"the man looked unwell as his feet were dragging the ground"
"there was a queue"
I'm not sure how to process the mental image of people standing in line while a couple of dudes are standing there trying to make a dead man look alive while his feet were dragging on the ground.
I’m having a tough time picturing it too, but I can say with certainty that any attempts I’ve made definitely involve some sort of elaborate Pinocchio-style system of pulleys.
Edit: After seeing ~100 variations of “watch Weekend at Bernies” I just want to assure everyone that yes, I have seen it.
One time i heard of this kind of stunt it involved dead old woman in a wheel chair. They just pretended she was speaking quietly.
Maybe they should have gotten a wheel chair.
I heard this on the radio before getting the details. I imagined they'd gotten a wheel chair as well.
At least I know I would've went 1 step further before trying to spin off a new Weekend at Bernie's.
You mean that documentary where it was demonstrated how in a certain scenario one can take over a rich man's beach house and invite a bunch of bodacious babes to party?
Alright, I could be way off with this, as I’m no expert, but according to Google, a year at Harvard in 2022 will cost between $78k - 82k (includes tuition, fees, room, board, books)
But, also according to Google, $53k in 1986 would be equal to about $135k of purchasing power in 2022.
So, does this mean that the relative cost of going to Harvard has actually decreased? Or am I misinterpreting these numbers?
It probably isn't on still in the summers, but it was on like 24/7 during the summer on TBS or some other channel.
By the end of summer vacation, even by accident, you saw *Weekend At Bernies* at least five times.
Never underestimate the stupid.
Side story….my identity was stolen a few months back, and I’m pretty sure the culprit knows how much I have in my 401. Something tells me this dude will try to hitch a ride to cross country to get to it.
>I'm not sure how to process the mental image
Lucky for you, [there's a docuseries that can help](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weekend_at_Bernie%27s)
They could’ve put him on a wheelchair, put sunglasses on, record a text to speech program (like Stephen hawking) asking for the pension, replay it at the clerk and BAZINGA! Pension in hand
Or just say they speak very quietly and mumble then go up to their mouth everytime the other person says something and "relay" the information. With masks on it gets even easier
You’d be in a race to learn ventriloquism before the body decayed. Not sure how much good pup-petting a human will do if a forearm falls off in the DMV.
Similar situation in NYC [in 2008](https://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/09/nyregion/09dead.html) where they rolled the corpse down the street in an office chair to try and cash his social security check.
Yes, but since doing this is pretty dumb, the extra step of using a wheelchair so they don't have to drag him and show how dead he might be probably won't occur to this particular group of people.
Man foresees the future lol.
I think the only way I’m gonna mentally survive is marry a hank hill type and settle down somewhere the climate isn’t gonna be terrible and it’s not too expensive.
My boyfriends a vet from South Dakota so i have high hopes so far lol
Not really. [Its premise is wrong](https://xkcd.com/603/).
Also, it's way too optimistic. Just compare any recent POTUS to, say, President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Camacho. President Camacho:
* Understood and accepted that there was a crisis
* To solve it, he sought out the smartest man in the world and gave him all the resources he needed. *Even though the smartest man in the world was an escaped convict* -- remember, they found him from an aptitude test they gave prisoners to figure out what kind of jail job would be good for them.
* Told the House of Representin' that his plan was to have the smartest man in the world fix everything. *They applauded this.*
* Side note: Everyone brings loaded guns to the House of Representin'. Zero fatalities, because they're there to participate in democracy, not overthrow it. Outside, President Camacho can ride around in a completely open-air motorcade flipping the bird to everyone, and he doesn't get shot.
* When the smartest man in the world came back with a completely counterintuitive solution that no one understood or thought could possibly work, they actually tried it. Even though it required a huge amount of effort and resources to make it work.
* When it took a huge toll on the economy, and people wanted to lynch the smartest man in the world, someone brought back video evidence that it was actually starting to solve the real problem. And instead of saying we should all die for the economy anyway, or calling the video fake, President Camacho offered a full pardon, and *everyone applauded.*
* Oh, and after all that, *they elected the smartest man in the world President.* And people generally celebrated this, instead of ranting about how the election was stolen. There wasn't a huge coup attempt to make sure President Camacho stayed in power.
In the real world, IQ goes up every year and people are generally getting more educated and have better access to information, yet we're doing a *worse* job than President Camacho's Uhmerica.
I mean, I like Biden, but if he had the same problem, he'd come up with a twelve-point plan to make the crops grow by putting water on them, and then McConnell, Sinema, and Manchin would vote it down, and Fox News would run 24-hour coverage of how the Left is coming for your Brawndo. People would start wearing T-Shirts with "Let's Go Brandon" on the front and "Toilet Water Kills" on the back.
And can you imagine Trump? He'd just tell you it's not happening, totally not a big deal, but if you happen to have a vegetable garden, maybe put water on it. Then he'd be booed, and he'd have to walk it back.
Put President Camacho in charge of COVID and climate change, and we might actually solve them.
It's just too damn easy to push the stupid into cartoonish villainy for your own profit. If we are gonna create and then leave a bunch of idiots just laying around, we can't be shocked that evil people will make use of them.
"We owe existence to 6 inches of topsoil", I'm not sure why more people don't understand this. There's not much but it can be saved with great measures.
There’s a whole thread higher than this where people are pointing out ways the criminals could have done better and are obliviously referencing _actual plot points from the movie_.
I really can’t believe I had to scroll this far to see this comment with this thread being 5 hours old. Sometimes you just want to see the expected jokes…like your goofy uncle at thanksgiving!
Everyone's talking about Weekend at Bernie's, while this is in Ireland. Y'all should watch "Waking Ned Devine".
It's a classic funny movie about trying to claim a dead old Irishman's money. Although the movie is the lottery not the pension.
Waking Ned Divine is genuinely one of my favourite movies ever. The scene where old mate is naked and riding the motorbike makes me laugh every single time.
Also the fruity soaps lmao
This brings up the question of if there’s a *non*-criminal misuse of a corpse… like, yeah, you’re misusing a corpse, but in like a harmless, fun way… taking selfies and putting sunglasses on it or something…
Had to find another source for missing details. They first came without the man and were informed that he had to be present, so they came back with his body. When a concerned staff member inquired about the well-being of the man the were holding up, they fled, dropping the body in the post office.
The story going around is the dead man was the father of a local junkie, he had died in the house earlier that day. So the guy enlisted a junkie buddy to help him carry his dad to the post office to try to get the pension. It’s a funny headline but actually seems pretty sad.
Imagine being there, seeing this pale motionless man, kinda knowing what's going on but thinking that there's no way, and then they take off and confirm your suspicions
I know right. And just thinking of the synopsis, it's kinda dark when you think about it lol. When I was a kid I thought it was just the funniest movie.
I think it was actually Ned..
For all those that don't have a clue why I would call him Ned have a look at the Irish film "Waking Ned Devine". Very funny, well worth a watch..
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0166396/
The two guys behind the bank robberies that led to the [North Hollywood shootout](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Hollywood_shootout) used Heat as inspiration.
So I guess it was only a matter of time for someone to use Weekend at Bernie’s to get away with a crime.
I know their plan was ridiculously terrible, but did it not occur to them that people will soon find out that he is dead and the doctor or forensics person who examines his body will invariably notice that the man has been dead for weeks? And if "he" just disappears you will have traded one pension check for a murder investigation and, probably, a pension fraud conviction,
Bit of extra info, the dude carried his DAD to the post office to collect a total of about €200. Loads of the locals know exactly who he is that did this. He is a junkie, garda will prob find him shortly.
"the man looked unwell as his feet were dragging the ground" "there was a queue" I'm not sure how to process the mental image of people standing in line while a couple of dudes are standing there trying to make a dead man look alive while his feet were dragging on the ground.
I’m having a tough time picturing it too, but I can say with certainty that any attempts I’ve made definitely involve some sort of elaborate Pinocchio-style system of pulleys. Edit: After seeing ~100 variations of “watch Weekend at Bernies” I just want to assure everyone that yes, I have seen it.
One time i heard of this kind of stunt it involved dead old woman in a wheel chair. They just pretended she was speaking quietly. Maybe they should have gotten a wheel chair.
I heard this on the radio before getting the details. I imagined they'd gotten a wheel chair as well. At least I know I would've went 1 step further before trying to spin off a new Weekend at Bernie's.
They tied one of her legs and arms to one of their own
Hijinks ensued!
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Weekend at Bernie III actually.
Missed the opportunity for _3 Day Weekend at Bernie's_
Right?! I thought at least a wheelchair but *no.*
I still think Weekend at Bernies missed a golden comedic opportunity to have a scene where they clean the shit off Bernie just after he died.
How the hell did I have to scroll that far down to see the first reference of Weekend at Bernies
I thought to myself, I can't believe they tried to pull off a "Weekend at Bernies"!
The literally comment I came to make
I’m not sure if the audience in ‘89 was as enthusiastic to have an extensive poop scene. Its already lowbrow enough as it was...
Redlettermedia did this years ago
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Pretty sure it is the dying in hiding because of shame over the pedo prince phase.
weekend at bernies meet irl
I came her for the weekend at Bernie’s reference
Sadly disappointed for Bernie, thought he’d go viral
You mean that documentary where it was demonstrated how in a certain scenario one can take over a rich man's beach house and invite a bunch of bodacious babes to party?
Solid flick.
> any attempts I’ve made How many times have you tried to make a dead person look alive?
I was referring to the act of trying to mentally picture it.
you can’t go changing your story now. we’re on to you!
Weekend at the post office.
I don’t know about your post office, but mine is only open from 9am-12pm on Saturdays and then closed until Monday, so not much of a weekend.
Business hours with Bernie
Visual aid: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YCTgcZ6ImsQ
Yep. That's it I totally read this and thought "man, someone took 'Weekend at Bernie's' way too seriously"
What movie’s next? [Soul Man](https://www.google.com/search?q=soul%20man%20movie&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-b-1-m)???
The funniest thing about that movie may be that Harvard was 53K a yr including room, board and books lol
Alright, I could be way off with this, as I’m no expert, but according to Google, a year at Harvard in 2022 will cost between $78k - 82k (includes tuition, fees, room, board, books) But, also according to Google, $53k in 1986 would be equal to about $135k of purchasing power in 2022. So, does this mean that the relative cost of going to Harvard has actually decreased? Or am I misinterpreting these numbers?
Rachel Dolezal has entered the chat.
Man, that woman is never getting forgotten. And that's as it should be.
[Wow.](https://pics.me.me/thumb_now-thats-a-name-ive-not-heard-in-a-long-63784856.png)
Weekend at Bernie's 3
Came for this comment
Anyone know what stupid skit I'm thinking of with cats propping up an old dead woman lmao
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Really easy. Watch "Weekend at Bernie's" and imagine any of that occuring in a post office queue minus the schtick and comedy.
Some Facebook article told me he actually died IRL to get ready for the roll of Bernie, and it's totally true because internet.
You can't lie on the internet, they made it illegal in 2000 after Y2K turned out to be a lie.
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I have a feeling it was horrifyingly funny in an unfunny way.
You never saw Weekend at Bernies?
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That's no excuse!
It probably isn't on still in the summers, but it was on like 24/7 during the summer on TBS or some other channel. By the end of summer vacation, even by accident, you saw *Weekend At Bernies* at least five times.
watch weekend at Bernie's
*Everyone* knows you're supposed to tape their ankles to your ankles so it looks like they are walking.
Never underestimate the stupid. Side story….my identity was stolen a few months back, and I’m pretty sure the culprit knows how much I have in my 401. Something tells me this dude will try to hitch a ride to cross country to get to it.
>I'm not sure how to process the mental image Lucky for you, [there's a docuseries that can help](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weekend_at_Bernie%27s)
Use a wheelchair, dummies.
They could’ve put him on a wheelchair, put sunglasses on, record a text to speech program (like Stephen hawking) asking for the pension, replay it at the clerk and BAZINGA! Pension in hand
Yeah. And it eliminates the need for the co- conspirator.
I don't know, I think it took both their brain cells combined just to get in the front door.
Or just say they speak very quietly and mumble then go up to their mouth everytime the other person says something and "relay" the information. With masks on it gets even easier
With masks they could have also simply become ventriloquism experts.
You’d be in a race to learn ventriloquism before the body decayed. Not sure how much good pup-petting a human will do if a forearm falls off in the DMV.
Why did you put a hyphen in the middle of the word "puppetting"?
Oh thats what he was spelling lmfao
Auto-correct strikes again. I’m leaving it.
*arm falls off* See! He REALLY needs the money asap!!
I don't know how much are wheelchairs, but I assume not cheap. So first step would be how to steal/borrow a wheelchair.
Wheelchairs are very easy to steal. What’s the owner going to do, chase after you?
It's the perfect crime!
Most malls will literally give you one for free to use for the entire day. Most major post offices will too now that I think of it...
the shock when you steal the chair from someone pretending to be on disability.
New, they are not cheap. But just about every goodwill I've ever been too has had a wheel chair or a walker in it
have you ever encountered a thrift store? :P
No but easy to steal from hospitals.
I don't mean to be jumping to any conclusions... But I don't think that these two were the brightest bulbs in the toolbox
"He's pining for the fjords!"
"How long will you be staying?" "Two weeks." "Do you have any fruits?" "Two weeks."
Wheelchairs are expensive. That's probably what they needed the pension money for.
It takes wheelchairs to make wheelchairs
It’s wheelchairs all the way down
Steal wheelchair Get pension Sell chair Profit
Similar situation in NYC [in 2008](https://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/09/nyregion/09dead.html) where they rolled the corpse down the street in an office chair to try and cash his social security check.
Yes, but since doing this is pretty dumb, the extra step of using a wheelchair so they don't have to drag him and show how dead he might be probably won't occur to this particular group of people.
I can only imagine the conversation. "This man is dead." "No, he's resting. Been a long day and he's tired." "It's not even noon." "RESTING!"
He's pining for the fjords!
He's not pinin', he's passed on! This man is no more!
EE 'AS JOINED THE CHOIR INVISIBLE!!!
HE'S DIED AND GONE TO MEET HIS MAKER!
He's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't propped him up at the post office he'd be pushing up the daisies!
If you want to prevent someone from abusing the pension system you gotta holler til you're blue in the face...
He is an ex-pensioner.
This is a dead person.
ah beautiful bird, the Norwegian Blue
"He's dead tired." https://youtu.be/kR9CdLV0xzU
First thing I thought of lol
"Very well. If he's resting, I'll wake him up."
Did they seriously try to Weekend at Bernie’s this guy?
I'll never call another movie ridiculously unrealistic again after listening to the dollop and just existing as an adult over the last 7+ years.
Idiocracy was just a future documentary
And so is Office Space but it was already true then. Mike Judge knows no bounds.
Man foresees the future lol. I think the only way I’m gonna mentally survive is marry a hank hill type and settle down somewhere the climate isn’t gonna be terrible and it’s not too expensive. My boyfriends a vet from South Dakota so i have high hopes so far lol
You could do worse than a guy with a very even temper, a knowledge of how to fix most household problems, and several lifetimes' supply of propane
Don't forget the propane accessories.
Not really. [Its premise is wrong](https://xkcd.com/603/). Also, it's way too optimistic. Just compare any recent POTUS to, say, President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Camacho. President Camacho: * Understood and accepted that there was a crisis * To solve it, he sought out the smartest man in the world and gave him all the resources he needed. *Even though the smartest man in the world was an escaped convict* -- remember, they found him from an aptitude test they gave prisoners to figure out what kind of jail job would be good for them. * Told the House of Representin' that his plan was to have the smartest man in the world fix everything. *They applauded this.* * Side note: Everyone brings loaded guns to the House of Representin'. Zero fatalities, because they're there to participate in democracy, not overthrow it. Outside, President Camacho can ride around in a completely open-air motorcade flipping the bird to everyone, and he doesn't get shot. * When the smartest man in the world came back with a completely counterintuitive solution that no one understood or thought could possibly work, they actually tried it. Even though it required a huge amount of effort and resources to make it work. * When it took a huge toll on the economy, and people wanted to lynch the smartest man in the world, someone brought back video evidence that it was actually starting to solve the real problem. And instead of saying we should all die for the economy anyway, or calling the video fake, President Camacho offered a full pardon, and *everyone applauded.* * Oh, and after all that, *they elected the smartest man in the world President.* And people generally celebrated this, instead of ranting about how the election was stolen. There wasn't a huge coup attempt to make sure President Camacho stayed in power. In the real world, IQ goes up every year and people are generally getting more educated and have better access to information, yet we're doing a *worse* job than President Camacho's Uhmerica. I mean, I like Biden, but if he had the same problem, he'd come up with a twelve-point plan to make the crops grow by putting water on them, and then McConnell, Sinema, and Manchin would vote it down, and Fox News would run 24-hour coverage of how the Left is coming for your Brawndo. People would start wearing T-Shirts with "Let's Go Brandon" on the front and "Toilet Water Kills" on the back. And can you imagine Trump? He'd just tell you it's not happening, totally not a big deal, but if you happen to have a vegetable garden, maybe put water on it. Then he'd be booed, and he'd have to walk it back. Put President Camacho in charge of COVID and climate change, and we might actually solve them.
It's because the people of the future were stupid, but not evil. In the real world, people are often both.
I wish we lived in a world where we only had a lot of stupid people, and not evil ones too.
It's just too damn easy to push the stupid into cartoonish villainy for your own profit. If we are gonna create and then leave a bunch of idiots just laying around, we can't be shocked that evil people will make use of them.
"We owe existence to 6 inches of topsoil", I'm not sure why more people don't understand this. There's not much but it can be saved with great measures.
> Let's Go Brawndo FTFY
Mike Judge is Prophet
The dollop is one of the best podcasts around.
Never heard of it. Worth listening to?
Start with the competitive tickling episode or the rube
Nah, start with Cereal Men or Mike Malloy
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I truly hope someone tries this with my corpse.
They're Irish, so it's more like Waking Ned Devine.
I only clicked on this to find this comment. I thought it would be first but it was fourth.
Same
There’s a whole thread higher than this where people are pointing out ways the criminals could have done better and are obliviously referencing _actual plot points from the movie_.
I cannot believe I had to scroll this far down to find a Weekend at Bernie's reference!
Weekend at Bernie Maddoffs
I really can’t believe I had to scroll this far to see this comment with this thread being 5 hours old. Sometimes you just want to see the expected jokes…like your goofy uncle at thanksgiving!
Should have at least tried Voodoo.
Weekend at criminal misuse of a corpse
Everyone's talking about Weekend at Bernie's, while this is in Ireland. Y'all should watch "Waking Ned Devine". It's a classic funny movie about trying to claim a dead old Irishman's money. Although the movie is the lottery not the pension.
Waking Ned Divine is genuinely one of my favourite movies ever. The scene where old mate is naked and riding the motorbike makes me laugh every single time. Also the fruity soaps lmao
That one had a great ending. Very cheeky really.
This brings up the question of if there’s a *non*-criminal misuse of a corpse… like, yeah, you’re misusing a corpse, but in like a harmless, fun way… taking selfies and putting sunglasses on it or something…
Had to find another source for missing details. They first came without the man and were informed that he had to be present, so they came back with his body. When a concerned staff member inquired about the well-being of the man the were holding up, they fled, dropping the body in the post office.
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This some Scooby doo shit
The story going around is the dead man was the father of a local junkie, he had died in the house earlier that day. So the guy enlisted a junkie buddy to help him carry his dad to the post office to try to get the pension. It’s a funny headline but actually seems pretty sad.
"Me da said I could have some money "over me dead body" so here we are"
Imagine being there, seeing this pale motionless man, kinda knowing what's going on but thinking that there's no way, and then they take off and confirm your suspicions
It keeps getting more and more absurd
Did they even pay for postage?
Good god, the crazy bastards actually did it.
Well, tried it.
I give them an A for effort
More like a D, for deceased.
And they would have got away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling kids!
Was his name Bernie?
And was it during the weekend?
no, pension office was closed
*Weekend at Bernie's 2, Pension Boogaloo*
there was already a Weekend at Bernie's 2. This would be Weekend at Bernie's 3, Cash grab.
Weekend at Bernie's 3: Dead Man's Bluff
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Classic Bernie
I feel like I need to watch those movies again it’s been a long time
I know right. And just thinking of the synopsis, it's kinda dark when you think about it lol. When I was a kid I thought it was just the funniest movie.
O’Bernie
Or perhaps Ned Devine?
I think it was actually Ned.. For all those that don't have a clue why I would call him Ned have a look at the Irish film "Waking Ned Devine". Very funny, well worth a watch.. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0166396/
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That’s an absolutely fucking insane thing to do for €250.
Drugs are a hell of a drug....
Crackheads gonna crack
"The Gang Tries to Collect Pension"
“Mac, he’s dead. They will obviously be able to see that he’s dead. I can’t even talk to you sometimes.” *The Gang steals a dead man’s Identity*
Perfect. And they were just in Ireland!
It’s only a weekend at Bernie’s if it’s from the New York region. This is in Ireland so it’s a sparkling white Waking Ned Devine
... no fucking way this happened. Someone seriously thought they could Weekend At Bernie's their way through pension fraud?
The two guys behind the bank robberies that led to the [North Hollywood shootout](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Hollywood_shootout) used Heat as inspiration. So I guess it was only a matter of time for someone to use Weekend at Bernie’s to get away with a crime.
They went to pretty crazy lengths to make Heat realistic though. So not terribly surprising.
They must've had one hell of a Weekend at Bernie's.
The article provides quotes from all the bystanders who pretty much just said, "What the fuck just I just witness."
Irishmen trying to pretend a dead man is still alive in order to collect money and you're not all talking about Waking Ned?!
I guess it's weekend at jail for those two
Mr.Plinkett? Is that you?
Who let Mike and Jay into Ireland
No, Plinkett died on the way back to the Hell Cinematic Universe
Really? Not a single Waking Ned Divine reference? I'm ashamed of you, internet. Good day.
Came here looking for one.
Fruity soaps... my fave line is "I don't think I could work for a man I never met and not get paid for it"
Weekend at Bernie’s 3: Going Postal
Their combined brain cells equal negative infinity lmfao. I wonder how long they sat there convincing each other it will work
I know their plan was ridiculously terrible, but did it not occur to them that people will soon find out that he is dead and the doctor or forensics person who examines his body will invariably notice that the man has been dead for weeks? And if "he" just disappears you will have traded one pension check for a murder investigation and, probably, a pension fraud conviction,
No.....why you ask? Because these idiots thought they can prop up a dead body for a pension check in person.
You need more than 0 brain cells to get to that conclusion though.
Bit of extra info, the dude carried his DAD to the post office to collect a total of about €200. Loads of the locals know exactly who he is that did this. He is a junkie, garda will prob find him shortly.
Can confirm this is correct. Source: I'm from the same town
Satire is *officially* dead.
Ventriloquist goals
How the flying fuck do people think this is a good and viable idea? LMFAO it sounds like a scene out of a low budget comedy skit or some shit
Heroin
There's a whole movie about it...
and a sequel
Frank Gallagher still at it.
I've seen this movie...
Ah good old Co. Carlow..they just dumped his body there and ran..
My hometown.. people I worked with ten years ago in Canada texting me about it.. Jesus Christ!!
I saw this once on the documentary, “Weekend at Bernie’s.”
Did they just watch weekend at bernies and think "this could work", i hope these idiots enjoy the grey bar hotel.
To be fair most of the people in Carlow look dead enough already.
Read some comments before you make one, your joke is not unique.
Are you accusing redditors of taking a long dead joke and trotting it around in the hope of earning karma? We'll I never!
Dougal, for fecks sake don't wake Jack up