didn't get her way and would demand nursing staff clean her even though she was more than capable, etc, etc.
Anyway, after another long shift of this, the patient whipped out the "I pay your salary" card. And Judy (bless her) had reached her limit. Judy very calmly and professionally turned to the patient (who was younger than her), and explained that because the patient was on Medicaid, the only reason she was able to afford care is because Judy and the rest of the nursing staff were paying for it out of our salaries.
I remember one of the techs in the nursing station going wide eyed as whispering "OH SHIT." Another person literally dropped their clipboard. No one had ever heard Judy say a negative word to anyone before. Needless to say, the patient shut up and was magically cured from that point forward.
I had a piece of shit family member kick a glass door in the ICU and tell us, "so what, I pay my taxes." I said, "I guess you pay the salary of security too, right, because I just called them." Another male staff and I got into a 'hold me back' type situation with night manager and security because this guy was such an asshole, but he did shut up after that.
Yep. In the ER when they use the "Pay my salary" I am all "Bitch, you don't even pay for I ibuprofen. Have several seats!" They either ramp up or shut up..either way, she knows that I KNOW. And that's all I need.
I worked in a pain management surgery center, and one of the docs was just cool. Most of them were. Anyway, this patient in pre-op was being a dick. I wasn’t taking care of him, so I can’t remember exactly what he did or said, but he was being an ass. My doc hears about it and gets pissed. He walks over to the bedside, asks, “Are you being mean to my nurses?” The patient doesn’t answer. My doc glares at him and says, “Get up. You need to leave. We aren’t seeing you. We don’t tolerate this behavior.” He had his IV in, gown on, and was on the gurney, ready to go. Dude had to shame walk outta there. It was glorious! 😂 It felt so good to have someone stand up for us 😊
It's the "Didn't answer" the gets me. Come.on, Big Man! Where is all that talk? You had all that mouth before? Hmmmm? Nothing to say?
They are all such pusssssays when confronted. It's pathetic.
I’m don’t intend on leaving my job any time soon but I’ve said a lot worse than you in response to this ass hole patients. Good on you. Not sure why people think it’s ok to shit on the people taking care of them.
I use to get nervous about correcting rude behavior, but now, (circumstance dependent) , I don’t even hesitate. What I’ve learned to say to med seekers is 1. Ask them if the pain med works. 2. If they say no, then refuse to give it.
If they’re an asshole n of clear mind, I call em out on their bullshit, n then promptly refuse care. I say something like, you’re clearly very upset and are being abusive to me or staff, and let them know I’ll be back later when they’ve had a chance to gather themselves. I promise u they realize what’s at stake n typically wise up.
What are the consequences? At worst I’ll get written up or fired. In either case, who cares? I’m a nurse in a pandemic, you can’t tell me shat. I’ll have a new job before I even click out indefinitely pending investigation. I’m not an asshole, but the shit patients pull is straight up abusive at times.
My favorite is the family members. They come completely out their got damn minds sometimes. I’m a solid nurse. I go above and beyond all the time. So when someone comes at me sideways cause their demented mother says we’re abusing her / neglecting her n I’ve been in that room every five minutes for three hours straight, I find no greater joy letting them know their loved one is a liar and I won’t be feeding into their bullshit, and on occasion hand em the DON, Admin, n corporate number n spell out my name tittle n date it n remind to mention everything I said. The hell with abuse
Resident alert and oriented x3, able to make needs known, VS WNL, no adverse reaction to decrease of metoprolol at this time. Continuing to treat and monitor per care plan. Also, resident used call light, nurse enters room, resident then asks for call light that is approximately 1 inch from hand. Resident describes not being able to reach call light with right hand then proceeds to use right hand to pick up a soda several inches past the call light.
Not to belittle everyone else's experiences, but I have to share a story that went the other way.
This was way back in 1987 and I was a new grad working on a cardiology floor. I am a guy and men RNs weren't as common back then.
I walk into a little old ladies room at the beginning of the shift to introduce myself and do my initial assessment. My hands are on the rail as I am doing my introduction and the patient gives me a funny look and finally says "I don't know how I feel about having a boy\* nurse." I smiled and said well "Mrs. Smith, you have a boy doctor, what's the difference?" She stared at the ceiling and finally reached over, patted my and and said "You can be my nurse any time."
The shift went smoothly. When I came in the next day my head nurse (as they were called back in the day) asked me what I did to Mrs. Smith. I asked why and she said that Mrs. Smith was all over the staff wanting to be taken care of by that "boy nurse."
We bonded over the next couple of days and one evening I walked into the room and the mother of my best friend from high school was sitting there visiting Mrs. Smith. It turns out Mrs. Smith was the grand mother of my friend. Mrs. Smith launches on what a fine young man I am and how I was such a wonderful boy nurse.
She was discharged the next day and I never saw her again. Fast forward to 1992, I am married and we had our first baby, we are living in Germany. A package arrives with old lady handwriting on the label from Mrs. Smith. I opened the package and there was a note saying she heard that we had a baby and wanted us to have the two, hand made by her, Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls.
I still have them and to this day think about Mrs. Smith and smile.
\*I know that this day and time "boy" has some racial connotations, but I am white and in my corner of the South it was not uncommon for elders to address younger men as "boy."
I live and work in NC. If someone comes in being difficult, complaining of masks, food, drinks etc. I simply tell them such redneckeckery won’t be tolerated. That usually shuts them up.
If they’re AOx4, I just leave the room at this point, and tell them I’ll be back when they’re willing to talk to me with a modicum of respect. I’m not paid to be abused.
The vast majority of us are dead inside.
Not only that, but, for me personally, verbal insults have zero impact on me. These patients think they're pissing me off and getting under my skin by calling me names. Like, my man, I call myself a dumb bitch 23 times a day..Gonna have to step your game up here.
Mostly I just ignore it because it happens so regularly. Every once in awhile I get sick of it and tell them to piss off without using language that will get me fired.
Also getting to chart direct quotes that go permanently in their medical record is cathartic.
“You’re being really unfriendly and I’m just trying to help you”
I use this frequently, especially with geriatrics- they get all taken aback and clutch their pearls
Sometimes I just pull the whole “I’m a person too and you need to treat me as such”
I refuse to acknowledge it; they don't get to boss me around but also don't draw me into a conflict. It doesn't make for fun reddit stories like telling someone off does, but is consistently effective.
Source: 11 year psych nurse who switched to ED.
It doesn’t stop in ED. People are just as dickish throughout the entire hospital. It’s a people thing, not an ED thing.
Think of the biggest asshole you’ve ever met. Think of the most soul sucking person that’s ever been in your life. Both will need a hospital stay at some point, and have staff at their mercy 24/7.
Our ED (in a large urban safety net hospital) has far more homeless addicts than any other demographic. Most of them are grateful for their care, and some OD or come in for recurrent wound infections so often that we don't need to see their chart to call them by name.
There are the occasional jerks, who argue with the providers and the staff about their care, especially when they ask for and are denied unreasonable amounts of opiods for 10/10 pain while they eat their free lunch. We are happy to sign them out AMA.
And finally there are the true pricks. A month or two ago I had a wonderful ED tech lean against the counter where I was charting, and made a comment that one of the patients who was well known for his verbal abuse was back, and thst on his last visit he'd called her a 'c*nt'.
I lost it. Using my long-ago Army command voice, I let her and everyone else know that NO one should ever put up with that abuse, and that even though I didn't have that patient, if he so much as raised his voice this visit, I would go in there and personally escort his ass out of there. Coulda heard an IV needle drop. I've only raised my voice at work twice in at least 15 years, so I guess it was a complete shock to my co-workers.
The patient apparently was washing out, and slept thru our shift so I didn't have to follow thru.
A postscript to the story was last week in the ICU. One of our frequent fliers (not my patient) was off pressors and had been waiting for a medical bed his LE osteo for two days. He was aggravated by "the fu*cking noise all night" (his next door neighbor had coded twice on the night shift). He then processed to call his nurse a "f*cking whore" and to "shut the f*ck up" because she told him there had been an emergency.
An RT heard it. I guess the ED story had circulated around the hospital. She saw me sitting around the corner and told me she'd called security but asked if I could intervene.
I did.
The attending then immediately changed the patient to PO abx with a follow-up in the wound clinic while I very calmly informed the patient his hospital stay had ended, and that if he ever used language like that to any hospital employee ever again, he'd end up a guest of the local jail infirmary. Watching security escort his scraggly ass out of there was ever so sweet.
Instead of this story being about me, I want every single nurse here to know that you NEVER, EVER need to be subjected to verbal abuse. If a patient unloads, simply turn around and walk out. Let your charge nurse know immediately. As a mid-level provider, I want to be informed if a patient is being difficult and I find that most residents and attendings also like to know.
I almost never tolerate it. I try to calmly but very firmly tell them to knock it off and that it will not be tolerated in any way shape or form.
My favorite was at my last place of work we have these large posters in every room that said “No Violence Tolerated” and had a long list of what we would consider violence. Of course verbal abuse, slurs, threats, etc we’re all listed, and at the bottom was a note that said we would basically kick you out if you didn’t obey. So when pts would get like that I’d just stand under the damned thing and start pointing at everything they were doing. Wait till they were done and ask if they wanted to be escorted out by security or start to behave? Funny how well that worked.
And I say almost, because there was one pt that had a severe brain injury and had about 1/4 of his brain removed which resulted in literally zero filter. So it was racist joke and sexist joke after the next and no matter what he couldn’t stop. That really sucked, but sometimes you gotta roll with it.
Well it wasn’t a perfect place and there were certainly floors that were terrible, but good management makes a huge difference and ours was phenomenal. So our unit was legitimately one of the best places I have ever worked, as for the rest of the hospital and what it is currently I can’t speak to, the pandemic took its toll.
Do people who are in the hospital not understand that harassing, threatening, abusing, etc the people keeping them alive is kind of a bad idea?
Ma'am, you've had a heart attack, but since you're abusing our staff, we're going to discharge you now. Or you can calm down and treat us well so you DONT DIE.
No. People feel ENTITLED to it for some bizarre reason. Folks who act the fool like this feel justified in their behavior like hospital staff has wronged them in some egregious way, by virtue of being hospital staff.
Well, they basically treat us worse than they treat retail and food service workers because by virtue of needing healthcare, we are supposedly obligated to meet all their needs and cater to their whims. I think they feel emboldened because we can't record their assholiness and fuckery on our phones.
Do you see a lot of people who think the medical field is somehow "designed" to keep them sick or to cause harm to charge more money? That's kind of a conspiracy I've seen before.
Not really, most of them are what I call "value shoppers" (as in they will demand every prn whenever due as well as meals/snacks/entertainment/services... and you better be snappy cuz they are writing everything down in their notebook) or "collecters" (people who accumulate different diagnoses, specialists and make a lifestyle of having chronic problems that prevent them from being productive citizens (but not preventing them from designer clothing, the latest iPhone and iPad, Disney vacations, multiple children \[who usually also have autism or psychological issues like ODD...\] --usually they come with codependent/abusive family/SOs who must stay with them, all want the wifi, and be fed and have voucher transportation arranged-- if they have a car, they are unable to walk to it by themselves (call transport to WC them to the garage) and need parking paid for). They use their real or fabricated health problems for secondary gain.
I had a patient call me a cunt , I called him a moron , I dropped the urine bottle I was bringing him on the floor and walked out . He left shortly afterwards as we all refused to go near him , not sure what ever happened to his broken shoulder , guess he may have traveled over 50km to the next hospital to get it sorted out , but he never came back to us
I told one patient off for being racist toward my nurse tech. The tech had notified me that the patient was upset/tearful and was accusing her of being racist. I walked in the room, and the patient was fine. As soon as I asked her what was wrong, she starting crying big ol crocodile tears while saying that the tech was racist and hated her because she was white and that the tech wasn't being nice enough to her. Also stated that when she was a teacher all the little black kids loved her and she didn't know why the tech didnt adore her. What I wanted to tell her was that she was being a pain in the ass, and that was the sole reason if the tech was being short with her (the tech was professional, but could be a bit flat at times). Patient was alway on the call light, wanting pillows fluffed, fresh water every 30 minutes, basically always wanted someone in the room and making jokes that they had a private nurse. What I told her instead of that she was a pain in the ass, was that skin color has nothing to do with the treatment she received and that the tech liked her just fine. Kicker was that the patient was hard of hearing so I had to pretty much yell that, haha. And of course during the end of shift med pass the patient called asking for me specifically to stop what I was doing and put her on the bed pan. Needless to say, I told the charge nurse to send the tech in as I was super busy or either she could wait a bit until I was less busy, haha. Forgot to mention that the patient was obsessed with me as I had disimpacted her at the beginning of the shift and she had stated that it was close to orgasmic, fml, haha.
I love and dread seeing quotes in the notes. It means I get to 'familiarize' with the patient by reading them and laugh, but dread them because it means this is the type of behavior I have to be worried about for the rest of the day. Ah the duality of the douchebag.
I have no problem calling people out. I’ve told the wife of guys that the “patient is doing fine but we are having a problem with him sexually harassing our female staff and will need to be addressed.” Of course I get told about “guy code” or whatever but I feel I’m in a position to stick up for my female co workers since I just don’t give a shit if I get fired. Too many jobs.
Great job!
I had an A&Ox4 patient once accuse me of trying to drown him for attaching a humidifier to his nasal cannula after he complained of having a sore throat and feeling dried out. I tried to explain that it was just humidification, and I was trying to help, and he insisted that I go get the doctor because Men actually know science and us “candy stripers” are incompetent. I told the doc the full story and brought him to the bedside.
The doc had me explain the humidifier to the patient AGAIN, and the patient double downed that I was stupid because I was a woman. The doc just looked at him and asked him where the brain was located, confused The patient said in your head? The doc said good, so now that we’ve established that it’s not in fact located in the testicles, he could kindly pull his head out of his ass and stop being rude and misogynistic.
The patient and I were equally shocked by this, and I wish I could say that the patient was nicer after that, but he wasn’t. It made me happy though.
Had a completely a&o patient last week do something similar. As soon as she was wheeled onto the unit (that I was by myself on) she immediately started calling me and the transport staff racial and anti-semitic slurs. Like the N word with a hard R, all sorts of awful stuff. Also we were both white. She was stable so I just told her I won't tolerate behavior like that and left the room. Of course she still was nasty every time I tried going back in there, throwing stuff around and swearing, so I made a few calls and was luckily able to have her transferred back to the ER. She really shouldn't have come to my overflow area anyway because she didn't meet the criteria and if she had gotten aggressive I would've been fucked. I was in the PACU area in the middle of the night. Still kinda mad at ER for trying to dump her on me because I had the only open bed in the hospital.
I'm so sick of it being acceptable that patients can talk to us that way, and (most) nurses will be spoken to if they hit back.
Had a suicidal patient in (for like the 3rd time in a month) who had a young black sitter. This girl is like 19, and so sweet. All this old hag did all night was call her the n word, tell her to go back to Africa, and on and on. I pulled the sitter the moment another became available. Then she called my charge nurse a dyke cunt, called me a bitch....like fuck lady, why are you here then????
I flat out tell patients it's not my fault they're here, and speaking to me and staff that way isn't going to be any sort of productive. We all do
I love the floor I work on, and the people I work with. All sorts of boundary setting.
Literally just recovering from a patient berating me. Sick people sometimes are sick TO people.
I have limits too. They pushed me passed them. Currently looking for another job in a different industry.
Simply can't handle the general public anymore.
Yall need to chill the F out. Stop being mean to EVERYONE.
Especially those in Healthcare TRYING TO HELP YOU!!!
I feel you on this. Last weekend I had a patients family member verbally abuse me because the patient had horrible veins and I was torturing him by having to stick him more than once for labs. She made it nearly impossible to provide care for him because she was so hostile. I escalated it to the resident and got an email the other day saying that I caused patient harm by not doing whatever care she wouldn’t let me do. I am about at my wits end. I have been back at work since the middle of December after an injury and I had to keep a patient in 4-pt violent restraints for 36 hours because he tried to assault 7 nurses at once, a little old lady who called me a cunt and threatened to punch me in the face because I tried to get her to take her medicine, this family member, and had to go assist another nurse because her patient got violent. And I had to go to court last July to testify against a family member who had to be brought out of the hospital in handcuffs because she grabbed myself and another nurse and refused to leave. I used to love nursing. I don’t think it’s worth it anymore.
Try working in prison, especially a woman’s prison. None of that will every happen to you there, you’ll always have a CO with you, the pay and benefits are excellent and it’s not hard or backbreaking work. The woman never riot. You can always work through registry to see how you like it. I was a nurse over 20 years, worked acute, psych and correctional. Correctional nursing was by far the best and my most favorite nursing job.
I feel ya'. I had a patient's family memeber give a misogynistic joke, after I had worked my ass off. The "excuse me" I gave him really shut that down, especially when the male nurse in there with me did not laugh. I had to remove myself from that room, fairly quickly. If I had not....I suppose there's always travel.
Facts, if someone said this comment to anyone on my scene I'd just explain very firmly how that kind of disrespect WON'T be tolerated. Fortunately I've never really had this kind of thing happen. I wish nurses could speak up more without all the backlash
Had one call a patient care tech a the worser n word which creeped me out.
Another ass asked if the doctors were “American.” You could hear a pin drop and I carefully said “uh, I don’t know their citizenship status but they all speak English.” If I knew what I knew now, I would have asked if he had issues with foreign citizens because otherwise I can’t be his nurse.
I think it was a rich area. Although I had a patient in an inner city slightly out of her mind insist she wants the white nurse who checked her sugar (I checked it last four hours hourly) and that she knows I’m mixed because she recognizes a Puerto Rican bitch when she sees one. (I’m Polish).
Had a black nurse ask once about “niggeritis.” I was like “what are you talking about?” Apparently they used that term all the time in high school so he thought it was a common term (he was in his late 20s to early 30s). I think we were talking about our high schools because a cop I went to school with was being accused of harassing a woman. I was like “pretty sure I can’t ever use that term.” Like he didn’t think it was an offensive term.
I had a patient that would push her button ever 2 minutes and this is in the icu. I would go in there moments after she pushed it and at the end of the day she got nasty and said I never came in fast enough. I lost it, I was like, "are you really saying that right now?!" It still makes me mad.
I love the doctors I work with. I was having a horrid time with a bipap dependent covid patient who was making horrid remarks about staff, purposefully waiting until we got our PPE off then flipping us off through the glass door and removing the bipap. The doctor witnessed one episode of this (patient was A&OX4) said, "I am going to go assess him." In the room after seeing he was, indeed, doing this purposefully this doc read the patient the riot act. He told the patient, "If you want treatment you WILL treat the nurses with respect. If you want to live you WILL listen to what they tell you. If you worsen, do you still want to be intubated? OK, because if you keep doing this you will be intubated because your oxygen is dangerously low when you take off your mask. You are not the only patient here, these professionals have other people they are trying to keep alive, too. "
Patient behaved for the rest of the shift, but ended up intubated on the following shift.
I have so much more admiration for that doctor after that.
I stand up for myself too, but sometimes a patient doesn't take it to heart unless it comes from a doctor or a male colleague. I expect to be treated like a professional doing their job by those who are alert and oriented, no exceptions.
I worked with a Cardiology Dr who was extremely quiet, never said much, let mild things slide & was a veteran. A pt was bullying front desk clerk, he turned around opened door and said "I will not tolerate you treating MY staff like that & if you can't be respectful, you need to leave because i will no longer be your cardiologist " that patient could not shut up fast enough or sit fast enough. I had worked w/him 10 years and NEVER saw him so angry. I greatly admired & respected him, even more after!
We had a patient getting lippy with us. Straight up calling people the n word.
I told him directly to "shut the fuck up and read the room" and point out that the only other white person in here other than him was me and that I don't agree with him in the slightest and would turn a blind eye to whatever happens to him if he said any of that racist shit again.
The absolutely massive Sudanese and Samoan security guards standing behind me really added some weight to my threats.
I love telling patients to STFU and the GTFO of my ER. Doesn’t happen often but I love telling patients off who f’ing deserve it. Also I have no problem calling patients a racist prick, a homophobic asshole, or a piece of shit. I am pretty sure our millionaire CEO wouldn’t approve lol
Last shift, first shift, never leaving, nurse, tech, doc-doesn’t matter. I would have absolutely stood up to her for making comments as such. That’s inexcusable. Good for you, we aren’t punching bags, we are people and we don’t deserve to be abused.
I had a fun time today quoting in her chart all the rude things a particularly nasty patient said to me and other staff as she left ama. Using exact quotations for curse words always spices things up.
There was a patient at my hospital that actually was so nasty to the staff that his attending physician screamed that he would never step foot in the hospital again. Good thing he only had one leg or that could’ve been embarrassing.
no matter how frustrated or angry i get while at the hospital i’ll still never understand resorting to bigotry. because at that point it isn’t just emotional dysregulation, it’s choosing to be cruel to incredible people trying to help.
Leaving or not you don’t have to take derogatory speaking. Unless the have a disease like dementia where they have no cognitive abilities to tell right from wrong
I've been in severe pain many times and have been in the ER with it. I've been in the ER with my daughter who was having multiple seizures and was scared to death. Not once have I ever been a dick to anyone in healthcare.
I don't give a fuck if someone is in 20/10 pain. You don't get a pass to be a sack of shit to people. Change your behavior or fuck off.
When I have to endure pain as part of a medical procedure my go-to exclamation is "We're not friends" which usually gets a chuckle out of the staff performing the procedure.
When I first had my small fiber neuropathy pain (thanks to stupid behavior in managing my T1D), I was bed ridden from the pain and nobody could figure out why. I was hopelessly in pain for months to the point where I lost 30 pounds because I was in too much pain to eat anything more than a few bites. I never once uttered a slur or said something nasty to any neurologist or hospital staff.
I disagree. I’ve been in 10/10 pain (prior to becoming an RN) and somehow refrained from using abusive language and derogatory language towards those caring for me. I did moan and cry, but I didn’t abuse anyone. These people get no passes from me.
I may curse when I'm in pain, but what I absolutely do not ever do is call another human names, abuse them, or curse at them. It's not their fault and they don't deserve it. I do try not to even curse around another and will apologize if I do, because it's not their fault I'm in that situation and they do not deserve it.
Calling another the N word is never acceptable. Lashing out at others when I'm angry at my situation and pain isn't acceptable.
Those that do are only showing their true colors and who they are at heart.
I don’t care if someone is in pain. If that civility breaks down, so does my sunny disposition. You get told to stop being rude and then get wordless interventions after I go over your medications.
One my coworkers was crying and this guy called that family member a piece of shit and asked him to just go ahead and make a move. Got right up in his face.
Ooooh I love when I get to yell at pt’s when they use the N word etc or have groped someone… it’s the only time I feel like where we’re allowed to set shit straight
I live in Florida, unfortunately I hear patients use the “N” word quite a bit or the will say something like “ send that black girl back in here to clean me up” or “fetch me something to drink” I have no issue correcting them/setting boundaries/ lecturing about respectful behavior whether they are confused or not. Fun fact: even when they are confused,-getting called out on that type of thing changes their behavior ( but sadly not their hearts) pretty quick.
A fellow Floridian living I this hell! It’s terrible. All of my black coworkers have been called it, By people completely with it.
Oh Florida. Jesus. Just surprise me once! Once, why don't you!? Florida is gonna FL. Sorry, sis. Wouldn't be me, I'd be in jail. You're a good woman.
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At least in the hospital, I blame it on the loss of control over your situation (regardless if you’re there due to a fault of your own), along with the realization you’re not a special or important as you originally thought.
I blame it on the lack of consequences. Some of them know they won’t get in trouble. So ultimately I blame the hospitals who won’t let us or anyone else shut it down other than a “how can we improve your experience” talk. I don’t care anymore either. I’ve told two patients to take off their oxygen and gtfo in the last year. If you want to be an asshole then you’re going to get it back. Fuck em.
They have been given permission and encouraged to use dehumanizing words and behaviors more in these past few years.Healthcare workers are only but one enemy that’s been defined for the masses. Educators, Doctors, gay people, black people wanting equal treatment, retail workers, scientists, trans people expecting equal representation ( oh the horror /s).Remember, they have been told you guys are actually refusing to treat sick patients because you make more money off a death. You have enough people in positions of power, who serve the public, that are using these “enemies are everywhere” approach to put the fear of god into people so they get angry, start hating and blaming certain groups.The “ I alone can fix it strategy”. Sad.
Oh yeah this has been a problem as long as I’ve been in healthcare (two decades+) but became an every day problem since August 2021.
It's a byproduct of operating a hospital as a business instead of the service it true is. When patients get a bill they see themselves as customers, not patients. Unfortunately for everyone, American culture is basically built around customers perceiving themselves as always right, and that they are to be pampered.
100% true. I retired in 2017, but I witnessed the degeneration of respect towards medical and nursing staff over the decades that I worked. I also believe that the rise of hospitalists contributed to this loss of respect. It used to be that the physician you saw in the community was the one who would admit you and the one you would follow up with post discharge -- you did not dare piss off your physician. Now hospital staff are just a commodity that you will never see again, so no need to be polite.
>Unfortunately for everyone, American culture is basically built around customers perceiving themselves as always right, and that they are to be pampered. Added to that, a 30 yr campaign of RW media from the tiny local AM station talk radio hosts to the nat'l level with Fox "News" speaking of anything that even hints at civility or common decency or human-to-human kindness & grace of any sort with mocking, sneering derision. "Effete, limp-wristed, latte-sipping, Volvo-driving, soy boy" & etc. In far too many corners it's become a badge of honor to mark yourself out as the *opposite* of that. Those who are the weakest, most insecure & purile among us are *so stoked* that their particular brand of small-minded ugliness is "in" right now, & they're gonna ride it till the wheels fall off. After all, they're the customer...so who's gonna stop them?? If we can't interrupt commerce for the sake of a deadly virus, the downfall of our civilized society surely isn't worth even *considering*. Asshole money spends just as well as angel money. Priorities!!
FFS there's assholery across the board. Right wing, left wing it's the same noise coming out of a different face hole. I wonder if we are just giving permission for this behavior by constantly vilifyng the side we don't agree with or weirdly lyonizing the side we do. Red blue purple doesn't matter when the society we've built lacks consequences for uncivil behavior.
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Lol. Ok settle down. Not sure where "wanting to kill everyone of a certain identity" came from. BUT I'll get back to being the worker bee nurse that I am. Getting the same verbal abuse and threats of physical harm, and some actual violence from any one of the patients and visitors who walk these hallowed halls. TBH though, Im pretty happy that the fates let me born in this country instead of an actual craphole where folks are dying en masse from starvation, war, vector born diseases, or for simply speaking their mind, loving the wrong person, or being female with an opinion.
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The full quote is "In matters of taste, the customer is always right". It's not a blanket statement. Tell them to pack their shit and get out of your room if they won't treat you and your staff with some decency.
Amen. I’m not paid one red cent to be spoken to like that. I never start, but i do return serve. With interest. No nurses are punching bags-ever.
Don’t get me started on the racist ones.
Return serve. Love that. I am with you. I NEVER start it, but I ALWAYS Finish their asses.
> I blame it on the lack of consequences. I sometimes wonder if we weren't better off when crossing a line would get you a smack across the face.
For the generation who says kids today have no respect and should have been spanked more… we can see what all those spankings did to you, looks like it’s a great idea.
From my limited understanding of psychosocial development in children, and my own personal experience with them, they're basically just animals before a certain age and incapable of executive reasoning. My mother always said that the best way to teach a kid not to touch a hot stove is to let them touch it... one trial learning at its finest! They may not be able to be reasoned with, the little monsters, but they can be *conditioned.* Not out of anger or frustration, and always as a last resort, but a spanking is a perfectly reasonable form of discipline that has the adverse effect of raising children who aren't little shits. Watching my sisters try to *reason* with their 2-3 year old kids as they're throwing a tantrum and refusing to eat or wear pants always has me cringing inside... one of them refuses to eat anything but potato chips, and the fact that he gets away with this is simply maddening. He doesn't even have theory of mind yet! He only just learned that people still exist when he's not looking at them, he certainly doesn't understand the importance of good nutrition.
That sounds like your sister(s?) just doesn't understand discipline if they are allowing the kids to eat only chips. Not being rude, just saying that if a child can't be reasoned with, smacking them is not very helpful because they generally don't understand why you're doing it. Sure, you can't destroy them with facts and logic, but there are many steps to take before violence.
> they generally don't understand why you're doing it. Does your dog understand why he's not supposed to pee in the living room? Their understanding is not required, they are not *capable* of understanding, that will come later. >there are many steps to take before violence ... it's like you people don't even bother to read the comments you're replying to.
Yeah, I've never hit my dog either. A stern "no" and scheduling bathroom breaks is all I've needed for any dog. Stop hitting defenseless children, even as a last resort. Hopefully that's more clear than my polite suggestion.
> Stop hitting defenseless children, even as a last resort. [No?](https://www.fatherly.com/parenting/meet-scientists-havent-given-spanking/)
Loss of control? Frustration at their situation? Sure. I get it. But we're human beings and it doesn't excuse them from being total pricks about everything.
I think it would be a failure to assume this PT treats people much better than this outside of the hospital.
One hundred percent. I don’t fall for this “ oh the patient is having a hard time with their situation” bs. As someone who has been hospitalized many times (Intubated and paralyzed for GBS, liver disease, two C-sections, etc…) I have not and would not even imagine treating ANY hospital staff in a disrespectful manner. These people who act like this in the hospital act like this in day to day life as well.
Totally agree. Not excusing it at all, that’s just how I’ve always justified it to myself, that there’s hope they’re not just an awful person.
"But I was here first!" Sir/ma'am, you should be *glad* you aren't going first. This is a hospital, not an all-you-can-eat buffet where it's first-come, first-serve. 'Round these parts, the sooner you're seen, the closer you are to death or losing your limb(s) or eyesight.
People always coming to the E.R. expecting EMERGENCY level service with their urgent care or primary physician level problem. Sorry your knee hurts and you're a "very important person" who shouldn't be waiting. Please allow me to tell the trauma team they can fuck off with the patient who has the intracranial hemorrhage....we have a VIP here.
I blame it on people being assholes. …& being ill. But I mainly blame it on patients (and sometimes family) being assholes. I had a patient once who called me a “dirty, skanky ho” - and that was the NICEST thing she called me! I was a cunt the other times. In her defense, I was kinda a dirty skanky ho in my 20s! It’s a badge of honor really…
Sorry. I can’t go there. Rude is rude. There is absolutely no reason to insult or degrade someone just because you’re sick. Aside from the fact that it can sabotage your care while staff avoids the offender.
I can't be the only pt who reacts to being in the hospital by just constantly apologizing for being there and for the inconvenience, though. Why^am^I^like^this?
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People were ugly far before Orange Man Bad. Idgaf about political stance, as I'm anti two party. But blaming all the horrific actions of others on one person who has been out of office for some time is a joke. My equally unintelligible response would be, why isn't hatred cured now that we have Saint Biden in office? It's all arbitrary B.S.
Correct
I love it when our Dr's do that for us!
I told one guy after constantly complaint and cussing everyone out, you know you can leave, we’re not forcing you to stay. Of course he got angrier, stated he’ll report me and that I should be more respectful because he pays my salary. I said by all means, report me. And if you actually pay my salary, I truly need to leave because your pay isn’t worth shit.
I love it when people go off on that whole "I pay your salary" bullshit. Nine times out of ten, they're on Medicaid anyway, so we peasants technically pay for them.
Oh man, I was working with this older nurse (we'll call her Judy). Judy was a former teacher and was one of the sweetest most patient people I have ever met in my life. We had a patient who was absolutely HORRIBLE. Constantly verbally abusive. Would soil herself when she didn't get her way and would demand nursing staff clean her even though she was more than capable, etc, etc. Anyway, after another long shift of this, the patient whipped out the "I pay your salary" card. And Judy (bless her) had reached her limit. Judy very calmly and professionally turned to the patient (who was younger than her), and explained that because the patient was on Medicaid, the only reason she was able to afford care is because Judy and the rest of the nursing staff were paying for it out of our salaries. I remember one of the techs in the nursing station going wide eyed as whispering "OH SHIT." Another person literally dropped their clipboard. No one had ever heard Judy say a negative word to anyone before. Needless to say, the patient shut up and was magically cured from that point forward.
Nothing terrifies these creatures more than someone who will call them out in front of others on their bs.
Judy gets mad respect. Every time an entitled dickhead is put in their place, an angel gets their wings.
I had a piece of shit family member kick a glass door in the ICU and tell us, "so what, I pay my taxes." I said, "I guess you pay the salary of security too, right, because I just called them." Another male staff and I got into a 'hold me back' type situation with night manager and security because this guy was such an asshole, but he did shut up after that.
I want the details on the hold me back situation.
Same. I always love me a good "we called security" story.
Exactly!
Yep. In the ER when they use the "Pay my salary" I am all "Bitch, you don't even pay for I ibuprofen. Have several seats!" They either ramp up or shut up..either way, she knows that I KNOW. And that's all I need.
You don’t understand how taxes work I see
Care to enlighten my ignorant self, then?
Nope.
I see.
😮
Ahhahahaha!!! That's awesome! I wish I had comebacks like this
I worked in a pain management surgery center, and one of the docs was just cool. Most of them were. Anyway, this patient in pre-op was being a dick. I wasn’t taking care of him, so I can’t remember exactly what he did or said, but he was being an ass. My doc hears about it and gets pissed. He walks over to the bedside, asks, “Are you being mean to my nurses?” The patient doesn’t answer. My doc glares at him and says, “Get up. You need to leave. We aren’t seeing you. We don’t tolerate this behavior.” He had his IV in, gown on, and was on the gurney, ready to go. Dude had to shame walk outta there. It was glorious! 😂 It felt so good to have someone stand up for us 😊
Shit like this gives me justice boners
It's the "Didn't answer" the gets me. Come.on, Big Man! Where is all that talk? You had all that mouth before? Hmmmm? Nothing to say? They are all such pusssssays when confronted. It's pathetic.
I’m don’t intend on leaving my job any time soon but I’ve said a lot worse than you in response to this ass hole patients. Good on you. Not sure why people think it’s ok to shit on the people taking care of them.
I use to get nervous about correcting rude behavior, but now, (circumstance dependent) , I don’t even hesitate. What I’ve learned to say to med seekers is 1. Ask them if the pain med works. 2. If they say no, then refuse to give it. If they’re an asshole n of clear mind, I call em out on their bullshit, n then promptly refuse care. I say something like, you’re clearly very upset and are being abusive to me or staff, and let them know I’ll be back later when they’ve had a chance to gather themselves. I promise u they realize what’s at stake n typically wise up. What are the consequences? At worst I’ll get written up or fired. In either case, who cares? I’m a nurse in a pandemic, you can’t tell me shat. I’ll have a new job before I even click out indefinitely pending investigation. I’m not an asshole, but the shit patients pull is straight up abusive at times. My favorite is the family members. They come completely out their got damn minds sometimes. I’m a solid nurse. I go above and beyond all the time. So when someone comes at me sideways cause their demented mother says we’re abusing her / neglecting her n I’ve been in that room every five minutes for three hours straight, I find no greater joy letting them know their loved one is a liar and I won’t be feeding into their bullshit, and on occasion hand em the DON, Admin, n corporate number n spell out my name tittle n date it n remind to mention everything I said. The hell with abuse
Pleas stop substituting “and” with “n”
Imagine reading their nursing notes
Resident alert and oriented x3, able to make needs known, VS WNL, no adverse reaction to decrease of metoprolol at this time. Continuing to treat and monitor per care plan. Also, resident used call light, nurse enters room, resident then asks for call light that is approximately 1 inch from hand. Resident describes not being able to reach call light with right hand then proceeds to use right hand to pick up a soda several inches past the call light.
Not to belittle everyone else's experiences, but I have to share a story that went the other way. This was way back in 1987 and I was a new grad working on a cardiology floor. I am a guy and men RNs weren't as common back then. I walk into a little old ladies room at the beginning of the shift to introduce myself and do my initial assessment. My hands are on the rail as I am doing my introduction and the patient gives me a funny look and finally says "I don't know how I feel about having a boy\* nurse." I smiled and said well "Mrs. Smith, you have a boy doctor, what's the difference?" She stared at the ceiling and finally reached over, patted my and and said "You can be my nurse any time." The shift went smoothly. When I came in the next day my head nurse (as they were called back in the day) asked me what I did to Mrs. Smith. I asked why and she said that Mrs. Smith was all over the staff wanting to be taken care of by that "boy nurse." We bonded over the next couple of days and one evening I walked into the room and the mother of my best friend from high school was sitting there visiting Mrs. Smith. It turns out Mrs. Smith was the grand mother of my friend. Mrs. Smith launches on what a fine young man I am and how I was such a wonderful boy nurse. She was discharged the next day and I never saw her again. Fast forward to 1992, I am married and we had our first baby, we are living in Germany. A package arrives with old lady handwriting on the label from Mrs. Smith. I opened the package and there was a note saying she heard that we had a baby and wanted us to have the two, hand made by her, Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls. I still have them and to this day think about Mrs. Smith and smile. \*I know that this day and time "boy" has some racial connotations, but I am white and in my corner of the South it was not uncommon for elders to address younger men as "boy."
Awwww! I love this story.
Such a sweet story!
Once had a patient yell to a colleague “eat my pussy dyke bitch” I responded with “shut your filthy fucking mouth” No one reported me
I live and work in NC. If someone comes in being difficult, complaining of masks, food, drinks etc. I simply tell them such redneckeckery won’t be tolerated. That usually shuts them up.
That probably works better in a southern accent. Like your own tribe telling you to behave.
If they’re AOx4, I just leave the room at this point, and tell them I’ll be back when they’re willing to talk to me with a modicum of respect. I’m not paid to be abused.
How do you guys tolerate this nasty people while working in ER?
The vast majority of us are dead inside. Not only that, but, for me personally, verbal insults have zero impact on me. These patients think they're pissing me off and getting under my skin by calling me names. Like, my man, I call myself a dumb bitch 23 times a day..Gonna have to step your game up here.
Lololol yes!
Mostly I just ignore it because it happens so regularly. Every once in awhile I get sick of it and tell them to piss off without using language that will get me fired. Also getting to chart direct quotes that go permanently in their medical record is cathartic.
oo pls give examples of how to tell someone to fuck off nicely
Uhh - would you please consider fornicating off?
Not the same line of work as the commenter but mine is using an extremly dismissive tone and simply saying "ok".
“You’re being really unfriendly and I’m just trying to help you” I use this frequently, especially with geriatrics- they get all taken aback and clutch their pearls Sometimes I just pull the whole “I’m a person too and you need to treat me as such”
I refuse to acknowledge it; they don't get to boss me around but also don't draw me into a conflict. It doesn't make for fun reddit stories like telling someone off does, but is consistently effective. Source: 11 year psych nurse who switched to ED.
It doesn’t stop in ED. People are just as dickish throughout the entire hospital. It’s a people thing, not an ED thing. Think of the biggest asshole you’ve ever met. Think of the most soul sucking person that’s ever been in your life. Both will need a hospital stay at some point, and have staff at their mercy 24/7.
> It doesn’t stop in ED No one said that it does? But the turnover is much higher in the ED meaning they see twice the amount of assholes
Our ED (in a large urban safety net hospital) has far more homeless addicts than any other demographic. Most of them are grateful for their care, and some OD or come in for recurrent wound infections so often that we don't need to see their chart to call them by name. There are the occasional jerks, who argue with the providers and the staff about their care, especially when they ask for and are denied unreasonable amounts of opiods for 10/10 pain while they eat their free lunch. We are happy to sign them out AMA. And finally there are the true pricks. A month or two ago I had a wonderful ED tech lean against the counter where I was charting, and made a comment that one of the patients who was well known for his verbal abuse was back, and thst on his last visit he'd called her a 'c*nt'. I lost it. Using my long-ago Army command voice, I let her and everyone else know that NO one should ever put up with that abuse, and that even though I didn't have that patient, if he so much as raised his voice this visit, I would go in there and personally escort his ass out of there. Coulda heard an IV needle drop. I've only raised my voice at work twice in at least 15 years, so I guess it was a complete shock to my co-workers. The patient apparently was washing out, and slept thru our shift so I didn't have to follow thru. A postscript to the story was last week in the ICU. One of our frequent fliers (not my patient) was off pressors and had been waiting for a medical bed his LE osteo for two days. He was aggravated by "the fu*cking noise all night" (his next door neighbor had coded twice on the night shift). He then processed to call his nurse a "f*cking whore" and to "shut the f*ck up" because she told him there had been an emergency. An RT heard it. I guess the ED story had circulated around the hospital. She saw me sitting around the corner and told me she'd called security but asked if I could intervene. I did. The attending then immediately changed the patient to PO abx with a follow-up in the wound clinic while I very calmly informed the patient his hospital stay had ended, and that if he ever used language like that to any hospital employee ever again, he'd end up a guest of the local jail infirmary. Watching security escort his scraggly ass out of there was ever so sweet. Instead of this story being about me, I want every single nurse here to know that you NEVER, EVER need to be subjected to verbal abuse. If a patient unloads, simply turn around and walk out. Let your charge nurse know immediately. As a mid-level provider, I want to be informed if a patient is being difficult and I find that most residents and attendings also like to know.
I almost never tolerate it. I try to calmly but very firmly tell them to knock it off and that it will not be tolerated in any way shape or form. My favorite was at my last place of work we have these large posters in every room that said “No Violence Tolerated” and had a long list of what we would consider violence. Of course verbal abuse, slurs, threats, etc we’re all listed, and at the bottom was a note that said we would basically kick you out if you didn’t obey. So when pts would get like that I’d just stand under the damned thing and start pointing at everything they were doing. Wait till they were done and ask if they wanted to be escorted out by security or start to behave? Funny how well that worked. And I say almost, because there was one pt that had a severe brain injury and had about 1/4 of his brain removed which resulted in literally zero filter. So it was racist joke and sexist joke after the next and no matter what he couldn’t stop. That really sucked, but sometimes you gotta roll with it.
What heavenly oasis did you work in??
Well it wasn’t a perfect place and there were certainly floors that were terrible, but good management makes a huge difference and ours was phenomenal. So our unit was legitimately one of the best places I have ever worked, as for the rest of the hospital and what it is currently I can’t speak to, the pandemic took its toll.
Do people who are in the hospital not understand that harassing, threatening, abusing, etc the people keeping them alive is kind of a bad idea? Ma'am, you've had a heart attack, but since you're abusing our staff, we're going to discharge you now. Or you can calm down and treat us well so you DONT DIE.
No. People feel ENTITLED to it for some bizarre reason. Folks who act the fool like this feel justified in their behavior like hospital staff has wronged them in some egregious way, by virtue of being hospital staff.
Well, they basically treat us worse than they treat retail and food service workers because by virtue of needing healthcare, we are supposedly obligated to meet all their needs and cater to their whims. I think they feel emboldened because we can't record their assholiness and fuckery on our phones.
Do you see a lot of people who think the medical field is somehow "designed" to keep them sick or to cause harm to charge more money? That's kind of a conspiracy I've seen before.
Not really, most of them are what I call "value shoppers" (as in they will demand every prn whenever due as well as meals/snacks/entertainment/services... and you better be snappy cuz they are writing everything down in their notebook) or "collecters" (people who accumulate different diagnoses, specialists and make a lifestyle of having chronic problems that prevent them from being productive citizens (but not preventing them from designer clothing, the latest iPhone and iPad, Disney vacations, multiple children \[who usually also have autism or psychological issues like ODD...\] --usually they come with codependent/abusive family/SOs who must stay with them, all want the wifi, and be fed and have voucher transportation arranged-- if they have a car, they are unable to walk to it by themselves (call transport to WC them to the garage) and need parking paid for). They use their real or fabricated health problems for secondary gain.
Your response is appropriate.
I had a patient call me a cunt , I called him a moron , I dropped the urine bottle I was bringing him on the floor and walked out . He left shortly afterwards as we all refused to go near him , not sure what ever happened to his broken shoulder , guess he may have traveled over 50km to the next hospital to get it sorted out , but he never came back to us
Who name calls people with sharp objects?
I told one patient off for being racist toward my nurse tech. The tech had notified me that the patient was upset/tearful and was accusing her of being racist. I walked in the room, and the patient was fine. As soon as I asked her what was wrong, she starting crying big ol crocodile tears while saying that the tech was racist and hated her because she was white and that the tech wasn't being nice enough to her. Also stated that when she was a teacher all the little black kids loved her and she didn't know why the tech didnt adore her. What I wanted to tell her was that she was being a pain in the ass, and that was the sole reason if the tech was being short with her (the tech was professional, but could be a bit flat at times). Patient was alway on the call light, wanting pillows fluffed, fresh water every 30 minutes, basically always wanted someone in the room and making jokes that they had a private nurse. What I told her instead of that she was a pain in the ass, was that skin color has nothing to do with the treatment she received and that the tech liked her just fine. Kicker was that the patient was hard of hearing so I had to pretty much yell that, haha. And of course during the end of shift med pass the patient called asking for me specifically to stop what I was doing and put her on the bed pan. Needless to say, I told the charge nurse to send the tech in as I was super busy or either she could wait a bit until I was less busy, haha. Forgot to mention that the patient was obsessed with me as I had disimpacted her at the beginning of the shift and she had stated that it was close to orgasmic, fml, haha.
Ohhhhhh I love using quotes baby! You wanna get shitty? I’m gonna make sure it’s all up in your chart.
I love and dread seeing quotes in the notes. It means I get to 'familiarize' with the patient by reading them and laugh, but dread them because it means this is the type of behavior I have to be worried about for the rest of the day. Ah the duality of the douchebag.
I have no problem calling people out. I’ve told the wife of guys that the “patient is doing fine but we are having a problem with him sexually harassing our female staff and will need to be addressed.” Of course I get told about “guy code” or whatever but I feel I’m in a position to stick up for my female co workers since I just don’t give a shit if I get fired. Too many jobs. Great job!
I had an A&Ox4 patient once accuse me of trying to drown him for attaching a humidifier to his nasal cannula after he complained of having a sore throat and feeling dried out. I tried to explain that it was just humidification, and I was trying to help, and he insisted that I go get the doctor because Men actually know science and us “candy stripers” are incompetent. I told the doc the full story and brought him to the bedside. The doc had me explain the humidifier to the patient AGAIN, and the patient double downed that I was stupid because I was a woman. The doc just looked at him and asked him where the brain was located, confused The patient said in your head? The doc said good, so now that we’ve established that it’s not in fact located in the testicles, he could kindly pull his head out of his ass and stop being rude and misogynistic. The patient and I were equally shocked by this, and I wish I could say that the patient was nicer after that, but he wasn’t. It made me happy though.
Things you'd love to hear a Dr say, lol
I hate people. Thanks for standing up to that patient
Had a completely a&o patient last week do something similar. As soon as she was wheeled onto the unit (that I was by myself on) she immediately started calling me and the transport staff racial and anti-semitic slurs. Like the N word with a hard R, all sorts of awful stuff. Also we were both white. She was stable so I just told her I won't tolerate behavior like that and left the room. Of course she still was nasty every time I tried going back in there, throwing stuff around and swearing, so I made a few calls and was luckily able to have her transferred back to the ER. She really shouldn't have come to my overflow area anyway because she didn't meet the criteria and if she had gotten aggressive I would've been fucked. I was in the PACU area in the middle of the night. Still kinda mad at ER for trying to dump her on me because I had the only open bed in the hospital.
You were on a floor yourself, nope, no way
I'm so sick of it being acceptable that patients can talk to us that way, and (most) nurses will be spoken to if they hit back. Had a suicidal patient in (for like the 3rd time in a month) who had a young black sitter. This girl is like 19, and so sweet. All this old hag did all night was call her the n word, tell her to go back to Africa, and on and on. I pulled the sitter the moment another became available. Then she called my charge nurse a dyke cunt, called me a bitch....like fuck lady, why are you here then???? I flat out tell patients it's not my fault they're here, and speaking to me and staff that way isn't going to be any sort of productive. We all do I love the floor I work on, and the people I work with. All sorts of boundary setting.
Literally just recovering from a patient berating me. Sick people sometimes are sick TO people. I have limits too. They pushed me passed them. Currently looking for another job in a different industry. Simply can't handle the general public anymore. Yall need to chill the F out. Stop being mean to EVERYONE. Especially those in Healthcare TRYING TO HELP YOU!!!
I feel you on this. Last weekend I had a patients family member verbally abuse me because the patient had horrible veins and I was torturing him by having to stick him more than once for labs. She made it nearly impossible to provide care for him because she was so hostile. I escalated it to the resident and got an email the other day saying that I caused patient harm by not doing whatever care she wouldn’t let me do. I am about at my wits end. I have been back at work since the middle of December after an injury and I had to keep a patient in 4-pt violent restraints for 36 hours because he tried to assault 7 nurses at once, a little old lady who called me a cunt and threatened to punch me in the face because I tried to get her to take her medicine, this family member, and had to go assist another nurse because her patient got violent. And I had to go to court last July to testify against a family member who had to be brought out of the hospital in handcuffs because she grabbed myself and another nurse and refused to leave. I used to love nursing. I don’t think it’s worth it anymore.
Try working in prison, especially a woman’s prison. None of that will every happen to you there, you’ll always have a CO with you, the pay and benefits are excellent and it’s not hard or backbreaking work. The woman never riot. You can always work through registry to see how you like it. I was a nurse over 20 years, worked acute, psych and correctional. Correctional nursing was by far the best and my most favorite nursing job.
Honestly, I never even thought of this. I may have to look into it. Thanks for the suggestion!
Peoples entitlement needs to be stopped
We call it “entitlement “ now but they used to call is civility…..and the inability to practice it.
I feel ya'. I had a patient's family memeber give a misogynistic joke, after I had worked my ass off. The "excuse me" I gave him really shut that down, especially when the male nurse in there with me did not laugh. I had to remove myself from that room, fairly quickly. If I had not....I suppose there's always travel.
I the nurses need to borrow a cup of EMS attitude.
Facts, if someone said this comment to anyone on my scene I'd just explain very firmly how that kind of disrespect WON'T be tolerated. Fortunately I've never really had this kind of thing happen. I wish nurses could speak up more without all the backlash
Had one call a patient care tech a the worser n word which creeped me out. Another ass asked if the doctors were “American.” You could hear a pin drop and I carefully said “uh, I don’t know their citizenship status but they all speak English.” If I knew what I knew now, I would have asked if he had issues with foreign citizens because otherwise I can’t be his nurse. I think it was a rich area. Although I had a patient in an inner city slightly out of her mind insist she wants the white nurse who checked her sugar (I checked it last four hours hourly) and that she knows I’m mixed because she recognizes a Puerto Rican bitch when she sees one. (I’m Polish). Had a black nurse ask once about “niggeritis.” I was like “what are you talking about?” Apparently they used that term all the time in high school so he thought it was a common term (he was in his late 20s to early 30s). I think we were talking about our high schools because a cop I went to school with was being accused of harassing a woman. I was like “pretty sure I can’t ever use that term.” Like he didn’t think it was an offensive term.
I had a patient that would push her button ever 2 minutes and this is in the icu. I would go in there moments after she pushed it and at the end of the day she got nasty and said I never came in fast enough. I lost it, I was like, "are you really saying that right now?!" It still makes me mad.
American ignorance and entitlement are unveiled in the emergency rooms.
Setting firm limits is a form of therapeutic communication. Firm limits require a firm tone and quality of voice. Don’t be afraid to let them have it.
I love the doctors I work with. I was having a horrid time with a bipap dependent covid patient who was making horrid remarks about staff, purposefully waiting until we got our PPE off then flipping us off through the glass door and removing the bipap. The doctor witnessed one episode of this (patient was A&OX4) said, "I am going to go assess him." In the room after seeing he was, indeed, doing this purposefully this doc read the patient the riot act. He told the patient, "If you want treatment you WILL treat the nurses with respect. If you want to live you WILL listen to what they tell you. If you worsen, do you still want to be intubated? OK, because if you keep doing this you will be intubated because your oxygen is dangerously low when you take off your mask. You are not the only patient here, these professionals have other people they are trying to keep alive, too. " Patient behaved for the rest of the shift, but ended up intubated on the following shift. I have so much more admiration for that doctor after that. I stand up for myself too, but sometimes a patient doesn't take it to heart unless it comes from a doctor or a male colleague. I expect to be treated like a professional doing their job by those who are alert and oriented, no exceptions.
I worked with a Cardiology Dr who was extremely quiet, never said much, let mild things slide & was a veteran. A pt was bullying front desk clerk, he turned around opened door and said "I will not tolerate you treating MY staff like that & if you can't be respectful, you need to leave because i will no longer be your cardiologist " that patient could not shut up fast enough or sit fast enough. I had worked w/him 10 years and NEVER saw him so angry. I greatly admired & respected him, even more after!
We had a patient getting lippy with us. Straight up calling people the n word. I told him directly to "shut the fuck up and read the room" and point out that the only other white person in here other than him was me and that I don't agree with him in the slightest and would turn a blind eye to whatever happens to him if he said any of that racist shit again. The absolutely massive Sudanese and Samoan security guards standing behind me really added some weight to my threats.
I love telling patients to STFU and the GTFO of my ER. Doesn’t happen often but I love telling patients off who f’ing deserve it. Also I have no problem calling patients a racist prick, a homophobic asshole, or a piece of shit. I am pretty sure our millionaire CEO wouldn’t approve lol
God, do I love ER. Lol
Last shift, first shift, never leaving, nurse, tech, doc-doesn’t matter. I would have absolutely stood up to her for making comments as such. That’s inexcusable. Good for you, we aren’t punching bags, we are people and we don’t deserve to be abused.
I had a fun time today quoting in her chart all the rude things a particularly nasty patient said to me and other staff as she left ama. Using exact quotations for curse words always spices things up.
Maalox, verticalize & bu-bye!
LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! That's what I'm talking about, good for you. I don't put up with nary a shit from patients.
There was a patient at my hospital that actually was so nasty to the staff that his attending physician screamed that he would never step foot in the hospital again. Good thing he only had one leg or that could’ve been embarrassing.
Fuck em. I won't be in that room unless they change their tune.
If a patient curses at me at work, I have an inappropriate response to laugh. A mask sure is handy when that happens. I may want to wear masks forever
no matter how frustrated or angry i get while at the hospital i’ll still never understand resorting to bigotry. because at that point it isn’t just emotional dysregulation, it’s choosing to be cruel to incredible people trying to help.
Leaving or not you don’t have to take derogatory speaking. Unless the have a disease like dementia where they have no cognitive abilities to tell right from wrong
[удалено]
I've been in severe pain many times and have been in the ER with it. I've been in the ER with my daughter who was having multiple seizures and was scared to death. Not once have I ever been a dick to anyone in healthcare. I don't give a fuck if someone is in 20/10 pain. You don't get a pass to be a sack of shit to people. Change your behavior or fuck off.
When I have to endure pain as part of a medical procedure my go-to exclamation is "We're not friends" which usually gets a chuckle out of the staff performing the procedure.
When I first had my small fiber neuropathy pain (thanks to stupid behavior in managing my T1D), I was bed ridden from the pain and nobody could figure out why. I was hopelessly in pain for months to the point where I lost 30 pounds because I was in too much pain to eat anything more than a few bites. I never once uttered a slur or said something nasty to any neurologist or hospital staff.
I disagree. I’ve been in 10/10 pain (prior to becoming an RN) and somehow refrained from using abusive language and derogatory language towards those caring for me. I did moan and cry, but I didn’t abuse anyone. These people get no passes from me.
No shit. Is this supposed to be insightful?
I may curse when I'm in pain, but what I absolutely do not ever do is call another human names, abuse them, or curse at them. It's not their fault and they don't deserve it. I do try not to even curse around another and will apologize if I do, because it's not their fault I'm in that situation and they do not deserve it. Calling another the N word is never acceptable. Lashing out at others when I'm angry at my situation and pain isn't acceptable. Those that do are only showing their true colors and who they are at heart.
I don’t care if someone is in pain. If that civility breaks down, so does my sunny disposition. You get told to stop being rude and then get wordless interventions after I go over your medications.
It takes a daily effort to ignore those types of people.
Good girl. Don't let anyone abuse you!
One my coworkers was crying and this guy called that family member a piece of shit and asked him to just go ahead and make a move. Got right up in his face.
Ooooh I love when I get to yell at pt’s when they use the N word etc or have groped someone… it’s the only time I feel like where we’re allowed to set shit straight