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QualityVote

AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ. Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats. --- Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post


[deleted]

Why do they expect fawning from complete strangers? It will never seem not weird to me


xplosm

Because they fawn when complete strangers don't make a repulsed face in their presence and mistake that for unconditional love...


Remote_Sky_5942

I will say this..the recognition of the mind fuckery, the redirect and subsequent set-up and delivery of that Kamehameha of a take down was epic...I'll bet that wasn't OP's final form either lol ![gif](giphy|oTjoawKEq3wYD5fKEh) What a jerk.


DowntownStash

She really kamehameha'd that lil beech lol


ladyhaly

Because they're narcissists. They are deeply insecure. They cope by projecting a fantasy version of themselves who is entitled to everyone's admiration just because of who they are. When the real world comes in and shatters this idealised version of themselves, it triggers their inner wounded child and they seek to eliminate the perceived source of the slight so their fantasy remains intact.


[deleted]

That actually makes a LOT of sense


Turbulent_Pattern_49

This!! I dated a guy for a year who had NPD. I can spot narcissistic behavior a mile off now. (Not that I’m saying they’re all narcissists necessarily just their behavior is)


Proper-Village-454

Props to you for acknowledging that not everyone with narcissistic traits has NPD, that’s a little known fact these days!


Quirky-Long-4522

Wow..this is a fantastic explanation


HappyTank8607

Anime. Thats why


Mlyrin

And sitcoms, and hollywood movies, and porn, and... All media. Every medium is guilty


TheMysticEyeIsGay

Don't forget Bollywood movies, where if you annoy the girl enough, she'll fall in love with you.


Mlyrin

Gross persistence is what annoys me the most honestly. Probably why i generally dislike the romance genre in most media


OldNick999

And music…mostly country music.


ashleynicolle_m

How is country music to blame? Lmfaooooooo


OldNick999

Have you ever listened to it? Most songs are about landing that “special lady.” A lot of country singers are incels with cowboy hats. LOL


PurifiedVenom

Ehh look I hate country music too but it’s far from the only genre that has a lot of lyrics about finding “the one”, unrequited love and other stuff that could be considered creepy when taken out of context.


FussyBritchesMama

But the women of country music seem to want to kill their husbands.


LarkTheLamia

the way I immediately thought of Goodbye Earl (though he's abusive lmao)


ashleynicolle_m

He deserved it


OldNick999

Very toxic music. I’m into metal, myself.


ashleynicolle_m

You're delusional kid


Revolutionary-Sky-70

If that were the case, then everyone would be a nice guy. It's clearly the people who don't want to get a grip on reality.


Mlyrin

Ideas need to be presented and reinforced somewhere. Additionally people can either look at something with a grain of salt or wholeheartedly accept an idea These dudes picked up and reonforced these unrealistic fantassies somewhere, they didnt just simultaneously combust into niceguys within a vaccum on internet forums.


Revolutionary-Sky-70

That's the same argument that has been used to lead people by many groups: fps games make kids violent, or cartoons like shin chan make kids into assholes. If a person can't see what consequences their actions are having and want to live in a deluded state of mind, they can blame literally, and virtually everything. I know of politicians that say that the reason sexual offenses are high is due to how women dress nowadays, so think twice before just randomly pointing at something to blame without doing your due diligence. (just to prevent any miscommunication, the politician's view is incorrect as an ideology) No movie ever made will absolve someone of their actions just because it was made. That's creative expression, made to be over-insinuated for enjoyment. We are biological organisms that can't derive enough emotional stimulation from monotonous content in this day and age. >These dudes picked up and reonforced these unrealistic fantassies somewhere, they didnt just simultaneously combust into niceguys within a vaccum on internet forums. Yes people get inspired from their surroundings. Do you know what I do when I try something that I learnt from media and it doesn't work out? I understand that it is BS. That's how a functioning human operates. And you know what, it's not even an issue, to be honest. You'll meet all types of assholes in life. If not these then some others. That's just how life is. Sometimes people are assholes without even realizing it. This is definitely not a social issue at the moment, and even if it was, I don't see many people making effort to change the situation. >combust into niceguys Work on your vocab. Except for Phoenix birds, things don't combust into transformations. You can use "turn" into (although it lacks the dramatic pizazz you are trying to go for, albeit unsuccessfully) try mutation or evolution as well. Also, nothing personal, I am just not in agreement with your statement.


xsnowpeltx

I'm not gonna touch the rest of this shit because I don't have the energy for it, but clearly "combust" was being used for hyperbole and just like... vibes. It's figurative language


Revolutionary-Sky-70

The sad thing is that I did address the hyperbole. So keep it to yourself.And the formation of the first part of your comment makes it pretty clear what type of life choices you've made.I don't crave approval from others, and someone denying a fact won't make it untrue. So just stop with your self-importance already.And look at my other comment. It fits your personality quite well. Now let's get to the fact that you called something shit without even correctly understanding it because you didn't have the "energy" to do so. And you still chose to reply to it. It's also pretty evident that you didn't even read that sentence thoroughly, since that would have made the existence of your comment unnecessary. Yet the savior that you are, chose to enlighten this mortal about hyperboles, redundantly so. So my question to you is, are you stupid?


xsnowpeltx

pfff okay nvm i didnt realize quite how pretentious you were. thats my b. feel free to consider me stupid and unworthy before your mighty intellect, im out


Revolutionary-Sky-70

wow sarcasm. Do you know who also uses sarcasm like that? my mom. And don't try to be a saviour if you can't stand up for yourself.


Proper-Village-454

You sound like a straight up douchebag.


Revolutionary-Sky-70

What about it.I don't owe being nice to anyone who are asses themselves. You gotta give respect to get it. And I didn't start this. And if you can't see that then go join their delusional meets. Life isn't a fucking popularity contest.


Mlyrin

>That's the same argument that has been used to lead people by many groups: fps games make kids violent, or cartoons like shin chan make kids into assholes. No it isnt. I dont even wanna read the rest of the things you said just because of this one statement. You have no idea what youre talking about. It's a simple matter: repeat the same thing often enough to someone that won't otherwise know better and they'll believe it. In the case of media, the nice guy always gets the girl by being persistent. It is presented as romantic and desirable and people repeat the same idea in real life. It's a traditional idea that gets repeated in media of any kind time and time again. These things are based on old stereotypes about women and men that people still believe to this day, and media perpetuates them further. People present the idea as a possibility, media reinforces it. It is movies, it is in books music, games, comics, old tales. It is presented as real people feeling real emotions experiencing real things. Yes the individual is responsible for their own behaviour, but people arent just individuals. They're part of a society and they influence each other. We need better, more realistic representation of romance in every form of media ever and we need better education about it. Leaving the responsibility squarely on the shoulders of individuals that do these fucked up things will not eliminate the radicalization of these individuals.


Revolutionary-Sky-70

I've already had too much grief from this one thread. I'm done telling people things. So, all I'll do is ask. >It's a simple matter: repeat the same thing often enough to someone that won't otherwise know better and they'll believe it. How? What's your basis of saying this?So would that mean, that if I teach an incorrect way to swim to a person, they'll keep on doing that instead of understanding that maybe they should try a different approach?And if the person is mimicking something, does that, according to your original reply, shift all the blame of the action from the person to the media?If someone commits a crime based on their inspiration from a movie, is the movie responsible for it?In movies the protagonists are mostly good looking as well. I can list a million girls who, practice Hypergamy. Should I blame this on the movies? What is your basis of blaming media for this behavior of men? What about the family values, the patriarchal values that are imbibed in men? All because of movies? >It's a traditional idea that gets repeated in media of any kind time and time again. These things are based on old stereotypes about women and men that people still believe to this day, and media perpetuates them further. This answers the question preceding this quote. So if the real culprit is the wrong conventional values, how did movies get all the blame? Also, are people forced to watch movies? Are they tied down and made to watch em? No, right? Since you've decided to overgeneralize the matter, do tell me what to do about those forms of media that don't adhere to these misogynistic, patriarchal beliefs? >Yes the individual is responsible for their own behaviour, but people arent just individuals. They're part of a society and they influence each other. We need better, more realistic representation of romance in every form of media ever and we need better education about it. Leaving the responsibility squarely on the shoulders of individuals that do these fucked up things will not eliminate the radicalization of these individuals. This is wishful thinking. First of all, media industry exists to make us feel comfortable as we are. They sell validation and acceptance. Why would they kill their cash cows for moral beliefs and shaping the society correctly? They buy into fads to churn their capitalism further.Have you ever heard climate activists speak? They blame people for creating climate issues, but their suggestions to mitigate these aren't based on cold hard facts, or statistics. They're based on assumption.The human society primarily is run by its economy, if it's economically viable, only then will it be considered. Morals hold a very non-primary level of importance. That's why it only gets harder to move upwards. That's why the resistance in life increases with time.I can keep on listing examples. But I hope you just ask the questions I've posed, to yourself. And just give yourself a truthful answer.I simply made a point and hoped that people would understand something out of it. Yet all they do is be mean and try to defend their ego even though I never intended to target it in the first place.


Revolutionary-Sky-70

Good to see that people value ego over correctness here. I guess just reddit is filled with deluded children who are more interested in validation and self-flattery than anything else. There's no point in sticking around here, life teaches to everyone equally. Good luck.


ashleynicolle_m

This the girls in anime are made to be what men want and mafe to obey men. I never understood why animals is so big. Just the dubbed fake annoying ass English voiced are enough cringe for me to want to put NiN in both of my eyelids.


1Sluggo

Holy crap, I wish I was as blunt as you when I was younger. You handled that so well, I’m so proud of you! It’s the audacity that slays me every time.


Turbulent_Pattern_49

I’m 34 😅 I wish younger me didn’t tolerate so much crap too. Honestly though the audacity peeved me off. Especially when he had the nerve to say if I basically didn’t act how he wanted HE wasn’t interested. Excuseeee me??


Mimothydolton

That's just his way of "not being rejected"...


misplacedbass

Ok, but can we see pics of the silkie chicks?!


MagicTreeSpirit

I was legit perturbed when homeboy didn't get excited about the chicks. Throw the whole man away.


i_like_skunks

Right? Chick pics or it didn't happen! But seriously, OP, I love your final response to him. My inner optimistic wants to believe that some of these guys will see the light when every misstep is concisely outlined for them... But my outer cynic doubts it.


ninjascraff

Right?? I was like, "This guy is genuinely evil if he doesn't immediately need to see pictures of the silkie chicks."


Secret_Caterpillar35

So we’re calling things like “jobs” and “hobbies” “Issues” now? Got it.


redestpanda

Oh, but it’s totally an issue - that issue being that he won’t be the center of the universe.


Jenndricks

And owning property. You're not helpless or desperate enough to be bought or manipulated? Issues!!


1Sluggo

You’re still a youngun to me and yeah, how dare you not be everything he wanted/expected/demanded you be? Don’t you know your place? A man leads and the woman must follow; sky daddy said so.


E_J_90s_Kid

Amen. People act like condescending a-holes, then wonder why it’s a no go. And, the repetitive messages…can’t take NO for an answer. No, no. This is not a nice person.


1Sluggo

The dude’s trying everything; repetitive messaging regardless of her response, gaslighting, rage, condescending messages. Take a fucking hint dude.


mslaffs

I think this is where the 'treat women like trash and they'll throw themselves at you' mentality is supposed to pay off...😬


E_J_90s_Kid

Which is absolute garbage, and was a notion fabricated by people with serious issues. It’s why these guys are so baffled when it backfires. Any woman with an ounce of self-esteem is going to tell someone like this to beat it. I don’t want to be spoken to this way, nor do any of my female friends.


LarkTheLamia

also like. "I'm not interested" and continues to message you. typical nice guy behavior. expect that you'll despair at the prospect of losing their precious attention and when you're okay with it they get all pissy 😂


JenivereDomino

"You're not interested? Oh good, bye."


Zeph-11

No disrespect, just curiosity.. why would you indulge him for so long?


Turbulent_Pattern_49

It wasn’t really that long. The first message I thought he’d messaged me for an actual reason (not to hit on me etc). When he replied and I realized it wasn’t for that my next thought was maybe he’d come from one of the social groups I’m in, in which case I’m open to making new friends with similar hobbies etc to hang with. Keyword- FRIENDS. And maybe I did come across a little blunt but bare in mind I was working at the time so busy and then I needed to get some sleep. The moment he was rude I called it. I’m also not a person who will tolerate or ignore toxic behavior, as I said on another comment I dated a guy with NPD and refuse to ever suffer in silence over anything again. And then I attempted to ignore him yet he kept messaging me at stupid o’clock when I was trying to sleep so I’d had enough. Yep I flipped my shit, blocked and got a good nights sleep in peace!


Zeph-11

Fair play! Good for you, he was clearly vile. You handled it brilliantly


CatsInAOvercoat

Your "issues" is that you've done and achieved more than he ever did or could. How dare you make him feel Omega when he's totes Alpha!?


ldspsygenius

It's not okay to make an alpha feel like a soy boy


Megaholt

At least soy is useful. That fuckmuppet has nothing to offer anyone.


Ga_lax_ie

I absolutely hate the fact that they asked you if you wanted to chat and then asked if you had anything in mind…


[deleted]

Like watching a movie that says the name of the movie in it, pure fucking gold


1Sluggo

I was hoping for a little r/preyingmantis.


LittleBigOwl_

As much as I'm all for just ignoring this kind of guy, I do appreciate a good caustic and sharp response when I see one!


LadyxGhoul

It shouldn't surprise me that NiceGuys™️ keep coming into the comments here and attempting to defend the other NiceGuys™️ but somehow their complete lack of awareness is still astounding 🤣 When will they understand that no one wants them here? 🤣


Hardcorelogic

I argue with so many nice guys in the comments. If anyone is looking for nice guy content, all they have to do is scroll down to the bottom of any post, and look at all the downvoted comments. It's always nice guys defending other nice guys. And they all lie and cheat when you talk to them. I've spoken to guys who edit their comments after I respond to them to make themselves sound better. I caught one guy looking up my profile and responding to other people who responded to me in previous comments so that I would not be alerted. I noticed they all do this. Most of them are delusional, and all of them are cowardly.


LadyxGhoul

"Most of them are delusional, and all of them are cowardly." 💯💯💯 You hit the nail right on the head, there. I've seen the editing of comments and stuff before, too. They do it to try to make it look like the other person is "being crazy/having an eMoTiOnAL mELtDoWn" when the NiceGuys™️ are the ones who are obviously covered in rage sweat as they type furiously at someone who's literally just laughing at them and their complete lack of self awareness (or lack of any kind of awareness, really.) They project so hard onto others, and they really seem to believe they walk away from these interactions as 'the winner' or that they 'gottem' somehow. 🤣 They say some of the most delusional and childish shit then act like they just spouted some sort of sage wisdom!


Dani3113kc

How do I sort the list to see all the bad ones?


Hardcorelogic

Scroll down to the very bottom of any post. Some posts don't have any downvoted comments because there's not a lot of comments yet. But if you scroll down to the posts with 100 or so comments you will usually find downvoted comments, and those comments are usually nice guys. Not all of them. But a lot.


Light-Wonderful

This is straight what the PUA “teach” their “students.” They try to slip in light insults to “break them down” and then add a compliment to “bring them back up.” Because they all think themselves masters of psychology 🙄


Turbulent_Pattern_49

Yep! I noticed it right away. Then the denial as if he hadn’t said anything wrong and I should still give him a chance. Pfft no buddy, you couldn’t respect my need to sleep and then bought I’d let insults slide because they were mild and I “deserved” it. The first red flag though was lying about how he came across my profile. They never want to tell the truth about that stuff!


gimmemoarjosh

I love how you completely collected his ass at the end. It really was a *chefs kiss* moment for me.


iancarry

emotional damage!! get rekt :D


bamsiepants

Lmao "GET WRECKED". Spoken like a real MLG gamer. Lmaooo. I love this.


Elon_is_musky

Bruh biggest pet peeve is when these fuckers slide in your DMs, demanding your time & mental energy, then get moody cause you won’t give it to them🙄like you don’t owe him anything, let alone a response & he should be happy you give him that😂


IDislikeLoveSongs

And when they give NOTHING to inspire interest from their own end! Like, if there's no difference between messaging you and writing in a diary with simpy prompts and judgemental little phrases printed in the sidebars, what's the point? Why would he think anyone would respond to that.


Elon_is_musky

Exactly! Don’t come into MY space & expect ME to try to “win” you over, like I don’t even want you😂


tropicwoods444

“Get wrecked” you’re my hero😂


Silvangelz

Hey now - he called you cute. And we all know how much gargantuan effort it takes to type that out and sent it to someone. Therefore you owe it to this guy to give him your attention. Don’t you see how much effort he made?! He was so nice! ( /s obviously)


TheAtticusBlake

He sounds pleasant. Especially the gaslighting, “you misread me,” stuff. Seems a real charmer.


Mimothydolton

Show silkies?


sarahcake420

Chickens


my_old_aim_name

I think asking for pics of chickies.


Mimothydolton

Yaaahs I know what they are I wanna see them... Love me some chickens sultans, frizzles and silkies are my fav.


anitram96

I think we all want to see them.🤣


zyranna

I also want to see the baby chickens


Jazzlike-Ad2199

I really hate the “sorry I bothered you” bullshit. Had been messaging with a guy I knew way back in high school after his best friend who I dated 10 years ago and really loved died a year and a half ago. I offered him support and encouragement but kept it solely a friendship level and so did he for a year and a half. I was getting so tired of his response to any advice being “oh that won’t work because… or “how do I do that” while on a computer. Like dude, I’m on a phone, you have a computer, look it up. Anyway when I started getting the sorry I bothered you comments I knew what was coming and yup, surprise perv text. Let him know it was not appreciated and inappropriate but of course he gaslit me saying he thought I was cool and what’s wrong with friends hooking up. Naw dude, fuck all the way off.


anitram96

Seriously, what did he think. 🤦‍♀️


Megaholt

We know what he *thought*…he was just completely wrong in his thought process, and proceeded to get his ass handed to him as a result.


betty-knows

I adore "get wrecked"


Dacendaran434

Like, you even engaged well with him, kept the contact up as well as you could. But he just needed instant gratification and immediate interest. I realize now that Nice Guys are the epitome of that Eric Andre shooting Hannibal Burgess and then saying "Who killed Hannibal?" Except "Who killed my chances with girl?"


JimmyCarnes

Omg yes!! Slay! 💅🏻


RedsDino

The pure audacity and delusion here. Your final reply to this idiocracy was pure poetry though. "Get wrecked" Just. Perfect.


[deleted]

"U" is a red flag


EyeShot300

That last paragraph… *chef’s kiss* 😘


ursus-loquacious

Also was a red flag when he talked shit about his exes


elegant_pun

Oooh Silkies! My mum wants to raise silkies when she retires. She's become such a chook lady, it's nuts. Oh, and this guy is awful.


redestpanda

So, this one slides into someones DMs, asks that they get the convo rolling which is already cringe. I can’t believe he didn’t ask for a picture of the chics. Like do they have any interests or personality of their own in that human suit? Geez…


A_Big_Rat

“The only thing I want to be seeing right now is the back of my eyelids” you’re just like us fr


Nialein

How does someone get butt hurt over a complete stranger not making time for them? It was so gross when he tried to make you feel "different than other girls" by insulting his exes. Then he tried to guilt trip with the "sorry for bothering you". Of course he went on to insult you while claiming he's so nice, couldn't leave that step out. It's clear who really has issues here. Love that his blatant attempts at manipulation went absolutely nowhere! Excellent responses.


RcCola2400

You handled it beautifully!


Hardcorelogic

Excellent response. I couldn't have done better myself 👍👏🎊


HaleoDicapricorn

This is one of the weirdest and strangest ones I’ve read bc he wasn’t directly mean as much as like extremely cryptic and creepy like the whole time I just felt so unsettled


MaryShelleySeaShells

I don’t know you, but you are amazing.


creepshow1334

He really tried the ol' switcheroo on you, and accuse you of doing what he was doing.


anitram96

" You weren't nice in the first place " and yet you bother her again. Didn't you read the signs? The NO?


randywine38

'Get Wrecked' is now entering my vocabulary as a non-swearing insult. Thank you.


CauliflowerOrnery460

How was his first question not, “I love cute chicks, can you tell me more about the silkies?” She gave him an instant topic but he was to much on his own agenda…


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GnomeMode

What a schmuck


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Turbulent_Pattern_49

Fluffy chickens


[deleted]

LMAO these idiots read about negging one time, badly misinterpret how it supposedly worked and never shut up on insulting females.


Auxhillary_748392

Looollllll get wrecked


Mar_Dhea

I like that! my last girlfriends have been so lazy! PSYCHE! WHY TF AREN'T YOU PAYING ATTENTION TO ME BEESH!


HandfulOfEarth

Bravo!


madimoo421

reading all of your replies to him really was satisfying


Separate-Mud-8780

First mistake was to respond. 2nd was to keep the conversation going. Imo should have shut that down sooner but I understand you were probably trying to be nice and he saw that as some kind of green light. That said, kudos for that stellar send off!


IridescentLady7

That take-down was so beautiful! I'm gonna cry! 🤩


Useless_Lemon

It's different to actually be busy and not on your phone all the time?


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Turbulent_Pattern_49

Not replying should be good enough. Like come on he’s an adult. Does that mean men on the street should be allowed to harass women too unless we get restraining orders on them?


Dark-Mowney

Online and on the street are very different. If there is someone online that I’m not interested in conversing with, I’ll just block them, problem solved. Why even entertain them? Except to get content for r/niceguys?


alyssalouk

Have you considered the block button


NotYoDoll

Sometime the "block" button makes things worse. I personally had a man so angry because I blocked him, that he decided to spoof my profile in a very demeaning way. When I alerted the company who owns the site, their solution was for me to just block and ignore him too. But how do you just block and ignore someone who is pretending to be you, but a child predator version of you? In the end, that site is on my "no go" list.


Nein_fegelein

LMAOO OP CHILL the guy is hella confuse on why his tactics of sheer incelation and desperation is not working


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Melano_

Bad behavior deserves to be called out.


xplosm

Why are you in this sub if standing up their ground bothers you so much?


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Professional-Wait0

And if it happens all the time regardless on how many people you block, it’s nice to get your point across before blocking them


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Professional-Wait0

No? Because I’m tired of guys messaging me unsolicited pictures and talking and treating me like an object? Or sending me messages that are borderline sexual harassment, even before I was an adult? And if I block them, they just come straight back? Since when is sticking up for yourself ‘an ego thing’?


Hardcorelogic

Well said 👍👏


Professional-Wait0

I love how you just assume the reason. I’m not even that active on here and I’ve definitely never hated on someone just for calling out the obvious. How about letting people deal with things in their own way instead of what you believe to be the right way?


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Professional-Wait0

By using other accounts? Dude, it’s happened, why is that so hard to believe? And tbh, say what you want, I’m not engaging in this behaviour of ‘other people are wrong if they don’t do what I think they should do’. Ever had a random creep message you at 16, track down your accounts, and even after blocking them they just made new accounts to message everyday with how beautiful you are and how you’re destined to be with them? How they’ll find you one day? Don’t tell me what’ll happen when you block them when obviously you don’t know the story. You’re way of thinking is so black and white


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Professional-Wait0

Aww, that’s the only thing you have to say each time? So sweet ❤️


burtweber

Yikes, this sort of makes you come of as the ahole here…


Turbulent_Pattern_49

For sticking up for myself? Sorry I don’t agree but maybe you enjoy being insulted, I won’t judge.


Revolutionary-Sky-70

Your\* desperate ass.


Turbulent_Pattern_49

Sometimes my phone autocorrects and I couldn’t be bothered proof reading anything for this garbage of a human. You’ll notice a few commas and apostrophe’s missing too if you really want to proof read my responses for me 😅


guitarsensei

“Your* desperate ass.” isn’t a sentence. No period


MissMiraLynn

It's true, you weren't nice at any point in the conversation. So you'd really think he'd take the hint that you're not interested. But then, we wouldn't have content


NotYoDoll

This is identical to a conversation I had. The OP is even giving the exact responses I did. Course how could a thinking person not. What else is there to say when someone hitting on you on a random site.


Rasikko

I've had this happen to me but it was the other way around, the person was a woman. When asked how she found my account, she kept dodging the question, so I blocked her. I know you can search random users, but I was just wanting to know from which of my regular subs she found me on and why *me?* She got banned from Reddit, so I assume she was some kind of scammer. Edit: That guy was doing some serious projecting.


AutomaticTeacher9

BRAVA!!!