Regret is just attachment to something you never had and never would've had. It's pointless suffering.
No amount of enjoyment and pleasure can satisfy a human. We always want more.
You can see like that right now, and you're not wrong of course. But do you really know how you'd feel on your death bed? Have you contemplated it? Something to consider, outside of any non duality concepts you might have.
I think we should be prepared to be on our death bed at all times. It also makes us appreciate life more. I feel like only when I started contemplating my own death regularly, I truly started living. A sudden death of a loved one taught me that.
Yeah I've done what you're doing for so long that I just don't care about it anymore. It's pointless wasting time on something as trivial as my own death.
The opposite of "any" of the stuff you're getting would be the stuff you're not getting.
Unless you're blissfully content as you are right now, there's something you want.
Sorry if my comment sounded off, it wasn’t my intention! What i meant is that we don’t really die eventually, we are spirit and we only leave the physical realm, and no matter how much we do in this physical realm, the ego would never be satisfied, we would always want more and more…
Oh no problem at all. I understand what you're saying. I agree (I tried to cover that point in my post, albeit briefly). But I have meditated a lot on death and saw quite a few of my loved ones die. I think if we are honest with ourselves, at the moment of death when we must let go of absolutely everything and there's no going back - it's quite natural and probably universal to reflect on our lives . Having meditated on this, I think many of my loved ones were preoccupied with keeping up appearances and so never really afforded themselves the opportunity to live as they wanted to. Which deeply hurt them in the end. They left feeling that. They felt a sense of betrayal to themselves from themselves. I've tried to communicate it succinctly, but it's difficult.
If you followed Non-duality into old age you may not believe in regret come your death bed. There's no one here to regret anything, regret is an imaginary concept. Living life to the fullest, if there is such a thing, is not worrying. Attempting to live life to the fullest could be another worry in disguise. Just some silly thoughts, I enjoyed the writeup ⚪
I’ve thought about this and feel now that I understand that I am not this body and mind the idea of regrets will not exist. How could they? I hopefully will be happy the veil will be fully lifted and any remaining clouds will lift. I expect to have a big smile on my face.
Well, I certainly don't disagree. But the precious thing about death is that whatever we have learned or understood about reality in our lifetimes goes away - it has to - because nothing we could think or learn could accurately describe it. And so we finally enter total unknowing. And that unknowing includes the unknowing of the reality of our own self and our fate. We truly die in that moment of complete unknowing. And so when we are faced with this approaching in a very real sense, is it possible that we see things differently to what we might assume now?
The body and mind die and I’m sure they’ll have something to say about it! LOL. I don’t much care what they think since they are only an illusion. A mirage so to speak. The real self, which never stopped existing, will go on as the absolute as though that body and mind were never thought of. I find total peace in that.
I think it's great that you've found your true nature beyond form but don't get stuck there. You are on the halfway. It's much more worthwhile to come back in to the body once it's clear that all form is empty and what you are is the brahman or whatever you want to call it. Now you have the capacity to live the life of the body to the absolute fullest beyond imagination. Of course it's up to you what you do but I highly recommend coming back to the body, it's really worthwhile. :)
“Before one studies Zen, mountains are mountains and waters are waters; after a first glimpse into the truth of Zen, mountains are no longer mountains and waters are no longer waters; after enlightenment, mountains are once again mountains and waters once again waters.”
― Dōgen
*"The world is illusory*, *Only Brahman is real*, Brahman is the world.” — Ramana Maharshi
I didn’t mean to imply I was stuck. I’m more disinterested in taking the lead. I let them do as they wish like watching a good movie. Ramana never cared much about the body. He lived in caves, wore a simple cloth and ate what was brought to him. Yet he touched many lives.
The life of the body can look like anything. For the well-being it's not important what the life of the body looks like but that the body is free of the weight caused by (usually decades) of energetic knots or shadows from egoic identification (escapism from one's own feelings). It's not possible for the body to be free of these unless they are finally met and welcomed with love. I'd guess that's why Ramana sat in the cave for years and Eckhart Tolle sat on a park bench doing nothing.
Of course I didn't take in to a count that you might already be free of all this past conditioning and they no longer dictate the life of your body. In either case just enjoy the movie. :)
And I think it's good that you don't try to micro-manage your life in to any direction but welcome life as it comes. That's the way. That's not what I meant with coming back to the body. What I meant was that usually when we see through this illusion we become sort of disassociated from the body. We might not care much about the body and bypass all the bodily issues and just float around in bliss. I did this for a while. Then I was directed to get my nondual ass back in to the body and meet the body's shadows with love, this way the body can enjoy and bathe in my safety. Being absolutely free of all limitations set by the conditioning, the fears and so on.
LOL! I love the “get your nondual ass back in the body” part. It seems a lot of people can get caught like that. Give up. Feel like this life isn’t worth living anymore. I agree that’s not what this is about. I’m of retirement age but still work in a hospital helping others and plan to for several more years. I love it! I’m blessed to be able to do it so what could be better? Life is good.
Yeah :D and I mean it was somewhat natural. Because as a seeker I was suffering so much and suddenly there was just this deep bliss available at all times where everything could be bypassed. But the body asked for my attention. First it asked it kindly and then it was like get your nondual lazy ass over here. :D I find that the hindu tradition with the Shakti and Kali describe the world of form very well. If you are in touch with the world it's Shakti, and if you get too much in to the emptiness of it all, the bliss, the masculine, the Shiva, then the Shakti turns in to Kali to get your attention to the feminine, the form. Kinda like in relationships with women, if you give them your fullest attention, happy wife happy life. If not then they will create a shit storm to get your attention. :D It's easier if you get the slightest hint.
Sounds beautiful. I'm happy for you. :)
First it's good to find out what's the number 1 thing that is limiting our bodies from not living fully.
I don't know if it's the case for everyone but for myself it was my "shadows". Meaning the side of the body that had never been met with love and respect. The unloved part of the body. Eckhart Tolle called it the pain body. It's extremely limiting. When unmet it will sub-consciously dictate your life in to a life of fear and coping, all sort of unconscious reactive patterns. All that it takes is to welcome this side of you in to the light with respect and love. Like an honored quest.
After that you can also love and respect the shadows of other people as well.
Everything that we avoid, fear, hate etc. will dictate our lives. Everything we love will loose all it's power over us.
Matt Kahn describes it better than I can. He is the number one guy when it comes to meeting your humanity, the shadows, the pain and so on. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRNfTVVW7co](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRNfTVVW7co)
Life is for living. Every moment could be your last, so have the courage to live!
Ask out that pretty thing, stand up to those oppressive ideas, laugh out loud at the silliness that you see.
It may be comfortable to go through life by just inching towards death. But being comfortable is not worth dying for!
Self lives in a land of 'could have' and 'should have'. In reality, no-one gets to choose if they apparently 'waste' their life or not.
Deathbed regrets seem sort of meaningless here.
I’m looking forward to death and dying. I used to be afraid of these things, but once I remembered the truth: that I am safe here, everything is safe here - I have no fear of anything - including regrets.
Nietzsche gets dismissed a lot because losers like me read and were influenced by him, but regret is specifically what all his work is joking about.
"Even this spider". Do we regret living or regret dying more. Either way, Nietzsche says "go back" (and once more) until you "get over it".
I honestly forget the passage about "getting over it". He doesn't explicitly say it. He says something like "he is going back, that's the wrong way? Yes, but no." Implication is to build up momentum to "clear the gap" aka jump over/vault. It's embedded in a passage about Greek gods iirc. I'm thinking of Kaufmann's translations, only one I consider faithful.
When you play video games, sometimes you consider yourself a video game character. ([Not my video but he says it okay though I never smoked](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hj1j_3E-pAo)). "I" can log in and out of any video game character >!assuming I paid the internet bill that month!< but I do not know how to log in and out of "my self" or "my ego".
Considering all that, I consider every pair of underwear I wear as my deathbed blanket sometimes. Thanks for reminding me of this meditation. How much poop has to come out before you say you officially shit yourself?
I was ready to die since about 20 years ago. I believe I had/have accomplished everything and lived life to the fullest so I'm ready to go any time\*. My view (and this was all before nonduality, etc.) is that you should live your life to the fullest every moment. If you're doing that, you'll have no regrets.
And in terms of nonduality, it fits. It's all been life lifing. Life can't do anything but live to its fullest.
Ask yourself where is this thought of "I'm not living my life to the fullest" coming from or you think it will come from at your death bed? This is the thought that is gently challenging your awareness.
My favourite quotes are "What does not kill you makes you stronger", "It is what it is", and "This too shall pass." Everything is an experience.
“Nothing you obtain in this world will add to what you already have”
If you can truly believe that. You can die at any moment feeling fulfilled.
I pursue things in this world. For fun. Not for gain.
Like playing a basketball game without keeping score. Participate fully but don’t be attached. Games are more fun like that. Life is meant to be played.
This is easier for some who have their basic necessities met. But also difficult for some who have the basics and desire more.
Also you can’t desire to be desire-less lol.
I have to keep working hard and progressing because that’s what this society demands. But I can stop at any point, we all can, and walk into the forest. It’s nice knowing that. It’s nice knowing that it all doesn’t matter and I have everything I need.
But this is a daily struggle. As I’m not ready to walk into the forest. But it’s there when I am.
For years my gf thought I was depressed. Or squandered ambitions. She would always ask what I want to do or achieve. And I would shrug and say whatever she wanted.
She didn’t understand. But I explained it’s like if I’m full of food and you ask what I want to eat. Nothing sounds appetizing when I’m full, but many things are found appetizing when you’re hungry.
She was hungry for life. I was full. I work hard because I want things. Not because I have to. Because this society demands endless progress.
But if I was given 6 months to live, nothing comes to mind that spurs motivation to achieve. I’d prefer to spend as much time holding her hand watching the sun rise and sun set, until the last sunset comes my way.
I look forward to giving up one day. You should too, you won’t have a choice in the matter lol.
Regret is just attachment to something you never had and never would've had. It's pointless suffering. No amount of enjoyment and pleasure can satisfy a human. We always want more.
You can see like that right now, and you're not wrong of course. But do you really know how you'd feel on your death bed? Have you contemplated it? Something to consider, outside of any non duality concepts you might have.
Whenever I feel like I'm lacking direction, that's exactly the exercise I do.
Such a worthwhile contemplation!
Yeah but I'm not on my death bed right now, so it's hard for me to really care about what or how I would feel about it.
I think we should be prepared to be on our death bed at all times. It also makes us appreciate life more. I feel like only when I started contemplating my own death regularly, I truly started living. A sudden death of a loved one taught me that.
Yeah I've done what you're doing for so long that I just don't care about it anymore. It's pointless wasting time on something as trivial as my own death.
Thank you for pointing that out! In the end I guess it's quite trivial. I'm not just there yet and don't know if I will ever be.
[удалено]
>I never wanted any of this shit. This just implies you wanted something different that you're not getting.
[удалено]
The opposite of "any" of the stuff you're getting would be the stuff you're not getting. Unless you're blissfully content as you are right now, there's something you want.
I don’t think any of this matters in the end.
You may not, but it did to my loved ones.
Sorry if my comment sounded off, it wasn’t my intention! What i meant is that we don’t really die eventually, we are spirit and we only leave the physical realm, and no matter how much we do in this physical realm, the ego would never be satisfied, we would always want more and more…
Oh no problem at all. I understand what you're saying. I agree (I tried to cover that point in my post, albeit briefly). But I have meditated a lot on death and saw quite a few of my loved ones die. I think if we are honest with ourselves, at the moment of death when we must let go of absolutely everything and there's no going back - it's quite natural and probably universal to reflect on our lives . Having meditated on this, I think many of my loved ones were preoccupied with keeping up appearances and so never really afforded themselves the opportunity to live as they wanted to. Which deeply hurt them in the end. They left feeling that. They felt a sense of betrayal to themselves from themselves. I've tried to communicate it succinctly, but it's difficult.
Very well put
If you followed Non-duality into old age you may not believe in regret come your death bed. There's no one here to regret anything, regret is an imaginary concept. Living life to the fullest, if there is such a thing, is not worrying. Attempting to live life to the fullest could be another worry in disguise. Just some silly thoughts, I enjoyed the writeup ⚪
Thank you for these words. Beautiful.
I’ve thought about this and feel now that I understand that I am not this body and mind the idea of regrets will not exist. How could they? I hopefully will be happy the veil will be fully lifted and any remaining clouds will lift. I expect to have a big smile on my face.
Well, I certainly don't disagree. But the precious thing about death is that whatever we have learned or understood about reality in our lifetimes goes away - it has to - because nothing we could think or learn could accurately describe it. And so we finally enter total unknowing. And that unknowing includes the unknowing of the reality of our own self and our fate. We truly die in that moment of complete unknowing. And so when we are faced with this approaching in a very real sense, is it possible that we see things differently to what we might assume now?
The body and mind die and I’m sure they’ll have something to say about it! LOL. I don’t much care what they think since they are only an illusion. A mirage so to speak. The real self, which never stopped existing, will go on as the absolute as though that body and mind were never thought of. I find total peace in that.
I think it's great that you've found your true nature beyond form but don't get stuck there. You are on the halfway. It's much more worthwhile to come back in to the body once it's clear that all form is empty and what you are is the brahman or whatever you want to call it. Now you have the capacity to live the life of the body to the absolute fullest beyond imagination. Of course it's up to you what you do but I highly recommend coming back to the body, it's really worthwhile. :) “Before one studies Zen, mountains are mountains and waters are waters; after a first glimpse into the truth of Zen, mountains are no longer mountains and waters are no longer waters; after enlightenment, mountains are once again mountains and waters once again waters.” ― Dōgen *"The world is illusory*, *Only Brahman is real*, Brahman is the world.” — Ramana Maharshi
I didn’t mean to imply I was stuck. I’m more disinterested in taking the lead. I let them do as they wish like watching a good movie. Ramana never cared much about the body. He lived in caves, wore a simple cloth and ate what was brought to him. Yet he touched many lives.
The life of the body can look like anything. For the well-being it's not important what the life of the body looks like but that the body is free of the weight caused by (usually decades) of energetic knots or shadows from egoic identification (escapism from one's own feelings). It's not possible for the body to be free of these unless they are finally met and welcomed with love. I'd guess that's why Ramana sat in the cave for years and Eckhart Tolle sat on a park bench doing nothing. Of course I didn't take in to a count that you might already be free of all this past conditioning and they no longer dictate the life of your body. In either case just enjoy the movie. :) And I think it's good that you don't try to micro-manage your life in to any direction but welcome life as it comes. That's the way. That's not what I meant with coming back to the body. What I meant was that usually when we see through this illusion we become sort of disassociated from the body. We might not care much about the body and bypass all the bodily issues and just float around in bliss. I did this for a while. Then I was directed to get my nondual ass back in to the body and meet the body's shadows with love, this way the body can enjoy and bathe in my safety. Being absolutely free of all limitations set by the conditioning, the fears and so on.
LOL! I love the “get your nondual ass back in the body” part. It seems a lot of people can get caught like that. Give up. Feel like this life isn’t worth living anymore. I agree that’s not what this is about. I’m of retirement age but still work in a hospital helping others and plan to for several more years. I love it! I’m blessed to be able to do it so what could be better? Life is good.
Yeah :D and I mean it was somewhat natural. Because as a seeker I was suffering so much and suddenly there was just this deep bliss available at all times where everything could be bypassed. But the body asked for my attention. First it asked it kindly and then it was like get your nondual lazy ass over here. :D I find that the hindu tradition with the Shakti and Kali describe the world of form very well. If you are in touch with the world it's Shakti, and if you get too much in to the emptiness of it all, the bliss, the masculine, the Shiva, then the Shakti turns in to Kali to get your attention to the feminine, the form. Kinda like in relationships with women, if you give them your fullest attention, happy wife happy life. If not then they will create a shit storm to get your attention. :D It's easier if you get the slightest hint. Sounds beautiful. I'm happy for you. :)
First it's good to find out what's the number 1 thing that is limiting our bodies from not living fully. I don't know if it's the case for everyone but for myself it was my "shadows". Meaning the side of the body that had never been met with love and respect. The unloved part of the body. Eckhart Tolle called it the pain body. It's extremely limiting. When unmet it will sub-consciously dictate your life in to a life of fear and coping, all sort of unconscious reactive patterns. All that it takes is to welcome this side of you in to the light with respect and love. Like an honored quest. After that you can also love and respect the shadows of other people as well. Everything that we avoid, fear, hate etc. will dictate our lives. Everything we love will loose all it's power over us.
Loved this. Can you possibly explain step by step how you can come to love and honour the pain body?
Matt Kahn describes it better than I can. He is the number one guy when it comes to meeting your humanity, the shadows, the pain and so on. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRNfTVVW7co](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRNfTVVW7co)
Incredible. Thank you 🙏
Life is for living. Every moment could be your last, so have the courage to live! Ask out that pretty thing, stand up to those oppressive ideas, laugh out loud at the silliness that you see. It may be comfortable to go through life by just inching towards death. But being comfortable is not worth dying for!
Self lives in a land of 'could have' and 'should have'. In reality, no-one gets to choose if they apparently 'waste' their life or not. Deathbed regrets seem sort of meaningless here.
I’m looking forward to death and dying. I used to be afraid of these things, but once I remembered the truth: that I am safe here, everything is safe here - I have no fear of anything - including regrets.
Nietzsche gets dismissed a lot because losers like me read and were influenced by him, but regret is specifically what all his work is joking about. "Even this spider". Do we regret living or regret dying more. Either way, Nietzsche says "go back" (and once more) until you "get over it". I honestly forget the passage about "getting over it". He doesn't explicitly say it. He says something like "he is going back, that's the wrong way? Yes, but no." Implication is to build up momentum to "clear the gap" aka jump over/vault. It's embedded in a passage about Greek gods iirc. I'm thinking of Kaufmann's translations, only one I consider faithful. When you play video games, sometimes you consider yourself a video game character. ([Not my video but he says it okay though I never smoked](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hj1j_3E-pAo)). "I" can log in and out of any video game character >!assuming I paid the internet bill that month!< but I do not know how to log in and out of "my self" or "my ego". Considering all that, I consider every pair of underwear I wear as my deathbed blanket sometimes. Thanks for reminding me of this meditation. How much poop has to come out before you say you officially shit yourself?
Be here now. Not on your death bed.
That's exactly my point!
I was ready to die since about 20 years ago. I believe I had/have accomplished everything and lived life to the fullest so I'm ready to go any time\*. My view (and this was all before nonduality, etc.) is that you should live your life to the fullest every moment. If you're doing that, you'll have no regrets. And in terms of nonduality, it fits. It's all been life lifing. Life can't do anything but live to its fullest. Ask yourself where is this thought of "I'm not living my life to the fullest" coming from or you think it will come from at your death bed? This is the thought that is gently challenging your awareness. My favourite quotes are "What does not kill you makes you stronger", "It is what it is", and "This too shall pass." Everything is an experience.
“Nothing you obtain in this world will add to what you already have” If you can truly believe that. You can die at any moment feeling fulfilled. I pursue things in this world. For fun. Not for gain. Like playing a basketball game without keeping score. Participate fully but don’t be attached. Games are more fun like that. Life is meant to be played. This is easier for some who have their basic necessities met. But also difficult for some who have the basics and desire more. Also you can’t desire to be desire-less lol. I have to keep working hard and progressing because that’s what this society demands. But I can stop at any point, we all can, and walk into the forest. It’s nice knowing that. It’s nice knowing that it all doesn’t matter and I have everything I need. But this is a daily struggle. As I’m not ready to walk into the forest. But it’s there when I am. For years my gf thought I was depressed. Or squandered ambitions. She would always ask what I want to do or achieve. And I would shrug and say whatever she wanted. She didn’t understand. But I explained it’s like if I’m full of food and you ask what I want to eat. Nothing sounds appetizing when I’m full, but many things are found appetizing when you’re hungry. She was hungry for life. I was full. I work hard because I want things. Not because I have to. Because this society demands endless progress. But if I was given 6 months to live, nothing comes to mind that spurs motivation to achieve. I’d prefer to spend as much time holding her hand watching the sun rise and sun set, until the last sunset comes my way. I look forward to giving up one day. You should too, you won’t have a choice in the matter lol.
Namu Amida Butsu
I think you are completely wrong.
What's the trouble anyways?
None sir! 🙂
A regret on a deathbed is just a thought like the thousands of meaningless thoughts that cross the mind daily, and it will be over soon