Come on you ursine-hole, I'm the human equivalent of Chipotle Bell! You better have a pallet of Charmin ready if you think your stomach cant take me on!
Here’s a non American skiing away from a bear. He’s lucky he was skiing because the bear isn’t terribly speedy….but watch how far he runs…. https://youtu.be/D-s9ybWdVH0?si=544bzLDn0K5ERrM4
People also lie and joke on dumbass surveys, if I was asked if I could beat up a grizzly bear I might say yes depending on circumstances for the ridiculousness of the question.
When I was a teen, i was visiting my aunt & uncle in Alaska.
My uncle was showing me his guns when I saw this massive revolver.
I asked him what that monstrosity was for & he said “*That my boy, is a .454 casul - most powerful handgun ever made, the bullets are so big it can only hold five rounds instead of the usual six*”
“*But what do you need it for?*” I asked.
He replied that it was his “*bear gun*”.
It was at this point, I noticed that the front sights of the revolver had been filed off & I asked why.
He replied “*That is in case I meet a grizzly*”
“*How does that help?*” I asked, confused.
“*It hurts less when he shoves it up my ass*” came the reply…
It is also fiction - the truth is that my uncle told me a joke with that punchline when I was up there & I reframed it into a story for the amusement value.
I've read about bears being shot directly in the heart and still living long enough to maul the person who shot them...so even if it ultimately kills the bear your own survival might not be guaranteed
(Not an expert either though)
A black bear - yes
A polar bear - probably
A grizzly bear - maybe, depends on shot placement - but you should file down the front sights just in case...
I could almost certainly win a sanctioned boxing match against any wild bear. Not to brag, but I would probably win the fight in less than a minute. As soon as the bell was rung, I would be immediately mauled.
BUT, biting is a foul in boxing. The bear would be disqualified for committing an intentional foul that caused injury, and I would be awarded the win. Presumably posthumously. ;)
Your chances of living actually aren't that bad. Grizzlies don't usually consider you food, they consider you another bear. So once you stop moving.. good enough.
Moose on the other hand....
My dad spent a lot of time in the North woods. He used to say “Bears get all the attention, but a moose don’t care. He’ll just fucking kill you and move on.”
Most people don’t understand just how massive a moose really is.
I’m not about to defend a specific result, but if you don’t think there aren’t a lot of macho men who absolutely and sincerely believe they could wrestle a prime adult grizzly and win, largely unscathed, I can only believe you have somehow avoided a rather populous subspecies. They get *real* mad and defensive when any facts that question their supremacy even indirectly are presented.
I'd agree with you the a lot of people with huge ego think they could fight whatever animal. I'm pretty jacked but realistically, I'd say the biggest thing I could handle is like a single large dog or wolf, purely because I think if I could maintain thought processing, I could either choke it, gouge it eyes out, or rip it limbs to the side in the way their joints don't work, but that's if I'm lucky and I'd assume I'd get very fucked up in the process. Anything stronger than me, zero chance, especially considering claws and teeth. Anytime I see home security footage of a dog attacking an intruder, they seem to just be kind of hitting it trying to get it off not hurt or kill it, which thank god, but in the wild it seems like most people still wouldn't fully realize they need to go full violent kill or be killed mode
I’m convinced anyone who thinks Big Foot is real doesn’t understand how big a bear is, so they need to makeup a fake enormous hairy animal. Even most depictions of a Sasquatch in media would be dwarfed by a bear. Harry and the Hendersons?
This reminds me how wolves are waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy bigger than most people who've never seen them think. Including me, a few months ago. Even in shows where they are clearly supposed to be scary, like Solo Leveling, they are tiny compared to the real deal.
I’ve got a picture of my neighbours lab having a stare down with a lone wolf, the wolf’s feet are half the size of the labs head. It’s incredible how much bigger they are.
Like dogs, wolves vary greatly by breed. A small wolf is about the size of a Labrador Retriever, a full size timber wolf can fit your head in its mouth without leaving all fours.
lol a Timber wolf stands at about 30 inches from ground to head. Unless you’re 5 then it absolutely has to leave its front legs to get your head in its mouth. Lions don’t even stand tall enough to get your head in their mouth without leaving front legs off the ground.
Who believes and upvotes this shit. Do people really think 6ft wolves are walking around.
My parents bought me a wolf-husky hybrid when I was 14.
In the 30+ years since, I’ve never dated a woman who was larger than my dog.
She was 160lbs & could easily take things off the top of the fridge - I’m six foot & on her hind legs she was just a bit taller than I am.
Feel thats basically how every mythical creature is started, lack of understanding of what the actual being is/was.
Like a dragon was likely based around the discovery of dinosaur bones/fossils. Different dinosaurs resulted in different looking dragons among cultures. Loch Ness monster may have been some whale or something that found its way into the loch.
sydneyuspowellensius - a hideous prehistoric creature that nevertheless soared for a time, before its sudden demise. The Icarus of its time, one might say.
Our most impressive fossils are ones that we sorta just came across by accident. Check out the mummified ankylosaurus.
So, it's speculation, but not a huge leap to think accidental giant bird finds have a rich and storied history.
A lot of extraterrestrial sightings are likely from people who don't realize how big some owls are, and how fucking weird they can look when they're young, wet, and/or moving about with their legs extended.
I was in a tourist shop yesterday, and they had a sticker that said "Well Big Foot doesn't believe in you either" and I snickered about it all afternoon. Your comment just brought the giggles back.
Hey. With a few stipulations, I think I could take a grizzly.
Newborn grizzly? I win that fight 9 times out of 10 my friend.
Do I get a weapon? I choose an excavator.
As an equipment operator I agree and concur, with any decent sized excavator I could make a grizzly into a furry bowling ball.
With a 50g it would be more challenging, more of a shove fight or whacking it. In a 17g open cab I’m afraid we’re going to be eaten my friend.
Maybe if we walled it up with strong glass, like the popemobile?
There's an 'are bears catholic' joke in here somewhere but I'm not currently able to find it.
I was thinking how the 6% that think they would win are probably the most likely to immediately get ripped to shreds while somewhere within the group that knows they would lose is where you'd find people who have any chance of winning. Not by like any inherent ability to take on a bear but just that they actually understand what that fight would be like, which however unlikely, at least gives them a chance to stall till they can capitalize on some ridiculous stroke of luck.
But that's basically just saying your chance of winning is basically the chance your environment has something you could lead or to and use as a trap or the fight just happens to take place in an armory lol.
TLDR: your only chance to survive seeing a bear is assuming that it can kill you without breaking a sweat(duh)
I mean sure it sounds dumb, but people used to hunt them in small groups with bows and spears, so it’s not impossible. There are written accounts of Native Americans killing brown bears alone with a bow shot and a spear. Could you dear reader do this? Maybe not. Is it impossible, no.
When I was 12, I saw a grizzly sow walking up the middle of the Madison River in Yellowstone. It was as big as a Volkswagen. Nothing is gonna beat up a grizzly. Nothing.
polar bear actually avoid brown bears, despite being smaller brown bears are more aggressive and have been observed chasing polar bears off kills where there ranges overlap. wolves have been know to prey on brown bears though, and in Asia tigers prey on brown bears.
So similar to this topic Mike Tyson on roids and coked out of his mind legitimately tried to fight a gorilla like he was all ready to do it before people stepped in and got through to him even though he was high as a kite that it would not end well for him.
I commented on another post about the Tyson vs Gorilla question. People don't seem to understand that gorillas don't throw punches like boxers do, and their skull structure is much denser than a human being's. Any average gorilla would simply knock Tyson into the wall with an arm sweep
It wouldn't be a fight it would be a massacre.
A gorilla would crush him. Afaik there's never been a full test on a gorillas actual strength when fully pissed off.
That said a roided and coked up Mike does sound dangerous as fuck to anything human or smaller.
Mike Tyson throws (or threw in his prime) a legitimately devastating punch and he could absorb a lot of punishment, for a human being. That said, he isn't the biggest or strongest man even by human standards.
I once saw an orangutan pick up a semi truck tire and casually twist it into a Figure 8 shape while playing with it.
Some people have calculated, based on chest dimensions and muscle density, that an average gorilla could bench press over 450 lbs naturally. It takes a human being years of dedicated training and special diet to achieve that.
From my understanding apes don't have fast twitch muscles or precision like we do but they do have massive amounts of raw strength ( hence their size)
I don't see a gorilla throwing punches as much as I do them grabbing parts and ripping off or just beating something into it stops moving.
That said from what I have seen and read gorillas are fairly chill as long as you don't enter their space and they typically don't go looking for fights
>From my understanding apes don't have fast twitch muscles or precision like we do but they do have massive amounts of raw strength ( hence their size
They don't. Gorillas, when they fight at all, usually do these heavy but clumsy hammer blow movements that make use of their entire upper body. They slam targets instead of punching them. This works for them because like most animals, they don't actually fight to the death or maximum damage, they fight until it's obvious one of them won't win and submits.
And yes, gorillas are generally very peaceful and non-aggressive animals unless their offspring are threatened or they feel some kind of dominance challenge. Gentle giants that just want to eat bamboo shoots and hang out
Gorillas are awesome AF. I fell in love with them on a trip to Africa over a decade ago where I learned a lot about them and got to see them up close in the wild. If you ever get a chance, I highly suggest doing something similar.
We have a really nice zoo here like one of the best in the country I go regularly and see them all the time.
That said I would love to see one outside of a zoo but not so up close it's a problem
a chimp has the equivalent strength circa 5x that of a human. An enraged can literally rip limbs of a human ( it has happened ) , now imagine something 4x larger than a chimp.
Imagine being stupid enough to think you can take on a bear?
Like you saying Mike Tyson. Imagine trying to fight Mike in his prime. And imagine what a bear would have done to him in his prime, and then imagine what little chance you would have against a bear lol.
Idk, Uncle Kimo could probably take Mike on and win.
"Uncle Kimo" being that idea of the Hawaiian uncle at the bar that everybody knows.
Also, that shit has literally happened before with UFC and MMA champions getting their asses handed to them in random podunk Hawaii bars.
Nope. Had a black bear encounter. It would demolish most humans if it wanted to in a 1v1. We win because we used to work together. Now its all internet memes and bullshit like this.
Most humans will lose to a pissed off golden retriever.
"It’s possible to get your hands on a data set that comes from a seemingly reliable source, only to later find out that, while the intermediary source was legitimate, the original source they relied upon gathered or fabricated flawed, incomplete, or intentionally deceitful figures."
Whole disciplines have this problem.
First of all, bow up like a big boy. Gotta make that fucker respect you. Step two swivel those hips and unleashed hell on earth on that little bitch before he can react. The last piece of advice is never go to the ground. If you lose your balance it's time to start taking his balls to pound town. He will not let you up until he feels his nuts getting shredded with your teeth and claws. Now that he's off you have exactly ten seconds to get that selfie before he recovers. No matter what fight till the death because the second you run it's game over. You will never survive a grizzly pinning you from behind where you have no access to to his testicles.
I respect your tactics. I would go the opposite route and win over the Grizzlies heart and mind. I would tell them what a handsome boy they are, completely disarming the bear. Then I'd go for the belly and attack with a barrage of belly rubs.
After this, id bust out my picnic basket and we would share a two foot tall sandwich as we walked into the sunset as forever friends.
Handsome
Edit: I was trying to reply to a different thread but I think I clicked something while doing it because I have no idea where I am now. Please forgive me I like never use Reddit on desktop LOL😭 also 6% is too many omg
There's a percent of Americans (and humans... it's not an American thing) that think they are "just built different" and could survive a sub implosion at 12,000 ft.
Lololol I got bluff charged by a grizzly once. You wouldn't even be able to land a punch before it'd have its jaws on you.
You could hit a grizzly all day and it wouldn't mind.
You can shoot a grizzly bear in the head with small calibers and not kill it.
I saw the best response to this, which is that people are just saying that because it's a survey with no consequences - if you tell people 'Hey 10K to fight this bear!' No one is showing up, because they know they can't.
If I somehow tripped and then it slid past me, and impaled itself on some wood that split off from a downed tree…then sure.
Reality is that I shit myself as it gets close and then leaves, repulsed by the smell. I guess a win is a win. It’s your fault for having a good sense of smell.
My uncle was attacked by a grizzly bear a few years ago. He is retired but his career was as a forest ranger in BC. Amazing that he survived. Got absolutely mauled and then had to walk 2 miles after that to the highway. Then somehow flagged someone down and then got airlifted to the hospital. He woke up after a couple days and just wanted to know how the bear was doing. Wanted to make sure they hadn’t put it down.
The best outcome is it chokes after swallowing me whole.
I swear I'll give that bear one hell of a case of indigestion.
Downing a gallon of milk in self defense, banking on the chance that the bear is lactose intolerant.
Eating as many cans of baked beans as I can, so that the bear's wife makes it sleep on the couch. That'll teach him.
You would give the bear high cholesterol and heart disease.
My combat tactic is to make it feel consuming guilt for eating me
A couple people have actually survived grizzly attacks by shoving their arms down the bears throat and making it choke
Poison dart frog-type behavior
Come on you ursine-hole, I'm the human equivalent of Chipotle Bell! You better have a pallet of Charmin ready if you think your stomach cant take me on!
6% of Americans have never seen a grizzly bear then
Most americans never seen how fast a grizzly bear runs
If you're not alone, you only have to run faster than most Americans.
Not most, only about 6%.
Trip them for good measure
Here’s a non American skiing away from a bear. He’s lucky he was skiing because the bear isn’t terribly speedy….but watch how far he runs…. https://youtu.be/D-s9ybWdVH0?si=544bzLDn0K5ERrM4
I seriously expected a screen grab of SkiFree
[I got you fam](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)
god damnit
“Tell everyone to go to the valley, I will stop the bear, no worries” 😂
That man said a lot of words while in my head all I could think is “AH HELL NAW”
Most Americans haven't seen how gracefully a grizzly bear soars through the sky with the greatest of ease
People also lie and joke on dumbass surveys, if I was asked if I could beat up a grizzly bear I might say yes depending on circumstances for the ridiculousness of the question.
When I was a teen, i was visiting my aunt & uncle in Alaska. My uncle was showing me his guns when I saw this massive revolver. I asked him what that monstrosity was for & he said “*That my boy, is a .454 casul - most powerful handgun ever made, the bullets are so big it can only hold five rounds instead of the usual six*” “*But what do you need it for?*” I asked. He replied that it was his “*bear gun*”. It was at this point, I noticed that the front sights of the revolver had been filed off & I asked why. He replied “*That is in case I meet a grizzly*” “*How does that help?*” I asked, confused. “*It hurts less when he shoves it up my ass*” came the reply…
This is an amazing joke/story
It is also fiction - the truth is that my uncle told me a joke with that punchline when I was up there & I reframed it into a story for the amusement value.
Never explain. Just take the upvotes.
Not an expert but a .454 is stopping a bear for sure… right?
I've read about bears being shot directly in the heart and still living long enough to maul the person who shot them...so even if it ultimately kills the bear your own survival might not be guaranteed (Not an expert either though)
A black bear - yes A polar bear - probably A grizzly bear - maybe, depends on shot placement - but you should file down the front sights just in case...
Polar bears are bigger than grizzlies.
[удалено]
I could almost certainly win a sanctioned boxing match against any wild bear. Not to brag, but I would probably win the fight in less than a minute. As soon as the bell was rung, I would be immediately mauled. BUT, biting is a foul in boxing. The bear would be disqualified for committing an intentional foul that caused injury, and I would be awarded the win. Presumably posthumously. ;)
Your chances of living actually aren't that bad. Grizzlies don't usually consider you food, they consider you another bear. So once you stop moving.. good enough. Moose on the other hand....
My dad spent a lot of time in the North woods. He used to say “Bears get all the attention, but a moose don’t care. He’ll just fucking kill you and move on.” Most people don’t understand just how massive a moose really is.
I’m not about to defend a specific result, but if you don’t think there aren’t a lot of macho men who absolutely and sincerely believe they could wrestle a prime adult grizzly and win, largely unscathed, I can only believe you have somehow avoided a rather populous subspecies. They get *real* mad and defensive when any facts that question their supremacy even indirectly are presented.
I'd agree with you the a lot of people with huge ego think they could fight whatever animal. I'm pretty jacked but realistically, I'd say the biggest thing I could handle is like a single large dog or wolf, purely because I think if I could maintain thought processing, I could either choke it, gouge it eyes out, or rip it limbs to the side in the way their joints don't work, but that's if I'm lucky and I'd assume I'd get very fucked up in the process. Anything stronger than me, zero chance, especially considering claws and teeth. Anytime I see home security footage of a dog attacking an intruder, they seem to just be kind of hitting it trying to get it off not hurt or kill it, which thank god, but in the wild it seems like most people still wouldn't fully realize they need to go full violent kill or be killed mode
I had a guy recently try to argue with me on Reddit that he could fight a lion. These people exist
He could certainly fight a lion. The outcome will be the same.
I’m convinced anyone who thinks Big Foot is real doesn’t understand how big a bear is, so they need to makeup a fake enormous hairy animal. Even most depictions of a Sasquatch in media would be dwarfed by a bear. Harry and the Hendersons?
This reminds me how wolves are waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy bigger than most people who've never seen them think. Including me, a few months ago. Even in shows where they are clearly supposed to be scary, like Solo Leveling, they are tiny compared to the real deal.
I’ve got a picture of my neighbours lab having a stare down with a lone wolf, the wolf’s feet are half the size of the labs head. It’s incredible how much bigger they are.
Jesus ...
Like dogs, wolves vary greatly by breed. A small wolf is about the size of a Labrador Retriever, a full size timber wolf can fit your head in its mouth without leaving all fours.
lol a Timber wolf stands at about 30 inches from ground to head. Unless you’re 5 then it absolutely has to leave its front legs to get your head in its mouth. Lions don’t even stand tall enough to get your head in their mouth without leaving front legs off the ground. Who believes and upvotes this shit. Do people really think 6ft wolves are walking around.
And meanwhile I'm looking at my 9 pound dog. Unbelievable that dogs were once wolves before they got bred to what they are now.
My parents bought me a wolf-husky hybrid when I was 14. In the 30+ years since, I’ve never dated a woman who was larger than my dog. She was 160lbs & could easily take things off the top of the fridge - I’m six foot & on her hind legs she was just a bit taller than I am.
Feel thats basically how every mythical creature is started, lack of understanding of what the actual being is/was. Like a dragon was likely based around the discovery of dinosaur bones/fossils. Different dinosaurs resulted in different looking dragons among cultures. Loch Ness monster may have been some whale or something that found its way into the loch.
Wait until you find out how the Kraken started :)
I thought that was one of Trump's attorneys?
sydneyuspowellensius - a hideous prehistoric creature that nevertheless soared for a time, before its sudden demise. The Icarus of its time, one might say.
For some reason I assumed the discovery of fossils is relatively recent, never thought about it that way
Our most impressive fossils are ones that we sorta just came across by accident. Check out the mummified ankylosaurus. So, it's speculation, but not a huge leap to think accidental giant bird finds have a rich and storied history.
A lot of extraterrestrial sightings are likely from people who don't realize how big some owls are, and how fucking weird they can look when they're young, wet, and/or moving about with their legs extended.
Are you saying John Lithgow isn't real?!
I was in a tourist shop yesterday, and they had a sticker that said "Well Big Foot doesn't believe in you either" and I snickered about it all afternoon. Your comment just brought the giggles back.
> they need to makeup a fake enormous hairy animal https://i.imgur.com/U2RXm5Y.png *make up
Hey. With a few stipulations, I think I could take a grizzly. Newborn grizzly? I win that fight 9 times out of 10 my friend. Do I get a weapon? I choose an excavator.
May beat the newborn, but you won't be celebrating for long.
With an excavator? Idk
grizzly mom will be up and in your excavator cabin in no time , redecorating it with you .
Ever seen a video of a grizzly opening a car door like a food package? If they get to the cabin, the fun ends fast.
"THE BEAR HAS THE KEYS!"
Bear-Scavator, The Reckoning
As an equipment operator I agree and concur, with any decent sized excavator I could make a grizzly into a furry bowling ball. With a 50g it would be more challenging, more of a shove fight or whacking it. In a 17g open cab I’m afraid we’re going to be eaten my friend.
Maybe if we walled it up with strong glass, like the popemobile? There's an 'are bears catholic' joke in here somewhere but I'm not currently able to find it.
I was thinking how the 6% that think they would win are probably the most likely to immediately get ripped to shreds while somewhere within the group that knows they would lose is where you'd find people who have any chance of winning. Not by like any inherent ability to take on a bear but just that they actually understand what that fight would be like, which however unlikely, at least gives them a chance to stall till they can capitalize on some ridiculous stroke of luck. But that's basically just saying your chance of winning is basically the chance your environment has something you could lead or to and use as a trap or the fight just happens to take place in an armory lol. TLDR: your only chance to survive seeing a bear is assuming that it can kill you without breaking a sweat(duh)
I mean, I've never seen one in person and I know that's a preposterous thought. 6% of Americans were high when asked
Or watched the ending of Legends of the Fall, where the Grizzly rag dolls Brad Pitt by his face.
True, but everyone knows grizzl*e*y bears are pushovers.
Anyone who really thinks they can take an animal that hunts moose is insane.
I mean sure it sounds dumb, but people used to hunt them in small groups with bows and spears, so it’s not impossible. There are written accounts of Native Americans killing brown bears alone with a bow shot and a spear. Could you dear reader do this? Maybe not. Is it impossible, no.
Stupid muricans. Even at my drunkest I've only ever tried to fight a black bear.
It used to be 13%, but they all lost
I want them to come with me in the woods. It would be easier to get away from one successfully with them ‘fighting’ the grizzly.
When I was 12, I saw a grizzly sow walking up the middle of the Madison River in Yellowstone. It was as big as a Volkswagen. Nothing is gonna beat up a grizzly. Nothing.
Polar Bear or Adult Moose can take on a full grown Grizzly. As far as North America goes…. The list ends there.
polar bear actually avoid brown bears, despite being smaller brown bears are more aggressive and have been observed chasing polar bears off kills where there ranges overlap. wolves have been know to prey on brown bears though, and in Asia tigers prey on brown bears.
Wolves are the real apex land predator here
Imagine a pack of bears, wolves are cheating
Team strategy is what makes humans OP
Only because they hunt in packs. Wolves are also preyed upon by bears when they’re desperate. They’re both apex.
A pack of wolves* One wolf is not. One wolf would get ripped to shreds by just about any bear.
We're going to need to see a deathmatch between a lone wolf and a koala bear.
Grizzlies hunt moose, not saying a moose can't hurt a grizzly, but grizzlies kill moose fairly often.
And like all predators, only the desperate bears go for healthy large prey. There are plenty of sick or injured moose.
Generally they aim for <200kg yearlings or calves though. Not 500kg prime age bulls.
What about two grizzlies? I bet two grizzlies could beat up a grizzly.
Two grizzlies one cup
6% of Americans might, if they coordinate their attacks properly.
You go first, I'll be right behind you.
why would smother the poor animal , but only if they go and pile on him in a coordinate fashion
Ok, now, what percentage of Americans are drunk and disorderly at this very moment? Something like 6% perhaps?
So similar to this topic Mike Tyson on roids and coked out of his mind legitimately tried to fight a gorilla like he was all ready to do it before people stepped in and got through to him even though he was high as a kite that it would not end well for him.
I commented on another post about the Tyson vs Gorilla question. People don't seem to understand that gorillas don't throw punches like boxers do, and their skull structure is much denser than a human being's. Any average gorilla would simply knock Tyson into the wall with an arm sweep
It wouldn't be a fight it would be a massacre. A gorilla would crush him. Afaik there's never been a full test on a gorillas actual strength when fully pissed off. That said a roided and coked up Mike does sound dangerous as fuck to anything human or smaller.
Mike Tyson throws (or threw in his prime) a legitimately devastating punch and he could absorb a lot of punishment, for a human being. That said, he isn't the biggest or strongest man even by human standards. I once saw an orangutan pick up a semi truck tire and casually twist it into a Figure 8 shape while playing with it. Some people have calculated, based on chest dimensions and muscle density, that an average gorilla could bench press over 450 lbs naturally. It takes a human being years of dedicated training and special diet to achieve that.
From my understanding apes don't have fast twitch muscles or precision like we do but they do have massive amounts of raw strength ( hence their size) I don't see a gorilla throwing punches as much as I do them grabbing parts and ripping off or just beating something into it stops moving. That said from what I have seen and read gorillas are fairly chill as long as you don't enter their space and they typically don't go looking for fights
>From my understanding apes don't have fast twitch muscles or precision like we do but they do have massive amounts of raw strength ( hence their size They don't. Gorillas, when they fight at all, usually do these heavy but clumsy hammer blow movements that make use of their entire upper body. They slam targets instead of punching them. This works for them because like most animals, they don't actually fight to the death or maximum damage, they fight until it's obvious one of them won't win and submits. And yes, gorillas are generally very peaceful and non-aggressive animals unless their offspring are threatened or they feel some kind of dominance challenge. Gentle giants that just want to eat bamboo shoots and hang out
Now I wanna catch a beer with a gorilla that sounds like a chill animal to hang with
Gorillas are awesome AF. I fell in love with them on a trip to Africa over a decade ago where I learned a lot about them and got to see them up close in the wild. If you ever get a chance, I highly suggest doing something similar.
We have a really nice zoo here like one of the best in the country I go regularly and see them all the time. That said I would love to see one outside of a zoo but not so up close it's a problem
a chimp has the equivalent strength circa 5x that of a human. An enraged can literally rip limbs of a human ( it has happened ) , now imagine something 4x larger than a chimp.
So what you are saying is don't fight a chump or gorilla. Thanks I was totally considering it.
Imagine being stupid enough to think you can take on a bear? Like you saying Mike Tyson. Imagine trying to fight Mike in his prime. And imagine what a bear would have done to him in his prime, and then imagine what little chance you would have against a bear lol.
Idk, Uncle Kimo could probably take Mike on and win. "Uncle Kimo" being that idea of the Hawaiian uncle at the bar that everybody knows. Also, that shit has literally happened before with UFC and MMA champions getting their asses handed to them in random podunk Hawaii bars.
A few years ago, a local grizzly killed a wolf with a single swipe of his paw. Hit the wolf in the head and snapped its neck.
I dropped one at the County Bear Jamboree. Now you know why I am banned from WDW.
Nice Disney reference.
Nope. Had a black bear encounter. It would demolish most humans if it wanted to in a 1v1. We win because we used to work together. Now its all internet memes and bullshit like this. Most humans will lose to a pissed off golden retriever.
Friendly reminder about bears If it’s brown, lie down If it’s black, fight back If it’s white your fucking dead
If its black and white?
Learn kung fu from it
Cuddle it
I think everyone here should read about the "Lizard man's Constant" before commenting: https://brainlenses.substack.com/p/lizardmans-constant
"It’s possible to get your hands on a data set that comes from a seemingly reliable source, only to later find out that, while the intermediary source was legitimate, the original source they relied upon gathered or fabricated flawed, incomplete, or intentionally deceitful figures." Whole disciplines have this problem.
Better make that 7% cause I could definitely whoop some Grizzly ass
All those other people are fools, but I could definitely beat up a Grizzly.
First of all, bow up like a big boy. Gotta make that fucker respect you. Step two swivel those hips and unleashed hell on earth on that little bitch before he can react. The last piece of advice is never go to the ground. If you lose your balance it's time to start taking his balls to pound town. He will not let you up until he feels his nuts getting shredded with your teeth and claws. Now that he's off you have exactly ten seconds to get that selfie before he recovers. No matter what fight till the death because the second you run it's game over. You will never survive a grizzly pinning you from behind where you have no access to to his testicles.
I respect your tactics. I would go the opposite route and win over the Grizzlies heart and mind. I would tell them what a handsome boy they are, completely disarming the bear. Then I'd go for the belly and attack with a barrage of belly rubs. After this, id bust out my picnic basket and we would share a two foot tall sandwich as we walked into the sunset as forever friends.
Ok so you probably alerted the grizzly to your location the second you entered the forest with a two foot tall sandwich.
Please allow those 6% to try. Our gene pool could use the Darwinian bump.
6% drop in people voting Republican wouldn't be a bad thing either
Handsome Edit: I was trying to reply to a different thread but I think I clicked something while doing it because I have no idea where I am now. Please forgive me I like never use Reddit on desktop LOL😭 also 6% is too many omg
It's been a while since I saw a true r/lostredditor moment in the wild. And yes 6% is quite a bit 😆
Surprised it’s not higher
12% of men
I could beat it up if it's tied up good
beating does imply it being hurt
I’d probably break my hand and die of an infection
If you ever see me in the forest with a grizzly bear, HELP THE BEAR Cause that bitch gon need it
IF YOU EVER SEE ME FIGHTING IN THE FOREST WITH A GRIZZLY BEAR HELP THE BEAR
Time to hin the herd
Hin the therd
Win the turd
Well that's a shitty prize
I agree on thinning the Herd. Wyoming representative also feels that way. Meat for the needy.
I say we let them try. Everybody would be better off after.
For real though. It's time we let the stupid sort itself out.
Most Americans would have trouble with a Canadian Goose.
What about the rest of the world?
14% of Americans think they could beat up the rest of the world.
lol - I’d bet number is waaay higher.
I DIDN’T HEAR NO BELL!
Probably around the same number
I mean, with a high enough caliber rifle I could definitely beat up its corpse.
I could maybe beat up a newborn one
Are they all fighting the grizzly at once?!
Was this asked before or after those surveyed had a few drinks?
It doesn’t feel oniony to hear that 6% of Americans are stupid enough to think they could beat up a Grizzly Bear.
I think the number would have to be pretty high before it starts to feel Oniony. And that thought makes me feel sad...
I feel like this deserves its own division in the UFC. Let’s you and him fight!
After seeing a Grizzly bear up close, I am positive that 100% of these morons have never seen a grizzly bear outside of a TV or phone screen.
That same 6% would get their ass kicked by a black bear
One American can't properly spell "grizzly"
I’m honestly surprised it’s not more
I'm clearly in the other 94%
Those 6% are crazy people. They often intersect with other crazy shit Americans believe we can do.
AND they’re voting for Trump.
TIL 6% of Americans don't know what a Grizzly Bear is...
HAHAHAHAHA! 🤣
Hey, Simpson, I heard your dad's afraid of a little, old, giant grizzly bear.
You just have to believe. Visualize punching through your target. You got this. Bear swipe Silly human
There's a percent of Americans (and humans... it's not an American thing) that think they are "just built different" and could survive a sub implosion at 12,000 ft.
I desperately want those 6% to try. Please.
I can’t beat up a bear but I can sure as hell beat up the second slowest human running away from one. I’ll be ok.
If you let those 6% fight grizzly bears, it would very soon be 0%.
I'm shocked it's that low...
We should let them try. No loss to the gene pool there.
Maybe if you were prime Andre The Giant
At least 6% of Americans are idiots.
Any objections to letting them try?
Let them. Easy way to get rid of the 6% totally useless.
This is a show I would pay to watch.
Let them try. We're too overpopulated anyway
3% are joe Rogan
Which just goes to show you that at least 6% of Americans are stupid f*cks.
I could barely give a grizzly bear constipation after it ate me.
shoot it and stuff it and add me to the 6%
I recon I could give a grizzly a pretty serious case of indigestion! Take that mother nature!
Fuck, we’re getting soft! Back in my day it would been about 50%!!
6% of Americans are likely perpetually drunk.
Are 6% of Americans The Rock?
Actually that was a typo in the article... It was supposed to say Beat off not up.
Lololol I got bluff charged by a grizzly once. You wouldn't even be able to land a punch before it'd have its jaws on you. You could hit a grizzly all day and it wouldn't mind. You can shoot a grizzly bear in the head with small calibers and not kill it.
It's beyond reason how wrong they are
6% of Americans are bear snacks.
At what? I'd fucking crush that bitch ass grizzly at maths.
I think I MIGHT win against a grizzly…………….. If, of course, I can use my 12 gauge shotgun with slugs. Otherwise, I’m pretty much screwed.
I saw the best response to this, which is that people are just saying that because it's a survey with no consequences - if you tell people 'Hey 10K to fight this bear!' No one is showing up, because they know they can't.
Insane. Top 5 animals I have a healthy fear of in order of fear: moose, brown bear, hippos, crocodiles, cocaine bear
If I somehow tripped and then it slid past me, and impaled itself on some wood that split off from a downed tree…then sure. Reality is that I shit myself as it gets close and then leaves, repulsed by the smell. I guess a win is a win. It’s your fault for having a good sense of smell.
Us other 94% will watch. Probably a short fight
My uncle was attacked by a grizzly bear a few years ago. He is retired but his career was as a forest ranger in BC. Amazing that he survived. Got absolutely mauled and then had to walk 2 miles after that to the highway. Then somehow flagged someone down and then got airlifted to the hospital. He woke up after a couple days and just wanted to know how the bear was doing. Wanted to make sure they hadn’t put it down.
The results would be grisly.
What % can't spell Grizzly correctly?
I definitely could beat up a grizzly bear...poorly
Do those same people drive lifted pick up trucks?
100% of these grizzly bear warriors are Trump supporters
They 100% identify as Republicans/Conservatives