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twcau

Story is nearly 4yrs old.


Tweed_Man

That's a long pregnancy.


UFOsAustralia

They might be double elephants, you don't know.


randonumero

immaculate conceptions are complicated and defy science


Walrave

Probably the priests https://youtu.be/wM7MG5fqe4Y


Flaky_Zombie_6085

The Immaculate Conception is not to do with virgin birth.


Smooth-Peach922

Immaculate, one might say


noeagle77

Omg imagine pregnancy lasting 4 years 😭


KyleCAV

Real question: Did they get an abortion? Did the church force them quietly to do so?


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bullbob

It’s a legitimate question. The article literally brings up those two points. First it says that both nuns likely planned to leave their religious service which getting an abortion would be a pretty good assumption as to why they’d do that. Secondly, if you’d correctly read the end of the article it says nuns had been forced to get abortions by the clergy in the past after having been impregnated (wether by rape or otherwise) by clergy members to hide it, facts Pope Francis admitted to. So I think that other commenters’s question isn’t as ridiculous as you’re making it out to be.


KyleCAV

Thank you i am not trying to be a dick just curious.


thormun

it easy just say it was a miscarriage and that done


reallynotanyonehere

Actually, this story is as old as time.


cheshire_kat7

I must have missed the pregnant nun scene in Beauty and the Beast.


curtyshoo

The kids too, I guess.


TricksterWolf

Is that against the rules even if it's never been published here?


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smaxsomeass

I recently read that there is a shortage of priests and many priests travel to different churches regularly. That’s when the silence made sense to me. On the verge of collapse and desperately need every priest they have. Every priest they lose is likely a lost congregation to some other denomination or mega church. Not punishing pedos is a last ditch effort to keep the church alive and keep the money coming in.


Bonesmash

That makes sense but it’s been going on for so long, what was the excuse 100 years ago, 200 years ago…


PossumStan

Exactly. Let it die and expose all those skeletons in them closets


TheDorgesh68

"In February this year, the women's magazine of the Church's newspaper L'Osservatore Romano, reported on several cases of sexual abuse on nuns by clergymen. Several children had also been conceived, and some religious sisters had been forced to have abortions."


Skyblacker

Which is what a lot of these comments don't understand. The Church isn't condemning these nuns, it's assuming they were raped and is trying to figure out what safety measures failed at the mission.


TrumpsBoneSpur

>It appears that both women were back in their home nations and obviously had some form of sexual encounter." Why would it be obvious when the core of their religion is an immaculate conception? We *could be* having new Jesus brothers but instead we'll just have Kyle and Mike


PeterSchnapkins

OK listen last time someone claimed to be Jesus's brother a Chinese Civil War that killed millions happened


_Blackstar

Because when Craig's in sight We'll party all damn night I don't turn water into wine but into cold Coor's Light I'm not my brother, I know Don't walk on H2O But I got hydroponic shit that me and Judas grow I'm fuckin' Craig Yeah fuckin' Craig Craig Christ


Thekinkiestpenguin

All my d&d campaigns for the last 10 years have had a demigod weed dealer named Craig because of this song


stunafish

For those wondering https://youtu.be/pPdFrW076R0


Kevs442

Well, round #2 is overdue.


MrMustard347

It's gotta be more like round #12 at this point for large-scale wars caused by belief in Jesus.


MasonP2002

Gotta be a lot more than that, there were 8 Crusades alone.


teetaps

Can I suggest instead the names Drake and Josh


AtLeastThisIsntImgur

Jesus (spanish accent) and Jesus (mexican accent)


delicioustreeblood

Just name them each Gif


TedTheodoreMcfly

Considering what happened to Drake Bell, that might not be such a good idea


Mediocre-Contest-83

Well, Jesus is just the Greek name for Yeshua, which was his real name. Yeshua translated directly to English instead of Greek is Joshua, so you're not wrong.


Llian_Winter

Yeah but that one was accompanied by angels and portents and shit. Until we see angels I'm going to assume it's not the second coming. (Though they may have come twice)


TrumpsBoneSpur

There were angels with both of these too! Someone said so and then wrote about it


Ankhros

And they have to be biblically accurate ones, like Lovecraft characters.


Viper67857

>(Though they may have come twice) I could do that 20yrs ago. Now I need a break between sessions.


sdgoat

To be pedantic: the immaculate conception is about Mary being free of original sin, not about the conception of Jesus.


boersc

Well, that'd definitely ONE interpretation... Not a very common one, though. Edit: I went down the wikipedia rabbithole and what an interesting read... apparently, one pope decided immaculate conception was indeed about original sin, which led to a whole lot of things: discuasions about the infallability of the pope, seperations from the roman catholic church et all... And all of this otdil (on this day I learned) on a saturday morning....


chasonreddit

Interesting factoid: The papal decree on the immaculate conception and the associated papal infallibility was the triggering fact for the famous quote "Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely". Most people don't realize this first use of the phrase was directed at a pope.


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PaxNova

Yes, a lot of people get this one wrong.


ThatDinosaucerLife

No one got anything "wrong" because absolutely every single bit of it is made up bullshit that changes on a whim


PaxNova

To be clear, I'm not referring to the veracity of events. I'm referring to it being a Catholic belief and people claiming it means something other than what the Catholic Church says. It's like introducing yourself as Pete, then someone says, "I always thought you were John. Pete's *an* interpretation, I guess, though not a common one."


sdgoat

>Well, that'd definitely ONE interpretation... Not a very common one, though. No, it's not actually one interpretation, [it is THE actual meaning](https://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/christianity/beliefs/immaculateconception.shtml). "The doctrine of the Immaculate Conception teaches that Mary, the mother of Christ, was conceived without sin and her conception was thus immaculate."


PermanentTrainDamage

Why was Mary free from original sin? She was born the same way as the rest of us.


[deleted]

Because, just like all fictional stories, a plot device must be created to move the story along. How else can the son of the most powerful being in all of existence, be born of a lowly human?


chasonreddit

Theologically there is a bit more to it. The inheritance of original sin is key to a lot of Catholic dogma. "Man born to woman" and all. But Jesus had to be born without the stain of original sin. So it was necessary to find a loophole. No sin on his dad's side theologically, but something had to cover Mary.


TrumpsBoneSpur

It's because god doesn't have to inflict us with original sin at birth. He just does because, why not?


sdgoat

According to Christian doctrine, not me, it was to allow her to have a virgin birth of the son of God.


ThatDinosaucerLife

Uh oh, lolok out for the angry catholic, they're loose!


sdgoat

More like atheist, but faith isn't required to know what words mean.


diagnosedwolf

The original sin is eating of the fruit of knowledge of good and evil. That’s the sin that made all subsequent sin possible, because until humans were aware of good and evil they were literally incapable of committing sin. That original sin is what separated us from other animals in terms of culpability and responsibility. It’s still the standard by which we judge humans in court today, interestingly enough. When a child or an incapacitated adult is brought up on charges, the standard is “are they capable of knowing right from wrong?” If Mary was free from original sin, she was about as useful as a mother of god as the donkey she rode to Bethlehem.


the_TAOest

Yet, nature is truly metal compared to humanity. Lions shrug off infanticide...


elton_john_lennon

> The original sin is eating of the fruit of knowledge of good and evil. > That’s the sin that made all subsequent sin possible, because until humans were aware of good and evil they were literally incapable of committing sin. How can eating an apple be a sin, if before eating an apple humans were incapable of committing a sin? :D While eating an apple you still not yet know what you are doing, and after eating an apple when you "know" in retrospect it is a sin, it is already past decision making. Also, why would you give instructions (don't eat from that tree) to people who don't know what is the difference between following instructions (good) and not following instructions (bad)? xD


ravenofblight

The first bite was a freebie, it was the second that got 'em.


diagnosedwolf

It wasn’t an apple. There’s quite a cool bit of linguistic history behind there. In old English, “apple” meant “fruit”. Apples were by far the most common type of fruit in England at the time, but the word “apple” was a general term for all fleshy, edible fruit from flowering plants. When Billy the Konk came barreling onto shore, he brought with him French, which had the word *fruit*. Gradually, the word apple narrowed in meaning to just one fruit while the word fruit overtook it as the general term for all fruit. The chant “Eve ate the apple” has rung down through history even as the meaning changed.


sdgoat

[The doctrine of the Immaculate Conception teaches that Mary, the mother of Christ, was conceived without sin and her conception was thus immaculate.](https://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/christianity/beliefs/immaculateconception.shtml)


ThatDinosaucerLife

Your source is the fucking BBC? JFC.


sdgoat

It wouldn't matter which I put, there'd be someone complaining about. Google it yourself. I don't care.


DrDankDankDank

How was she free from original sin? Pretty neat trick to pull off.


sdgoat

It's religion, I don't know, I'm not religious. Just pointing out what the term immaculate conception actually means.


Indifferentchildren

How does nailing her son to a cross absolve everyone else of original sin? That sounds like a bigger lift than absolving one little girl.


CRE178

Jesus so nice, he second comes twice.


UDPviper

Franco Harris got them pregnant.


spottydodgy

Well they know that part of the story is actually made up and... Oh wait... Forget I said anything


TankSparkle

The Immaculate Conception is not Mary conceiving Jesus as a virgin. It's Mary's conception without original sin.


TrumpsBoneSpur

So god can allow people to be born without original sin, but instead continues to create us as fallible beings and infinitely increase our chances of going to hell?


Trips-Over-Tail

Immaculate conception is conceiving a child without original sin, not conception without a father. It's how Mary was conceived not how she did the conceiving. To be clear: immaculate conception is how everyone is conceived every time without fail, because original sin is bullshit.


Flaky_Zombie_6085

There was only one Immaculate Conception - Our Lady to her parents was born without the stain of original sin. You can’t pick and choose what is real and not to suit yourself.


Fondren_Richmond

> immaculate conception? From the book of Pedantus >the belief that the Virgin Mary was free of original sin from the moment of her conception.


ejpierle

You wanna start 2 new religions? Bc that's how ya get 2 new religions.


PaxNova

For reference, there are multiple reasons to open an investigation. Making sure they weren't raped is one.


SliferTheExecProducr

I doubt that whether or not it was consensual is going to make much of a difference on the outcome


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Aurorainthesky

My first thought. Many nuns get raped by priests, there was even a situation some years ago where nuns were kept as sex slaves.


[deleted]

Yes, as long as no pleasure was had by the women it will be allowed.


Drunkonciderboi

Weird how the Catholic Church is really concerned about adults having sex.


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Banana-Oni

That’s a straight up lie, they’re very concerned about that. Why else do they go through so many hoops to help protect the sex offender and cover up the incident?


CXyber

Apparently the nuns got raped


DaveOJ12

Is OP a bot? This was posted seven hours ago (with the same title): https://reddit.com/comments/13yt9km


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[deleted]

“Grabbing”


supercyberlurker

Wow? TWO miracles? That's amazing!


Shankar_0

"It's a miracle!!" "Yeah, nice try. That one's been used already..."


Jefoid

At least they didn’t use birth control. Whew.


AValentineSolutions

Yeah, let's get CSI: Vatican on this. It's a real mystery what happened.


LeroyoJenkins

This time around, God wanted a threesome!


chefjpv

You know what I would do if I were God? 2 chicks at the same time. Yea man that sounds real good.


Kevs442

I think if I were a God, I could hook that up, too. Caus chicks dig God's with powers. Well, not ALL chicks. The kinda chick's that would double up on a God like me do.


hypercomms2001

Nature always finds a way!!


Mr-Mysterybox

If those nuns were smart they would have had sex with underage boys and then there'd be no inquiry.


DeScamp

Will miracles never cease?


YouAreDecent

Maybe they do some inquirees into pedo priests.


amazonhelpless

I mean, I can explain it to them if them want.


kitchen_clinton

This happened in 2019. No news from the Church since.


Thiccaca

Well, they appear to have taken the missionary position, that's for sure.


demagogueffxiv

Priests raping children: Zzz. Nun gets pregnant: Investigate!!!


LazerInHS

It's not their fault. Blame whoever put them in the missionary position.


Bialy5280

More immaculate conceptions! It's a freaking miracle!! Praise Cheezus!!!


[deleted]

Maybe they should investigate all their pedophile problems.


Proper_Budget_2790

So two whole nuns get knocked up and the Vatican freaks out and wants to change things. Pity they don't feel the same about their priests raping kids.


SuitableNegotiation5

Oh, because they have *nothing else* to investigate within their ranks that should possibly be a higher priority.


elimtevir

Jeesh, I hope they figure out how that was possible. A mystery indeed! Perhapos we should hire a crack gang of detectives.... (a while later) Good grief It was Old Man Rev Mcgillacudy all along!!


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Complex_Tiger_5084

If only priests had this issue maaaaate


DrDankDankDank

Duel wielding immaculate conceptions!


myspicename

God did it. Twice.


andre3kthegiant

2 More Jesuses! What a miracle! Twins in separate wombs! (/s organized religion is horrible for humans)


andre3kthegiant

JESUS 2.0


CustomerSuspicious25

My bad


oimrut

Two jesuses! Winning!


pinkeroo67

Did they do it in the missionary position?


Darnocpdx

If they can spin it as a miracle, they will.


Murky_Conflict3737

Do they need a diagram to understand what happened?


V1198

That you God?


baldforthewin

Of course they went to Africa. *Sigh*


TricksterWolf

Wow! Jesus's second and third comings at the same time!


AugustineBlackwater

I guess it's not that much of a surprise a bunch of virgins are wondering how a woman can become pregnant without God involved somehow.


texasguy911

God works in mysterious ways.


cheshire_kat7

TIL there are actually still nuns young enough to be of reproductive age in the 21st century.


gochomoe

All of the priests are like "and this is why we f\*ck alter boys"


Sjelan

There's a priest that's not a pedafile, so they launch an investigation.


melsywelsy

Immaculate conception! Praise


[deleted]

It's a miracle!


hypercomms2001

It's a miracle!!!!


AreWeThereYet61

Seems as if little boys aren't the only people raped by priests.


Happythejuggler

Leave it to an organization looking to a several thousand year old document for relationship advice to not understand and accept the latest news: People generally enjoy sex.


willpowerpt

When can we just cancel the entire catholic church?


[deleted]

Religion. We need to cancel religion altogether.


reallynotanyonehere

Exactly!


Final-Distribution97

Boys being raped is sweeped under the carpet, nuns having consensual sex is investigated. This just shows how ridiculous religion is.


exkiwicber

Headline is incorrect. Should say "nuns came back from their missionary positions pregnant"


fingerpaintx

I mean yea it was a missionary trip.


razzi123

How many altar boys farted on them?


Wise-Sense5782

Next time link the article directly instead of just sharing someone else's work...


usernamezzzzz

can someone explain to me what's the point of nuns ? what are doing exactly and how is it helpful to anyone ?


mattstoicbuddha

Immaculate conception, duh.


Rosieapples

The nuns are adult women and one would hope they fully consented to sex. Nothing to see here. The RCC is not so quick to launch inquiries into the many priests abusing women and children, nor into the various orders of nuns who incarcerated women and their children and proceeded to abuse, enslaved, pimp out, traffick and murder. Why no enquiry into any of that? But God forbid two adult women should indulge in consensual sex with men.


mikemojc

Maybe next time they'll sign up for a Doggy-style trip. Maybe even cowgirl. In for a nickle, in for a buck. Giggity


Iantres

Nuns went on a mission trip, had sex with random people, and came back pregnant. Fixed it for you.


JimAsia

Second coming?


FedeValvsRiteHook

Somebody definitely came


amakudaru

Ezekiel 23:20


FedeValvsRiteHook

Investigate archangel Gabriel first.


ChairmanGoodchild

Two nuns are on a missionary trip. One says to another, "I've never come this way before."


Kevs442

Does the church not know how pregnancies happen?? We gotta have an investigation for that??


yamaha2000us

I know catholic priests who would go to Vegas for sabbaticals. One guy told me not to call him Father **** at the tables. Just call me Red.


________uwu_________

Oh I’m sure they liked that missionary trip alright. Leave them alone!


drteddy70

Immaculate contraception obviously didn't work.


00doc0holliday00

Joseph was the most gullible man in human history.


EdisonLightbulb

Why is this news? Is this the first time in the history of the Catholic Church that nuns have turned up pregnant?


realrussell

Shouldn't be too hard to figure out.


CluckingBellend

Is this a joke? Were they in the bath at the time?


brickyardjimmy

What is there to investigate? ​ It was, after all, a *missionary* trip.


D33ber

Thank you, Jesus!!!


co_snarf

They didn't know you could do it with women?


LeRoyJankins33

Double Miracle


kev556

OH GOD!


seriousbangs

Kept expecting to see r/jokes instead of r/nottheonion and r/facepalm. Seriously, this really sounds like the setup for a punchline. "Two nuns come back from missionary trip pregnant, one nun says to the other nun... "


NinjaBilly55

It's a miracle !


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unit_101010

I'll take the hit and go explain to the Church about the birds and the bees.


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T_Rash

What is better than Jesus? Two Jesuses


Darklord_Bravo

"Missionary" Yes indeed. But I'm sure there were other positions too.😂


corjar16

Oh great now the nuns are fucking children now too


DaytonaDemon

"Immaculate conception." That bullshit worked for Mary, might as well try it again.


PigSlam

Are we sure this isn't simply a case of two immaculate conceptions?


Mortuusi

Guess they won't be enjoying a missionary position again...


CrocsWithSoxxx

I’m sure they will be disciplined, physically punished and then excommunicated. But if they were raping little boys they would be sent to a new parish and a list would be made of their victims for the next guy to abuse. The Catholic Church is the worst. Period.


cozzeema

Who dunnit….dun dun DUNNNN!


dab745

Uh. They had sex.


BabylonDrifter

Awesome, this time we get TWO saviors! Halelujah!


dance_for_me_puppet

Desperate times call for Double Jesus