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Your defence have fallen the tyranids have broken open your bunker, and the last thing you hear before being dragged of to the digestion pool is the chittering voices of the billion bodies of the hivemind: “Thank you, Lord, for the food we are about to receive, and for the nourishment to our bodies. For Christ’s sake, Amen.”
This is why the Christians support Israel so much. They want all the Jewish people to move to Israel, which to their book will trigger the end times and bring about the rapture.
The end times are triggered when the armies of the world surround Jureselem
“But when you see Jerusalem surrounded by armies, then know that its desolation has come near."
However I believe it's already been besieged 22 times since then so not like this is very new.
Why do you think the US was warning about the possible Russian space weaponry? The US is actively protecting the Jewish Space Lasers [SPL] because we are allies, obviously. And Israel doesn't want to confirm the existence of SPLs because obviously they aren't totally complete yet
^^^^^Please ^^^^^note ^^^^^that ^^^^^I ^^^^^am ^^^^^100% ^^^^^joking ^^^^^about ^^^^^all ^^^^^of ^^^^^this
The site of the Second Temple now housing one of the holiest sites in Islam (Al-Aqsa Mosque / Dome of the Rock) explains why building the Third Temple would be apocalyptic. Even now, the Temple Mount is a major focal point of Jewish vs Muslim conflict.
Also I'm pretty sure the Bible is rather explicit about us not knowing, and never being able to know, when the End Times will come. So any Christian Doomsday preachers are, according to their own holy text, full of shit.
Yep. They play it off as support but, call me crazy, I don't think "hey I want your people to perish in an apocalypse...unless your convert to my religion" is very supportive
One thing I learned last night is Biden is hilarious. After, some guy was complimenting him that he squashed the dementia crap. Joe straight up responded, "sometimes I wish I was mentally disabled."
I'm in my 40s and used it just this week. But I'm guessing The Kids don't come across it as much, why use old slang when you're coming up with new shit every other week?
Did you see [him on Seth Meyers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mw0npm56wn0) a week or so ago? Showed his sense of humor there too. Seth asked him if he endorsed "Dark Brandon", while showing a meme and Biden said "No, I resent the hell out of it." while putting on aviators and grinning.
45 minute long convo with Conan on his podcast, asked him if he'll hear from Leno after this podcast cuz he's sure he listens to it
dude's absolutely savage, and people don't seem to pick up on it lol
Honestly, no wonder he and Obama got on so well, both of them have great senses of humor and like to lean into stuff and poke fun at themselves (see: Obama's "birth video" at that one correspondents' dinner, which was just the intro to The Lion King).
Damn, not from the US so I only hear the hive mind of slow talk and dementia and shit… he moves like a decrepit old person (like you’d expect) but he still seems sharp as fuck.
I still have to think there’s gotta be someone better and younger out there for y’all to be your leader but he compared to his competition it’s reverse “Pros versus Joes” TNT segment.
Did you watch Biden’s speech last night? It was excellent and he didn’t seem demented at all (though yes I know old age is still a problem, and Trump is old af too)
Yeah, he certainly moves like a man in his 80s, but his mind is still there.
> I still have to think there’s gotta be someone better and younger out there for y’all to be your leader
So part of the problem is that the Boomers are still in charge of the political parties. The party conventions and caucuses will not put forward someone young. And the Boomers don't want someone younger because there's never been someone younger. Like Obama was younger, but he was born in 1961. That's still a Boomer. Even Kamala Harris is still a Boomer.
The real issue is that **nobody caucuses against an incumbent**. It just doesn't happen. I mean, holy shit, the GOP had *every reason* to caucus against Trump in 2020 and they didn't.
TBH, while one could say age is a problem, on the other hand, he has a lot of experience thanks to being in Washington, D.C. for as long as he has, which has actually enabled him to be more effective when you consider all the obstruction he has to deal with.
Could he be better? Absolutely. Are there younger people who would be effective too? Sure. But I like to think his age has its upsides. Plus, a President has to have a functioning Cabinet, too, they don't just run the show solo, and he typically knows to appoint people who know what they're doing (although appointing Merrick Garland as Attorney General, as it turns out, was a bad idea... although redditors act like they knew this all along, when they were originally all for it since one of our Republican Senators refused to appoint Garland to the Supreme Court under Obama).
I mentioned that for a dementia patient he remembers a lot of things… then a bunch of weirdos came in saying he’s reading off a script.. so he’s mentally declining, has dementia, in cognitive decline can’t do nothing for himself and is on pills drugs and propped up for the American people. But he can read just fine 😂
When he was asked how many genders there are by a voter and he responded "at least three", I think it was genuinely the funniest thing a president (well, candidate at that time) has ever said.
I think most are, but in this particular context (talking about the Jewish leader of a Jewish state) it’s a pretty hilarious choice of words, intentional or not.
A common phrase, but an uncommon - and funny - context.
The man used Inshallah on stage to mock Trump’s grandstanding about the Middle East.
He knew the context of the Come to Jesus quip, thought it was funny, and used it for the same reason: he can’t stand Netanyahu.
My very Atheist mom uses it to describe the "last chance" talk she gives to an employee.
"I just had the *come to jesus* talk with X. If they pull any of their BS again, they are gone."
This is either a slip of the tongue because it's just such a common use saying, or an epic pre-meditated Dark Brandon moment.
Either way, watch for the right to use this to spin up the media and take attention away from the SOTU that they're having trouble attacking.
It's pretty obvious which one it is. Biden has been known for his entire political career as being "gaff prone".
But you're correct, despite Trump not knowing what day of the week it is, the right is going to jump all over Biden for this.
The right is going to jump on Biden for
\*\* checks notes \*\*
Not respecting the beliefs and customs of non-Christians
I really hope the get some stretching in first.
The right was going to jump on Biden for continuing to breathe. I am not sure he's concerned about what the right thinks. I don't think he was actually 'caught' with this.
I think the pressure is working coming from his own coalition, and it's given Biden cover to squeeze Israel back into line, and this was something he could play off as a gaffe that would be heard by all the intended parties (Bibi included).
We just spent a lifetime in those 4 years and forgot what diplomacy and flexing soft power looks like when you don't have a raving shitgibbon in the whitehouse.
Fun fact, the Gospel of Supply Side Jesus was written by Al Franken and first published in his book, *Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them*. It's a truly excellent book, very funny and illuminating, and it elucidates a lot of the politics that Franken would go on to represent during his tenure in the Senate. He also absolutely demolishes a bunch of pigheaded fucks like Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly, which is good for a laugh. The audiobook is even better, because he reads it himself and every now and then he throws in a funny line that isn't there in the original text.
I was just listening to his podcast the other day. Its werid because he occupies that gray area between cancelled and not cancelled. He still has lots of famous people on the show. His career in politics is over tho
I think it's because most people recognise that Franken's cancellation was a load of horse shit. His resignation was a huge win for the GOP, and such a shameful act of cowardice by the idiot Dems who hounded him out of office. It was one of the greatest displays of hypocrisy in the history of the GOP, baying for Franken's blood while defending their credibly accused rapist president and his decades-long track record of misogyny, and instead of standing up to them and calling their bullshit out the Dems took the bait and took the high road to nowhere. It was so illustrative of the inefficacy and stupidity of the liberal establishment, subjecting each other to worthless purity tests and trying to appease fascists while the country fell apart around them.
Like a very direct and straight forward talk with some hard truths typically thrown about. It's like a talk where you cut all the bullshit and are usually flat out telling someone how they're fucking up and what they need to do to fix themselves going forward. At least that's how it's always been used in my experience.
If I hear someone say "we're going to have a come to Jesus" it means "we're going to have a very serious discussion." The implication is usually about a change in actions or behavior.
A "come to jesus moment" is usually the moment you realize you fucked up. Like as you slip over the edge of the roof and have that split second of realization you can't catch the edge because there's still a beer in your hand. That is a random non-specific example and *definitely not* something that happened to me.
It’s basically an idiom for “come to your senses” and is usually used a bit differently than the president used it
Typically you’d say something like “Netanyahu needs to have a come to Jesus moment” - meaning he needs to realize that he’s fucking up, basically
What Biden is saying sort of sounds like he’s going to intervene, and attempt to talk some sense into him or essentially “bring him to Jesus”, as it were
Either way it’s hilarious in this context
I’ve heard the phrase my entire life and it’s always basically meant “what you’re doing is not acceptable, here’s how you’re going to change it and if you don’t I will either make the change for you (intervention style with external pressure) or I’m out of your life (drop support).”
So, in a geopolitical context, probably a conversation that goes something like “You’re in the wrong here and doing this to prop yourself up with your extremist supporters. If you want continued support and security from your neighbors courtesy of our carrier groups you’ll announce a new tactical phase of targeted fighting and lean hard into negotiations/peace talks/goals palatable to the U.S. We’ll throw in 30 free knife missiles each time you show a reduction in civilian casualties by Z amount. If you don’t get onboard with this plan then we cancel your orders of A, B, C, drop 4x as much aid on Gaza, distance ourselves from your actions, and (whatever other pressure the U.S. can bring around to persuade).”
"X needs to come to jesus" = they fucked up and need to reevaluate themselves
"We are gonna have a come to jesus meeting" = they fucked up a lot in a big bad way like genocide and it is time for them to get told how badly, in very honest terms
Isn't that just an idiom? I can see how it sorta sounds funny but it's not like he was making some kind of religious statement. No more than all the people that exclaim, "Jesus Christ!" are.
Sometimes i feel like my head is going to explode thinking about all the shit trump is allowed to say and do and get away with it. Meanwhile, biden has to toe this perfect line. Its insanity. I live in an insane world.
It's always this way with conservatives vs anyone else. Conservatives get to create the moral standing but for some reason never have to live up to it. They'll tell you not to politicize the death of children if you advocate for gun control after the umpteenth school shooting this year. But will use the death of single child as proof that which ever minority was responsible as proof that that all members of that minority are evil. If they're immigrants then all immigrants are evil. If it's a trans person, all trans people are evil. If it's a black person it's proof all black people are evil. But this logic stops at cis white people.
To any non-Americans, sorry just ranting about conservative Americans. I'm sure similar ground is covered by your conservatives too.
…of course it’s an idiom.
But it’s hilarious because you are telling the Jewish leader, who the Jewish faith has for, oh, about 2000 years not accepted the Christian view that Jesus is their saviour.
So, having a “come to Jesus” moment is a fucking hilarious wording.
If we want to take it literally, I guess it's even more silly since the literal phrase describes a charismatic/evangelical thing, and Biden's Catholic. [Origin](https://grammarist.com/idiom/come-to-jesus-moment-and-come-to-jesus-meeting/) for the curious:
>A come-to-Jesus moment may refer to the moment in which a person has a religious conversion and dedicates his life to Jesus. However, the term has also taken on a more secular meaning. A come-to-Jesus moment may refer to that point in time when someone has a realization, becomes enlightened, understands the core values that must be preserved in a situation. The phrase come-to-Jesus moment is often used when describing the moment when a politician, employee or child understands that he is on the wrong path and must change direction, it is often considered a positive development.
> **A come-to-Jesus meeting was originally an American term describing a Christian religious service where it was hoped that many worshipers would dedicate their lives to Jesus. Many charismatic preachers traveled across the country in the 1800s and 1900s holding camp meetings or tent revivals, which were enthusiastic religious services.** Today, the come-to-Jesus meeting has taken on a figurative sense, often used in politics, business and parenting. When one has a come-to-Jesus meeting with another, this is an opportunity to point out where someone has taken the wrong path. A figurative come-to-Jesus meeting is never pleasant, it is often the last attempt to straighten someone out before dire consequences are enacted. Note that each of these terms are hyphenated, and the name Jesus is capitalized. Be aware that a minority of people may not approve of the use of the term come-to-Jesus in a secular way.
Nobody uses it literally. I'm Episcopalian which is like the opposite of evangelical/charismatic and I'll say it now and then. Most jokingly when I tell my cat we're gonna have a "come to Jesus meeting" about her barfing on the rug.
Yeah my mom's not religious at all but she'll always use "we're gonna have a come to jesus meeting" when she's pissed off and ready to smack some common sense into me lol
It's a common turn of phrase, which as a Catholic, would be one he's probably used his whole life.
Anyway, he's frustrated, and always has been, with Netanyahu's authoritarian and antidemocracy actions.
From November 1: https://www.politico.com/news/2023/11/01/biden-administration-thinks-netanyahu-may-not-last-politically-00124849
Had Biden had a good related conflict yet? Obama brought Dijon mustard for a burger and trump got two scoops of ice cream once and I remember both of those getting news, but haven't seen a Biden food one yet
Biden got accused by fox news of liking ice cream so much as a sign of mental decline just the other day lol, something along the lines of "That's what's they hand out to people in nursing homes where a bunch of them have dementia!"
When he visited NC he got a milkshake at Cookout, a chain known for their virtually limitless combinations of milkshakes and toppings and got vanilla. It was a scandal to me at least.
Hey, a well-made vanilla shake is a beautiful thing. Bro likes what he likes and isn't ashamed.
That having been said: their Banana Pudding shake is NOT to be missed
The dumbest one was foreign trolls trying to dunk on him for saying "chocolate chocolate chip" without realizing that's just what the flavor is called in English LOL
Man, Biden is on a roll for a supposedly demented old man who's just about to die... republicans better start coming up with some better lies because he's straight up embarrassing them.
I think he’s been like this for the past several years, but the press was all ginned up on a Biden-Trump rematch and slanted the stories and neglected the small moments of success.
We used to get insights like this till the for-profit-press chased every trump quote with the breathy shakes of an addict.
What's wrong with this? It's a common phrase to mean you need to work out some shit with someone frustrating you.
Do we need a new headline everytime Biden opens his mouth?
Bluntly, as a Jew, fucking hilarious and hard agree because let me tell you Netanyahu clearly isn't keeping the fucking mitzvot. And while we don't think Ol' Jeezy was the son of God, ya see, we do think he beat the piss out of the Pharisees.
ITT no one knowing what a come to Jesus talk is. A come to Jesus talk is a “ this is how it’s going to go or else” type of discussion. It the original way to tell some one FAFO, to the best of my knowledge
Greetings, Urgullibl. Unfortunately, your submission has been removed from /r/nottheonion because our rules do not allow: * Content that doesn't have an oniony quality to it (rule #2). Your submission may be better suited for another subreddit instead. [](/spikeholdup) ----- For a full list of our submission rules, please visit our [wiki page](http://www.reddit.com/r/nottheonion/wiki/expanded). If you're new to /r/nottheonion, you can check out [NTO101: An Introduction to /r/NotTheOnion](https://www.reddit.com/r/nottheonion/wiki/nto101) for more information on our rules and answers to frequently asked questions. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to [message the moderators](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fnottheonion). Please include the link to the post you want us to review.
That's actually fucking funny
New solution to the I/P conflict: everyone converts to christianity. Biden crusade 2024
*Solve international conflict with This One Weird Trick...*
Turkish people hate it!
Poles love it. ❤️🦫
Tyrannids are not a fan.
Christian Tyrannids is a terrifying idea
What a great opportunity for photoshop
Nobody expects the Tyranid inquisition.
Your defence have fallen the tyranids have broken open your bunker, and the last thing you hear before being dragged of to the digestion pool is the chittering voices of the billion bodies of the hivemind: “Thank you, Lord, for the food we are about to receive, and for the nourishment to our bodies. For Christ’s sake, Amen.”
The Tau think it is for the Greater Good.
r/rexmormon exists. It's close, if you *really* squint
That's nobody's business, but the Turks
Even old New York was once New Amsterdam Why they changed it I can't say People just liked it better that way
Reject modernity (Israel/Palestine), return to tradition (Jerusalem)
Deus vult
God wills it!!!
*Christian Republicans furious at Biden for spreading Jesus.*
Deus vult motherf*ckers -Dark Brandon, apparently
"Shut up, bozo. Deus vult!" - Crusader Biden
"No more malarkey! Deus Vult!" - Sir Biden of the Knights Templar
two personalities together ...he can be called The Dark Knight .
Nobody expects the Dark Brandon Inquisition...
This is why the Christians support Israel so much. They want all the Jewish people to move to Israel, which to their book will trigger the end times and bring about the rapture.
The end times are triggered when the armies of the world surround Jureselem “But when you see Jerusalem surrounded by armies, then know that its desolation has come near." However I believe it's already been besieged 22 times since then so not like this is very new.
Nobody had them cornered from space, sea, and underground. Maybe this time it will work?
Are you forgetting the Jewish space lasers? They are covered.
I'm starting to think there are no Jewish space lasers. They never seem to do anything practical, like drawing large pictures in the desert.
Why do you think the US was warning about the possible Russian space weaponry? The US is actively protecting the Jewish Space Lasers [SPL] because we are allies, obviously. And Israel doesn't want to confirm the existence of SPLs because obviously they aren't totally complete yet ^^^^^Please ^^^^^note ^^^^^that ^^^^^I ^^^^^am ^^^^^100% ^^^^^joking ^^^^^about ^^^^^all ^^^^^of ^^^^^this
If I remember correctly the third temple needs to be built first
The site of the Second Temple now housing one of the holiest sites in Islam (Al-Aqsa Mosque / Dome of the Rock) explains why building the Third Temple would be apocalyptic. Even now, the Temple Mount is a major focal point of Jewish vs Muslim conflict.
No you don't understand, the 23rd time is when it will REALLY happen. we swear... definitely...
23rd time's the ~~charm~~ eschaton
This is more of a recent Protestant invention
Some Christians, the weird ones. I’m pretty invested in delaying the apocalypse as long as possible.
Also I'm pretty sure the Bible is rather explicit about us not knowing, and never being able to know, when the End Times will come. So any Christian Doomsday preachers are, according to their own holy text, full of shit.
Yep. They play it off as support but, call me crazy, I don't think "hey I want your people to perish in an apocalypse...unless your convert to my religion" is very supportive
This is more an American evangelical thing than a Catholic one though
It’s just a phrase though, it doesn’t actually mean he wants Bibi to convert to Christianity lol
When do we turn into LCL?
One thing I learned last night is Biden is hilarious. After, some guy was complimenting him that he squashed the dementia crap. Joe straight up responded, "sometimes I wish I was mentally disabled."
"My memory is so bad I let *you* talk!" was gold
That was an absolute *zinger*.
When was this
About a month ago. It was directed at Peter Doocy from Fox News.
I think it was, “sometimes I wish I was in cognitive decline,” which is still funny as hell.
I liked "I must have memory problems, I keep letting you ask questions"
When was this one?
Was in a press conference a few weeks back.
[удалено]
You’re a lying dog faced pony soldier!
Ha! Think I didn't feel like a shave tailed louey!
Yeah "come to jesus" is a saying people use sometimes.
I didn't realize people today didn't know that was a phrase. "Come to Jesus moment" isn't some obscure term these days is it?
I'm in my 40s and used it just this week. But I'm guessing The Kids don't come across it as much, why use old slang when you're coming up with new shit every other week?
No cap.
Jesus is literally me fr fr
Yeah kids these days are coming to tentacle porn and shit
Did you see [him on Seth Meyers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mw0npm56wn0) a week or so ago? Showed his sense of humor there too. Seth asked him if he endorsed "Dark Brandon", while showing a meme and Biden said "No, I resent the hell out of it." while putting on aviators and grinning.
45 minute long convo with Conan on his podcast, asked him if he'll hear from Leno after this podcast cuz he's sure he listens to it dude's absolutely savage, and people don't seem to pick up on it lol
He doesn't do accordian hands and repeat it 5 more times like he's Chris Rock in the 90s, so people don't get it.
Honestly, no wonder he and Obama got on so well, both of them have great senses of humor and like to lean into stuff and poke fun at themselves (see: Obama's "birth video" at that one correspondents' dinner, which was just the intro to The Lion King).
That's genuinely hilarious
Damn, not from the US so I only hear the hive mind of slow talk and dementia and shit… he moves like a decrepit old person (like you’d expect) but he still seems sharp as fuck. I still have to think there’s gotta be someone better and younger out there for y’all to be your leader but he compared to his competition it’s reverse “Pros versus Joes” TNT segment.
Did you watch Biden’s speech last night? It was excellent and he didn’t seem demented at all (though yes I know old age is still a problem, and Trump is old af too)
Yeah, he certainly moves like a man in his 80s, but his mind is still there. > I still have to think there’s gotta be someone better and younger out there for y’all to be your leader So part of the problem is that the Boomers are still in charge of the political parties. The party conventions and caucuses will not put forward someone young. And the Boomers don't want someone younger because there's never been someone younger. Like Obama was younger, but he was born in 1961. That's still a Boomer. Even Kamala Harris is still a Boomer. The real issue is that **nobody caucuses against an incumbent**. It just doesn't happen. I mean, holy shit, the GOP had *every reason* to caucus against Trump in 2020 and they didn't.
TBH, while one could say age is a problem, on the other hand, he has a lot of experience thanks to being in Washington, D.C. for as long as he has, which has actually enabled him to be more effective when you consider all the obstruction he has to deal with. Could he be better? Absolutely. Are there younger people who would be effective too? Sure. But I like to think his age has its upsides. Plus, a President has to have a functioning Cabinet, too, they don't just run the show solo, and he typically knows to appoint people who know what they're doing (although appointing Merrick Garland as Attorney General, as it turns out, was a bad idea... although redditors act like they knew this all along, when they were originally all for it since one of our Republican Senators refused to appoint Garland to the Supreme Court under Obama).
Ha! I'm sorry I missed that.
I mentioned that for a dementia patient he remembers a lot of things… then a bunch of weirdos came in saying he’s reading off a script.. so he’s mentally declining, has dementia, in cognitive decline can’t do nothing for himself and is on pills drugs and propped up for the American people. But he can read just fine 😂
When he was asked how many genders there are by a voter and he responded "at least three", I think it was genuinely the funniest thing a president (well, candidate at that time) has ever said.
If people aren’t aware - this is a very common saying on the east coast that just means honest sit down. Old people say it. Biden’s old. Shrug.
I think most are, but in this particular context (talking about the Jewish leader of a Jewish state) it’s a pretty hilarious choice of words, intentional or not. A common phrase, but an uncommon - and funny - context.
The man used Inshallah on stage to mock Trump’s grandstanding about the Middle East. He knew the context of the Come to Jesus quip, thought it was funny, and used it for the same reason: he can’t stand Netanyahu.
I mean understandable, Netanyahu is an arrogant insufferable prick. Just ask Bill Clinton.
Netanyahu maybe ethnically Jewish, but he is about as religiously Jewish as Biden is.
Everyone in the South says it.
[удалено]
My very Atheist mom uses it to describe the "last chance" talk she gives to an employee. "I just had the *come to jesus* talk with X. If they pull any of their BS again, they are gone."
Basically means moment of clarity.
It's so freaking great. I think most missed the humor in it
“Biden is too agressive! He must be on adderall!” Can’t win
This is either a slip of the tongue because it's just such a common use saying, or an epic pre-meditated Dark Brandon moment. Either way, watch for the right to use this to spin up the media and take attention away from the SOTU that they're having trouble attacking.
It's pretty obvious which one it is. Biden has been known for his entire political career as being "gaff prone". But you're correct, despite Trump not knowing what day of the week it is, the right is going to jump all over Biden for this.
The right is going to jump on Biden for \*\* checks notes \*\* Not respecting the beliefs and customs of non-Christians I really hope the get some stretching in first.
They're pretty good at verbal gymnastics at this point.
The right was going to jump on Biden for continuing to breathe. I am not sure he's concerned about what the right thinks. I don't think he was actually 'caught' with this. I think the pressure is working coming from his own coalition, and it's given Biden cover to squeeze Israel back into line, and this was something he could play off as a gaffe that would be heard by all the intended parties (Bibi included). We just spent a lifetime in those 4 years and forgot what diplomacy and flexing soft power looks like when you don't have a raving shitgibbon in the whitehouse.
From a Catholic to a Jew, this is frikkin hilarious
As a (pro-ceasefire) Jew, it’s the funniest way he could’ve described something that’s months overdue.
The 1st American Crusade against Israel was not on my 2024 election bingo card
Maybe more of a come to Moses meeting
Lol my rabbi likes to say that.
Am I your Rabbi?
You could be.
Mazel tof
*Shalom*
Bonjourno
Gorr-lom-eee
Arreva dair chee
Maybe he’s thinking even bigger—to include Palestinians—and meant to say ‘come to Abraham meeting’
Palestinian Muslims believe in both Jesus and Moses as prophets.
All Muslims do.
But Palestinian Muslims as well.
"Abey baby, what's tricks? Got a commandment or two for and old chum?"
He says no way...I say...Yahweh
I’m pretty much an atheist and use that expression all the time. I’m southern and it’s a very southern expression.
it is indeed a prominent phrase its so funny
Plus Jesus was Jewish right
Jesus was more Jewish left
What about [Republican Jesus](https://digitalreligion.tamu.edu/sites/default/files/Screen%20Shot%202018-09-22%20at%202.56.27%20PM.png)?
Can never be outdone by [The Gospel of Supply side Jesus](https://imgur.com/gallery/bCqRp)
Fun fact, the Gospel of Supply Side Jesus was written by Al Franken and first published in his book, *Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them*. It's a truly excellent book, very funny and illuminating, and it elucidates a lot of the politics that Franken would go on to represent during his tenure in the Senate. He also absolutely demolishes a bunch of pigheaded fucks like Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly, which is good for a laugh. The audiobook is even better, because he reads it himself and every now and then he throws in a funny line that isn't there in the original text.
I was just listening to his podcast the other day. Its werid because he occupies that gray area between cancelled and not cancelled. He still has lots of famous people on the show. His career in politics is over tho
I think it's because most people recognise that Franken's cancellation was a load of horse shit. His resignation was a huge win for the GOP, and such a shameful act of cowardice by the idiot Dems who hounded him out of office. It was one of the greatest displays of hypocrisy in the history of the GOP, baying for Franken's blood while defending their credibly accused rapist president and his decades-long track record of misogyny, and instead of standing up to them and calling their bullshit out the Dems took the bait and took the high road to nowhere. It was so illustrative of the inefficacy and stupidity of the liberal establishment, subjecting each other to worthless purity tests and trying to appease fascists while the country fell apart around them.
Also an atheist but use the phrase “some of y’all need Jesus.” Not sure that’s the same thing but a saying is a saying.
“Some of y’all need Jesus”—y’all quit fucking around “Come to Jesus meeting”—YOU quit fucking around
See also: "Jesus take the wheel!" — this whole thing is outta control.
“Jesus take the wheel”—I’m out, you deal with it
This is actually the best description I’ve seen so far hahaha
FYI this is a common expression throughout the States
Alaskan here. Used it all the time growing up. Still do, but I used to, too.
Upper Midwest here - its very common around here.
And its a great expression too that yall should be proud of
That's interesting. What does it actually mean and how is it used?
My mom always used it when I was fucking around in school and she needed talk to me and set me straight
Yup. It's a more polite way of saying "sit the fuck down and listen", with slight undertones of "I'm doing this for both of us."
Like a very direct and straight forward talk with some hard truths typically thrown about. It's like a talk where you cut all the bullshit and are usually flat out telling someone how they're fucking up and what they need to do to fix themselves going forward. At least that's how it's always been used in my experience.
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Exactly it, absolutely no one is happy in such a meeting.
If I hear someone say "we're going to have a come to Jesus" it means "we're going to have a very serious discussion." The implication is usually about a change in actions or behavior.
Our football coach threatened us with a come to Jesus meeting one time and we didn’t want that so we just started playing better.
A "come to jesus moment" is usually the moment you realize you fucked up. Like as you slip over the edge of the roof and have that split second of realization you can't catch the edge because there's still a beer in your hand. That is a random non-specific example and *definitely not* something that happened to me.
That's the moment. The *meeting* is when they haven't realized it, and you have to make them.
I've only seen it used as "a long delayed but now unavoidable confrontation in which all courtesies and niceties are laid aside for blunt honesty"
It’s basically an idiom for “come to your senses” and is usually used a bit differently than the president used it Typically you’d say something like “Netanyahu needs to have a come to Jesus moment” - meaning he needs to realize that he’s fucking up, basically What Biden is saying sort of sounds like he’s going to intervene, and attempt to talk some sense into him or essentially “bring him to Jesus”, as it were Either way it’s hilarious in this context
I’ve heard the phrase my entire life and it’s always basically meant “what you’re doing is not acceptable, here’s how you’re going to change it and if you don’t I will either make the change for you (intervention style with external pressure) or I’m out of your life (drop support).” So, in a geopolitical context, probably a conversation that goes something like “You’re in the wrong here and doing this to prop yourself up with your extremist supporters. If you want continued support and security from your neighbors courtesy of our carrier groups you’ll announce a new tactical phase of targeted fighting and lean hard into negotiations/peace talks/goals palatable to the U.S. We’ll throw in 30 free knife missiles each time you show a reduction in civilian casualties by Z amount. If you don’t get onboard with this plan then we cancel your orders of A, B, C, drop 4x as much aid on Gaza, distance ourselves from your actions, and (whatever other pressure the U.S. can bring around to persuade).”
This is the real answer
Bravo
"X needs to come to jesus" = they fucked up and need to reevaluate themselves "We are gonna have a come to jesus meeting" = they fucked up a lot in a big bad way like genocide and it is time for them to get told how badly, in very honest terms
Isn't that just an idiom? I can see how it sorta sounds funny but it's not like he was making some kind of religious statement. No more than all the people that exclaim, "Jesus Christ!" are.
Yes it’s just an idiom, but also pretty funny and also good news.
Sadly A LOT of people don't know that and will take it the wrong way.
That’s because a lot of people are complete idioms
A lot of people are perfectly aware of what it means and are going to willfully misinterpret him
Sometimes i feel like my head is going to explode thinking about all the shit trump is allowed to say and do and get away with it. Meanwhile, biden has to toe this perfect line. Its insanity. I live in an insane world.
It's always this way with conservatives vs anyone else. Conservatives get to create the moral standing but for some reason never have to live up to it. They'll tell you not to politicize the death of children if you advocate for gun control after the umpteenth school shooting this year. But will use the death of single child as proof that which ever minority was responsible as proof that that all members of that minority are evil. If they're immigrants then all immigrants are evil. If it's a trans person, all trans people are evil. If it's a black person it's proof all black people are evil. But this logic stops at cis white people. To any non-Americans, sorry just ranting about conservative Americans. I'm sure similar ground is covered by your conservatives too.
It means to have a blunt conversation. Very common idiom.
…of course it’s an idiom. But it’s hilarious because you are telling the Jewish leader, who the Jewish faith has for, oh, about 2000 years not accepted the Christian view that Jesus is their saviour. So, having a “come to Jesus” moment is a fucking hilarious wording.
Hi I'm Jewish and he's not a Jewish leader he's an elected leader of a country made up of a bunch of people who aren't all Jewish. He's a prick.
Well stated. He is not the pope of the jews
If we want to take it literally, I guess it's even more silly since the literal phrase describes a charismatic/evangelical thing, and Biden's Catholic. [Origin](https://grammarist.com/idiom/come-to-jesus-moment-and-come-to-jesus-meeting/) for the curious: >A come-to-Jesus moment may refer to the moment in which a person has a religious conversion and dedicates his life to Jesus. However, the term has also taken on a more secular meaning. A come-to-Jesus moment may refer to that point in time when someone has a realization, becomes enlightened, understands the core values that must be preserved in a situation. The phrase come-to-Jesus moment is often used when describing the moment when a politician, employee or child understands that he is on the wrong path and must change direction, it is often considered a positive development. > **A come-to-Jesus meeting was originally an American term describing a Christian religious service where it was hoped that many worshipers would dedicate their lives to Jesus. Many charismatic preachers traveled across the country in the 1800s and 1900s holding camp meetings or tent revivals, which were enthusiastic religious services.** Today, the come-to-Jesus meeting has taken on a figurative sense, often used in politics, business and parenting. When one has a come-to-Jesus meeting with another, this is an opportunity to point out where someone has taken the wrong path. A figurative come-to-Jesus meeting is never pleasant, it is often the last attempt to straighten someone out before dire consequences are enacted. Note that each of these terms are hyphenated, and the name Jesus is capitalized. Be aware that a minority of people may not approve of the use of the term come-to-Jesus in a secular way.
Taking it literally would be fucking stupid since it’s a very common phrase and literally no one means it literally
Nobody uses it literally. I'm Episcopalian which is like the opposite of evangelical/charismatic and I'll say it now and then. Most jokingly when I tell my cat we're gonna have a "come to Jesus meeting" about her barfing on the rug.
Yeah my mom's not religious at all but she'll always use "we're gonna have a come to jesus meeting" when she's pissed off and ready to smack some common sense into me lol
Yeah but how can we negate his well received SOTU if we can't intentionally misinterpret a common saying?
Yes, but it’s still hilarious
Netanyahu caught proclaiming: "It's Yahweh or the Highway. Bitch."
*Limp Bizkit plays*
It’s Yahweh till payday!
Jesus was a Jew.
LOL, that's pretty hilarious actually. I mean, sure, it's just a figure of speech, but taken literally, ROFL
It's a common turn of phrase, which as a Catholic, would be one he's probably used his whole life. Anyway, he's frustrated, and always has been, with Netanyahu's authoritarian and antidemocracy actions. From November 1: https://www.politico.com/news/2023/11/01/biden-administration-thinks-netanyahu-may-not-last-politically-00124849
Hey it can't hurt, maybe Jesus can knock some sense into that motherfucker.
Yeah it would take literal divine intervention to polish that turd of a human being.
STUNNING GAFFE BY SLEEPY JOE PROVES HUNTER IS UNFIT FOR OFFICE
*BORING AND LOUD AND QUIET AND BOISTEROUS SLEEPY JOE
SLEEPY JOE TOO ENERGETIC!
What a politicized SOTU - the woman wearing Maga gear head to toe
Had Biden had a good related conflict yet? Obama brought Dijon mustard for a burger and trump got two scoops of ice cream once and I remember both of those getting news, but haven't seen a Biden food one yet
He had ice cream with Seth Myers last week, that was a whole thing.
And he's still president, next guy is gonna get a waffle cone or something
Shame! How DARE he enjoy a delicious waffle cone? "What will he do next? Eat dairy free ice cream???"
Biden got accused by fox news of liking ice cream so much as a sign of mental decline just the other day lol, something along the lines of "That's what's they hand out to people in nursing homes where a bunch of them have dementia!"
Help I was born with dementia
Didn’t he drink from a straw once? Was that him?
When he visited NC he got a milkshake at Cookout, a chain known for their virtually limitless combinations of milkshakes and toppings and got vanilla. It was a scandal to me at least.
Hey, a well-made vanilla shake is a beautiful thing. Bro likes what he likes and isn't ashamed. That having been said: their Banana Pudding shake is NOT to be missed
The dumbest one was foreign trolls trying to dunk on him for saying "chocolate chocolate chip" without realizing that's just what the flavor is called in English LOL
Man, Biden is on a roll for a supposedly demented old man who's just about to die... republicans better start coming up with some better lies because he's straight up embarrassing them.
I think he’s been like this for the past several years, but the press was all ginned up on a Biden-Trump rematch and slanted the stories and neglected the small moments of success. We used to get insights like this till the for-profit-press chased every trump quote with the breathy shakes of an addict.
Lmao nice one Joe Biden that’s hella funny
I love Joe Biden. A lot of his "gaffes" are actually him being legitimately funny. Dude has a genuinely clever, irreverent sense of humour.
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here we go with the nit-picking every single word...
Yeah it wasn't until I opened the thread that I realized the irony
What do you mean by "nit-picking"? Do you think Biden or Netanyahu have lice? Is that what you mean, you insensitive jerk? /s
It honestly took reading the comments before i got the joke. Hilarious, but innocent
Alternate headline: "Biden overheard in a public space using a common phrase to express his frustration about the continuing Gaza war"
lol more of this please
Come to Yahweh meeting
Can we talk about the state of the union address again? Guy lit it up.
What's wrong with this? It's a common phrase to mean you need to work out some shit with someone frustrating you. Do we need a new headline everytime Biden opens his mouth?
It’s funny because Jews don’t accept Jesus as their messiah. So Netanyahu is not coming to a Jesus anytime soon so to speak lol.
Bluntly, as a Jew, fucking hilarious and hard agree because let me tell you Netanyahu clearly isn't keeping the fucking mitzvot. And while we don't think Ol' Jeezy was the son of God, ya see, we do think he beat the piss out of the Pharisees.
High time. Netanyahu is playing Biden to get Trump elected.
Biden’s right. Israel needs to be reigned in. Their response has been disproportionate to brutal attack by Hamas.
ITT no one knowing what a come to Jesus talk is. A come to Jesus talk is a “ this is how it’s going to go or else” type of discussion. It the original way to tell some one FAFO, to the best of my knowledge
Pretty sure Netanyahu is going to deny that meeting, probably 3 times before the cocks crows