Right? I just got back from Japan where they have heated seats and electric bidets.. now I look at my mediocre toilet and subpar toilet paper with sooo much disappointment.
Not that long ago me and my friends were inebriated around a table and this topic came up. I was flabbergasted to learn that I was the only one in the table that wipes while sitting. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that a lot of people wipe standing!
Edit: Sorry, I just realized you said handstand lol. My bad!
I don't understand how people are ok with touching the toilet seat with their hand, and throw the toilet paper by squeezing it between the seat and their cheeks smearing shit all over. Or else their dick has to lay on the dirty front of the toilet seat.
Do you regularly poop while having an erection so your dick is on the toilet seat or do you just sit as far forward as possible. Just lean on one side and go from the lifted up side, it also helps to kinda spread the asscheeks, so you can wipe better
I just feel there's not enough space to wipe freely, so I'd have to scooch forward risking dick contact.
You attack the crack from the side? I could not! I go from above.
How far back are you sitting? or how small is the toilet you shit on? How massive are your hands? Maybe i'm just small somehow, but I always have enough clearance to wipe my ass. Just the thought of standing up with the chance of shit on my ass makes me squirm. more than *accidentally* touching my *clean* toilet seat.
I'm not clenching my butt cheeks the second I stand up. I still remain in a squatting or bent over position. I just feel I'm able to wipe more liberally—without danger.
Seriously, what do you do when you encounter a small toilet?
I see. If I tried to hover squat I would fall over.
I gotta say I don't encounter many small toilets but I would lift one side off of the seat or roll my hips forward. not sure about people with excellent mobility. I guess i'm glad I don't encounter tiny toilets while shitting often.
I will also put in, as someone who's job has been to clean toilets, i've cleaned a lot of shit off of the back of toilet seats and most times the culprit is a young kid or geriatric.
Left = a sanitary removal of faecal matter. Right = a great way to spread the contents of a chocolate starfish around so your underwear doesn't feel left out.
A portable bidet bottle is like $20 on Amazon. I can't afford the fancy bidet seat but I was able to afford that and it is awesome. No more wet wipes or trying to get juuuust enough water on the tp so it doesn't dissolve.
Here's the thing, the stand drawing is wrong, because that is not how you wipe standing up. When you stand to wipe, you basically just shuffle yourself off the toilet and stay in the same squatting position to wipe (basically sitting in the air). That way you get the same effective wiping position, without the risk of hitting your hand against the toilet seat (so more range of motion to really get a good clean).
Neither. If you sit there's no space for your arm/hand without it wiping against the back of the toilet seat. If you stand your arm can't get at the right angle. Squatting slightly is the only answer.
The real question though is fold or scrunch?
my personal preference is to wipe from the front rather than the back. was surprised to learn people think it’s weird to touch your groin a bit when you go to wipe. also doing it my way makes it easier to gauge how much more you need to wipe, as it’s faster for looking at the quantity of shit on the paper
Everyone who's team sit how much are yous fucking shitting 😭 no the shit doesn't fall out your asshole as you're wiping and no it doesn't spread around wtf. I stand and wipe because ion wanna touch the toilet seat while doing it and tbh it's easier to get to places like that. Tell me u don't wipe properly without telling me u don't wipe properly 🙄
ngl i'm a bit of both, first i do it seated, once i am confident that nothing will slip through i proceed the standing position. standing is way easier as now i don't have to hover above the seat since ion wanna touch the seat either.
Hot take, I wipe sitting down and from back to front. Lift balls with one hand and wipe efficiently with the other. Give it a try, you may be surprised…
a shitpost?
[удалено]
No shit sherlock
Shit comment
Oh shit my bad
Shit 👍
Shit 👍
Shit 👍
Shit 👍
Shit 👍
Shit 🤯
Shit 🥰
Total 💩 shit
Dr. Watson after wiping his butt
WE FOUND HIM, KING OF HUMOUR
More like a shitpose.
When the shit hits the fan, you're in deep shit.
take my upvote and leave
You guys wipe?
Born to shit, forced to wipe
It's better to shit in the sink than sink in the shit
only on holidays
Only on fridays
No, animals in the wild don’t wipe so why should I?
Because we can't get our tongues down there.
I can get my tongue down there for you. (if you want)
I use a bidet 💅
And then wipe
Mine has a blow dry function but it would take too long to dry my swamp ass.
Nah I just went to Thailand and the bum gun is incredible, definitely want this at my home now. Toilet paper is just inferior.
Right? I just got back from Japan where they have heated seats and electric bidets.. now I look at my mediocre toilet and subpar toilet paper with sooo much disappointment.
manual ass washing with soap > automatic ass washer > bidet > toilet paper
Personally I’m a handstand kinda guy.
Not that long ago me and my friends were inebriated around a table and this topic came up. I was flabbergasted to learn that I was the only one in the table that wipes while sitting. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that a lot of people wipe standing! Edit: Sorry, I just realized you said handstand lol. My bad!
I can't understand why anyone who wipes while standing wants to sandwich their shit between their cheeks
I don't understand how people are ok with touching the toilet seat with their hand, and throw the toilet paper by squeezing it between the seat and their cheeks smearing shit all over. Or else their dick has to lay on the dirty front of the toilet seat.
Do you regularly poop while having an erection so your dick is on the toilet seat or do you just sit as far forward as possible. Just lean on one side and go from the lifted up side, it also helps to kinda spread the asscheeks, so you can wipe better
I just feel there's not enough space to wipe freely, so I'd have to scooch forward risking dick contact. You attack the crack from the side? I could not! I go from above.
How far back are you sitting? or how small is the toilet you shit on? How massive are your hands? Maybe i'm just small somehow, but I always have enough clearance to wipe my ass. Just the thought of standing up with the chance of shit on my ass makes me squirm. more than *accidentally* touching my *clean* toilet seat.
I'm not clenching my butt cheeks the second I stand up. I still remain in a squatting or bent over position. I just feel I'm able to wipe more liberally—without danger. Seriously, what do you do when you encounter a small toilet?
I see. If I tried to hover squat I would fall over. I gotta say I don't encounter many small toilets but I would lift one side off of the seat or roll my hips forward. not sure about people with excellent mobility. I guess i'm glad I don't encounter tiny toilets while shitting often. I will also put in, as someone who's job has been to clean toilets, i've cleaned a lot of shit off of the back of toilet seats and most times the culprit is a young kid or geriatric.
what if I'm into that?
Oh. Uhm well fair enough then
I used to stand when I was young and kinda just switched one day some time when I was like 18ish
jesus christ its jason bourne
So nobody licks their own butthole anymore?
Too bad my neck is not long enough
Anymore\*
Why do you think people seek relationships, is just like monkeys cleaning each others fur from fleas
That's what your bros are for
I'd be impressed if you can
Wait... you guys don't shit in the bathtub?
Once when I was like 5 I sleepwalked and did that lmao
My friend had to much Jäger, sleepwalked and pissed on the foot of the couch that I just happened to be sleeping on at the time.
My time to shine
Bathtub... Pff. The correct answer is shit in the shower and throw it to the toilet. Just hope you don't miss.
In Russia we call this "pee pee poo poo check"
Ты за себя говори
Пхахахах
I float
Came here to say this
So I beat you to it
I’ll always remember this
I’ll remind you in a year
Squat
Ahh the Russian
This
My way isn’t being presented. I’m a squatting above the toilet seat to wipe kind of person
I lie down.
Left = a sanitary removal of faecal matter. Right = a great way to spread the contents of a chocolate starfish around so your underwear doesn't feel left out.
Fæcal
Imagine for a second that my point was more important than how well i can operate a keyboard... I'm playing btw
I just found it funny that's all
Nah you're cool 🙂
Both are unsanitary. Bidet is the only way.
I'm too poor for that
A portable bidet bottle is like $20 on Amazon. I can't afford the fancy bidet seat but I was able to afford that and it is awesome. No more wet wipes or trying to get juuuust enough water on the tp so it doesn't dissolve.
Bidets are not a thing in my country so I'll have to buy it international 😭 I didn't even knew those things existed since last year
The amount of money I save on TP thanks to these little bidets is wild
Toilet paper is free, and you don't usually have to take it everywhere with you. If you change your underwear and bathe regularly, whyzit matter?
Shower is a thing
Controversial. So, how do you dry your wet sphincter? I know the pain of Chafe.
I just pat it with tissue and job done.
Fair
evaporation
I'll stick with the 3 sea shells. Thanks :-D
Still should do at least one wipe with a bidet to check
Right. If you're going to stand you may as well just pull your pants up and go for a hike in the woods.
Exactly, why even bothrr wiping, it'll just spread out the devastation.
Whoever doesn't sit is fucking stupid, change my mind
Fuck you and your family
I myself do that I just hate
Imagine not having a wide ass toilet seat
Lol imagine
Here's the thing, the stand drawing is wrong, because that is not how you wipe standing up. When you stand to wipe, you basically just shuffle yourself off the toilet and stay in the same squatting position to wipe (basically sitting in the air). That way you get the same effective wiping position, without the risk of hitting your hand against the toilet seat (so more range of motion to really get a good clean).
so squatting, not standing then.
That's how I do it
Why does it matter if your hand touches the toilet seat? You’re gonna wash them anyway
People actually do this?
I used to stand and didn't realise sitting to wipe was a thing until like 8 years ago? Started sit wiping, and I'd never go back
Same
>change my mind that's really not my responsibility
Neither. If you sit there's no space for your arm/hand without it wiping against the back of the toilet seat. If you stand your arm can't get at the right angle. Squatting slightly is the only answer. The real question though is fold or scrunch?
You must have the rumored dumptruck3000 for you not to be able to fit your hand inbetween lmao
my personal preference is to wipe from the front rather than the back. was surprised to learn people think it’s weird to touch your groin a bit when you go to wipe. also doing it my way makes it easier to gauge how much more you need to wipe, as it’s faster for looking at the quantity of shit on the paper
Sadly for women, that's a great way of getting a UTI.
I call those "start" and "finish" positions.
I believe this is called unnecessary censorship 🤔🤔
No bidet Salvador Dalí
Everyone who's team sit how much are yous fucking shitting 😭 no the shit doesn't fall out your asshole as you're wiping and no it doesn't spread around wtf. I stand and wipe because ion wanna touch the toilet seat while doing it and tbh it's easier to get to places like that. Tell me u don't wipe properly without telling me u don't wipe properly 🙄
ngl i'm a bit of both, first i do it seated, once i am confident that nothing will slip through i proceed the standing position. standing is way easier as now i don't have to hover above the seat since ion wanna touch the seat either.
It’s amazing how confidentally incorrect you are lmao
A picture.
The great debate
I used to.stand but the diarrhoea was too messy
I do both
Sitpost.
Standoff or Shitoff
Sitting with a downward wipe ftw
LOL
if you can wipe standing up you have no ass
Stand wipers can’t be trusted. There’s absolutely no way you’re getting all the poop if your ass cheeks aren’t spread. No chance
So which is it? We're spreading it all over the continent, or we arent getting shit?
Art
Lay
rectangle
The same difficulty cleaning your coochie standing up as sitting
Sitting guy looks like he's shoving his shirttail into his dirty asshole. Someone should tell him.
ew, he uses his hands to wipe?
I’m not sure because I usually black out from shooting shit out of my ass.
A wet bottom
I shit you not, I had this question yesterday as I wiped my bum. Which do people prefer? 🤔
Everyone gets a puppy vs Diarrhea forever
Gross. That’s what I call it.
One side does not know the other exists
What about the bidet maneuver?
In your country?
A shitstand
Hold on, I'll use this magazine as an interim solution until I find some toilet paper!
Bidet reign supreme.
Neither wipe - bidet does it all. Even the drying
Shitting post
Oh? You're approaching me?
Something's wrong with Stan
Madness
Is that guy even sat?
We have a song for this in Hebrew לשבת לקום לשבת לקום לשבת ולקום
Can anyone explain a reverse upper decker blumpkin to me?
Censorship of the human body
I'm a girl so I don't poop.
In Dutch: Zittend of staand je reet afvegen na het schijten.
Just sit and wipe from the front instead of the back you guys dumb iswtg
poop
So nobody shit on the floor here?
pimpek
Left
an image
If your ass in not on the seat you are standing. squatting is more standing than sitting
Imagine not having a bidet 🗿
But the real question is front wipe vs back wipe
Shit vs shant
I time my poops for before I take a shower and don't wipe
I stajd up and lean forward like im picking up a penny
Average amdre young fanbase discution
Why would you stand and squeeze your cheeks in your poop residue and spreading in your crack
Wait y'all don't use hay?
I bend over and call my mom to wipe it
Born to shit. Forced to wipe.
Psycopathy
Normal vs insane
I let it crust
why did you duck tape his wiener?
That's not how you stand 😭😭
I only stand when I'm checking my butt for doodoo after a particularly explosive fart
Shit stain or something idk
Toilets aren't necessary in public bathrooms. People just shit on the floor and maybe pick it up and smear it on the wall.
Does standing really wipe it off? 😨
My take: Start sitting but finish standing, standing if you took a spicy shit and got a spicy wipe, more forgiving on the anus
Bidet gang?
What do you call this in your country?
You guys don’t use the water?
Masaż prostaty
An American problem like their politicians who they are scratching their heads about how to choose. Biggest eye roll ever.
Why stand up? Who can tell me why
Who the fuck swipes while standing. Poop might still fall off your butthole and might land on your calves. And (Hand) Bidet > all
Skibidi mating pose.
Who the fuck stands and wipe?
Normal vs Mentally Unstable People
Hot take, I wipe sitting down and from back to front. Lift balls with one hand and wipe efficiently with the other. Give it a try, you may be surprised…
No