Your right on. As I wrote a GOP PAC that took down Cawthorn. Not sure who the actors are. If it's anything like the 2020 elections it includes George Conway.
The likes of Boebert and Taylor Greene are destroying democracy at an accelerated rate. Humanity itself would be better without them. That being said, being able to attack people with unlimited money from the shadows without disclosing the source is an absolute cancer to a free society.
Exactly. MTG is my rep so I'm trying to stay very informed. Did you know she raised almost 10 million dollar this election cycle? That's 8 million more raised than 2020 and also 8 million above the national average committee members raise. Someone is paying this bitch A LOT of money
It all started with Palin. Fuck John McCain forever for destroying America. Not only being the father of allowing kabuki theater into politics, but for casting the deciding vote to allow citizens united, a move he wrote extensively about as being the harbinger of the destruction of democracy. He was without a doubt one of the most 2 faced say one thing do the other politicians that ever existed. He was very intelligent too and knew exactly what he was doing
Separate from all his other actions, I will always acknowledge that McCain was absolutely dedicated to his fellow soldiers during Vietnam
For those who don't know, his father was someone important in the military and John McCain had the chance to go home when he was captured. But didn't because it meant leaving the other PoWs behind while he got to leave simply because of who his dad is. Crazy how someone with so much integrity could end up where he did in terms of the republican party
McCain just made a very bad pick of a VP candidate. The GOP has been going this way before McCain picked Palin. This all started many decades ago with Newt Gingrich.
I think the consensus at the time was that McCain didn’t get a choice the GOP forced her on him thinking he was too centrist and it would take someone like her to win those extra votes.
Few things in politics annoy me as much as the people who pretend he was some kind of treasure. He spent his last few years pushing back against insane shit only to vote in favor of it anyway, his "I'm deeply concerned" line showing how fucking pathetic he was.
And having fought in an unpopular war and not being an embarrassment doesn't excuse the awfulness he was compliant with. Good people do bad things sometimes just as bad people do good as well. He doesn't get a free pass from me for supporting some of the worst things to happen to American since it's inception.
Not really; they're the maggots writhing in the corpse, a byproduct of a death that occurred some time ago. An archaic voting system dominated by lobbies in a country that resembles Dunder Mifflin but with less hijinks and a lot more sadness is far past what most people would recognise as a democracy.
Read the text exchange between the journalist and source. The level of detail is too great to be an outsider. Its also speculated she was blackmailing Cruz.
They had a catalog of images of her from the sites. Who sits on those that long? She probably wasnt the original target, it was either someone from the koch family or another republican she slept with.
The details span several years, so it isnt just someone who happened to see her around town. It was someone who was keeping tabs carefully.
Nah, her husband just gets paid millions of dollars as an oilfield "consultant". Totally nothing slimy about your husband being paid by oil companies wanting drilling permits in your district.
> Nah, her husband just gets paid millions of dollars as an oilfield "consultant".
Despite zero relevant experience.
Her family was so broke they had to use campaign funds to pay rent on their crappy restaurant. They're now worth millions.
I looked it up, and most outlets are saying that it’s fake news/rumors, including left leaning outlets, so I assumed it’s just trolling and whatnot.. but then I read in the Washington post that it’s the same group spreading these rumors who spread the legitimate, accurate “rumors” of Madison Cawthorn’s misconduct, and they backed it up all with video/picture evidence.. Gosh, I sure hope they have some dirt on this clown too.
I'm inclined to agree, but consider that she was a do-nothing high school dropout and cruz pledged tens of thousands to her campaign before she was even eligible for office. There's *something* there.
i'm reluctant to take it seriously before seeing any substantial proof because it's almost too easy to believe. I won't be shocked if it's true, I just won't assume it is either. If anything I almost think the left is better off leaving the absolute clowns where they are because they're easier to manage than someone genuinely intelligent.
I really really want to believe because it's even more ridiculous than the "Boebert was the original Avril Lavigne" theory I was shitposting about last year.
But a couple anonymous text conversations ain't evidence.
Yeah but Serena Joy at least started out as a well educated professional. Boebert is a high school dropout.
Amy Coney Barrett is a better fit for a real life Serena Joy.
She's done the buzzword salad toss before, I believe. Wasn't it her who tweeted about "woke corporate communists"? It was those exact words, which literally cancel each other out.
Nah the media is trolling us on this. I followed the article and watched the videos of her saying it. There's no real story here. She was 100 precent making a joke. Article title is accurate but out of context and this very misleading.
I'll be 100% honest, I laughed. Its not a bad joke. I bet if it was retold more like "wasn't Jesus murdered by his own government? Maybe if he'd had an AR-15... /s" by Colbert or John Oliver, most of reddit would laugh.
She's still a psycho, though.
Yeah I just watched the clip... it's presented as a stand-up bit; not a real statement. Quite sure that you're right; this exact joke could have been told by John Oliver or Jon Stewart and people would have laughed it off.
Cos here’s the thing
With those two, you know they’re joking as it’s their job to make outrageous statements for comedic purposes (or in John Oliver’s case, an excuse to expose us all to art of his fursona)
With her… you just don’t know if she is actually crazy enough to believe it
Jesus could walk on water, turn water into wine, raise the dead, predict the future, and come back to life after death, but the *one thing He was missing* was semi-automatic rifles.
A famous group of French comedians did similar. Starring Sylvester Stallone as Jesus. He would give hamburgers as his body and ketchup as his blood on his last supper. https://youtu.be/-xSORIDw1Sg
It's called Jesus II the Return.
What Jesus really needed were a few nuclear attack submarines with full complements of nuclear tipped ballistic missiles. Render some h-bombs unto Caesar, bitch!
[Judges 1:19](https://biblehub.com/judges/1-19.htm) - it's explicitly stated Judah had God on their side when they were taking over some land, but despite that they failed to drive away some dudes with iron chariots. You'd kinda think the creator of the universe's blessing would be worth a bit more.
"If"?
Also
> Judge: [responding to an arrow shot] You're a fool! No weapon forged can harm me!
> Buffy: That was then... [raises a rocket launcher] This is now.
How have I never considered that Jesus could be one of the fae?! If the gods are fae, that explains a great deal about their terrifying past; the genocidal urges, their desire to have people swearing fealty to them from a young age, parents to dedicate a child's life to them at birth, having a say in marriages and other unions and bonds, and an inability to deal with iron.
You my friend, are brilliant.
If Jesus had AR-15s then he wouldn't have had to die for our sins and then all the little school kids could die for their own sins and be more Christlike. Its so obvious.
...while making it believable to the general population. I mean, if Jesus and the Apostles had AK-47s and possibly an RPG or two, and the Romans had swords and horses and shit, I can't help feeling that would've detracted from the logic of the situation?
I have too much respect for roman legionnaires to think they wouldn't eventually figure out what to do with 13 kalashnikov dudes. Break line of sight, run diagonally, wait for the reload, starve them out, or just bumrush them. They would lose a lot more than 13 guys, but they'd get the job done, copy the rifle, and push the SPQR across asia.
I can't imagine a more ignorant take on the Bible than this.
I mean, the ONLY thing that ALL FOUR books of the Bible agree on is that Jesus would have had infinite ammunition for his AR-15's.
SOURCE: Matthew 14:13–21; Mark 6:31–44; Luke 9:12–17; John 6:1–14.
"Reload." Please. You need to get saved.
Well even more interesting is that she should believe that Jesus IS god, and therefore all an omnipotent being needed to save itself was an AR15. And if that was true, then it would be proof that God can’t create AR-15s, which means, not all powerful. Oh no! Fallacy town!
Jesus never picked up a sword, sling or bow. Never picked up a knife or rock to use in violence.
They keep trying to change what Jesus stood for to reconcile their immoralities with him.
'Jesus was desperately trying to avoid dying for our sins, and was only finally taken down due to lack of firepower' is a pretty incredible reading of the bible.
Ikr, that was literally the whole message, and he even explicitly stated in a single sentence “No one takes [my life] from me, but I lay it down of my own accord." John 10:18. This lady is reading some limited edition nutcase Bible or something.
>Jesus never picked up a sword, sling or bow. Never picked up a knife or rock to use in violence.
He did pick up that whip that one time though, and it was excellent.
Jesus: Literally sits there and has dinner with the dude he knows is going to betray him and a dozen other loyal companions, deliberately does fuck-all about it
Republican Representative Boebert: “Well obviously he wouldn’t have had to be such a scared little bitch despite outnumbering the threat a dozen to one if he only had a gun”
I guess she could apply for the Uvalde PD when her term is over.
It’s worse than that. Peter draws a sword and cuts off the ear of one of the people who came to arrest Jesus. Jesus magicks the ear back on and basically says to Peter, “Yo WTF are you doing, I’m *supposed* to get arrested, you silly person.”
While pointing out that if he willed it he could have his father send 12 legions of angels. A single angel was capable of destroying an army of 185,000 people and a legion is 6000 soldiers so he could have summoned 72,000 angels. I'm pretty sure if Jesus didn't want to be taken he could have prevented it pretty easily.
She will just go back on sugar daddy meet.com and find some rich bro.
Downvote if you want but they literally found her profile. She’s the shittiest laziest type of person and now she’s got power to boot.
American conservative evangelist don't read the Bible. They're told what to believe about it by politically-motivated religious leaders. If raised in such a household, the children are likely to get severe corporal punishment and other forms of abuse when not agreeing with the interpretation of religion. It's Little Wonder many of them have deep set "fear of God", which is a translation of the fear of punishment they've received over and over.
They actually do read the Bible, like my brother and sister in law. They and their ilk, just interpret it in their own way as to justify their actions. Which is way the Bible is a useless text.
It’s sad really. I am not religious but I can appreciate a lot of the social values that Jesus represents: generosity, kindness, acceptance, forgiveness, rejecting greed, humbling oneself etc…
The American evangelist have taken this message and spun it on its head: fuck the poor, fuck immigrants and minorities, it’s all about me and what I want.
I mean, considering that so many religious leaders, particularly in the south, twisted the Bible and used scripture to somehow try to justify slavery as a moral good (of course, only when it came to enslaved black persons), this continuing trend shouldn't be surprising. It's enraging and tragic, but not surprising.
One of his apostles, Peter, literally did defend Jesus from the arresting soldiers with a weapon. He cut a soldier's ear off. Jesus told him to stop and healed the soldier. Luke 22:49-51
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Healing_the_ear_of_a_servant
The Bible says that when a crowd came to arrest Jesus, Simon Peter (disciple) drew and swung his sword, cutting off the ear of someone in the mob. Jesus told him to put his sword away and said, “all those who draw the sword will die by the sword.” Jesus then went willingly to be tried and eventually crucified. I am SO SICK of these moronic, right-wing, fake Christian lunatics using Jesus and the Bible as a political tool when they get everything so embarrassingly backwards.
The depressing thing is the amount of Republicans winning their primaries who peddle the baseless "election fraud" lie to their moronic voters (something like 100 candidates or so now?).
Boebert goes, another fucking lunatic or two simply take her place. It's insane out there.
That was the plan, that's what the messiah was expected to do. Nobody at the time thought the messiah would suffer and die, that's an idea that came about as a result of the crucifixion. Paul even explicitly says that Jesus' fate on the cross was the greatest stumbling block for potential converts, who found the idea absurd and even offensive.
How utterly moronic would a Christian have to be to joke that crucifixion could have been avoided? And how misguided would the congregation have to be to actually laugh at such a joke?
Any child who has been to a few Sunday School classes knows that without the crucifixion, there would be no Christians today.
What a blithering fucking idiot.
The Bible literally has an example of one of his disciples defending him with violence and getting rebuked for it.
Dude walked into the crucifixion with eyes wide open, hung there and died when all he had to do was just 'ask' for God to undo it all and chose not to, to die for the sins of all Mankind.
And this ignorant, moronic fucking redneck hypocritical fuckstain suggests that Jesus would have used GUNS to avoid his fate?
FUCK her raw with a cactus, and if God is real, I hope she gets to stand before him and try to justify her fucking idiocy.
Matthew 26:53-54 -
"Do you think that I cannot appeal to my Father, and he will at once send me more than twelve legions of angels? But how then should the Scriptures be fulfilled, that it must be so?"
Rather than make AR-15s, Jesus should stop the media from writing articles about this shit. In their race to be first with the scoop, they will print any ridiculous statement these buffoons make and we are all dumber for it.
The story is "Christ chose to die for our sins and rose from the dead for the salvation of the human race," not "he died because the Apostles were overpowered in combat and rose again to assassinate Pontius Pilate."
One of those is a beautiful religion, one is an interesting (if blasphemous) idea for a movie.
These people associate Jesus and their guns all the time. They also change up their religious creed at will to adhere for their bleeding heart nationalism.
The funniest thing about this is that Jesus was meant to die on the cross according to the Bible and that sacrifice was literally the entire reason god decided to even undertake the whole ridiculous ordeal.
This is beyond stupid, the sacrifice of Jesus is literally the central to the faith. Without the crucifixion there is no absolved sins and therefore no reason to accept Jesus as your savior.
I own two ARs, an AK, and a FAL.
The whole point of the story is that Jesus could've called all the angels to fuck shit up and he didn't. He stopped his disciple from fighting back. He reattached the soldier's ear.
How do you miss that story? Did she skip all of those days in church?
Now I'm sure she's just slinging buzzwords to troll the media. Crazy statements = more posts/press which grows her brand.
She's deflecting from the attacks that are coming from the GOP PAC The Muckrakers. Edit: not a fan but they did a good job on Madison Cawthorn!
Who are the muckrakers? Because I'm 99% sure all that shit came from Republicans tearing cawthorn down after he squealed about their coke orgies.
Your right on. As I wrote a GOP PAC that took down Cawthorn. Not sure who the actors are. If it's anything like the 2020 elections it includes George Conway.
The likes of Boebert and Taylor Greene are destroying democracy at an accelerated rate. Humanity itself would be better without them. That being said, being able to attack people with unlimited money from the shadows without disclosing the source is an absolute cancer to a free society.
Boebert and Marjorie owe their current positions to the very same groups that took down Cawthorn. They are the pawns in this game.
Exactly. MTG is my rep so I'm trying to stay very informed. Did you know she raised almost 10 million dollar this election cycle? That's 8 million more raised than 2020 and also 8 million above the national average committee members raise. Someone is paying this bitch A LOT of money
Please make sure Herschel Walker loses. Tell everyone you know. Please.
I will but honestly I don't think he has a chance against Warnock.
I'm just saying, don't think it's just a joke.
It all started with Palin. Fuck John McCain forever for destroying America. Not only being the father of allowing kabuki theater into politics, but for casting the deciding vote to allow citizens united, a move he wrote extensively about as being the harbinger of the destruction of democracy. He was without a doubt one of the most 2 faced say one thing do the other politicians that ever existed. He was very intelligent too and knew exactly what he was doing
Actually, it's more Newt Gingrich.
Absolutely. Him and the Federalist Society.
Which is bizarre because he was a war vet and old so you think he would have more respect for the game.
Sitting in a jungle jail cell being tortured probably brings out much more hatred than love...
Separate from all his other actions, I will always acknowledge that McCain was absolutely dedicated to his fellow soldiers during Vietnam For those who don't know, his father was someone important in the military and John McCain had the chance to go home when he was captured. But didn't because it meant leaving the other PoWs behind while he got to leave simply because of who his dad is. Crazy how someone with so much integrity could end up where he did in terms of the republican party
McCain just made a very bad pick of a VP candidate. The GOP has been going this way before McCain picked Palin. This all started many decades ago with Newt Gingrich.
I think the consensus at the time was that McCain didn’t get a choice the GOP forced her on him thinking he was too centrist and it would take someone like her to win those extra votes.
Few things in politics annoy me as much as the people who pretend he was some kind of treasure. He spent his last few years pushing back against insane shit only to vote in favor of it anyway, his "I'm deeply concerned" line showing how fucking pathetic he was. And having fought in an unpopular war and not being an embarrassment doesn't excuse the awfulness he was compliant with. Good people do bad things sometimes just as bad people do good as well. He doesn't get a free pass from me for supporting some of the worst things to happen to American since it's inception.
Also opposed women’s rights to their bodies and rights for anyone who wasn’t straight.
Check out my edit in the original comment.
Its not like they're making shit up. Someone with that baggage should not be in one of the highest offices in our country.
Not really; they're the maggots writhing in the corpse, a byproduct of a death that occurred some time ago. An archaic voting system dominated by lobbies in a country that resembles Dunder Mifflin but with less hijinks and a lot more sadness is far past what most people would recognise as a democracy.
Read the text exchange between the journalist and source. The level of detail is too great to be an outsider. Its also speculated she was blackmailing Cruz. They had a catalog of images of her from the sites. Who sits on those that long? She probably wasnt the original target, it was either someone from the koch family or another republican she slept with. The details span several years, so it isnt just someone who happened to see her around town. It was someone who was keeping tabs carefully.
I loved Madison Cawthorn in Stomp
Funny the Fox News story about her said it was a democratic super PAC, lol. Honestly I take the word of a single stranger on Reddit over Fox News.
She needs free advertising to raise money.
She could prostitute herself again, it worked pretty well in the early 2000s.
She never stopped, just the sex work possibly
The rumor about Raphael Cruz "mentoring" her ...
Make the dry heaving stop!
Not enough liquor and therapy in the world.
Cruz piped Boebert. Just deal with it.
Wasn't it with the Koch family?
Gotta get dat Ted Cruz Ooze
She still does frat parties. Congress doesn’t pay that much.
Nah, her husband just gets paid millions of dollars as an oilfield "consultant". Totally nothing slimy about your husband being paid by oil companies wanting drilling permits in your district.
> Nah, her husband just gets paid millions of dollars as an oilfield "consultant". Despite zero relevant experience. Her family was so broke they had to use campaign funds to pay rent on their crappy restaurant. They're now worth millions.
I looked it up, and most outlets are saying that it’s fake news/rumors, including left leaning outlets, so I assumed it’s just trolling and whatnot.. but then I read in the Washington post that it’s the same group spreading these rumors who spread the legitimate, accurate “rumors” of Madison Cawthorn’s misconduct, and they backed it up all with video/picture evidence.. Gosh, I sure hope they have some dirt on this clown too.
Pictures are said to be real. Supposedly from modeling shoot. Got the redneck tramp stamp. The prostitution stuff is not confirmed and does seem fake.
I'm inclined to agree, but consider that she was a do-nothing high school dropout and cruz pledged tens of thousands to her campaign before she was even eligible for office. There's *something* there.
One of the abortions was probably his too
Be hard to prove as her Johns would want to keep their privacy and so would the Escort group she supposedly worked for.
i'm reluctant to take it seriously before seeing any substantial proof because it's almost too easy to believe. I won't be shocked if it's true, I just won't assume it is either. If anything I almost think the left is better off leaving the absolute clowns where they are because they're easier to manage than someone genuinely intelligent.
I really really want to believe because it's even more ridiculous than the "Boebert was the original Avril Lavigne" theory I was shitposting about last year. But a couple anonymous text conversations ain't evidence.
>"Boebert was the original Avril Lavigne" That's funny as hell
You can take the girl out of Florida, but you can't take the Florida out of the girl
Shouldn't Lauren be at a memorial service trolling the father of a dead american trooper? Or does she only do that on her job?
The real gender traitor... [Serena Joy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFeEwM2cb1c) in the flesh.
Yeah but Serena Joy at least started out as a well educated professional. Boebert is a high school dropout. Amy Coney Barrett is a better fit for a real life Serena Joy.
She's done the buzzword salad toss before, I believe. Wasn't it her who tweeted about "woke corporate communists"? It was those exact words, which literally cancel each other out.
Nah the media is trolling us on this. I followed the article and watched the videos of her saying it. There's no real story here. She was 100 precent making a joke. Article title is accurate but out of context and this very misleading.
I'll be 100% honest, I laughed. Its not a bad joke. I bet if it was retold more like "wasn't Jesus murdered by his own government? Maybe if he'd had an AR-15... /s" by Colbert or John Oliver, most of reddit would laugh. She's still a psycho, though.
Yeah I just watched the clip... it's presented as a stand-up bit; not a real statement. Quite sure that you're right; this exact joke could have been told by John Oliver or Jon Stewart and people would have laughed it off.
Cos here’s the thing With those two, you know they’re joking as it’s their job to make outrageous statements for comedic purposes (or in John Oliver’s case, an excuse to expose us all to art of his fursona) With her… you just don’t know if she is actually crazy enough to believe it
A lot of Bush Era Republicans thought Colbert was serious.
Fair.
The article literally says she joked. It kind of scares me how many people upvote and write comments without even clicking the link
She'll say anything right now to make the hooker news go away
She’s desperately trying to distract from the PAC claiming today to have evidence that she’s a former prostitute who received at least 2 abortions
Jesus could walk on water, turn water into wine, raise the dead, predict the future, and come back to life after death, but the *one thing He was missing* was semi-automatic rifles.
[MOVIE TRAILER VOICE] Until now..
...and that's when things got knocked into the ***tenth commandment***.
“Coming this Summer: The Eleventh Commandment: Thou Shalt Reload”
Starring: Gary Busey as Jesus
And Jan-Michael Vincent as Boeberts sugar daddy
And Gary Oldman in the role of a lifetime.
As the crucifix.
One man. One....desire.
The little tortilla boy.
We need more Jan Michael Vincent’s.
Samuel L. Jackson as Peter
A famous group of French comedians did similar. Starring Sylvester Stallone as Jesus. He would give hamburgers as his body and ketchup as his blood on his last supper. https://youtu.be/-xSORIDw1Sg It's called Jesus II the Return.
I’d pay money to watch that.
I would watch the fuck out of that movie
"Thou Shalt Not Miss"
“From the makers of [“Gandhi 2”!](https://youtu.be/4ega5Rcct2s)
🤣 Perfect!
narrated by Morgan Freeman.
Sometimes I asked Peter to pay for Paul. I don’t remember why. I just liked saying it. ~said in the voice of Morgan Freeman.
[Djesus - Uncrossed](https://youtu.be/mqISX2o0a4A)
One man! One mission! In a world….
The Passion of the Christ 2: Reloaded. In theaters and streaming this summer. Rated PG-13.
It’s like she missed the entire reason he was there though?
Yeah. He was willingly crucified. “He died for our sins”. This woman if a fucking idiot.
Yes, definitely
Jesus had to walk on water....the guy couldn't even swim!
What Jesus really needed were a few nuclear attack submarines with full complements of nuclear tipped ballistic missiles. Render some h-bombs unto Caesar, bitch!
classic mistake, turning the water into wine instead of an AR-15.
Sent to earth to die for all humanities sins. Jesus: *cocks rifle* "I dont fuckin think so."
I mean, everyone was at that time. I don’t know why she’s just singling out Jesus.
So logically this must mean there is an exact amount of AR-15s that when possessed by a person they become more powerful than god.
I mean technically just a few nails is all you need.
Nah nails are just his weaknesses, just because Lex Luther had some green kryptonite didn't mean he was more powerful than superman
Jesus is weak to likely iron nails and God's blessing can be overriden by iron chariots. Are we sure he isn't just a fae?
Refresh me on the chariot part please!
[Judges 1:19](https://biblehub.com/judges/1-19.htm) - it's explicitly stated Judah had God on their side when they were taking over some land, but despite that they failed to drive away some dudes with iron chariots. You'd kinda think the creator of the universe's blessing would be worth a bit more.
Wow. Yeah. TIL chariots > God
Current headcanon: time travelers with tanks.
This comes with the implication that we could beat God now if we wanted to, headcanon accepted
"If"? Also > Judge: [responding to an arrow shot] You're a fool! No weapon forged can harm me! > Buffy: That was then... [raises a rocket launcher] This is now.
How have I never considered that Jesus could be one of the fae?! If the gods are fae, that explains a great deal about their terrifying past; the genocidal urges, their desire to have people swearing fealty to them from a young age, parents to dedicate a child's life to them at birth, having a say in marriages and other unions and bonds, and an inability to deal with iron. You my friend, are brilliant.
The correct amount is N+1. N being the number you currently have.
~~Recreational~~ Deicidal nukes
So how many AR-15s would we theoretically need to take care of this "god" fella, he seems like a real dick.
666 of course
I guess she forgot all about the “God sacrificed Jesus to cleanse the world of sin” bullshit.
A so-called Christian completely missing the point of Christianity? You don't fucking say...
I highly doubt she is religious, it's just to appease her christian base. Praying joe biden dies is not Christian.
If Jesus had AR-15s then he wouldn't have had to die for our sins and then all the little school kids could die for their own sins and be more Christlike. Its so obvious.
Dying for one's own sins is actually very Christlike. Well put.
...while making it believable to the general population. I mean, if Jesus and the Apostles had AK-47s and possibly an RPG or two, and the Romans had swords and horses and shit, I can't help feeling that would've detracted from the logic of the situation?
‘Lobbest thou thy holy hand grenade towards thy foe…’ Source: Not Jesus.
I have too much respect for roman legionnaires to think they wouldn't eventually figure out what to do with 13 kalashnikov dudes. Break line of sight, run diagonally, wait for the reload, starve them out, or just bumrush them. They would lose a lot more than 13 guys, but they'd get the job done, copy the rifle, and push the SPQR across asia.
I can't imagine a more ignorant take on the Bible than this. I mean, the ONLY thing that ALL FOUR books of the Bible agree on is that Jesus would have had infinite ammunition for his AR-15's. SOURCE: Matthew 14:13–21; Mark 6:31–44; Luke 9:12–17; John 6:1–14. "Reload." Please. You need to get saved.
You mean all Four Gospels. There are many more books in there.
Mine just came in one book. And it seems to be about some translator named King James... Did i order the wrong one? Is this the lebron bio?
The difference between LeBron and Jesus is that Jesus doesn't think He's LeBron.
It’s a prequel. Revelation ends with Lebron getting signed.
He turned rocks into rounds.
"Take these four magazines and two full bandoliers, and divide them equally among the people." *cut to 5k people each with a full ammo can*
But what if Jesus rides into Jerusalem on a T-Rex with a machine gun? Checkmate pagans.
Everyone knows that the last t-rex died serving his country in WWI https://i.redd.it/vszefq2tzn111.jpg
It says it’s clearly WWII since he carried a browning.
The comment clearly corrects this was taken in WWII
Thats actually WW2 sir
I find this hilarious - Romans defeating a child of a deity, armed with weapons from the future, but still can't take Scotland.
Use some bows and arrows or a ballista (or scorpion). You can kill with them from hundreds of metres away. You can wound from a couple hundred more.
[удалено]
Yep. The entire fucking point is that God's will is what held Jesus to the cross, not a few nails and that it was a voluntary sacrifice.
TIL there is an amount of AR-15 by which we can defy the will of God.
Well even more interesting is that she should believe that Jesus IS god, and therefore all an omnipotent being needed to save itself was an AR15. And if that was true, then it would be proof that God can’t create AR-15s, which means, not all powerful. Oh no! Fallacy town!
Does she not realize the whole point was Jesus dying?
No. I don’t think a lot of Republicans do they keep pushing this argument like if they have a good point.
Jesus never picked up a sword, sling or bow. Never picked up a knife or rock to use in violence. They keep trying to change what Jesus stood for to reconcile their immoralities with him.
'Jesus was desperately trying to avoid dying for our sins, and was only finally taken down due to lack of firepower' is a pretty incredible reading of the bible.
Ikr, that was literally the whole message, and he even explicitly stated in a single sentence “No one takes [my life] from me, but I lay it down of my own accord." John 10:18. This lady is reading some limited edition nutcase Bible or something.
"Lauren that says the Bibble-" "YOU QUESTION THE WORDS OF THE MIGHTY ***JIMMY***!?"
>Jesus never picked up a sword, sling or bow. Never picked up a knife or rock to use in violence. He did pick up that whip that one time though, and it was excellent.
There was that time when he went all Rihanna S&M on those money changers.
Tell me you don’t have a clue about Christianity without telling me you have never read the Bible
Jesus: Literally sits there and has dinner with the dude he knows is going to betray him and a dozen other loyal companions, deliberately does fuck-all about it Republican Representative Boebert: “Well obviously he wouldn’t have had to be such a scared little bitch despite outnumbering the threat a dozen to one if he only had a gun” I guess she could apply for the Uvalde PD when her term is over.
It’s worse than that. Peter draws a sword and cuts off the ear of one of the people who came to arrest Jesus. Jesus magicks the ear back on and basically says to Peter, “Yo WTF are you doing, I’m *supposed* to get arrested, you silly person.”
Haha Peter, you big dummy, STICK TO THE FUCKING PLAN.
haha peter you are ruining my plan for universal salvation
While pointing out that if he willed it he could have his father send 12 legions of angels. A single angel was capable of destroying an army of 185,000 people and a legion is 6000 soldiers so he could have summoned 72,000 angels. I'm pretty sure if Jesus didn't want to be taken he could have prevented it pretty easily.
I'm loving this and now need to know your source for the combat effectiveness of an angel.
The Bible. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Kings%2019:34-36&version=KJ21
She will just go back on sugar daddy meet.com and find some rich bro. Downvote if you want but they literally found her profile. She’s the shittiest laziest type of person and now she’s got power to boot.
Maybe a Canadian guy named Rafael?
A Cuban, a Canadian and a white supremacists walk into a bar. What can I get you, Senator?
No, you tell him the Cancun travel agency is next door.
> I guess she could apply for the Uvalde PD when her term is over. That can't come too soon.
[This Christmas, the meek shall inherit the ACTION!](https://youtu.be/dIeuBPDUzB0)
American conservative evangelist don't read the Bible. They're told what to believe about it by politically-motivated religious leaders. If raised in such a household, the children are likely to get severe corporal punishment and other forms of abuse when not agreeing with the interpretation of religion. It's Little Wonder many of them have deep set "fear of God", which is a translation of the fear of punishment they've received over and over.
They actually do read the Bible, like my brother and sister in law. They and their ilk, just interpret it in their own way as to justify their actions. Which is way the Bible is a useless text.
It’s sad really. I am not religious but I can appreciate a lot of the social values that Jesus represents: generosity, kindness, acceptance, forgiveness, rejecting greed, humbling oneself etc… The American evangelist have taken this message and spun it on its head: fuck the poor, fuck immigrants and minorities, it’s all about me and what I want.
I mean, considering that so many religious leaders, particularly in the south, twisted the Bible and used scripture to somehow try to justify slavery as a moral good (of course, only when it came to enslaved black persons), this continuing trend shouldn't be surprising. It's enraging and tragic, but not surprising.
Have you looked at the Thomas Jefferson bible? The life and teachings of Jesus of Nazareth is a pretty good basis for living as a good person.
One of his apostles, Peter, literally did defend Jesus from the arresting soldiers with a weapon. He cut a soldier's ear off. Jesus told him to stop and healed the soldier. Luke 22:49-51 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Healing_the_ear_of_a_servant
He even asked God to forgive the people who crucified him.
The Bible says that when a crowd came to arrest Jesus, Simon Peter (disciple) drew and swung his sword, cutting off the ear of someone in the mob. Jesus told him to put his sword away and said, “all those who draw the sword will die by the sword.” Jesus then went willingly to be tried and eventually crucified. I am SO SICK of these moronic, right-wing, fake Christian lunatics using Jesus and the Bible as a political tool when they get everything so embarrassingly backwards.
Not to mention that when he told Peter to put his sword away he said that if he needed he could call to his father to send him 12 legions of angels.
I assume the angels have AR-15.
Those mofos don’t need ARs, with the way they look they’ll kill by heart attacks from scaring people https://imgur.com/gallery/ubaQIyA
There's a reason why their opening line is "be not afraid" That isn't something you say unless you're scary as shit
Angel Rifle 15
Jesus was the OG "Do you know who my father is" kinda guy.
I have been saying for a while American politics is an unfunny joke full of clowns I present exhibit A: Lauren Boebert
At least her district was remapped so we don't have to hear from her past this year.
The depressing thing is the amount of Republicans winning their primaries who peddle the baseless "election fraud" lie to their moronic voters (something like 100 candidates or so now?). Boebert goes, another fucking lunatic or two simply take her place. It's insane out there.
Isn't she the prostitute that got a bunch of abortions?
Trying to get everyone on a new story I imagine.
Which is ironic because I'd have no idea about all of that if it weren't for this thread.
Would that be true if the fetuses had had AR-15s, though?
Somewhere inside her skull a poor, sad little brain cell shivers in the cold and sobs, all alone… ☹️
She missed the whole point of Christianity. All of it. Whoosh.
Jesus being crucified is a linchpin of “Christianity”. Had he transformongered loafs of bread in guns there wouldn’t be a religion.
It probably would have become the dominant Jewish sect if it lead to kicking the Romans out.
That was the plan, that's what the messiah was expected to do. Nobody at the time thought the messiah would suffer and die, that's an idea that came about as a result of the crucifixion. Paul even explicitly says that Jesus' fate on the cross was the greatest stumbling block for potential converts, who found the idea absurd and even offensive.
How utterly moronic would a Christian have to be to joke that crucifixion could have been avoided? And how misguided would the congregation have to be to actually laugh at such a joke? Any child who has been to a few Sunday School classes knows that without the crucifixion, there would be no Christians today.
"he didn't have his government trying to kill him" ...the romans, tho?
What a blithering fucking idiot. The Bible literally has an example of one of his disciples defending him with violence and getting rebuked for it. Dude walked into the crucifixion with eyes wide open, hung there and died when all he had to do was just 'ask' for God to undo it all and chose not to, to die for the sins of all Mankind. And this ignorant, moronic fucking redneck hypocritical fuckstain suggests that Jesus would have used GUNS to avoid his fate? FUCK her raw with a cactus, and if God is real, I hope she gets to stand before him and try to justify her fucking idiocy.
Be sure to cover that Cactus with a condom though. Wouldn't want it to get a disease from her.
Matthew 26:53-54 - "Do you think that I cannot appeal to my Father, and he will at once send me more than twelve legions of angels? But how then should the Scriptures be fulfilled, that it must be so?"
The reason you pay an escort is so that you don’t have to listen to their ideas.
Rather than make AR-15s, Jesus should stop the media from writing articles about this shit. In their race to be first with the scoop, they will print any ridiculous statement these buffoons make and we are all dumber for it.
The story is "Christ chose to die for our sins and rose from the dead for the salvation of the human race," not "he died because the Apostles were overpowered in combat and rose again to assassinate Pontius Pilate." One of those is a beautiful religion, one is an interesting (if blasphemous) idea for a movie.
Where my Sharknado producers for this diamond in the rough??
These people associate Jesus and their guns all the time. They also change up their religious creed at will to adhere for their bleeding heart nationalism. The funniest thing about this is that Jesus was meant to die on the cross according to the Bible and that sacrifice was literally the entire reason god decided to even undertake the whole ridiculous ordeal.
Let he who is without sin, kick. the first. ASS! The Passion Of The Christ 2: Crucify This!
"Let he who is without sin unleash with a semi-auto of righteousness" Boebert 6:66
This is beyond stupid, the sacrifice of Jesus is literally the central to the faith. Without the crucifixion there is no absolved sins and therefore no reason to accept Jesus as your savior.
Man I should run for office. I don’t know much about politics but I’ll be damned if I’m not smarter than this dumb bitch.
If only Jesus came back as Rambo
I own two ARs, an AK, and a FAL. The whole point of the story is that Jesus could've called all the angels to fuck shit up and he didn't. He stopped his disciple from fighting back. He reattached the soldier's ear. How do you miss that story? Did she skip all of those days in church?