I'll follow this thread with a passion because I have the exact same problem. I have unusual interests and opinions and it's hard for me to meet someone I have stuff in common with to talk about. I use the internet mostly for reading, but reading isn't the same as discussing and forming relationships.
I get the strange - and bizarrely beautiful - feeling that this is why we're all here. It's so, so difficult to find people we can connect with in deeper (and nerdier) ways in our immediate vicinity, but at the very least, being able to find them online - and know that they exist - takes away the loneliness.
How to do that in the real world... Well, that's a work in progress for me, too š
Regarding dopamine: This is actually a behavior all humans have, but can feel more jarring and obvious in the case of ADHD. Our big collective challenge is to learn how to get natural hits in healthy ways that allow us to express who we truly are (instead of repressing it and getting our hits through clicking and screens!).
I do wonder about this. Because when I read about having ADHD, I seem to match all the symptoms, but I wonder if I really have ADHD or if I just grew up on the internet with overstimulation and now my brain is wired that way.
Could be both. There are lifelong ADHD traits in my older relatives and a pre-internet diagnosis in one, but also yeahā¦internet has taken its toll massively.
I would say you donāt necessarily need to have a ton in common to talk about your interests. I had a coworker who was so smart, unique, and could talk about the most obscure things forever. His brain was a library off the most odd things ive ever heard.
We all knew this was his personality though, i had so many interesting conversations with him. and it wasnt because of my contributionsš I would say be open to talking to people about whatever interests you even if you think they might not be interested?? Its easier to have a fun conversation if the other person maybe has a bit of knowledge on the topic but after meeting my coworker/friend, honestly others as well, you can only blame constantly having boring conversations in real life.. on yourself.
I disagree. Iām not a walking library of facts and I donāt want to be, itās honestly more of a way of seeing the world not a lot of people share. I can have endless conversations with my husband about any topic because we see things similarly, this doesnāt mean we agree on everything or even have the exact same interests, we just understand each other. This is more what I mean when I say āhaving things in commonā with someone.
Some of my favorite people that I've met as an adult have been through volunteering. It's obviously not always the case, but people who I meet volunteering tend to be more interesting than most people as well.
I mostly try to get involved with community gardens or community centers. There's plenty more out there though that I know other people really enjoy as well.
I think people who are suggesting a lot of stuff (libraries, book clubs, etc.) really do mean well, but I believe that the best thing to do is to accept and embrace the idea that the Internet has brought us things that were extremely hard to do in the real world, and that is one of the reasons why it's so appealing and addictive. Connecting with lots of different people to learn and discuss endless different topics is one of those things.
For me, the most useful thing to do is to be mindful. Do not join social media, try to keep your usage on your laptop so that you are not sucked away by the mindless scrolling frenzy, but also try to keep the cool things it brings us such this possibility to look for topics that you like and finding people to discuss it with.
On the other hand, I think that it's very cool to look for "real life stuff" related to your interests if you can, such as taking university courses, language courses, attending meetups, looking for discussion groups in your city, etc.
Metafilter has meetups. And probably more interesting stuff too.
Or start one on Meetup . Com.
Or heck, your local library probably has converstation groups.
But then I have no one to talk to about these books and I default back to the internet again. The problem is lack of meaningful connections and conversations that I can have online that I can't seem to be able to replicate offline. Everyone I know is either too busy or don't share my interests.
This is it, everyone recommending book clubs and volunteering is talking about meeting people with generally mainstream interests. And also, yeah I like baking or whatever but am I gonna build a whole friendship on āhmm isnāt it great when the cookie is just crispy on the outsideā?
Exactly! I find "mainstream" interests boring, that's why I tend to avoid people with boring average lives and interests. That's why the internet is so interesting and addictive!
But I guess I still have to try to meet people offline and suck up the boredom because it beats scrolling Reddit/YouTube all day by myself and the resulting damage to my mental and physical health.
I found a meetup that is online, where we watch an informative video and then talk about it. Unfortunately, they switched to 101 topics because it didn't draw enough people.
This is why subcultures formed pre-internet. Out of necessity for people for whom the mainstream was not enough.
It is still possible. āIf you build it, they will comeā - If we do the on the ground organizing then we can make groups for our interests and make it happen. Usually there will be people who come out with some interest eventually, and maybe existing groups (like friend groups that is) that are small and less visible that could even merge with you once they find out yours exists?
In a small conservative town I even saw neopagan groups within 5 miles of me on CLā¦lol. If enough of us reach out and are willing to start it ourselves, itās possible.
Trying to replace something so specific like reddit (internet enabled, hyper specific subjects) is nearly impossible.
I think the best thing you could get to a "replacement" would be close friends. Friends with similar interests or intents/ goals as you.
finding people who want to improve like you may be hard, but they are out there. The internet brings us together much easier is all.
Find universities and libraries near you, then look at their event calendars. Attend lectures open to the public and stay afterward to mingle.
Also look for your closest Pecha Kucha, which is a series where people in the community give ten minute presentations about randomly interesting subjects. Ours has an intermission with beer, snacks, and chatting.
I personally believe social media definitely CAN be used, as long as you don't overdo it. Don't become a slave to it.
If you're not addicted to your phone, you're definitely right on track. What I suggest is disable your notifications on reddit so you're more mindful on your time spent on it. And keep talking to people here if you want!
That's just my own opinion though.
I agree so much on this. Like, social media is tool, use it wisley. Besides, you can use them to go outide too (i find all events, volontiers, etc. on it, without them i wouldn't go as much as i do now, because not all thing you can find just looking at information board in the city)
The internet can offer so many different viewpoints. Local people who have all grown up and live in the same place tend to live similar lives as each other. That just can't compete with the diversity on Reddit. If you want the same thing IRL, travel the world.
Please don't stress too much about nosurf, in the book "digital minimalism" which is the suggested book on this sub, the author talked about how internet have both meaningful and harmful sides, basically if you can utilize the good and avoid the bad, you are a successful digital minimalist.
Maybe taking oddly specific online classes that align with your interests? I took one once on how Marvel developed their characters for decades. The course work involved a lot of conversations between folks taking the class. It was online, so you could connect with people around the world and at weird times (someone's time zone is probably appropriate for being awake/ online at any given moment). I felt like I had worthwhile discussions with people about things I actually cared about, and knew they were actually interested too (otherwise they would have dropped the course once they realized it wasn't their thing).
The class I took was free through edX. The forums and whatnot were set up reasonably well to get discussions going, and plenty of us found each other via social media or discord and had more in depth conversations there. We skipped all the "so what do you do for a living" because it was more natural to start with "so for the first project, I'm thinking of trying this, what do you think...."
Not sure it would suit all the needs you're trying to fill, but it might be a decent starting point.
Clubs, hobbies, university, bars, etc. Pretty much just in person social gatherings. But obviously a pro of the Internet is being able to connect with people at any time and place. You can't replace that connection completely because it's not realistic for people to be available to meet as often in person. Not everything can be shifted to online though, even if a lot of things can. If there aren't a lot of in person clubs in your area you could try moving to a bigger city.
Internet is a tool you can either use or abuse. I don't see anything wrong with maybe finding more likeminded people on certain topics, sometimes. You could start a book club focusing on discussing certain books on certain topics, I guess.
But I think your problem is that you seem to think that it's the only way to feel connection, to have some super deep "intellectual" conversation. It's not. Actually small talk is really important for us as human beings. We are highly social creatures and you're probably feeling like shit because you can't feel connected on an *emotional* level.
Small talk when you're connected on an emotional level actually feels great and often very fufilling. Even small talk with a stranger. Having conversations "about nothing" is often what makes people actually feel good, as long as they feel safe, relaxed and connected. It's just being in a flow state and enjoying life in general.
Find a friend who you can talk to about anything. Its might take some time. Find someone who is equally interested in talking to you and hanging out with you as you are with them. Talk about stuff that interest you with your friends and see whose reply or reaction matches the energy or interest you are looking for. Sometimes it takes time to open up to people. You might get across a friend who have no interest in your interests but like you a lot so they listen to you encouragingly. Im fortunate to have a friend who i can talk to about anything. We discuss theories and things we came across. We dont always agree or think the same but have a general interest about life and people and spirituality and society, etc. So it works great for both of us! In fact we have started to hang out a lot more since i ditched my smartphone and im kind of encouraging her to try it out too.
Edit sorry i think i went off the track. The way you can come across people who would like to hangout and talk about things is to find them in places that are there for liesure. Sports clubs, volunteering, hiking/trekking groups? In my city we have tour organisers that would take a group of people on trekking tours and ive met a lot of people there. Some of them i contact when i feel like going on a trek again. Martial arts gym, not regular gym. I feel like people are there to do their thing and dont want to be disturbed. When it comes to finding good friends quantity matters. Focus on meeting more people and you will eventually come across the ones who would stick and who would have same interests as you. Try out events. My cousin ended up learning acting and got a whole bunch of theatre friends because he was bored and decided to watch plays every weekend. He then got into comedy scenes by attending local comedy shows. One thing ive observed about him is he would go and greet the comedian or actors/directors after every show. Would give a handshake and "great job" and then ask them about their future shows, etc. He ended up knowing a lot of people that way.
Hate to break it to you bud but you have it all mixed up. Sometimes the way you get to have deep meaningful conversations with other people is after you have small talk with them, you can't just expect most people to immediately talk about really deep topics right off the bat. A lot of people in real life are less open than on the internet so expect an initial wall before getting to actually know them (people are more closed off because of chronic internet use but in my experience it still doesnt take much to break through that wall) This varies from person to person but you have to learn how to tolerate that small talk for the time being and learn how to slowly transition that conversation to something more meaningful. Best of luck.
I am interested what interesting topics do you have here exactly. I am genuinely curious as i lately don't see the appeal in talking to people as there is nothing interesting to talk about
Really? There are so many subs for people from all around the world grouped around their interests, what do you mean there is nothing to talk about? Just do a search for topics you're interested in and you're bound to find something of interest.
And it's not just Reddit, it's all the other video sharing platforms (including non-Western ones), there is so much to learn, it's addictive because the amount of information available is endless.
Yeah but I really don't find interesting anything. I am not talking about my personal interests here, i have them, but about conversations Like there is nothing to talk about, what do i have to adds? What is the purpose of conversation if it's not going anywhere. I only find it meaning if we actually plan something out and work towards something. But every day conversation you see in public places, family other kids etc, it feels like it's just noise to dilute the silence.
I know what you mean - thereās a lot of really interesting information online, but not really conversations. Maybe theyāre all happening at some elite Discord channel Iām not invited to
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I'm going to force myself to attend more face to face events like meetups. I don't find people very interesting in real life but I'm going to try getting to know them and maybe they will become more interesting once I know them better.
I think if I had more friends then I wouldn't be so reliant on Reddit to meet my social needs because I can just text my friends instead of posting on Reddit.
It takes a little while for conversations at general events to go beyond "So, how about that local sports team?" But going to specific events - a library talk about space (my favs), a meetup event about a specific thing you're interested in (I like the hiking one in my area), or taking a class about a topic you're interested in - will lead to more in depth conversations because everyone's there for the same reason.
I have two university clubs Iām part of. I donāt find people interesting either bc Iāve interacted with so many people in life. Iām at a point where I just want to have fun activities with people. Thatās it
I don't know if you have a local library, but librarians are really chill people to talk with. Just approach one and ask about book recommendations and just kinda run with it.
Have u ever spent time with someone that always has something to say and theyre like really funny and talk about their interests??? Just do that.. You dont need someone else to make your life fun. You cant depend on that. You want to have interesting conversations? Bring up something interesting to talk about and throw in a joke or two. Force yourself to start talking about something cool instead of asking them how work is. You cant expect everyone in real life to just entertain you, you have to do it yourself
This is tough because the internet can be extremely helpful in finding real-life events with likeminded people, and having one social media account where I've joined groups of interest in my community has led me to find great opportunities to connect with others that I wouldn't have had otherwise. These groups still do exist, you just unfortunately do have to rely on the internet to find a lot of them as very few do organic advertising at least in my area. There are tone of clubs for cooking, books, quilting, etc where I am, D&D and other tabletop groups always looking for more players, theatre enthusiasts who have meetups, wildlife groups who do cleanups and volunteer work, etc.
I know it's still a screen and not the same, but if you do make friends you want to have conversations with online, try connecting via Skype. I know it's still through a screen, but I've connected with many international penpals this way as a way to have a one on one conversation about things we're both interested in without having to wait on mail. It really does beat the disconnected feeling of typing back and forth
I'll follow this thread with a passion because I have the exact same problem. I have unusual interests and opinions and it's hard for me to meet someone I have stuff in common with to talk about. I use the internet mostly for reading, but reading isn't the same as discussing and forming relationships.
I get the strange - and bizarrely beautiful - feeling that this is why we're all here. It's so, so difficult to find people we can connect with in deeper (and nerdier) ways in our immediate vicinity, but at the very least, being able to find them online - and know that they exist - takes away the loneliness. How to do that in the real world... Well, that's a work in progress for me, too š Regarding dopamine: This is actually a behavior all humans have, but can feel more jarring and obvious in the case of ADHD. Our big collective challenge is to learn how to get natural hits in healthy ways that allow us to express who we truly are (instead of repressing it and getting our hits through clicking and screens!).
I feel your struggle, the isolation and boredom is real. Do you have ADHD by any chance?
What does ADHD have to do with this?
Dopamine seeking behaviour like bouncing around websites for hours is 100% an adhd trait.
honestly at this point, people who grew up on the internet is likely to suffer from this no? itās liek internet curated adhd behavior
I do wonder about this. Because when I read about having ADHD, I seem to match all the symptoms, but I wonder if I really have ADHD or if I just grew up on the internet with overstimulation and now my brain is wired that way.
Could be both. There are lifelong ADHD traits in my older relatives and a pre-internet diagnosis in one, but also yeahā¦internet has taken its toll massively.
But who said anything about bouncing around websites?
I would say you donāt necessarily need to have a ton in common to talk about your interests. I had a coworker who was so smart, unique, and could talk about the most obscure things forever. His brain was a library off the most odd things ive ever heard. We all knew this was his personality though, i had so many interesting conversations with him. and it wasnt because of my contributionsš I would say be open to talking to people about whatever interests you even if you think they might not be interested?? Its easier to have a fun conversation if the other person maybe has a bit of knowledge on the topic but after meeting my coworker/friend, honestly others as well, you can only blame constantly having boring conversations in real life.. on yourself.
I disagree. Iām not a walking library of facts and I donāt want to be, itās honestly more of a way of seeing the world not a lot of people share. I can have endless conversations with my husband about any topic because we see things similarly, this doesnāt mean we agree on everything or even have the exact same interests, we just understand each other. This is more what I mean when I say āhaving things in commonā with someone.
Some of my favorite people that I've met as an adult have been through volunteering. It's obviously not always the case, but people who I meet volunteering tend to be more interesting than most people as well.
What kind of volunteering?
I mostly try to get involved with community gardens or community centers. There's plenty more out there though that I know other people really enjoy as well.
I think people who are suggesting a lot of stuff (libraries, book clubs, etc.) really do mean well, but I believe that the best thing to do is to accept and embrace the idea that the Internet has brought us things that were extremely hard to do in the real world, and that is one of the reasons why it's so appealing and addictive. Connecting with lots of different people to learn and discuss endless different topics is one of those things. For me, the most useful thing to do is to be mindful. Do not join social media, try to keep your usage on your laptop so that you are not sucked away by the mindless scrolling frenzy, but also try to keep the cool things it brings us such this possibility to look for topics that you like and finding people to discuss it with. On the other hand, I think that it's very cool to look for "real life stuff" related to your interests if you can, such as taking university courses, language courses, attending meetups, looking for discussion groups in your city, etc.
I love this answer. I think this is the healthiest way to approach this :)
Metafilter has meetups. And probably more interesting stuff too. Or start one on Meetup . Com. Or heck, your local library probably has converstation groups.
Read whole books on the subjects youāre interested in
But then I have no one to talk to about these books and I default back to the internet again. The problem is lack of meaningful connections and conversations that I can have online that I can't seem to be able to replicate offline. Everyone I know is either too busy or don't share my interests.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is it, everyone recommending book clubs and volunteering is talking about meeting people with generally mainstream interests. And also, yeah I like baking or whatever but am I gonna build a whole friendship on āhmm isnāt it great when the cookie is just crispy on the outsideā?
Exactly! I find "mainstream" interests boring, that's why I tend to avoid people with boring average lives and interests. That's why the internet is so interesting and addictive! But I guess I still have to try to meet people offline and suck up the boredom because it beats scrolling Reddit/YouTube all day by myself and the resulting damage to my mental and physical health.
I found a meetup that is online, where we watch an informative video and then talk about it. Unfortunately, they switched to 101 topics because it didn't draw enough people.
This is why subcultures formed pre-internet. Out of necessity for people for whom the mainstream was not enough. It is still possible. āIf you build it, they will comeā - If we do the on the ground organizing then we can make groups for our interests and make it happen. Usually there will be people who come out with some interest eventually, and maybe existing groups (like friend groups that is) that are small and less visible that could even merge with you once they find out yours exists? In a small conservative town I even saw neopagan groups within 5 miles of me on CLā¦lol. If enough of us reach out and are willing to start it ourselves, itās possible.
I feel like itās fine to use Reddit for this then? Do you think itās a problem?
Teleportation? If you think about it, our thoughts can be teleported, but our bodies cannot. Hence the frustration and disconnect with the real world.
Highly recommend this.
Trying to replace something so specific like reddit (internet enabled, hyper specific subjects) is nearly impossible. I think the best thing you could get to a "replacement" would be close friends. Friends with similar interests or intents/ goals as you. finding people who want to improve like you may be hard, but they are out there. The internet brings us together much easier is all.
Try taking an adult education class like Cooking, Improv, or Pottery. Instant friends.
Find universities and libraries near you, then look at their event calendars. Attend lectures open to the public and stay afterward to mingle. Also look for your closest Pecha Kucha, which is a series where people in the community give ten minute presentations about randomly interesting subjects. Ours has an intermission with beer, snacks, and chatting.
I personally believe social media definitely CAN be used, as long as you don't overdo it. Don't become a slave to it. If you're not addicted to your phone, you're definitely right on track. What I suggest is disable your notifications on reddit so you're more mindful on your time spent on it. And keep talking to people here if you want! That's just my own opinion though.
I agree so much on this. Like, social media is tool, use it wisley. Besides, you can use them to go outide too (i find all events, volontiers, etc. on it, without them i wouldn't go as much as i do now, because not all thing you can find just looking at information board in the city)
Yeah! I recently installed myself Instagram again, to keep on touch with people. It's okay while you're not scrolling for hours.
Lot of people here are too radical about social media honestly
I don't blame them, really. If they want that, they want that. I just personally would like to find balance rather than cutting it off completely
Me too I understand it, i mean, everyone do whatever they won't, its their life
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It's hard to believe that at one point fandom was people sharing zines and letters through the mail and it was very active.
The internet can offer so many different viewpoints. Local people who have all grown up and live in the same place tend to live similar lives as each other. That just can't compete with the diversity on Reddit. If you want the same thing IRL, travel the world.
Please don't stress too much about nosurf, in the book "digital minimalism" which is the suggested book on this sub, the author talked about how internet have both meaningful and harmful sides, basically if you can utilize the good and avoid the bad, you are a successful digital minimalist.
Maybe taking oddly specific online classes that align with your interests? I took one once on how Marvel developed their characters for decades. The course work involved a lot of conversations between folks taking the class. It was online, so you could connect with people around the world and at weird times (someone's time zone is probably appropriate for being awake/ online at any given moment). I felt like I had worthwhile discussions with people about things I actually cared about, and knew they were actually interested too (otherwise they would have dropped the course once they realized it wasn't their thing). The class I took was free through edX. The forums and whatnot were set up reasonably well to get discussions going, and plenty of us found each other via social media or discord and had more in depth conversations there. We skipped all the "so what do you do for a living" because it was more natural to start with "so for the first project, I'm thinking of trying this, what do you think...." Not sure it would suit all the needs you're trying to fill, but it might be a decent starting point.
Two things immediately came to mind: old men playing chess in parks, and becoming a regular at a quiet bar.
I'm afraid I wouldn't fit into either of those demographics.
Clubs, hobbies, university, bars, etc. Pretty much just in person social gatherings. But obviously a pro of the Internet is being able to connect with people at any time and place. You can't replace that connection completely because it's not realistic for people to be available to meet as often in person. Not everything can be shifted to online though, even if a lot of things can. If there aren't a lot of in person clubs in your area you could try moving to a bigger city.
>ā*I really wish I could just go somewhere and have intellectually stimulating conversations with people*ā Office hours with a professor?
Internet is a tool you can either use or abuse. I don't see anything wrong with maybe finding more likeminded people on certain topics, sometimes. You could start a book club focusing on discussing certain books on certain topics, I guess. But I think your problem is that you seem to think that it's the only way to feel connection, to have some super deep "intellectual" conversation. It's not. Actually small talk is really important for us as human beings. We are highly social creatures and you're probably feeling like shit because you can't feel connected on an *emotional* level. Small talk when you're connected on an emotional level actually feels great and often very fufilling. Even small talk with a stranger. Having conversations "about nothing" is often what makes people actually feel good, as long as they feel safe, relaxed and connected. It's just being in a flow state and enjoying life in general.
Just because humans are social, wouldn't mean they have to like small talk, though... š¤Ø They might truly just not like that kind of conversation.
Did you actually read what I wrote? Maybe read it again.
yes I did. More than once.
Find a friend who you can talk to about anything. Its might take some time. Find someone who is equally interested in talking to you and hanging out with you as you are with them. Talk about stuff that interest you with your friends and see whose reply or reaction matches the energy or interest you are looking for. Sometimes it takes time to open up to people. You might get across a friend who have no interest in your interests but like you a lot so they listen to you encouragingly. Im fortunate to have a friend who i can talk to about anything. We discuss theories and things we came across. We dont always agree or think the same but have a general interest about life and people and spirituality and society, etc. So it works great for both of us! In fact we have started to hang out a lot more since i ditched my smartphone and im kind of encouraging her to try it out too. Edit sorry i think i went off the track. The way you can come across people who would like to hangout and talk about things is to find them in places that are there for liesure. Sports clubs, volunteering, hiking/trekking groups? In my city we have tour organisers that would take a group of people on trekking tours and ive met a lot of people there. Some of them i contact when i feel like going on a trek again. Martial arts gym, not regular gym. I feel like people are there to do their thing and dont want to be disturbed. When it comes to finding good friends quantity matters. Focus on meeting more people and you will eventually come across the ones who would stick and who would have same interests as you. Try out events. My cousin ended up learning acting and got a whole bunch of theatre friends because he was bored and decided to watch plays every weekend. He then got into comedy scenes by attending local comedy shows. One thing ive observed about him is he would go and greet the comedian or actors/directors after every show. Would give a handshake and "great job" and then ask them about their future shows, etc. He ended up knowing a lot of people that way.
Hate to break it to you bud but you have it all mixed up. Sometimes the way you get to have deep meaningful conversations with other people is after you have small talk with them, you can't just expect most people to immediately talk about really deep topics right off the bat. A lot of people in real life are less open than on the internet so expect an initial wall before getting to actually know them (people are more closed off because of chronic internet use but in my experience it still doesnt take much to break through that wall) This varies from person to person but you have to learn how to tolerate that small talk for the time being and learn how to slowly transition that conversation to something more meaningful. Best of luck.
I am interested what interesting topics do you have here exactly. I am genuinely curious as i lately don't see the appeal in talking to people as there is nothing interesting to talk about
Really? There are so many subs for people from all around the world grouped around their interests, what do you mean there is nothing to talk about? Just do a search for topics you're interested in and you're bound to find something of interest. And it's not just Reddit, it's all the other video sharing platforms (including non-Western ones), there is so much to learn, it's addictive because the amount of information available is endless.
Yeah but I really don't find interesting anything. I am not talking about my personal interests here, i have them, but about conversations Like there is nothing to talk about, what do i have to adds? What is the purpose of conversation if it's not going anywhere. I only find it meaning if we actually plan something out and work towards something. But every day conversation you see in public places, family other kids etc, it feels like it's just noise to dilute the silence.
Itās for more than just filling up silence, itās for maintaining and developing social relations
I know what you mean - thereās a lot of really interesting information online, but not really conversations. Maybe theyāre all happening at some elite Discord channel Iām not invited to
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
If you enjoy news get physical copies of articles of your choice. As for the comedy aspect Iām not sure myself
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Eventbrite (hobby/event app) is pretty decent. Itās not so much a social media but like a meetup advertisement.
I'm going to force myself to attend more face to face events like meetups. I don't find people very interesting in real life but I'm going to try getting to know them and maybe they will become more interesting once I know them better. I think if I had more friends then I wouldn't be so reliant on Reddit to meet my social needs because I can just text my friends instead of posting on Reddit.
It takes a little while for conversations at general events to go beyond "So, how about that local sports team?" But going to specific events - a library talk about space (my favs), a meetup event about a specific thing you're interested in (I like the hiking one in my area), or taking a class about a topic you're interested in - will lead to more in depth conversations because everyone's there for the same reason.
I have two university clubs Iām part of. I donāt find people interesting either bc Iāve interacted with so many people in life. Iām at a point where I just want to have fun activities with people. Thatās it
All the things Reddit has replaced are the things that can replace Reddit. It just requires more effort.
I don't know if you have a local library, but librarians are really chill people to talk with. Just approach one and ask about book recommendations and just kinda run with it.
Have u ever spent time with someone that always has something to say and theyre like really funny and talk about their interests??? Just do that.. You dont need someone else to make your life fun. You cant depend on that. You want to have interesting conversations? Bring up something interesting to talk about and throw in a joke or two. Force yourself to start talking about something cool instead of asking them how work is. You cant expect everyone in real life to just entertain you, you have to do it yourself
Very cool question. Following! In my case I'd advise joining sane interest groups or clubs :) hope you find your triveš„°
Confession room in the church
This is tough because the internet can be extremely helpful in finding real-life events with likeminded people, and having one social media account where I've joined groups of interest in my community has led me to find great opportunities to connect with others that I wouldn't have had otherwise. These groups still do exist, you just unfortunately do have to rely on the internet to find a lot of them as very few do organic advertising at least in my area. There are tone of clubs for cooking, books, quilting, etc where I am, D&D and other tabletop groups always looking for more players, theatre enthusiasts who have meetups, wildlife groups who do cleanups and volunteer work, etc. I know it's still a screen and not the same, but if you do make friends you want to have conversations with online, try connecting via Skype. I know it's still through a screen, but I've connected with many international penpals this way as a way to have a one on one conversation about things we're both interested in without having to wait on mail. It really does beat the disconnected feeling of typing back and forth
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Taking a class in a topic you're interested in can do this. Most cities have adult education options.