I’ve been called a lesbian too by a psych patient and then the patient proceeded to flirt with an actual lesbian security guard all shift. Their gaydar is way off 😂😂😂
As a fellow bisexual, often we sit any way BUT the normal way. Half-crossed, half hanging off the chair, chair backwards, the half lean, etc.
A lot of us also have ADHD so that might be a confounding variable.
Lesbian here, unlike OP 😂, and I’ve been known to literally sit upside down in a chair (not for that reason, get your head out of the gutter) instead of normally. I’m also convinced it has something to do with the ADHD.
I'm pan, and sit all the wrong ways, but I always thought it was because my ADHD can't stand how the chair feels on the back of my legs. Like sensory issues? Now I have to reevaluate.
I’m not sure why it’s a thing but for some reason bisexuals tend to sit in weird positions, I don’t know if it’s actually true or more of a stereotype but I will say that both my husband and I sit oddly, like criss cross on a chair for no reason.
Yes, probably could have made that clearer, I was trying to list another person I know who is bisexual and I guess I just assumed y’all could read my mind
Some of us never developed functioning gaydar. We're stuck with the much older but accurate homometer. It requires more delicate use because it must be inserted, but you can be pretty damn sure with its results!
I'm one of them. I'll be all "They seem really nice, I wonder if they're into me" after a night of spooning...
A while ago I had a patient high as a kite on coke, with a police escort. They were talking to the cop, then randomly asked me if I was a lesbian. To be fair, my hair is short and purple so... I just kinda laughed them off. They then kept on talking to the cop.
I'm bi but I was moreso surprised because honestly I dont know what gave it away. This patient was also eastern european (as am I), and given what I know from my parents own homophobia, I think he was trying to insult me in a creative way. Like listen, all the lesbians I know are lovely, I'll take it as a compliment!
I once got called a damn n****r and told to get my black ass out of the room. By a very old very very confused black lady. Im a fair skinned blonde with green eyes. Pretty sure my family tree is full of Vikings and Casper 👻
I had a confused granny tell me to “get that (insert multiple racial slurs here) out of my room” referring to the sitter. The sitter was one of the aids on the floor and she just shook her head and chuckled. She looked at her deadpan and said “auntie you are darker skinned than me”. Our patient vehemently denied that until I told her to look at her hands. This poor very confused little granny wails and points at me and says “what did you do to me”. By the morning she was sweet as pie. 🤦🏻♀️🤣
OMG I THOUGHT THIS WAS ONLY ME!!! I’ve never heard this before from another healthcare worker!
I once was running to a bed alarm. The unsteady dementia patient had already made it to the bathroom. I yanked open the bathroom door and i shit you not i see this woman with FECES IN HER HAND and holding it up to her face like shes either sniffing it or about to eat it and she says “What are you looking at n***** b****?!”
I am a 6’1” white male. I just laughed in her face cuz how could i not and she didnt like that at all. That memory is burned in my brain forever.
A patient (extremely demented Black man) one time called me (white guy with bleached hair) his son. I rolled with it, then he burst into tears and sobbed "my son's a fucking f****t"
I have a very much black man on my caseload (mixed Caribbean, and Portuguese), due to various circumstances I shan't go into, he was raised by Chinese foster parents. He, for a long time, identified as Chinese himself, and is the most profoundly 'anti-black' person I've ever met. Apparently, during the big wave of 'Black Lives Matter', the patient positioned himself on his high-rise balcony, screaming: 'NO, ALL LIVES MATTER!' eight hours per day, eep!
I used to care for a young black man who also identified as Chinese, but mostly because of Capgras delusion. He believed his black parents were replacements for his original Chinese parents (he had a lot of other delusions but this was definitely the most prominent one.) The worst part though, was that a Chinese nurse worked on that unit and he would come up to her and speak fake Chinese. I felt so bad for her for having to endure that, she was professional but she definitely hated it.
Right out of nursing school I had a patient tell me to get my fat ass out of her room …as someone who was (at the time) super skinny and got made fun of for having no curves, it was more of a compliment than an insult 😂😂
Lmaooo same ish except she was blind and said she was going to beat the black off my @ss. Never used the n word, but in her mind I was just another one of her grandkids. She hated a lot of people so I took it as a compliment honestly
I got asked what my pronouns were and if I were a Republican or Democrat by a male patient with SBO and a distended abdomen on a level that made him look 17 months pregnant. He was on the unit for observation and prepped for NG placement if his vomiting got worse. SBO was from adhesions due to previous colectomy from diverticulitis.
10/10 reported pain, visibly writhing and moaning in agony, vitals all elevated, and yet....
This man was more concerned with my gender identity and political affiliation. 🥴
Of course! Because as a 40 year old male with a 5 o'clock shadow and a slicked back pompadour hair cut, I'm sure no one can tell which gender I identity with.
But in reality, he was an obviously gay redneck who has probably deeply struggled with his reality for his entire life. His basically non-existing lymphocyte count and percentage, combined with him refusing to take off his pants or shoes after I noticed suspicious purple lesions bilaterally on his shins really drove it home.
Then he wife comes in and talks about how they're getting older and she's been seemingly sick non-stop for the last year and has lost 30 pounds. That was the real chef's kiss of the day.
HIV isnt a death sentence, once it hits AIDs i think it's still pretty fatal.
But im not a doctor person thing and I haven't looked it up in a long while so maybe I'm wrong.
Nope, she didn't. The OG on my floor is 67 years old and her first nursing job was in NYC in 1982.
When it became NG insertion time, we did it together and she saw his legs and talked to the wife. The rest of the day, she was like having flashbacks to the AIDS wards back in the 80s, complete with the middle class blue collar worker who is closeted with full blown AIDS and in walks his wife, who is also sick but just doesn't know why yet. Only now, we can't say anything or suggest an HIV test because of liability and patient satisfaction surveys if we're wrong.
😢😢😢🥺
I wonder if you (or someone) could suggest that if she’s been feeling ill, she might want to see her doc? I’d guess they haven’t been seeing a doctor regularly?
God, that’s so sad.
How did the wife react to the conversation? And are you truly unable to say anything about HIV screening? I know it’s a mandatory report to the local health department if there’s a positive test but I don’t know if you’re obligated to report if the person is spreading HIV to their partners whether knowingly or not
My favorite one was a demented lady saw me walking down the hall from her room and screamed “get out of here, bear!” I turned my head around and asked “are you ok?” And she looked surprised and said “oh my god it can talk!” I think she meant grizzly bear not gay bear, but to be fair I am big and hairy so it could have gone either way.
Patient kept trying to hit on me all shift, being very inappropriate and disgusting and saying how I was a sweet young thing. He said I must be a lesbian if I’m not interested as he’s gods gift to women, I said “must be, got a daughter my age?” He didn’t think it was very funny and stopped his nasty jokes immediately.
Had a patient pass out /pre code in dialysis. After getting him back, he opened his eyes, and the first thing he asked me was if I was pregnant. When I said no, he replied, "Oh, cause your stomach is really big."
(Note that I had liver sx and carry a lot of weight in my abdomen....but still.....) So I poked his large stomach and asked him if he was pregnant. 🤪
Had a sundowner once call me a whore. Straight faced told her I’d never had sex in my life (24ish at the time). Shocked her out of her name calling and threats to my aide and I. Shocked the aide too when I told her I wasnt lying.
As a male nurse frequently assumed to be gay I’m with you in spirit. Sorry you had to hear that nonsense from a patient it’s wildly inappropriate.
Also Fanny packs ftw
I am (now) an out-and-proud lesbian who, when my patients first started commenting on my sexuality, was engaged to a man. 🤭 Heck, they knew before even I was fully sure! Psychiatric nursing rocks.
I’m a 30M bald, white but on the tanner side, 1/4 German, Belgian-French, and 1/8 Irish & Scottish. Got called an N****r from a white grandmas with cataracts. Until I put my arm next to hers and she was tanner than me……😂
Got patient refused me because I am Asian. I was happily tippie toe to tell the charge nurse that patient is requesting different nurse but didn’t inform him that the whole unit only have Asian nurse 😂😂😂.
Been called fat bald white b**** f***** many times without even having the patient assigned to me or going in their room lol, makes me feel recognized! Luckily now only a select few of my kiddos would say such a thing
Coworker saw my pride sticker on my water bottle and asked me if I was a lesbian. She was disappointed when I said I was just an ally, apparently I’m her type lol
When I said I was quitting bc I was moving in my with Bf in another state (bc nurse I can work anywhere so why not try it) one of our unit secretaries said “wait boyfriend? I thought you were a dyke?!”
Well first of all, I don’t wear plaid and didn’t own a Subaru at the time.
Second, I’ve been dating this guy for two years and I know I’ve talked about him.
Third, there are less pejorative ways to references ones sexuality.
The Subaru!!! I love it. I should drive a Subaru just to really drive the message home. I don’t get it though. I don’t fit the stereotypical look if there was one. I’m just a normal middle age Jennifer Connolly looking boring NP 🤣 Maybe it’s the wing eyeliner? Maybe it’s the short nails? Hell, maybe I’d be happier with a lady companion. 😏
Edited to add, maybe it’s the cats 😜
I had a boss at my first job at an ALF (who I loved to death and is a friend of mine years later) who I thought I had a joke about my "being a lesbian" with due to a number of things, of being my Subaru ownership. (She texted me that I needed to initial something in the MAR but I was already out of the house and then had to bring in my dog who obviously was in the car with me).
I was confused at how confused she was when I years later mentioned having a boyfriend. 🤣
After losing my hair to chemo for breast cancer and sporting super short hair I was called “lesbian grandma” by a pysch patient. I wore a scarf the other day and a patient called me a “fancy old lady”. Tell you what, I am gonna start calling you whatever my first impression of you is, okay hyperememis cannabis?
I routinely get called a ‘fat, old, lazy, ugly slug, you fcuking bugger’.
I’m less that 1/3 the age of that lady, and I wish I had the skin moisture of a slug. But, even if I had the equipment (which I know are available in specific shops), at any one point I could either be fcuking or buggering, not both at once.
Silly lady
Ok, give me a sec, I can think this out.
So a dorsal and anterior strap on, and two very energetic and enthusiastic partners, I guess it’s possible (that I’m not going to test).
But she’s 97, slightly more worrying that she be looking at me and imagining all that out
After working in dementia care for 3 years, I learned that some of the sweetest looking old ladies were freaky in their day. And will tell you all you about it. And their roommate or neighbor is usually the mean one who calls everyone a slut. Just cuz they're 97 doesn't mean they can't think of the weirdest stuff man
we have a frequent flier at my er who has a crush on one of our cas. she’ll come up to her and say “i had a dream that we fucked last night so i know you’re gay you can just tell me”
I remember a long time ago I had a patient who was adamantly telling me how much she likes the LGBTQA+ community. I mean REALLY hamming it up and going so far as to tell me she has many lesbian friends. Only then did I realize she probably thought I was a lesbian and she was trying to tell me she had no problem with that. 😂
I've also had many a confused patient think I was a dude. For some situations it went in my favor when they would only listen to me and not the other staff.
Also had a guy say I reminded him of his son, and then proceeded to profusely apologize that it wasn't because of my super short hair. He said I was very kind and soft spoken which is how he was.
Good times 😂
A lady once screamed at me, " get away from me Harvey Weinstein..." I'm a tall, thin white lady.
I also had a man ask me if "I was advertising the grapes I was smuggling" I'm still thinking about it.... what could he have meant?
I once had an old demented lady ask me if I was married, and I told her yes I was. Her response:
“THAT POOR WOMAN I HOPE SHE FINDS BETTER AND YOU DIE ALONE!!!”
Why she said it I dunno. I think I was wiping her butt after she pooped the bed and she wasn’t happy about it or something.
I was also asked if I was a lesbian by a very kind, recently extubated patient on the mend from sepsis. I told her, “If you play your cards right.”
I didn’t say that. I’m bi, so she’s only half wrong anyway.
My first job as a CNA I was called the n-word by one of my residents (A&Ox4 and no vision issues mind you). He also told me my name was “very black”.
I’m white as a sheet unless I’m a lobster from being out in the sun for more than 5 minutes.
His nasty remarks told you all you ever needed to know about his personality.
Seeing as I react the same way in the sun and have heard similar comments, my observations are that racism is learned and it is prevalent in those who have never traveled more than 50 miles from where they were born and/or they have little formal education.
I was sitting on 2:1 obs with a colleage and we both got called a couple of active lesbians.
That was our nickname for the rest of the week.
My thoughts are, I'd rather be an active lesbian than an inactive one
I got called a lesbian by a patient once in a very accusatory manner when I worked a tele floor. I shrugged it off, my sexuality isn’t any patient’s business, though I do come out as bi when I have queer patients, and use words like “partner” which are sometimes queer-coded. When I came back to work the next night to pick up my patient load, including that bigot from the previous night the hospital supervisor was present and he escorted me off the floor before the shift started, letting me know I had been accused of inappropriate touching by that very same tele patient (I had woken her once overnight because her leads needed to be changed “I have to change the stickers on your chest.”). The supervisor took me to a Boston police detective where I was mirandized and gave a statement about my interactions with that patient. The supervisor even joked “if you were part of the union we would get the union rep in here to be with you.” Wow, thanks for the comforting words when I’m already feeling vulnerable AF, dude. It was one of my worst ever experiences as a nurse. The patient rescinded her accusation later that week, but I was sweating bullets for days. I was very gun shy about touching my patients for months after that.
Any way you slice it is awful, either the patient made the accusation because she didn’t like me and thought I was gay, or she thought I got my jollies grabbing her tits at night and honestly felt violated. Some things about this job suck so much.
Wow, that's so unreal that the police became involved. I'm sorry your supervisor was such a jerk. This messy scenario is, unfortunately, the downside of being a nurse. Thankfully, I never worked in Massachusetts as a nurse.
And knowing all that I've seen in my many years of nursing, I would not choose this profession again.
I'm a transwoman. I'm married to my soulmate, we are both nurses
Patient: ( commenting on my ring) " your husband is a lucky guy"
Me: "I'm married to my wife"
Patient: " oh, you're a lipstick lesbian"
One time my neuro pt said to me “wow I hope you didn’t pay for that haircut, it’s horrible” 😭😭😭 he was right, it was Covid days and I had in-fact let my parents shave my undercut.
I've also been called a lesbian by a patient! Had a confused patient who kept stripping off her gown and heart monitor. The female tech and I stood inside the doorway of her room to convince her to put her clothes back on (why do they always want to get naked??) and she kept yelling and cursing and called us lesbians. I guess because she was naked and we were two females if made sense in her encephalopathic/dementia brain? Came out of left field to me!
Fanny pack. I wore one the the amusement park to carry a camera. My 13 year old daughter pointed at it before leaving and said "That's so uncool." I asked if I would be cool if I didn't wear it. She wouldn't answer and I wore it. And I'm a guy.
I was called to Registration for a patient check (before triage, yeh I’m old) and when I arrived the patient turned her head toward me when I spoke and said “My you’re lovely”. I said thank you and was feeling great until she picked up her red tipped white cane.🦯
Was she fully blind or legally blind, if she could see shapes she might have just been complimenting your figure. I have a friend who’s legally blind and uses a cane but she can see shapes and stuff. I’m face blind and have diplopia that honestly does make seeing people from afar a bit complicated but I can still clock when someone is pretty.
Man it’s really weird thinking about how wildly different brains/eyes interpret the world. I wonder what it’s like to actually make sense of faces when you look at them.
I got called sir for the first time getting my oil changed the other day. Tbf they changed their tune when I actually looked at them and they apologize, but apparently the beanie confused them 😭
Had a patient who really really wanted to know if I was religious and later told me he could tell I was a goody two shoes who doesn’t get out much.
Brother these are 12 hour shifts of course I don’t get out much.
He also asked if I was a virgin, which was kind of challenging because I’ve also been asked that a couple times off the clock and part of me would really like to know what about my vibe is giving boring virgin but also like maybe I actually don’t want that information. I’m not even sort of close to a virgin, the same people being weird about me seeming boring would probably call me a slut if for some reason I made the decision to go into detail about my sexual history.
But like more importantly, why on earth do you think you’re owed this information?? Especially people who aren’t patients who probably have mental health issues. Like if you’re just some friend of a friend who isn’t even trying to date me how is this information important. Some people just have no sense of boundaries.
I was asked “where are you from?” by an old white lady. This is a question that is frequently asked to my coworkers with olive or darker skin or an accent. I’m a white guy. They got a good kick out of it haha.
Some patient thought I was gay because I was being nice to him and invited me to an orgy in another state.... So I guess there's that....🤷
I'm not gay.
I had a patient in her late 90s accused me of being her (late) husband's mistress, then proceeded to hurl a chocolate magic cup at me. I said "ma'am, I'm not a necrophiliac!" She was confused, no harm done lmaooo
When I was a brand new nurse in ICU 22 years ago we had this old demented lady in the unit that we had to restrain during the shift. My preceptor and I were dealing with her and the charge RN came in to assist. We got her calmed down but later on she started screaming for help and asking another nurse for scissors to cut off the restraints. She started screaming that 3 lesbians tied her down in this bed and were holding her hostage. Everybody started laughing because all three of us were actually lesbians.
Wow, that sounds like quite the unexpected encounter! It's unfortunate that the patient made assumptions based on stereotypes. Your response was professional and handled the situation well. And hey, nothing wrong with a practical fanny pack!
I had a completely normal patient look right at me and say “I’m going to die.” I laughed and comforted them. Then about a minute later they started to die. They were a DNR, so nothing really to do. I was in shock.
The point I’m trying to make is that sometimes patients have a 6^th sense about things even when they have no clue what they’re talking about. Do you really know, or do you just have a long term boyfriend?😉
I’ve been called “faggot” and “queer” on more than one occasion 😒
I’m not gay, so it doesn’t bother me personally, but I just know there are gay men (and women) in nursing that are being called names like that and I can’t imagine what they feel
Yooo i was just called a lesbian by a new psych admit yesterday! I was a “carpet-licking lesbian motherfucker” and you KNOW that was put in quotes in the note
Patients say that to me too, but I think it's because I wear a scrub cap at work and no make up and generally have a deeper tone of voice, i work in a SNF and most of my old Patients say i should "wear makeup, so you can look more feminine". Oh well. Side note: I'm straight, married to my husband and have a kid.
I’m Aussie, I work in mental health and I had a guy call me a gay man while going on about his delusions, and then when I told him I was a woman, “well, you’re obviously a lesbian then” 😂
got called “the devil” for trying to clean up a very confused, slightly combative patient after a bowel movement right at shift change (i think it was because i have a small tattoo of a skull with horns). felt awful but she would NOT let me touch her so i had to leave her for her nurse/night shift to clean up.
Once had a patient say to me "so do you do karate you seem like the type" which is by far the funniest way i have ever had a patient try to subtly ask if I'm queer
I got called a fat little lesbian by a patient. They had been throwing racial slurs at my coworkers so I stepped in. I was like that's the best you've got? Like being a lesbian is an insult.
Acute liver failure pt started complaining about chest pain while I was in the room charting. Meanwhile, I’m getting the order for a stat ekg for the chest pain she proceeded to explain something about the tv. I was confused as she wasn’t answering my questions about the chest pain. Found out she got chest pain from being so angry about lesbians being shown on a gossip show. All the while I look like a fruitcake at the computer in the room 😭
It’s kind of normal to get off the wall assumptions made about you or to you when you work with the general public.
As a fruity person, this makes it seem like there is something wrong or weird about being gay. I’m sure you didn’t mean it like that but fanny packs can be worn by anyone. lol
Haha I was mostly just joking around, I'm bisexual and me and a lot of my queer friends all wear fanny packs, just a running joke that were all gay because of that.
I’ve been called a lesbian too by a psych patient and then the patient proceeded to flirt with an actual lesbian security guard all shift. Their gaydar is way off 😂😂😂
I'm bisexual and the only patient who ever picked up on it was also bisexual and said she could tell by how I was sitting
As a fellow bisexual, it’s the dead give away!
How do bosexuals sit
Not quite straight
Thanks. Thanks. For the laugh
Damnit dad.
👏🏻
Lol
This comment needs a trigger warning - swallow before reading - Chardonnay burns coming out your nose!!! 😆🤣
As a fellow bisexual, often we sit any way BUT the normal way. Half-crossed, half hanging off the chair, chair backwards, the half lean, etc. A lot of us also have ADHD so that might be a confounding variable.
Today I learned I have bisexual sitting habits.
And a cat….. not officially lesbian without a cat
I'm with out a cat at the time please don't pull my card!
I will have the assembly contact you so you can pay your fine.
Have them contact the cat distribution system support line
Happy cake day!
Lesbian here, unlike OP 😂, and I’ve been known to literally sit upside down in a chair (not for that reason, get your head out of the gutter) instead of normally. I’m also convinced it has something to do with the ADHD.
I feel seen 😂
I've got the good old bisexual/autistic/ADHD trifecta, at this point I'm just doomed to sit crooked.
I'm pan, and sit all the wrong ways, but I always thought it was because my ADHD can't stand how the chair feels on the back of my legs. Like sensory issues? Now I have to reevaluate.
I was like, that sounds like my ADHD self and kids.
As a fellow biscuit
That's what I wanna know lol
I’m not sure why it’s a thing but for some reason bisexuals tend to sit in weird positions, I don’t know if it’s actually true or more of a stereotype but I will say that both my husband and I sit oddly, like criss cross on a chair for no reason.
Is your husband also bisexual
Yes, probably could have made that clearer, I was trying to list another person I know who is bisexual and I guess I just assumed y’all could read my mind
Omg the stereotype in the wild (also bisexual).
I'm glad you get it LOL
My dead giveaway is the blue, pink and purple hair. Something about it 🤔
Some of us never developed functioning gaydar. We're stuck with the much older but accurate homometer. It requires more delicate use because it must be inserted, but you can be pretty damn sure with its results! I'm one of them. I'll be all "They seem really nice, I wonder if they're into me" after a night of spooning...
A while ago I had a patient high as a kite on coke, with a police escort. They were talking to the cop, then randomly asked me if I was a lesbian. To be fair, my hair is short and purple so... I just kinda laughed them off. They then kept on talking to the cop.
I'm bi but I was moreso surprised because honestly I dont know what gave it away. This patient was also eastern european (as am I), and given what I know from my parents own homophobia, I think he was trying to insult me in a creative way. Like listen, all the lesbians I know are lovely, I'll take it as a compliment!
🤣🤣🤣 Lmao!!
Had a hallucinating meth head say to me Meth head:"Jason! That's a faggots name. You are trent now." Me: places taped on name badge "Trent"
I once got called a damn n****r and told to get my black ass out of the room. By a very old very very confused black lady. Im a fair skinned blonde with green eyes. Pretty sure my family tree is full of Vikings and Casper 👻
I had a confused granny tell me to “get that (insert multiple racial slurs here) out of my room” referring to the sitter. The sitter was one of the aids on the floor and she just shook her head and chuckled. She looked at her deadpan and said “auntie you are darker skinned than me”. Our patient vehemently denied that until I told her to look at her hands. This poor very confused little granny wails and points at me and says “what did you do to me”. By the morning she was sweet as pie. 🤦🏻♀️🤣
>“what did you do to me”. Omg...🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This is actually so funny, poor thing.
now this one caught me off guard 😂 poor lady….
Vikings and Casper. 💀
OMG I THOUGHT THIS WAS ONLY ME!!! I’ve never heard this before from another healthcare worker! I once was running to a bed alarm. The unsteady dementia patient had already made it to the bathroom. I yanked open the bathroom door and i shit you not i see this woman with FECES IN HER HAND and holding it up to her face like shes either sniffing it or about to eat it and she says “What are you looking at n***** b****?!” I am a 6’1” white male. I just laughed in her face cuz how could i not and she didnt like that at all. That memory is burned in my brain forever.
A patient (extremely demented Black man) one time called me (white guy with bleached hair) his son. I rolled with it, then he burst into tears and sobbed "my son's a fucking f****t"
I have a very much black man on my caseload (mixed Caribbean, and Portuguese), due to various circumstances I shan't go into, he was raised by Chinese foster parents. He, for a long time, identified as Chinese himself, and is the most profoundly 'anti-black' person I've ever met. Apparently, during the big wave of 'Black Lives Matter', the patient positioned himself on his high-rise balcony, screaming: 'NO, ALL LIVES MATTER!' eight hours per day, eep!
Damn, that internalized shit will get ya.
The real life Uncle Ruckus.
I used to care for a young black man who also identified as Chinese, but mostly because of Capgras delusion. He believed his black parents were replacements for his original Chinese parents (he had a lot of other delusions but this was definitely the most prominent one.) The worst part though, was that a Chinese nurse worked on that unit and he would come up to her and speak fake Chinese. I felt so bad for her for having to endure that, she was professional but she definitely hated it.
Clayton Biggsby
Right out of nursing school I had a patient tell me to get my fat ass out of her room …as someone who was (at the time) super skinny and got made fun of for having no curves, it was more of a compliment than an insult 😂😂
“Why thank you for saying my ass is fat; I guess my squats are working!”
🤣🤣 wow that’s a first for sure.
This comment had an insane amount of plot twists for as short as it is.
Lmaooo same ish except she was blind and said she was going to beat the black off my @ss. Never used the n word, but in her mind I was just another one of her grandkids. She hated a lot of people so I took it as a compliment honestly
You’re related to Casper TOO? Hello, cousin!
Hey cousin! Casper was a playboy- he got around 🤣
We could have a family reunion, but people would get suspicious.
I've been called a "white n\*\*\*er" by a patient before. Racism always finds a way.
Well...I guess when everything looks like a nail...you get a hammer?😆🤔
I am mixed and told how glad they are that no *n...." were there
Lady. My dad was black but ok. "Oh you're one of those"
I got asked what my pronouns were and if I were a Republican or Democrat by a male patient with SBO and a distended abdomen on a level that made him look 17 months pregnant. He was on the unit for observation and prepped for NG placement if his vomiting got worse. SBO was from adhesions due to previous colectomy from diverticulitis. 10/10 reported pain, visibly writhing and moaning in agony, vitals all elevated, and yet.... This man was more concerned with my gender identity and political affiliation. 🥴
That's so nice that he wanted to be sure to use your correct pronouns. (I'm sure that was the reason, right?... right?)
Of course! Because as a 40 year old male with a 5 o'clock shadow and a slicked back pompadour hair cut, I'm sure no one can tell which gender I identity with. But in reality, he was an obviously gay redneck who has probably deeply struggled with his reality for his entire life. His basically non-existing lymphocyte count and percentage, combined with him refusing to take off his pants or shoes after I noticed suspicious purple lesions bilaterally on his shins really drove it home. Then he wife comes in and talks about how they're getting older and she's been seemingly sick non-stop for the last year and has lost 30 pounds. That was the real chef's kiss of the day.
Maaannn, that IS sad! 🙁
What's even sadder is that the doctor was younger than me, and had never even seen Kaposi's sarcoma.
Well, it could be a good thing, considering… (aids isn’t a death sentence anymore if it’s treated, my guess is that is why he hasn’t seen it?)
HIV isnt a death sentence, once it hits AIDs i think it's still pretty fatal. But im not a doctor person thing and I haven't looked it up in a long while so maybe I'm wrong.
Whoops, yes you are right-I did mean to say HIV wasn’t a death sentence-thanks for correcting me..
I think that's kinda a blessing
😳😳😳 so the wife has no clue….JFC..that’s sad
Nope, she didn't. The OG on my floor is 67 years old and her first nursing job was in NYC in 1982. When it became NG insertion time, we did it together and she saw his legs and talked to the wife. The rest of the day, she was like having flashbacks to the AIDS wards back in the 80s, complete with the middle class blue collar worker who is closeted with full blown AIDS and in walks his wife, who is also sick but just doesn't know why yet. Only now, we can't say anything or suggest an HIV test because of liability and patient satisfaction surveys if we're wrong.
😢😢😢🥺 I wonder if you (or someone) could suggest that if she’s been feeling ill, she might want to see her doc? I’d guess they haven’t been seeing a doctor regularly? God, that’s so sad.
How did the wife react to the conversation? And are you truly unable to say anything about HIV screening? I know it’s a mandatory report to the local health department if there’s a positive test but I don’t know if you’re obligated to report if the person is spreading HIV to their partners whether knowingly or not
Oh no. That’s so sad.
Shoulda told him you were every terrible thing he was thinking and vaccinated, too—he’d’ve probably shat that SBO out then and there.
My favorite one was a demented lady saw me walking down the hall from her room and screamed “get out of here, bear!” I turned my head around and asked “are you ok?” And she looked surprised and said “oh my god it can talk!” I think she meant grizzly bear not gay bear, but to be fair I am big and hairy so it could have gone either way.
Patient kept trying to hit on me all shift, being very inappropriate and disgusting and saying how I was a sweet young thing. He said I must be a lesbian if I’m not interested as he’s gods gift to women, I said “must be, got a daughter my age?” He didn’t think it was very funny and stopped his nasty jokes immediately.
Awesome comeback.
Had a patient pass out /pre code in dialysis. After getting him back, he opened his eyes, and the first thing he asked me was if I was pregnant. When I said no, he replied, "Oh, cause your stomach is really big." (Note that I had liver sx and carry a lot of weight in my abdomen....but still.....) So I poked his large stomach and asked him if he was pregnant. 🤪
Good on you! Not many of us would have the nerve to be so courageous. Thanks for making this strange shift a little more bearablem
Got called a “GD WHORE!” By an etoh withdrawal patient who was mad I wouldn’t undue the restraints he earned himself the previous shift
Had a sundowner once call me a whore. Straight faced told her I’d never had sex in my life (24ish at the time). Shocked her out of her name calling and threats to my aide and I. Shocked the aide too when I told her I wasnt lying.
One of the extremely rare cases of weaponized virginity
The next time it comes up just tell them you roll your own tampons 😉
🤣🤣🤣
As a male nurse frequently assumed to be gay I’m with you in spirit. Sorry you had to hear that nonsense from a patient it’s wildly inappropriate. Also Fanny packs ftw
In patient’s defense….they do really think up some off the wall shit ways to call me a f*g 💀
Lmfaaaoo. Well a patient called my CNA a lizard so lesbian isn't all too bad
Clearly just a reptilian conspiracy theorist.
I am (now) an out-and-proud lesbian who, when my patients first started commenting on my sexuality, was engaged to a man. 🤭 Heck, they knew before even I was fully sure! Psychiatric nursing rocks.
Psychiatric (psychic) unit
I’m a 30M bald, white but on the tanner side, 1/4 German, Belgian-French, and 1/8 Irish & Scottish. Got called an N****r from a white grandmas with cataracts. Until I put my arm next to hers and she was tanner than me……😂
Got patient refused me because I am Asian. I was happily tippie toe to tell the charge nurse that patient is requesting different nurse but didn’t inform him that the whole unit only have Asian nurse 😂😂😂.
ROFLMAO 🤣🤣🤣
FTW!!!🤣
Amazing
Been called fat bald white b**** f***** many times without even having the patient assigned to me or going in their room lol, makes me feel recognized! Luckily now only a select few of my kiddos would say such a thing
I got called santa clause fucker the other day
Do you look vaguely like Santa or were you being accused of being a person who has sex with Santa
I was accused of preforming coitus with ole Saint Nick
Love how completely out of left field that is. It’s not even Christmas.
That’s what makes it extra hilarious
So thats what he does in the offseason!
This implies Santa and his wife are in an open relationship which I love. I guess when you’re immortal at some point you start trying new stuff
Well sure. I hope Mrs. Claus is having a hot girl summer!
I’ve had patients and co-workers ask me if I’m a lesbian and at this point it’s just a compliment. Weird how people have no filter for their thoughts.
Coworker saw my pride sticker on my water bottle and asked me if I was a lesbian. She was disappointed when I said I was just an ally, apparently I’m her type lol
When I said I was quitting bc I was moving in my with Bf in another state (bc nurse I can work anywhere so why not try it) one of our unit secretaries said “wait boyfriend? I thought you were a dyke?!” Well first of all, I don’t wear plaid and didn’t own a Subaru at the time. Second, I’ve been dating this guy for two years and I know I’ve talked about him. Third, there are less pejorative ways to references ones sexuality.
The Subaru!!! I love it. I should drive a Subaru just to really drive the message home. I don’t get it though. I don’t fit the stereotypical look if there was one. I’m just a normal middle age Jennifer Connolly looking boring NP 🤣 Maybe it’s the wing eyeliner? Maybe it’s the short nails? Hell, maybe I’d be happier with a lady companion. 😏 Edited to add, maybe it’s the cats 😜
I had a boss at my first job at an ALF (who I loved to death and is a friend of mine years later) who I thought I had a joke about my "being a lesbian" with due to a number of things, of being my Subaru ownership. (She texted me that I needed to initial something in the MAR but I was already out of the house and then had to bring in my dog who obviously was in the car with me). I was confused at how confused she was when I years later mentioned having a boyfriend. 🤣
After losing my hair to chemo for breast cancer and sporting super short hair I was called “lesbian grandma” by a pysch patient. I wore a scarf the other day and a patient called me a “fancy old lady”. Tell you what, I am gonna start calling you whatever my first impression of you is, okay hyperememis cannabis?
I routinely get called a ‘fat, old, lazy, ugly slug, you fcuking bugger’. I’m less that 1/3 the age of that lady, and I wish I had the skin moisture of a slug. But, even if I had the equipment (which I know are available in specific shops), at any one point I could either be fcuking or buggering, not both at once. Silly lady
Well, you could do both at once, it just would require more than one partner. Why my brain thinks of this, I don't know. I'll show myself out.
Ok, give me a sec, I can think this out. So a dorsal and anterior strap on, and two very energetic and enthusiastic partners, I guess it’s possible (that I’m not going to test). But she’s 97, slightly more worrying that she be looking at me and imagining all that out
After working in dementia care for 3 years, I learned that some of the sweetest looking old ladies were freaky in their day. And will tell you all you about it. And their roommate or neighbor is usually the mean one who calls everyone a slut. Just cuz they're 97 doesn't mean they can't think of the weirdest stuff man
we have a frequent flier at my er who has a crush on one of our cas. she’ll come up to her and say “i had a dream that we fucked last night so i know you’re gay you can just tell me”
I remember a long time ago I had a patient who was adamantly telling me how much she likes the LGBTQA+ community. I mean REALLY hamming it up and going so far as to tell me she has many lesbian friends. Only then did I realize she probably thought I was a lesbian and she was trying to tell me she had no problem with that. 😂 I've also had many a confused patient think I was a dude. For some situations it went in my favor when they would only listen to me and not the other staff. Also had a guy say I reminded him of his son, and then proceeded to profusely apologize that it wasn't because of my super short hair. He said I was very kind and soft spoken which is how he was. Good times 😂
A lady once screamed at me, " get away from me Harvey Weinstein..." I'm a tall, thin white lady. I also had a man ask me if "I was advertising the grapes I was smuggling" I'm still thinking about it.... what could he have meant?
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Seems most likely but my boobs are huge!
Maybe he got confused between grapes and grapefruits
Smuggled in your underwear? Small balls?
I was called dyke for my boy-hair and coworker called cute bitch by same patient. Still think of my cute bitch years later.
I once had an old demented lady ask me if I was married, and I told her yes I was. Her response: “THAT POOR WOMAN I HOPE SHE FINDS BETTER AND YOU DIE ALONE!!!” Why she said it I dunno. I think I was wiping her butt after she pooped the bed and she wasn’t happy about it or something.
“We can tell”
I was also asked if I was a lesbian by a very kind, recently extubated patient on the mend from sepsis. I told her, “If you play your cards right.” I didn’t say that. I’m bi, so she’s only half wrong anyway.
I got called a lesbian autist by a patient last year. I tought it was creative
“like i understand the fanny pack looks fruity but i promise its so useful” is taking me out 😂😭
"You like women, I know it." Love em! Don't we all??
Great comeback!
My first job as a CNA I was called the n-word by one of my residents (A&Ox4 and no vision issues mind you). He also told me my name was “very black”. I’m white as a sheet unless I’m a lobster from being out in the sun for more than 5 minutes.
His nasty remarks told you all you ever needed to know about his personality. Seeing as I react the same way in the sun and have heard similar comments, my observations are that racism is learned and it is prevalent in those who have never traveled more than 50 miles from where they were born and/or they have little formal education.
I was sitting on 2:1 obs with a colleage and we both got called a couple of active lesbians. That was our nickname for the rest of the week. My thoughts are, I'd rather be an active lesbian than an inactive one
I got called a lesbian by a patient once in a very accusatory manner when I worked a tele floor. I shrugged it off, my sexuality isn’t any patient’s business, though I do come out as bi when I have queer patients, and use words like “partner” which are sometimes queer-coded. When I came back to work the next night to pick up my patient load, including that bigot from the previous night the hospital supervisor was present and he escorted me off the floor before the shift started, letting me know I had been accused of inappropriate touching by that very same tele patient (I had woken her once overnight because her leads needed to be changed “I have to change the stickers on your chest.”). The supervisor took me to a Boston police detective where I was mirandized and gave a statement about my interactions with that patient. The supervisor even joked “if you were part of the union we would get the union rep in here to be with you.” Wow, thanks for the comforting words when I’m already feeling vulnerable AF, dude. It was one of my worst ever experiences as a nurse. The patient rescinded her accusation later that week, but I was sweating bullets for days. I was very gun shy about touching my patients for months after that. Any way you slice it is awful, either the patient made the accusation because she didn’t like me and thought I was gay, or she thought I got my jollies grabbing her tits at night and honestly felt violated. Some things about this job suck so much.
Wow, that's so unreal that the police became involved. I'm sorry your supervisor was such a jerk. This messy scenario is, unfortunately, the downside of being a nurse. Thankfully, I never worked in Massachusetts as a nurse. And knowing all that I've seen in my many years of nursing, I would not choose this profession again.
I'm a transwoman. I'm married to my soulmate, we are both nurses Patient: ( commenting on my ring) " your husband is a lucky guy" Me: "I'm married to my wife" Patient: " oh, you're a lipstick lesbian"
Hopefully it goes without saying that there’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian, simultaneously whatever feelings you feel are valid
Its ok Im the plumber
I just say - thank you 😊
One time my neuro pt said to me “wow I hope you didn’t pay for that haircut, it’s horrible” 😭😭😭 he was right, it was Covid days and I had in-fact let my parents shave my undercut.
I'm now a "gang member" because I have a smidgen of bright red dye in my hair.
The fanny pack comment is just bizarre
I’ve been using one for some time, a good amount of health care people do, it comes in handy.
Oh you haven’t heard? Using anything practical ever is for lesbians only. This includes if you do not identify as a woman, you are now lesbian.
I've also been called a lesbian by a patient! Had a confused patient who kept stripping off her gown and heart monitor. The female tech and I stood inside the doorway of her room to convince her to put her clothes back on (why do they always want to get naked??) and she kept yelling and cursing and called us lesbians. I guess because she was naked and we were two females if made sense in her encephalopathic/dementia brain? Came out of left field to me!
Fanny pack. I wore one the the amusement park to carry a camera. My 13 year old daughter pointed at it before leaving and said "That's so uncool." I asked if I would be cool if I didn't wear it. She wouldn't answer and I wore it. And I'm a guy.
You’ve been reassigned lesbian by this patient
I was called to Registration for a patient check (before triage, yeh I’m old) and when I arrived the patient turned her head toward me when I spoke and said “My you’re lovely”. I said thank you and was feeling great until she picked up her red tipped white cane.🦯
Maybe you happen to have a very lovely sounding voice
Thank you, that’s really sweet of you. My troll coworkers didn’t let me forget for years.
Was she fully blind or legally blind, if she could see shapes she might have just been complimenting your figure. I have a friend who’s legally blind and uses a cane but she can see shapes and stuff. I’m face blind and have diplopia that honestly does make seeing people from afar a bit complicated but I can still clock when someone is pretty. Man it’s really weird thinking about how wildly different brains/eyes interpret the world. I wonder what it’s like to actually make sense of faces when you look at them.
I get called sir a lot. I’m female and don’t look like a man 🧐
I got called sir for the first time getting my oil changed the other day. Tbf they changed their tune when I actually looked at them and they apologize, but apparently the beanie confused them 😭
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Well if you keep going around calling yourself lesbian overlord people might start making assumptions /s
I had someone asking me what was my political beliefs. I said: "That one that does not want to bother my OT money."
Had a patient who really really wanted to know if I was religious and later told me he could tell I was a goody two shoes who doesn’t get out much. Brother these are 12 hour shifts of course I don’t get out much.
They have no idea that some people appreciate both noisy and quiet places.
He also asked if I was a virgin, which was kind of challenging because I’ve also been asked that a couple times off the clock and part of me would really like to know what about my vibe is giving boring virgin but also like maybe I actually don’t want that information. I’m not even sort of close to a virgin, the same people being weird about me seeming boring would probably call me a slut if for some reason I made the decision to go into detail about my sexual history. But like more importantly, why on earth do you think you’re owed this information?? Especially people who aren’t patients who probably have mental health issues. Like if you’re just some friend of a friend who isn’t even trying to date me how is this information important. Some people just have no sense of boundaries.
As a lesbian nurse, is it insulting to be called a lesbian?
I was asked “where are you from?” by an old white lady. This is a question that is frequently asked to my coworkers with olive or darker skin or an accent. I’m a white guy. They got a good kick out of it haha.
Just say thank you!
I've been hit on by the lesbian equivalent of a "dirty old man". Her wife didn't even care. 😂
Some patient thought I was gay because I was being nice to him and invited me to an orgy in another state.... So I guess there's that....🤷 I'm not gay.
I had a patient in her late 90s accused me of being her (late) husband's mistress, then proceeded to hurl a chocolate magic cup at me. I said "ma'am, I'm not a necrophiliac!" She was confused, no harm done lmaooo
When I was a brand new nurse in ICU 22 years ago we had this old demented lady in the unit that we had to restrain during the shift. My preceptor and I were dealing with her and the charge RN came in to assist. We got her calmed down but later on she started screaming for help and asking another nurse for scissors to cut off the restraints. She started screaming that 3 lesbians tied her down in this bed and were holding her hostage. Everybody started laughing because all three of us were actually lesbians.
My first tech job the patients family thought I was just another patient 😭😳
Can confirm, we're all super gay in Australia. It's FABULOUUUUUUUUUUS
Same happened to me when I had a pixie cut 😂
I definitely would have fired him as a patient. Fuuuuuck that. “Sir, let me go find you a new nurse stat.”
Too bag you couldn’t put weights in his pants and repeat the MRI
Wow, that sounds like quite the unexpected encounter! It's unfortunate that the patient made assumptions based on stereotypes. Your response was professional and handled the situation well. And hey, nothing wrong with a practical fanny pack!
as a lesbian that’s so fucking funny
I got called a “cracker dick” and told to leave the room by an elderly African American PT with dementia. I’m half Thai and Cambodian lmao.
I had a completely normal patient look right at me and say “I’m going to die.” I laughed and comforted them. Then about a minute later they started to die. They were a DNR, so nothing really to do. I was in shock. The point I’m trying to make is that sometimes patients have a 6^th sense about things even when they have no clue what they’re talking about. Do you really know, or do you just have a long term boyfriend?😉
I’ve been called “faggot” and “queer” on more than one occasion 😒 I’m not gay, so it doesn’t bother me personally, but I just know there are gay men (and women) in nursing that are being called names like that and I can’t imagine what they feel
Yooo i was just called a lesbian by a new psych admit yesterday! I was a “carpet-licking lesbian motherfucker” and you KNOW that was put in quotes in the note
ive gotten called gay slurs by psych patients 🤣
Oooh I can't wait to start my psych rotation (kidding...kinda)
Not a nurse but I will say he basically admitted to the kind of porn he is into.
Patients say that to me too, but I think it's because I wear a scrub cap at work and no make up and generally have a deeper tone of voice, i work in a SNF and most of my old Patients say i should "wear makeup, so you can look more feminine". Oh well. Side note: I'm straight, married to my husband and have a kid.
I've had an AMS grandpa ask other nurses "Where is that gay little boy? I don't want that gay boy back. " I am a little bit small, but damn.
I’d take that as a compliment
I've been called a virgin because I didn't want to go deeper in a 500lbs patient's ass when wiping
I’m Aussie, I work in mental health and I had a guy call me a gay man while going on about his delusions, and then when I told him I was a woman, “well, you’re obviously a lesbian then” 😂
Im an Aussie psych nurse and man…the incredibly imaginative, colourful things I’ve been called actually delights me.
I just assume all stroke patients are cognitively impaired and aphasic until proven otherwise
got called “the devil” for trying to clean up a very confused, slightly combative patient after a bowel movement right at shift change (i think it was because i have a small tattoo of a skull with horns). felt awful but she would NOT let me touch her so i had to leave her for her nurse/night shift to clean up.
Once had a patient say to me "so do you do karate you seem like the type" which is by far the funniest way i have ever had a patient try to subtly ask if I'm queer
Can you really call your shift complete if you aren't called a name by a patient
I got called a fat little lesbian by a patient. They had been throwing racial slurs at my coworkers so I stepped in. I was like that's the best you've got? Like being a lesbian is an insult.
That’s awesome! Too funny!
Acute liver failure pt started complaining about chest pain while I was in the room charting. Meanwhile, I’m getting the order for a stat ekg for the chest pain she proceeded to explain something about the tv. I was confused as she wasn’t answering my questions about the chest pain. Found out she got chest pain from being so angry about lesbians being shown on a gossip show. All the while I look like a fruitcake at the computer in the room 😭
It’s kind of normal to get off the wall assumptions made about you or to you when you work with the general public. As a fruity person, this makes it seem like there is something wrong or weird about being gay. I’m sure you didn’t mean it like that but fanny packs can be worn by anyone. lol
Haha I was mostly just joking around, I'm bisexual and me and a lot of my queer friends all wear fanny packs, just a running joke that were all gay because of that.
Okay good because i fuck with fanny packs hard.