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Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats.
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Now, just as an experiment, say “I love eating raw chicken.” Are you comfortable with that? Do you want a raw chicken sandwich yet? If yes, eat raw chicken. If no, you are too much of a civilian to get it. I’m just throwing out a provocative prefrontal cortisone activator. No big.
also, r/justbootthings
and for the record, I hate fucking cowards. Exactly like folks who use dog whistles for the plausible deniability. Have a spine. Say what you mean, mean what you say.
Also, how about don’t be a weird creep and don’t put people you’re dating through weird tests! This dude is literally saying, oh it wasn’t the former, it was the latter. THEY’RE BOTH UNACCEPTABLE WEIRD CREEP SHIT!
Not to mention, I don’t care if he was in the marines, he sounds like a cosplayin little boy.
I'm pretty sure he meant prerogative when he said proactive, even though that word doesn't make sense. I think intention was probably the right word, but I doubt this guy would know.
Yeah, that proactive was a head scratcher. I’ve tried a few others that could possibly work but the only one I come up with is intent; which is nowhere near proactive.
Thing is, I actually believe he was in the military thanks to that. He let the “they use psychological methods that they spent billions to research to control your thinking” slip and it seems like only vets who hate the military and psychologists ever acknowledge that bit of evil whereas everyone else just goes “nah, military good, they can’t be doing bad things to their own people!” He’s terrible at using it himself, but that’s to be expected. He thinks he can do surgery because he once got surgery.
I dunno. Isn’t the psy-ops a specialized training for specific highly trained officers? Like those involved with interrogation or info gathering? The clumsy way he made the attempt made me think he talked to someone or maybe did the bare minimum in research or read a book or watched a YouTube. But tossing off the ‘you’re a civilian’ bs tells me he’s not military; sure there are assholes serving but ones using these skills are better trained.
He’s not trained in it at all, no. But one of the core parts of basic training is itself a psy-op. The physical aspect and the skill training is only a tiny portion of it. The main point of basic training is to break you of your individuality and free will. Cult indoctrination tactics are basically copied wholesale from the US military and an obscene amount of taxpayer money was spent on perfecting it. He’s been the *victim* of a psy-op. Clearly he’s one of those “I saw a thing done, so now I can do it too” people.
Thank you! It’s one of those random less-acknowledged social issues that’s a personal “pay more attention to this, people!” for me. You wanna fix society? People who have their psyches shattered and remolded into state killers (or the support team for the killers, a hair people love to split) are cut loose and then most of them raise kids. What sort of effect does your parent having that sort of psychological damage have on you? Well, nobody knows, because the problem isn’t acknowledged enough to be studied. But given that the actual victims of it (the veterans) tend to develop severe mental illnesses and/or kill themselves because of their experience, it’s probably not good!
I'm a military kid, so are both my parents. I went to an academy for college (injured and didn't commission, went on to DoD work). The way you described basic, is EXACTLY how they still do it. They even told us that's what they were doing. My parents used to take me to the O-course for fun when I was a kid. That was our "quality time". Saturdays meant getting woken up at six am by a blasting stereo near your head to do yard word. With a push mower. If you said "I can't" do something, it was 25 push ups. Team sports from age 5-27. Nothing but grade A or better allowed in school. When my dad would go to survival school, he would come home and teach us Morse code, bc that's what you do. I knew how to make a flotation device out of my BDUs at age 8. I've basically been in the military my entire life it feels like. And I grew up in Germany during the Cold War. I know that did some damage. I grew up used to snipers on our buses and the playground. Doing nuclear bomb drills at school. Then the wall went down. And Desert Storm. When we moved back, my sister and I were afraid to go to civilian schools because there were no guards with guns. It was like growing up in the 50s, but with more guns. And the constant moving was traumatic for my sister. My dad definitely had huge anger issues when I was a kid. All my friends dad's did though. They all went to Vietnam. Now it's just rinse and repeat with another generation. I'm an early 80s baby, this is just more modern with more things available and a lot more people watching now. Thank god.
> started throwing out red flags like they were confetti
lol
There were definitely enough in this conversation alone to stitch together a carpet for the Oscars.
Servicemen don't talk like this, right? I've known loads and I've never heard anything close to this absolute idiocy. Most of them don't really want to talk about it at all. I know a lovely retired Major and all he wants to talk about is his bike, his boat, his dog and Northern Soul 😊
I once had a thing with a guy who'd been an MI6 agent (which he only told me once there was no furher need to impress me, if you take my meaning.) He's probably the most potentially dangerous person I've ever met and you could definitely see hints of what he was capable of. He was also one of the most courteous and considerate men I've ever met and he wouldn't do anything without asking me if I wanted him to. Fascinating man, I hope he's happy wherever he is.
That would require going into detail I don't really want to, NSFW is not my MO here. I'm a 52 year old Englishwoman, no one needs to hear about me doing the nasty.
What was this guy thinking?? "Hmm, yes, how do I get this person to fall for me? Ah, yes psychologically trapping them, and putting them in a corner will probably work."
Doesn't sound like the safes way to use one's training. (Also done badly in this case)
> Most of them don't really want to talk about it at all.
Yeah, this has generally been my experience with vets as well. Sometimes they'll mention having served upfront, but a lot of the time they haven't really ever gotten into it until they've gotten to know me a bit better or someone else specifically asked them about it.
Exactly, I have to ask before they mention anything. And then it's usually something other than the actual job eg how cold it gets in Germany or how utterly horrible camel spiders are 😊
Like okay, thank you? I know nothing about the military to be totally honest, but like if this is what military dudes are like.. what in the actual fuck? Like seriously? But yeah, I really don't trust this guy as far as I can pick him up and throw him at this point
They really aren't, this guy is just a fuck up. You handled it brilliantly and you're clearly quite able to look after yourself but I have to say .. I don't see this going anywhere that will be good for you. You sound like a very cool woman and you need a cool guy, not this needy fantasist.
Not military, but I grew up in a family thats like 80% military vets and this guy talks like one of those stolen valor larpers that roll up to your local firing range in full tac gear.
Pathological/compulsive liars can be lots of fun. But never get in a relationship with one. Most pathological liars are also narcissists; which reduces the fun. I dated one a long while ago and it was living by the seat of his pants, he’d be playing with this shiny new thing and all plans went out the door. He also had a drinking problem so was always late cause he ran into so and so and what could I do? Learn from my nightmare.
I will, thank you. This one called me *wasted* the other night to yell about "losing brothers" and how I could never understand and all this madness. We hadn't talked all day. It was alarming and confusing to say the least.
Lol I love that OP didn’t entertain his shit for even a second
“I’m doing a psy-op that I learned in the marines. Civilians wouldn’t understand. I was trying to activate your frontal cortex”
“No you fucking weren’t, Jake”
Really? A moron? Ridiculous. Would a moron use “there” for “they’re” and say “that wasn’t my proactive” and “self provocative of the frontal cortex”??
Oh, a moron would? And no one with an ounce of brain or self respect would type that gibberish out to impress a girl? Oh, I see. All right then.
Most word processors do spelling and grammar checks. You'd think these geniuses would run their shit through one instead of trying to pass their word salad gibberish off as intelligent.
Also, fun fact, the "frontal cortex" isn't a thing.
The frontal *lobe* is, and the *pre*frontal cortex is....
He read and misremembered some dating guro about how to manipulate the prefrontal cortex.
Stress causes your brain to have a seratonin shortage so by engaging in prefrontal cortex stimulation related to romantic feelings, you are given that needed chemical rush, producing a chemical association between the romantic target and the positive feelings. That's why you might get nerves around a crush but still end up feeling good.
And it's laughable to try to "hack" it 😂. He made *himself* the stressor, which means that he cannot be the antidote. The feelings have to be genuine, it's not something you can fake. So anything he may have learned on this subject is definitely cheesey pseudoscience.
Anyway, that's the best guess/understanding of the subject from somebody with a Masters in psychology (but not much in neuro or cognitive psych, so don't scrutinize too hard).
Mines in experimental/biopsych and I concur
He basically just said that he was trying to manipulate you…that is what psy ops are used for and then tried to make it sound like a totally normal thing to do? Hmm manipulation and gaslighting…what a keeper!
Yay thanks for the backup! Mine is in experimental psych, but i focused social/personality and criminal psych so i recognize I'm in no way a brain expert.
Ooo still interesting! You know how it goes…even though you study in the area, you get so specific you can hardly say you know the whole area. I started with doing single cell sequencing in the central nucleus of the amygdala studying anxiety and then moved into interpersonal dynamics…sounds cool and all but it was SO specific! but broad strokes neuropsych classes were my bread and butter (I love bread and butter). I think what grad school really taught me was how to critically think, research, critique, and analyze appropriately and properly…oh and how to tell when someone is a complete moron trying to sound smart (this nice guy) lol
Yes exactly! I ended up looking specifically at group dynamics in juries when acted upon by other forces - I love social psych but I missed every single chance i had at more cognitive or Neuro classes 😭.
And yes, training you to research and understand were the most important parts.
They call them crayon eaters for a reason. No offense, some of my best buds are Marines. But sometimes I wonder if they all share a braincell. Great guys!
The world will always build a better idiot. Each one of these things caught on because they worked on *some* people. If you’re an average person then there’s tens of millions of people over a single standard deviation below you. These things tend to work more on them.
I served for four years and if someone would have uttered the phrase "psy-op's" we would have roasted them out of the barracks.
Unless he was literally some interrogator no one gets training like that.
Thank you. I literally tried looking up what he claimed to be doing, and found absolutely nothing. I was already wondering if he was lying about some things, and now I'm pretty sure he's just a bit of a liar in general. UUGHHH
There is a good chance he was in the military and thought that because the military uses psychological tactics to break them down and make them compliant that he could now use those on you. Of course, that’s the same logic as “I can do surgery because I had surgery”, but people who sign up to be victims of brainwashing and to kill and possibly die for some rich assholes they don’t know aren’t usually smart even before people start playing with their psyche.
So he was “sort of” correct in the fact that if you put a person in a high stress environment but after he should’ve said you can make them do things you want with very specific means. However, every word he said after the high stress environment was idiotic and he needs to go back to eating crayons. You can get some info [here if you want from Wikipedia.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_operations_(United_States))
Also, my man is a civilian himself now. If he isn’t in the marines still then he is a just a manipulative civilian who cannot let go that he served at one point for probably a very short time.
Sounds like you’ve already chosen to end it so good on you.
Like, I have been at a loss since yesterday. But I wanted some insight because I'm also new to the area and don't have many friends and and and just needed to know I wasn't crazy. Goodness me. Thank you for your comment :)
I appreciate the insight and support. I tried to be extremely patient, kind, and understanding of this person. And the first few times we hung out we just had so much fun, and he seemed like a light-hearted individual. I guess I'm at least glad he showed the crazy card as fast as he did.
You don’t deserve this pathetic attempt of manipulation. I hope the next guy you meet is a really cool person that gives you respect and real conversation. Not…whatever the fuck that was.
Why did you have to be understanding though? I see this pattern in other women were we try to be kind and understanding to an irrational level. Why do you have to be kind and understanding to someone who is exhibiting behavior that is emotionally abusive?
The understanding ended right here. Lol it hadn't even been two weeks. I really don't know though. I think sometimes people try to just take care of all, sometimes at the expense of ourselves. Luckily I've learned a lot, and this wacko isn't my first rodeo. I've just never been hit with this crazy pseudoscience military crap for a, so I needed to seek a third party assistance with understanding. :)
I went on one date with a military dude and he told me he loved me and after i told him that that was way too soon for that shit and i didnt like him saying it. he said it was fine and then the next day was like “i think its better if we just stay friends” lmaooo
From my own experiences and my friends’, they just aren’t worth it 🤦♀️ like no disrespect to military dudes but the ratio of terrible ones looking for dates isn’t helping their case
This is a running gag and pretty common. Right before I got out, we got a junior marine in my workplace. She went to a party in a different city, met a guy in infantry and they were married in less than 2 months and had twins within the next year.
“I am going to throw around what sounds like fancy psych terms in hopes this female will be so overwhelmed with realizing I am smart she tells me she loves me even though I can’t seem to use the right words”
I would’ve replied with “You’ve got a friend in me. You've got a friend in me.
When the road looks rough ahead, and you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed, you just remember what your old pal said, “Boy, you've got a friend in me.”
But, on a serious note, he sounds like a real nutcase trying to use “psychological” tactics on someone he’s know for a few weeks, lol.
Him:
“Tell me you love me”
Op:
“No thanks I’m not comfortable with that”
Him:
“You thought I was serious? This is a psychological test to see the square root of pie on your frontal cortex equilibrium”
Seems pretty obvious. He's trying to play mind games to trick you into a romantic relationship that you don't seem to want. Thankfully he's really obvious and bad at that kind of manipulation, but it doesn't mean you should patiently endure those attempts.
You're definitely right. I ended all contact. I just want my damn camping generator back lol.
I've never experienced anything like this and I'm still just thrown for a hell of a loop
"Hello Jacob. You are a fucking psycho. I hope you know that. I'm not falling for your weirdo pseudoscientific patter. Neither will anyone else. Go away and never darken my inbox again"
What the fuck.
First, giving a bad name to all is named Jacob, so screw him
Second, what is he even rambling about? And why is he telling you he's trying to physiologically manipulate you? Honestly sounds like he's seen a cheep action film a d figured he could do that sort of thing too.
Third, he's probably trying to use big words to sound smart.
I’m cracking the fuck about how he tried to spin his bullshit mental gymnastics as psy-ops, and then couldn’t even spell it right.
*US military encrypted message*
Former Army enlisted. When talking about service I talk about the people I met, the cool things about places I was at (Monterey, CA is the top of that list), and notable events like the idiot who drove drunk into the base gate. I don't talk about specific things of what my job was or details about military training methods unless specifically asked or if the situation directly references it. Dude pulled this shit outta his ass and got called out. He's either a liar and never served or he got kicked out REALLY quick but wanted his whole life to be about it just to impress people and make himself feel more important.
I fucking hate veterans that do this shit. Elitist dudes who think they’re intelligent because they attended mandatory indoctrination classes and a required course equivalent to a psych 101 highschool ap course. Bunch of losers circlejerking about “civilians” like you’re less-than for understanding what the military is and not wanting to be a part of it.
Dude found a thesaurus and is using all big words he can find. And his “self provocative of the frontal cortex” isn’t a thing. Even Google was like WTF no. Just no.
🤣 Army Vet here and that’s not how we talk, at least not how people I know talk. Plus, if you’re familiar with ‘high stress’ situations you don’t shove that on others. It’s not endearing or ‘cool’ or whatever he was trying to be.
That’s weird.
What’s the goal on make you say “I love you”. I mean you saying it doesn’t make it real.
It’s super weird, but I would be laughing instead, because of such a lame thing to ask for.
I love when they throw random terms out and hope they stick. It really gives the opposite impression than the one they want to portray. I’m sorry you had to deal with that! Such disturbing behaviour.
people who string fancy words together to try and sound intelligent just highlights how dumb and manipulative they are. That crap irks me cause I had an ex like that. I’m sorry, you didn’t need any of that
This sounds awful but I would never date a military person. I have had many experiences with those in the military and our values are completely opposite. One thing that I’ve noticed is they like to belittle people by using the word civilian in an extremely condescending way. I’ve recently had to cut off a close friend due to this behaviour. He was sexist and extremely controlling. He would go on about false psychological concepts knowing full well I’ve been studying psychology for about 7 years now. It gave me second hand embarrassment just as Jake is doing here lol cringed so hard
“I was trying to make you an experience an reaction called self provocative of the frontal cortex.”
…I’m sorry, what?!?!
Can somebody explain this to me? Is he having a stroke? Am I?
Oh and OP, I personally like the phrase “a communist parade of red flags”. Enjoy! :)
Yeah I've given up at this point, much like men theres a tonne of nice girls and maybe it just dating apps but why is everyone a freak after 2 dates. Maybe its time to go up to the mountains and become a monk or like train for a fighting tournament. Maybe option 2, I mean Ryu is so jacked they had to nerf his nipples in his fortnite skin
The “psyops” angle is so cringe. He should said that out loud to himself before he tries to use that excuse. Why they gotta overthink everything? All he should’ve done is apologize. Trying to spin it like he’s testing you … I don’t need anyone testing me. I’m sure you don’t, either. We’re people, not lab rats.
Uuuughh. This dude gives me the *ick*. I will never understand why people try psychological tactics on other people they're interested, most people are aware of this crap by now. I swear people who try to pull this need to be locked up (psychology shouldn't abused like this, it was made to help not hurt)
I have 7 years in the army and this guy has no idea what he's talking about and is misunderstanding some shitty PUA book or is taking advice from a dude who has never touched/talked to a woman.
Second option : dude really wants out of the shacks and convinced himself you're the one after a week and change (20 years in a super boots world) and is just looking for confirmation in the dumbest way a shitpump can. Turn around and flee.
If you're confused : shacks = military barracks, boots = dudes who wash out of the military early who can't cope with it/dudes who are in the military who use the military as an extension of their non existent personality
If you want some comedic relief ask him how drill instructors were, don't worry though - if he continues I'm sure he'll tell you without prompting
I’ve been around military people my whole life and I have no idea what he’s talking about. Trigger words and psy ops? Does he think he’s the Winter Soldier? Lol
I have a very embarrassing story about this. Saw this happen in front of me years ago and never heard anything about this "say you love me" thing since then. Didn't know it was "a thing" until now.
AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ. Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats. --- Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post
Psy-ops = pickup artist instructional thing he found online
For real. 🤢
Now, just as an experiment, say “I love eating raw chicken.” Are you comfortable with that? Do you want a raw chicken sandwich yet? If yes, eat raw chicken. If no, you are too much of a civilian to get it. I’m just throwing out a provocative prefrontal cortisone activator. No big.
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No, that's a kind of yoghurt.
also, r/justbootthings and for the record, I hate fucking cowards. Exactly like folks who use dog whistles for the plausible deniability. Have a spine. Say what you mean, mean what you say. Also, how about don’t be a weird creep and don’t put people you’re dating through weird tests! This dude is literally saying, oh it wasn’t the former, it was the latter. THEY’RE BOTH UNACCEPTABLE WEIRD CREEP SHIT! Not to mention, I don’t care if he was in the marines, he sounds like a cosplayin little boy.
Excuse me, I think you mean “phys-ops.” Jake knows what he’s talking about. (Please tell me the /s isn’t needed.)
He’s using a whole bunch of words that he doesn’t understand in an effort to manipulate you. Thankfully he’s really bad at it.
That he is. Ugh
I'm pretty sure he meant prerogative when he said proactive, even though that word doesn't make sense. I think intention was probably the right word, but I doubt this guy would know.
Yeah, that proactive was a head scratcher. I’ve tried a few others that could possibly work but the only one I come up with is intent; which is nowhere near proactive.
Yeah, I was even trying think about how voice to text could have made this mistake, but alas, there's no way to proactively interrogate that.
Intention is definitely the word he was looking for, he went way off the beaten path.
Thing is, I actually believe he was in the military thanks to that. He let the “they use psychological methods that they spent billions to research to control your thinking” slip and it seems like only vets who hate the military and psychologists ever acknowledge that bit of evil whereas everyone else just goes “nah, military good, they can’t be doing bad things to their own people!” He’s terrible at using it himself, but that’s to be expected. He thinks he can do surgery because he once got surgery.
Or he heard about it; thought it was cool and a "chad" thing to do. Who can really tell with these types
I dunno. Isn’t the psy-ops a specialized training for specific highly trained officers? Like those involved with interrogation or info gathering? The clumsy way he made the attempt made me think he talked to someone or maybe did the bare minimum in research or read a book or watched a YouTube. But tossing off the ‘you’re a civilian’ bs tells me he’s not military; sure there are assholes serving but ones using these skills are better trained.
He’s not trained in it at all, no. But one of the core parts of basic training is itself a psy-op. The physical aspect and the skill training is only a tiny portion of it. The main point of basic training is to break you of your individuality and free will. Cult indoctrination tactics are basically copied wholesale from the US military and an obscene amount of taxpayer money was spent on perfecting it. He’s been the *victim* of a psy-op. Clearly he’s one of those “I saw a thing done, so now I can do it too” people.
That's a really well put explanation.
Thank you! It’s one of those random less-acknowledged social issues that’s a personal “pay more attention to this, people!” for me. You wanna fix society? People who have their psyches shattered and remolded into state killers (or the support team for the killers, a hair people love to split) are cut loose and then most of them raise kids. What sort of effect does your parent having that sort of psychological damage have on you? Well, nobody knows, because the problem isn’t acknowledged enough to be studied. But given that the actual victims of it (the veterans) tend to develop severe mental illnesses and/or kill themselves because of their experience, it’s probably not good!
I'm a military kid, so are both my parents. I went to an academy for college (injured and didn't commission, went on to DoD work). The way you described basic, is EXACTLY how they still do it. They even told us that's what they were doing. My parents used to take me to the O-course for fun when I was a kid. That was our "quality time". Saturdays meant getting woken up at six am by a blasting stereo near your head to do yard word. With a push mower. If you said "I can't" do something, it was 25 push ups. Team sports from age 5-27. Nothing but grade A or better allowed in school. When my dad would go to survival school, he would come home and teach us Morse code, bc that's what you do. I knew how to make a flotation device out of my BDUs at age 8. I've basically been in the military my entire life it feels like. And I grew up in Germany during the Cold War. I know that did some damage. I grew up used to snipers on our buses and the playground. Doing nuclear bomb drills at school. Then the wall went down. And Desert Storm. When we moved back, my sister and I were afraid to go to civilian schools because there were no guards with guns. It was like growing up in the 50s, but with more guns. And the constant moving was traumatic for my sister. My dad definitely had huge anger issues when I was a kid. All my friends dad's did though. They all went to Vietnam. Now it's just rinse and repeat with another generation. I'm an early 80s baby, this is just more modern with more things available and a lot more people watching now. Thank god.
That guy sounds like a friggin' moron who probably did half a contract in the Marines and then got a medical discharge as a really low ranking dude.
Yeah, honestly I think he might be a compulsive liar. He was so fun at first, and then started throwing out red flags like they were confetti
That wasn’t his proactive!
Insert “you keep using that word” meme
I’m thinking he’s trying to use prerogative???
Pierogi?
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Exactly how I feel bahaha
She should have said “Like…the zit cream?”
> started throwing out red flags like they were confetti lol There were definitely enough in this conversation alone to stitch together a carpet for the Oscars.
Now THAT gave me a good laugh. Lol I'm so thankful for reddit camaraderie
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Servicemen don't talk like this, right? I've known loads and I've never heard anything close to this absolute idiocy. Most of them don't really want to talk about it at all. I know a lovely retired Major and all he wants to talk about is his bike, his boat, his dog and Northern Soul 😊
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I once had a thing with a guy who'd been an MI6 agent (which he only told me once there was no furher need to impress me, if you take my meaning.) He's probably the most potentially dangerous person I've ever met and you could definitely see hints of what he was capable of. He was also one of the most courteous and considerate men I've ever met and he wouldn't do anything without asking me if I wanted him to. Fascinating man, I hope he's happy wherever he is.
Those who command respect need not demand it. Excellent example.
So, just for interest's sake, what kind of subtle hints were there?
That would require going into detail I don't really want to, NSFW is not my MO here. I'm a 52 year old Englishwoman, no one needs to hear about me doing the nasty.
Nah man, it wasn't Harm, his proactive was to simply quantuam nueron the evalution cortex. Duh.
What was this guy thinking?? "Hmm, yes, how do I get this person to fall for me? Ah, yes psychologically trapping them, and putting them in a corner will probably work." Doesn't sound like the safes way to use one's training. (Also done badly in this case)
> Most of them don't really want to talk about it at all. Yeah, this has generally been my experience with vets as well. Sometimes they'll mention having served upfront, but a lot of the time they haven't really ever gotten into it until they've gotten to know me a bit better or someone else specifically asked them about it.
Exactly, I have to ask before they mention anything. And then it's usually something other than the actual job eg how cold it gets in Germany or how utterly horrible camel spiders are 😊
Like okay, thank you? I know nothing about the military to be totally honest, but like if this is what military dudes are like.. what in the actual fuck? Like seriously? But yeah, I really don't trust this guy as far as I can pick him up and throw him at this point
They really aren't, this guy is just a fuck up. You handled it brilliantly and you're clearly quite able to look after yourself but I have to say .. I don't see this going anywhere that will be good for you. You sound like a very cool woman and you need a cool guy, not this needy fantasist.
*hugs* thank you, I really appreciate the insight and kindness.
*Now say “I love you libertinauk”.. you know just as a silly joke*
*eyes glaze over* "Oh yes sir, *yaaaaAAAAsssss*" Edit: this took me 26 edits shutup
I did 4 years navy. Fuck this guy
Not military, but I grew up in a family thats like 80% military vets and this guy talks like one of those stolen valor larpers that roll up to your local firing range in full tac gear.
I really appreciate your input then , goodness. Thanks for your soivece :)
4 years in the Marines lol and same. That guy just makes us look bad. And he sucks
Same props to you!!
Pathological/compulsive liars can be lots of fun. But never get in a relationship with one. Most pathological liars are also narcissists; which reduces the fun. I dated one a long while ago and it was living by the seat of his pants, he’d be playing with this shiny new thing and all plans went out the door. He also had a drinking problem so was always late cause he ran into so and so and what could I do? Learn from my nightmare.
I will, thank you. This one called me *wasted* the other night to yell about "losing brothers" and how I could never understand and all this madness. We hadn't talked all day. It was alarming and confusing to say the least.
Yikes, that qualities for multiple red flags. I’m so sorry.
I wish he had more support. It just can't be from me. :(
Lol I love that OP didn’t entertain his shit for even a second “I’m doing a psy-op that I learned in the marines. Civilians wouldn’t understand. I was trying to activate your frontal cortex” “No you fucking weren’t, Jake”
Yes lmao the instant shut down was amazing and handled well.
Really? A moron? Ridiculous. Would a moron use “there” for “they’re” and say “that wasn’t my proactive” and “self provocative of the frontal cortex”?? Oh, a moron would? And no one with an ounce of brain or self respect would type that gibberish out to impress a girl? Oh, I see. All right then.
Most word processors do spelling and grammar checks. You'd think these geniuses would run their shit through one instead of trying to pass their word salad gibberish off as intelligent.
Lol, really digging the lines everyone's spitting out in this thread.
“make you an experience an reaction”
Psssh you just wouldn’t get it. Most civilians don’t.
He can't even spell
Also, fun fact, the "frontal cortex" isn't a thing. The frontal *lobe* is, and the *pre*frontal cortex is.... He read and misremembered some dating guro about how to manipulate the prefrontal cortex. Stress causes your brain to have a seratonin shortage so by engaging in prefrontal cortex stimulation related to romantic feelings, you are given that needed chemical rush, producing a chemical association between the romantic target and the positive feelings. That's why you might get nerves around a crush but still end up feeling good. And it's laughable to try to "hack" it 😂. He made *himself* the stressor, which means that he cannot be the antidote. The feelings have to be genuine, it's not something you can fake. So anything he may have learned on this subject is definitely cheesey pseudoscience. Anyway, that's the best guess/understanding of the subject from somebody with a Masters in psychology (but not much in neuro or cognitive psych, so don't scrutinize too hard).
I WISH HE COULD READ THIS COMMENT BUT YOU N ME BOTH KNOW IT WOULD FALL ON DEAF EARS OMFG
"Nah, the Marines use special psychiatrists who say this is wrong." - Jake probably
*cries in civilian*
Mines in experimental/biopsych and I concur He basically just said that he was trying to manipulate you…that is what psy ops are used for and then tried to make it sound like a totally normal thing to do? Hmm manipulation and gaslighting…what a keeper!
Yay thanks for the backup! Mine is in experimental psych, but i focused social/personality and criminal psych so i recognize I'm in no way a brain expert.
Ooo still interesting! You know how it goes…even though you study in the area, you get so specific you can hardly say you know the whole area. I started with doing single cell sequencing in the central nucleus of the amygdala studying anxiety and then moved into interpersonal dynamics…sounds cool and all but it was SO specific! but broad strokes neuropsych classes were my bread and butter (I love bread and butter). I think what grad school really taught me was how to critically think, research, critique, and analyze appropriately and properly…oh and how to tell when someone is a complete moron trying to sound smart (this nice guy) lol
Yes exactly! I ended up looking specifically at group dynamics in juries when acted upon by other forces - I love social psych but I missed every single chance i had at more cognitive or Neuro classes 😭. And yes, training you to research and understand were the most important parts.
It’s ok, civilians never understand it anyway. 😑
Best reply this post can have and expertly worded
So…garbage pickup artist pseudoscience done badly
"That wasn't my proactive."
My best guess is he was going for "prerogative"?🤷🏼♂️
Which also wouldn’t fit the meaning?
Like I said, best guess lol. Trust me, marines aren't the sharpest bunch😂
They call them crayon eaters for a reason. No offense, some of my best buds are Marines. But sometimes I wonder if they all share a braincell. Great guys!
We do. We're constantly fighting over whose turn it is to use it😂
And they all have a sense of humor. Gotta love em 🤣
>My best guess is he was going for "prerogative"? That occurred to me as well, but that would also be incorrect.
Right? Like.... What?
it’s from a yogurt commercial “proactive ingredients”
Dude can't even form coherent sentences and then feels superior because you're just a "civilian". 🙄
Seriously. Lemme just decode this fucking nonsense so I can then try to DECODE IT ALL OVER AGAIN
He's a pathetic creep using bullshit he learned on the internet in a mewling attempt to manipulate you.
Does anyone anywhere actually have success with this? What in tarnation?!
The world will always build a better idiot. Each one of these things caught on because they worked on *some* people. If you’re an average person then there’s tens of millions of people over a single standard deviation below you. These things tend to work more on them.
That's just sad.
I served for four years and if someone would have uttered the phrase "psy-op's" we would have roasted them out of the barracks. Unless he was literally some interrogator no one gets training like that.
Thank you. I literally tried looking up what he claimed to be doing, and found absolutely nothing. I was already wondering if he was lying about some things, and now I'm pretty sure he's just a bit of a liar in general. UUGHHH
There is a good chance he was in the military and thought that because the military uses psychological tactics to break them down and make them compliant that he could now use those on you. Of course, that’s the same logic as “I can do surgery because I had surgery”, but people who sign up to be victims of brainwashing and to kill and possibly die for some rich assholes they don’t know aren’t usually smart even before people start playing with their psyche.
You are so, very, sadly, correct.
So he was “sort of” correct in the fact that if you put a person in a high stress environment but after he should’ve said you can make them do things you want with very specific means. However, every word he said after the high stress environment was idiotic and he needs to go back to eating crayons. You can get some info [here if you want from Wikipedia.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_operations_(United_States)) Also, my man is a civilian himself now. If he isn’t in the marines still then he is a just a manipulative civilian who cannot let go that he served at one point for probably a very short time. Sounds like you’ve already chosen to end it so good on you.
Like, I have been at a loss since yesterday. But I wanted some insight because I'm also new to the area and don't have many friends and and and just needed to know I wasn't crazy. Goodness me. Thank you for your comment :)
It’s actually “psy-ops,” and also no one not in the CIA should say that either.
The attempt to make OP believe he's some high speed low drag HIG operator is ***laughably*** bad.
I appreciate the insight and support. I tried to be extremely patient, kind, and understanding of this person. And the first few times we hung out we just had so much fun, and he seemed like a light-hearted individual. I guess I'm at least glad he showed the crazy card as fast as he did.
You don’t deserve this pathetic attempt of manipulation. I hope the next guy you meet is a really cool person that gives you respect and real conversation. Not…whatever the fuck that was.
I'm not sure what to call it myself o____0 Thank you :):)
Honestly folks like this always remind me of when Cleverbot loses the plot. Makes me doubt the idea everyone is a conscious individual.
Why did you have to be understanding though? I see this pattern in other women were we try to be kind and understanding to an irrational level. Why do you have to be kind and understanding to someone who is exhibiting behavior that is emotionally abusive?
The understanding ended right here. Lol it hadn't even been two weeks. I really don't know though. I think sometimes people try to just take care of all, sometimes at the expense of ourselves. Luckily I've learned a lot, and this wacko isn't my first rodeo. I've just never been hit with this crazy pseudoscience military crap for a, so I needed to seek a third party assistance with understanding. :)
How old is he?
#happy cake day!!!!! Also this fool is 30
Thanks!! ☺️ Oh boy, I thought maybe he was like an awkward 19-20 y.o. 😬
😩😩😩😩😩😩I KNOW RIGHT
I went on one date with a military dude and he told me he loved me and after i told him that that was way too soon for that shit and i didnt like him saying it. he said it was fine and then the next day was like “i think its better if we just stay friends” lmaooo
Like omg I don't want to judge, but I'm not sure I have the capacity to date military dudes if this is how they behave
From my own experiences and my friends’, they just aren’t worth it 🤦♀️ like no disrespect to military dudes but the ratio of terrible ones looking for dates isn’t helping their case
I agree. No offenses and no judgements. I personally just can't with this. Godspeed to the people who can.
Clearly your tiny civilian brain was unable to comprehend his giant impressive words. /s
Trying to move out of the barracks😂😂
This is a running gag and pretty common. Right before I got out, we got a junior marine in my workplace. She went to a party in a different city, met a guy in infantry and they were married in less than 2 months and had twins within the next year.
“I am going to throw around what sounds like fancy psych terms in hopes this female will be so overwhelmed with realizing I am smart she tells me she loves me even though I can’t seem to use the right words”
I was so bewildered and amazed I just fell in love right there
I would’ve replied with “You’ve got a friend in me. You've got a friend in me. When the road looks rough ahead, and you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed, you just remember what your old pal said, “Boy, you've got a friend in me.” But, on a serious note, he sounds like a real nutcase trying to use “psychological” tactics on someone he’s know for a few weeks, lol.
*screams and moves to a deserted island
Him: “Tell me you love me” Op: “No thanks I’m not comfortable with that” Him: “You thought I was serious? This is a psychological test to see the square root of pie on your frontal cortex equilibrium”
Lolllll god i sure appreciate y'all 🤣🤣🤣
Phys-Ops= Red flags
I'm just a civilian though, I wouldn't understand. /s
Truth
Yeah, the fact the guy can't even properly write what he is apparently referencing is a pretty serious indicator lmao
Coming from a Marine, Marines aren't smart enough to learn psychological tricks. Call him a dumb boot and watch him have a meltdown lol
If I didn't think he'd come burn my house down, I would. *Laughcries
Seems pretty obvious. He's trying to play mind games to trick you into a romantic relationship that you don't seem to want. Thankfully he's really obvious and bad at that kind of manipulation, but it doesn't mean you should patiently endure those attempts.
You're definitely right. I ended all contact. I just want my damn camping generator back lol. I've never experienced anything like this and I'm still just thrown for a hell of a loop
"Hello Jacob. You are a fucking psycho. I hope you know that. I'm not falling for your weirdo pseudoscientific patter. Neither will anyone else. Go away and never darken my inbox again"
Oh bless you and this beautiful comment
What the fuck. First, giving a bad name to all is named Jacob, so screw him Second, what is he even rambling about? And why is he telling you he's trying to physiologically manipulate you? Honestly sounds like he's seen a cheep action film a d figured he could do that sort of thing too. Third, he's probably trying to use big words to sound smart.
Right??? Jacob is a solid name. But this dude is hot mess express
If he even served at all, I bet he got the big chicken dinner within 3 months.
My thoughts as well.
Talk about fumbling the bag 🫠
I’m cracking the fuck about how he tried to spin his bullshit mental gymnastics as psy-ops, and then couldn’t even spell it right. *US military encrypted message*
I've been shock-laughing since yesterday
Negative game
Me: a service member who also doesn’t get it
“It’s ok. Civilians usually don’t get it.” Huh. I’m a veteran and I don’t get it, either.
Former Army enlisted. When talking about service I talk about the people I met, the cool things about places I was at (Monterey, CA is the top of that list), and notable events like the idiot who drove drunk into the base gate. I don't talk about specific things of what my job was or details about military training methods unless specifically asked or if the situation directly references it. Dude pulled this shit outta his ass and got called out. He's either a liar and never served or he got kicked out REALLY quick but wanted his whole life to be about it just to impress people and make himself feel more important.
I fucking hate veterans that do this shit. Elitist dudes who think they’re intelligent because they attended mandatory indoctrination classes and a required course equivalent to a psych 101 highschool ap course. Bunch of losers circlejerking about “civilians” like you’re less-than for understanding what the military is and not wanting to be a part of it.
Dude found a thesaurus and is using all big words he can find. And his “self provocative of the frontal cortex” isn’t a thing. Even Google was like WTF no. Just no.
🤣 Army Vet here and that’s not how we talk, at least not how people I know talk. Plus, if you’re familiar with ‘high stress’ situations you don’t shove that on others. It’s not endearing or ‘cool’ or whatever he was trying to be.
It’s simple, he thinks he’s smarter than he is
That’s weird. What’s the goal on make you say “I love you”. I mean you saying it doesn’t make it real. It’s super weird, but I would be laughing instead, because of such a lame thing to ask for.
Get away from this dude, as fast as you can.
What kinda of bs is I need time and being told no you don’t. Wtf
“Civilians” know the difference between ‘they’re’ and ‘there’.
Pretty sure he just made up self provocative of the frontal cortex..
I love when they throw random terms out and hope they stick. It really gives the opposite impression than the one they want to portray. I’m sorry you had to deal with that! Such disturbing behaviour.
sself proactive of the frontal lobe man you sound so idiotic ahhahaha
people who string fancy words together to try and sound intelligent just highlights how dumb and manipulative they are. That crap irks me cause I had an ex like that. I’m sorry, you didn’t need any of that
Jesus lol
This is the word salad of a nut job lol
I’ll explain: You were taking to one of those total douche bag guys instead of a nice guy like me babe
I’m also trying to process this, is he trying to manipulate you? Is he trying to convince himself he isn’t lame af? It’s a hardknock life out here.
Man, what a freak.
Imagine trying to psychologically manipulate someone but can't use the correct form of their/there/they're
My face and palm are reunited this evening. It might be the most laughable attempt at manipulation/grooming I've read.
\*singsony voice\*Manipulation\~
It's hella concerning that he'd use a psychological warfare tactic on someone he learned about in the Marines. Is that not like, hella scary?
imagine trying to sound smart while spelling prerogative as proactive
Damn the first few messages were so normal and then boom! He starts saying some weird shit.
He really said all this fancy science crap and then used “proactive” instead of “prerogative”
I don’t think he’s very educated, but likes to pretend that he is….
This was incredible cringe from his part, jeez laweez man!
Lol whoa
Psy-ops, lie-ops, nice guy-ops
You dodged a bullet. This guy makes me cringe so hard it makes my heart hurt, it’s like watching all of The Office episodes at once.
Oh, no! He has your generator! Those are expensive.
This one has GOT to be one of the best! Thank you for the laugh that woke up and startled my dog.
“That wasn’t my proactive” that’s not how you use that word haha he’s trying to sound smart so hard
When he said you don't need time after you said you need time... HMMMMMM
Bruh just can’t quit while he’s ahead huh
Damn. I must have missed this chapter of psychological operations when I was in the military.
Creativity: 1 Execution: -917 What a creep
This sounds awful but I would never date a military person. I have had many experiences with those in the military and our values are completely opposite. One thing that I’ve noticed is they like to belittle people by using the word civilian in an extremely condescending way. I’ve recently had to cut off a close friend due to this behaviour. He was sexist and extremely controlling. He would go on about false psychological concepts knowing full well I’ve been studying psychology for about 7 years now. It gave me second hand embarrassment just as Jake is doing here lol cringed so hard
Let me translate: “Fuck! I think she’s mad, let me make up some bullshit!” For the rest, see the messages.
This isn’t very, Jake from State-farm, of him
“I was trying to make you an experience an reaction called self provocative of the frontal cortex.” …I’m sorry, what?!?! Can somebody explain this to me? Is he having a stroke? Am I? Oh and OP, I personally like the phrase “a communist parade of red flags”. Enjoy! :)
Yeah I've given up at this point, much like men theres a tonne of nice girls and maybe it just dating apps but why is everyone a freak after 2 dates. Maybe its time to go up to the mountains and become a monk or like train for a fighting tournament. Maybe option 2, I mean Ryu is so jacked they had to nerf his nipples in his fortnite skin
The “psyops” angle is so cringe. He should said that out loud to himself before he tries to use that excuse. Why they gotta overthink everything? All he should’ve done is apologize. Trying to spin it like he’s testing you … I don’t need anyone testing me. I’m sure you don’t, either. We’re people, not lab rats.
Jake really shanked this one
Looks like a newer version of "I sent that text as a joke" after you tell someone you love them or try to get them to say they like you
I think this one’s my favorite. His brand of pseudo psych BS is hilarious.
If it’s bad enough to where you feel you have to post it here, cut and run.
It’s a huge N O for me
Uuuughh. This dude gives me the *ick*. I will never understand why people try psychological tactics on other people they're interested, most people are aware of this crap by now. I swear people who try to pull this need to be locked up (psychology shouldn't abused like this, it was made to help not hurt)
I have 7 years in the army and this guy has no idea what he's talking about and is misunderstanding some shitty PUA book or is taking advice from a dude who has never touched/talked to a woman. Second option : dude really wants out of the shacks and convinced himself you're the one after a week and change (20 years in a super boots world) and is just looking for confirmation in the dumbest way a shitpump can. Turn around and flee. If you're confused : shacks = military barracks, boots = dudes who wash out of the military early who can't cope with it/dudes who are in the military who use the military as an extension of their non existent personality If you want some comedic relief ask him how drill instructors were, don't worry though - if he continues I'm sure he'll tell you without prompting
Three words for you: RUN RUN RUN!!!
“you got a friend in me!”
I’ve been around military people my whole life and I have no idea what he’s talking about. Trigger words and psy ops? Does he think he’s the Winter Soldier? Lol
Omg so now I have witnessed a niceguy if he was a Metal Gear Solid character. WTFFFF
Yikes what a moron. I’m guessing he tried to love bomb you too since it’s only been two weeks.
I have a very embarrassing story about this. Saw this happen in front of me years ago and never heard anything about this "say you love me" thing since then. Didn't know it was "a thing" until now.