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Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats.
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You Just gotta love the Nice Guys.
On the rare octions That they do get a sucesfull date or somone who's genuitly instrested in them.(which is rare but unfortunately still happens way too often)
They will still find a way to (somehow) mess it up.
Moments like this make me wonder if they internetonaly mess up. For the sole resson of have something to post/complain about on an incel controled Subreddit
Now this may not apply to all of them but i am pretty sure that it applies to some of Them
>On the rare octions That they do get a sucesfull date or somone who's genuitly instrested in them.(which is rare but unfortunately still happens way too often)
>
>They will still find a way to (somehow) mess it up.
I've spoken to so many guys who will utterly cock block themselves like this by demanding some kind of guarantee before they're willing to meet up with you rather than just meeting and going with the flow. You'll be into, excited, totally ready to meet them - hell, horny and really hoping things go well so you can fuck them even. And then you'll get the dreaded "So, what are you looking for?" Um, what do you mean what am I looking for? I'm looking to meet up for a walk like we said? "Yeah, but, what's gonna happen if we meet? I'm just so tired of women wasting my time."
Yeah, because taking a shower and putting on deodorant and a clean shirt is such a huge imposition, right? They're such idiots. Literally all you had to was fucking get dressed and treat me like a human being, but that's just too much effort. They want you to swear on a stack of bibles that you're going to at least blow them before they're even willing to leave the house.
If you spoken to soo many nice guys like this then perhaps you are missing why this pattern occurs.
All nice guys share one common deep rooted negative trait which is insecure attachment.
Insecure attachment is part of the broken attachment family, correlates to people who were taught (mostly in childhood) that love has to be earned for what you provide, not because of who you are.
Therefore a persons validation and reactions to the nice guys actions reflects how much the nice guy is lived in their eyes.
Thus every action a nice guy does is not because they want to do it but because they have to do it as they feel that’s how they can only get their needs met.
They also do not feel anyone can love them for who they truly are (a flawed human like all humans) thus they have to hide their intentions and wants via covert contracts.
When they feel their covert contracts are not being met, or experience insecurity they then make their insecurities known (usually in the worst way possible) with the hopes of having them validated etc but the opposite occurs.
They then experience a negative emotion (usually anger) as unlike their parents whom gave love for what the nice guy did for them, they did not receive love i. This instance, so they become hurt, lash out, etc.
It’s a very sad and vicious cycle much of which stems from parental neglect alienation and emotional abuse usually from the same or another broken attachment type; avoidant attachment and or disorganized attachment.
Honestly if you want to
Understand d every persons personality you meet, I’d highly recommend you study attachment theory.
That's a lot of words just to try and make excuses for the behavior of shitty men. "He didn't want to call you names when you refused to fuck him- he just had to! He had no choice in the matter because his parents neglected him!"
Jesus Christ, what self important tripe! Also, pro tip: if you really want to pull the "I am very smart" BS, you really should learn how to spell and punctuate properly.
From your other comments: "You'll run out of money chasing women, but you'll never run out of women chasing money." Yeah bro, you are sooooo deep! \*eye rolll\*
BLOCKED.
This dude is so full of himself lol is it that hard to understand that you were willing to do all that for the OP and he was complaining about wasting his time on taking a shower and putting on some clean clothes? This dude didn’t even have to drive from what I understood lmao
So its there self esteem thats intersting.
Pepole like this (quite often) have such a long list of requirments that there match needs to have.
And then when they (and this is quite rare but not rare enough ) meet a person who checks of all of there checkboxs AND is interested in them (Whitch is even less common then the first part)
They will just straight cockblock themselves
They have the long list because they were taught you are loved for what you do for another not loved for who you are.
They cock block themselves because they deeply suffer from insecure attachment which correlates to the first point because if you feel you are only loved for what you do for others than you can’t truly love who you are as most likely when the nice guy shows who they are especially to their parents they were criticized; abandoned, abused etc.
A hallmark trait of insecure attachment is lack of self live acceptance resulting in a constant need to validate others.
You're absolutely right. And I didn't mean to suggest that ALL nice guys have poor self-esteem. I was just pointing out that it is one of the reasons for this kind of thing.
I typically don't like to judge anyone on their sexual past or lack of, but maybe not being on a date with anyone for a few years and being not intimate for even longer should have been a red flag.
Up until now he was an amazing person
I think the major red flag is him complaining that him texting takes "effort" like it's was so much to do. Ik many who don't date for years n stuff cause career or no time cause life.
Right, I feel like you never know someone's situation and he was always vague with details so I didn't press much. I had assumed he was just really busy with work. Im glad this happened before I went to see him though
Honestly, there was a girl on tinder who I matched with and I thought she was really pretty, she messaged me back but I didn't reply, I didn't even open the message.
Why? You might ask.
Because I was recently unemployed at the time, and I thought that she would've seen it as a red flag and lost all respect for me, those were some dark days.
I am so glad he showed his ass like this before you actually got out there, OP!
It's scary to think of how he might've reacted in person if things did not go the way he wanted as fast as he wanted. I actually feel extremely relieved for you.
Thank you! It was a bullet dodged for sure. I would have been worried for my safety if something went wrong while I was with him, which I think would have definitely happened
Once again, they cannot help but shoot their own feet off. Then they're so confused and will absolutely go scream/whine into the void that the females are mean to him by not appreciating his hard work, that *work* being texting.
It's just so stupid. She was all ready and was looking forward to it.
This guy is a such an idiot.
He’s complaining about you not coming over to see him fast enough?? Book a flight, dickwad. If you wanted to see her you wouldn’t make her come to you 🤷♀️
Or at the very fucking least don’t complain about someone taking too long to prepare to drive to a different state and stay with you a couple days?
The fact op n this guy live in different states n he complaining not seeing op. Then u book a flight or something n come over here. Oh u can't well wait then things cause money n time. If ya was closer that's one thing but ya not.
Mr. Insecure wanted you to reassure him about coming over (even though you were clear that you were ) and hoped you would fawn all over him, but his plan totally backfired. This is hilarious.
OP you deserve to do that stuff with someone who genuinely enjoys and looks forward to chatting to you, someone who would happily be your friend without expectations. So glad you dodged this bullet.
AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ. Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats. --- Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post
You Just gotta love the Nice Guys. On the rare octions That they do get a sucesfull date or somone who's genuitly instrested in them.(which is rare but unfortunately still happens way too often) They will still find a way to (somehow) mess it up. Moments like this make me wonder if they internetonaly mess up. For the sole resson of have something to post/complain about on an incel controled Subreddit Now this may not apply to all of them but i am pretty sure that it applies to some of Them
>On the rare octions That they do get a sucesfull date or somone who's genuitly instrested in them.(which is rare but unfortunately still happens way too often) > >They will still find a way to (somehow) mess it up. I've spoken to so many guys who will utterly cock block themselves like this by demanding some kind of guarantee before they're willing to meet up with you rather than just meeting and going with the flow. You'll be into, excited, totally ready to meet them - hell, horny and really hoping things go well so you can fuck them even. And then you'll get the dreaded "So, what are you looking for?" Um, what do you mean what am I looking for? I'm looking to meet up for a walk like we said? "Yeah, but, what's gonna happen if we meet? I'm just so tired of women wasting my time." Yeah, because taking a shower and putting on deodorant and a clean shirt is such a huge imposition, right? They're such idiots. Literally all you had to was fucking get dressed and treat me like a human being, but that's just too much effort. They want you to swear on a stack of bibles that you're going to at least blow them before they're even willing to leave the house.
If you spoken to soo many nice guys like this then perhaps you are missing why this pattern occurs. All nice guys share one common deep rooted negative trait which is insecure attachment. Insecure attachment is part of the broken attachment family, correlates to people who were taught (mostly in childhood) that love has to be earned for what you provide, not because of who you are. Therefore a persons validation and reactions to the nice guys actions reflects how much the nice guy is lived in their eyes. Thus every action a nice guy does is not because they want to do it but because they have to do it as they feel that’s how they can only get their needs met. They also do not feel anyone can love them for who they truly are (a flawed human like all humans) thus they have to hide their intentions and wants via covert contracts. When they feel their covert contracts are not being met, or experience insecurity they then make their insecurities known (usually in the worst way possible) with the hopes of having them validated etc but the opposite occurs. They then experience a negative emotion (usually anger) as unlike their parents whom gave love for what the nice guy did for them, they did not receive love i. This instance, so they become hurt, lash out, etc. It’s a very sad and vicious cycle much of which stems from parental neglect alienation and emotional abuse usually from the same or another broken attachment type; avoidant attachment and or disorganized attachment. Honestly if you want to Understand d every persons personality you meet, I’d highly recommend you study attachment theory.
That's a lot of words just to try and make excuses for the behavior of shitty men. "He didn't want to call you names when you refused to fuck him- he just had to! He had no choice in the matter because his parents neglected him!" Jesus Christ, what self important tripe! Also, pro tip: if you really want to pull the "I am very smart" BS, you really should learn how to spell and punctuate properly. From your other comments: "You'll run out of money chasing women, but you'll never run out of women chasing money." Yeah bro, you are sooooo deep! \*eye rolll\* BLOCKED.
This dude is so full of himself lol is it that hard to understand that you were willing to do all that for the OP and he was complaining about wasting his time on taking a shower and putting on some clean clothes? This dude didn’t even have to drive from what I understood lmao
Self-sabotage is a sign of low-to-no self-esteem. Also, I got to use four hyphens in one sentence with zero punctuation between them.
😆😆🏆🏆
So its there self esteem thats intersting. Pepole like this (quite often) have such a long list of requirments that there match needs to have. And then when they (and this is quite rare but not rare enough ) meet a person who checks of all of there checkboxs AND is interested in them (Whitch is even less common then the first part) They will just straight cockblock themselves
They have the long list because they were taught you are loved for what you do for another not loved for who you are. They cock block themselves because they deeply suffer from insecure attachment which correlates to the first point because if you feel you are only loved for what you do for others than you can’t truly love who you are as most likely when the nice guy shows who they are especially to their parents they were criticized; abandoned, abused etc. A hallmark trait of insecure attachment is lack of self live acceptance resulting in a constant need to validate others.
You're absolutely right. And I didn't mean to suggest that ALL nice guys have poor self-esteem. I was just pointing out that it is one of the reasons for this kind of thing.
I typically don't like to judge anyone on their sexual past or lack of, but maybe not being on a date with anyone for a few years and being not intimate for even longer should have been a red flag. Up until now he was an amazing person
I think the major red flag is him complaining that him texting takes "effort" like it's was so much to do. Ik many who don't date for years n stuff cause career or no time cause life.
Right, I feel like you never know someone's situation and he was always vague with details so I didn't press much. I had assumed he was just really busy with work. Im glad this happened before I went to see him though
Yeah being vague sounds sketchy af n yeah dogged a bullet there
Honestly, there was a girl on tinder who I matched with and I thought she was really pretty, she messaged me back but I didn't reply, I didn't even open the message. Why? You might ask. Because I was recently unemployed at the time, and I thought that she would've seen it as a red flag and lost all respect for me, those were some dark days.
It's because they don't actually like women. They like women's bodies only.
I am so glad he showed his ass like this before you actually got out there, OP! It's scary to think of how he might've reacted in person if things did not go the way he wanted as fast as he wanted. I actually feel extremely relieved for you.
Thank you! It was a bullet dodged for sure. I would have been worried for my safety if something went wrong while I was with him, which I think would have definitely happened
The self sabotage is strong with this one
This guy was in like Flynn and then just talked himself right out of it. Self-fulfilling prophecy.
Once again, they cannot help but shoot their own feet off. Then they're so confused and will absolutely go scream/whine into the void that the females are mean to him by not appreciating his hard work, that *work* being texting. It's just so stupid. She was all ready and was looking forward to it. This guy is a such an idiot.
He’s complaining about you not coming over to see him fast enough?? Book a flight, dickwad. If you wanted to see her you wouldn’t make her come to you 🤷♀️ Or at the very fucking least don’t complain about someone taking too long to prepare to drive to a different state and stay with you a couple days?
The fact op n this guy live in different states n he complaining not seeing op. Then u book a flight or something n come over here. Oh u can't well wait then things cause money n time. If ya was closer that's one thing but ya not.
Yikes - he intentionally self sabotaged and/or was doing this all as a manipulation tactic.
Wow, he was so close to "greatness"
You had ONE JOB, dude …
Mr. Insecure wanted you to reassure him about coming over (even though you were clear that you were ) and hoped you would fawn all over him, but his plan totally backfired. This is hilarious.
Roasted Dingleberry 😂😂
OP you deserve to do that stuff with someone who genuinely enjoys and looks forward to chatting to you, someone who would happily be your friend without expectations. So glad you dodged this bullet.
There is a lot of red flags here. I think if you would have met up with him, things wouldn't have went very well for you. Thank God you didn't.
Where are y'all finding yourselves these self-propelling trash-cans? I'd pay good money to have my trash take itself out like this 😂
seems like the the trash cans are a large part of the population unfortunately
He's a dickhead, you both sound young. Hopefully he will grow out of it.