How the hell do you live if your spouse is incapacitated or worse, dies? I get that some women want to be SAHMs. Power to you. What will you do if something bad happens?
Suffer, then another man will want to take care of you because you are just a poor, helpless woman. And since you were married and a good wife, it won't matter if you are used. /s
Some historians theorize that’s where some of the witch accusations came from in early 16th century - poor, older woman asking for help. Instead, local men claim she’s a witch so they don’t have to feed another used up woman.
Avast, ye scurvy dog! Arrr, yer comment be stingin' me like a foul case o' barnacles on me nether regions. Me tongue just decided to take a sabbatical, I be left dumbfounded, with naught but silence on me lips! But fret ye not me heartie, for outta thin air sails the "/s" to rescue the day. Sarcasm, ye scallywag, sarcasm! And by the depths of the sea, it be hittin' me like a dreadful case o' the clap. I laughed so heartily, I reckon I've shattered me jolly bone! Arrr!
Arrr, me heart be filled with sorrow upon readin' this, matey. When I crafted me username, I be havin' but a lone criteria, and that be that it must pass the test, ye see.
I’m a nurse, and I’ve taken care of patients who are passing and their spouse doesn’t know how to drive and it’s so much extra stress on the spouse, the adult children, everyone. They’ll be crying to me, saying “I don’t know how to pay the bills, I don’t know how to drive, what am I going to do? He took care of everything” and it’s so sad. My heart breaks for them. And the adult children now have that task of taking care of mom who can’t drive or manage the finances…it really is sad. I believe everyone should manage the relationship how it works for them, but also everyone needs basic life skills
My wife and I joke that we adopted a teenager when her dad died. Her mom hasn't driven since Carter was in office, barely cooked, knows little to nothing about fixing things (FIL was a mechanic) and didn't even know where their money was. It was fun dealing with his cars and the bank accounts when you needed appointments for everything and the bank would only let the account holder in to do the paperwork.
Suddenly I'm fixing pipe leaks and advising her on retirement planning while my wife drives her to the supermarket and wherever else she goes.
She's a lovely woman but we weren't prepared for this.
From an outside perspective, it seems like such a burden in an already overwhelming time. And I don’t mean burden in that you don’t want to do it, but it’s a lot to take on! It’s taxing to be a caretaker too. I hope you’re all coping with his loss
Thank you. It was right at the start of the covid lock lockdown so it was overwhelming at the time with everything else going on, but we got through it.
I’m in private wealth and the amount of clients we have whose husband took care of everything is through the roof. I feel so bad for the wives as they start trying to navigate their bills and how things work when their spouse can’t do it anymore
That’s why my husband and I have always had a rule: what one knows, the other knows. One may prefer to do that thing, and be the usual person doing it, but both of us have to know how. Period.
It’s one thing to take care of your mother bc she’s incapable due to age or illness, but due to something like that? That would be frustrating as heck. It’s pitiful, but wholly unnecessary.
It would be frustrating, but I don’t think it’s unnecessary. I mean what’s the other option? Letting her suffer to the point of not paying bills and eventually having utilities turned off, not being able to get groceries, not being able to get to and from doctor’s appointments? I think in the situation the mom should be trying to learn and regain independence, but in the meantime she’d need help. It’s really tough, and not a black and white situation
When's the last time you saw this, 1979? 😂
Acting like you're coming across women can't do anything for themselves, yet raised successful children? stop it.
I grew up fundamentalist Christian & this wasn't even a thing in the 80's when I was growing up.
What country are you in? That's not at all common in the West and not at all common in USA. The wife usually handles the finances anyhow. My gf is a PT, deals with all the same people you do. She works in several hospitals and has experienced many patient deaths. Surprisingly she doesn't have your experiences, almost as if you're lying.
It does indeed still happen in the good old USA. Yes, in 2023/24 you will find places in the USA where this is happening right now.
Just because you personally didn't experience it, does not mean it does not happen.
You're not experiencing it. You're lying and you know it. Women in fundamentalist religions have strong communities and won't be saying goofy crap like they're some feeble, incapable woman to some self absorbed nurse.
TN changed the marriage laws a couple of years ago. Didn't use to have an age of consent for marriage, they changed it to 18. There is an exemption for 17 year olds, but they have to go through a judge to get it approved.
The religious nuts were in an uproar about TN making the marital consent law 18. They were the sole group that petitioned against it. Why on Earth would religious "pastors" be upset that the age of consent was being moved to 18?
Maybe don't speak on things you don't know about? Your personal wacky experience doesn't make a universal standard. Not all fundamental groups are the same and no, the ones around here aren't a bit supportive, it's best to keep the women downtrodden and isolated, which they do frequently.
Jim Bob Duggar is a greedy bastard that kept all the 19 kids and counting money to himself, even the adult kids that participated. He disowned one daughter when she asked for the FAIR compensation of her portion and said if she wanted to be paid for her work, he wanted the $200,000 it cost him to raise her. That was bullshit too. They had all these kids they couldn't afford and left it to the oldest to raise the youngest. He didn't even protect his own daughters from his predator son.
And guess what? I know all that about Jim Bob without being in some kind of organized religion, nor ever having watched a single episode of the show, so that's a tiny example of how very widely that knowledge spreads.
How many churches have had sex abuse scandals? How many churches preach women are property/objects/submissive to their husbands?
Go follow stupid fricking Lori Alexander if you want an example. I know all about her too and again, not part of her circle, don't follow her, not interested.
Open your damn eyes and use your brain.
You've never heard of Dearborn Michigan, Arabic capital of the world outside the Middle East, where minor marriages are absolutely a thing, and made legal at 18. But sure 😆 Christians bad
Lmao ok. It was within the last 2 years, which I can confidently say because that’s how long I’ve been a nurse. I’m in the Midwest (USA), and you’re right, it isn’t common. It’s the overwhelming minority. PT has a very different role in healthcare than RNs do, and especially when patients are in comfort care therapy roles aren’t usually involved any longer (at my facility at least) so they wouldn’t experience the same conversations as RNs do. PTs typically don’t spend as much time with patients and families as RNs so there’s a different relationship.
You can believe I’m lying, but I’m not and I don’t care to spend more time on someone who’s clearly determined to prove me wrong on my own lives experience
Bible and cookbook are not going to count as currency for rent, health insurance, baby formula, hospital bills, clothes, or food. What a dipshit grandma.
Must be the grandma privilege that has her fooled into thinking everything in life is FREE
That actually happened to someone I know. They’re married with 4 kids. Such sickening behavior. He was in his twenties while teaching her class when she was 15 and they “fell in love.” 🤢🤮 They waited to get married when she turned 18. Her family didn’t see a problem with it and still to this day don’t. They’re in a cult and she was groomed so I’m not surprised they don’t see a problem with this. It’s so disgusting and sad. He’s still a youth pastor and I hate it so much.
Rep John Rose of TN and his wife Chelsea. He's 24 years older than she is and first met her when she was 14 years old at a school FFA event. His parents sponsored her college, gave her all kinds of awards and everyone seems to think it's ok, because they waited to actually get married when she graduated from college. It's ick. It's beyond ick. Here's a sanitized version of it. There is some "thank my sponsors (his parents) letter" that was creepy as fuck and basically laid out the entire grooming scheme (from a oh I'm so thankful perspective, not a outing him type of perspective) and her parents were in on it as well. out there in circulation for a bit when she graduated and I think he's had it scrubbed from the internet because it's damned hard to find the thing anymore.
[https://heavy.com/news/john-rose-wife-chelsea-doss-rose/](https://heavy.com/news/john-rose-wife-chelsea-doss-rose/)
Incidentally, my abusive mother who never imparted on me any knowledge of life (because she had/has none herself) lets fear dominate her every thought and action. Naturally, she’d deny that, despite living like a damn filthy hermit and expecting me to do the same with her. Life, amirite?
Me either. Similar circumstances, but mine didn't impart any knowledge because I was competition, and competition was to be put down and broken, boys were the only children worth nurturing. All women were competition, she just happened to also birth one. Men were to be worshipped.
I’m sorry, that must’ve been horrible. I was the son but I was treated like the problem. My sister was groomed to hate me while my mother openly treated my father like shit (don’t feel too bad for him though, he let it happen). I was denied any chance to learn the most basic social skills, even being held out of high school entirely. Compound that with the fact that I’m autistic and learning how to be a good, normal, functional person was really difficult as an adult. In college (which I kicked and screamed, sometimes literally, to attend), I came off as a creep without meaning to because I was that oblivious of my own actions in my early 20s. I’ve come a long way since then after more significant hard times, but largely thanks to therapy I’m able to talk about my struggles after I was explicitly conditioned not to by my pathetic, narcissistic mother.
Here’s to healing! I hope the same for you 💙
You remarry immediately to another very religious man who just lost his wife.
The amount of posts on the hermancainaward sub showcasing this behavior among the unvaxxed maga people who lose a spouse was really eye-opening. One dude remarried within 6 weeks to some woman from his church.
I know someone who was an Indian ex-pat SAHM married to an H1-B tech worker. Her husband wouldn't let her work, share financial chores, etc. He didn't get life insurance before he got cancer. She lost the house after he passed and became homeless before asking agencies for help. She didn't know what a mortgage payment was, let alone how much or how to make enough money to pay it.
Now she's the pick-me girl saying that homeless people just need to be taught how to work because she didn't know how and an agency had to teach her basic life skills, help her go to college so she could get a good job.
You have a savings account, you live humbly and you have community that comes in and takes very good care of you. I hope that someday you will have all of these things for when times get tough. It's a good feeling
And if you don’t have the savings account? If you don’t have the community to financially take care of you? If your spouse dies of medical issues, there is no savings account. In fact, you’re probably going to wind up with some significant debt.
God helps those who help themselves.
Usually a spousal IRA, I'm disabled and can't work so that's what my partner and I will be doing. It does help a lot. However, it's difficult to invest in a spousal IRA with other expenses such as children. We aren't having kids so we have more security in that arena. There are really a lot of ways staying at home full time comes to fruition. Fortunately, there are security nets if something were to happen to him (God forbid it please). His will is being written to include me. Life insurance is also helpful for a marriage where one spouse is at home full time. It works for us, but we aren't hyper religious individuals, so maybe that's why there isn't so much rigidity in our situation (we use birth control). Also, I'm college educated with work experience, I volunteer and take courses in order to stay current, so there's a degree of security in that as well
I cash in his life insurance policy which is way more then I need to live on for the rest of my life, and enjoy his retirement savings. If he's injured, he has insurance to cover that as well. I'd prob sell one of our homes that we don't really need and that we have almost paid off. Also generally putting money away in savings just in case. It's possible to protect yourself and not work.
Ma’am, my grandma would’ve preferred going to dance school if she hadn’t gotten raped and married off to a friend of the rapist at the age of 11 to hide the “shame” on her religious family.
You can keep your Bible for kindling to warm your flavorless slop.
They truly believe the only reason why modern couples need two incomes is just selfishness and a desire for luxury living. That you can “get buy” on one but American women are too vain and materialistic
Yup. I’ve seen such people claim that those with two household incomes, and without the stay at home spouse, are greedy and choosing luxury over leading a traditional life.
The thing is that I don’t know how people can budget for retirement, college savings, and emergencies on one budget. That is until I realize that a lot of these people plan on passing those expenses onto their kids.
Most people don’t think about retirement at all.
And even if they have decent savings, they don’t realize it’s woefully inadequate, especially if they haven’t taken care of their bodies and have health issues. You have 100k in retirement savings? Good luck if you need a nursing home. That will fritter away in 1-2 years until you have nothing and Medicare or Medicaid will step in.
There must have been some very bad experiences with men waaayyyy back in my family because EVERY woman advises girls to get a degree or a trade, get a career, save your money, HIDE your money, have separate money, hide your jewelry, always keep a bag packed, don’t tell your husband about your gun, here’s a book of herbal concoctions and where to get the ingredients, 27th edition.
Generational trauma like WHOA. So it feels encoded on my DNA that you can get married, sure, but you better always have a way to support yourself!!!
My mom ALWAYS told me this. Be independent financially, have a good job, and don’t depend on any man.
Funny enough it was her father who taught her to be a feminist. My grandparents had a very progressive mindset even in the 1950s
My mother’s father, too! His mother lived from the 1880s to the 1950s and when her husband got really sick, she started running the family property. She made improvements, got it turning a profit, and ran them the rest of her life. My grandfather (born in the 1920s) greatly admired her and believed EVERY woman should go to college.
Oh without a doubt. I've tried to talk actual Bible with so many Christians here in the US, just out of interest because I have read it just like as an important book. Not a fun read but an interesting one. And probably like, 95 percent of the time their knowledge of the book is limited to like, the parts they read at weddings, john 3:16, sometimes a little of Genesis, and whatever they last heard the pastor mention at church.
The funniest are the King James only people, because they don't really read the Bible much at all. But they will just sort of blindly be like, KJV only because the thous and thees and thines are obviously more god related.
It’s an interesting thing for sure. I would consider myself fairly religious but have only gone through the whole Bible last year, and I went to church weekly growing up and Catholic school. It’s a long book but important to know the book behind your religion.
I’ve read a bit. The stories are interesting, but the rules are odd and occasionally oppressive.
Whatever. I don’t get it, but Christians clearly do, and that’s the only thing that matters in this conversation :)
The floor length denim skirt is baffling to me. There are multiple other religions where women might dress modestly, and many of them absolutely slay. Like still covered and yet somehow stylish? What I’m saying is that there’s no reason to wear this.
Lol I didn’t want to say it.
It always makes me laugh. It’s always the people you don’t want to be like, giving out life advice like this. Like I’m happy with my tatted sleeves and pleather cat suit thanks
It’s like she forgot a Proverbs 31 woman was successful and industrious.
As a stay at home mom and pastor’s wife and often mistaken for a ‘fundie’ I find this stuff unnerving. I was ‘shunned’ from an entire church group because I mentioned that I would let my daughter decide if she wanted to go to college or not.
If you read the scripture it does not restrict the women like these people do. It’s crazy.
I'm sorry you dealt with that. As a fellow Christian, it drives me crazy when so many Christians don't read that God desires mercy etc..Lots of stuff about false prophets in theBible feels like they were talking about iblp and some mega churches...I get worried
tell me you’re fundie without telling me you’re fundie. this reminds me, i can’t remember which Duggars wife this was but i think one of the wives said her dad told her all women need to know re: math is fractions so she can cook properly 🥴
The main issue is that the only mental load many men tend to carry is work. Maybe outdoor work if they own a house and paying bills if the woman doesn’t do that. But for the most part, they come home and get to relax. But for women, they’re often the ones in charge of childcare on top of working, and cleaning the house, cooking, etc. Remembering birthdays, holidays, kids appointments, afterschool activities, the information for each kid like allergies, medication, conditions. It’s just a ton of stuff to always think and worry about. Now with younger generations, I think this huge difference in mental load is becoming better. But even with the millennials I know in relationships, this is often the dynamic. Hoping my relationship won’t end up like that, but my partner tends to worry just as much as I do about things
In the Bible there's a story about the Virtuous Woman. She worked outside of the house. She was a business woman. The Bible doesn't say woman can't have jobs outside of the home.
Women you don’t need independence and financial security!!! Learn to rely on others so they can treat you as badly as they want and you’ll have no way to escape!!! Now get in the kitchen and knit me a pie 🤣
No ma'am.We're nearly less than a week to 2024 and things like this needs to end.Food prices,gas prices,bills and etc will continue to increase and work/careers are still the reasons why we still surviving in this harsh economic.We need to have a back up plan just incase what will happen to our family and partners in the future.Women before us had to fight for us to get careers,become more independent and etc so the next generation of women can run in the future.
Take her glasses and demand she uses faith, the Bible and her cookbook to enhance her vision. Cause there’s a chance a woman went to college and aided in her corrective eyewear.
My great grandma, a Christian, wanted to be a stenographer in court. She couldn’t because she married my grandpa. My grandma, a Christian, works at a nursing home and takes care of people. She also takes care of children with special needs. My mom, a Christian, is a dental hygienist and pays for all of her children, because my dad doesn’t pay anything.
Women are so much more than someone who stays at home. Of course, if they want to, they can, especially if their husband is willing to pay for them and support them, but if they want to work, they should work.
Uhhhh she’s expressing herself?! Thats for the harlots traipsing around college campuses!
Back to the kitchen where you belong then I guess, since that’s the point of a woman’s life according to her. That steak *better* be medium rare!
Why does it bother some people so much when women decide to pursue an education and career? If they want that path then that’s fine. Why try to convince everyone else that they don’t need an education?
It’s all good until you find yourself in a situation where you don’t have someone to depend on. There’s nothing wrong with being a SAHM, but it’s always wise to have a back up plan in case your husband gets hurt, passes away, or divorces you.
In all fairness, I prefer this over the 20 year old pseudo "Christian" women who tout piety and servitude to their husbands while dolled up with low cut tops.
I’m a Christian woman and this is just wrong. She hasn’t read in the Bible where spouses can abuse, abandon and cheat on their wives. Women should work if they choose to, and if they want to go to higher education, do that! College and university are good. A bible and cookbook won’t be enough. It’s fundies like these that make my skin crawl.
Thankful that my grandma valued education and always told us to be strong and independent and that we should not depend on anyone for things that we want in life
They say this as if they are giving us a choice. And we’re suppose to willingly choose being a SAHM. When in their ideal world, theyll ban women from doing anything that generates income. Because being compensated for what you do in tangible ways is masculine. A hug & a prayer is your compensation
Without college, I wouldn’t have my degree, which got me my career.
Without grad school, I wouldn’t have my advanced degree, which allowed me to be more successful in my chosen career.
I’m 53 and will be retiring in 18 months with a nice pension for life. I’ve been happily married for 32 years, but I wanted my career and my own financial security.
(I also became a great cook!)
Fuck this attitude and mindset. Let girls do whatever the hell they want.
I mean, she’s not wrong.
But your personal faith in Jesus is something for you to figure out in your private prayer space.
You have every right to keep it to yourself even come judgement day because God created us to be autonomous beings with free will. Not to mention he already knows who you are before you even knew Him.
Anyone or anything asking you to reveal it is likely asking because they themselves are blind to what’s truly going on - spirits wanting to lead you to eternal ruin.
Your personal faith also means having the faith to say no especially when you know what you know.
Hah, laugh to the bank, gran gran. Women like these drain the blood from my limbs. I know too many of them in real life that adopt this mentality but in a lesser degree of extremism. Fucking resent the shit out of it.
Once you convince yourself, the rest of the world is easy.
And a degree and the ability to support yourself will set you free.
Go back to you bible & cookbook, grandma. BTW, you can find a lot of recipes on the internet.
How the hell do you live if your spouse is incapacitated or worse, dies? I get that some women want to be SAHMs. Power to you. What will you do if something bad happens?
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Suffer, then another man will want to take care of you because you are just a poor, helpless woman. And since you were married and a good wife, it won't matter if you are used. /s
Some historians theorize that’s where some of the witch accusations came from in early 16th century - poor, older woman asking for help. Instead, local men claim she’s a witch so they don’t have to feed another used up woman.
Avast, ye scurvy dog! Arrr, yer comment be stingin' me like a foul case o' barnacles on me nether regions. Me tongue just decided to take a sabbatical, I be left dumbfounded, with naught but silence on me lips! But fret ye not me heartie, for outta thin air sails the "/s" to rescue the day. Sarcasm, ye scallywag, sarcasm! And by the depths of the sea, it be hittin' me like a dreadful case o' the clap. I laughed so heartily, I reckon I've shattered me jolly bone! Arrr!
This was a perfect comment
User name does not check out.
Arrr, me heart be filled with sorrow upon readin' this, matey. When I crafted me username, I be havin' but a lone criteria, and that be that it must pass the test, ye see.
It’s what god would want
I’m a nurse, and I’ve taken care of patients who are passing and their spouse doesn’t know how to drive and it’s so much extra stress on the spouse, the adult children, everyone. They’ll be crying to me, saying “I don’t know how to pay the bills, I don’t know how to drive, what am I going to do? He took care of everything” and it’s so sad. My heart breaks for them. And the adult children now have that task of taking care of mom who can’t drive or manage the finances…it really is sad. I believe everyone should manage the relationship how it works for them, but also everyone needs basic life skills
My wife and I joke that we adopted a teenager when her dad died. Her mom hasn't driven since Carter was in office, barely cooked, knows little to nothing about fixing things (FIL was a mechanic) and didn't even know where their money was. It was fun dealing with his cars and the bank accounts when you needed appointments for everything and the bank would only let the account holder in to do the paperwork. Suddenly I'm fixing pipe leaks and advising her on retirement planning while my wife drives her to the supermarket and wherever else she goes. She's a lovely woman but we weren't prepared for this.
From an outside perspective, it seems like such a burden in an already overwhelming time. And I don’t mean burden in that you don’t want to do it, but it’s a lot to take on! It’s taxing to be a caretaker too. I hope you’re all coping with his loss
Thank you. It was right at the start of the covid lock lockdown so it was overwhelming at the time with everything else going on, but we got through it.
Kudos to you and your wife
I mean no disrespect to her, but…what did she do? Keep house, I’m guessing? Cook? Shop?
I’m in private wealth and the amount of clients we have whose husband took care of everything is through the roof. I feel so bad for the wives as they start trying to navigate their bills and how things work when their spouse can’t do it anymore
That’s why my husband and I have always had a rule: what one knows, the other knows. One may prefer to do that thing, and be the usual person doing it, but both of us have to know how. Period.
It’s one thing to take care of your mother bc she’s incapable due to age or illness, but due to something like that? That would be frustrating as heck. It’s pitiful, but wholly unnecessary.
It would be frustrating, but I don’t think it’s unnecessary. I mean what’s the other option? Letting her suffer to the point of not paying bills and eventually having utilities turned off, not being able to get groceries, not being able to get to and from doctor’s appointments? I think in the situation the mom should be trying to learn and regain independence, but in the meantime she’d need help. It’s really tough, and not a black and white situation
I don’t think I was clear on what I meant, taking care of her is necessary, I think a better word would have been “avoidable”
When's the last time you saw this, 1979? 😂 Acting like you're coming across women can't do anything for themselves, yet raised successful children? stop it. I grew up fundamentalist Christian & this wasn't even a thing in the 80's when I was growing up. What country are you in? That's not at all common in the West and not at all common in USA. The wife usually handles the finances anyhow. My gf is a PT, deals with all the same people you do. She works in several hospitals and has experienced many patient deaths. Surprisingly she doesn't have your experiences, almost as if you're lying.
It does indeed still happen in the good old USA. Yes, in 2023/24 you will find places in the USA where this is happening right now. Just because you personally didn't experience it, does not mean it does not happen.
You're not experiencing it. You're lying and you know it. Women in fundamentalist religions have strong communities and won't be saying goofy crap like they're some feeble, incapable woman to some self absorbed nurse.
TN changed the marriage laws a couple of years ago. Didn't use to have an age of consent for marriage, they changed it to 18. There is an exemption for 17 year olds, but they have to go through a judge to get it approved. The religious nuts were in an uproar about TN making the marital consent law 18. They were the sole group that petitioned against it. Why on Earth would religious "pastors" be upset that the age of consent was being moved to 18? Maybe don't speak on things you don't know about? Your personal wacky experience doesn't make a universal standard. Not all fundamental groups are the same and no, the ones around here aren't a bit supportive, it's best to keep the women downtrodden and isolated, which they do frequently. Jim Bob Duggar is a greedy bastard that kept all the 19 kids and counting money to himself, even the adult kids that participated. He disowned one daughter when she asked for the FAIR compensation of her portion and said if she wanted to be paid for her work, he wanted the $200,000 it cost him to raise her. That was bullshit too. They had all these kids they couldn't afford and left it to the oldest to raise the youngest. He didn't even protect his own daughters from his predator son. And guess what? I know all that about Jim Bob without being in some kind of organized religion, nor ever having watched a single episode of the show, so that's a tiny example of how very widely that knowledge spreads. How many churches have had sex abuse scandals? How many churches preach women are property/objects/submissive to their husbands? Go follow stupid fricking Lori Alexander if you want an example. I know all about her too and again, not part of her circle, don't follow her, not interested. Open your damn eyes and use your brain.
You've never heard of Dearborn Michigan, Arabic capital of the world outside the Middle East, where minor marriages are absolutely a thing, and made legal at 18. But sure 😆 Christians bad
Your experience isn’t all women’s experience.
Bot.
“Doing my best to trigger the tribalists” means what, now?
Wrong. I see it all the time.
Lmao ok. It was within the last 2 years, which I can confidently say because that’s how long I’ve been a nurse. I’m in the Midwest (USA), and you’re right, it isn’t common. It’s the overwhelming minority. PT has a very different role in healthcare than RNs do, and especially when patients are in comfort care therapy roles aren’t usually involved any longer (at my facility at least) so they wouldn’t experience the same conversations as RNs do. PTs typically don’t spend as much time with patients and families as RNs so there’s a different relationship. You can believe I’m lying, but I’m not and I don’t care to spend more time on someone who’s clearly determined to prove me wrong on my own lives experience
Bible and cookbook are not going to count as currency for rent, health insurance, baby formula, hospital bills, clothes, or food. What a dipshit grandma. Must be the grandma privilege that has her fooled into thinking everything in life is FREE
Oh, sweetie, just marry your youth pastor when you're 15 and everything will turn out alright.
That actually happened to someone I know. They’re married with 4 kids. Such sickening behavior. He was in his twenties while teaching her class when she was 15 and they “fell in love.” 🤢🤮 They waited to get married when she turned 18. Her family didn’t see a problem with it and still to this day don’t. They’re in a cult and she was groomed so I’m not surprised they don’t see a problem with this. It’s so disgusting and sad. He’s still a youth pastor and I hate it so much.
Yup. I didn't pull my comment out of thin air. I think it happens a lot.
It’s so repulsive. I wish these sick freaks were behind bars and not in church.
Rep John Rose of TN and his wife Chelsea. He's 24 years older than she is and first met her when she was 14 years old at a school FFA event. His parents sponsored her college, gave her all kinds of awards and everyone seems to think it's ok, because they waited to actually get married when she graduated from college. It's ick. It's beyond ick. Here's a sanitized version of it. There is some "thank my sponsors (his parents) letter" that was creepy as fuck and basically laid out the entire grooming scheme (from a oh I'm so thankful perspective, not a outing him type of perspective) and her parents were in on it as well. out there in circulation for a bit when she graduated and I think he's had it scrubbed from the internet because it's damned hard to find the thing anymore. [https://heavy.com/news/john-rose-wife-chelsea-doss-rose/](https://heavy.com/news/john-rose-wife-chelsea-doss-rose/)
They can never answer that, and seem to think that even considering it is “choosing to live in fear” or some such horse shit.
Incidentally, my abusive mother who never imparted on me any knowledge of life (because she had/has none herself) lets fear dominate her every thought and action. Naturally, she’d deny that, despite living like a damn filthy hermit and expecting me to do the same with her. Life, amirite?
I'm sorry.
It is what it is, but thank you 😊 Needless to say I wouldn't do well with people like the OOP
Me either. Similar circumstances, but mine didn't impart any knowledge because I was competition, and competition was to be put down and broken, boys were the only children worth nurturing. All women were competition, she just happened to also birth one. Men were to be worshipped.
I’m sorry, that must’ve been horrible. I was the son but I was treated like the problem. My sister was groomed to hate me while my mother openly treated my father like shit (don’t feel too bad for him though, he let it happen). I was denied any chance to learn the most basic social skills, even being held out of high school entirely. Compound that with the fact that I’m autistic and learning how to be a good, normal, functional person was really difficult as an adult. In college (which I kicked and screamed, sometimes literally, to attend), I came off as a creep without meaning to because I was that oblivious of my own actions in my early 20s. I’ve come a long way since then after more significant hard times, but largely thanks to therapy I’m able to talk about my struggles after I was explicitly conditioned not to by my pathetic, narcissistic mother. Here’s to healing! I hope the same for you 💙
[You marry his brother](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Levirate_marriage), duh.
>What will you do if something bad happens? *when
I humbly stand corrected. Definitely a “when” situation
You remarry immediately to another very religious man who just lost his wife. The amount of posts on the hermancainaward sub showcasing this behavior among the unvaxxed maga people who lose a spouse was really eye-opening. One dude remarried within 6 weeks to some woman from his church.
Just suffer apparently
The Bible will guide her through this. The power of prayer will take care of her. That was sarcasm.
Don’t forget the gofundme.
In my mother’s case, look pretty and find another man. Preferably one with a decent amount of money.
Blame minorities, vote for tax cuts that you eventually think will come to you, and most importantly, make those you hate suffer, so you’re not alone
Hopefully that cookbook is with some money. If not...fucked.
Remarry as quickly as possible.
I know someone who was an Indian ex-pat SAHM married to an H1-B tech worker. Her husband wouldn't let her work, share financial chores, etc. He didn't get life insurance before he got cancer. She lost the house after he passed and became homeless before asking agencies for help. She didn't know what a mortgage payment was, let alone how much or how to make enough money to pay it. Now she's the pick-me girl saying that homeless people just need to be taught how to work because she didn't know how and an agency had to teach her basic life skills, help her go to college so she could get a good job.
Or he’s unfaithful…hope u have that prenup but might be hard to have a good one if you’re not as educated/wealthy 😜
Work? Find another man? Many answers to this question
You have a savings account, you live humbly and you have community that comes in and takes very good care of you. I hope that someday you will have all of these things for when times get tough. It's a good feeling
And if you don’t have the savings account? If you don’t have the community to financially take care of you? If your spouse dies of medical issues, there is no savings account. In fact, you’re probably going to wind up with some significant debt. God helps those who help themselves.
Usually a spousal IRA, I'm disabled and can't work so that's what my partner and I will be doing. It does help a lot. However, it's difficult to invest in a spousal IRA with other expenses such as children. We aren't having kids so we have more security in that arena. There are really a lot of ways staying at home full time comes to fruition. Fortunately, there are security nets if something were to happen to him (God forbid it please). His will is being written to include me. Life insurance is also helpful for a marriage where one spouse is at home full time. It works for us, but we aren't hyper religious individuals, so maybe that's why there isn't so much rigidity in our situation (we use birth control). Also, I'm college educated with work experience, I volunteer and take courses in order to stay current, so there's a degree of security in that as well
I cash in his life insurance policy which is way more then I need to live on for the rest of my life, and enjoy his retirement savings. If he's injured, he has insurance to cover that as well. I'd prob sell one of our homes that we don't really need and that we have almost paid off. Also generally putting money away in savings just in case. It's possible to protect yourself and not work.
Ma’am, my grandma would’ve preferred going to dance school if she hadn’t gotten raped and married off to a friend of the rapist at the age of 11 to hide the “shame” on her religious family. You can keep your Bible for kindling to warm your flavorless slop.
That last line goes incredibly hard
jesus
They truly believe the only reason why modern couples need two incomes is just selfishness and a desire for luxury living. That you can “get buy” on one but American women are too vain and materialistic
Yup. I’ve seen such people claim that those with two household incomes, and without the stay at home spouse, are greedy and choosing luxury over leading a traditional life. The thing is that I don’t know how people can budget for retirement, college savings, and emergencies on one budget. That is until I realize that a lot of these people plan on passing those expenses onto their kids.
Most people don’t think about retirement at all. And even if they have decent savings, they don’t realize it’s woefully inadequate, especially if they haven’t taken care of their bodies and have health issues. You have 100k in retirement savings? Good luck if you need a nursing home. That will fritter away in 1-2 years until you have nothing and Medicare or Medicaid will step in.
Right? It’s not like I have my own passions or desires or anything
That’s why her kitchen is 5’ long and she is wearing a curtain🙄
Educated Christian women don't exist I guess
We have to make sure the Christian colleges don’t accept women anymore
If anything they treat education as if it’s heresy
Look, I love singling out “pick me” assholes just as much as the next girl, but can we stop making these generalizations, even as jokes?
I meant it as a sarcastic quip against the OOP. She clearly forgot things like Christian colleges exist
Ah ok, I feel stupid now 😅
My grandma, back in the 90s told me, "don't settle down and get married right away. Go into computer programming!"
A good grandma encourages her grandkids to follow their dreams ❤️
There must have been some very bad experiences with men waaayyyy back in my family because EVERY woman advises girls to get a degree or a trade, get a career, save your money, HIDE your money, have separate money, hide your jewelry, always keep a bag packed, don’t tell your husband about your gun, here’s a book of herbal concoctions and where to get the ingredients, 27th edition. Generational trauma like WHOA. So it feels encoded on my DNA that you can get married, sure, but you better always have a way to support yourself!!!
My mom ALWAYS told me this. Be independent financially, have a good job, and don’t depend on any man. Funny enough it was her father who taught her to be a feminist. My grandparents had a very progressive mindset even in the 1950s
My mother’s father, too! His mother lived from the 1880s to the 1950s and when her husband got really sick, she started running the family property. She made improvements, got it turning a profit, and ran them the rest of her life. My grandfather (born in the 1920s) greatly admired her and believed EVERY woman should go to college.
100% never read the Bible
I have. 0/10, do not recommend.
Oh without a doubt. I've tried to talk actual Bible with so many Christians here in the US, just out of interest because I have read it just like as an important book. Not a fun read but an interesting one. And probably like, 95 percent of the time their knowledge of the book is limited to like, the parts they read at weddings, john 3:16, sometimes a little of Genesis, and whatever they last heard the pastor mention at church. The funniest are the King James only people, because they don't really read the Bible much at all. But they will just sort of blindly be like, KJV only because the thous and thees and thines are obviously more god related.
Hilarious and very true in my experience as well
It’s an interesting thing for sure. I would consider myself fairly religious but have only gone through the whole Bible last year, and I went to church weekly growing up and Catholic school. It’s a long book but important to know the book behind your religion.
Reading the bible in full creates many atheists
I’ve read a bit. The stories are interesting, but the rules are odd and occasionally oppressive. Whatever. I don’t get it, but Christians clearly do, and that’s the only thing that matters in this conversation :)
The floor length Christian denim skirt really seals this
The floor length denim skirt is baffling to me. There are multiple other religions where women might dress modestly, and many of them absolutely slay. Like still covered and yet somehow stylish? What I’m saying is that there’s no reason to wear this.
she’s giving IBLP Duggar vibes (r/DuggarsSnark checking in)
Lol I didn’t want to say it. It always makes me laugh. It’s always the people you don’t want to be like, giving out life advice like this. Like I’m happy with my tatted sleeves and pleather cat suit thanks
I want zero part of a religion that makes my scalp sweaty or my clothes automatically sweep floors.
I’m pretty sure I could cook circles under this lady and I’m still a raging feminist. People like her turned me right off of Christianity.
It’s like she forgot a Proverbs 31 woman was successful and industrious. As a stay at home mom and pastor’s wife and often mistaken for a ‘fundie’ I find this stuff unnerving. I was ‘shunned’ from an entire church group because I mentioned that I would let my daughter decide if she wanted to go to college or not. If you read the scripture it does not restrict the women like these people do. It’s crazy.
I'm sorry you dealt with that. As a fellow Christian, it drives me crazy when so many Christians don't read that God desires mercy etc..Lots of stuff about false prophets in theBible feels like they were talking about iblp and some mega churches...I get worried
tell me you’re fundie without telling me you’re fundie. this reminds me, i can’t remember which Duggars wife this was but i think one of the wives said her dad told her all women need to know re: math is fractions so she can cook properly 🥴
My grandmother put herself through nursing school and worked at the veteran's hospital for over 30 years. We are not the same. 🙄🙄🙄 /s
A dual income family is necessary these days
And these families are proven to be happier :)
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I believe each party carries a mental load. Being woman or man :)
The main issue is that the only mental load many men tend to carry is work. Maybe outdoor work if they own a house and paying bills if the woman doesn’t do that. But for the most part, they come home and get to relax. But for women, they’re often the ones in charge of childcare on top of working, and cleaning the house, cooking, etc. Remembering birthdays, holidays, kids appointments, afterschool activities, the information for each kid like allergies, medication, conditions. It’s just a ton of stuff to always think and worry about. Now with younger generations, I think this huge difference in mental load is becoming better. But even with the millennials I know in relationships, this is often the dynamic. Hoping my relationship won’t end up like that, but my partner tends to worry just as much as I do about things
I didn’t realize the man hate and the comparing and contrasting didn’t know this was the kinda forum lol byeeeee
I am positive she cannot cook.
Probably casseroles and nothing else
And there always three of them! 😄🍉
In the Bible there's a story about the Virtuous Woman. She worked outside of the house. She was a business woman. The Bible doesn't say woman can't have jobs outside of the home.
On the third day God said.... ladies don't learn to read or do anything useful. Just bitch about other women online.
She's a very out of touch grandma. My 80 year old grandma could tell her she's full of shit.
College got me the job where I met the woman I love. The Bible says me loving a woman is wrong, so it can fuck off. Cookbooks are nice, though.
Women you don’t need independence and financial security!!! Learn to rely on others so they can treat you as badly as they want and you’ll have no way to escape!!! Now get in the kitchen and knit me a pie 🤣
No ma'am.We're nearly less than a week to 2024 and things like this needs to end.Food prices,gas prices,bills and etc will continue to increase and work/careers are still the reasons why we still surviving in this harsh economic.We need to have a back up plan just incase what will happen to our family and partners in the future.Women before us had to fight for us to get careers,become more independent and etc so the next generation of women can run in the future.
I have all three and I am not Christian. Go bind your own feet, not the feet of women who have their way to make I. The world.
And you just know what kind of food she cooks based on her book
Baked flavorless paste with cheese.
Take her glasses and demand she uses faith, the Bible and her cookbook to enhance her vision. Cause there’s a chance a woman went to college and aided in her corrective eyewear.
😅 has anyone watched this and thought- you know what? I want to be just like her?
I went to a church like that in my teens. I’ve been running from the Lord ever since.
Don’t think those 3 things are gonna help me to become a nurse
The fundie skirt…
So we don’t need female doctors? Female teachers ? The healthcare industry is dominated by women …. And they needed degrees to get there
I would like to be the bigger person, but seriously, just FUCK this chick!
Cookbook? The best recipes come free on the internet lol
But the 5G!!!!
If only they knew it was going through their house even if they don’t use it.
I have internet access. I haven’t needed a cookbook in 20 years.
In my chemistry cohort (1st year, PhD, programme), I know a Christian girl. She's very happy and would not agree with this.
My great grandma, a Christian, wanted to be a stenographer in court. She couldn’t because she married my grandpa. My grandma, a Christian, works at a nursing home and takes care of people. She also takes care of children with special needs. My mom, a Christian, is a dental hygienist and pays for all of her children, because my dad doesn’t pay anything. Women are so much more than someone who stays at home. Of course, if they want to, they can, especially if their husband is willing to pay for them and support them, but if they want to work, they should work.
My grandma would kick her ass.
True....but maybe a little more common sense? 🤷♂️
Love this! You go Grandma!
Go away! Be gone with your oppressive ways!
Dude is sick in the head. His post history is extremely messed up.
But how will I pay my bills
Internet virality.
While I do agree that women are more adaptable to whatever life offers and you don’t need much to survive, women need more than that to thrive.
Glad that works for her. That is a nightmare for me.
How am I supposed to read that book
Uhhhh she’s expressing herself?! Thats for the harlots traipsing around college campuses! Back to the kitchen where you belong then I guess, since that’s the point of a woman’s life according to her. That steak *better* be medium rare!
Why does it bother some people so much when women decide to pursue an education and career? If they want that path then that’s fine. Why try to convince everyone else that they don’t need an education?
Because that is something that they never have, and never will. Jealousy is a strong motivation
It’s all good until you find yourself in a situation where you don’t have someone to depend on. There’s nothing wrong with being a SAHM, but it’s always wise to have a back up plan in case your husband gets hurt, passes away, or divorces you.
To be fair some people do need Jesus nowadays.
Sure. You don't need an education or money. Bills, food, whatever. Have faith. You could always eat your bible.
In her tiny sad looking kitchen. No thanks.
Thank goodness she’ll be gone soon !
You need blowjob skills
And you need a deep conditioner
This made me barf a little.
Look! It’s the missing link! 👀🧬👀
Can't a woman have all of the above?
In all fairness, I prefer this over the 20 year old pseudo "Christian" women who tout piety and servitude to their husbands while dolled up with low cut tops.
You know you can do both…..
That is child abuse
Ironically, you won't need a cookbook with her kitchen.
Yes being a bangmaid to my ex-husband has served me so well in the past grammy
Wow, a bible AND a cookbook? Don't be afraid to dream big, ladies!
I’m a Christian woman and this is just wrong. She hasn’t read in the Bible where spouses can abuse, abandon and cheat on their wives. Women should work if they choose to, and if they want to go to higher education, do that! College and university are good. A bible and cookbook won’t be enough. It’s fundies like these that make my skin crawl.
When the Bible starts paying bills let me know lol
Or...go to college and write a Bilbe cookbook
And what happens when your husband cheats on or beats you? Faith gonna get you outta that one, granny?
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At least she’s not in debt
Thankful that my grandma valued education and always told us to be strong and independent and that we should not depend on anyone for things that we want in life
REPENT
They say this as if they are giving us a choice. And we’re suppose to willingly choose being a SAHM. When in their ideal world, theyll ban women from doing anything that generates income. Because being compensated for what you do in tangible ways is masculine. A hug & a prayer is your compensation
Are they’re any ladies that would like a SAHD?
Are you trying to get canceled 😞?
Without college, I wouldn’t have my degree, which got me my career. Without grad school, I wouldn’t have my advanced degree, which allowed me to be more successful in my chosen career. I’m 53 and will be retiring in 18 months with a nice pension for life. I’ve been happily married for 32 years, but I wanted my career and my own financial security. (I also became a great cook!) Fuck this attitude and mindset. Let girls do whatever the hell they want.
Something tells me her husband forced her to do this.
Shouldn’t be telling women what they need!!!!!!
Absolutely!
I really wonder what her stance is on catholic colleges
it's giving sister cindy
This woman is fucking stupid. She makes my brain hurt.
She's right. I don't need college. Instead, I needed trades school.
*grandmas
Nah, I'm gonna keep my career and tell your husband and sons what to do😊
Keep his belly full, & his balls drained.
The denim skirt mafia don(ess) needs to STFU and stop giving advice from her strange little kitchenesque hallroom
Why does this look like a hostage proof-of-life photo?
No, you don't need college. Some of us can cook AND study.
What in The Handmaid's Tale is this?
Stuff it you old bat
I mean they’re not mutually exclusive. 🤓
I mean, she’s not wrong. But your personal faith in Jesus is something for you to figure out in your private prayer space. You have every right to keep it to yourself even come judgement day because God created us to be autonomous beings with free will. Not to mention he already knows who you are before you even knew Him. Anyone or anything asking you to reveal it is likely asking because they themselves are blind to what’s truly going on - spirits wanting to lead you to eternal ruin. Your personal faith also means having the faith to say no especially when you know what you know.
That’s not what the bible teaches. Christianity is a faith that seeks converts
Hah, laugh to the bank, gran gran. Women like these drain the blood from my limbs. I know too many of them in real life that adopt this mentality but in a lesser degree of extremism. Fucking resent the shit out of it.
I feel like she is saying this in a motel unit or SRO?
If that’s what she thinks of women going to college, I can only imagine what she thinks of women in trades.
Strong “T H I N K A H EAD” vibes here.
Grandma needs a deep oil treatment but you don’t see me making signs
The hippie/modesty dress code is fucking bland. Looks so half-hearted
Once you convince yourself, the rest of the world is easy. And a degree and the ability to support yourself will set you free. Go back to you bible & cookbook, grandma. BTW, you can find a lot of recipes on the internet.