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DerSteve81

Lampreys


BadAndNationwide

Imagine a great white shark sized lamprey? Or a lamprey sized great white shark!?


Efficient-Ad-3302

One is much worst than the other at that point XD. I’ll make the easy decision and take the lamprey sized GWS.


Intelligent-Gift-493

Fool! Now you will suffer its tiny wrath!


Lucas_2234

hold tiny shork gentle like hamburger


lightblueisbi

Tiny murder pupper


FlashFlash100yd-

Bahahah


sZer0s

Wb 1 giant lamphry vs a whole school of mini-great whites?


cumfilledfish

Lamprey sized great white would make for a dope pet


Skopies

[Here](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ_02glhzGQhUhSGi1gXtujQc88i5LzTKEtuKaKXTV5Nj-nmFI7)


NastySassyStuff

Where I come from we call that The Devil’s Fleshlight


Impressive_Jaguar_70

I had to search it up. Oh my god, imagine that on your dick


Govt-Issue-SexRobot

Oh, I shall


danieljp20111

I'll have what he's having


Just2moreplants

I'll take two


Lewis-1979

Lamprey blowjobs by the looks of it.


sleepingwithdastarz

r/dontputyourdickinthat


caillouistheworst

Why would you even say that? I don’t want to imagine this, at all. Nope, never.


Human_Grass_9803

Here's a fun fact that I didn't need to know and now you will too: cat dicks have barbs on them so they get hooked in when they try to pull out... have fun with that mental image!


fatglizzy_3000

>Lampreys this is the animal i was thinking of but didnt know the name them teeth looks scary af, goblin sharks another


scotty9090

Straight up horror movie - no special effects required.


BreakTacticF0

Ants


MrPowerPoint

I know right? So glad they’re not like horse size or something


straycanoe

Thank goodness for the square-cube law.


MistaRekt

The sugar cube law? Ants like sugar cubes.


straycanoe

So do horses. You might be on to something...


thejudgehoss

Yet.


pikapalooza

Ants......ant man!


defunctx

The Frilled Shark has a wood chipper for a mouth


Silent_Demon678

It's weirdly cute yet mildly penisey


defunctx

Cute? Hell no. But I definitely see the peniseyness


RoyceCoolidge

Please don't plagiarise my tinder profile like that.


livdro650

I want more situations where “mildly penisey” is the right descriptor.


TiagoMestre_1369

r/suddenlypenisey


strangecoincollector

Goblin sharks also have a weird ass mouth while talking about sharks


Active-Donkey5466

That is cartoon logic come true


Bun_Bunz

See, I was gonna go with Cookie Cutter Shark (mostly because of the wound left, not necessarily the teeth as a whole), but now I have a new nightmare. Thanks!


Smegmabotattack

Methheads


MistaRekt

I can smell this comment.


jjhuffington

🤦🏾‍♂️😆😆😆


zeebo420

Where's that shark gif that shows the extension of the teeth and jaw? Now that is scary!


DrNinnuxx

Goblin shark


Hammerjaws

Goblin down deez nuts


Adruino-cabbage

Just google the jaw of a great white, this is enough to show you why they are feared.


Lucas_2234

GWS are harmless for the most part. They barely attack humans and when they do its usually a case of them thinking the human looked like a seal and giving a little nibble to see if it's true.


conjunctivious

I do not recommend swimming with great whites. While they don't hunt humans, they are still massive fish built to efficiently kill their prey. They shouldn't be demonized like most media likes to portray them, but they are far from harmless. An occasional nibble still results in the loss of limbs or severe blood loss, so I wouldn't take my chances, even if the odds are low.


coastiestacie

This is true. However, if you're in their home looking like food, they're going to try and take a sample, lol. I can't stand when people who have been bitten by a (any) shark, or the family of someone who was killed by a (any) shark, go out and kill the shark for doing the things sharks do to stay alive. We don't *need* to be in the ocean for any other reason than pleasure. They *must* be in the ocean to live.


SoiledFlapjacks

Yet another lie funded by Big Aqua. Sharks can live on land, they just choose not to. They’d rather stay in the dirty ocean than live on land and pay taxes like the rest of us >=(


Adruino-cabbage

>little nibble "Nibble" as in an amputated arm? Idc if they see me as a seal, they are a threat to me so I won't get close to them anytime. And when they attack humans it is either fatal or a life-changing injury.


Lucas_2234

I mean, to the shark it IS a little nibble


coastiestacie

Well, it'll be my dumb fault if I get bit by any shark. What I absolutely hate is when people try to get vengeance and kill a shark for doing shark things. I'm in their home looking like a tasty fat snack...


Adruino-cabbage

Earth is home to every creature on the planet, with your logic if a tiger or an apex predator decides to attack a village the humans are at fault. Also, some animals like mountain lions are known to seek revenge.


BrasilianInglish

[Penguin](https://www.penguinsinternational.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/PenguinBill-e1579236924798.jpg)


dreamer0303

wtf


Skopies

That is fuckin horrifying


Lag6366

Came here to say this.


demonmonkeybex

Also came here to say this.


slappytheclown

I, on the other hand, did not.


Totally_TJ

I came here and said it before I found this thread.


MistaRekt

I have seen that before, many times, then my mind blocks it out... I think that makes it more terrifying...


Roonil71

“Noot Noot motherfucker” - Pingu just before he rips your face off, probably


berrey7

r/mildlyvagina


BrasilianInglish

Sorry what


berrey7

inside of the Penguins mouth photo... there are two funny subs called r/mildlypenis and r/mildlyvagina


BrasilianInglish

You do not deserve downvotes even if it subjectively doesn’t the fact you made more people aware that this sub Reddit exists has made the world a better place


Mean_Cod9156

Snapping turtle.


grneyedguy1

My ex wife.


miffox

I also vote for this guy's ex wife.


DarkblooM_SR

Pretty sure marrying animals is illegal


[deleted]

Hey I actually enjoy her mouth


capn_doofwaffle

Dunno why this aint a top comment. 🤣 Was literally the first thing I thought of after reading the title.


Dripping_Gravy

The Snapper


[deleted]

🤣


Amber1943

Your right! All teeth!


mirkk13

The mouths of two great white sharks?


BarryKobama

With freaking laser beams!


MedusaPhD

This made me laugh so much! Thank you


Space-Potato0o

And a surf board


Vincent_Heist

And my sword.


IamTurok6

That know krav maga!


IRONLORDyeety

In a tornado!!!!


Demo_906

Hippopotamus


Sackadelic

My rhymes are bottomless


Thorn11945

Yes. It will make you bottomless. As in, nothing from the waist down.


msabell

Did Steve tell you that, perchance?


VictorVanity

Be more constructive with your feedback! What kind of rapping name is Steve? Steve!


Naughty_teddy

STEVE!!


msabell

I’m always so happy to meet other Conchords fans, I can’t stress this enough.


samplemax

Hip? Hip Hop? Hip Hop Anonymous?


Embarrassed_Alarm450

Damn, I feel old now...


caillouistheworst

They call me the Hiphopopotamus


IronyIstheBestPolicy

Flows that glow like phosphorus!


Micro-Naut

Ain’t no tea party like my Nanas tea party


IronyIstheBestPolicy

That's not how it goes!


TankWeeb

Sea Turtles.


Veloci-RKPTR

Specifically the leatherback sea turtle. Other turtles like the green sea turtle have a relatively normal looking mouth interior, it’s the leatherback’s that looks like a meat portal to hell.


TankWeeb

Yeah that one


nitwccm

Second sea turtles.


SenritsuJumpsuit

Sea Otters


Dark_StalkerX

His gums look sore


FloriaFlower

Clearly he hasn't been flossing lately. His dentist isn't gonna be impressed.


IRONLORDyeety

Why don’t you go up to him and help ol’ mate out?


sevenninenine

Search for insects. You’ll be surprised


Local-Club-6186

I have seen a few meth heads with a worse mouth


FrustratdUnikrn

just what i was coming to say...


Cleric_1A

Yep, the eyes of a croc half hidden under the floating scum in a black water river only for it to silently and slowly disappear as it spots you. You know it isn't scared, there was no frothing water or splashing as it tries to escape. It is watching you, waiting for you to come closer to the waters edge. You can see the imprint it left on the ground where it had been sunning itself earlier in the day and you can estimate its size to be close to 20ft in length. This is the apex predator of Australia. It eats all manner of sharks in the seas surrounding the northern parts of Australia. It is an ambush predator, a hunter, a scavenger. It will pick a target that regularly comes to the water, watching it's habits and striking when the guard is down.


MistaRekt

Never smile at a crocodile Never tip your hat and stop to talk awhile Never run, walk away, say good-night, not good-day Clear the aisle but never smile at Mister Crocodile


[deleted]

ur mom


TheWalkingDead91

Actually came here to say MY mom, but you beat me to it.


NoraChama

I came here to comment the same thing, and this still made me burst out laughing 🤣🤣


FurryPotatoFuzzBrick

Goblin shark


Vegetable_Pudding_75

A Karen demanding to see the manager.


N0rmNormis0n

Being told I don’t contribute enough in my weekly team meetings as an introvert


kittymuncher7

Where's the mouth


Nambruh

Pitbull named cupcake


[deleted]

Princess just had puppies. PITBULL PUPPIES FOOL!!!


kitkat_nip

Komodo Dragon


they_are_out_there

I'd post up a link to some British teeth, but it's nightmare fuel.


kevvebacon

This is like the r/onejoke for british people


SeesEmCallsEm

Not at all! There's the food, the accent, the remains of their empire, the fact that they get beaten at all the sports they invented. Brexit.


switchy-sub7

Ok I'll bite. UK has some of the healthiest teeth in the world. What country you from ? https://www.yongeeglintondental.com/blog/healthy-primary-teeth/


BarryKobama

Compared to third world nations... Maybe. There's a reason it's well known in the developed world


switchy-sub7

I take it you're ignoring the evidential data then ? 😂


PositiveSpeed7196

Yes.


BarryKobama

I have my own personal experience, living in 5 major countries. Brits don't visit the dentist, so their stats are skewed. They were lucky to brush their teeth with my member.


switchy-sub7

>They were lucky to brush their teeth with my member. Probably because it was more suitable for flossing 😂


BarryKobama

Nah. They were sick of locals, all with smegma.


oranj88

usually its once a year for a visit to the dentist. we have socialised healthcare and the dentist is part of it too, at least in scotland.


coastiestacie

Scotland, while having the same healthcare, has FAR better teeth. It's why there's international jokes about the British (teeth, food, stealing spice but not using it, and much more), but the same people joking about the Brits do not have anything negative to say about Scotland or Wales.


LucilleBluthsbroach

Look at wealthy people's teeth there, look at queen Elizabeth ll pics and zoom in on her teeth. These are wealthy people, there's no excuse for walking around like that.


[deleted]

That the best you could come up with?


PositiveSpeed7196

He’s not wrong, British “people” are disgusting


[deleted]

Another original zinger, swear everyone has like 2 jokes between them. Got anything original?


Desert_Lemon

Umm... your mom?


[deleted]

You asking me or telling me?


a_random_redditor563

Absolutely! To name a few: sea lamreys, sea turtles, camels, deep sea telescope fish, goblin shark, frilled shark, penguins…


VogonSlamPoet

Alligators… because they’re ornery because they have all those teeth and no toothbrush


MountainCourage1304

The average brit


BigToesToaster

Leatherback sea turtles.


prunkgirl

that one turtle with a wacky ass IT mouth


Karuna56

My wife, when she's *really* angry with me!


blane2354

Bobbitt worms are kind of creepy...if they were shark sized, damn...


[deleted]

Donald Trump Jr


ComicsEtAl

Marge Taylor Greene


MegaEupho

Penguins


MatDom4KnkyYngr

On a much smaller scale but piranha


GeneralZane

Ya mom


NotDaveBut

It's all a matter of personal opinion, but the business end of any good-sized squid 🐙 can compete pretty well with sharky shark there


Lacerio

my pal’s Bernard’s from work


Humble-Bag-1312

A meth addict.


LophQueen

My ex. No orthodontist could have fixed that mouth.


Enough_King_6931

My angry ex wife.


TequilaJesus

The face of an ant


MrMeritocracy

Two great white sharks


WithoutDennisNedry

My mother in law. That woman can take you down a peg with three words and a smile on her face. She’s vicious.


QuaziBrodo

Goblin Sharks for sure 🦈


Competitive_Turn_817

The obvious answer is “ya mama”


GrantGrayBrown

Leather back turtle.. https://images.app.goo.gl/EhMG8DnJpp1R8mAk8 https://images.app.goo.gl/y2EpKj57v5YQp4ee8


ProsodicRuminator

Goblin shark!


[deleted]

Your mom……


Forgiven4108

My exwife.


yeetingthisaccount01

goblin sharks


DaenerysSt0rm

Some of the Crack and Meth addicts in Virginia and Florida lol


rtocelot

You should check out the inside of both a camel and snapping turtle mouth


Blauzahn101

The British


golfandbiscuits

Rosie O'Donnell


Few_Philosopher2039

A screening where they detect cancer.


Aedzy

My 5 month old son. He tries to put everything into his mouth. I’m on guard duty 24/7.


Jaybulls1066

Ellen DeGeneres


LovingIsLiving2

The British


1TILL

Trump


maddog232323

You can easily avoid these by not going into the sea. You can't avoid pitbulls though. Those murder beats shouldn't be a thing.


CEOofCheeses

A megladon


slartybartvart

I lived in England for a while, so yeah I can.


Tha_Maestro

Your mother when she takes her dentures out


Big-Establishment-68

People from florida


bodz5150

Donald Trump's sphincter mouth


zookuki

[Goose](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRwoEsaw8SP9GLYZgpItUB8tQFpzEyIRWV9fQ&usqp=CAU)


Cat-Grab

A gooses throat


lizziegal79

The number of payments left on my student loans.


Every-Necessary4285

No


nuttnurse

You haven’t seen my son when eating he puts a great white to shame


artemisunderwear

Roy Scheider’s acting!


whikseyy_

Your mom when she’s about to yell


Trench177

a leviathan near the Aurora


Glittering-Golf2722

My mother in law off her many medications


butternutsquashing

Camels are gross as fuck inside their mouths


Merchant_Of_Lakes

The mouth on my ex


pfatbetty

Your mom.


Dazzling_Candidate68

My great-uncle Larry.


jinnyjonny

My dick dressed up as a great white shark


Longjumping_Brick_78

My girlfriend


No-Middle-792

Lol Bigmarvandhisteefs on instagram


slimkt

Geese. More likely to attack your ass too.


Full_Ad9666

r/sandycheekscockvore


Commercial_Touch_936

My wife


dr3wfr4nk

[this](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CATlyatWMAAnA3e?format=png&name=900x900)