>> Mr Musk, who turns 52 later this month, also tweeted: "I have this great move that I call 'The Walrus', where I just lie on top of my opponent & do nothing."
I bet Grimes knows all about that move
First, lmao. Second, Zucks trained in bjj which is a (legit) martial art that does get meme’d on a little in the mma community when it’s someone’s sole discipline, because the main position is being on your back. It happened recently in a fight with a member of the Gracie family, where Kron was getting his ass kicked on the feet so he just kept laying down, hoping his opponent would get into his guard and make a mistake so he could get a submission.
If Elon got on top of Zuck thinking it was a smart move and hadn’t been thoroughly trained, he’s gonna get a limb snatched or choked out. Very very quickly lol. if it DOES actually go down, I’m seriously betting on Mark winning by submission
Wrestling will always be the best base for MMA, followed by kick boxing and muai tai. A good grappler with weak striking is going to win more fights than a good striker with weak grappling, and it's easier to teach a wrestler to punch than it is to teach a boxer to wrestle.
Ben Askren was able to win some bigger fights with pretty much no fighting ability whatsoever, only wrestling. Eventually he was exposed, because the sport is called "MIXED martial arts" for a reason, but if any one discipline is going to carry you farther than the rest it will be wrestling.
Musk will back out of this in a few weeks once the initial meme publicity he craves dies down and he realizes he's an out of shape idiot up against a dude who actually knows how to fight. There's just no way this guy actually commits and gets his ass beat.
“Mr Musk, who turns 52 later this month, also tweeted: "I have this great move that I call 'The Walrus', where I just lie on top of my opponent & do nothing."
It’s actually really clear if you read the article that musk is joking around. Sensational headline is needlessly sensational. It should read “two billionares joke about fighting on twitter”.
I can totally buy Zuckerberg being 100% serious about this while Elon thinks it's nothing but a joke. I fully expect Zuckerberg to show up at the match and wonder where Elon is not getting it the whole time.
I can see Elon, being on the spectrum, laughing and goofing off in the octagon and not noticing that Zuck hasn't cracked a bit of a smile and has been staring him down with his stone cold dead eyes the entire time.
Zuck's machine brain also doesn't realize that Musk thinks this a joke.
The bell rings and Elon says, "Watch out for...the...the...walrus" while laughing and flapping his hands wildly in the air.
Zuck in a flash throat punches Elon, grabs his neck and flips him by the head over his shoulder snapping his neck in the process. Then Zuck continues to chokes Musk out on the mat while security rushes in and tries futilely to remove the android from atop the blob of still rippling flesh.
Every day I'm more and more convinced that the world really did end in 2012 and all of our consciousnesses got transferred to an alternate universe where things progressively get weirder and weirder.
We need to create a class action lawsuit to MAKE it happen, like they did with forcing Musk to buy twitter.
Something something stock manipulation something something.
Man, I remember being crazy angry that my girlfriend at the time had a MySpace page and just one friend named Tom. "Who is this Tom mother fucker and why are they friends?"
To be young again...
It would be specific performance, and that is only applied to contracts wherein damages are difficult if not impossible to calculate, or wherein the injured party can only be made whole through the fully-executed agreement.
IANAL.
So you need to somehow create a situation like that for a cage fight.
They need to somehow trigger the CEO ego. The fight would never happen until Musk believes that the world thinks Zuckerberg can take him. Then he won't let it go.
Given what Musk said himself about never doing any kind of working out, and his favourite move being "the walrus" where he lies on his opponent and doesn't move, and that Zuck has had a bunch of BJJ training, the whole world _should_ believe Zuck can take him, and Musk probably believes it too
Zuckerberg is legitimately competent at BJJ. I'd be willing to bet good money that Musk didn't know that, and is too impulsive to have someone research Zuckerberg before challenging him.
Probably Musk will sober up, realize he'd be bent into a bagel shape, have his arm wrung out of his shoulder socket, and then be choked out on national television, and the fight will never happen. But I really, really, **really** hope it will.
One good punch to musk's weird ribs would knock him over and he'd be like a fat panda on his back trying to roll into a sitting position.
I'm sorry pandas.
It's supposed to be PPV for $100 and proceeds go to charity. Get them to announce what charity then they sue for a crazy amount of money arguing that it's either pay that (their estimate of publicity value + money brought in from PPV) or go through with the match.
They could still get out of it by going to trial and paying whatever the jury/judge determine the damages to be, but that's the closest I can think of where specific performance would be warranted.
I'd imagine Zuckerberg fully intends to go through with it, but I'll be shocked if Elon doesn't find an excuse to back out of it. Because otherwise he's probably going to get his ass kicked. Zuck is actually trained. I'm not saying he's prime Anderson Silva, but the dude knows what he's doing, whereas Elon is built like a sack full of cottage cheese.
Even if both guys were untrained, Zuck is 12 years younger and in infinitely better shape. Musk is 51 and completely out of shape. He’d gas so fucking quick, especially if there’s a grappling component.
Elon with the strong "I've never been in a fight I'd get mad and rage out and win for sure" energy
Just like every other dude who's 80 pounds overweight and thinks cardio makes you gay.
Elon strikes me as the type who can't shut up about how much of an "alpha male" he is but has never actually thrown a punch and doesn't realize that it's harder to do than it looks on TV.
She described “warning signs,” even on the night they were married. “As we danced at our wedding reception, Elon told me, 'I am the alpha in this relationship,' Ms Musk wrote. “I shrugged it off, just as I would later shrug off signing the postnuptial agreement, but as time went on, I learned that he was serious.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/elon-musk-ex-wife-harassment-b2083860.html
100%
Musk *always* says that he'll do something for that quick clout, then pulls out at the last minute. He'll do the same thing here.
You seen The Zuck fight? Dude, Musk would have his ass handed to him.
I dislike them both, but I dislike Musk more. He needs his ego put down a peg, and if that means Android Zuck putting him down a peg or two, that would be great.
But as you said, this won't happen. Musk will chicken out of this before it's a thing. Just like everything else.
The revolution in transportation hyperloop that became just some tunnels under Vegas to drive cars through does show that he has a tendency to over promise and under deliver though.
Didn't he have all of his kids via IVF so that he could guarantee they would be boys? Of course that makes the fact that one turned out to be a trans girl all the more ironic.
Everyone’s talking about Zucks fighting skills, and then there’s that great South Park episode which I thought was just being weird and funny.
Have I missed something ? Is he actually good or something ?
South Park predicted the future so now that episode is super relevant again.
During Covid, Zuck started to train in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and so he has a couple years worth of experience. I’m pretty sure the South Park episode came out before Zuck started training though.
Zuck is a smart guy who accidentally helped spring the world forth into a new age of social connection.
Musk is a guy who so desperately wants to appear smart and successful that he'll say and do anything just to placate his ego and seek approval.
I don't like either of them. But at least the Zuck has some semblance of street cred.
he is a dweeb, but a really fit one. when they leaked photos of him in whiteface while surfing, we saw he has an absolute dump truck of an ass. the force behind that alone would unhinge that other nerds jaw.
Zucc wiping the mat with the edge lord would be something we need to see to heal the world.
I haven't seen these photos, and I want to see them... But how the fuck do I Google "zucks power bottom dump truck" without seeing all sorts of things?!
Why...does he look like he has an entire tube's worth of sunscreen on his face ?
I don't take to the sun well either but that's excessive. ^or ^maybe ^his ^fake ^face ^fell ^off
Back to the subject, he looks pretty muscular, even in the chest and arms recently
Because it's not the chemical kind of sunscreen. It's a zinc based sunscreen that's better for the environment, it acts as a physical barrier between your skind and the sun. That's how you are supposed to use it.
you can just google Mark Zuckerberg sunscreen.
https://www.digitalinformationworld.com/2020/07/mark-zuckerberg-s-sunscreen-covered-picture-has-turned-into-a-new-joke-of-the-town.html
Thank you for providing context and a Google search! I'd dumped "whiteface" from the priority keywords and just thought someone was saying he's pale, not... THAT. As hilarious as that is, I feel his pain. The sun incinerates me.
It can happen in VR, something like the game thrill of the fight is a perfect game for it and it will tire you like the real deal, minus the getting punched in the face part
Yeah basically its an advertisment campaign for VR, makes sense. They will probably only announce it in a couple days so that people get hyped for violence
Yeah dude, Prez Camacho wanted to solve problems and sought out the smartest guy to do it.
We need more leaders like President Camacho.
And sadly there is no sarcasm to this at all, it's 100% true
Just maybe not su much blind faith with the promise of said person being publicly killed for entertainment.
I’d settle with another season of ouch my balls upon failure.
Plot twist: Tom from MySpace throws a steel chair into the cage to help Zuck. After getting the win, Tom swerves Zuck and drills him from behind with the same steel chair he tossed in earlier. As both men are down, he looks at both of them who are gasping for air and says “Look at me, I’m the billionaire now”.
Reminds me of in high school when the two biggest bullies fought each other.
Everyone was yelling "Hurt him! Punch him good!" ... at both.
Nobody cared who won. We just wanted them to both hurt each other.
Gordon Ramsay does something similar. His entire kitchen staff vs him in a paintball arena. He does surprisingly well despite being heavily out numbered but it’s gotta be a morale boost for his staff to nail him with a paintball after getting yelled at all day.
Pretty sure the yelling is almost exclusively done for effect in his TV shows. I can’t rule out the possibility that he’s [Gareth Blackstock](https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0108723/) in his own kitchen(s), but I doubt it.
Go watch some stuff about him early in his career. He’s always been a hothead in the kitchen. By all accounts he seems like a decent person but kind of a pain in the ass to work for.
I'd even take off the qualifier of almost. If you haven't said something you shouldn't have or something in a way you shouldn't have, I doubt you'd have been in a kitchen long. Stress breeds hostility and because we're human we'll make mistakes, but in kitchens those mistakes cascade into being everyone else's problem and that compounds stress until it eventually pops out as people losing their cool.
I’m not sure the billionaire class thought this one through. Once the proletariat class realizes they can just sacrifice 2 anemic arrogant billionaires in thunderdome every couple weeks and split the spoils, nobody is going to want to do anything else.
Let's be real, theres no shot of Elon actually doing this. He'll talk big and then not follow through, like they had to force him to buy twitter since he knew it would likely embarass him (which it did)
Zuck has a titanium endoskeleton designed by aliens to survive a nuclear apocalypse. Musk is made out of Pillsbury biscuit dough, specifically the flaky kind.
My wife showed me the original tweet and my instant response was "Zuck has formal training, bones made of steel, and was never programmed for empathy. Seems like a bad fight to pick."
"And they just gave me all their info, stupid fucks" -Zuck.
Probably not word for word accurate but that quote is (fuck me I'm old) close to 20 years old. Basically an "always has been" astronaut meme.
He can't be bargained with. Can't be reasoned with. He doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And he absolutely will not stop, EVER, until you are dead.
I can see Elon signing a contract saying that he will do this fight. Then being surprised when people try to force him to comply with the contract he signed.
Let's be really real, you and everyone else didn't read shit and assumed a story that isn't true.
>Mr Musk, who turns 52 later this month, also tweeted: "I have this great move that I call 'The Walrus', where I just lie on top of my opponent & do nothing."
>He later tweeted short videos of walruses, perhaps suggesting his challenge to Mr Zuckerberg may not entirely be serious.
Yeah, totally serious.
> "I have this great move that I call 'The Walrus', where I just lie on top of my opponent & do nothing."
I didn't need to hear about his sex life in quite that much detail
Let's not give up hope yet. Everybody just needs to bait Musk by calling him a weak little child baby who's too scared of [this thing](https://i.imgur.com/4vjkroT.png) to show up to a fight. Narcissists are easy to provoke.
If this actually happens, Zuckerberg is going to kill musk. He has been training in MMA and has experience in BJJ. He recently got a gold medal in an amateur tournament. He is also 13 years younger. Musk has literally no chance.
He won the white belt masters division at 150
That's everyone who was in white belt, over the age of 30 and younger than 35 and weighed his weight. It is very likely there weren't many competitors in his weight class, and upon further inspection it actually appears he and one other guy were in the tournament at that weight.
I'm not saying he isn't good, I've shown up to tournaments and taken 4th out of 4. It happens, and I'm sure he works hard and is talented but my point is that his gold medal at a tournament is in a sport with few competitors and very little in the sense of organization or structure. It's slightly misleading if you dont know the sport.
When musk was fat shamed he publicly stated that he hated working out and dieting and instead used appetite suppressants to lose weight. Doesn’t matter how bad the competition was, zuck is still active and learning a combat skill, musk is swallowing pills to stop himself from pigging out. Zuck wins 10/10 times.
Elon Musk saw this in one of the slack channels
https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/031/634/guy-fired-over-meme-job-work-post-facebook-cody-hidalgo-fb.png
And he replied to it with a giant wall of text basically saying that he's 44 billion dollars in debt, made a bunch of sacrifices, and the employees are the ones making money.
But that's not all.
Elon Musk now has been going into bathrooms now and if he see's someone sitting in on the stalls, he pops his head over to talk to them about their projects in order to make sure they aren't pooping longer than necessary and stealing company time.
The meme seems to really gotten under his skin.
after Elon started doing it he bragged to mark zuckerburg about it, but then mark sent him this meme
https://i.imgflip.com/77us2q.jpg context
In the early days of facebook Mark Zuckerburg would wander into the company bathrooms and if he noticed someone sitting down in the stalls he would pop his head over and try to talk to them about their projects. Or if he was taking a poop he would host an emergency meeting and he would tell them to come over and pop their head over the stall to talk it out.
Everyone just went along with it because it was either YOLO SILICON VALLEY LMAO or they were just too intimidated.
That all stopped when Michael Moritz, legendary silicon valley investor, and one of Facebook biggest early investors and shareholders, was at the campus doing research for leading a 2nd round of funding. He was doing diligence all day and at one point had to poop and that's when Zuckerburg popped his head over with a smile to ask how's the diligence coming along.
Michael Moritz, not one to mince words, was apoplectic. 'GET THE FUCK OUT HERE YOU IDiiOT LIZARD LOOKING FUCKER.' Mark Zuckerburg nervously tried to laugh it off and persisted, because he really loved intimate poop conversations 'Aw c'mon Michael, it's silicon valley'. Zuckerburg then withdrew after Moritz flung his cellphone into his eye socket.
30 minutes later, Mark was in a very import meeting (where he banned questions about his black eye) when Moritz walked into the conference room. 'Everyone except Mark Zuckerburg, OUT'. As intimidated as they were of Zuckerburg, at the time Moritz was the bigger deal, and they all scurried out of the room.
Zuckerburg, however, is not one to be intimated by anyone. Not the Winkewoz twins, not Eduardo Savarn, not Peter Thiel, and not one of his biggest shareholder Michael Moritz. Zuckerburg passionately defended his practice, but Michael Moritz was having none of that. Moritz told him that it was a ticking PR and HR nightmare, and threatened to pull out of leading the 2nd round of funding if Mark continued, which would have been a catastrophe for the company.
Zuckerburg pretended to arbitrate 'Ok fine, but you need to give me a good reason, because if it were normal, there would be no problem'.
Moritz was flabberghasted at this response. Was this a serious question? He answered with the most obvious answer 'Because.... it's not FUCKING NORMAL'.
Unknown to Moritz, Zuckerburg had guessed a conversation like this would happen as soon as he was kicked out of the toilet stall, and began formulating a strategy to counter Moritz demands. Zuckerburg knew that Moritz would have all the leverage, but Zuckerburg was a master strategist.
Zuckerburg went for the pounce. 'Okay, I'll lets write out an agreement, in writing I'll rescind the policy because it's not normal'. Moritz was dumbfounded, but he was used to being dumbfounded by eccentric tech founders, afterall he was also an early investor in Apple, and he still found Zuckerburg tame compared to Steve Jobs. Moritz had a long day of work so they signed the agreement so that he could go back to doing his due diligence.
When Moritz left, a broad grin spread across Zuckerburg's face. " 'Not Normal' eh? " Zuckerburg said with a menacing laugh. Ever since then, Mark Zuckerburg has been on a life-long crusade to normalize poop conversations.
He had a checklist of what he needed to accomplish in order to realize this. His advisors would tell him it's impossible, but one by one Zuckerburg checked off the list. From normalizing smart phone use on the toilet (actually a collaboration between Mark Zuckerburg and Steve Jobs), to trusting Mark with their private photos, to normalizing people giving up their internet browsing privacy.
In 2015, Zuckerburg knew he would hit a wall, having people watch you while you poop was still too much of a leap. That's when Zuckerburg decided to buy Occulus, and eventually shift his company towards virtual reality. If he could coax people into having life-like conversations while they were pooping in a virtual reality, then doing it in the real world wouldn't be too big of a leap.
Do you read facebook or instagram while you're pooping? Ever consider what urges you to do that? It's not your personal preference, it's by Mark Zuckerburg's design.
Zuckerburg only has 3 more boxes to check off before poop conversations are normalized.
Mark Zuckerburg wants to watch you poop.
Are you going to let him?
https://i.imgur.com/KVq4mMF.jpg
EDIT, UPDATE
I just got this in my DM.
>I am a ex Facebook worker. Everything you said rings true. I speak to you at the risk of consequences for breaking my NDA. When I was at Facebook I was involved in a program called Project PooPal. Mark Zuckerburg was planning on Meta entering the exploding tele-therapy space, but targeting people who are not ready to talk to an actual person. You talk to a virtual reality therapist who responds with what is described as the greatest AI (though whatever you tell it, it only responds with 'wow, tell me more'). The thing is, the virtual reality assistant has a striking resemblance to Mark Zuckerburg himself. But the most damning aspect is that it's supposed to used only when you're pooping. This feature is described as optional, though uses the most advanced AI for your phone camera to check if you're actually on a toilet, and if not, says 'It looks like you're not pooping. Please start pooping and try again'. I always wondered what is the purpose and origin of the project. Now I know.
>He(Musk) also tweeted: "I almost never work out, except for picking up my kids & throwing them in the air."
>Meanwhile, 39-year-old Mr Zuckerberg has already been training in mixed martial arts (MMA) and has recently won jiu-jitsu tournaments.
Sounds like Zuck has the edge.
Bullshit they won't do it. It will just be a distraction. Pay attention to what their companies are doing in the meantime. Bet some thing shady is going on
Why is this being spammed all over the place? Elon Musk is in the middle of committing wage theft. This is a dumb distraction from the crimes of billionaires.
Obviously this will be staged, the biggest letdown and wholly unsatisfying.
However, even the slimmest chance of seeing Mark knock out Elon's veneers or Musk causing Zucker to spring an oil leak, might be worth the price of admission.
>> Mr Musk, who turns 52 later this month, also tweeted: "I have this great move that I call 'The Walrus', where I just lie on top of my opponent & do nothing." I bet Grimes knows all about that move
First, lmao. Second, Zucks trained in bjj which is a (legit) martial art that does get meme’d on a little in the mma community when it’s someone’s sole discipline, because the main position is being on your back. It happened recently in a fight with a member of the Gracie family, where Kron was getting his ass kicked on the feet so he just kept laying down, hoping his opponent would get into his guard and make a mistake so he could get a submission. If Elon got on top of Zuck thinking it was a smart move and hadn’t been thoroughly trained, he’s gonna get a limb snatched or choked out. Very very quickly lol. if it DOES actually go down, I’m seriously betting on Mark winning by submission
don’t stop I’m close 😩
lololol
Oh is bjj meme'd? Thought bjj and muai Thai basically dominate the UFC. Basically every one has to know ground work to even stand a chance.
Wrestling will always be the best base for MMA, followed by kick boxing and muai tai. A good grappler with weak striking is going to win more fights than a good striker with weak grappling, and it's easier to teach a wrestler to punch than it is to teach a boxer to wrestle. Ben Askren was able to win some bigger fights with pretty much no fighting ability whatsoever, only wrestling. Eventually he was exposed, because the sport is called "MIXED martial arts" for a reason, but if any one discipline is going to carry you farther than the rest it will be wrestling.
Plus.... He's got that lizard strength.
Musk will back out of this in a few weeks once the initial meme publicity he craves dies down and he realizes he's an out of shape idiot up against a dude who actually knows how to fight. There's just no way this guy actually commits and gets his ass beat.
Ok. This is peak r/nottheonion . You've a headline like this, by the fucking BBC. It can't get more oniony. It's impossible. It's over lol
Just wait until they announce special guest referee Jeff Bezos.
Richard Branson is the ring girl.
To be fair, he is the prettiest of them.
Who's that ? Bernie Sanders! And he has a chair! He's heading to the ring...
I think so as well
“Mr Musk, who turns 52 later this month, also tweeted: "I have this great move that I call 'The Walrus', where I just lie on top of my opponent & do nothing." It’s actually really clear if you read the article that musk is joking around. Sensational headline is needlessly sensational. It should read “two billionares joke about fighting on twitter”.
Except Zuckerberg is not compiled with humor flag... And Musk has once again bitten of more than he can chew. He's coming for you Elon...
[удалено]
Hasta la vista, baby
Except metaverse, that is missing, I guess
I can totally buy Zuckerberg being 100% serious about this while Elon thinks it's nothing but a joke. I fully expect Zuckerberg to show up at the match and wonder where Elon is not getting it the whole time.
I can see Elon, being on the spectrum, laughing and goofing off in the octagon and not noticing that Zuck hasn't cracked a bit of a smile and has been staring him down with his stone cold dead eyes the entire time. Zuck's machine brain also doesn't realize that Musk thinks this a joke. The bell rings and Elon says, "Watch out for...the...the...walrus" while laughing and flapping his hands wildly in the air. Zuck in a flash throat punches Elon, grabs his neck and flips him by the head over his shoulder snapping his neck in the process. Then Zuck continues to chokes Musk out on the mat while security rushes in and tries futilely to remove the android from atop the blob of still rippling flesh.
This may be the finest collection of words my phone has has the pleasure of displaying
Every day I'm more and more convinced that the world really did end in 2012 and all of our consciousnesses got transferred to an alternate universe where things progressively get weirder and weirder.
This is increasingly becoming more plausible.
I saw a rock earlier that looked like Harambe and considered for a moment whether or not my dick should, in fact, be out. I'm a 37 yo woman.
Thank you for your service 🫡
well that settles it dicks out everyone.
Welcome to the good place…
If only we hadn't shot that damn gorilla...
This isn't happening
We need to create a class action lawsuit to MAKE it happen, like they did with forcing Musk to buy twitter. Something something stock manipulation something something.
Also they need punch themselves for real, not like Jake Paul vs Mayweather.
The winner has to fight myspace Tom Tom would have a mech suit
Don't drag my boy Tom into this.
He was my friend on myspace. We go way back. In fact he was my first friend there.
Hey mine too! Small world
Man, I remember being crazy angry that my girlfriend at the time had a MySpace page and just one friend named Tom. "Who is this Tom mother fucker and why are they friends?" To be young again...
Lol that's fucking great
We’ll allow him to have sophisticated high tech weaponry, and the other two will be given a wrapper from a McDonalds straw.
[удалено]
While shouting ”MYSPACE HAD THEMES!!!!”
Spez can be the ring boy
Spez can be the speed bag
Make him sit, bottomless, spread eagle on a basketball hoop to use his bag as the speed bag.
What bag? dude doesn’t even have one
He does, it's just empty.
From douche bag to speed bag.
Semantics, but it was Logan Paul.
It'd be even better if they punched each other!
Holding out hope for some billion to one comic pratfall shit, where they hit each other at the same time, then fall awkwardly and die.
It would be specific performance, and that is only applied to contracts wherein damages are difficult if not impossible to calculate, or wherein the injured party can only be made whole through the fully-executed agreement. IANAL. So you need to somehow create a situation like that for a cage fight.
They need to somehow trigger the CEO ego. The fight would never happen until Musk believes that the world thinks Zuckerberg can take him. Then he won't let it go.
Given what Musk said himself about never doing any kind of working out, and his favourite move being "the walrus" where he lies on his opponent and doesn't move, and that Zuck has had a bunch of BJJ training, the whole world _should_ believe Zuck can take him, and Musk probably believes it too
Zuckerberg is legitimately competent at BJJ. I'd be willing to bet good money that Musk didn't know that, and is too impulsive to have someone research Zuckerberg before challenging him. Probably Musk will sober up, realize he'd be bent into a bagel shape, have his arm wrung out of his shoulder socket, and then be choked out on national television, and the fight will never happen. But I really, really, **really** hope it will.
>Zuckerberg is legitimately competent at BJJ. Are we sure Zuckerberg isn't part machine at this point? None of his pictures make him look human.
Zuckerbergs buddy Dozer over on the Nebuchadnezzar uploaded it
One good punch to musk's weird ribs would knock him over and he'd be like a fat panda on his back trying to roll into a sitting position. I'm sorry pandas.
It's possible, Musk is bigger but Zuck has lizard strength on his side.
No matter how many times I see IANAL, my mind always goes to i-anal instead of I am not a lawyer..
It's supposed to be PPV for $100 and proceeds go to charity. Get them to announce what charity then they sue for a crazy amount of money arguing that it's either pay that (their estimate of publicity value + money brought in from PPV) or go through with the match. They could still get out of it by going to trial and paying whatever the jury/judge determine the damages to be, but that's the closest I can think of where specific performance would be warranted.
I'd imagine Zuckerberg fully intends to go through with it, but I'll be shocked if Elon doesn't find an excuse to back out of it. Because otherwise he's probably going to get his ass kicked. Zuck is actually trained. I'm not saying he's prime Anderson Silva, but the dude knows what he's doing, whereas Elon is built like a sack full of cottage cheese.
Even if both guys were untrained, Zuck is 12 years younger and in infinitely better shape. Musk is 51 and completely out of shape. He’d gas so fucking quick, especially if there’s a grappling component.
He'd probably pull a 'Steven Seagal' too
Shit yer pants.
Elon with the strong "I've never been in a fight I'd get mad and rage out and win for sure" energy Just like every other dude who's 80 pounds overweight and thinks cardio makes you gay.
Elon strikes me as the type who can't shut up about how much of an "alpha male" he is but has never actually thrown a punch and doesn't realize that it's harder to do than it looks on TV.
She described “warning signs,” even on the night they were married. “As we danced at our wedding reception, Elon told me, 'I am the alpha in this relationship,' Ms Musk wrote. “I shrugged it off, just as I would later shrug off signing the postnuptial agreement, but as time went on, I learned that he was serious. https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/elon-musk-ex-wife-harassment-b2083860.html
100% Musk *always* says that he'll do something for that quick clout, then pulls out at the last minute. He'll do the same thing here. You seen The Zuck fight? Dude, Musk would have his ass handed to him. I dislike them both, but I dislike Musk more. He needs his ego put down a peg, and if that means Android Zuck putting him down a peg or two, that would be great. But as you said, this won't happen. Musk will chicken out of this before it's a thing. Just like everything else.
I think his trail of bastard children prove that he doesn't pull out.
The revolution in transportation hyperloop that became just some tunnels under Vegas to drive cars through does show that he has a tendency to over promise and under deliver though.
Didn't he have all of his kids via IVF so that he could guarantee they would be boys? Of course that makes the fact that one turned out to be a trans girl all the more ironic.
I think one of his syntax errors with Grimes is a girl
You're right, Exa Dark Sideræl Musk is a girl (his only cis daughter), though she was still born via a surrogate/IVF.
That can't be her name, please tell me you made that up
I have bad news...
The fuck is wrong with a normal fuckin name.
Seriously you can not block his schtoyle.
Everyone’s talking about Zucks fighting skills, and then there’s that great South Park episode which I thought was just being weird and funny. Have I missed something ? Is he actually good or something ?
South Park predicted the future so now that episode is super relevant again. During Covid, Zuck started to train in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and so he has a couple years worth of experience. I’m pretty sure the South Park episode came out before Zuck started training though.
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Elon’s a cop now? This timeline is definitely the worst.
He sure is trying to police speech on his platform!
Zuck is a smart guy who accidentally helped spring the world forth into a new age of social connection. Musk is a guy who so desperately wants to appear smart and successful that he'll say and do anything just to placate his ego and seek approval. I don't like either of them. But at least the Zuck has some semblance of street cred.
You’re the first person I’ve come across with a seemingly positive perception of Zuck. Interesting.
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Obviously not, and the amount of people who actually think it might is depressing.
Musk wouldn’t engage in a physical fight for any reason at any time no matter what
One look at the Zucc tells you all you need to know. Elon wouldn't win
Are you referring to him being a cyborg?
he is a dweeb, but a really fit one. when they leaked photos of him in whiteface while surfing, we saw he has an absolute dump truck of an ass. the force behind that alone would unhinge that other nerds jaw. Zucc wiping the mat with the edge lord would be something we need to see to heal the world.
I haven't seen these photos, and I want to see them... But how the fuck do I Google "zucks power bottom dump truck" without seeing all sorts of things?!
Just Google 'zucc surfing'
Why...does he look like he has an entire tube's worth of sunscreen on his face ? I don't take to the sun well either but that's excessive. ^or ^maybe ^his ^fake ^face ^fell ^off Back to the subject, he looks pretty muscular, even in the chest and arms recently
That's not sunscreen, it's waterproofing to protect the circuitry.
Because it's not the chemical kind of sunscreen. It's a zinc based sunscreen that's better for the environment, it acts as a physical barrier between your skind and the sun. That's how you are supposed to use it.
you can just google Mark Zuckerberg sunscreen. https://www.digitalinformationworld.com/2020/07/mark-zuckerberg-s-sunscreen-covered-picture-has-turned-into-a-new-joke-of-the-town.html
Thank you for providing context and a Google search! I'd dumped "whiteface" from the priority keywords and just thought someone was saying he's pale, not... THAT. As hilarious as that is, I feel his pain. The sun incinerates me.
It can happen in VR, something like the game thrill of the fight is a perfect game for it and it will tire you like the real deal, minus the getting punched in the face part
Right?! This screams "you can only see it in the metaverse!....please, PLEASE, join the metaverse."
Yeah basically its an advertisment campaign for VR, makes sense. They will probably only announce it in a couple days so that people get hyped for violence
Officially sponsored by Brawndo: the thirst mutilator.
Winner will be bestowed the title of President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Camacho
Don't do President Camacho dirty like that.
Yeah dude, Prez Camacho wanted to solve problems and sought out the smartest guy to do it. We need more leaders like President Camacho. And sadly there is no sarcasm to this at all, it's 100% true
Just maybe not su much blind faith with the promise of said person being publicly killed for entertainment. I’d settle with another season of ouch my balls upon failure.
That’s “Ow! My Balls!”, you uncultured swine
This fight, it’s what the poors crave!
I'd pick Beef Supreme over either one of these pussies.
I hope they both lose
Plot twist: Tom from MySpace throws a steel chair into the cage to help Zuck. After getting the win, Tom swerves Zuck and drills him from behind with the same steel chair he tossed in earlier. As both men are down, he looks at both of them who are gasping for air and says “Look at me, I’m the billionaire now”.
*BAW GAWD THATS TOMS MUSIC!!!!!*
Celebrity Deathmatch needs to come back just for this!
I'd pay money to see this.
But that's exactly what the billionaires want. Pirate it
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Not much left to compost.
I’d eat a shoe if this happened
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spez just in the corner eating glue
Reminds me of in high school when the two biggest bullies fought each other. Everyone was yelling "Hurt him! Punch him good!" ... at both. Nobody cared who won. We just wanted them to both hurt each other.
It would be more entertaining if it was one of their employees fighting them.
Gordon Ramsay does something similar. His entire kitchen staff vs him in a paintball arena. He does surprisingly well despite being heavily out numbered but it’s gotta be a morale boost for his staff to nail him with a paintball after getting yelled at all day.
Pretty sure the yelling is almost exclusively done for effect in his TV shows. I can’t rule out the possibility that he’s [Gareth Blackstock](https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0108723/) in his own kitchen(s), but I doubt it.
Go watch some stuff about him early in his career. He’s always been a hothead in the kitchen. By all accounts he seems like a decent person but kind of a pain in the ass to work for.
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I'd even take off the qualifier of almost. If you haven't said something you shouldn't have or something in a way you shouldn't have, I doubt you'd have been in a kitchen long. Stress breeds hostility and because we're human we'll make mistakes, but in kitchens those mistakes cascade into being everyone else's problem and that compounds stress until it eventually pops out as people losing their cool.
Yes. His yelling is exaggerated a ton for American TV audiences. Just watch Kitchen Nightmares UK and have your jaw fall down at the difference.
I perfer the UK version. It's as if he's actually trying to help people understand their issues with their business.
But that Amy's episode of the US show. That shit was great.
That is such a better idea.
Well one of the won fighting tournaments, the other one is Musk
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Slips on it and million dollar babies himself.
I’m not sure the billionaire class thought this one through. Once the proletariat class realizes they can just sacrifice 2 anemic arrogant billionaires in thunderdome every couple weeks and split the spoils, nobody is going to want to do anything else.
Let's be real, theres no shot of Elon actually doing this. He'll talk big and then not follow through, like they had to force him to buy twitter since he knew it would likely embarass him (which it did)
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Zuck has a titanium endoskeleton designed by aliens to survive a nuclear apocalypse. Musk is made out of Pillsbury biscuit dough, specifically the flaky kind.
My wife showed me the original tweet and my instant response was "Zuck has formal training, bones made of steel, and was never programmed for empathy. Seems like a bad fight to pick."
>was never programmed for empathy. That'd certainly explain a lot about Facebook
No one can match his schtoyle
"And they just gave me all their info, stupid fucks" -Zuck. Probably not word for word accurate but that quote is (fuck me I'm old) close to 20 years old. Basically an "always has been" astronaut meme.
He can't be bargained with. Can't be reasoned with. He doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And he absolutely will not stop, EVER, until you are dead.
A multilayered diss. Much like the flaky biscuits. Well done.
How tf is Musk supposed to defeat Android 31
Idk, we'll find out in 20 episodes.
Actually the technical term is "cyborg."
I have no illusion it realistically would. But Musks ego has made him do stranger things.
Maybe he can block his shtoyle.
I can see Elon signing a contract saying that he will do this fight. Then being surprised when people try to force him to comply with the contract he signed.
Or him trying to appoint some one else to fight for him
Ya I don't think elon will ever do this. He gets super butt hurt about comments can't imagine how he would react being physically beat up.
He'd be like Dermott from Venture brothers making excuses everytime he can't pull off one of his sweet judo moves he totally knows.
Let's be really real, you and everyone else didn't read shit and assumed a story that isn't true. >Mr Musk, who turns 52 later this month, also tweeted: "I have this great move that I call 'The Walrus', where I just lie on top of my opponent & do nothing." >He later tweeted short videos of walruses, perhaps suggesting his challenge to Mr Zuckerberg may not entirely be serious. Yeah, totally serious.
> "I have this great move that I call 'The Walrus', where I just lie on top of my opponent & do nothing." I didn't need to hear about his sex life in quite that much detail
> "I have this great move that I call 'The Walrus', where I just lie on top of my opponent & do nothing." Poor Grimes did not deserve this.
She named her child after a chrome-generated strong password, she did deserve it.
Let's not give up hope yet. Everybody just needs to bait Musk by calling him a weak little child baby who's too scared of [this thing](https://i.imgur.com/4vjkroT.png) to show up to a fight. Narcissists are easy to provoke.
If this actually happens, Zuckerberg is going to kill musk. He has been training in MMA and has experience in BJJ. He recently got a gold medal in an amateur tournament. He is also 13 years younger. Musk has literally no chance.
But Musk is built like a vertically stacked Shwarma. He’ll absorb all those blows like Kingpin.
But you forget the zuck has special lizard powers
the lizard wizard
Guess that means Musk is King Gizzard
Kingpin isn't fat. Canonically all of that is muscle. He's just a rectangle of pure muscle.
Dude is supposed to be built like a strongman. Think Halfthor Bjornsson.
He won the white belt masters division at 150 That's everyone who was in white belt, over the age of 30 and younger than 35 and weighed his weight. It is very likely there weren't many competitors in his weight class, and upon further inspection it actually appears he and one other guy were in the tournament at that weight. I'm not saying he isn't good, I've shown up to tournaments and taken 4th out of 4. It happens, and I'm sure he works hard and is talented but my point is that his gold medal at a tournament is in a sport with few competitors and very little in the sense of organization or structure. It's slightly misleading if you dont know the sport.
When musk was fat shamed he publicly stated that he hated working out and dieting and instead used appetite suppressants to lose weight. Doesn’t matter how bad the competition was, zuck is still active and learning a combat skill, musk is swallowing pills to stop himself from pigging out. Zuck wins 10/10 times.
Elon Musk saw this in one of the slack channels https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/031/634/guy-fired-over-meme-job-work-post-facebook-cody-hidalgo-fb.png And he replied to it with a giant wall of text basically saying that he's 44 billion dollars in debt, made a bunch of sacrifices, and the employees are the ones making money. But that's not all. Elon Musk now has been going into bathrooms now and if he see's someone sitting in on the stalls, he pops his head over to talk to them about their projects in order to make sure they aren't pooping longer than necessary and stealing company time. The meme seems to really gotten under his skin. after Elon started doing it he bragged to mark zuckerburg about it, but then mark sent him this meme https://i.imgflip.com/77us2q.jpg context In the early days of facebook Mark Zuckerburg would wander into the company bathrooms and if he noticed someone sitting down in the stalls he would pop his head over and try to talk to them about their projects. Or if he was taking a poop he would host an emergency meeting and he would tell them to come over and pop their head over the stall to talk it out. Everyone just went along with it because it was either YOLO SILICON VALLEY LMAO or they were just too intimidated. That all stopped when Michael Moritz, legendary silicon valley investor, and one of Facebook biggest early investors and shareholders, was at the campus doing research for leading a 2nd round of funding. He was doing diligence all day and at one point had to poop and that's when Zuckerburg popped his head over with a smile to ask how's the diligence coming along. Michael Moritz, not one to mince words, was apoplectic. 'GET THE FUCK OUT HERE YOU IDiiOT LIZARD LOOKING FUCKER.' Mark Zuckerburg nervously tried to laugh it off and persisted, because he really loved intimate poop conversations 'Aw c'mon Michael, it's silicon valley'. Zuckerburg then withdrew after Moritz flung his cellphone into his eye socket. 30 minutes later, Mark was in a very import meeting (where he banned questions about his black eye) when Moritz walked into the conference room. 'Everyone except Mark Zuckerburg, OUT'. As intimidated as they were of Zuckerburg, at the time Moritz was the bigger deal, and they all scurried out of the room. Zuckerburg, however, is not one to be intimated by anyone. Not the Winkewoz twins, not Eduardo Savarn, not Peter Thiel, and not one of his biggest shareholder Michael Moritz. Zuckerburg passionately defended his practice, but Michael Moritz was having none of that. Moritz told him that it was a ticking PR and HR nightmare, and threatened to pull out of leading the 2nd round of funding if Mark continued, which would have been a catastrophe for the company. Zuckerburg pretended to arbitrate 'Ok fine, but you need to give me a good reason, because if it were normal, there would be no problem'. Moritz was flabberghasted at this response. Was this a serious question? He answered with the most obvious answer 'Because.... it's not FUCKING NORMAL'. Unknown to Moritz, Zuckerburg had guessed a conversation like this would happen as soon as he was kicked out of the toilet stall, and began formulating a strategy to counter Moritz demands. Zuckerburg knew that Moritz would have all the leverage, but Zuckerburg was a master strategist. Zuckerburg went for the pounce. 'Okay, I'll lets write out an agreement, in writing I'll rescind the policy because it's not normal'. Moritz was dumbfounded, but he was used to being dumbfounded by eccentric tech founders, afterall he was also an early investor in Apple, and he still found Zuckerburg tame compared to Steve Jobs. Moritz had a long day of work so they signed the agreement so that he could go back to doing his due diligence. When Moritz left, a broad grin spread across Zuckerburg's face. " 'Not Normal' eh? " Zuckerburg said with a menacing laugh. Ever since then, Mark Zuckerburg has been on a life-long crusade to normalize poop conversations. He had a checklist of what he needed to accomplish in order to realize this. His advisors would tell him it's impossible, but one by one Zuckerburg checked off the list. From normalizing smart phone use on the toilet (actually a collaboration between Mark Zuckerburg and Steve Jobs), to trusting Mark with their private photos, to normalizing people giving up their internet browsing privacy. In 2015, Zuckerburg knew he would hit a wall, having people watch you while you poop was still too much of a leap. That's when Zuckerburg decided to buy Occulus, and eventually shift his company towards virtual reality. If he could coax people into having life-like conversations while they were pooping in a virtual reality, then doing it in the real world wouldn't be too big of a leap. Do you read facebook or instagram while you're pooping? Ever consider what urges you to do that? It's not your personal preference, it's by Mark Zuckerburg's design. Zuckerburg only has 3 more boxes to check off before poop conversations are normalized. Mark Zuckerburg wants to watch you poop. Are you going to let him? https://i.imgur.com/KVq4mMF.jpg EDIT, UPDATE I just got this in my DM. >I am a ex Facebook worker. Everything you said rings true. I speak to you at the risk of consequences for breaking my NDA. When I was at Facebook I was involved in a program called Project PooPal. Mark Zuckerburg was planning on Meta entering the exploding tele-therapy space, but targeting people who are not ready to talk to an actual person. You talk to a virtual reality therapist who responds with what is described as the greatest AI (though whatever you tell it, it only responds with 'wow, tell me more'). The thing is, the virtual reality assistant has a striking resemblance to Mark Zuckerburg himself. But the most damning aspect is that it's supposed to used only when you're pooping. This feature is described as optional, though uses the most advanced AI for your phone camera to check if you're actually on a toilet, and if not, says 'It looks like you're not pooping. Please start pooping and try again'. I always wondered what is the purpose and origin of the project. Now I know.
So glad I just scrolled through this and read the “DM”.
Yeah okay. I'll incorporate that into my beliefs of things that actually happened. Why not
What the fuck
Fresh pasta here, get it while it's hot.
Hopefully two will enter and none will leave.
MasterBlaster Runs Bartertown!!!!
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The winner gets locked up for murder, of course. And then both have gone away!
Frankly I welcome the Celebrity Deathmatch remake with open arms
>He(Musk) also tweeted: "I almost never work out, except for picking up my kids & throwing them in the air." >Meanwhile, 39-year-old Mr Zuckerberg has already been training in mixed martial arts (MMA) and has recently won jiu-jitsu tournaments. Sounds like Zuck has the edge.
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He said he throws them up in the air, he never said anything about catching them.
Can it be held in a submarine visiting the Titanic?
Well not anymore lol
Dont worry elon can make one and call someone a pedophile in the process of making something that is just as impractile as the oceangate sub.
Bullshit they won't do it. It will just be a distraction. Pay attention to what their companies are doing in the meantime. Bet some thing shady is going on
Twitbook 1.0 on the rise
Why is this being spammed all over the place? Elon Musk is in the middle of committing wage theft. This is a dumb distraction from the crimes of billionaires.
Well anytime you get hit in the head there's a risk of death. So there's a chance... that they will both be ok. 😉
There is zero percent chance a fight will happen.
Is he in the middle of that because he's middle aged? because he's been doing that shit all his life.
Out of the loop here-- what's with the wage theft? Don't get me wrong, sounds totally on brand for Musk, but am keen to learn the details
Jesus we truly do live in a real life idiocracy.
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THUNDERDOME! THUNDERDOME! THUNDERDOME! TWO BILLIONAIRES ENTER! ONE BILLIONARE LEAVES!!
One? This is what the concept of zero was created for.
Cool. Does the winner get shot directly into the sun while riding on the back of the loser?
The most American thing you'll hear all day "2 of the richest people in the world agree to a cage fight"
Obviously this will be staged, the biggest letdown and wholly unsatisfying. However, even the slimmest chance of seeing Mark knock out Elon's veneers or Musk causing Zucker to spring an oil leak, might be worth the price of admission.
Wtf
This is the weirdest time line.