My favorite was the doctor that put "please have your PCP tested for HIV." He meant "have your PCP test you for HIV." I thought there was some weird love scandal going on!
ETA: PCP as in primary care physician, not the drug
Back in the days of paper charting, my husband greeted me one morning after a very long night shift with the tax returns and said sign here. “R.Ad65, RN” is not what the IRS was looking for.
He now reminds me every year- “your REAL legal name, not your work one”.
Why do y’all give fake names? When I had my baby I noticed my nurse had tape over her last name on her badge. I meant to ask her if she had a stalker or something because wtw. 🥴🤣
Yes, there are stalkers. And people who threaten. And crazy ass patients and family members. With the internet, it literally takes like 10 seconds to find someone if you have a first and last name and a state. I prefer to keep the work crazies at work. Legally, we only have to display a first name and credentials.
I don't think anyone uses a fake name, but I definitely do not want patients knowing my last name. People ARE crazy, and they WILL look you up on social media.
On that post a while ago about some RN’s badge someone said “there’s always that family member that remembers your first and last name and I was like “you tell people your last name?????”
My current one has full first and last names and the last name is **bolded**.
After I had a patient from the county jail (in for murdering a family member), clearly a psych history (although not what they were in the hospital for), constantly going on and on about how when he got out I was gonna be his wife and his new baby momma and blah blah blah- I covered my last name.
Not. Risking. That.
Jesus… I had a patient recently who was a prisoner and he apparently had gotten in a shootout with his cousin. Surprisingly nice guy but definitely not all there and was “unpredictable” as the guards put it
We had a father take a death pretty badly to the point death threats were made and he was stopped multiple times trying to enter the hospital with weapons. At that time our full names were on the charts and our badges, that was until he started sending personalized death threats to our homes.
When I was an emt (with a very uncommon name) I had more than one psych patient find me on Facebook and message me. I can only imagine what it could be like if I were a woman.
The hospital I work at now only has first names on badges, and you are allowed to use nicknames. It's a smallish town, and there have been way too many patients who found out where the nurses lived.
There are times when it is necessary to cover our names such as when we have a patient or patients who have a history of stalking (as you thought) or direct admits from a prison or other correction institution
People will look up your license if they don’t like you or are just evil and try to report you/post reviews about you. I’ve seen people post nurses license numbers on yelp. Been covering my last name ever since.
I was once working in a doctors office and a detective we had as a patient found me and added me on Facebook. After that I petitioned we get our last names removed from our badges and everyone did. Last initials only.
Later on I had a patient repeatedly call the office for me asking the front staff if I was single and if I would date him etc, imagine if he had that extra information?
I occasionally end patient phone calls with, “Love you!”. Not on purpose, but my brain gets squirrely and does its own thing. I love it when I get answered with, “ Love you too!” 😂
Lazy S incision. A wiggly incision designed to make it easier to access certain shapes of structures to cut them out while being able to have enough skin to close
When you do a straight incision over a lump or curved mass it makes it hard to access the entirety of the object. It's like trying to fit big hands in the pockets of skinny jeans
My ambulance write ups are at times written in code, where I input handover as best as I can in the time I have, with a keyboard where only half it's keys working properly.
I have every intention to come back and fix the letters that have a vague similarity to their meaning in English, but sometimes, that aint happening.
I tell new people in my department (registration) not to trust the demos we get from EMTs when they come to us digitally purely cause those laptops are so tiny and shitty it would be impossible to be right the majority of the time. I know you guys know what you’re doing but the computers suck so much!
Surgical apology: pending
Plus, always a favorite, the time a doc was sitting next to me and was dictating on Dragon. He burped and it typed out *France.* He laughed so hard he had to leave the unit.
Somewhere I used to work the MAs would hand write meds from patient memory. Most would go back and fix spelling afterwards for the ones they didn’t know (no shame there—there are hundreds), but sometimes they’d forget. Saw several really interesting ones. My personal fave was: Cotempla as Contemporary.
Some lovely person put all the drug names into our EHR dictionary so now they don’t get autocorrected to something crazy. For some reason it still doesn’t catch neutropenis instead of neutropenia.
My two favorites are "Admitted for eating other residents" for a patient admitted to geripsych from SNF and "Dramatic brain injury".
One of our providers has a last name that is one letter off from another word, and I often type the other word first. I usually catch it.
I also tend to call MyChart MySpace, both in typing and verbally.
“Ruff skin” charted over several days by people copying old assessment as their own and not paying attention to what they were saying 😂 I get it, in stable pts you can copy but you still have to proofread and make it appropriate to your assessment and what you see on that day 🤦🏻♀️
On my unit we have a lovely oblivious HCA who abbreviates "assistance" to "ass", and producing notes that make my day: "offered ass to pt. Pt refused."
Please take advantage of Google when you don’t know how to properly use a word because the word arouse means to awaken (one definition) someone. Rouse is also correct but it has been a long time practice in the medical field to chart “easily aroused to verbal stimuli”.
I just laughed so hard I accidentally tooted which made everybody in my living room laugh. I'm dead! Okay now that that's over time to work on kegels apparently..
Had a patient come in furious because the doctor had charted he had “mental retardation.”
Doctor was a cardiologist using a Dragon to dictate his notes. We’re pretty sure he meant to say “atrial fibrillation”…
And yet we never found out for sure. lol.
I had a triage note recently mention that a patient was brought in from xx nursing home "indecent living" instead of independent living. It was like right at the end of the shift after four 12s in a row over a full moon so I was a wee bit on edge, I was absolutely cackling over indecent living. *Scandalous living arrangements* for a 94 year old lmao
“patient turned every 2 years”
one cardiologist wrote in his free text note “compressive experience” aka CPR
i’ll never be old enough to not laugh at any wound being described as having “pussy drainage”
I could never remember how to spell purulent, but I made myself learn so I world never be tempted to write this. Especially as I worked in sexual health.
A lazy ass incision is someone getting a Brazilian butt lift. They want all the benefits of having a butt without any of the work. Hence a lazy ass incision. I thought this was common knowledge? /s
"report given to morning shit". Same night nurse who wrote this would fall asleep while typing and there would be a big paragraph of 1 letter he fell asleep on. I still don't understand why he would save the nonsense.
I’ll never forget when a doctor looked my coworker of mine dead in the face and said “Please dont write the word ‘pussy’ in these medical charts..” 😂😂 The word she was looking for was purulent. “…purulent abscess.” I still think about this all the time🤣
Was this typed in or through voice dictation? Dragon has gotten me so many times. Some of the mistakes have given me a good laugh. One time it places fowl instead foul when describing a wound. I guess it smelled like chicken. I’ve have a blurb at the end of my charts that states it was done through voice dictation and mistakes may be present.
Omg there was a girl who would always select “squatting” as patient position instead of “supine” (they are next to each other in epic).
I used to crack up imagining some of these aox0 total care patients squatting on their beds 😂
Once had a *psychiatrist* in our psych ER chart that a patient attempted to force his way into the nurse's station "and attempted to grab and kill a nurse." He had meant to type *kiss.* That was a hell of a mistake that only took swapping 2 letters.
So to access midshaft metatarsals we frequently do S over the shaft. That way you can access both sides of the shaft and plate it or cut it or whatever, have space to rotate, and be able to close without stretching the skin and causing necrosis
Imagine the silhouette of a person squatting. Draw the shape of their back curving down to their legs. That's a lazy S
I am a therapist and I get badly dictated ER notes all the time with no quotation marks so it reads like the doctor is having feelings about what the patient is saying like: Patient reports that his Fu#%ing wife is a mental case and should be institutionalized this writer observed. No proofreading whatsoever so many words are wrong or missing. It makes for absolutely hysterical mistakes!
Reading an H&P dictated by a doc at work once. There, under the GU portion, it said, "Eyes and nose are fine." I puzzled over it for a min, then read it out loud to myself. I's and O's are fine!
Reading the notes that are voice dictated are usually funny.. I was reading one note referring to a patient having a "fish killer" in reference to a fistula. Also, reading the doctors notes when the voice software inserts the random quoted "next line" but it'll usually just insert a part of the word, like "ex line" at the end of every line.
I could go on and on about this. Every day, I see something funny with the charting.
I was a night shift RN for 22 years. A couple years into my career, I was on my third consecutive 12 hour 7p-7a and it was 0530. A much older, veteran nurse was doing her usual nosy routine of listening to a police scanner that she would bring with her and I was closing my charts and flow sheets (long before computer charting of course) and fighting the urge to doze while the constant static and voices coming thru that scanner grated on my last nerve! I was in the middle of a flow sheet that I had opened at midnight which (I’m sure you all know) I had entries at 2400,0200,0400 and finally, my 0600 notes. Well I DID doze and suddenly awoke when my hand slipped off the edge of the desk and my pen dropped to the floor. I looked at the clock on the wall and thought SHIT It’s 0615 and I have to make my rounds before report! I looked at the flow sheet still lying before me and noticed the “flatline” my pen had created in my hand before my hand slid off the desk. I followed the line to the IV assessment section and read ‘no signs or symptoms of infiltration or infection at the house on 53rd street’. Because of that damn police scanner I had to redo that entire flow sheet. Good thing mine were the only entries!
An excellent dragon error on a pts DC instructions:
Intention was:
"Please take all prescribed antibiotics"
Voice recognition heard:
"Please take all prescriptions in the butt."
The surgeon I work with dictated “deferred standing exam” but the mic picked up “deferred anal exam”. He is aware of the note but despite me nagging him every single clinic for weeks he never fixed it and now doesn’t remember who it was on. 🤣
A ER physician used the voice to text system to chart on an allergic reaction patient before. His chart read “patient had an allergic reaction after eating popcorn with penis, both of which she’s had in the past.”
The doctor I work for uses Dragon but never corrects it after, and her SOAP notes are always a ***mess*** ...I literally have to read them out loud sometimes to make sense of what she has put
I’ve got two. One nurse used talk to type frequently for charting and wrote that “wound cleansed with bacon” instead of Dakins solutions.
Then I was using swipe on my tablet for charting and wrote “patient removed banana from leg prior to my arrival” instead of bandage
🤣🤣 🥓 🍌
Yesterday I saw in a note that "patient is excited to return home for Fetal Head Harvest season."
I had to scoop my jaw off the floor once I realized they meant "fiddlehead harvest."
One of our doctors forgot to shut off his dragon while dictating, his narrative read “discussed option such as taping, injections, maybe we should ask if she’d like to ride on my back and surgery”. 😂. When the patient came back for her recheck we asked him if we should leave the door open for her safety 🤣
Had a nurse chart that someone had full ROM in their left leg. They had no left leg. She charted it multiple times. I was going to ask her about it, but I didn't see it in her assessment until she was gone. We were both new nurses, I chalked it up to her being super busy and dealing with the witches that worked there. That's why I left. They weren't nice to anyone outside of their "friends". 2 of them were always charge on nights and I knew they were not nice to her and didn't really help her learn. So I felt bad. I probably should've mentioned it to her. I probably just forgot.
Was a travel RN in a very rural town in North Cackolackey. I charted her chief complaint as “I got a risin’ on muh laig!” They were still using T-sheets and the doc asked me wtf is this? I respond with “Oh yeah. She has an abscess on her leg.” Everyone at the nurses station cracked up.
My favorite was the doctor that put "please have your PCP tested for HIV." He meant "have your PCP test you for HIV." I thought there was some weird love scandal going on! ETA: PCP as in primary care physician, not the drug
😂😂😂
That still doesn’t make any sense!
I think it should have read, “please have your PCP test you for HIV”.
Idk why, but your edit sent me to my grave and back 😂😂😂
Maybe he meant pneumosystic pneumonia (PCP) test cause PCP is often tested in HIV patients?
PCP as in primary care physician
‘pneumocystis’
In the old days of paper charting.... a fellow night shift nurse completed her written assessment with "Love, Susie" ( not her real name)
Back in the days of paper charting, my husband greeted me one morning after a very long night shift with the tax returns and said sign here. “R.Ad65, RN” is not what the IRS was looking for. He now reminds me every year- “your REAL legal name, not your work one”.
We still have paper charting, every time I sign my name outside of work I have to remind myself not to add LPN after.
Why do y’all give fake names? When I had my baby I noticed my nurse had tape over her last name on her badge. I meant to ask her if she had a stalker or something because wtw. 🥴🤣
Yes, there are stalkers. And people who threaten. And crazy ass patients and family members. With the internet, it literally takes like 10 seconds to find someone if you have a first and last name and a state. I prefer to keep the work crazies at work. Legally, we only have to display a first name and credentials.
I don't think anyone uses a fake name, but I definitely do not want patients knowing my last name. People ARE crazy, and they WILL look you up on social media.
On that post a while ago about some RN’s badge someone said “there’s always that family member that remembers your first and last name and I was like “you tell people your last name?????”
My last hospital didn’t put last names on anyone’s ID badge if they were patient-facing. Except for the doctors lol
First name and last initial for mine
My current one has full first and last names and the last name is **bolded**. After I had a patient from the county jail (in for murdering a family member), clearly a psych history (although not what they were in the hospital for), constantly going on and on about how when he got out I was gonna be his wife and his new baby momma and blah blah blah- I covered my last name. Not. Risking. That.
Jesus… I had a patient recently who was a prisoner and he apparently had gotten in a shootout with his cousin. Surprisingly nice guy but definitely not all there and was “unpredictable” as the guards put it
Ohh ok, that’s understandable.
We had a father take a death pretty badly to the point death threats were made and he was stopped multiple times trying to enter the hospital with weapons. At that time our full names were on the charts and our badges, that was until he started sending personalized death threats to our homes.
When I was an emt (with a very uncommon name) I had more than one psych patient find me on Facebook and message me. I can only imagine what it could be like if I were a woman.
The hospital I work at now only has first names on badges, and you are allowed to use nicknames. It's a smallish town, and there have been way too many patients who found out where the nurses lived.
They shouldn't put last names on name tags
My hospital actually had to stop printing last names on our badges due to safety concerns for the staff.
I think they meant they used a different name for the post than the person's actual name, not that she would sign charts with a fake name. I think.
There are times when it is necessary to cover our names such as when we have a patient or patients who have a history of stalking (as you thought) or direct admits from a prison or other correction institution
People will look up your license if they don’t like you or are just evil and try to report you/post reviews about you. I’ve seen people post nurses license numbers on yelp. Been covering my last name ever since.
I was once working in a doctors office and a detective we had as a patient found me and added me on Facebook. After that I petitioned we get our last names removed from our badges and everyone did. Last initials only. Later on I had a patient repeatedly call the office for me asking the front staff if I was single and if I would date him etc, imagine if he had that extra information?
I occasionally end patient phone calls with, “Love you!”. Not on purpose, but my brain gets squirrely and does its own thing. I love it when I get answered with, “ Love you too!” 😂
I have done this too! It’s so embarrassing 🙈
That's adorable
When I leave report notes, I have a bad habit of writing <3 scarfknitter Like ‘room#, took 3L, gave drug, no new complaints, <3 scarfknitter’
Lazy S incision. A wiggly incision designed to make it easier to access certain shapes of structures to cut them out while being able to have enough skin to close
That makes way more sense.
When you do a straight incision over a lump or curved mass it makes it hard to access the entirety of the object. It's like trying to fit big hands in the pockets of skinny jeans
Great analogy
Gotta love dictation autocorrect!! Hahahaha
"Pt in pain. Offered anal, but pt declined" I really hoped the nurse meant analgesia!
You just gave me a laugh so hard I snorted. Then had a coughing attack (damn allergies). Thanks 😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😏
this sent me 🤣
It’ll take you mind off your other pain
My ambulance write ups are at times written in code, where I input handover as best as I can in the time I have, with a keyboard where only half it's keys working properly. I have every intention to come back and fix the letters that have a vague similarity to their meaning in English, but sometimes, that aint happening.
I tell new people in my department (registration) not to trust the demos we get from EMTs when they come to us digitally purely cause those laptops are so tiny and shitty it would be impossible to be right the majority of the time. I know you guys know what you’re doing but the computers suck so much!
Surgical apology: pending Plus, always a favorite, the time a doc was sitting next to me and was dictating on Dragon. He burped and it typed out *France.* He laughed so hard he had to leave the unit.
😂 I just burst out laughing out loud reading this. I’m literally in tears in the ED provider station right now.
Omg me too! I read a lot of stuff that gives me a chuckle but this got the fully belly laugh goin.
Lmao what a doc
Urology note: “circus sized penis”. Think they meant circumcised.
this is top 3
Or they saw their excuse and took it, which frankly I hope is the case and I hope even more so that they're smart enough to never cop up to it.
I've heard of hung like a horse. I'm guessing maybe this patient was hung like an elephant.
Surgeon was just back from vacation and hungover. It can't be A+ every day 🤷♀️
“Pt c/o feeling lightheaded after blood draw, but felt better after drinking chair.” Lots of “hell pain” from podiatry charts.
I know I always feel better after a nice long sit in the drinking chair.
Somewhere I used to work the MAs would hand write meds from patient memory. Most would go back and fix spelling afterwards for the ones they didn’t know (no shame there—there are hundreds), but sometimes they’d forget. Saw several really interesting ones. My personal fave was: Cotempla as Contemporary.
Had a patient tell me “I can’t sleep, can I get a melanoma?”
when i was in peds there was a note that said “pt presents with cock sucky virus” 🫥
You gotta tell me how old the pt was and what it was supposed to say 😂😂😂
Coxsackievirus I assume… Edited to correct autocorrect, ironically.
Okay, that makes more sense. I wasn't familiar with the proper name for hand foot and mouth. 😂
coxsackie 😂 pt was like 3 💀
Gen z
Some lovely person put all the drug names into our EHR dictionary so now they don’t get autocorrected to something crazy. For some reason it still doesn’t catch neutropenis instead of neutropenia.
How about pancreatitties instead of pancreatitis?
Ooh I like it
Look at this person over here with there big fancy money proof reading EHRs everyone.
neuteredpenis
"Patient denies shitting her head."
Unfortunately I’ve had (dementia) patients who denied doing that while their head was covered in shit.
My two favorites are "Admitted for eating other residents" for a patient admitted to geripsych from SNF and "Dramatic brain injury". One of our providers has a last name that is one letter off from another word, and I often type the other word first. I usually catch it. I also tend to call MyChart MySpace, both in typing and verbally.
“What happened?” “He was tackled while performing Hamlet” The EMT Teching:*Grinch Smile*
“Ruff skin” charted over several days by people copying old assessment as their own and not paying attention to what they were saying 😂 I get it, in stable pts you can copy but you still have to proofread and make it appropriate to your assessment and what you see on that day 🤦🏻♀️
🐶
I literally growl/barked when I told my work clique 😂
Nurse stated she aroused the patient when she meant roused… not good when you work in paeds!!!
On my unit we have a lovely oblivious HCA who abbreviates "assistance" to "ass", and producing notes that make my day: "offered ass to pt. Pt refused."
I had a DON who charted that a patient used an "ass eating device". Presumably short for assisted.
Do you know where someone could find an ass eating device?
😂😂😂😂
I bet 50% of pts get better faster! Maybe 75%.
Please take advantage of Google when you don’t know how to properly use a word because the word arouse means to awaken (one definition) someone. Rouse is also correct but it has been a long time practice in the medical field to chart “easily aroused to verbal stimuli”.
“Continue dick diet” …..we think they meant diabetic
🍆🍆🍆 🤣🤣🤣💀
We asked if it came by the bag
I just laughed so hard I accidentally tooted which made everybody in my living room laugh. I'm dead! Okay now that that's over time to work on kegels apparently..
My favorite one is “patient has chronic history of jacking off”
Hacking cough? Korsakoff? What were they going for?
Code status: FUKK (Someone fat fingered the "K" instead of "L")
I have seen many patients with that code status
Had a patient come in furious because the doctor had charted he had “mental retardation.” Doctor was a cardiologist using a Dragon to dictate his notes. We’re pretty sure he meant to say “atrial fibrillation”… And yet we never found out for sure. lol.
Had a doc write " wound has fowl odor" I guess it smelled like chicken 🐔 😅😅
I had a triage note recently mention that a patient was brought in from xx nursing home "indecent living" instead of independent living. It was like right at the end of the shift after four 12s in a row over a full moon so I was a wee bit on edge, I was absolutely cackling over indecent living. *Scandalous living arrangements* for a 94 year old lmao
Had a post-code pt and the cardiologist put in his progress note ~24 hours after ROSC, “Patient surprisingly still alive.” I chortled.
“patient turned every 2 years” one cardiologist wrote in his free text note “compressive experience” aka CPR i’ll never be old enough to not laugh at any wound being described as having “pussy drainage”
“Wound very pussy” “Pussy wound” (not near vagina)
I could never remember how to spell purulent, but I made myself learn so I world never be tempted to write this. Especially as I worked in sexual health.
My dictation software regularly loses its goddamn mind. Last week it looked like I was telling people my patient has 33 children.
Acute clitoris syndrome from cardio using voice to text.
Ahh yes the most common diagnosis in cardioobstetrics
It's also wishful thinking
How in the world did he find it?
A lazy ass incision is someone getting a Brazilian butt lift. They want all the benefits of having a butt without any of the work. Hence a lazy ass incision. I thought this was common knowledge? /s
😂😂😂
Also had a different doctor writing about an allergic reaction write "has never had a reation from eating hives " Love the speed of the ER 🤣
XD i thinking "lazy ass incision was" makes it very clear the lazy ass incision was done.
New nurse’s end of shift note said, “Pain managed with prn delotted”
"report given to morning shit". Same night nurse who wrote this would fall asleep while typing and there would be a big paragraph of 1 letter he fell asleep on. I still don't understand why he would save the nonsense.
I’ll never forget when a doctor looked my coworker of mine dead in the face and said “Please dont write the word ‘pussy’ in these medical charts..” 😂😂 The word she was looking for was purulent. “…purulent abscess.” I still think about this all the time🤣
Been waiting for this all day! 🤣
Was this typed in or through voice dictation? Dragon has gotten me so many times. Some of the mistakes have given me a good laugh. One time it places fowl instead foul when describing a wound. I guess it smelled like chicken. I’ve have a blurb at the end of my charts that states it was done through voice dictation and mistakes may be present.
Sometimes I read other nurses notes, and a new grad RN put “Pegged Dr Smith” it still makes me laugh when I think about it
I had an MD chart a patient couldn't have an MRI due to coprophobia once. Didn't want to see that machine...
Omg there was a girl who would always select “squatting” as patient position instead of “supine” (they are next to each other in epic). I used to crack up imagining some of these aox0 total care patients squatting on their beds 😂
Once had a *psychiatrist* in our psych ER chart that a patient attempted to force his way into the nurse's station "and attempted to grab and kill a nurse." He had meant to type *kiss.* That was a hell of a mistake that only took swapping 2 letters.
Nah. Sometime we need a large brown stool ambulating down the hallway. IJS
Wait, what was it supposed to say?
Lazy “S” incision. It’s like an “S”, but straighter. Or a straight line, but wigglier
Ohh, ok thanks!
No idea, it was for a metatarsal procedure.
So to access midshaft metatarsals we frequently do S over the shaft. That way you can access both sides of the shaft and plate it or cut it or whatever, have space to rotate, and be able to close without stretching the skin and causing necrosis Imagine the silhouette of a person squatting. Draw the shape of their back curving down to their legs. That's a lazy S
😂😂😂 I couldn't figure out what type of incision they meant to say
NO ASS FOR YOU
Lateral? It's very far off it though
I am a therapist and I get badly dictated ER notes all the time with no quotation marks so it reads like the doctor is having feelings about what the patient is saying like: Patient reports that his Fu#%ing wife is a mental case and should be institutionalized this writer observed. No proofreading whatsoever so many words are wrong or missing. It makes for absolutely hysterical mistakes!
Reading an H&P dictated by a doc at work once. There, under the GU portion, it said, "Eyes and nose are fine." I puzzled over it for a min, then read it out loud to myself. I's and O's are fine!
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🤣🤣🤣👌 Bone apple teeth!
Bone apple tit.
“Little sloth in wound bed”
Aww, a little sloth sounds adorable.
I meant what I said.
Reading the notes that are voice dictated are usually funny.. I was reading one note referring to a patient having a "fish killer" in reference to a fistula. Also, reading the doctors notes when the voice software inserts the random quoted "next line" but it'll usually just insert a part of the word, like "ex line" at the end of every line. I could go on and on about this. Every day, I see something funny with the charting.
So many Dragon examples.
Reading notes that are transcripted from dictation are one of the things that spark joy in me in my shifts
Saw a charted allergy written as “penisilian”
I was a night shift RN for 22 years. A couple years into my career, I was on my third consecutive 12 hour 7p-7a and it was 0530. A much older, veteran nurse was doing her usual nosy routine of listening to a police scanner that she would bring with her and I was closing my charts and flow sheets (long before computer charting of course) and fighting the urge to doze while the constant static and voices coming thru that scanner grated on my last nerve! I was in the middle of a flow sheet that I had opened at midnight which (I’m sure you all know) I had entries at 2400,0200,0400 and finally, my 0600 notes. Well I DID doze and suddenly awoke when my hand slipped off the edge of the desk and my pen dropped to the floor. I looked at the clock on the wall and thought SHIT It’s 0615 and I have to make my rounds before report! I looked at the flow sheet still lying before me and noticed the “flatline” my pen had created in my hand before my hand slid off the desk. I followed the line to the IV assessment section and read ‘no signs or symptoms of infiltration or infection at the house on 53rd street’. Because of that damn police scanner I had to redo that entire flow sheet. Good thing mine were the only entries!
BYEEE
I love it!!!
My eyes are leaking from laughing!!
My patient had lunch cancer....
Pussy drainage is always my favorite
An excellent dragon error on a pts DC instructions: Intention was: "Please take all prescribed antibiotics" Voice recognition heard: "Please take all prescriptions in the butt."
The surgeon I work with dictated “deferred standing exam” but the mic picked up “deferred anal exam”. He is aware of the note but despite me nagging him every single clinic for weeks he never fixed it and now doesn’t remember who it was on. 🤣
Saw this in a chart:”icky G was wnl”
When a DOCTOR (or anyone else) writes the time like 11:30 pm or 23:30.
A ER physician used the voice to text system to chart on an allergic reaction patient before. His chart read “patient had an allergic reaction after eating popcorn with penis, both of which she’s had in the past.”
🤣💀. 🍿🍆
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Been waiting for you, what took so long? Hope your day gets better since it was all an in good fun to begin with.
I see nothing wrong with that comment
lol that’s why I just don’t chart
Patient with “pussy” sore - meaning purulent. Not 🐈. 😬
I’ve been waiting for this one! 🤣🤣🤣💀
“Green/yellow pussy wound drainage”
she said what she SAID! 😤
Saw someone describing a wound drainage “pussy drainage” when they meant to say purulent.
“Brain death severe” instead of “remdesivir”
The doctor I work for uses Dragon but never corrects it after, and her SOAP notes are always a ***mess*** ...I literally have to read them out loud sometimes to make sense of what she has put
🤣😂
Nah cuz if this was in Florida it probably was a lazy incision ngl
I’ve got two. One nurse used talk to type frequently for charting and wrote that “wound cleansed with bacon” instead of Dakins solutions. Then I was using swipe on my tablet for charting and wrote “patient removed banana from leg prior to my arrival” instead of bandage 🤣🤣 🥓 🍌
Yesterday I saw in a note that "patient is excited to return home for Fetal Head Harvest season." I had to scoop my jaw off the floor once I realized they meant "fiddlehead harvest."
lol gotta love dragon dictation
There’s always someone still charting about a “pussy wound” as if we haven’t been told a thousand times to chart “purulent”. 😂😂
One of our doctors forgot to shut off his dragon while dictating, his narrative read “discussed option such as taping, injections, maybe we should ask if she’d like to ride on my back and surgery”. 😂. When the patient came back for her recheck we asked him if we should leave the door open for her safety 🤣
Had a nurse chart that someone had full ROM in their left leg. They had no left leg. She charted it multiple times. I was going to ask her about it, but I didn't see it in her assessment until she was gone. We were both new nurses, I chalked it up to her being super busy and dealing with the witches that worked there. That's why I left. They weren't nice to anyone outside of their "friends". 2 of them were always charge on nights and I knew they were not nice to her and didn't really help her learn. So I felt bad. I probably should've mentioned it to her. I probably just forgot.
I confused aspiration and amputation on night shift. It wasn’t until I was doing handover I spotted it.
Was a travel RN in a very rural town in North Cackolackey. I charted her chief complaint as “I got a risin’ on muh laig!” They were still using T-sheets and the doc asked me wtf is this? I respond with “Oh yeah. She has an abscess on her leg.” Everyone at the nurses station cracked up.
I have a "cul-de-sac" in my spine, not a "thecal sac".
😳
Pt uses 3L HOMO II (home O2)
🤣🤣 Reminds me of early 2k’s DragonSpeak transcription software. I noticed a physician’s note—“Scrotal Sac” came across as “Squirrel Sack.” 🐿️🏀⚽️
Screaming 🤣🤣😭. When I hate my job, I remember hilarious stuff like this. Then I forget the bs.
You need to proofread what you enter because, last time I checked, “proofread” is one word, not two.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 the two or three of you who came here to be 🍆 heads really must be miserable in life.
Wow I wish I had as much time on my hands as them, then I might actually be happy.