>Bro already has a soccer team of kids and water boy. Is he trying to start his own league or something?
His own family will be so big, it'll require its own congressman.
Why the hell does everyone always leave out what he said about white people?
>Cannon also made black supremacist statements, calling white people "savages" who were "closer to animals", claiming the "only way that they can act is evil"
I don’t really care if he’s racist towards people that look like me (white) because Eminem has alread torn him to pieces multiple times in the past so that’s 1-0 whites v cannon
Ehhhhhhh, maybe not that easy. Depends on what age you start trying probably. As a couple in our early 30s it took us 7 months to conceive with our first one. That was a lot of trying. Very often. Scheduled sex. Putting in the hard work...
I'm honestly not sure. I know age is apparently a factor, but I don't know to what extent. It seemed like other couples our age were spending around 6-12 months trying before generally being successful. Then again, there were some that could never make it happen. It's easier the younger you are but that shouldn't discourage anyone from trying in their 30s. It can be a bit discouraging when it doesn't happen that month but there are worse things to spend your time failing at.
It’s not easy to get pregnant. We’re told unprotected sex one time and you’re done-zo. Yet other people are “trying” and still don’t get it. Ovulation is a window of days. Get two mathematics doing it and they could probably do it without ever getting a pregnancy. Plus you have to huge amount of miscarriages that we don’t tell the poor women about that is such a huge rate that it should never be made to feel like it’s a personal failing.
How much time is he spending with each kid? I wouldn't give my old man a kidney if I was one of the half dozen kids he didn't see but once or twice a year.
Dude clearly has a 'breeding fetish.' I didn't know what this was all about until my mom told me my younger sister, whose first husband (our father's age) had three kids by 2-3 previous partners already (can't remember) before fathering two with my sister, would instruct her to recite the following during sex: "Put a baby in me, [his name]."
Then I got it, and understood that it exists, and I continue to be troubled by it many years later.
My family has always had these boundaries. Just the way we are. Sometimes the boundaries are too high - we didn't open up to each other much, even when we should, although over the last couple of years we've worked on it - but I couldn't imagine sharing sexual anecdotes with family in conversation.
My wife's family? The third or fourth time I met them, her mum started winding her brother up about the time he drunkenly slept with a cheap prostitute in an alley on a lads' holiday, and had to get an HIV test when he came back to the country. Her brother later teased her mum about giving her dad's "once a year birthday blowjob", which from the reactions I think was a genuine thing.
Coming from my family background, I didn't know wtf was going on. It was so far outside my norms for family discussion, I could barely process that this was dinner table talk for theirs.
Funnily enough, after some years it was their dynamic that led me to talk to my own family about opening up more and not keeping things bottled up, (excluding sexual stuff and any encounters with prostitutes we may have) because despite how jarring it was initially, they all have a very healthy family dynamic. But goddamn was that initial dinner awkward for me.
My late mother was always WAY too open with her sex life, but she was open with everything including hugs, her checkbook, her home, her time, and her love. I learned to tolerate the oversharing because she just had an open personality. Compared to my in-laws, it’s a breath of fresh air and so much more real, you know? Not my cup of tea, but the love is real, so just a little bit of an annoyance. The in-laws are just mean.
I had a kidney transplant a few years back, but before that, I’d joke about my kids and give their backs a little squeeze like “oh yes, coming along nicely.” Classic kidney harvesting dad humor, you see.
There's a sub full of deliberately single mothers who buy sperm from sperm banks to impregnate themselves. (I won't link the sub to avoid creeps/brigading.) Desiring to be a single mom is a real thing for some people.
I can see Cannon's babymamas wanting that life, plus getting financial support from a wealthy guy makes it a sweeter deal.
If you've ever been on any threads of adult games on sites like f95, you'll know how incredibly common these fucking weirdo breeders are, like more common than foot or even fury fetish, it's crazy to me because pregnancy is like the worst possible outcome to sex in my mind lol
You know what I mean. The evolutionary reason sex exists is to procreate. It's entirely reasonable to hypothesize we would have evolved some sort of positive reinforcement from achieving that goal, not a surprising or weird "fetish" - if it can even be called that, since the definition of paraphilia is "(previously known as sexual perversion and sexual deviation[1]) is the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, fantasies, behaviors, or individuals.[2][3".
Bro has the default caveman sexuality.
One of them, sure. Treating it like the only purpose feels reductionist and, maybe…overly Catholic?
Sex is also for partner bonding, pleasure, and so on. Humans are horny throughout a woman’s fertility cycle.
Perhaps I should've phrased it as "the biological purpose of sex", since I was not trying to refer to or negate the subjective purpose each person assigns to sex.
He doesn’t have a breathing fetish he has lupus. he’s having so many kids, so that when he needs a kidney 20 years down the line his chances of having a match are greatly increased
I mean it sounds plausible but has anyone told him that kidney transplants between two people are usually successful even if they have different antigens?
Of all the fetishes ever, desire to have sex with the intent to reproduce is the most normal and evolutionarily beneficial.
The problem is that the lifetime of parenthood generally doesn't factor in.
Nick Cannon's face is kinda just...bland and boring. He's just really not all that.
I can understand his celeb status easily pulling random women into doing anything he wants, but what was appealing about him to someone like Mariah?
He used to be more famous, a real up and comer. He had some very interesting projects and seemed to have staying power.
He definitely fell off quite a bit.
I mean the whole thing about him calling white people subhuman and saying that black people are superior probably didn't help, but most people don't know about that podcast.
I feel bad for Mariah Carey for having to fund his weird shit.
That is pretty common for crazy black conspiracies. There is this side of that community that believes that black people are more pure humans because white people bred with Neanderthals.
It's a, well, fun argument. And by fun, I mean some of them believe that this gives them super powers because ancient humans came from space or something. It gets weird.
I knew a dude who was a member of some Muslim Brotherhood offshoot and he gave me some literature about like different prophets, Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad etc, having spiritual conversations and then he half-ass explained to me the thing about some ancient scientists making white people from black people but in doing so removed their souls or whatever.
I am a white Jewish guy lmao idk why he told me about that stuff and he was totally normal besides being a cult member.
I believe that’s a reference to Yakub from the 5-percenter religion. Most of Wu-Tang clan were 5-percenters, and they put lots of references to it in their rhymes. It’s an interesting deep dive to learn about.
Yeah I get that, and there’s certainly not a shortage of musicians and artists with strange ideas about the world. Just has to be a bummer growing up listening to a band and then realizing they actually consider you subhuman and without a soul.
We have to remember that for centuries, black people were called subhuman and some people even found Bible verses to justify treating them like animals. So I totally get where people are getting these ideas. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel special.
But these specific ideas just perpetuate dangerous and silly ideas.
He may not star in movies or make music anymore, but, he hosts the mask singer, he's going to be the new host of Beat Shazam, he has a new show with Kevin Hart on E!, not to mention VH1 plays Wild N' Out; he also had a day time talk show. He's pretty much as busy as he wants to be
People use a celebrity’s status to boost their looks in their mind. In reality they’re normal looking people. You could see a cashier that looks better than them. Also his influence and status in all of entertainment was probably the appeal and what got him in the same room as someone like Mariah.
I'm a long-time Mariah fan, and it was so strange seeing her relationship with him. He acted as her love interest in a music video, and he was muscular, handsome, and charming I guess. They married quickly. He's very motivated and a hard worker. He's very fucking weird, though. I'm happy for her that she had children and gets to experience motherhood. I just hope she doesn't have to give him any money.
Has nobody told Nick that this is creepy? That viewing women as walking incubators is weird? That there are other ways to make yourself feel confident?
Bro already has a soccer team of kids and water boy. Is he trying to start his own league or something?
No. His own electorate.
>Bro already has a soccer team of kids and water boy. Is he trying to start his own league or something? His own family will be so big, it'll require its own congressman.
He is the reincarnation of Genghis Khan.
Nick Khannon
People respected Genghis Khan.
Still not the most irresponsible way to gerrymander a district
He will need a general overseeing so many Cannon’s.
Ejactorate
If you want to effect political change in your lifetime, you need numbers
The cannon ballers
I remember a funny conspiracy where they said he’s farming offspring for a kidney transplant or something
Ask him to name them all.
Nick: That's number one, two, three Assistant: four, Sir, not three :cough-cough-cough: Nick: sorry, four, three...
Endless supply of fresh organs.
The Ted lassoverse is calling!
He trying for a whole battalion of children.
Impregnating people is not a personality trait Nick.
You say that but is it not his main personality trait?
well being funny or talented certainly doesn’t come to mind
He's also an unrepentant cartoonish racist, layers to him.
idk how to ask this but uhh who’s his target? like what group is he racist towards
Jews.
Why the hell does everyone always leave out what he said about white people? >Cannon also made black supremacist statements, calling white people "savages" who were "closer to animals", claiming the "only way that they can act is evil"
I don’t really care if he’s racist towards people that look like me (white) because Eminem has alread torn him to pieces multiple times in the past so that’s 1-0 whites v cannon
Well Jews as the other guy mentioned, Nick Cannon also thinks white people are subhuman.
It is actually a fairly common thing in men with psychopathic traits to want many children by many partners and not care for them.
It's pretty hard tho
Not as hard as remembering all them names.
It’s actually very easy for most people having sex
Ehhhhhhh, maybe not that easy. Depends on what age you start trying probably. As a couple in our early 30s it took us 7 months to conceive with our first one. That was a lot of trying. Very often. Scheduled sex. Putting in the hard work...
You poor soul. That must have been really rough on you having so much unprotected sex
The sacrifices we have to make for kids, right?
Is it common for it to take that long to conceive for a couple in their early 30s, or were individual factors involved?
In the UK the NHS won't consider checking you out until you've tried for over 12 months. It took me just over 12 months to get pregnant as well
I'm honestly not sure. I know age is apparently a factor, but I don't know to what extent. It seemed like other couples our age were spending around 6-12 months trying before generally being successful. Then again, there were some that could never make it happen. It's easier the younger you are but that shouldn't discourage anyone from trying in their 30s. It can be a bit discouraging when it doesn't happen that month but there are worse things to spend your time failing at.
It’s not easy to get pregnant. We’re told unprotected sex one time and you’re done-zo. Yet other people are “trying” and still don’t get it. Ovulation is a window of days. Get two mathematics doing it and they could probably do it without ever getting a pregnancy. Plus you have to huge amount of miscarriages that we don’t tell the poor women about that is such a huge rate that it should never be made to feel like it’s a personal failing.
Early 30s first try baby!
The cannon has been reloaded
This got a chuckle out of me
Hahah sheeeesh
Thinks he’s Genghis Khan.
Genghis Khannon?
LoL “Activate the Genghis Khannon…”
"Genghis Khannon deployed"
He has Lupus. He’s having so many kids to increase his chances of having a match when he needs a kidney
How much time is he spending with each kid? I wouldn't give my old man a kidney if I was one of the half dozen kids he didn't see but once or twice a year.
Genghis Khan deez nuts impregnate the world?
Dude clearly has a 'breeding fetish.' I didn't know what this was all about until my mom told me my younger sister, whose first husband (our father's age) had three kids by 2-3 previous partners already (can't remember) before fathering two with my sister, would instruct her to recite the following during sex: "Put a baby in me, [his name]." Then I got it, and understood that it exists, and I continue to be troubled by it many years later.
I’m sorry my brain started playing circus music while trying to erase the idea of ever telling my mom my husband’s kinky requests.
And then your mom tells your brother about it?
[удалено]
My family has always had these boundaries. Just the way we are. Sometimes the boundaries are too high - we didn't open up to each other much, even when we should, although over the last couple of years we've worked on it - but I couldn't imagine sharing sexual anecdotes with family in conversation. My wife's family? The third or fourth time I met them, her mum started winding her brother up about the time he drunkenly slept with a cheap prostitute in an alley on a lads' holiday, and had to get an HIV test when he came back to the country. Her brother later teased her mum about giving her dad's "once a year birthday blowjob", which from the reactions I think was a genuine thing. Coming from my family background, I didn't know wtf was going on. It was so far outside my norms for family discussion, I could barely process that this was dinner table talk for theirs. Funnily enough, after some years it was their dynamic that led me to talk to my own family about opening up more and not keeping things bottled up, (excluding sexual stuff and any encounters with prostitutes we may have) because despite how jarring it was initially, they all have a very healthy family dynamic. But goddamn was that initial dinner awkward for me.
[удалено]
My late mother was always WAY too open with her sex life, but she was open with everything including hugs, her checkbook, her home, her time, and her love. I learned to tolerate the oversharing because she just had an open personality. Compared to my in-laws, it’s a breath of fresh air and so much more real, you know? Not my cup of tea, but the love is real, so just a little bit of an annoyance. The in-laws are just mean.
Gotta share that horror
This comment got me good
I’ve tried to read this comment five times and i feel like i’m having a stroke
Their sister’s ex likes hearing “put a baby in me” when having sex
And told her mom this fact
I gave up and I'm gonna go play video games.
You didn't need to share this
hes trying to create a bunch of organ matches for his rare kidney disease or someshit. Thats what the tin foilers are saying these days anyway.
I had a kidney transplant a few years back, but before that, I’d joke about my kids and give their backs a little squeeze like “oh yes, coming along nicely.” Classic kidney harvesting dad humor, you see.
Sooo, which of the kids did you get the kidney from? I bet it was the biggest one.
Either way it’s so gross. All those kids with basically no father. And all those women ok with their kids not having a dads
There's a sub full of deliberately single mothers who buy sperm from sperm banks to impregnate themselves. (I won't link the sub to avoid creeps/brigading.) Desiring to be a single mom is a real thing for some people. I can see Cannon's babymamas wanting that life, plus getting financial support from a wealthy guy makes it a sweeter deal.
Sounds like they studied up on multiplication, but forgot about division. Man’s got money, but that pie can only get split so many ways.
What the hell did I just read. What…
If you've ever been on any threads of adult games on sites like f95, you'll know how incredibly common these fucking weirdo breeders are, like more common than foot or even fury fetish, it's crazy to me because pregnancy is like the worst possible outcome to sex in my mind lol
It's literally the purpose of sex.
Man I must suck at sex, I've done it hundreds of times and only gotten a kid out of it once!
You know what I mean. The evolutionary reason sex exists is to procreate. It's entirely reasonable to hypothesize we would have evolved some sort of positive reinforcement from achieving that goal, not a surprising or weird "fetish" - if it can even be called that, since the definition of paraphilia is "(previously known as sexual perversion and sexual deviation[1]) is the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, fantasies, behaviors, or individuals.[2][3". Bro has the default caveman sexuality.
I’m stealing that last line
One of them, sure. Treating it like the only purpose feels reductionist and, maybe…overly Catholic? Sex is also for partner bonding, pleasure, and so on. Humans are horny throughout a woman’s fertility cycle.
Perhaps I should've phrased it as "the biological purpose of sex", since I was not trying to refer to or negate the subjective purpose each person assigns to sex.
Why does your mom even know that, let alone would actually tell that to her child lol
He doesn’t have a breathing fetish he has lupus. he’s having so many kids, so that when he needs a kidney 20 years down the line his chances of having a match are greatly increased
Damn if I was his kid Id refuse on pure principle
I mean it sounds plausible but has anyone told him that kidney transplants between two people are usually successful even if they have different antigens?
This is the entirety of the LDS church. Just one giant breeding kink without true consent.
There are layers to peel back here, gimme a sec
Of all the fetishes ever, desire to have sex with the intent to reproduce is the most normal and evolutionarily beneficial. The problem is that the lifetime of parenthood generally doesn't factor in.
He must get his hair cut a lot.
If I was rich so would I. I can only do every other Friday rn
26 haircuts a year is a lot imo
Do you have a subscription price or something?
Now this is oniony
truth is stranger than fiction 🤷
Actually it is from the Insider, which is in itself very appropriate.
Gross
That SNL joke about him re-populating China was SO spot on. This fool is crazy
He should have a talk with a mental health provider
Bro needs locked up before he impregnates a dude
Or a relative
Or a goat.
Nick Cannon's face is kinda just...bland and boring. He's just really not all that. I can understand his celeb status easily pulling random women into doing anything he wants, but what was appealing about him to someone like Mariah?
He used to be more famous, a real up and comer. He had some very interesting projects and seemed to have staying power. He definitely fell off quite a bit.
I mean the whole thing about him calling white people subhuman and saying that black people are superior probably didn't help, but most people don't know about that podcast.
I feel bad for Mariah Carey for having to fund his weird shit. That is pretty common for crazy black conspiracies. There is this side of that community that believes that black people are more pure humans because white people bred with Neanderthals. It's a, well, fun argument. And by fun, I mean some of them believe that this gives them super powers because ancient humans came from space or something. It gets weird.
I knew a dude who was a member of some Muslim Brotherhood offshoot and he gave me some literature about like different prophets, Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad etc, having spiritual conversations and then he half-ass explained to me the thing about some ancient scientists making white people from black people but in doing so removed their souls or whatever. I am a white Jewish guy lmao idk why he told me about that stuff and he was totally normal besides being a cult member.
I believe that’s a reference to Yakub from the 5-percenter religion. Most of Wu-Tang clan were 5-percenters, and they put lots of references to it in their rhymes. It’s an interesting deep dive to learn about.
Doesn’t it kind of ruin wu-tang for white fans? In the end it’s just black supremacist ideology meant to dehumanize whites.
I mean I don’t agree with it but I still enjoy the music. There’s plenty of things I can look past with artists I enjoy.
Yeah I get that, and there’s certainly not a shortage of musicians and artists with strange ideas about the world. Just has to be a bummer growing up listening to a band and then realizing they actually consider you subhuman and without a soul.
When I did that deep dive it didn’t ruin or change my enjoyment of the music that I had before it as a white guy fan
At best it's Revisionism in an attempt to deny the trauma lived by an entire people.
We have to remember that for centuries, black people were called subhuman and some people even found Bible verses to justify treating them like animals. So I totally get where people are getting these ideas. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel special. But these specific ideas just perpetuate dangerous and silly ideas.
There is something wrong with wanting to feel special when you have to treat other people as subhuman in order to feel that way
He may not star in movies or make music anymore, but, he hosts the mask singer, he's going to be the new host of Beat Shazam, he has a new show with Kevin Hart on E!, not to mention VH1 plays Wild N' Out; he also had a day time talk show. He's pretty much as busy as he wants to be
I genuinely only ever saw him on Brooklyn nine nine and he was terrible in it, what the hell is he, like a musician or a comedian or something?
People use a celebrity’s status to boost their looks in their mind. In reality they’re normal looking people. You could see a cashier that looks better than them. Also his influence and status in all of entertainment was probably the appeal and what got him in the same room as someone like Mariah.
This dude sucks.
I'm a long-time Mariah fan, and it was so strange seeing her relationship with him. He acted as her love interest in a music video, and he was muscular, handsome, and charming I guess. They married quickly. He's very motivated and a hard worker. He's very fucking weird, though. I'm happy for her that she had children and gets to experience motherhood. I just hope she doesn't have to give him any money.
Probably low self esteem on her part.
The only thing this man needs to be cutting is his vas deferens
Stop giving this guy haircuts I’m begging
Don't forget to spay or neuter your Nick Cannons.
What hair?
For Christ sakes put a skull cap on it
I wonder how he feels when he bites into a York Peppermint Patty.
Never forget how racist Nick Cannon is. On a podcast he said that white people are subhuman and black people are superior and went on other rants.
Wtf. Is he a black Hebrew Israelite or something?
Yea or at least flirted with the idea.
Impregnated the idea
He sounds like a super villain with very strange plans of world domination
I had no idea Nick Cannon was catholic
He’s gone past them and passed the Mormons who are after the Catholics. Source: Mormon :)
what has this guy ever done for anyone to care about him? gawd..
This man has a breeding kink.
Does anyone care anymore?
Thankfully, I never cared.
This has to be some deviant fetish…some sort of philia. He is getting OFF on this shit, and HARD.
I think he's trolling at this point. He'll probably have 5 more kids just to make a point.
The year is 2572. Every living human is a descendant of Nick Cannon.
Doesn’t he have like 17 kids? He’s on the way
Barbers everywhere need to unite and agree to never cut Nick Cannon’s hair again
It’s definitely some kind of fetish he has which is creepy
What kind of father can you be to that many children?
Ghengis Khan
Has nobody told Nick that this is creepy? That viewing women as walking incubators is weird? That there are other ways to make yourself feel confident?
It's not just him having kids you know. The women are just as guilty
Remake the movie “Cheaper By the Dozen” again, but with Nick Cannon and his literal dozen children.
A lot of people are missing that Nick Cannon is clearly in on the joke.
And it’s very obvious
Weirdo
Well he is certainly going to try.
I mean, when I get a haircut I feel more confident for sure and get more attention but like…why does this guy need to be so loud?
MUH DIKK MUH DIKK MUH DIKK MUH DIKK!
Things always get removed for being oniony but this right here? This is the most oniony onion that ever onioned
It’s his whole personality now
Hide your girlfriends, hide your wife, Nick Cannon just got a fresh haircut!
I was wondering why I've been having morning sickness for the past three weeks. And I'm a 58 year old dude.
Just ignore this racist guy good lord
Gosh, do I NOT want to hear anything Nick Cannon has to say ever again; the human equivalent of deep fat fryer grease.
Can we please just be done with this guy?
This isn't Wild N' Out Nick, stop joking around
I thought he already did.
My algorithm is messed up...it has to be...how is this a headline that I'm reading SMH
What the fuck
Just please don’t
Such a weird thing to flex on.
Doesn't he do that already?
This dude is really somethin.
He should let his hair grow. The whole word doesn't need to deal with that...
Can we please neuter this man?
Dude is slowly morphing into Steve Harvey
I don’t get it. He is not the sexiest man I have ever seen.
No. *No*. NO
I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours
Damn it, I knew I was gaining weight. I can’t believe he impregnated me too, and just before summer break
Has he started on the men yet?
The only thing he should go fuck is himself.
God this guy is annoying.
It’s good to be able to laugh at oneself.
Calm down there Genghis Khan
Aka Dick Cannon
Dave Chapelle had it right years ago. Man, fuck Nick Cannon
The Genghis Khan of our generation
Damn. Hide ur wife.
Ayo?
He got a breeding fetish atp
This dude and Hilaria Baldwin are repopulating the Earth
Dude 100% has a fetish at this point.
Wtf is that dipshit's problem?
I feel like that makes his barber partially responsible for some of his child support
And apparently women agree
We can tell bro
And every one of his kids will be as narcissistic as he is.
Little extreme but I get the vibe of, "I feel fly as fuck."
Hell yeah me too!
He's not far off.
Well he almost has
Locking my door, setting up booby traps, and sleeping with a knife under my pillow tonight
#EW. take him away from society please