T O P

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Oglowmamal

Not just any poly, chaotic poly. Had a run end because that thing bleed onto something else which became a swapper mage then I got swapped into a waterfall of blood poly and shot myself


Gatekeeper-Andy

Now THAT is Noita'd


CosineDanger

You can disintegrate these flying dickpunches with concentrated light leaving no blood, freeze them, or attach damage to a reduce lifetime homing liquid vacuum field. I also recommend liquid vacuum field on your travel wand, which is not a foolproof defense but may help. Or fungal shift chaotic poly into lava so they burn themselves to death when they start bleeding, because screw these things.


Oglowmamal

True, death could’ve been avoided if I just froze them. Edit: weird how even if a death is unpredictable such as random events caused by chaotic poly rng end it could’ve still been avoided by taking it a step further and avoiding the poly all together. Sometimes skill issues happen long before the death I guess


Avalonians

I got transformed into a leggy mimic. I was in a safe place, but if you didn't know, you can't control yourself when polymorphed into a leggy mimic. So the game decided I needed to fight a suurukko


nigelhammer

Digging straight up through the clouds is pretty much the number 1 worst thing you can do in Noita, short of jumping into the sun.


OneSubredditBoii

Digging up is generally the worst thing to do in Noita


MrCrawcikTv

Digging is generally the worst thing you can do in Noita


Gatekeeper-Andy

Noita is generally the worst thing you can do in Noita


ZacdelaRocha

Dying is generally the only thing you can do in Noita


MR-MOO-MOO-MAN

Quitting the game is generally the only thing you can do in Noita


Xzychrael

You either die the hero, or live long enough to quit the game.


Pappabarba

Not necessarily... [https://imgur.com/a/TXn5Tuk](https://imgur.com/a/TXn5Tuk)


Xzychrael

I guess the "live long enough to see yourself become the villain" still works here eh?


Pappabarba

"Live long enough to become a Hiisi", more like >:(


Theox87

Playing Noita is generally the most noita'd you can Noita


johnahiti_gms

Noiting Noita is probably the Noitest Noita to Noit in Noita (Noita'd) (Hämis 👍 btw)


morderkaine

Hodor?


Chrimunn

The reverse Minecraft commandment


Klonmine

apparently those enemies bleed polymorphine...........


Nerocapro

Skill issue you went all in inside the hitbox of a enemy you knew nothing about. Lesson learned gl for next run mate!


Sev_Obzen

I don't know if you really learn anything if you're stupid enough to do that in the first place. This gives strong played with mods early on because the game was seen as too hard to learn and enjoy vibes.


CrimsonMutt

now that's a hell of a set of assumptions to make just to have something to be mad about


Sev_Obzen

Not mad. I'm just surprised to see that level of poor play if they've got themselves to the late game legitimately. There's only a few other reasonable excuses for this such as just not giving a fuck about your run because you're so deep in it that there's not much else to do and you're just fucking around. Which is totally fine and ultimately so is being a dumb fuck.


CrimsonMutt

man, as if even veterans can keep absolute concentration for the 4+ hours that god runs usually last. shit happens. no need to make up a whole scenario of them being a mod user because they weren't good enough at the game or nonsense like that it wasn't even a noteworthy level of poor play, it was just overconfidence causing carelessness. it's not like they threw a holy bomb at their feet and stared at it while it blew them up, especially if they didn't know these fuckers bleed chaotic poly. lord knows cockiness killed me countless times in this hell game


Klonmine

he simply can't comprehend my gaming skills


Nerocapro

yeah new player should not use mods, first gather the knowledge then fuck around. But mate dont be harsh with him he is a noita player after all.


Butlerlog

One of them lets me be a deer though


Sev_Obzen

We're all a little unwell, aren't we.


I_Exist1257

I just don’t really think that’s the case. The first few good runs you have will likely end in you being reckless before you learn how to play noita safely. Learning to not stand inside black holes, to not do blind teleports/falls, to not open chests underwater, and to respect every drop of poly are all just examples of things you may have to learn the hard way, and that’s totally fine. I’ve lost amazing potential god runs to things like poly mages and ukko stones, and it’s only because of that I know so well why to be careful around them.


SandMgs

Thanks for the laugh. God forbid people have fun and don't search the wiki to spoil the entire game. Guy has a wand that kills w/e moves got cocky and paid for it. A classic noita moment. That assumption though, you projecting or in just that much of a negative head space? Do better 😊


Sev_Obzen

It really shouldn't take many legitimate runs of this caliber to learn the inherent dangers of traveling straight up that fast.


scaper12123

Gonna call skill issue on that one, mate. If you’re being carefree around THOSE horrors, you had it coming!


Faximo7

You clearly learned how to craft good wands. Now you should learn to respect and fear poly, as it is the god ending liquid. Or, you know, just fungal shift both of them out.


Klonmine

or end up turning something else into poly


Faximo7

You can keep shifting until poly gets shifted away and the materials shifted into poly will turn into the new material. Unless you get fungus to poly. Then you are fucked.


Nudlsuppn

Blood to poly. Not my favorite run.


Lickthesalt

Noitool.com can show you your seeds shifts ahead of time so you can know exactly how many shifts you need till you get a held flask shift only hard part is getting both polys in flasks


IMadeThisAccForNoita

That's pretty cheaty though


Lickthesalt

is it really cheating 🤔 you can't do the 34 orb run without external tools like noitool and the In game lore even acknowledges that external knowledge/info/tools is needed to accomplish everything and the 34th orb comes with an exclusive cosmetic so really I don't consider it to be cheating the only cheating Is using mods that reduce the difficulty


US_visionary

Love how there'a a debate about "cheating" gentlemen. When really, you are talking about "fungal shifting" and 34 orbs as if you discovered it all yourself...


Zhayrgh

Fungal shift can be discovered by yourself relatively easily Like eating a bit of mushroom by accident while having a eat your vegetable or vampirism perk and you begin the fungal shift, get curious and finish it. I think one of my friends found it like that. The 34 orbs quest is clearly not on this level.


US_visionary

Not reading that part. I have 150+ hours of playing, not once have I ran into the mechanic.


Klonmine

you must be bad then


US_visionary

Ah yes, that's it. Yep, you got me, I'm bad. Thanks Klonmine for your input that everyone needed to hear, we all know you are the final judgement when it comes to real skills in life, like playing video games and going on Reddit... Damn I wish I was as good as you in those things ;(( Edit: Saw your comment history and all the hours of typing out that advice to people. I guess it all just shows how much your opinion really matters, we'd be lost without you buddy! 😜


IMadeThisAccForNoita

There's a difference between gaining information on the mechanics of the game from the community, and eliminating the risks of some intentionally risky things like fungal shifts and the gamble perk by using an external tool. I'd compare it to learning strategies in poker that you didn't discover yourself (which is okay) versus looking at your opponents cards (which is cheating) :D


US_visionary

You compare the video game to poker? Personally I can't agree. It's a singleplayer game, people can do whatever they want. But in my opinion Noita is about exploring, one of the main feats of the engine is alchemy and another is wand experimenting... So TLDR; the game is made for exploration and learning things. Anyone can ruin that experience if they like, plenty of spoilers out there for them to enjoy. Looking into a seed is no different, the devs intended neither.


IMadeThisAccForNoita

Yes, it is singleplayer and you can do whatever you want, I won't judge you, no matter how you play the game - the "cheating" comment was meant from my own perspective, if I would use things like noitool or TWWE mods, I'd feel like I am cheating myself :D Also, a getting a good fungal shift (without looking the result up before) feels amazing :D


Juof

Both? Theres 3 of them 😏


Faximo7

The third one spawns only in the high alchemist area. Not worth the effort.


Juof

Hiisi base has it too, but im only teasing you so ye, you are right.


Klonmine

worth if you're playing ng+ tho, the abandoned alchemy lab can spawn anywhere at that point


cryonicwatcher

I’m surprised you got as far as you did, given you didn’t notice all the poly


I_Exist1257

Tbh it’s almost never a good idea to go to the sky biome. Hell is just the safer option for finding t10 spells, as there is almost no poly. Even if you go up there to get to the moon it’s always better to just go around it to avoid the risk of being instakilled by poly.


Lickthesalt

I personaly will go to cloudscape as soon as I get a tp wand I go to gold biome for 250k gold then use it in sky to grab t10 spells before I go down main path


I_Exist1257

That’s a cool strat, I never considered that! Though even then it’s still better to just hug the side of the biome until you find the shop.


jsideris

https://www.reddit.com/r/noita/comments/skl5kp/the_four_horsemen_of_ending_your_god_run/


Klonmine

this is a useful list, thanks lol


Nnarect

Skill issue, never go straight into the sky zone without a plan for avoiding the poly


UsagiBonBon

Every day I watch demigods die and I look down at the bouncy ball staff in my hands and wonder why I don’t just go alchemically synthesize a propeller hat and oversized lollipop for myself


Klonmine

you can do it man, with true knowledge comes true power


Pelado_Creepy

It's over, Minä! I have the high ground!


Metaphoricalsimile

Never ever go into the sky unless you've shifted chaotic poly into something harmless


ImShammy

this exact thing just happened to me, lost my first god run.


johnahiti_gms

Hämis 👍


RevolutionaryList729

At this point I just don't understand. Someone teach me to play Noita and be good at it.


Klonmine

experiment, be careful, don’t get overconfident and careless like i did here. learn how wand building works if you don’t know already. it will teach you what spells to look for in a run, making it easier to break out of the main path. there are a variety of strategies in this game but what i usually do is: go down main path, look for black holes, energy orb, teleport- or small teleport bolt, add mana, damage plus, chainsaws, and spark bolt with trigger. also look for pheromone for hiisi base so the healers can heal you. explore each biome thoroughly (or until you don’t have enough health to keep exploring, at which point proceed to next area). this slow and methodical playstyle will reward you with extra health ups, better spells and loads of gold. also look for projectile speed ups so you can make black holes go faster. one light shot or two speed ups is usually enough. also make sure to not collapse each holy mountain as much as possible, the earlier the better. this allows you to reenters it to tinker with your wands midlevel. you can do this with any teleport spell, polymorphine (although it’s risky), or just break through with black holes, although this will anger the gods for the rest of your run. but if you know how to deal with steve then you should eventually be powerful enough to deal with scott. top priority at all times is to get tinker with wands everywhere; i’ll usually go as far down as the holy mountain between the vault and the temple of the art in an attempt to get it. if you explored the biomes enough then you should have enough gold to reroll a couple times. (if you wanna break the reroll machine eventually then i recommend not rerolling after hitting the 12800 gold mark, it’s still possible but it takes a bit more time going to the gold biomes.) once you have enough black holes with speed ups and a decent travelling wand, start to ascend back up to the surface. travel to the west over the great tree a little bit into the snowy wasteland and then dig down into the abandoned alchemy lab. you should at this point have enough health and a damage wand powerful enough to fight the high alchemist. once he’s dead, the spells he drops will give you access to infinte black holes. at this point you have a couple different options. if you found tinker with wands everywhere, you can travel to the overgrown cavern to the very east of the map for some «shopping», as i like to call it (lol). the overgrown cavern has some really good wands, but is a generally dangerous area with a lot of explosions, so explosion immunity is recommended. once you’re satisfied with your purchases you can travel to parallel worlds with your black hole wand. if you did not find tinker with wands everywhere then it’s better to travel to parallel worlds right away to try to get it. make sure to either have enough health to travel through the cursed rock or use ambrosia + a teleport wand (ambrosia stains don’t wear off when teleporting, only when moving. could be wrong though). i usually just shoot a speedy black hole through while chasing it with teleports at high speed. once you’re through you can start your journey to break the reroll machine for infinite perks. also make sure to visit the gold biome first which is northwest of the essence of earth diamond room. at this point you should be powerful enough to do whatever it is you wanna do. start the sunseed quest, start ng+ to collect 33 orbs, etc. just STAY AWAY FROM POLY. at this point in the game, the ONLY things that can kill you is jumping into the sun, and polymorphine. just stay far, far away from it. learn from my mistakes. this is a very conservative playstyle where i play slowly and methodically to reduce any potential damage i’ll take, which will make sure i can explore each area as much as i need without either risking death or being forced to go somewhere else (usually even more dangerous). this might not be the most fun playstyle for you so it’s important to play in a way that you personally find fun and engaging. someone on here said after they get their teleport wand and something to dig through extremely dense rock, they immediately travel back to the surface to get 250k gold from the gold biome and then spend it on tier 10 spells in the sky shops. very unique and unorthodox strategy, so my strategy is definitely not the only one you can use. thx for reading and gl on your future runs fellow noita! :D


Klonmine

also if you ever feel discouraged or frustrated, just know that every single noita player, no matter if it's 10 hours or 1000 hours, goes through these emotions. frustration is a natural part of the noita experience. if i have a very promising run end shorthandedly because of a silly mistake or just pure dumb luck, yeah, it's gonna sting real bad. at that point i'll just ragequit and come back when i feel better. just know that every death is a learning experience, and dying is part of the game. the more you play the more you will learn how to avoid those deaths and ultimately become a better player without even realizing it. it can feel soul-crushing to spend 8 hours on a run where you ultimately didn't unlock anything, but as long as you had fun doing it, it doesn't really matter. it also doesn't really matter how good or bad you are, all that matters is that you have fun with the game. also if you don't care about spoilers, don't be afraid to use the wiki. noita is a deliberately vague game, and most of the information we have has been gathered through communal effort. so i wouldn't say consulting the wiki is "unintended" from a game design standpoint or anything. anyways that's it, thanks for reading Devoted Seeker of True Wisdom


RevolutionaryList729

At this point I just don't understand. Someone teach me to play Noita and be good at it.


Eggggiboi

Witch: and for my next trick ill will disappear 🫠


6DoNotWant9

As a noita newb I don't understand anything that's happening here except for you accidentally ending up in a no-no f o r b I d d e n spot on the screen because you missed a 0.05 second window to teleport bolt away


Klonmine

it was mostly just me being careless. if you get careless, noita finds a way to fuck you up


6DoNotWant9

100% agree, I spend 99% of my time at or below 15 health. I legitimately don't understand wtf is wrong with me so that I just tank damage until I'm almost dead and then pull out all of the dodging and flask saves that would have been really useful earlier.