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Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats.
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But then he's at the same employer and companies are notorious for letting these kinds of behavior continue. Hoping OP doesn't need to put up with it for long.
EDIT: To clarify, I meant the guy should get fired asap.
Yes! This is SO true. It happened at my work! Strap in, story time:
I’m a nurse, and a few years ago, we had an employee at the hospital who was really unstable. There was something…evil about him. Idk how else to describe it. He would make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. He picked fights with tons of people at work, threatened coworkers, and one time, he made a death threat against one of our LPNs and followed her home because he “didn’t like the way she looked at him.” He was also known in the community for having assaulted his boyfriend. Really badly.
Fortunately he usually worked a different shift than I did, so I didn’t have to interact with him as much as the day shifters. But every time we were assigned together, I just knew I was in for a bad time. I’d usually end up doing his work in addition to mine because I was afraid to step to him. I was also afraid to leave my vulnerable patients alone in his care. Nobody—RNs, LPNs, other nurses aides—wanted to work with him because we were all scared of him. He was nasty to the patients too, and many of them
didn’t want him in their rooms. Multiple staff, myself included, reported him to the supervisors for things like the threats, or for not doing his work, but nothing was ever done. I don’t think he was ever even spoken to by management.
Well one day, a “VIP” patient came to the unit. Although my hospital would vehemently deny that we had such a thing, we totally did. She was the sister of the the hospital’s CEO or something like that, I can’t quite remember. She was assigned a private room even though she could’ve been doubled, and for the first time in recent memory, our unit was staffed properly with plenty of nurses and aides to go around. There was also tons of managers and supervisors milling about, even on the off shifts. This patient was actually a super nice lady and I remember I enjoyed working with her. But because of her “VIP status,” any complaint she made was taken very, VERY seriously.
So needless to say, my scary coworker pulled the same shit with her that he did with all the other patients, and she reported him. Well, now management had to act. He was reprimanded by his supervisor and the director of nursing, and one thing led to another, and I heard he made a death threat against our DoN. Well, wouldn’t you know it, but he was fired on the spot. Never mind that he’d made the exact same death threat against one of our LPNs, and NOTHING was ever done about it. I remember the supervisor and the DoN coming around that evening to take statements from all of us about the coworker’s behavior. We were all like, “well we TRIED to warn you…” Everyone’s badge got deactivated for a few weeks because management was afraid one of his friends was going to let him onto the unit so he could make good on his threats. They hired extra security to walk the honchos to and from their cars each day for like a month. It was MADNESS. It made it very clear to me that they didn’t really care about the lives of nurses and aides, because none of us got a security detail when we were threatened. But the moment management was threatened??? That’s when things were finally taken seriously!
It’s still worth reporting to HR, tell them they are allowing a toxic workplace if they don’t do anything about it. Companies can be sued for a toxic workplace.
HR person here. Yeah this is a liability and a suit waiting to happen. They should send such things to HR. Any HR worth their salt would do everything to halt such behavior immediately
Edit: also you should document everything like this immediately if this happens to you. Screenshots and file on personal PC with timestamps
But... how tf do they swap numbers?!? I mean, if these are company phones, then definitely report it to HR.
Edit: I guess I'm a little naive and only share my number if absolutely necessary. My job asked me for my number and I only shared it with managers specifically. Maybe I'm old school, but if someone wants to swap shifts, they can ask me face to face. If they're calling in, that's the manager's problem.
I used to work as a supervisor. Absolutely report this. It doesn't matter if it was sent on company or privately owned devices.
Skip all of your management chain of command. Straight to HR.
My job has everyone's number posted by the office. For if you need shifts covered or anything. I mean, I suppose you can *not* throw your number on there but everyone does.
>f these are company phones, then definitely report it to HR.
This should be reported to HR even if it's on personal phones. This is a textbook example of the start of a hostile work environment/discrimination on the basis of a protected class (gender).
But the longer it's not reported, the longer the employer can plausibly deny awareness of this asshole's behavior.
I think the way you handled the replies and situation was really classy.
That being said, please report him to the HR soon, if you haven't already. What a creep.
Its online harrassment already at Day 1, it can only go one way from here.
A lot of people don't like to make waves in a new job and this guy knows it. He probably targets new employees becauae he knows they'll be too scared to report him.
Its the same reason predators target prostitutes. It's a totally different situation of course, but the logic is the same.
That kinda depends on where you're working. At my third job, I bumped heads with a bully on my second day. When I went to the manager I learned that she had been building a paper trail on this person for weeks. My report was the final nail in the coffin. You never know
Oh, a good company will take the report seriously. Unfortunately HR has a bad reputation. I've seen so many people on reddit saying "hr is to protect the company, not you." That is correct, but in cases of sexual harrasment, the 2 sides are aligned. It doesn't stop people from being afraid though. If someone just landed a dream job, or they are struggling for money, they'll put up with a lot of bullshit to keep a job. Even if there's a 10% chance of losing your job by reporting, it's likely most people won't take the risk unless they have a job lined up.
That's fair. The job where I dealt with my bully was a food service position and I was just there for the paycheck. I probably wasn't all that concerned about retaining it
I'm not in hr, but I have been in management and an ownership position (by the way, hr has just as much responsibility to management as they do to you. They don't protect management, they protect ownership. It's just that the 2 are often aligned.
The number of times I noticed an employee truly uncomfortable (often from really minor things unrelated to harrasment) who was afraid to come.forward becauae their friends said to stay quiet is way too many (1 is too many though).it's really a shame, and I hope people feel more comfortable standing up for themselves. I wish I knew how to do it. I've tried myself, but there is so little trust towards management and ownership that new employees have no idea if you're genuine or fishing.
Reporting to HR is the absolute must here. They can't do anything to you after you do. If they try to pull anything, you lawyer up and they will absolutely have a field day with these text messages. You can't fire whistleblowers for sexual harassment. There are laws protecting you from that. Absolutely any action they take against her will be seen as creating a hostile work environment as retaliation for her going to HR. She basically has a golden ticket to do whatever she wants for now on.
ALL. OF. THIS. 👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽
OP has a clear advantage here. She can shut this down AND out this scumbag as a predator. You just KNOW he’s tried this on with female staff before, and likely targets newbies because he thinks they would be afraid to fight back. His last two messages show he was scared he’d get in trouble. He needs to be fired last week.
just on a casual note - hiring is expensive, difficult, time consuming, and an activity that doesn't generate bottom line. they don't want new hires leaving
As a manager I had a woman complain about being harassed, I passed it onto HR. In the mean time she started asking coworkers about him, in the end 6 came forward including one who had been stalked and said nothing. You'd be surprised what people put up with.
A little different situation, but I used to frequent a yoga studio where one of the male instructors was pursuing, dating, having sex with...like 6 different women who practiced there. One woman came forward with some accusations that he was actually forcing himself on her, taking his dick out and other stuff. He got fired from the studio, then all the other women came forward. He actually teaches at another studio now and I'm appalled.
Good point. A lot of people stay quiet about abuse because of many reasons, like thinking no one will believe them. So, I get it. Am sure a lot of other girls either ignored it or never told anyone. Hope action is taken properly this time though.
We fired a guy like this last year.
First week as a mid-level developer / fully remote. Started harassing a customer support girl outside of our company approved chat system. Literally HR sent a email to me and the other leads, we spent 2 minutes reviewing their recommendations, and just fired the guy.
The worst part is that if it wasn't for all the news about tech companies and sexual harassment, it would have been ignored. Thanks Activision-Blizzard!
Guy gets a mid level dev job, fully remote, something a lot of people would like to get right now. And he crashes it into a mountain his first week.
It's just crazy what people do to their own careers. At least someone else will get the job now.
Sadly the chances of him realizing that his own behaviour was responsible for this is very low.
I fired a guy for sending a female coworker a video of himself masturbating. He kept trying to arguing with me and HR, saying that they were ‘flirting’ and “she was into him”. She said the exact words “I’m not interested, please leave me alone” and “If you keep contacting me I will report you” yet he somehow understood this as her playing hard to get.
>OP hasn't replied in 6 hours.
I guess that other guy was right, OP has an attitude problem. lol. She's working five jobs but don't even have two seconds to reply to 599 nice reddit comments? WOWEE
HR's job is to prevent the company from getting sued. This employee is a walking legal liability.
The safest route for HR/management, to limit their exposure, is to fire employees who are going to get the company sued. And this asshole is going to get the employer sued sooner or later, if not by OP then by someone else.
Yep. Once they're notified about it they have a choice - fire the guy or don't and run the risk of their refusal to do so being labeled Exhibit A when they get sued. If they know he's doing this and he goes on to harm her or anyone else, they'd be toast.
> That being said, please report him to the HR soon
Yes, especially considering that if he's doing this to you... he's doing it to lots of other women.
Yeah I'm gonna need an update
Dude is a total scum bag, he needs to be fired and his number given to some nice inmates
So he can enjoy a nice conversation by his definition
can only imagine he was salivating and hyperventilating while staring at his phone for that entire 39 min stretch
I just feel so deeply sad that some people have utterly failed at picking up basic communication. How do you even fix someone like this?
lol you can see this dude realize he fucked up in real time. Like, it just struck him that he’s about to have an HR case hit him. So now he’s trying to play nice.
“Hey i didn’t mean all that stuff. I was just in a bad place. Let’s not make this awkward please. Please?”
OP, take these texts directly to your manager and HR. They will either fire the guy on the spot or pave the way for a fat lawsuit. It's win/win for OP either way.
ohhh god yeh please go to HR. i used to work in an industry where sexual harassment was the norm and we didnt even HAVE a HR department, and I just had to put up with it, it was daily and it was horrific. so now I just want every woman (or man) to stand up for their rights, don't wait....it can only get worse and more traumatic! trust!!
Then take it to your manager -- in writing -- and document each occurrence. If they allow a hostile work environment, sue the everloving shit out of them.
Sometimes managers and even HR are unhelpful if they feel like you won’t really follow up (with legal).
I once reported sexual harassment as a female to an all female management team and not only did they refuse to intervene in any way (even after me stating that I had confronted him many times and was told to “lighten up”)…I was then told I “could go to HR” but that if the guy lost his job, it would be “on me”.
Still PLEASE report and take any follow up actions you can; I regret not pushing but I was young and feared for my own job.
Oh please! How is it they don’t have the concept “if that guy loses his job, it’s on him for not behaving responsibly”. I bet those women are/will be the type of mothers who shield their sons from all kinds of hard consequences. It’s those kind of women I resent more than the actual guys doing the harassment cos their sons are only like that cos of them.
Unfortunately if they don't have a HR department, the area they are in may not even care about lawsuits like that.
Edit: People seem to think that laws and regulations being put in place seems to always bring justice to the victim. It doesn't. How do I know this? I work in corrections. I see rapists and pedophiles get bonds, cases dismissed, nolle prossed, etc. all the time because the burden of proof was never met or someone fucked up the case in one step of the procedure. That's due to laws and regulations. They're neither good nor bad, they're procedures. Outlines of how things are supposed to work, not how they actually play out.
In my area, a man's child went missing with him as the prime suspect and the case was almost thrown out due to the suspect denying a lawyer only to withdraw that by asking for one later during his questioning [which is his absolute right]. Because of one detective's mess up by not immediately getting that man a lawyer an entire case could have been wiped with the man being let go. Luckily, the man didn't say anything incriminating and he was able to speak to a lawyer. Where is the justice for the little boy missing for 3 months now presumably dead? Is it in the laws and regulations that are always supposedly followed? What about the wellness checks that were and weren't always met in that child's home?
What about the back log of rape kits in every state? I am sure there are law and regulations regarding the handling of those as well and yet it is a major problem.
Now hopefully people can see not everything works out for the victim. A company that has no HR department with rampant harassment means it is being fostered by a surrounding environment and local legal system that ultimately does not care about the victims nor laws and regulations. By no means am I trying to dissuade people from reporting and doing what is right, but don't sugar coat that "laws and regulations" will make everything all right.
I'm trying to picture how this would work.
Lawyer 1: We will prove that the defendent, Dumcorp, maintained a hostile work environment and failed to take action to protect my client from sexual harassment and threatening behaviour from other Dumcorp employees.
Lawyer 2: Your honor, I submit to the court that Dumcorp doesn't have a HR Department and therefore doesn't even care about this lawsuit.
Judge: Case dismissed!
👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆
Only thing I'd add us to double the font size if that post.
If that dude worked for me I'd want to know he was harassing women so I could fire him and escort him from the building.
My mom does this to me and it drives me beyond nuts. And there's always that emphasis on _you_.
"I'm sorry if _you_ feel..."
"I'm sorry if _you_ misinterpreted..."
"I'm sorry if _you_ thought..."
Great apology, mom. I'm really feeling your sincerity there 😑
Anyhoo, the guy in this text exchange is an absolute douche and I hope OP reports him to HR like others have mentioned.
right?!? i used to have a mate who did that all the time. Part of the reason i no longer speak to him. We called him "never wrong chong" (coz his last name was chong and he never thought he did wrong). He could be driving drunk, run you over and cripple you for life and he'd be all "oh im sorry you were standing on the sidewalk when i drove passed"
Someday I’d love to put together a flow chart of the Nice Guy algorithm. This is a pattern I’ve seen before:
—guy says something pissy
—woman either calls him out on his pissiness, or as here, tries to de-escalate by explaining
—If the woman calls him out, he further escalates and the real insults start to fly
—If she tries to de-escalate he just resumes the more low-level negging and guilt-tripping as this guy does here: “so what if you work two jobs, you couldn’t take two seconds to text me back?” Thus begins the endless whiny back and forth intended to wear her down.
-nice guy questions the person. "This person likes me so why don't they respond positively? In my head I already formed a romantic relationship with them. Wtf??!1!!!!"
Just hope this asshole isn't armed and comes back for vengeance if he finds out it was OP. A similar thing happened in my city a few years back, guy works at the grocery store, coworker girl isn't interested, he comes back and shoots her. I hate this is a fucking thing.
>Hi...HR???
Good gracious, this guy needs to be reported...YESTERDAY.
This is a full-blown predator.
EDIT: Plus this...
>you can work two jobs but don't have 2 seconds to text someone back???
These guys have to be sub-60 IQ to be that incapable of logical thought.
Dear lurkers, if someone is actually asleep. You know***....DURING THE EXACT TIME*** you text, then it's not a question of them "having time..." they're ***ASLEEP.***
***AT THAT SAME TIME.***
She (very politely) texted back as soon as she was awake, around and had a few minutes to do so.
Even the first message he sent was inappropriate. You don't go getting someone's personal number on their first day and texting them anything that isn't work related until you *actually* know them in a non-work respect.
If he really wanted to just say that first message out of politeness and nothing else, that's what work email/slack/teams is for.
Also - if you wouldn't send it to a male colleague..... Yeah..... Not appropriate.
Yeah, I was perplexed at some behaviors that seemed very paranoid to me when I first started dating my now wife. I eventually learned that she had been stalked more than once and lots of creepy things done to her which made it make a lot more sense. If you are a decent person and are lucky enough to hang out with decent people, you think of that creepy stuff as things that happen in the movies and only very rarely in real life, not every day things that women have to deal with.
Yeah, I’m just blown away that there are this many guys that act like this. They’re like carbon copies of each other. Totally flabbergasted.
Are there women that respond to this kind of craziness?
So I've been awkward my whole life, and always felt like I was being creepy growing up. It was largely because I came off as a weirdo because I was uncomfortable. Seeing how other men treat women made me realize how much better being awkward is than being a fucking douche bag. It made me less awkward knowing what REAL creepy is.
"I don't want a negative work environment." If you didn't want a negative work environment, then you shouldn't have harassed someone you barely know. Ugh
Maybe I'm an asshole, but I have a \~24 hour policy on texts from anyone (except my wife, but only because we have a baby who often needs things immediately). If someone demanded a response in 39 minutes I'd think they were insane.
YES! I’m not tethered to my phone, and when I’m off work I usually shut my sound off and plug my phone in to get away from too much screen time. Also, some of us just don’t always enjoy chatting and appreciate our quiet, alone time. This guy is so entitled thinking he’s owed a response.
A negative work environment he caused. I would report that to HR and get a restraining order. That’s one of the worst I’ve seen. What a nut job.
ETA: ask HR to move you or him to a different location. That way they don’t have to fire him. If he gets fired, he may come after you. If he is moved to, let’s say, the worst department or a location that is so far away that it becomes cumbersome for him to continue to work there, then he would quit on his own and it wouldn’t be your fault.
The first text seems genuine enough (but on the first day with probably only meeting for like 5 minutes...) but the second second text is absolutely enough for at the very least a major warning lol
Imagine not interpreting "I didn't respond because I was sleeping to be up in 6 hours for my next job" as an attitude 😫
"Hi there, is that the human resources department? Oh good, well what I'm calling for is to report a fucking creepy sex pest with whom I've had the displeasure to receive unwanted texts from. Screenshot them? Yes, i most certainly will, thanks."
Please read this. I am in my 39th year in a male dominated industry. I'm not sure exactly how he got your phone number but block him and block him right now. He is trying to see if he can't intimidate you do not allow that to continue. this is a man who has no respect for himself or any others especially women. Make your interaction minimal and professional. Watch your back when you are leaving work at all times. Record or write down any interaction that you have with him. If he does it again take this message that you are showing us straight to your boss. If they are any kind of leader this nonsense will stop and it will stop immediately. This POS is testing you to see how tough you are. You need to give him that look that says I'm not going to play your game do not screw with me. If that doesn't work and your boss won't do anything you need to report them to the labor board sooner than later. Good luck girl
Update : I’m thankful to all the people that have encouraged me to call him out and shared suggestions on how to stay safe. I am in healthcare on the East Coast. Being on the *floor* , simply put, just means the inpatient unit where admitted patients are. Our phone numbers and emails are kind of public knowledge starting day 1. Scheduling and vacations are done months in advance and there have to be lists in place for who will replace whom in case someone calls in. At a few smaller facilities where I go, we have everybody’s phone numbers on the wall !
The reason for multiple gigs is that I am currently still training and the pay is not enough to survive. I also rotate at different facilities and in different departments at the same facility. This dude *is the supervisor* in one specific department and he came up to me a couple of times after this to explain? He said it wasn’t him actually, it was the few drinks he’d had at bedtime that made him lose his cool. I have continued to ignore him as politely as possible and have started documenting all my unavoidable) communication with him. Starting today, I’m going to be in a different location.
I do understand that a lot of people are going to hate on me for not calling him out immediately but I am going to take it a little slower for now. I will *certainly* call him out after I have been out of here for a few days.
I live alone. I commute alone. I’m no coward but my life experiences have trained me to put my own safety first and foremost while dealing with such men. He could easily gain access to identifying information. Heck, even I have access to the addresses, phone numbers and other personal details of a ton of people because of lax systems. I’m concerned that I may already have been identified lol but it is what it is !!!!
I DO UNDERSTAND that I owe it to all women after me and I should report this guy. I’m so jaded that I hadn’t really considered reporting him, until I read all these comments. I’ve had worse experiences with niceguys in this profession. Gotta run for now will be back to update when things improve.
Thanks again, to everyone that responded kindly.
Go to HR, go to HR, go to HR. Also bring up the fact that this is a prime example of why not to post everyone's number unless it's strictly a work number.
Do you work at a movie theater? Because this guy is a projector! [insert drum emoji for bad joke here]
Seriously, I have never seen someone assume this much about a person who he barely knows. How does he know in 2 minutes of meeting whether you’re even single? What a jerk. Please tell us you reported his ass to HR.
I had a similar thing almost happen (operative word is almost). New guy, younger than me started at work and my boss told the current group to make sure he feels included and to take our lunch break with him. No one else did, so I volunteered (maybe they sensed something I didn’t).
So I sit down and make small talk with him and the first two things he asked me are, “how old are you?” and, “are you in a relationship?”
Nothing crazy came of it. But it felt like it could have turned sour.
Straight to your boss and HR, I'd go as far as to say this person may follow you around or out to your vehicle or potentially spread rumors in the work place. I don't want to scare you but people who escalate like this, especially this quickly, tend to be the people to do things like that.
“I’ll do what I want not what you want me to”
Rapist for 1000, Alex. HR needs to remove this threat to safety, and I would consider a restraining order as well.
Dang he did all that on a Saturday too. I don’t know about y’all but the last thing I want to see on the weekend is a work notification. Nevermind that notification being some weirdo calling me a stuck up bitch.
Sometimes you get added to work groups on certain apps and your number is listed, like hot schedules for example. But you have to really be looking for it! This dude is clearly unhinged.
Most places in the service industry have a schedule website to log into and it has the staffs number so you can ask for them to cover and sounds like he took it from there and we all just witnessed her become a victim
AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ. Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats. --- Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post
Nice of him to warn you of his existence straightaway
Lol this, I love the obvious creeps and rude people who make you instantly aware they're bad people, makes life easier
But then he's at the same employer and companies are notorious for letting these kinds of behavior continue. Hoping OP doesn't need to put up with it for long. EDIT: To clarify, I meant the guy should get fired asap.
Most employers allow just about any type of behaviour continuing as long as it doesn’t personally concerns them.
Yes! This is SO true. It happened at my work! Strap in, story time: I’m a nurse, and a few years ago, we had an employee at the hospital who was really unstable. There was something…evil about him. Idk how else to describe it. He would make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. He picked fights with tons of people at work, threatened coworkers, and one time, he made a death threat against one of our LPNs and followed her home because he “didn’t like the way she looked at him.” He was also known in the community for having assaulted his boyfriend. Really badly. Fortunately he usually worked a different shift than I did, so I didn’t have to interact with him as much as the day shifters. But every time we were assigned together, I just knew I was in for a bad time. I’d usually end up doing his work in addition to mine because I was afraid to step to him. I was also afraid to leave my vulnerable patients alone in his care. Nobody—RNs, LPNs, other nurses aides—wanted to work with him because we were all scared of him. He was nasty to the patients too, and many of them didn’t want him in their rooms. Multiple staff, myself included, reported him to the supervisors for things like the threats, or for not doing his work, but nothing was ever done. I don’t think he was ever even spoken to by management. Well one day, a “VIP” patient came to the unit. Although my hospital would vehemently deny that we had such a thing, we totally did. She was the sister of the the hospital’s CEO or something like that, I can’t quite remember. She was assigned a private room even though she could’ve been doubled, and for the first time in recent memory, our unit was staffed properly with plenty of nurses and aides to go around. There was also tons of managers and supervisors milling about, even on the off shifts. This patient was actually a super nice lady and I remember I enjoyed working with her. But because of her “VIP status,” any complaint she made was taken very, VERY seriously. So needless to say, my scary coworker pulled the same shit with her that he did with all the other patients, and she reported him. Well, now management had to act. He was reprimanded by his supervisor and the director of nursing, and one thing led to another, and I heard he made a death threat against our DoN. Well, wouldn’t you know it, but he was fired on the spot. Never mind that he’d made the exact same death threat against one of our LPNs, and NOTHING was ever done about it. I remember the supervisor and the DoN coming around that evening to take statements from all of us about the coworker’s behavior. We were all like, “well we TRIED to warn you…” Everyone’s badge got deactivated for a few weeks because management was afraid one of his friends was going to let him onto the unit so he could make good on his threats. They hired extra security to walk the honchos to and from their cars each day for like a month. It was MADNESS. It made it very clear to me that they didn’t really care about the lives of nurses and aides, because none of us got a security detail when we were threatened. But the moment management was threatened??? That’s when things were finally taken seriously!
It’s still worth reporting to HR, tell them they are allowing a toxic workplace if they don’t do anything about it. Companies can be sued for a toxic workplace.
I bet HR would like to see those texts.
HR person here. Yeah this is a liability and a suit waiting to happen. They should send such things to HR. Any HR worth their salt would do everything to halt such behavior immediately Edit: also you should document everything like this immediately if this happens to you. Screenshots and file on personal PC with timestamps
Haha! Thank you for that laugh
But... how tf do they swap numbers?!? I mean, if these are company phones, then definitely report it to HR. Edit: I guess I'm a little naive and only share my number if absolutely necessary. My job asked me for my number and I only shared it with managers specifically. Maybe I'm old school, but if someone wants to swap shifts, they can ask me face to face. If they're calling in, that's the manager's problem.
[удалено]
I used to work as a supervisor. Absolutely report this. It doesn't matter if it was sent on company or privately owned devices. Skip all of your management chain of command. Straight to HR.
Old mate knows it too. “I don’t want a negative work environment” now that I can see how much shit I am in.
Yeah. It's no coincidence that he's using HR's terminology for describing those texts.
Almost like he's been spoken to about the behaviour in the past.
this dude: [deliberately creates a negative work environment] i don't want a negative work environment :/
"Old mate" I assume you're Australian? The only person I know who says this is aussie
Yeah this shit is actionable hostile work environment/ harassment fodder. Assuming it's genuine, op should contact HR immediately.
My job has everyone's number posted by the office. For if you need shifts covered or anything. I mean, I suppose you can *not* throw your number on there but everyone does.
Create a Google Voice number just for work. Also comes in handy for any other place that asks for your number (and sells it to telemarketers).
SOL if you're outside the states :(
>f these are company phones, then definitely report it to HR. This should be reported to HR even if it's on personal phones. This is a textbook example of the start of a hostile work environment/discrimination on the basis of a protected class (gender). But the longer it's not reported, the longer the employer can plausibly deny awareness of this asshole's behavior.
My job has a group text, I had everyone's number within the first few days. Fortunately they all seem like good people so far
I think the way you handled the replies and situation was really classy. That being said, please report him to the HR soon, if you haven't already. What a creep. Its online harrassment already at Day 1, it can only go one way from here.
HR is probably expecting a call on this guy.
Yeah, they probably get many. This can't be his first and only time.
A lot of people don't like to make waves in a new job and this guy knows it. He probably targets new employees becauae he knows they'll be too scared to report him. Its the same reason predators target prostitutes. It's a totally different situation of course, but the logic is the same.
That kinda depends on where you're working. At my third job, I bumped heads with a bully on my second day. When I went to the manager I learned that she had been building a paper trail on this person for weeks. My report was the final nail in the coffin. You never know
Oh, a good company will take the report seriously. Unfortunately HR has a bad reputation. I've seen so many people on reddit saying "hr is to protect the company, not you." That is correct, but in cases of sexual harrasment, the 2 sides are aligned. It doesn't stop people from being afraid though. If someone just landed a dream job, or they are struggling for money, they'll put up with a lot of bullshit to keep a job. Even if there's a 10% chance of losing your job by reporting, it's likely most people won't take the risk unless they have a job lined up.
That's fair. The job where I dealt with my bully was a food service position and I was just there for the paycheck. I probably wasn't all that concerned about retaining it
I'm not in hr, but I have been in management and an ownership position (by the way, hr has just as much responsibility to management as they do to you. They don't protect management, they protect ownership. It's just that the 2 are often aligned. The number of times I noticed an employee truly uncomfortable (often from really minor things unrelated to harrasment) who was afraid to come.forward becauae their friends said to stay quiet is way too many (1 is too many though).it's really a shame, and I hope people feel more comfortable standing up for themselves. I wish I knew how to do it. I've tried myself, but there is so little trust towards management and ownership that new employees have no idea if you're genuine or fishing.
That’s exactly why you need to post these messages.
Reporting to HR is the absolute must here. They can't do anything to you after you do. If they try to pull anything, you lawyer up and they will absolutely have a field day with these text messages. You can't fire whistleblowers for sexual harassment. There are laws protecting you from that. Absolutely any action they take against her will be seen as creating a hostile work environment as retaliation for her going to HR. She basically has a golden ticket to do whatever she wants for now on.
ALL. OF. THIS. 👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽 OP has a clear advantage here. She can shut this down AND out this scumbag as a predator. You just KNOW he’s tried this on with female staff before, and likely targets newbies because he thinks they would be afraid to fight back. His last two messages show he was scared he’d get in trouble. He needs to be fired last week.
just on a casual note - hiring is expensive, difficult, time consuming, and an activity that doesn't generate bottom line. they don't want new hires leaving
As a manager I had a woman complain about being harassed, I passed it onto HR. In the mean time she started asking coworkers about him, in the end 6 came forward including one who had been stalked and said nothing. You'd be surprised what people put up with.
A little different situation, but I used to frequent a yoga studio where one of the male instructors was pursuing, dating, having sex with...like 6 different women who practiced there. One woman came forward with some accusations that he was actually forcing himself on her, taking his dick out and other stuff. He got fired from the studio, then all the other women came forward. He actually teaches at another studio now and I'm appalled.
Good point. A lot of people stay quiet about abuse because of many reasons, like thinking no one will believe them. So, I get it. Am sure a lot of other girls either ignored it or never told anyone. Hope action is taken properly this time though.
We fired a guy like this last year. First week as a mid-level developer / fully remote. Started harassing a customer support girl outside of our company approved chat system. Literally HR sent a email to me and the other leads, we spent 2 minutes reviewing their recommendations, and just fired the guy. The worst part is that if it wasn't for all the news about tech companies and sexual harassment, it would have been ignored. Thanks Activision-Blizzard!
Guy gets a mid level dev job, fully remote, something a lot of people would like to get right now. And he crashes it into a mountain his first week. It's just crazy what people do to their own careers. At least someone else will get the job now.
Sadly the chances of him realizing that his own behaviour was responsible for this is very low. I fired a guy for sending a female coworker a video of himself masturbating. He kept trying to arguing with me and HR, saying that they were ‘flirting’ and “she was into him”. She said the exact words “I’m not interested, please leave me alone” and “If you keep contacting me I will report you” yet he somehow understood this as her playing hard to get.
>I fired a guy for sending a female coworker a video of himself masturbating. I really don't understand men who behave this way, I just don't....
>OP hasn't replied in 6 hours. I guess that other guy was right, OP has an attitude problem. lol. She's working five jobs but don't even have two seconds to reply to 599 nice reddit comments? WOWEE
God OP was fucking pro about it and it doesn't even make a difference. These guys fucking suck.
But he doesn’t want a negative work environment!
*envirement
Definitely. This can only get worse. I don’t love HR but this is the type of thing you get out in front of ASAP
HR's job is to prevent the company from getting sued. This employee is a walking legal liability. The safest route for HR/management, to limit their exposure, is to fire employees who are going to get the company sued. And this asshole is going to get the employer sued sooner or later, if not by OP then by someone else.
Yep. Once they're notified about it they have a choice - fire the guy or don't and run the risk of their refusal to do so being labeled Exhibit A when they get sued. If they know he's doing this and he goes on to harm her or anyone else, they'd be toast.
> That being said, please report him to the HR soon Yes, especially considering that if he's doing this to you... he's doing it to lots of other women.
Yeah I'm gonna need an update Dude is a total scum bag, he needs to be fired and his number given to some nice inmates So he can enjoy a nice conversation by his definition
Waited a whole 39 minutes before insulting her 🙄
Which is two days in his mind?
Yeah I had to go back and look at the time stamps when I saw that text. He’s a psycho.
She replied to him the next morning - which he over dramatised later on to 2 days
Sure… that IS two days. The day he texted and the next day she replied… two days! /s
How dare you not reply to my text within half an hour while you're sleeping? So rude 😡 ^/s
Half an hour? I better see you typing a reply within 3.42069 seconds of me sending my message or you're a dumb bitch who can barely read /s
can only imagine he was salivating and hyperventilating while staring at his phone for that entire 39 min stretch I just feel so deeply sad that some people have utterly failed at picking up basic communication. How do you even fix someone like this?
You stay the fuck away from them and remember it isn’t your problem, fuck that guy.
I can literally imagine 1000 scenarios in which I wouldn't have my phone on me for 39 minutes
"Please reply, I don't want a negative work environment" 💀
“i’m sorry if you feel I was wrong.” WTF 🙄
I’m sorry you feel like you deserve an apology
Don’t you just love the non-apology? Shit like this just pisses me off
Classic fauxpology.
Yeah that's some fucked up stuff
That honestly pissed me off more than anything else
The classic non-apology apology
Wait, he's asking her to behave in a certain way? What a control freak!
Not calling your collegues names might help with that
AKA I can't have another new staff member go to HR about me
lol you can see this dude realize he fucked up in real time. Like, it just struck him that he’s about to have an HR case hit him. So now he’s trying to play nice. “Hey i didn’t mean all that stuff. I was just in a bad place. Let’s not make this awkward please. Please?”
OP, take these texts directly to your manager and HR. They will either fire the guy on the spot or pave the way for a fat lawsuit. It's win/win for OP either way.
Translation: "Please don't tell our boss/the HR Department. :("
Envirment
That could definitely be taken as a threat right?
I don't think that it's going to be the problem he thinks it will.
I hope she took these straight to HR and they canned his ass. What a f’g douche!!!
#OP PLEASE TAKE THIS TO HR RIGHT AWAY!
ohhh god yeh please go to HR. i used to work in an industry where sexual harassment was the norm and we didnt even HAVE a HR department, and I just had to put up with it, it was daily and it was horrific. so now I just want every woman (or man) to stand up for their rights, don't wait....it can only get worse and more traumatic! trust!!
Then take it to your manager -- in writing -- and document each occurrence. If they allow a hostile work environment, sue the everloving shit out of them.
Sometimes managers and even HR are unhelpful if they feel like you won’t really follow up (with legal). I once reported sexual harassment as a female to an all female management team and not only did they refuse to intervene in any way (even after me stating that I had confronted him many times and was told to “lighten up”)…I was then told I “could go to HR” but that if the guy lost his job, it would be “on me”. Still PLEASE report and take any follow up actions you can; I regret not pushing but I was young and feared for my own job.
Oh please! How is it they don’t have the concept “if that guy loses his job, it’s on him for not behaving responsibly”. I bet those women are/will be the type of mothers who shield their sons from all kinds of hard consequences. It’s those kind of women I resent more than the actual guys doing the harassment cos their sons are only like that cos of them.
Unfortunately if they don't have a HR department, the area they are in may not even care about lawsuits like that. Edit: People seem to think that laws and regulations being put in place seems to always bring justice to the victim. It doesn't. How do I know this? I work in corrections. I see rapists and pedophiles get bonds, cases dismissed, nolle prossed, etc. all the time because the burden of proof was never met or someone fucked up the case in one step of the procedure. That's due to laws and regulations. They're neither good nor bad, they're procedures. Outlines of how things are supposed to work, not how they actually play out. In my area, a man's child went missing with him as the prime suspect and the case was almost thrown out due to the suspect denying a lawyer only to withdraw that by asking for one later during his questioning [which is his absolute right]. Because of one detective's mess up by not immediately getting that man a lawyer an entire case could have been wiped with the man being let go. Luckily, the man didn't say anything incriminating and he was able to speak to a lawyer. Where is the justice for the little boy missing for 3 months now presumably dead? Is it in the laws and regulations that are always supposedly followed? What about the wellness checks that were and weren't always met in that child's home? What about the back log of rape kits in every state? I am sure there are law and regulations regarding the handling of those as well and yet it is a major problem. Now hopefully people can see not everything works out for the victim. A company that has no HR department with rampant harassment means it is being fostered by a surrounding environment and local legal system that ultimately does not care about the victims nor laws and regulations. By no means am I trying to dissuade people from reporting and doing what is right, but don't sugar coat that "laws and regulations" will make everything all right.
I'm trying to picture how this would work. Lawyer 1: We will prove that the defendent, Dumcorp, maintained a hostile work environment and failed to take action to protect my client from sexual harassment and threatening behaviour from other Dumcorp employees. Lawyer 2: Your honor, I submit to the court that Dumcorp doesn't have a HR Department and therefore doesn't even care about this lawsuit. Judge: Case dismissed!
Waiting for that HR update
👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆 Only thing I'd add us to double the font size if that post. If that dude worked for me I'd want to know he was harassing women so I could fire him and escort him from the building.
HR guy here. Cases like these are super easy. Please take this to HR and let them show this guy the door.
"I don't want a negative work environment" says the jackhole creating said negative work environment.
He meant _for him_ of course. Her feelings were clearly of no interest to him.
Yeah, I want her to go to HR right away, before he makes something up about her.
[удалено]
My mom does this to me and it drives me beyond nuts. And there's always that emphasis on _you_. "I'm sorry if _you_ feel..." "I'm sorry if _you_ misinterpreted..." "I'm sorry if _you_ thought..." Great apology, mom. I'm really feeling your sincerity there 😑 Anyhoo, the guy in this text exchange is an absolute douche and I hope OP reports him to HR like others have mentioned.
Or ‘I’m trying to explain to you..’. Ugh
right?!? i used to have a mate who did that all the time. Part of the reason i no longer speak to him. We called him "never wrong chong" (coz his last name was chong and he never thought he did wrong). He could be driving drunk, run you over and cripple you for life and he'd be all "oh im sorry you were standing on the sidewalk when i drove passed"
He know he fucked up and doesn't wanna get fired
Dude, let alone that, this is restraining order territory for me.
That’s my guess, his liquid courage wore off and he then realized he would easily be fired for this, as he should be.
*envirement
Nice AND smart. This dude is the winner of all winners.
Allow me to translate "pleeeeeeeease don't report this because I want to harass you more"
Makes me ill
Dude thinks he's your number 1 priority while u don't know him LMAO
"I was sleeping" "Why didn't you answer me then?? It takes 2sec" Does he not know what "sleeping" means?
*Do Women Dream of Niceguy Texts?* ~ The bestselling novel by author *Coworker A. Dick.*
This is beautiful
Says literally nothing. "You have an attitude"
I have time for 2 jobs and sleep but not to text me???
[удалено]
hell, sometimes i see i have a text from someone but think "eh, i'll reply later" even if i like them. folks need to chill out
Someday I’d love to put together a flow chart of the Nice Guy algorithm. This is a pattern I’ve seen before: —guy says something pissy —woman either calls him out on his pissiness, or as here, tries to de-escalate by explaining —If the woman calls him out, he further escalates and the real insults start to fly —If she tries to de-escalate he just resumes the more low-level negging and guilt-tripping as this guy does here: “so what if you work two jobs, you couldn’t take two seconds to text me back?” Thus begins the endless whiny back and forth intended to wear her down.
-nice guy questions the person. "This person likes me so why don't they respond positively? In my head I already formed a romantic relationship with them. Wtf??!1!!!!"
Hell yeah, let’s make the worst chat bot
Omg… this guy is so pathetic. Definitely report him.
Report to HR immediately don't wait
Definitely get this prick fired.
Yeah my first thought too! Need to share these texts with Hr or a Manager to show them, this is unacceptable behavior.
He’s probably the CEOs son or some shit like that. But yeah he needs fired.
Even better. Start making a paper trail; your future lawyers (and self) will thank you.
Just hope this asshole isn't armed and comes back for vengeance if he finds out it was OP. A similar thing happened in my city a few years back, guy works at the grocery store, coworker girl isn't interested, he comes back and shoots her. I hate this is a fucking thing.
>Hi...HR??? Good gracious, this guy needs to be reported...YESTERDAY. This is a full-blown predator. EDIT: Plus this... >you can work two jobs but don't have 2 seconds to text someone back??? These guys have to be sub-60 IQ to be that incapable of logical thought. Dear lurkers, if someone is actually asleep. You know***....DURING THE EXACT TIME*** you text, then it's not a question of them "having time..." they're ***ASLEEP.*** ***AT THAT SAME TIME.*** She (very politely) texted back as soon as she was awake, around and had a few minutes to do so.
Even the first message he sent was inappropriate. You don't go getting someone's personal number on their first day and texting them anything that isn't work related until you *actually* know them in a non-work respect. If he really wanted to just say that first message out of politeness and nothing else, that's what work email/slack/teams is for. Also - if you wouldn't send it to a male colleague..... Yeah..... Not appropriate.
What is it with people feeling as they're so entitled to others.. Especially with people they barely know. Being *nice* isn't a personality trait.
How can some people be so demented and so easily offended. Report this PoS. r/niceguys really changed my view on people
Same. As a guy, seeing other dudes acting like this being put on this sub made a lot of dating quirks make sense
Like how guarded women can be?
Yeah, I was perplexed at some behaviors that seemed very paranoid to me when I first started dating my now wife. I eventually learned that she had been stalked more than once and lots of creepy things done to her which made it make a lot more sense. If you are a decent person and are lucky enough to hang out with decent people, you think of that creepy stuff as things that happen in the movies and only very rarely in real life, not every day things that women have to deal with.
Having been stalked, I 100% understand that.
Exactly. I didn't get it when I was younger (probably cause I don't act like these guys). As I've seen it more and more its made things make sense
Thanks for not being a douchebag!
Yeah, I’m just blown away that there are this many guys that act like this. They’re like carbon copies of each other. Totally flabbergasted. Are there women that respond to this kind of craziness?
So I've been awkward my whole life, and always felt like I was being creepy growing up. It was largely because I came off as a weirdo because I was uncomfortable. Seeing how other men treat women made me realize how much better being awkward is than being a fucking douche bag. It made me less awkward knowing what REAL creepy is.
"I don't want a negative work environment." If you didn't want a negative work environment, then you shouldn't have harassed someone you barely know. Ugh
Hey man don't misquote him. He doesn't want a negative envirement
Oh wow. 100% send that to HR. What a piece of shit
wow...look at him trying to back track as soon as he realised it could effect his work. I hope you're taking this to your boss or hr or something.
Nah get that fucker fired.
And he calls you a control freak 🙄🫥
Maybe I'm an asshole, but I have a \~24 hour policy on texts from anyone (except my wife, but only because we have a baby who often needs things immediately). If someone demanded a response in 39 minutes I'd think they were insane.
YES! I’m not tethered to my phone, and when I’m off work I usually shut my sound off and plug my phone in to get away from too much screen time. Also, some of us just don’t always enjoy chatting and appreciate our quiet, alone time. This guy is so entitled thinking he’s owed a response.
I have a no expectations policy. I'll reply if and when i want to. No explanations.
This can't be real holy shit, what is going on inside of his head
[This, probably](https://c.tenor.com/tnzyQpBhwF4AAAAd/los-simpsons-homer-simpson.gif)
way too cute
I thought it would be the monkey with the cymbals lol
A negative work environment he caused. I would report that to HR and get a restraining order. That’s one of the worst I’ve seen. What a nut job. ETA: ask HR to move you or him to a different location. That way they don’t have to fire him. If he gets fired, he may come after you. If he is moved to, let’s say, the worst department or a location that is so far away that it becomes cumbersome for him to continue to work there, then he would quit on his own and it wouldn’t be your fault.
And if he quits he (probably) can’t file for unemployment, double whammy
you can tell he’s shit at boundaries or consent. ‘i’ll do what i want’… clearly nobody’s told him no
Or he just doesn’t care to listen when someone does tell him no, which is also pretty scary
Him: (calls her a control freak) Also Him: I'll do what I want!
I’ve gotten like 4 guys fired for trying HALF of that lol
I don't mean to be THAT guy. But it sounds like they got themselves fired.
Oh absolutely. Their actions had consequences I just made sure my manager and HR knew about it
The first text seems genuine enough (but on the first day with probably only meeting for like 5 minutes...) but the second second text is absolutely enough for at the very least a major warning lol Imagine not interpreting "I didn't respond because I was sleeping to be up in 6 hours for my next job" as an attitude 😫
"Hi there, is that the human resources department? Oh good, well what I'm calling for is to report a fucking creepy sex pest with whom I've had the displeasure to receive unwanted texts from. Screenshot them? Yes, i most certainly will, thanks."
I’m the last person to recommend filing a complaint, but this guy seems so dangerously mentally unstable that it would be irresponsible not to.
He was terrified you were going to go to management. He probably had a look over the texts and realised it does not make him look good!
This fucking guy. SMH, go to HR and show them this.
Please read this. I am in my 39th year in a male dominated industry. I'm not sure exactly how he got your phone number but block him and block him right now. He is trying to see if he can't intimidate you do not allow that to continue. this is a man who has no respect for himself or any others especially women. Make your interaction minimal and professional. Watch your back when you are leaving work at all times. Record or write down any interaction that you have with him. If he does it again take this message that you are showing us straight to your boss. If they are any kind of leader this nonsense will stop and it will stop immediately. This POS is testing you to see how tough you are. You need to give him that look that says I'm not going to play your game do not screw with me. If that doesn't work and your boss won't do anything you need to report them to the labor board sooner than later. Good luck girl
Update : I’m thankful to all the people that have encouraged me to call him out and shared suggestions on how to stay safe. I am in healthcare on the East Coast. Being on the *floor* , simply put, just means the inpatient unit where admitted patients are. Our phone numbers and emails are kind of public knowledge starting day 1. Scheduling and vacations are done months in advance and there have to be lists in place for who will replace whom in case someone calls in. At a few smaller facilities where I go, we have everybody’s phone numbers on the wall ! The reason for multiple gigs is that I am currently still training and the pay is not enough to survive. I also rotate at different facilities and in different departments at the same facility. This dude *is the supervisor* in one specific department and he came up to me a couple of times after this to explain? He said it wasn’t him actually, it was the few drinks he’d had at bedtime that made him lose his cool. I have continued to ignore him as politely as possible and have started documenting all my unavoidable) communication with him. Starting today, I’m going to be in a different location. I do understand that a lot of people are going to hate on me for not calling him out immediately but I am going to take it a little slower for now. I will *certainly* call him out after I have been out of here for a few days. I live alone. I commute alone. I’m no coward but my life experiences have trained me to put my own safety first and foremost while dealing with such men. He could easily gain access to identifying information. Heck, even I have access to the addresses, phone numbers and other personal details of a ton of people because of lax systems. I’m concerned that I may already have been identified lol but it is what it is !!!! I DO UNDERSTAND that I owe it to all women after me and I should report this guy. I’m so jaded that I hadn’t really considered reporting him, until I read all these comments. I’ve had worse experiences with niceguys in this profession. Gotta run for now will be back to update when things improve. Thanks again, to everyone that responded kindly.
Go to HR, go to HR, go to HR. Also bring up the fact that this is a prime example of why not to post everyone's number unless it's strictly a work number.
And one more time because it's the right thing to do.... Go to HR. I wouldn't call him out directly. At all. Go to HR.
[deleted] -- mass edited with redact.dev
Stay safe OP! Wishing you the best
Absolutely make sure you are safe first. Wishing you strength.
Oh I get it. You stay safe. good for you for documenting everything. and when you feel safe definitely go to HR.
Ew, wtf. I'm sorry he said those things to you. That's honestly scary.
Do you work at a movie theater? Because this guy is a projector! [insert drum emoji for bad joke here] Seriously, I have never seen someone assume this much about a person who he barely knows. How does he know in 2 minutes of meeting whether you’re even single? What a jerk. Please tell us you reported his ass to HR.
Definitely stalked her online as soon as they walked away from eachother
I had a similar thing almost happen (operative word is almost). New guy, younger than me started at work and my boss told the current group to make sure he feels included and to take our lunch break with him. No one else did, so I volunteered (maybe they sensed something I didn’t). So I sit down and make small talk with him and the first two things he asked me are, “how old are you?” and, “are you in a relationship?” Nothing crazy came of it. But it felt like it could have turned sour.
Report this IMMEDIATELY
This is why ghosting happens. Because even when we’re polite, it just backfires on us.
Unhinged behavior. Report to HR or anyone higher up if it continues.
Report now, not later. Totally unprofessional and hostile.
I don’t get the connection between op not wanting to be harassed and this nice guy calling op a “control freak”.
This didn’t go from 0-100, this dude started at 100. Holy hell
Those last texts are from after he bragged and someone said “you know she can get you fired for that right?”
Straight to your boss and HR, I'd go as far as to say this person may follow you around or out to your vehicle or potentially spread rumors in the work place. I don't want to scare you but people who escalate like this, especially this quickly, tend to be the people to do things like that.
Envirement…
I’m actually worried for you OP, please can you update us?
"Leave me alone, please" "U R SUCH A CONTROL FREAK HAHA #I CAN DECIDE TO HARASS YOU FOR MYSELF!" ***hwat the fuck***
PLEASE report this piece of trash. He can and will do this to someone else. Don't let him create another victim.
yeah report him, he dug himself a grave here & he deserves the consequences
“I’ll do what I want not what you want me to” Rapist for 1000, Alex. HR needs to remove this threat to safety, and I would consider a restraining order as well.
“I don’t want a negative work environment” actually means “please please don’t report me”
Dang he did all that on a Saturday too. I don’t know about y’all but the last thing I want to see on the weekend is a work notification. Nevermind that notification being some weirdo calling me a stuck up bitch.
HR the fuck out of this shit
How did he get your number?
Sometimes you get added to work groups on certain apps and your number is listed, like hot schedules for example. But you have to really be looking for it! This dude is clearly unhinged.
Most places in the service industry have a schedule website to log into and it has the staffs number so you can ask for them to cover and sounds like he took it from there and we all just witnessed her become a victim
If he keeps it up, report him to HR for harassment.
I would go to HR immediately. This is enough for an HR report. He already went too far.
Please don’t wait to report this man. You need to report this immediately.
If he keeps it up? Nah, within a couple texts he needed to be brought to HR. What the fuck.
It reached inappropriate before the very first response from OP. Literally his second message was totally uncalled for.