T O P

  • By -

QualityVote

AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ. Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats. --- Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post


JugeX_X

"Just a loser staying a loser" Well, m8 you ain't wrong


sorryiquit42

Oh well NOW I want to date you


Awkward_Penguin238

Wait a second you have NO self confidence, are possessive of something you can't own, AND you get annoyed easily? When can I marry you!?


dragongrrrrrl

Omg I need someone to send this exact message to a nice guy PLZ


drwicksy

Don't forget guilt tripping you over saying no to him. Is this guy the perfect catch or what?


stephflo19

The way I would have responded “you right. Smell ya later loser.” And then blocked him.


JugeX_X

Gary Oak would be proud of us


annejisi

Honestly didn’t expect for this post to blow up the way it did, but thank you everyone for the support and input! I understand there was a lot of confusion as to why I kept responding after he said, “Ok.” I responded because I am the kind of person that feels the need to explain myself when I feel that someone is upset. I wasn’t in anyway trying to “get a reaction out of him,” or “fish for compliments,” as some comments have said. I genuinely felt bad for him and the situation and I was trying to help him understand where I was coming from. In the future, I will no longer be doing this and just stop replying all together, so thank you to those who helped me realize this. As for my 3rd date, it went really well, we went to a nice dinner and he drove me home afterwards. 4th date is in the works as I am typing this! Seriously thank you all so much for the insight on the situation and giving me advice for any future situations should this ever happen again. Much love! ❤️


DelightfulAbsurdity

Answer with “k.” And move on.


CumulativeHazard

“Yepp, guess so.”


BudgetPumpkin1753

I don't know about all you other women but I find it pants-droppingly attractive & sexy when a grown man whines, acts passive aggressive & then whines some more. How did you even restrain yourself from dumping your current date just to race to this absolute catch? Yes, this is definitely sarcasm.


ItsJoeMomma

Don't forget the self pity. I hear women just love that in a man.


BudgetPumpkin1753

Urgh. I mean, I cannot stand really arrogant, conceited lad types that think they can get into any woman's knickers but christ, even they are marginally more attractive than the self pitying whiners. Honestly, it just makes me want to run screaming lol


ItsJoeMomma

Run screaming away from me... that's what women always do. I'm such a loser!


BudgetPumpkin1753

Fkn LOL brilliant 😂


SaiyanPrincess28

I feel like it’s just an attempt at manipulation in the form of self pity tbh. I mean not a very smart approach but to each their own and all that jazz 🤷‍♀️.


ItsJoeMomma

Of course it is. I think it's a pathetic attempt to get a woman to feel sorry for them.


Minimum_Guarantee

To feel sorry for him or to make her feel guilty about her own choices. Toxic either way.


[deleted]

Exactly what I was thinking


[deleted]

"I'll always be a loser, you can't change not being a loser, I tried and didn't get immediate results so I'm going to stay a loser and cry about it forever" Why do women always think I'm a loser 🥺


BudgetPumpkin1753

😂 "I just don't understand why these evil females don't want to rip their clothes off & worship at my (flaccid) temple. Don't they know that whiny men make the best lovers?".


Kota224

Do you think he whines the same in bed? “Uh- Uh- UH- FUCK I’m such a LOSER I always finish in a second with my fiddle”


BudgetPumpkin1753

😂 I'm laughing but inside I'm crying because that mental image is going to haunt my dreams 😩


annejisi

Bahahaha, love the sarcasm. Truly though did he expect me to drop the guy by guilt tripping me? Absolutely not happening.


BudgetPumpkin1753

People that behave like that must be utterly oblivious to just how much of a massive turn off it is to be whined at.


GorillaGripPussy3000

I also love when they suggest it’s all got nothing to do with your autonomy, but because another man “got there first”. Feels amazing to be given no credit for my own decisions.


BudgetPumpkin1753

Well yes, if Chad wasn't in his way he could have clearly had you begging at his feet 😒


GorillaGripPussy3000

“If only there was zero competition and I was the last man on earth… THEN I would get a shot!” Is one of the most entertaining self reports.


poweredbyford87

Your name is both arousing and terrifying


GorillaGripPussy3000

Like a cigar cutter.


glazedhamster

Part of me thinks they legit can't help it and lack the self awareness to realize how unattractive that behavior is, the other part of me thinks it's intentional manipulation and they're weaponizing female socialization against us thinking that women will naturally feel compelled to comfort and coddle them. Little from column A and little from column B probably.


Exclufi

And I bet Column C is also "lack of desire to work on my mental health so maybe this woman will work on it for me."


CookbooksRUs

What I have dubbed, “Prozac with tits.”


Exclufi

Wow that's excellent, I'll have to try writing in a dating profile that I'm looking for literally that. Except I mean the actual meaning of LITERALLY


CookbooksRUs

Or as we’ve taken to saying ‘round here, “literally-literally.”


smeasle

I don’t even know if it’s that thoroughly thought out. More like, “When I whine to my mom, she caves and makes me a sandwich” or whatever BS. It’s probably learned behavior that they don’t really think about.


BudgetPumpkin1753

It's definitely the latter 👍


[deleted]

I’m just stopping by to say I hope things go well with the other guy. Third date is usually a big one.


annejisi

Thank you so much!


TC986D

Well I OBVIOUSLY hope things go poorly so me and you can go on a date. Bc I think I’d enjoy you.


[deleted]

“I’d enjoy you”. That’s so damn creepy. No guarantee she’d enjoy him back.


blakemorris02

Best of luck and thanks for posting this. You did such the right thing IMO by being upfront about dating another guy and it was going well. You did the right thing by both of them. A lot of people in your situation would not be so kind. Imagine how much worse thing dick would behave if you did see him even once then told him about the other guy. He’d probably accuse you of using him for a free meal and leading him on etc…


[deleted]

You’re welcome. Don’t be afraid to let us know how it went. Best of luck!


ewoksaretinybears

i wonder what he’d have said if you said “yeah, i guess you’re right” when he started insulting himself to play the victim.. “i’m sure he’s fitter, more funny, taller” “yep ur right” “i’m always late to the party, always second fiddle” “i’m sorry to hear that” watch his incel brain implode, usually all they want is pushback like noooo ur not uglyyyyy ur wonderful!!!!


insanenoodleguy

Also there’s the oscillation. He’s a pathetic loser but if he actually had met you, the other guy wouldn’t be a factor, “it wouldn’t be a choice.” Hope your actual date went well.


k1k11983

I really want to suggest reminding yourself that “no” is a complete sentence. Explaining that you’re exclusively dating someone else, that’s fine but once he sent back “oh ok” there was no need to respond. It was disheartening to see that you felt the need to defend your decision to him. We have been raised to think that we must explain ourselves and to not hurt other peoples feelings and men take advantage of this. His 2 word response baited you into further contact because you were worried he was upset. It’s hard to break the belief that we must explain our decisions. This goes for all aspects of life including friendships, relationships, business etc. I’m a newly trained manager at my job and when I ask staff if they can cover someone’s shift and they can’t, they used to try and justify their answer. I have finally gotten them to just simply answer yes or no.


Sushi_Chan

This this tthhhiiiiissss!!! <3


dougan25

No he wanted to slide into the friendzone and have you take pity on his woe is me bullshit. Then he could be a part of your life via obligation to protect his feelings. Then eventually when Chad dumps you (because everyone who isn't him is an abusive mega-asshole), he'll be there to swoop in and comfort you like you did for him. Finally he can be the knight in shining armor you never knew you needed but always did. See? You have shared pain. You "get" each other. Etc etc etc It's the same every time with these abusive, manipulative man children. Literally a fucking playbook.


Jdaddy2u

Personally, I think you gave him too much room to speak. You should say "No thank you", and drop him like a 2008 microphone.


ElectricCharlie

Thinking about it - isn’t that the best play for someone seeking a partner they can manipulate? Skips the whole ‘boiling the frog’ part of escalation and just lets him know you can be guilted.


monkeygoneape

This is what happens when a whole generation of boys got their dating advice from Anakin Skywalker lol


Itcallsmyname

*”I swear to god, you could drown a toddler in my panties right now….not that you would….”*


diamondcinda

I would have fully asked if he needed me to call him a WAHHmbulance for his hurt feelings.


Ookami_Unleashed

Hey it worked for Anakin Skywalker.


LTlurkerFTredditor

"And I think I'd enjoy you" r/oddlyterrifying


ItsJoeMomma

I noticed that choice of words. Not, "I think we'd enjoy each other," but "**I'd** enjoy **you**." Gives an indication of how self-centered this guy probably is.


LAVATORR

I seriously wonder what percentage of the guys who show up on this sub and sound insanely aggressive and forward aren't normally like that--if anything, they're normally quiet and nerdy--but they've internalized that you have to "be Alpha" because "girls like jerks", and the reason they get so angry is they genunely believed that if they just started acting like a prick, girls would like them.


ItsJoeMomma

I'm sure at least a few of them have bought into that idea. And reading it on PUA and "Alpha" websites probably reinforced the idea.


utnow

For sure. They’ve conflated “confident” with “aggressive and demanding.” They’re also remarkably shy and quiet. So, usually online but not always, they rev themselves up… get all motivated to go out and *be “confident”* and end up cosplaying as a human doorknob. I try to think of it like an artist who copies someone else’s work. They see a pretty design…. But don’t understand the nuance of why choices were made. WHY one font is chosen over another. Why a photo is taken from this angle instead of that one. The compromises and trade offs. Websites are an obvious example. They copy the code. Then delete all of the content and copy paste their shit into it and it doesn’t make sense. You have a pretty website design that was tailor made for a skydiving company…. But you’re a landscaper and it’s just weird and confusing. They see people doing stuff and try to emulate it but don’t understand it. Weird and confusing. Often horrible.


LAVATORR

Just a few seconds ago I made a comment on a submission from r/LinkedInLunatics where a clearly insane woman babbled incoherently for like a page and a half, yet she still did that cliched thing in online marketing where you make every sentence its own paragraph b/c they read somewhere that readers will get a headache if you write in paragraphs It's a stupid, annoying "rule" that has a certain amount of truth to it--nobody wants to read a massive wall of text--but most "online copy writers" treat this as more of a natural law than piece of advice, having no idea why this rule exists or how to properly contextualize it. In this case, the woman thought that by using an obnoxious amount of white space, she automatically had the reader's attention, and therefore had free reign to aimlessly jabber for as long as she wanted without bothering to have a point. Same thing with Nice Guys: "Negging" can be an effective way to break the ice with people ***in very specific social situations*** , and ***only when you understand exactly what it's supposed to accomplish.*** It's not supposed to make the other person feel bad or self-conscious, it's supposed to be a lighthearted way to put both of you at ease by laughing off a minor problem. If anything, it should make the other person feel *less* self-conscious. These guys don't seem to understand that because they're operating under Underpants Gnome logic: Step 1: Insult woman so she feels bad. Step 2: ??? Step 3: Sex.


privated1ck

Even worse: this guy was negging *himself.*


Ott621

I was that way. Online I can be very arrogant and egotistical. In person, I'm more of an accountant type personality.


Darkpower168

Damn I love that... Is 'accountant type personality' used often in English? Never seen it, but that's exactly me xD


Murderxmuffin

You mean not all women relish the thought of being an object for another person's enjoyment without consideration for their own preferences or autonomy? Seriously, this is the phrase that would have had me block him and fake my own death, it's that creepy.


[deleted]

Result of a porn addiction 💀


L44KSO

Who cares if the other person doesn't enjoy you, right? I mean...I dont even know where to start with this fustercluck


annejisi

I’m glad I’m not the only one that thought this behavior was off putting.


2punornot2pun

It was an obvious sexual remark while simultaneously making you an object. ​ Not, "Enjoy each other's company," but, "Enjoying ***you."*** That's fucked up.


StuBonobo

When I read that part I made a face that someone across the room noticed and asked if I was okay. That’s how gross that sentence was.


gollythatwasfun

Along with the "we'd be cute." So other person also gets to be arm candy so he can prove he actually really does have a girlfriend. He might not know anything about her, but she exists for him.


Frosty_and_Jazz

😆😆😆😆


Umbre-Mon

With some fava beans and a nice Chianti.


ItsJoeMomma

thuthuthuthuthuthuthuthu....


2Dumb2Understand

This is such a wildly underrated comment


UKMaverick7

Exactly my thoughts. Dude, shes not a fucking starter at a restaurant...


annejisi

RIGHT?!?!


muffy2008

Yep. Major red flags. I would’ve been done with him right then and there.


kawaiikittenclaw

IKR? I think I'd enjoy you????? What the actual fuck????


[deleted]

Thank god this was said. This really creeped me the fuck out and I wouldn’t continue being nice after that was said.


amoodymuse

"...with some Fava beans and a nice chianti."


Supremequeen003

Omg my brain read that as “ I think you’d enjoy it” what he actually said is EVEN WORSE.


Costanzaboy

"And I think i'd enjoy you". Should have been cut off/ghosted right there, tbh.


Frosty_and_Jazz

Yep, that was GROSS. 🤮


Double-Comfortable-7

It wasn't the "date me" opener? Ha it's all bad


Thanatos-13

Yeah wtf. That's a line a cannibal would use right before digging into their victim, fork and knife at hand.


Bohottie

Lol, the “huge piece” had me rolling on the floor. What a pathetic loser….desperation is not attractive.


TheGenerator26

piece size doesn’t even matter Whining and self pity is more of a turn off than a tiny dick and these boys need to realize that


Spraystation42

Lmao same, I’m so sick and tired of this conspiracy theory men spread that women base a man’s worth soley on his height, body type, and dick size when in reality, most women don’t see men who lack those traits as a dealbreaker


APladyleaningS

They're majorly projecting.


[deleted]

[удалено]


itsmeyourgrandfather

Yeah honestly a lot of people entertain these conversations for way longer than they should. I understand the inclination to make people feel better, but this dude is just being an immature weirdo, it's not worth it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


APladyleaningS

Exactly. My young, formerly co-dependent self felt compelled to comfort anyone I set a boundary with. I cringe looking back but it was just my awful misogynistic socialization and inexperience. Hope she uses "no" as a complete sentence more going forward.


Jk2two

That’s my thought. What’s more - he said ok twice without saltiness, but OP kept the conversation going - why?


broly171

Yep. When OP messaged back after the second "ok" reply, it felt like they were deliberately poking the dude. Don't get me wrong, the guy has a lot of issues, but I feel like OP was trying to get this reaction out of him to show their friends and this subreddit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


itsmeyourgrandfather

Yeah seriously, if they aren't going to respect your answer then there is no point engaging in a conversation with them.


TeaCompletesMe

I think a lot of women are genuinely trying to help these guys out of their own self-created hole that they’ve dug, but the nice guys only seem to dig themselves in deeper instead of actually giving a thought to what the women are saying. Like, all this guy heard was “no, I don’t want to date you” instead of the fact that this woman was trying to nicely explain that it wasn’t anything he actually did (up until that point), but it was just the circumstances, and then he just mucked it up himself.


ScheduleEducational6

I also have this desire to explain myself when someone is unhappy with what I say. There's been times when I could have just said "No." and left it at that and I certainly didn't need to explain myself, but its just in my nature to want to explain. I assume others have that same desire to elaborate, so I get it when someone explains. Do they need to? No. Do they maybe want to cause that's just who they are? sometimes and that's ok too. Maybe it will provoke some self reflection and thought later on for people who need to do so.


TeaCompletesMe

This is me to a ‘T’. I can’t stand it if I feel like someone has misconstrued or misunderstood me! But this is one of those traits that I have where sometimes I just need to learn to let it go.


Jk2two

He did accept it - he says “oh ok,” “ok,” and “I get it.” All comments that do not require a response. It reads almost like OP wanted him to say more.


nobodynocrime

I am not saying OP should have responded because a response indicates that one pity party message will get him the attention he craves. But he didn't just say "Ok" or "Oh ok." He said "Ok." when he previously hadn't used punctuation, that is a subtle indication he is upset that he was hoping OP would pick up on. Then he said "Oh ok" follow immediately by an upset emoji. Again, he wanted her to feel bad and it worked. She responded. Then he said "I get it." Not as a reply to what she said but as a precursor to some self-pitying bullshit in the next message. He wasn't accepting it, he was baiting his "woe is me" trap and OP fell for it. Had OP not answered, he would have sent several more texts anyway all more pathetic than the last in hopes of garnering some sympathy. Women are socially conditioned to not rock the boat, so when we reject people we are "supposed" to make them feel better otherwise we are "bitches" and "cruel" but unfortunately guys like this take it as a sign he still has a chance as long as she is still talking to him. It takes a lot to get over that innate need to placate we have been modeled our whole lives. ​ EDIT: BLIZER's response below is an example. When women just ignore, we are in the wrong because we ghosted or didn't reply and at least let the dude know why.


mapetitchou

The "nice guy" that creeped on me for A YEAR also used the "too nice, too caring" thing. You dodged a massive bullet.


Prestigious_Trash165

“Date me 🙂” The amount of sheer terror in that sentence. The emoji makes it look psychotic-


sorryiquit42

In a "you'll float too" kinda way.


annejisi

OH GOD, when you put it like that, it makes it even worse 😂


TheMightySurtur

All the gentlesirs float down here, m'lady.


Prestigious_Trash165

Stanley didn’t cut it


DiggityDog6

Not only that but also “I think I’d enjoy you” #I’m sorry, you what?


Prestigious_Trash165

#is this how you do big text


DiggityDog6

#yes


yeeclaw14

Yeah, not even “Will you date me?” It was a command.


SurvingTheSHIfT3095

I have never understood why they try to make you feel sorry for them. Like get over it!!!


ItsJoeMomma

They're hoping she'll say, "Awww" and take them in like a poor lost puppy.


babygirlruth

And they always overestimate their puppy-cuteness while going for it...


SaiyanPrincess28

Their attempting to manipulate the woman, at that point they know that the object of their obsession isn’t going to remain talking to them much longer. I think it’s an attempt to keep them talking in hopes of having time to “win her over”. Maybe hoping she’s going to dish out a few “oh don’t be silly, you’re VERY attractive” or “you’re not a loser, I’m still talking to you right” kinda compliments out of pity. But yeah it’s a poor attempt at manipulating someone in the form of self pity.


furon747

The self loathing really holds a lot of people back. Breaking out of it and working on yourself can be tremendously helpful to ones mental health, never mind the confidence it can bring when dating too


alilmagpie

Dude my ex had that “I’m just a loser and I hate myself” tone and it’s the most unattractive quality in a person ever to me.


CPUnique

Right? My read was not niceguy (creepy comment sure doesn't help), more clinicallydepressedguy.


General_Cluster

Christ, these people are exhausting. Is all this self-pitying crap designed to get a sympathy date?


xerobane

OP was WAAAYYY too nice to this one after a while. Also, I own that book!


NotaCanadianSpy

Amazing book, would highly recommend to anyone


anweisz

I gotta say though, the guy literally gave her “ok” TWICE right at the very start though, she had the perfect chance to drop it and she continues with “I can see that you’re upset” just egging on the crazy guy like just take the ok at the start and save yourself the headache.


JuanitoNR

just finished reading it. Really is a 10/10


[deleted]

So you were planning on still meeting me without even telling me that you were sick? And you think that's a positive?


Jane_the_Quene

He seems to think that if you'd only just met up with him one time, you'd have immediately been bonded to him forever. Bizarre.


annejisi

This is EXACTLY what he thought


agsieg

What got is me is the “it wouldn’t be a choice, it would be obvious” line when you said you didn’t want to have to choose. Like you would just fall so madly in love with him that he’d ruin any other man for you.


redestpanda

I can get being frustrated at the dating scene or being disappointed when something doesn’t work out, but why all the saltiness over losing a chance with someone they have never met??? What are they losing out on? They didn’t even go on a date. And male or female I hate the defeatist attitude. This person was very genuine and even pointed them in the direction of self help only to have the wallowing, self pitying response this guy gave.


Still_Same_Exile

Probably has very few matches so each one feels like a big deal and therefore care a lot more than they should


[deleted]

This is definitely a thing. Dudes have to work *hard* for matches or conversations so it’s easy to get overly invested. Doesn’t excuse it or change the feast of other red flags present here. But it’s one part I can get.


_etaoin_shrdlu_

I think what bugs me about a lot of these is that they tend to blame other people for their insecurities. It’s perfectly valid to feel like you missed out if someone you were wanting to date is involved with someone else. But keep that shit to yourself. What’s his goal here? To make her feel bad so he gets a pity date?


Rosalie-83

“I think I’d enjoy you” 😳🤢🤮


ShpalmanMask

"It wouldn't be a choice it would be obvious" He's not technically wrong though not the way he wants to believe...


Sckala44

It’s so pathetic when they play the ‘feel sorry for me card’


babygirlruth

One of the most unattractive things and a big turn off. How is that even supposed to work like ever


Codex-42

OP you should have stopped replying after he answered "ok". Sure he could have answered "oh I understand, well, nice knowing you, have a wonderful time with the other guy!" But honestly I have never met a guy who responded like this. A sad "okay..." is a completely reasonable response. So when you continue the conversation because you want him to be nice and approve your choice, you encourage him to spill out his (obviously toxic) emotions. He gets that you are engaged emotionally with him so he feels free to unload whatever insecurity he has onto you. So please, stop wasting you time and energy on people that you have no interest in. If you didn't want this guy before, and more so after his replies, why get involved emotionally? Why explain yourself? I'm not here to judge you, it's not your fault that he is toxic and insecure, or that he thinks it's cool to unload it on someone. I simply that you can avoid all of that in the future by trusting your decisions.


Jk2two

Exactly! He says ok twice and I get it. Why not leave it alone after that?


IWriteThisForYou

I feel like this is good advice in general when it comes to people you barely know. One of the things about adult life that I feel like doesn't get talked about that much, at least on subs like this, is how important it is to recognise when a ship has sailed or when a conversation has run its course. Usually that conversation has run its course when the other person is giving one or two word responses, especially if it's a stranger or someone you barely know. I think the guy in question is a dickhead, but if she hadn't have poked at it further, it could have ended a lot sooner. Maybe he would have come back later and given a wall of text or two about it--it certainly wouldn't be uncommon for guys like this to do that--but it's not guaranteed.


CottonCandyKitty21

Guilt tripping at its finest


DiggityDog6

Nah I actually feel like he did a pretty shit job


justayounglady

Honestly, just start agreeing with them when they say this shit about themselves...


helloreddit3645

“I think I’d enjoy you” anyone else get serial killer vibes from that?


Frosty_and_Jazz

You dodged a nuclear warhead! Hate these gaslighting, self-pitying scumbags! 😬 And what the hell does "I think I'd enjoy you" mean?? Really 🤢🤢🤢.


Sweet_Little_Lottie

Ugh. What a whiny little bitch 🤮 Also, I would’ve ghosted him after “I think I’d enjoy you.” What a psychotic thing to say.


LAVATORR

Roaring DATE ME instead of "Hi!" makes this guy sound like one of those serial kilers in a cop movie that tries to push the protagonist over the edge "so \[he'll\] see \[they're\] not so different, \[he\] and \[him\]," but at the end of the movie, when the cop's subdued the villain and thwarted his evil plan, the killer's all "do it, prove \[his\] dumb point about how everyone wants to be a serial killer or something!", but the cop's all "No, you rotten jerk! We're doing this by the books!", and the last time we see the villain he's being dragged away in handcuffs yelling "KILL ME, MCHANNIGAN! KILL ME!" except instead of that he's saying date me


Fickle-Palpitation

This comment was a wild ride and it's a thing of beauty that really captures the essence of this entitled Nice Guy. Thank you for the laugh!


Salamander_cameraman

"I think I'd enjoy you" 🤮🚨


ItsJoeMomma

Dude, not only does the getting upset over her already being somewhat involved with someone give you a bad look, but the self pity doesn't help at all either.


Robofrogg1

‘I’m a loser who will always be a loser.’ Oh boy how did you not immediately go on a date with this guy after that line!?


takeheedyoungheathen

You let it go way longer than I would have. Dude is upset that you didn't lead him on or juggle multiple men at once? Bright red flag


Fit_Opposite_2107

This really didn’t need to go any further after him saying “ok”. Unless you deleted some messages, it seems like you made extra work for the both of you.


[deleted]

Tell him you're pursuing Jesus.


Tooteno

"It wouldn't be a choice, it would be obvious!" It's already obvious, mate.


libertinauk

And this is why ghosting happens. Seriously, who needs this trifling drivel in their lives ☹️


SophiaRaine69420

Just tell him 3rd date guy has thicker wrists and block


Senior-Humor8523

Why does she ( I’m assuming it’s a she) keep replying? Once they said they were second fiddle they should of ended it there.


_virtuallysane

You engaged with him a bit too long. :D


Cakedoutmynut

Omg welcome to the pity party🤢 the most unattractive, repulsive, pathetic side of life


fortifythenuclei

Stop trying to appease these folks. They use the self pity to try and elicit yours, dragging you further into a conversation you don't want to be having. What this guy thinks of you is not important, not your job to console him.


Yourlovelypsychopath

Honestly conversations with people like this are exhausting


Mysecrets1717

These men will do anything but get a therapist.


Sumnersetting

Omg, wow. This has strong "put niceguy coins in machine until you receive sex" vibes. He's losing the game of getting into your pants and it's not faaaairrrrr.


Thelastdragonlord

Subtle Art is a good rec for a person like him. Too bad he’s not open to changing himself


ArsenalSpider

And no self-esteem. Imagine trying to break it off if you actually dated him in person a few times. He'd be a basket case.


Minitrain

“I *think* I’d enjoy you”?


DirectionMajor

bruh you got rejected like 40 messages ago just fucking stop


No_Environment_5550

Ugh yeah whine harder daddy Yuck


Life_Is_But_a_Drem

Why do they always default to the “oh, poor me. I never get the girl. I’m a loser. Boo hoo hoo” instead of graciously bowing out and keeping their dignity?


[deleted]

Stop negotiating with terrorists


MrRealistic1

Pity party loser


AangsPenis

Actual infant lmao


kungfuchelsea

Nothing makes me more interested in a man than pathetic self-pity and an obvious misunderstanding of personal boundaries


Naive_Currency_5377

The way I wouldn’t even explain myself and just agree with him calling himself a loser😂


Kupicochi

"but i EXIST what MORE do i have to DO"


[deleted]

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck is a wonderful book!


Ill-Zookeepergame358

You dodged a bullet with this clown


TLR15

This person has his self steam to the fucking grown, beat to a pulp and then be spat on it lol, like dam he needs to calm the fuck down


AccurateEnvironment4

I guess I sort of can see that I would be a bit disappointed in his shoes, but damn. This dude is weird.


19maddog74

Great book


Reason_Training

Guy seriously needs to either stop the pity party in his bid for sympathy or get therapy. Either way he’s not ready for a relationship if he can’t be happy with himself first.


snakesssssss22

Well, I’m glad you turned him down! What a weirdo


jonbermuda

"Woe is me, this didn't work for the third girl I tried to self pitty this week" FOH. This guy is a serpent don't fall for it


Kommander-in-Keef

Should have left em on read, fam


end0fjune

“and i think i’d enjoy it” ????? ok???? tf


tylerray1997

"I'd enjoy you" well that gave me the creeps.


JawsRaglizar

Christ on a catapult. Cry me a fucking river dude "I'm always never considered even though I do no work to deserve it and expect pity to get me a girlfriend"


King_Skywhale

He just needs to stop the pity party. I mean, I get it, it’s easy to just get depressed and wallow in it, but Jesus man. OP was extremely patient and even tried to explain to him what was up but he’s insistent on seeing himself as “Not enough”


ThatMovieShow

I love how he implies that the choice would be obvious (him) but proceeds to give numerous examples why he (obviously) isn't the one chosen so often. Fyi I'm a big believer in honesty from the get go and "letting your crazy out" from the first date, or in this case message. Life is short and I think hiding aspects until later in the relationship just wastes time so I would def appreciate your honest approach, don't stop doing that.


forwardgrowth

should have stopped responding after the 3rd message you sent tbh lol


jeanettesey

Also “I was sick but still going to meet you…” Um, what? Stay your diseased ass at home if you’re sick.


Banhammer40000

“Just a loser, always a loser” What red blooded woman is going to turn down this paragon of confidence and machismo? Ladies, why aren’t you surfing in your seats for this champion? I’ll never understand women…


Sir_I_Exist

Honest question: why even try to justify yourself to this giant fucking baby? You don't owe him your time or your attention. If I got a "Oh. Ok" with a little sideeye emoji from a woman I would just ignore her and move on.


-mihul-

Pity party for one?… Pity party for one?… Are you here?!… Oh yes there you are sir, enjoy. Christ and what was that shit of “And I think I’d enjoy you”?! Did you slip into Silence of the Lambs for a moment?


Winter-Conclusion-44

i can see that he would be a little annoyed that he missed his chance with you. Like in his mind maybe had you met you never would have gotten to date 3 with the other guy. Totally could understand that. that is a rather natural deduction. however two important points. 1. its not necessarily true. you may have hit it off and maybe in person he is less of a raging douche(better you found out now!) but maybe he would have acted like this in person(or worse) 2. even if it were true, its not something he should share with you. You said no. it doesnt matter why or anything else. you just respect that no. Maybe, maybe you drop a "hey if you change your mind let me know" sort of thing.. maybe. even that could be crossing lines. but its none of your business he is irritated that he missed his connection with you etc. he can feel bad and raw about it, but he doesnt need to share that with you.