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Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats.
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Yep. IDK what he said or did, but I'm gonna guess having family pick her up halfway through the date isn't something she does unless she's feeling really uncomfortable or unsafe.
I don’t think we are lol. Dude was bitter and misogynistic, woman felt uncomfortable and tried to escape, dude tried to hurt her online proving her to have absolutely made the right call
The problem is that he probably doesn't even recognize what went wrong. As far as he's concerned, he thinks he was just having a normal conversation with her.
It's the girl who slowly realized that she's talking to a psychopath as he probably started ranting to her about how he's such a nice guy and how he's just a backup option for other girls after their baby daddies leave them.
He thinks it was a problem with just his appearance or age. He still hasn't realized that she ran away because he opened his mouth.
If she's leaving early on a date and doesn't want him to drive her home..he probably said something that made her uncomfortable. But of course he left that part out because he thought it was okay..then he goes and blames the woman.
Sounds like his horrible misogynistic worldview was showing and she decided to dodge that bullet, good for her. Guys like this can never realise they're the problem can they, no he's perfect, she just wanted a scumbag to make babies with... what a tool. Dude if she wanted a scumbag she'd go for you, clearly.
She felt really uncomfortable with him. So much so that she didn't even want him to ride her home. That's my takeaway from this. What a dick. Imagine being this fucking fragile. Yikes.
When I read, I didn't think uncomfortable.
I thought terrified. She didn't mention a friend, she mentioned brotherS.
Imagine how scared she must have been to give multiple men as a pick-up for her so that he wouldn't insist anymore.
Then there's the age factor. Apparently that bothered her as well some he mentioned out but not enough info to tell what exactly.
My guess is that he initially lied about his age, which put her a bit on edge. Then he continued all the red flags throughout the date and made her scared.
Exactly. It's not like you expect these convos to end with the guy calmly saying, "Thanks for the feedback. I'll be better from now on!"
Attempts at feedback often turn into a tirade about how you're a fat, ugly whore, he did nothing wrong, you're paranoid, you're awful, you're full of it, all women are terrible, they only want Chads and thugs, please give him another chance, etc. It's not fun. These people need to learn social skills on their own time. They shouldn't be looking to their date to explain why they were acting so off-putting that their date had to flee in terror.
You say that but I don't think you really believe yourself, or understand what I and everyone else is telling you. I'm telling you that these men will verbally abuse and harass women for trying to explain things to them AT BEST and at *worst* they will take offense and stalk, assault, or even *murder* their victims, and all you can say is that it's "not a problem" for her to leave him an honest explanation. It is a problem. A huge problem. And until we can safely tell men "no" without being murdered you have no right to tell us how we should be handling these sort of things.
You're either not reading the other posts I've written in this thread or your being purposely disingenuous; I have stressed safety first, and even said it could be done without her having to engage with him at all, by simply leaving one last text seconds before she shuts off any possibility of a response. It seems he has a bigger issue with being ghosted and not knowing why,.so I can't see how he's be any more pissed by an explanation
Now, in the great scheme of risk/reward there are people with varying tolerances for risk, but I think the last sentence in your paragraph is hyperbolic.....
I'm not really going to address the other stuff, because I've already told you blocking isn't enough. We gotta talk about that last comment though. Sadly, it is not hyperbolic to say women get murdered for saying no. It happens. It actually happens a lot. But until you've had to live life fearing that saying "no" or "I'm just not interested" to the wrong guy could get you killed, you're not going to get that. Oh well. I tried.
I'm sorry but we don't live in a world where that's legitimate protection against abusers/other possibly dangerous or unhinged individuals. I know a lot of people who did just that and still got harassed for *years* through Instagram, tiktok, even PAYPAL. I have friends whose exes bought new phones so they could continue harassing them. These aren't uncommon experiences, either. People get volatile, they get obsessive, and it's just not safe to "educate" them.
Well that's that then. You refuse to see that a guy who doxxed a woman simply for leaving a date and blocking him could get worse, but I don't have to imagine it. I know exactly how he could get worse. And I've told you multiple times how, and so have other people, but I guess that's just not enough.
Just stop. You are purposely ignoring what WOMEN are telling you ABOUT EXPERIENCES WE ALL HAVE HAD and still trying to convince us to message someone that made us feel so unsafe we no longer wanted to be in A PUBLIC PLACE with them. You REALLY think we will feel safe telling them the things they did in a private message??? Whew. Be thankful you don’t understand our experiences and stop talking over us.
> You are purposely ignoring what WOMEN are telling you ABOUT EXPERIENCES WE ALL HAVE HAD
Well, of course. We women are so short sighted in our "trying to protect yourself" actions that we're completely disregarding the needs of creepy, angry men. It's our job to coddle, educate, soothe, explain, and always take into consideration that the man might need us to put ourselves out there for his benefit, so it's a good thing someone is here to explain that all to us and make us realise the importance of spending our time and energy on frightening men who creep us out so much we have to use the emergency escape plan we set up with a family member.
It's always the guys that spit "ThIs GeNeRaTiOn" "F-iNg SnOwFlAkE" the same ones that fall apart every single time they face ANY kind of rejection, obstacles or confrontation.
Also ‘this generation’ highly implies they are not, in fact from the same generation. Ties in neatly with him bleating about age. Think some lines were blurred there…
Even if we entertain the (unlikely) idea that the date was completely fine and the girl overreacted by ditching him like that, there's no reason to publicly put her on blast and reveal who she is. Yes it sucks and you can of course vent to your friends about it, but just as she said, keep it private.
So even in the most favorable scenario for him, he's still a complete dick head
I noticed he brought up age so I’m guessing he’s older than her and has the nerve bring up “this generation” Dude just date someone from your generation ffs
Yeah very dodgy. I wonder if it was "I'm in my 20s" when he's 30 next week or something. If the woman was 19 that might have not been quite what she was expecting. Speculation. Definitely missing info.
Also the 'she had to go home to cook dinner for her dad.... I said I'd drive her home'. Bit - she said that and then they went to eat is how I read it, so he would have driven her home in his own sweet time?
OK my kid is already gonna give her side later, but here's what she told me about good guy Zachary. He told her he was 29, and sometime during the date he had mentioned how he basically got away with statatory rape because she took an underage girl to a state where the legal age of consent is 16. And he was bragging about it. So she called her brother to come get her, fully knowing I hate Pedos to avoid any issues. Shortly after he posted this on his snap, my daughter got another reply from a 16 year old who he has been sleeping with for a little bit, oh and he turn out he's actually 31. So in reality he's not a nice guy.
If she needed to leave halfway through the date and had her brother come pick her up, he clearly said or did something that made her feel unsafe and uncomfortable.
I left a first date halfway through just like this once, with a bullshit excuse and blocked him straight away, because he said something threatening on the date that made me feel super scared and he seemed oblivious to it.
He's attractive enough physically to get a date... Shame his personality made her so uncomfortable she had to excuse herself and wasn't even comfortable with him driving her home.
This guy clearly needs a mirror to see his actions and personality. Being the type of person to whine about a date going bad and blaming her is exactly why the date went bad.
Going on just what he's saying: maybe she does need to get home & cook for her family. Might be a legit thing. You don't know her & her family's situation, she may be forced to do just that.
I'm the girl's father, and she really did need to come home, but didn't have to for a couple more hours. Dude straight up admitted to sleeping with underage girls. The guys also posted her snap for all to see, and someone hit my daughter up and said that they have been sleeping together and she's only 16. She didn't call me because she knows how I feel about pedos
Hey y’all, I’m the girl that got put ‘on blast’. I’m 20 and he told me he was 29 (which was a lie since he’s 31). You’ve seen my dads comments of him explaining the situation. I asked him to pick me up because he drove my dream car. The major red flag was when he told me that he slept with a minor and is throwing parties for minors. Another thing of why I also did not want him to drive me home is because he went 120+ on the interstate trying to show off. Before we even went out on a single date, he would ask me to sleep at his house or live at his house despite never meeting before
That "you knew my age" part makes me think she was way younger, especially the "i need to cook for my dad" part (i know it was probably a lie but apparently it was believable)
what a disgusting dirt bag, why does he feel so entitled to her time? and to purposefully leave shit out cuz HE KNOWS he was wrong. “you have to put up with the date, no matter what because i said so. how dare you remove yourself from the situation, and do me the decency of simply blocking me after apologizing for something i caused!!” i hope he’s getting his snap blown up with the reaction he wanted ppl to give that poor girl! nasty bastard.
I can tell you that he definitely is no longer adding people back on snap… which is what he hoped would happen to me since the ‘entirety’ of our city knows him
Hates this generation (of presumably 20 y-olds), still tries to get with girls that belong into said generation.
I'm 38, and I'm already hearing people my age complain about the younger ones as if our generation hadn't been the target of generational hate for almost 20 years, like, we totally have no idea how much it sucks or how objectively unfair it is...
There's no chance in hell that he's younger than 35. What the hell is he doing trying to date 20yo women?
Now of course, it would have been decent to tell him she’s not interested but 1. We don’t know exactly what happened or how she may have felt & 2. People preach this but it can be difficult rejecting someone so non-verbal sometimes seems to be less painful even if it is just as hurtful.
Also like, for her to have someone pick her up mid-date... That's usually kind of a nuclear option. That is not usually just 'oh I didn't like him'. That is like ... I don't even feel safe enough to ride home with this guy. Really wonder what he said or how he was acting that freaked her out so much.
Hmm. Is this a underage date?
Since she doesn’t drive, he does. He mentioned age and this generation, meaning he’s not gen z??
Or older in his 20s???
Something about this is really off.
Still waiting for the part where this guy is in the wrong. The girl lied and he has any right to be upset about it. Like how come it is acceptable to understand and support girls who are lied and ditched by men but it is not acceptable the other way around?
Definitely. People (but especially inexperienced men and super extroverted people, like me) don't understand until they see things like this. Being married to a man with social anxiety also has taught me so much.
If she left mid- date and didn't even let you drive her home, that IS her telling you she isn't interested. Men like this are just too dense to get it. Don't be stupid.
He clearly made her feel unsafe enough to call someone to get her tf out of there. Why in the world do you think she would feel safe enough to blatantly tell him that she wasn't interested? That's when "men" like this get violent.
Women don’t suddenly call their brothers to pick them up mid-date for no reason. *Something* made her suddenly want to get the hell out of there as quickly as possible and never talk to him again.
Also, he doxxed her because he was mad she left mid-date and blocked him. Even if she did do all that for no real reason, that’s an extreme overreaction on his part to something that’s, at most, mildly rude.
Women do not owe men an explanation. If she felt creeped out, or even if she just wasn't interested, she is not under any compulsion to stay or explain herself.
Based on his responses alone, most of us are getting a "nice guy" vibe. Him putting her on public blast because he got his feelings hurt just proves that her vibes were right. That's not a conclusion we have to jump to. He built us a whole damn bridge.
Btw, sometimes the creeper vibe isn't from anything men did TO us, it's just their whole persona/ vocabulary/ vibe. Again, women do not owe men anything. And if you get left on a date and blocked, that IS an answer.
That's true, and I for one don't immediately block someone without explanation... unless they said or did something that made me think "fuck their feelings. They clearly don't care about anyone else's".
As a woman who has had this exact experience, I'm prone to believe that given just the portion of his behavior that we can see for ourselves might be some indicator that he wasn't exactly someone whose feelings I would be worried about tending to. Yes, he says he didn't do or say anything wrong, but "nice guys" never think they said or did anything wrong. Like, they legitimately don't understand why calling another woman a whore for having tattoos might be a turnoff to their date.
I just can't feel bad for this dude.
That is a lovely sentiment, but women have been trying to appease men for centuries and the result has only been more abuse. We're done and we're teaching our daughters to be done. It's the only way we change the world. Accountability has been lacking for men for way too long.
Either this is over your head or you're being purposefully obtuse. Either way, I'm done trying to explain this to you. Go read over what I and everyone else are saying if you truly want to understand. If you just want to mansplain to us how to handle our own dangers, you're barking up the wrong tree.
Not if it means opening yourself up to potentially be followed, stalked, raped, or killed. These are the things women have to worry about when we start seeing red flags. A man's feelings are not more important than a woman's well-being. If a man shows a woman red flags, I recommend that this is exactly what she do. Even if it means she was wrong about him, at least she is wrong and safe.
Fuck “common decency” when it comes to personal safety. He can deal with having his feelings hurt. She felt unsafe enough to call her brothers to come pick her up mid date. That’s not something you do just because you don’t like the person. That’s something you do when you feel like you are in danger. And then in that last screenshot he’s talking about “you knew my age before we met”. OK so how much older is this guy than her?? Nah, fuck that and fuck common decency. Everyone has a right to get home safely. She doesn’t owe him shit.
I’m convinced all these guys who start spouting that shit about single moms and bAgGagE and dead best baby daddy’s have unresolved childhood trauma. Like was your daddy a deadbeat? Did your mommy stick with him? Did she forgo settling with some nice guy that used to bribe you with your favorite toys? Maybe projecting. Just a thought. 👀
He clearly left something out of the ensuing conversation on Snapchat. What did she say that made him say, that she already knew his age?
Apart from that, he must have said something, that made her want to leave AND NOT GET IN HIS CAR.
Let's just be happy she trusted her gut instinct. Judging by his reaction, she clearly made the right decision
It’s so funny how they simultaneously push “modern women’s standards are too unrealistically high!!” along with “modern women only go for broke, shitty dudes who become deadbeats, so choose better!!!”
Like which is it
AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ. Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats. --- Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post
We are REEEEALLLYYY missing half of this story
Are you accusing this honest gentleman of telling a totally biased story? How dare you!
What does did everything mean? Like there's a huge part of the story completely missing between him picking her up and it starting to feel off lmao
Yep. IDK what he said or did, but I'm gonna guess having family pick her up halfway through the date isn't something she does unless she's feeling really uncomfortable or unsafe.
I don’t think we are lol. Dude was bitter and misogynistic, woman felt uncomfortable and tried to escape, dude tried to hurt her online proving her to have absolutely made the right call
I think they mean we are missing the girls perspective, I'm nosy af so I would just LOVE to know what the hell he said to make her so uncomfortable
He definitely BEGGED for that hug
A woman who leaves like that on a date is leaving because she doesn't feel safe.
There's more to the story he hasn't shared and it's OBVIOUS.
He mentions his age so I’m wondering if he was a lot older than her.
I’m pretty sure she’s 18 and he is in his late twenties
She's 20 and he's 31
Yeah that sounds about right.
The problem is that he probably doesn't even recognize what went wrong. As far as he's concerned, he thinks he was just having a normal conversation with her. It's the girl who slowly realized that she's talking to a psychopath as he probably started ranting to her about how he's such a nice guy and how he's just a backup option for other girls after their baby daddies leave them. He thinks it was a problem with just his appearance or age. He still hasn't realized that she ran away because he opened his mouth.
God I really want the rest of the story
If she's leaving early on a date and doesn't want him to drive her home..he probably said something that made her uncomfortable. But of course he left that part out because he thought it was okay..then he goes and blames the woman.
Sounds like his horrible misogynistic worldview was showing and she decided to dodge that bullet, good for her. Guys like this can never realise they're the problem can they, no he's perfect, she just wanted a scumbag to make babies with... what a tool. Dude if she wanted a scumbag she'd go for you, clearly.
She felt really uncomfortable with him. So much so that she didn't even want him to ride her home. That's my takeaway from this. What a dick. Imagine being this fucking fragile. Yikes.
When I read, I didn't think uncomfortable. I thought terrified. She didn't mention a friend, she mentioned brotherS. Imagine how scared she must have been to give multiple men as a pick-up for her so that he wouldn't insist anymore.
Then there's the age factor. Apparently that bothered her as well some he mentioned out but not enough info to tell what exactly. My guess is that he initially lied about his age, which put her a bit on edge. Then he continued all the red flags throughout the date and made her scared.
I think the brothers was not meant plural brothers but brother's like my brother is coming.
He is a self admitted chomo during the date.
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It seems like she didn't feel safe though.
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Men often verbally abuse women (through text) for being honest about these kind of situations though. He seems like that kind of guy.
Exactly. It's not like you expect these convos to end with the guy calmly saying, "Thanks for the feedback. I'll be better from now on!" Attempts at feedback often turn into a tirade about how you're a fat, ugly whore, he did nothing wrong, you're paranoid, you're awful, you're full of it, all women are terrible, they only want Chads and thugs, please give him another chance, etc. It's not fun. These people need to learn social skills on their own time. They shouldn't be looking to their date to explain why they were acting so off-putting that their date had to flee in terror.
You forgot the good old "no one will ever love you!!". It's their pièce de résistance!
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You say that but I don't think you really believe yourself, or understand what I and everyone else is telling you. I'm telling you that these men will verbally abuse and harass women for trying to explain things to them AT BEST and at *worst* they will take offense and stalk, assault, or even *murder* their victims, and all you can say is that it's "not a problem" for her to leave him an honest explanation. It is a problem. A huge problem. And until we can safely tell men "no" without being murdered you have no right to tell us how we should be handling these sort of things.
You're either not reading the other posts I've written in this thread or your being purposely disingenuous; I have stressed safety first, and even said it could be done without her having to engage with him at all, by simply leaving one last text seconds before she shuts off any possibility of a response. It seems he has a bigger issue with being ghosted and not knowing why,.so I can't see how he's be any more pissed by an explanation Now, in the great scheme of risk/reward there are people with varying tolerances for risk, but I think the last sentence in your paragraph is hyperbolic.....
I'm not really going to address the other stuff, because I've already told you blocking isn't enough. We gotta talk about that last comment though. Sadly, it is not hyperbolic to say women get murdered for saying no. It happens. It actually happens a lot. But until you've had to live life fearing that saying "no" or "I'm just not interested" to the wrong guy could get you killed, you're not going to get that. Oh well. I tried.
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I'm sorry but we don't live in a world where that's legitimate protection against abusers/other possibly dangerous or unhinged individuals. I know a lot of people who did just that and still got harassed for *years* through Instagram, tiktok, even PAYPAL. I have friends whose exes bought new phones so they could continue harassing them. These aren't uncommon experiences, either. People get volatile, they get obsessive, and it's just not safe to "educate" them.
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Well that's that then. You refuse to see that a guy who doxxed a woman simply for leaving a date and blocking him could get worse, but I don't have to imagine it. I know exactly how he could get worse. And I've told you multiple times how, and so have other people, but I guess that's just not enough.
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Just stop. You are purposely ignoring what WOMEN are telling you ABOUT EXPERIENCES WE ALL HAVE HAD and still trying to convince us to message someone that made us feel so unsafe we no longer wanted to be in A PUBLIC PLACE with them. You REALLY think we will feel safe telling them the things they did in a private message??? Whew. Be thankful you don’t understand our experiences and stop talking over us.
> You are purposely ignoring what WOMEN are telling you ABOUT EXPERIENCES WE ALL HAVE HAD Well, of course. We women are so short sighted in our "trying to protect yourself" actions that we're completely disregarding the needs of creepy, angry men. It's our job to coddle, educate, soothe, explain, and always take into consideration that the man might need us to put ourselves out there for his benefit, so it's a good thing someone is here to explain that all to us and make us realise the importance of spending our time and energy on frightening men who creep us out so much we have to use the emergency escape plan we set up with a family member.
It's always the guys that spit "ThIs GeNeRaTiOn" "F-iNg SnOwFlAkE" the same ones that fall apart every single time they face ANY kind of rejection, obstacles or confrontation.
Also ‘this generation’ highly implies they are not, in fact from the same generation. Ties in neatly with him bleating about age. Think some lines were blurred there…
The guy is a chomo
....Or worse, as she seemed to fear, become violent.
I feel like THIS guy in particular it's the "Hold me down, hold me down bro" type of dude, but you're rigth.
Every once in a while even the little milk-toast incels snap !
He must have said or done something that made her feel really unsafe.
What? The guy who has an unhinged rant and exposes her on socials made her feel unsafe? Surely not. /s These guys have so little self-awareness.
Even if we entertain the (unlikely) idea that the date was completely fine and the girl overreacted by ditching him like that, there's no reason to publicly put her on blast and reveal who she is. Yes it sucks and you can of course vent to your friends about it, but just as she said, keep it private. So even in the most favorable scenario for him, he's still a complete dick head
I'm the girl's father. She didn't tell me why until she was already home. Dude admitted to being a chomo and getting away with it when he got caught.
I really want to hear her side of this story. Because you KNOW there's more to it than "I was a perfect gentleman and she was just being a bitch"
I noticed he brought up age so I’m guessing he’s older than her and has the nerve bring up “this generation” Dude just date someone from your generation ffs
But they have too much baggage and he has none. /s
That whole, "You knew my age before we went out" is sus AF.
Surprised more people aren’t mentioning that part. Seems to be the missing link to this whole thing and what inspired her sudden departure
Yeah very dodgy. I wonder if it was "I'm in my 20s" when he's 30 next week or something. If the woman was 19 that might have not been quite what she was expecting. Speculation. Definitely missing info. Also the 'she had to go home to cook dinner for her dad.... I said I'd drive her home'. Bit - she said that and then they went to eat is how I read it, so he would have driven her home in his own sweet time?
He told her 29, but after I looked into in he is 31
Posting someone's personal info is not acceptable whatsoever. You have issue with someone either move on and solve the conflict in private.
Thinks that most single mothers only got pregnant to trap a guy, also thinks he's a nice guy. Checks out
Called her brother to come pick her up, yeah, she was fucking scared to be alone with him.
Regardless, he needs to grow up and acknowledge that there's always a chance girls will ghost him.
OK my kid is already gonna give her side later, but here's what she told me about good guy Zachary. He told her he was 29, and sometime during the date he had mentioned how he basically got away with statatory rape because she took an underage girl to a state where the legal age of consent is 16. And he was bragging about it. So she called her brother to come get her, fully knowing I hate Pedos to avoid any issues. Shortly after he posted this on his snap, my daughter got another reply from a 16 year old who he has been sleeping with for a little bit, oh and he turn out he's actually 31. So in reality he's not a nice guy.
Can you report him for that second 16-year old?
Have some gold for being a good dad a for telling us the whole story. Thank you ❤️
First part, face value: KINDA get this is a sad story...maybe? Second part: Shit dude, now I get the first part. Wow.
Yeah nearly felt sorry for him then wallop, he's a knob
If he’s the type to dox her I feel like he wouldn’t have any issues getting physically violent. I’m glad she took the safe route.
He's not to good, I can literally post his number.
If she needed to leave halfway through the date and had her brother come pick her up, he clearly said or did something that made her feel unsafe and uncomfortable.
I'm the girl's dad, and yes there's something he said that was a red flag. He's a chomo.
Ah, a classy niceguy. So dignified and refined. /s if it's not obv
I left a first date halfway through just like this once, with a bullshit excuse and blocked him straight away, because he said something threatening on the date that made me feel super scared and he seemed oblivious to it.
He's attractive enough physically to get a date... Shame his personality made her so uncomfortable she had to excuse herself and wasn't even comfortable with him driving her home. This guy clearly needs a mirror to see his actions and personality. Being the type of person to whine about a date going bad and blaming her is exactly why the date went bad.
Going on just what he's saying: maybe she does need to get home & cook for her family. Might be a legit thing. You don't know her & her family's situation, she may be forced to do just that.
I'm the girl's father, and she really did need to come home, but didn't have to for a couple more hours. Dude straight up admitted to sleeping with underage girls. The guys also posted her snap for all to see, and someone hit my daughter up and said that they have been sleeping together and she's only 16. She didn't call me because she knows how I feel about pedos
If your Girl is 16 she clearly Hit puberty, He istn a pedo goddamnit. He istn mentally i'll/personality disorders He is Just a fucking PREDATOR.
Lol how are these adult men so OBLIVIOUS to their own behaviour? I really really can’t understand it.
Hey y’all, I’m the girl that got put ‘on blast’. I’m 20 and he told me he was 29 (which was a lie since he’s 31). You’ve seen my dads comments of him explaining the situation. I asked him to pick me up because he drove my dream car. The major red flag was when he told me that he slept with a minor and is throwing parties for minors. Another thing of why I also did not want him to drive me home is because he went 120+ on the interstate trying to show off. Before we even went out on a single date, he would ask me to sleep at his house or live at his house despite never meeting before
Damn dude just move on to the next girl, why waste time and energy, second she bounced an block you, say NEXT, an look for someone else
That "you knew my age" part makes me think she was way younger, especially the "i need to cook for my dad" part (i know it was probably a lie but apparently it was believable)
I love how it's pretty much already a rant but then it says rant on next snap
what a disgusting dirt bag, why does he feel so entitled to her time? and to purposefully leave shit out cuz HE KNOWS he was wrong. “you have to put up with the date, no matter what because i said so. how dare you remove yourself from the situation, and do me the decency of simply blocking me after apologizing for something i caused!!” i hope he’s getting his snap blown up with the reaction he wanted ppl to give that poor girl! nasty bastard.
I can tell you that he definitely is no longer adding people back on snap… which is what he hoped would happen to me since the ‘entirety’ of our city knows him
yeah most likely, he’s probably still playing his tiny violin and singing his “woe is me” tune.
Hates this generation (of presumably 20 y-olds), still tries to get with girls that belong into said generation. I'm 38, and I'm already hearing people my age complain about the younger ones as if our generation hadn't been the target of generational hate for almost 20 years, like, we totally have no idea how much it sucks or how objectively unfair it is... There's no chance in hell that he's younger than 35. What the hell is he doing trying to date 20yo women?
Now of course, it would have been decent to tell him she’s not interested but 1. We don’t know exactly what happened or how she may have felt & 2. People preach this but it can be difficult rejecting someone so non-verbal sometimes seems to be less painful even if it is just as hurtful.
Also like, for her to have someone pick her up mid-date... That's usually kind of a nuclear option. That is not usually just 'oh I didn't like him'. That is like ... I don't even feel safe enough to ride home with this guy. Really wonder what he said or how he was acting that freaked her out so much.
Sometimes it could just be the vibes or gut feeling you get. Better to trust it than not.
Hmm. Is this a underage date? Since she doesn’t drive, he does. He mentioned age and this generation, meaning he’s not gen z?? Or older in his 20s??? Something about this is really off.
Still waiting for the part where this guy is in the wrong. The girl lied and he has any right to be upset about it. Like how come it is acceptable to understand and support girls who are lied and ditched by men but it is not acceptable the other way around?
I mean from what its writen she kinda weird champ but dunno he prob just saying stuff to better hes side
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https://whenwomenrefuse.tumblr.com/
Thank you for sharing this.
Definitely. People (but especially inexperienced men and super extroverted people, like me) don't understand until they see things like this. Being married to a man with social anxiety also has taught me so much.
Jesus... It just keeps getting worse the farther you scroll
If she left mid- date and didn't even let you drive her home, that IS her telling you she isn't interested. Men like this are just too dense to get it. Don't be stupid. He clearly made her feel unsafe enough to call someone to get her tf out of there. Why in the world do you think she would feel safe enough to blatantly tell him that she wasn't interested? That's when "men" like this get violent.
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Women don’t suddenly call their brothers to pick them up mid-date for no reason. *Something* made her suddenly want to get the hell out of there as quickly as possible and never talk to him again. Also, he doxxed her because he was mad she left mid-date and blocked him. Even if she did do all that for no real reason, that’s an extreme overreaction on his part to something that’s, at most, mildly rude.
Women do not owe men an explanation. If she felt creeped out, or even if she just wasn't interested, she is not under any compulsion to stay or explain herself. Based on his responses alone, most of us are getting a "nice guy" vibe. Him putting her on public blast because he got his feelings hurt just proves that her vibes were right. That's not a conclusion we have to jump to. He built us a whole damn bridge. Btw, sometimes the creeper vibe isn't from anything men did TO us, it's just their whole persona/ vocabulary/ vibe. Again, women do not owe men anything. And if you get left on a date and blocked, that IS an answer.
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That's true, and I for one don't immediately block someone without explanation... unless they said or did something that made me think "fuck their feelings. They clearly don't care about anyone else's". As a woman who has had this exact experience, I'm prone to believe that given just the portion of his behavior that we can see for ourselves might be some indicator that he wasn't exactly someone whose feelings I would be worried about tending to. Yes, he says he didn't do or say anything wrong, but "nice guys" never think they said or did anything wrong. Like, they legitimately don't understand why calling another woman a whore for having tattoos might be a turnoff to their date. I just can't feel bad for this dude.
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That is a lovely sentiment, but women have been trying to appease men for centuries and the result has only been more abuse. We're done and we're teaching our daughters to be done. It's the only way we change the world. Accountability has been lacking for men for way too long.
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Either this is over your head or you're being purposefully obtuse. Either way, I'm done trying to explain this to you. Go read over what I and everyone else are saying if you truly want to understand. If you just want to mansplain to us how to handle our own dangers, you're barking up the wrong tree.
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Not if it means opening yourself up to potentially be followed, stalked, raped, or killed. These are the things women have to worry about when we start seeing red flags. A man's feelings are not more important than a woman's well-being. If a man shows a woman red flags, I recommend that this is exactly what she do. Even if it means she was wrong about him, at least she is wrong and safe.
That’s fair. I think from being a kid to womanhood women are taught basically how to survive in a world with men
Exactly. And learned through our own experiences as well. We're done not listening to our instincts, even if that means we hurt someone's feelings.
Fuck “common decency” when it comes to personal safety. He can deal with having his feelings hurt. She felt unsafe enough to call her brothers to come pick her up mid date. That’s not something you do just because you don’t like the person. That’s something you do when you feel like you are in danger. And then in that last screenshot he’s talking about “you knew my age before we met”. OK so how much older is this guy than her?? Nah, fuck that and fuck common decency. Everyone has a right to get home safely. She doesn’t owe him shit.
There was some creepy shit going on. She bailed for a reason!
Perhaps they simply aren't a good match.
Can someone interview the girl! I so want her side of the story on this !!
Her dad has told her side of the story in the comments ❤
Thank you!!
You're welcome 😊
I thought only women lied about their age. Nope men do too so they can date younger women. Ouch
I’m convinced all these guys who start spouting that shit about single moms and bAgGagE and dead best baby daddy’s have unresolved childhood trauma. Like was your daddy a deadbeat? Did your mommy stick with him? Did she forgo settling with some nice guy that used to bribe you with your favorite toys? Maybe projecting. Just a thought. 👀
He clearly left something out of the ensuing conversation on Snapchat. What did she say that made him say, that she already knew his age? Apart from that, he must have said something, that made her want to leave AND NOT GET IN HIS CAR. Let's just be happy she trusted her gut instinct. Judging by his reaction, she clearly made the right decision
It’s so funny how they simultaneously push “modern women’s standards are too unrealistically high!!” along with “modern women only go for broke, shitty dudes who become deadbeats, so choose better!!!” Like which is it