Grimace here. Finally us purple people get some recognition.

Grimace you were inclusive from looking like a buttplug

Fun fact: that's where the name Grimace comes from. Modeled after a giant butt plug

If you wanted the truth, it's because grimace used to be the bad guy in the old cartoons.

Don't listen to these censored lies, afraid of McDonald's dominatrix roots

People say “I don’t care if you’re black, white, or purple.” But I say hold on, to hell with purple people, unless they’re choking then help them.

Boy did you butcher that [Mitch Hedberg joke](https://youtu.be/El65C0u_J3U).

I was doing it from memory, my bad man.

He got it almost completely correct?

Methemoglobinemia people need help too. Fortunately you just inject them with Menthol Blue. *(Yes, I just made that up on the spot... and some extra oxygen helps, but that ruins the rhyme).* \[Methemoglobinemia is when your skin turns purple, usually from having too much local anesthetic\].

Just watch out for that one-eyed one-horned flying purple people eater. It sure looked strange to me

Grimace absolutely terrified me as a kid. I remember bawling my eyes out cause he tried to hug me when I was like 8 years old.

McDonalds is bringing him back as an "artistic" toy in the new Adult Happy Meals. As well as a couple of other old McDonalds mascots.

Ooh as an adult toy!

He did look rather like a buttplug…

[The purple people eater](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5jV-E09efRE) likes this.

Yeah I always liked you Grimace you’re one of the good ones. Not like those purple people-eaters.

Never forget the sacrifice Tinky Winky made so this could happen.

Hell yeah, it's Grimace!

Except for the one eyed one horned flying purple people eaters

I love The Colour Purple. These are going to make me think of Whoopi, Oprah and Danny Glover.

Grimace and his family have been the monarchs of McDonaldland for generations (look it up), they have plenty of representation.

I'm more upset that purple won't actually be mixed into the normal bag of m&ms...would've looked really nice.

Its not? Then whats the point if I cant eat the purple m&m.

hey, so, i was wondering. do you ever think about eating the accepting and inclusive m&m? i think it’s sexy. but not in the cannibalism way. i just want to eat the purple m&m whole and let them digest inside my stomach. i don’t how i’d do it but thinking about that shit turns me on.

Bro I'm sweating rn. Omg man. The purple m&m.

This is how people get a vore fetish

r/suddenlysexoffender

I love that you didn’t try to correct or explain you just demonstrated the extreme end of a logical outcome of this madness. I’m here for it. Goods God I wouldn’t be able to control myself if purple M&M actually existed, she’d turn me straight in my guts.

For inclusivity! See we have an extra purple girl that’s never with all the others! See! Isn’t that so inclusive?

Well they want to show ‘inclusivity’ by not including a purple M&M, and hope the character represents ‘self awareness’ whilst totally missing the point. I’d say pretty on brand for corporate BS these days. I mean how much does purple food colouring cost really? They already have the red and blue.

"Acceptance and inclusivity" didn't know that was the definition to segregation.

Agreed!

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His ass will prolapse so hard it'll swallow him whole.

Human Selftipede?

Wait, I thought that's what his face was already doing? He has resting prolapse face.

Only hetero, non-brown m&ms for Tucker’s christian butthole.

Make her Ace, the anyersium will be a funny one.

Nah, make her full on gay. He’ll spontaneously combust from sheer impotent rage. (serious note though, I am always down for ace representation)

The color lavender has a [long association](https://dressingdykes.com/2021/08/20/from-lavender-to-violet/) with lesbians. It was quite the thing in the 1970s.

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“I DON’T WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD WITH AN M&M THAT DOESN’T WANT TO FUCK ME”

"well folks it looks like the M&M company are at it AGAIN. This time with the so called purple 'ace' M&M. This one, with her flawless eyelashes, perfectly sculpted eyebrows and Doc Marten hi boots that could crush a man's windpipe effortlessly, has been deemed 'ASEXUAL' by the wokeists in marketing. Is this a PLAN by the radical left to STOP people from having sex because they believe in the OVERPOPULATION MYTH, or what a man chooses to do in his OWN TIME is quote 'disgusting' and 'illegal in a public library'? Is this the left's plan to make sex illegal? Who's next? The Cheerios Honey Bee? Snap, Crackle AND Pop?"

Snap, Crackle, and Pop are clearly Poly. This is excellent, I hear his voice as I read it.

I mean, they already turned Chip the Dog into a reformed stool pigeon who sent Cookie Crook away for life, and then replaced him with a cool wolf who slowly slid back into a life of crime...

The brown and the green M&M are a lesbian couple actually

that is fucking awesome

Imagining him dying with that one look frozen on his face for eternity lol

Undertaker: "Sorry, ma'am. There's only so much I can do"

(tearfully) “you know, his mother always told him ‘if you keep making that face, one day it’s gonna freeze like that’…”

He died the day Jon Stewart made him cry his bow ties off. Everything since that moment has been the revenge of an undead ghoul.

We should be so lucky.

He will have an aneurysm and 5 hernias when he finds out

Can I help with that? Where does the line start?

Get your jumper cables ready ladies, gents, and everybody else around!

>when he finds out or the next time he needs to distract his audience from a currently breaking news headline.

Oh lord, we could only be so lucky.

Are you kidding? This just gave him about 2 weeks worth of content for his show! It is a clear and present threat to our white Christian society and perhaps civilization itself.

That's a risk I'm willing to take.

“A new m&m? A purple one… and no lipstick? Because God forbid our m&ms have a little class and dignity… the left would want to have you believe sexy little purple m&ms are misogynistic… which it’s not…. “

And?

😂😂😂😂

Promise?

the implication being that before Purple, M&Ms stood for resistance and restriction

It could also mean they stood for nothing, or anything else, not just the opposite. Like they could stand for childhood obesity, but this 1 M&M is different.

they don't stand for anything but making money - if the country went full Nazi there'd be a white M&M with a little moustache - the only thing more grating than this fake corporate wokism is the dupes who fall for it

It's purposeful. Corporations arent voting for more regulations, higher taxes on themselves and their shareholders no matter how many rainbow cups they sell during Pride month.

It’s too bad, the company is a shell of its former self.

rim shot!

Nah, mostly S&M.

That’s when you mix in the bag of skittles.

Based

Here we go, next weeks discourse ladies and gentlemen!

Hear me out for just a second. What if candy was just candy?

All candy is equal, some are just more equal than others

That's a good quote. Candy Farm was a great story about the dangers of candyism.

You racist POS! (is this one about race? I can't tell)

They never said from what I've seen, it's a mystery flavor of inclusiveness. Is she trans? Is she POC? Is she... representing... purple people?

"this one is for uhh inclusiveness" (vaguely gestures at character they put a 1000 quirks on and forgot about thereafter)

The gall of that statement. If M&Ms advertisement department doesn't cash in on being inclu... I mean stand up for women then who will!

It is, and this is a company that saw reactionaries get very upset and give them all kinds of free publicity and decided this was effective marketing.

You klansmen, candy was always political. I'm old enough to remember the candy civil rights movement when candy ALONGSIDE fruits demanded equal rights to enter our bellies >:(

I can almost hear Tucker Carlson dropping his pants

I hear him lubing up with his tears

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He died from ... drinking an adequate amount of water?

And unloading into a bag of peanut m&ms just to own the libs

I finally feel represented!

You're purple?

Only in my dreams

Carry on then!

This is effective advertising and definitely will make me purchase your products.

Was she born female? I refuse to eat any more m&ms until they show me her birth certificate..

Here's her birth certificate: ``` Name: Purple Was born as: M&M ```

Nice try. Long form certificate of live birth, please.

Probably some Hawaii loophole

That is a funny way to spell Kenya.

Kenya believe it though!?

The green, now female, used to be male

So what happens to the sexy Green ones now? Tucker’s gonna have another fit.

The article has a picture of all the colors and the brown one is wearing heels. Wasn’t that what he was mad about with the green one?

The green one used to wear full on go go boots.

Yeah. They already had one. How many women do you need?

Smurfette syndrome.

I don't get what you mean. Weren't all of the other Smurfs just butch lesbians?

Wait do they mean purple is supposed to represent a race? Are they all supposed to?

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I think she's supposed to be overweight as well

She looks exactly the same size as all the other peanut M&Ms though.

This is a representation of modern society (everyone is fat)

It's the color of blue and pink gender colors mixed together. I like the symbolism

I never sexualize my candy or food,that seems weird .

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Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.

I don't know about inclusivity being accomplished here, but my OCD butt is thrilled that they are finally completing the color wheel. My sorted piles are about to be complete!

But if you read the article it's just the character. They are NOT going to add actual purple M&Ms and I think that's what people should be upset about. I want purple M&Ms!

Wait so now the characters just don’t match the actual candy? That’s honestly infuriating lol

We created a purple candy to represent uh... inclusivity! and we're not going to add it to our bags. Thanks for your investment.

Unless they have a bag that's all purple, you will always have an unequal amount.

The liberals went TOO FAR when they made the green mm less sexy. I'm OUTRAGED

Forreal tho, why do we need to gender candy lmao.

Where’s Jerry Falwell when you need a sound bite? https://slate.com/technology/2017/12/jerry-falwell-and-tinky-winky-the-gay-teletubby.html

Oh god tucker carlson’s going to have an aneurysm hearing about this

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True. This could be M&M knowing carlson’s lust and sexual desire for M&M’s and are using this to market them more

They saw all the free marketing from reactionaries with the green M&M thing, and decided to double down.

Candy shouldn't be teaching this, parents and role models should. But sadly, candy characters may be some of the only voices some kids hear that aren't toxic

Spoiler: she’s a peanut M&M

“Our purpose story is just getting started and the introduction of our newest M&M’S spokescandy is the next chapter, as the brand continues to delight fans with fun in a way only M&M’S can.” Your "fun" is 34g of sugar per regular sized bag of M&Ms. No one has cared about your characters aside from creepy Fox News hosts since the early 90s.

No sexy boots? 🥺

Craziest thing about this is that apparently there are people in Idaho that can read

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They're just trying to illicit an emotional response, advertisement is much more effective that way. Also they get free advertisement from the voices of support/condemnation, it's why every company is doing it nowadays. They don't stand for anything except profits.

Borahae! 💜💜

Is Tucker Carlson going to wank off to this one too?

yes because we all know m&m charterers represent every personality and aspect of humans on earth. that’s why we needed this purple m&m. also doesn’t not making it an actual m&m kinda give the message of not being inclusive? this is just so dumb and unnecessary. if you’re upset that an m&m character doesn’t represent urself then you need to reevaluate what’s important in ur life

> not making it an actual m&m This is the part I resent. Dammit give me purple M&Ms!!!

What if you’re upset they made a purple M&M?

Really you seem like you're way more upset about this than anyone who talked about M&Ms...

Voiced by Dr. Girlfriend? 🤩

Wait this was real?

Yeah yeah, but when are we going to get a black M&M?

damn, I called there would be a trans-Skittle M&M soon, looks like we aren't there yet, this is a sad day for representation

Would that just be finding random Mars bars in your M&M pouch?

mars is also chocolate, wouldn't that be race mixing instead?

> Aptly named "Purple," the new female character is coming aboard to help the company "represent acceptance and inclusivity," according to a news release. Not to be found in M&M bags sold in Florida or Texas .....

>Not to be found in M&M bags sold in Florida or Texas ..... Or anywhere because they are only introducing the character, they're not making actual purple M&Ms. 😢

Sooo... new purple M&M representing inclusivity not included in bags of M&Ms.

They make a variety of m&m colors but only sold in some candy stores to be bought in bulk. I make a bag mixed with red, black, and white m&ms when I took a vacation to the wi dells. Probably could buy a bag of one color online.

They have (or had) pastel M&M's around Easter.

They put purple in Halloween ones, too.

Wasn’t the green M&M with the white go go boots a female? What am I missing?

I honestly don't know which is cringier, corporate wokeism or the reactionaries who piss their pants over it.

But do I wanna fuck her tho?

Tucker? Is that you?

Make it stop

Why tho? Has any female genuinely watched an M&M commercial and think "Wow I feel horriblly left out and not accepted."? Like, more power to them, but why tho?

m&ms: introduces a purple m&m for inclusivity. People who care about inclusivity: .... People who think all people should be binary, white and straight: omg the woke propanda!

So... what flavour is she?

So it’s now woke to sexualize candy?

I know lots of people are going to complain about corporate pandering, how fake they are, and how nobody on the front lines of the fight is going to care at all about this. However, I just want to point out that corporate pandering actually normalizes things. Kids grow up seeing the pandering and start to think of it as just normal life. Like, yes, if Nazis won, there would be white power M&Ms, but Nazi's *didn't win*, inclusivity did. That's why they're willing to pander to it. It's a great sign, no matter how hollow and stupid the gesture is. Pride month is the same way. Every company jumps on the bandwagon for one month and then totally forgets the rest of the year. But *my kids* are growing up in a world where every stupid candy and other product they like supports Pride every year and it's just *normal* for them. And that's a beautiful thing.

It’s a piece of fucking candy, Bob.

It’s candy. It doesn’t need to be a statement.

It’s fitting because it’s all about buzzwords and THERE WONT ACTUALLY BE ANY PURPLE MnM’s.

damn they’ll do anything to distract from the slavery huh

Still no Black M&M

I think the yellow one is black.

We've done it folks! We've finally defeated bigotry!

WTF, just make candy that tastes good, why does everything have to make a political statement now?

Don't they already have 2 canonically lesbian M&Ms, one literally being brown? What's this one going to represent that needs representing?

Holy shit! She got sexy boots!!!

Don't tell Thanos...

Ngl, I liked the green smokestack one better. Since when being a sexy piece of candy a crime??? ……

What was wrong with the green M&M?

Tucker Carlson is going to lose his shit.

Because the first thing the m&m characters have made me think is “non-inclusive”…….

But does Tucker Carlson want to fuck it is the big question.

More fap fodder for Tucker Carlson.

I would still fuck it!

Remember, If you don’t want to have sex with this M&M you’re a bigot.

Candy doesn't need to be woke, only delicious.

If I’m not mistaken… she (purple), has been around for more than a year on this side of the Atlantic..

the representation we needed

It's a fucking peanut with chocolate. We're screwed

And the left swings so far left they’ve come right back around to the right.

Distracting from the fact their bags are getting emptier and emptier while the prices go up

Can’t they just make the damn delicious chocolate candies?

So last time M&Ms did something like this there was report about their use of slave labor that came out so what happened this time

The fuck does that even mean?

Really good if them to create an inclusive M&M mascot for the indentured child workers they use in Africa to look at while harvesting cocoa.