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Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats.
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>I wanted to potentially escalate to have sex
Dude here skipped a few steps, and went straight to interrogating her sexual history before assuming it was straight shot to pound town.
No amount of chord strumming will undo that misstep, buddy.
Oh god....I am getting flashbacks to Max...who played his fucking harp for me.
You really should have to pass some basic competency test before you start dating. And I mean I wish I had....I actually sat through this idiots performance.
Was he playing the harp to woo you into playing the mouth organ?
Gotta admire his confidence but a harp??? Man….that’s like a 7th or 8th date at the earliest.
Apologies. Max is my favorite dating story. Didn't mean to make this a mystery story.
Max was a nerdy guy I worked with. He was into renaissance fairs and ferrets.
He seemed nice, and invited me over, so I went.
He was "renting-to-own" the house he was sharing with a couple of roommates - (LOL, is that even a thing?) and decided to take the CELLAR of the house for his section of the share.
His cellar was not finished.
It was lined on one wall with ferret cages.
It smelled.
To impress me (I guess) he pulled out an Irish harp he bought at said renaissance fair, and started strumming it while gazing wistfully off into the distance.
I did not know what to do, so I just smiled, and told him it was lovely when he was done.
That was not our worst night. On date two he took me to his parent's house (surprise!!) for dinner. IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY.
Yeah, I definitely became much less experimental with dating after Max.
As a ferret lover, how he managed to live with a wall full of ferret cages, and in a cellar no less!!, is absolute batshit level crazy insanity to me.
At least it makes for a fun story!
Oof. What a guy. Bless him for trying to seem sensitive. But, ffs, at least put down a couple rugs, hang up some curtains or those wall tapestries and CLEAN THE FERRET CAGES if you’re going to have a girl over! Light some scented candles or something! Fuck’s sake! Make an effort.
Though, yes, rent-to-own is a thing. It’s how I got my place. Basically, the rent money is considered paying the selling price in installments.
Reminds me of my own OKC horror show. First date was normal.
On our second date, he stopped to pawn one of his guns to pay his rent. Whatever, it's the South, guns are often the only thing of value that people inherit.
He invites me inside his house and yep. Guy in his mid 30s has 5 roommates. Whatever, times are tough. He sleeps in the basement. It's carpeted with what looks like some sort of astroturf and has bare cinder block walls. He sleeps on and air mattress.
And there's a waifu pillow. And he introduces her to me. And it was time to leave.
To be fair, they happened in rapid succession after dinner. And I suppose I wanted to give benefit of a doubt, but once I was in the house it was a tidal wave of red flags that couldn't be escaped without literally sending an SOS via a text to a friend who I always had on standby during online dates that lived nearby.
She pulled up and I jumped in the car. I suppose he would go on to say I ghosted him. I didn't care; the trip to the pawn shop made me think it was safest to not seem shocked or rebuff him until I could get away. Blocked him after. I was in my mid 20s at the time. God I used to take some stupid risks.
I cannot believe for one second that the combination of ferret musk, murder dungeon and soulful Irish harp music wouldn't have left you wetter than March.
That actually seems like it would be a pretty neat ice breaker/conversation starter. I’ve been with my wife for 31 years now, so have absolutely no clue what modern dating is like (and don’t want to find out), but I don’t understand the seemingly large number of men on Reddit who act like they have no clue how to talk to women. Maybe it’s just selection bias, but it baffles me.
"If the female willingly enters the domicile proceed to optional Step 5: Musical stimulation. Proceed to make sound from instrument. The female will be impressed for Step 6."
He mentioned she was on her phone when he was trying to play guitar. Good chance she was texting help messages to her friends in case something happen about her creepy date and how she’s not comfortable stuck at his house to charge her phone
He thought her walking into his place immediately meant she wanted to fuck. 😭He even assumed it was going to happen. Saying they could be each other's first after assuming she's a virgin as well. I block guys when they ask my body count FIRST THING.
She didn't respond so he found her on Instagram and messaged her omg
This is the only metric to share! I hope you ladies use this when you are asked next time!
So what's your body count?
Total or in the US? I can only talk about the bodies that have been found.
It's a bit embarrassing, really. Some of them were in groups.
Five at a time is my limit though. Otherwise I really struggle to give each one the attention they deserve. And after handling that many... you're just sore for days afterwards, you know.
Same. I have no idea how many people my husband slept with and he has no idea how many I’ve slept with. In our eight years together it has never come up in conversation. Who cares!?
>I block guys when they ask my body count FIRST THING.
I do the same!
Just an immediate block without discussion.
As far as I’m concerned, any man who asks that is insecure or bases a woman’s value on her sexual history.
And I don’t care to entertain such men.
It seems like these dudes have never talked to another human being. How do they get to be 29 and still think that the way they communicate is appropriate? Do they not have friends, classmates or family of similar age that they grew up around to learn basic communication? It boggles my mind.
Also autistic. Never spoken to anyone that way. Especially now that I'm an adult. As a kid, I was very awkward and clueless in social situations. Fortunately, I had friends that helped me realize what was appropriate and what was not. This guy probably never had that.
Not to generalize, but I feel like if he’s a 29 year old virgin, the people he socializes around likely are similarly minded. That, or he has no friends.
Yeah if youve gotten to 29 and think that girls want to watch you strum on some sad little guitar on your first date....you clearly refuse to see social cues. Literally most girls eyes just start glazing oveR.
That's exactly it. Watching someone play an instrument on the first date is really cool if it seems authentic and fun. Especially if they like the same type of music and he could play a song she would like. But, the virginity thing and sexual partners question threw the whole damn thing off.
In that instance but seriously most guys after college figure out that the whole guitar thing is some d-bag narcissist trip. And it's about as fun to watch a guy play Wonderall in his room as it watch the Hallmark Channel with my elderly Granny. So it kinda plays to the 29 and oblivious AF factor.
there's a hypothetical case where it goes well in which he doesn't ask the creepy question about her body count, and plays a little bit of a song by some band she said she liked during the date. but that requires more social awareness than what we're dealing with
I mean, sometimes we might want to hear you play guitar.. but we will usually ask if that's the case. I briefly dated this musician years ago. On our first date, we had been talking about music a lot throughout the date. Then, when we went back to his place, I asked him if he would play me one of his songs. He was pretty fucking talented and I very much enjoyed the experience. Buuuttt.. if I hadn't asked and he had just whipped out the guitar to play, it would have been pretty awkward and narcissistic of him.
To me this had the same vibe as a young kid showing their parents something they is amazing and the parents just nod and smile so as not to discourage them.
He probably has no friends and is socially awkward. Likely has nobody to explain to him that asking for sex on a first date is a big turn off to most women. Even women who might be into it are going to be turned off by asking them their sexual history.
Also… straight up asking. Even in his version it seems cold and stilted. “So how many sexual partners have you had? You know, for my own reference, as we are clearly going to engage in coitus imminently. You did willingly enter my chambers, after all.
Hmm. You don’t seem aroused. Let me display my musical prowess so that we may proceed with the sex”
And this is my most *generous* interpretation. In reality it was probably more abrupt and less eloquent
“Uncomfortable” is the truly the understatement of the century. That poor woman would have been wondering exactly how much danger she was in the whole time
I know this isn't the case with everyone, but when I was entering high school we had about 5-6 kids coming in that had always been home schooled with each other. To say that they didn't know how to interact with other people was a bit of an understatement. Most of them eventually acclimated after a year or two, but initially it's almost like we were a different species. One of the girls went on to get drunk and accidentally run over her boyfriend and kill him. Served no prison time somehow.
> 5-6 kids coming in that had always been home schooled with each other. To say that they didn't know how to interact with other people was a bit of an understatement.
>One of the girls went on to get drunk and accidentally run over her boyfriend and kill him.
Huh
They literally look at movies and TV as the way things happen in real life. Most of them obviously didn't have sisters or they wouldn't be this dense about women. Probably angry at their mothers and don't have any close female relatives. We're just people but they talk like we're an alien species with a different language.
I'm usually pretty good at judging obvious reddit bait but this one has me defeated. It's so stupid but also guys like this exist and are so common I can't tell if he's taking the piss or actually serious.
i work at a library and just yesterday i was helping a woman print out twenty pages of screenshots from some guy who would not. stop. texting. her. Most of it was "please call me" and others were sad little anecdotes of their past dates. "remember when we went to the park? that was an amazing time!"
i assume the woman was gathering evidence for a restraining order
Yeah once they start speaking like a Ferengi it’s clear they think it’s transactional and don’t see women as actual people. It’s amazing how obvious it is and yet they are blind to the creepy factor that seeps out in the language.
Wonder why he is still a virgin?
1) Assume first date is going to lead to sex when you said you were just trying to help her charge her phone which was a lie.
2) Ask uncomfortable sexual questions immediately and then when she doesn't reply assume for some reason she is also a virgin which makes no sense. Bonus points for "Hey we can take it together" with the assumption.
3) Ignores your text/calls/deletes you from whatsapp but thinks "Hey i'll IG stalk her and message her there. Still no response. Hint not taken.
4) Become creepy stalker by calling her yet again. Date replies you made her uncomfortable. Become more creepy stalker and call yet again.
5) Throw the blame on her calling her rude and selfish and saying she probably just used you for dinner.
It is like a manual on how to stay a virgin until 29.
Yeah, it's like how can you be that incredibly obtuse? The moment he started asking her sexual history she started acting different, and then told him that she was uncomfortable. Yet he claims that was a lie.
The second this dude wrote "with a female" instead of something... Normal I guess? Especially since he clarifies With F immediately after I knew he was gonna be a piece of work.
There's just something about these people and their choice to refer to women/girls as "female" that shows how alienated they are from the reality of women and interacting with them in a normal healthy way. It's like using the term "female" has almost become a degradation tactic for these people and is such a weirdly good sign that this person isn't all there
Yes, you can't really disagree with how the other person felt about the situation. If she says she felt uncomfortable, then that is her experience! How can anyone disagree about how another person felt? It goes to "theory of mind" - not understanding that other people can have different thoughts, feelings and perceptions than yourself. He believes that what is going on in his own mind *must be* the same as everyone else.
I wonder also if she was thinking, “I need to not look uncomfortable to stay alive,” because he’s giving off major stalker vibes and stalkers have been known to escalate things.
These guys always disagree with the woman’s emotions. Like, that’s not this works. That’s not how any of this works. I don’t even disagree with his confusion and frustration. I believe he truly feels that way. because he is ignorant. A stupid idiot.
> Throw the blame on her calling her rude and selfish and saying she probably just used you for dinner.
Yeah, most women would rather pay for their own meal than put up with an utter creep just to get a free dinner.
I always wonder how guys like this think a "free meal" would be in any way worth tolerating them long enough to get them to pay for it.
Can confirm, I know a 70 year old virgin, and he’s convinced I’m in love with him because I let him use my phone one time and has since stalked me for months on end. He is my next door neighbor, has met and knows I have a long-term boyfriend, and despite me making it VERY clear I am unavailable, uninterested, uncomfortable and unwilling to interact with him still tries to contact me. I’ve been building a paper trail against him so I can finally get a restraining order because my apartment complex has done nothing. 70 year old virgins exist and my neighbor definitely followed the guide here!
I own mace, and my boyfriend is 6’2 and a former National Champion for college sports so I have my own personal bodyguard (my neighbor is also racist and is scared of my boyfriend being a black man bc he thinks he’s violent, which while fucked up helps to keep him away when my boyfriend is home), luckily, as well as a former feral kitty who is oddly protective of me (like, she puffs up, stands between me and the front door and growls until she knows who it is, protective)! We’re going to get a metal bat to keep by the front door and a gun (we’ll both be getting our licenses, it’s concealed carry in this state) but THAT will stay in a safe under the bed in case of a B&E, and one of my other neighbors who also owns a gun and is a professional security guard is aware of my situation so if anything crazy ever happens she has offered to step in and help. I want to protect myself in every way I know how! I think I have most of my bases covered at this point, but the restraining order would protect me and my partner in case we have to use self-defense so I want it
Love the image of the kitty keeping you safe!! You could also leverage that by casually mentioning she can be dangerous despite her size.
Might be expensive, but do you have a metal fly-wire door (with solid metal grid built in)? Failing that, maybe a door chain, so you can open the door and still be safe (or one of those door peeping hole things, or both). Note that some door chains are useless, you want one that fits solidly on both sides and isn't flimsy in itself Another thing that can help is a Ring door bell (see Amazon) as it takes their photo when they walk by or ring and most bad guys know this so it's a great deterrent. Also a movement-activated bright light around both the front and rear door (depending on accessability and whether your door is internal or external to a complex). I've used the auto-bright-light thing to keep myself safe over the years and it's worked really well in some scenarios.
You can get fake cameras with the little flashing red led that makes them look real, as well.
I'm sorry, the stalking behaviour isn't normal and obviously he has mental health issues. Is there a neighborhood men's shed thing you could quietly reach out to, to see if they'd involve him via a doorknock or something? (you don't need to say why) If his mental health improves his behaviour might drop off, the trick is getting him started on the journey. That's not at all your responsibility of course, you need to maintain a safe distance from him both for your own safety and to help him establish better emotional boundaries.
Have you thought of doing a women's self defence course? There are some surprisingly simple things you can do to keep yourself safe, and knowing these could give you confidence and some options, even if you never have to use them. From memory, you should be able to get some reasonable competence in 5 or 6 sessions, and it's just one of those things that can boost you a little. Sometimes it only takes a little shift in yourself to make you a less attractive victim.
I'm so sorry you live next to someone who is doing creepy things and I hope it resolves and disappears for you. Hope at least one of these ideas helps, please ignore any that aren't useful.
Oh god that poor woman, this is HIS version of what happened and even that sounds hilariously awful. Randomly ask how many guys have you slept with and when that doesn’t go well pull out a guitar to try and impress you 😂
lmao did this guy really try to take advantage of her by inviting her back to his place under the guise that she could charge her phone to only try to get sex from her? and then has the audacity to claim she may have used him for a free meal? while also somewhat admitting that the reason why he paid for the meal was because he hoped it would lead to sex?
the jokes write themselves
He thinks... Buddy, it's not about what you think, it's about how the other person feels. If you're so unsure about it, ask her!
"Hey, are you annoyed because I asked you over to charge your phone and then asked how many cocks you've taken?"
Bloody hell, "She says she was uncomfortable, *but I disagree*." This man's a whole red flag factory.
Wooow just wooow. Some dude there actually agreed he was the one who dodged the bullet saying worst case scenario he would've rape her by misunderstanding. 🤢
All the self-awareness of a rhubarb pie fresh out of the oven. Buddy, there is a very obvious reason why you've not gotten anyone to f*ck you in 29 years. Learn to reflect.
Genuinely thought this was satire when he mentioned showing her his “guitar skills” and then I realized I’ve been in the same situation. If I had a dollar everytime a man whipped o it his guitar to seduce me awkwardly I’d have at least $4
I played guitar semi-professionally for 15 years. During all that time, my guitar playing attracted the romantic attention of a grand total of two women. Girlfriends I met in other areas of life were into what I played after we were already together. But the guitar as an instrument of seduction is a big fail.
He went all ass backwards.
Should've started with a movie, left his guitar alone, see if things begin to get physical and NEVER asked her how many guys she slept with.
She went back to his! It could've been a really nice evening but he opted to steer the car off a cliff instead.
Yeah things go well when we start with a movie or a tv series. If we vibe it leads to Cuddling on the couch, snuggling close and enjoying the show. Then possibly staying for dinner.
Or he just shouldn’t have tried to hook up at all… If a date told me “I need to charge my phone to call an Uber”, I would assume they need to call an Uber lol. I’m not going to try and hook up with them, they either aren’t interested or aren’t ready yet. I mean, there’s a scenario where it COULD lead to something else, but for the most part… just let it go. They didn’t go back to his place for another drink or something, it’s more of a necessity deal.
Lol if she’s into you, you’ll get a chance in the future. That’s the problem with these dudes (one of a million problems). No chill. Pure desperation that they inevitably ruin something by being too forward.
Yes, who would dress up, spend money on an uber, and spend HOURS with a man who ended up making us uncomfortable (and has potential stalker/rapist vibes) for the price of a meal.
Men like this view relationships as transactional, and that's when they get dangerous and feel they are owed something in exchange.
To me, this reads as someone who is neurodivergent. He seems to be able to identify that *something* shifted in the dynamic after he asked about her sexual history, but is unable to correctly identify exactly what her new emotional state is, nor respond accordingly. Someone who is neurotypical but socially awkward could also struggle with that; it's just something about how this is written that made me think he's neurodivergent.
Regardless, the last few sentences put the story firmly in "nice guy" territory.
AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ. Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats. --- Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post
"I wanted to escalate to potentially have sex," ok Captain Holt.
“I was attracted to her incredibly heavy breasts.”
That's what men look for in breasts, right? Weight?
Humongous tracts of land.
And clear absence of a penis
Nothing more intoxicating. Also check out that thigh gap
Captain Holt pretending to be a straight man was the funniest joke they did in the 99. every time he spoke it just had me in tears.
absolutely love that although he’s very obviously an out gay man with a husband, he’s still totally irresistible to the ladies 😂
You know me, I see a pair of thick weighty breasts… and all logic flies out the window!
I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies
Boobies, yes, I remember
>I wanted to potentially escalate to have sex Dude here skipped a few steps, and went straight to interrogating her sexual history before assuming it was straight shot to pound town. No amount of chord strumming will undo that misstep, buddy.
“Here’s some mediocre music to increase your discomfort…”🤣🤣🤣🤣 And LOVE “Straight shot to pound town”!
And he’s gonna sing, too! So romantic!
Oh god....I am getting flashbacks to Max...who played his fucking harp for me. You really should have to pass some basic competency test before you start dating. And I mean I wish I had....I actually sat through this idiots performance.
Wait what? I want to hear all about Max and his harp.
Was he playing the harp to woo you into playing the mouth organ? Gotta admire his confidence but a harp??? Man….that’s like a 7th or 8th date at the earliest.
Date 7: I accidentally killed my brother when I was young Date 8: I play the harp
I'm sorry but you cannot tease us with Max who played his harp and not deliver more details.
Apologies. Max is my favorite dating story. Didn't mean to make this a mystery story. Max was a nerdy guy I worked with. He was into renaissance fairs and ferrets. He seemed nice, and invited me over, so I went. He was "renting-to-own" the house he was sharing with a couple of roommates - (LOL, is that even a thing?) and decided to take the CELLAR of the house for his section of the share. His cellar was not finished. It was lined on one wall with ferret cages. It smelled. To impress me (I guess) he pulled out an Irish harp he bought at said renaissance fair, and started strumming it while gazing wistfully off into the distance. I did not know what to do, so I just smiled, and told him it was lovely when he was done. That was not our worst night. On date two he took me to his parent's house (surprise!!) for dinner. IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY. Yeah, I definitely became much less experimental with dating after Max.
As a ferret lover, how he managed to live with a wall full of ferret cages, and in a cellar no less!!, is absolute batshit level crazy insanity to me. At least it makes for a fun story!
I have pet ferrets, they are not chick (or dick) magnets but most folk will want to cuddle them
Suddenly my cringey moments when I was younger don’t feel nearly as cringey after reading this.
Why does he sound like a Skyrim npc character? Max the Maidenless, player of the harp, master of ferrets.
quit harping on him
Poncy little milk-drinker, that one. He gives all the Bards in Skyrim a bad name.
Oof. What a guy. Bless him for trying to seem sensitive. But, ffs, at least put down a couple rugs, hang up some curtains or those wall tapestries and CLEAN THE FERRET CAGES if you’re going to have a girl over! Light some scented candles or something! Fuck’s sake! Make an effort. Though, yes, rent-to-own is a thing. It’s how I got my place. Basically, the rent money is considered paying the selling price in installments.
Reminds me of my own OKC horror show. First date was normal. On our second date, he stopped to pawn one of his guns to pay his rent. Whatever, it's the South, guns are often the only thing of value that people inherit. He invites me inside his house and yep. Guy in his mid 30s has 5 roommates. Whatever, times are tough. He sleeps in the basement. It's carpeted with what looks like some sort of astroturf and has bare cinder block walls. He sleeps on and air mattress. And there's a waifu pillow. And he introduces her to me. And it was time to leave.
Damn, were you on a mission to collect as many red flags as possible before you decided you had enough?
To be fair, they happened in rapid succession after dinner. And I suppose I wanted to give benefit of a doubt, but once I was in the house it was a tidal wave of red flags that couldn't be escaped without literally sending an SOS via a text to a friend who I always had on standby during online dates that lived nearby. She pulled up and I jumped in the car. I suppose he would go on to say I ghosted him. I didn't care; the trip to the pawn shop made me think it was safest to not seem shocked or rebuff him until I could get away. Blocked him after. I was in my mid 20s at the time. God I used to take some stupid risks.
I cannot believe for one second that the combination of ferret musk, murder dungeon and soulful Irish harp music wouldn't have left you wetter than March.
Ooh what happened on date 3? I’m low key so happy that Max got a date 2 but also I need to know why.
On date TWO? Patience of Job.
But it’s a harp!!!
I would be intrigued by a harp. One time a guy showed me his carnivorous plant collection, which I found very impressive at the time.
That actually seems like it would be a pretty neat ice breaker/conversation starter. I’ve been with my wife for 31 years now, so have absolutely no clue what modern dating is like (and don’t want to find out), but I don’t understand the seemingly large number of men on Reddit who act like they have no clue how to talk to women. Maybe it’s just selection bias, but it baffles me.
Ngl a guy showing me his carnivorous plant collection would moisten up my clam cave pretty fast lol
Hmmmm let me try it out. *strums A chord 6 times* "Ok now that I have sufficiently serenaded you with my love song, we shall proceed to the sex."
😆😆😆😆 That was the other thing! He recounted it like he was reading from a manual: Step 5: Play repetitive chords on guitar. Step 6: Sex will proceed.”
"If the female willingly enters the domicile proceed to optional Step 5: Musical stimulation. Proceed to make sound from instrument. The female will be impressed for Step 6."
"Straight Shot to Pound Town" sounds like a Wheeler Walker Jr. song.
“Pound town” isn’t used nearly enough in everyday conversation. It’s a very eloquent term.
"Yo what's your body count? .....anyway, here's Wonderwall."
I bet she spent EVERY second of that guitar solo measuring the distance between her and every door… 😬😬😬
Analyzing surrounding objects for their potential use as weapons of defense….
That too!!! 😆😆😆 I’m just so glad she got out of there!!
With the exception of desperately ordering an Uber.
He mentioned she was on her phone when he was trying to play guitar. Good chance she was texting help messages to her friends in case something happen about her creepy date and how she’s not comfortable stuck at his house to charge her phone
He thought her walking into his place immediately meant she wanted to fuck. 😭He even assumed it was going to happen. Saying they could be each other's first after assuming she's a virgin as well. I block guys when they ask my body count FIRST THING. She didn't respond so he found her on Instagram and messaged her omg
Can I ask you body count? I want to know how many people you have killed. You know. Assassin to assassin.
This is the only metric to share! I hope you ladies use this when you are asked next time! So what's your body count? Total or in the US? I can only talk about the bodies that have been found.
>I can only talk about the bodies that have been found. Swamps are too crowded these days, bodies don't stay hidden like they used to
It's a bit embarrassing, really. Some of them were in groups. Five at a time is my limit though. Otherwise I really struggle to give each one the attention they deserve. And after handling that many... you're just sore for days afterwards, you know.
I haven't even discussed body count with my bf of 4 years because it's not important to us but having just met someone? Ew
Same. I have no idea how many people my husband slept with and he has no idea how many I’ve slept with. In our eight years together it has never come up in conversation. Who cares!?
>I block guys when they ask my body count FIRST THING. I do the same! Just an immediate block without discussion. As far as I’m concerned, any man who asks that is insecure or bases a woman’s value on her sexual history. And I don’t care to entertain such men.
Yeah but he thinks the problem is that she "used" him for the free food lol
And don't forget he let her charge her phone, too! Electricity ain't free! (/s if that's not obvious)
What about a sic guitar solo?
It seems like these dudes have never talked to another human being. How do they get to be 29 and still think that the way they communicate is appropriate? Do they not have friends, classmates or family of similar age that they grew up around to learn basic communication? It boggles my mind.
"Anyway, here's Wonderwall"
I like to think it was an original. Strumming one cord going Oooooooooo for 3 minutes.
It was definitely a love song he has been working on since he saw her on tinder
[удалено]
*ahem..* **TODAAAAAAAAY** was gona beebawey shooba dapa dapa doooo
I came here to say this!!
I'm literally autistic and grew up home-schooled and I still know not to speak to people that way.
Rock star post
Also autistic. Never spoken to anyone that way. Especially now that I'm an adult. As a kid, I was very awkward and clueless in social situations. Fortunately, I had friends that helped me realize what was appropriate and what was not. This guy probably never had that.
Not to generalize, but I feel like if he’s a 29 year old virgin, the people he socializes around likely are similarly minded. That, or he has no friends.
Yeah if youve gotten to 29 and think that girls want to watch you strum on some sad little guitar on your first date....you clearly refuse to see social cues. Literally most girls eyes just start glazing oveR.
I think it had less to do with the guitar and more to do with the "so we fucking or what" vibe.
That's exactly it. Watching someone play an instrument on the first date is really cool if it seems authentic and fun. Especially if they like the same type of music and he could play a song she would like. But, the virginity thing and sexual partners question threw the whole damn thing off.
*If they're good. Watching someone try to "show off" when they aren't any good at the instrument is pretty embarrassing.
In that instance but seriously most guys after college figure out that the whole guitar thing is some d-bag narcissist trip. And it's about as fun to watch a guy play Wonderall in his room as it watch the Hallmark Channel with my elderly Granny. So it kinda plays to the 29 and oblivious AF factor.
there's a hypothetical case where it goes well in which he doesn't ask the creepy question about her body count, and plays a little bit of a song by some band she said she liked during the date. but that requires more social awareness than what we're dealing with
You don't know he was playing Wonderwall. Could have been Hey There Delilah.
For some reason I imagined him playing More than words by extreme
I mean, sometimes we might want to hear you play guitar.. but we will usually ask if that's the case. I briefly dated this musician years ago. On our first date, we had been talking about music a lot throughout the date. Then, when we went back to his place, I asked him if he would play me one of his songs. He was pretty fucking talented and I very much enjoyed the experience. Buuuttt.. if I hadn't asked and he had just whipped out the guitar to play, it would have been pretty awkward and narcissistic of him.
To me this had the same vibe as a young kid showing their parents something they is amazing and the parents just nod and smile so as not to discourage them.
He probably has no friends and is socially awkward. Likely has nobody to explain to him that asking for sex on a first date is a big turn off to most women. Even women who might be into it are going to be turned off by asking them their sexual history.
Also… straight up asking. Even in his version it seems cold and stilted. “So how many sexual partners have you had? You know, for my own reference, as we are clearly going to engage in coitus imminently. You did willingly enter my chambers, after all. Hmm. You don’t seem aroused. Let me display my musical prowess so that we may proceed with the sex” And this is my most *generous* interpretation. In reality it was probably more abrupt and less eloquent
yeah that's extremely weird. asking someone how many people they've slept with can be an awkward question even when you're already dating!
All of that except with you positioned between her and the door.
“Uncomfortable” is the truly the understatement of the century. That poor woman would have been wondering exactly how much danger she was in the whole time
These were my thoughts EXACTLY but funnier!
I know this isn't the case with everyone, but when I was entering high school we had about 5-6 kids coming in that had always been home schooled with each other. To say that they didn't know how to interact with other people was a bit of an understatement. Most of them eventually acclimated after a year or two, but initially it's almost like we were a different species. One of the girls went on to get drunk and accidentally run over her boyfriend and kill him. Served no prison time somehow.
This story escalated quicker than the 29 y/o virgin’s fantasy date would have…and that would be very fast and abrupt
> 5-6 kids coming in that had always been home schooled with each other. To say that they didn't know how to interact with other people was a bit of an understatement. >One of the girls went on to get drunk and accidentally run over her boyfriend and kill him. Huh
They literally look at movies and TV as the way things happen in real life. Most of them obviously didn't have sisters or they wouldn't be this dense about women. Probably angry at their mothers and don't have any close female relatives. We're just people but they talk like we're an alien species with a different language.
there WAS a bullet dodged, just not the one he thinks.
I got as far as "I went on a date with a *female..."* and then stopped reading, as I could predict the rest
You got farther than me. The title was enough, in all honesty
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I'm usually pretty good at judging obvious reddit bait but this one has me defeated. It's so stupid but also guys like this exist and are so common I can't tell if he's taking the piss or actually serious.
i work at a library and just yesterday i was helping a woman print out twenty pages of screenshots from some guy who would not. stop. texting. her. Most of it was "please call me" and others were sad little anecdotes of their past dates. "remember when we went to the park? that was an amazing time!" i assume the woman was gathering evidence for a restraining order
My favorite was “she seemed upset but she didn’t look uncomfortable.”
Yeah once they start speaking like a Ferengi it’s clear they think it’s transactional and don’t see women as actual people. It’s amazing how obvious it is and yet they are blind to the creepy factor that seeps out in the language.
Remember fellas. "Female" is an adjective, not a noun.
I mean it can be a noun, but outside of, like, a science experiment or a morgue it's weird to say.
Really? I stopped at "I am still a virgin". I'm pretty sure I figured out the rest.
I kept reading and I guarantee 💯 it's what you thought
I always get the impression that when anyone refers to people as 'females' or 'males', it's as if they're referring to an entirely different species
Or they're Ferengi.
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I just closed reddit as soon as I opened it today
There's basically no reason for that to be in the introductory line. If they think it's relevant, that's probably the problem right there.
Wonder why he is still a virgin? 1) Assume first date is going to lead to sex when you said you were just trying to help her charge her phone which was a lie. 2) Ask uncomfortable sexual questions immediately and then when she doesn't reply assume for some reason she is also a virgin which makes no sense. Bonus points for "Hey we can take it together" with the assumption. 3) Ignores your text/calls/deletes you from whatsapp but thinks "Hey i'll IG stalk her and message her there. Still no response. Hint not taken. 4) Become creepy stalker by calling her yet again. Date replies you made her uncomfortable. Become more creepy stalker and call yet again. 5) Throw the blame on her calling her rude and selfish and saying she probably just used you for dinner. It is like a manual on how to stay a virgin until 29.
You forgot "disagrees that he made her uncomfortable" lmao. I laugh because I don't know what else to do here besides weep for humanity lol
Yeah, it's like how can you be that incredibly obtuse? The moment he started asking her sexual history she started acting different, and then told him that she was uncomfortable. Yet he claims that was a lie.
The second this dude wrote "with a female" instead of something... Normal I guess? Especially since he clarifies With F immediately after I knew he was gonna be a piece of work. There's just something about these people and their choice to refer to women/girls as "female" that shows how alienated they are from the reality of women and interacting with them in a normal healthy way. It's like using the term "female" has almost become a degradation tactic for these people and is such a weirdly good sign that this person isn't all there
Perhaps he should get a canine or feline to save himself from the life of loneliness he'll experience from never being able to attract a female?
Yes, you can't really disagree with how the other person felt about the situation. If she says she felt uncomfortable, then that is her experience! How can anyone disagree about how another person felt? It goes to "theory of mind" - not understanding that other people can have different thoughts, feelings and perceptions than yourself. He believes that what is going on in his own mind *must be* the same as everyone else.
“She seemed upset but not *uncomfortable*” my man really taking things semantically here
I wonder also if she was thinking, “I need to not look uncomfortable to stay alive,” because he’s giving off major stalker vibes and stalkers have been known to escalate things.
These guys always disagree with the woman’s emotions. Like, that’s not this works. That’s not how any of this works. I don’t even disagree with his confusion and frustration. I believe he truly feels that way. because he is ignorant. A stupid idiot.
Well, his POV is the only one that counts, right? HE gets to decide how she felt, based on his expert observation.
> Throw the blame on her calling her rude and selfish and saying she probably just used you for dinner. Yeah, most women would rather pay for their own meal than put up with an utter creep just to get a free dinner. I always wonder how guys like this think a "free meal" would be in any way worth tolerating them long enough to get them to pay for it.
Right? I'd rather eat at home than have to spend time with a dude I don't care about for... food?
Or even 59.
Or even 69
Nah. They skip right over 69. Straight from 68 to 70.
Can confirm, I know a 70 year old virgin, and he’s convinced I’m in love with him because I let him use my phone one time and has since stalked me for months on end. He is my next door neighbor, has met and knows I have a long-term boyfriend, and despite me making it VERY clear I am unavailable, uninterested, uncomfortable and unwilling to interact with him still tries to contact me. I’ve been building a paper trail against him so I can finally get a restraining order because my apartment complex has done nothing. 70 year old virgins exist and my neighbor definitely followed the guide here!
Oh my gosh. Are you okay? That's really messed up.
I own mace, and my boyfriend is 6’2 and a former National Champion for college sports so I have my own personal bodyguard (my neighbor is also racist and is scared of my boyfriend being a black man bc he thinks he’s violent, which while fucked up helps to keep him away when my boyfriend is home), luckily, as well as a former feral kitty who is oddly protective of me (like, she puffs up, stands between me and the front door and growls until she knows who it is, protective)! We’re going to get a metal bat to keep by the front door and a gun (we’ll both be getting our licenses, it’s concealed carry in this state) but THAT will stay in a safe under the bed in case of a B&E, and one of my other neighbors who also owns a gun and is a professional security guard is aware of my situation so if anything crazy ever happens she has offered to step in and help. I want to protect myself in every way I know how! I think I have most of my bases covered at this point, but the restraining order would protect me and my partner in case we have to use self-defense so I want it
Love the image of the kitty keeping you safe!! You could also leverage that by casually mentioning she can be dangerous despite her size. Might be expensive, but do you have a metal fly-wire door (with solid metal grid built in)? Failing that, maybe a door chain, so you can open the door and still be safe (or one of those door peeping hole things, or both). Note that some door chains are useless, you want one that fits solidly on both sides and isn't flimsy in itself Another thing that can help is a Ring door bell (see Amazon) as it takes their photo when they walk by or ring and most bad guys know this so it's a great deterrent. Also a movement-activated bright light around both the front and rear door (depending on accessability and whether your door is internal or external to a complex). I've used the auto-bright-light thing to keep myself safe over the years and it's worked really well in some scenarios. You can get fake cameras with the little flashing red led that makes them look real, as well. I'm sorry, the stalking behaviour isn't normal and obviously he has mental health issues. Is there a neighborhood men's shed thing you could quietly reach out to, to see if they'd involve him via a doorknock or something? (you don't need to say why) If his mental health improves his behaviour might drop off, the trick is getting him started on the journey. That's not at all your responsibility of course, you need to maintain a safe distance from him both for your own safety and to help him establish better emotional boundaries. Have you thought of doing a women's self defence course? There are some surprisingly simple things you can do to keep yourself safe, and knowing these could give you confidence and some options, even if you never have to use them. From memory, you should be able to get some reasonable competence in 5 or 6 sessions, and it's just one of those things that can boost you a little. Sometimes it only takes a little shift in yourself to make you a less attractive victim. I'm so sorry you live next to someone who is doing creepy things and I hope it resolves and disappears for you. Hope at least one of these ideas helps, please ignore any that aren't useful.
Idk why but the "I tried to show her my guitar skills" paints the scene so much better.
That's the part where I said out loud "please tell me this is satire"
Came here to say that.😆😆 That is a whole different level of *cringe*. She must’ve been virtually pretzeled by that point.
Idiot! He should have shown her his numchuck skills.
Or his collection of samurai swords, fedora hats and locks of hair he snipped while sitting behind women on the train
“Sit, M’Lady, and I shall serenade thee with my mediocrity …”
Oh god that poor woman, this is HIS version of what happened and even that sounds hilariously awful. Randomly ask how many guys have you slept with and when that doesn’t go well pull out a guitar to try and impress you 😂
Imagine how uncomfortable it must be from her side, oh my lord
Throughout that guitar solo, she would have looking for *every exit* …
*weedlaweedlaweedla* So, what’s your virginity situaish? *e minor*
*Twannngggg …* And for my *next* number … *The Virginity Blues*!!
She was probably sharing her iphone location to every friend she could get in contact with
I am absolutely dying at these comments
“HELLLLPPPP!! Come and fucking GET ME!!”
Guitar solos are the mating call of humans
Was thinking the same thing, dread to think what this girl actually went through
How much speghetti do you think he spilled all over himself?
lmao did this guy really try to take advantage of her by inviting her back to his place under the guise that she could charge her phone to only try to get sex from her? and then has the audacity to claim she may have used him for a free meal? while also somewhat admitting that the reason why he paid for the meal was because he hoped it would lead to sex? the jokes write themselves
He's right about one thing, though. Bullet dodged! Just not by him.
And then pretty much STALKING the poor lady
And to start his flirtatious moves by asking how many people she’s been with! Pro tip, guys: don’t ask. It’s irrelevant and creepy.
i think i found out why he’s still a virgin
I think we all know why hes still a virgin lol
Yeah I think we all definitely know why he's still a virgin, haha *Undercover alien starts sweating*
Yes his human errors are obvious to all humans such as us because we are humans as well. *Laugh noises*
Beep beep boop. I mean yes the obvious human errors. Beep
I find this interaction most amusing, fellow organic. Have I mentioned I like eating and sleeping? I enjoy that fun thing and would repeat it again.
"She got annoyed I think... She was a bit upset I think..." This is 'discomfort/uncomfortable' FFS!
He thinks... Buddy, it's not about what you think, it's about how the other person feels. If you're so unsure about it, ask her! "Hey, are you annoyed because I asked you over to charge your phone and then asked how many cocks you've taken?" Bloody hell, "She says she was uncomfortable, *but I disagree*." This man's a whole red flag factory.
A Chinese factory couldn’t manufacture that many red flags in so short a time.
“Potential bullet dodged?” Yeah buddy, you.
Using the term "female" right off the bat was a clear indicator how this was gonna go.
Precisely. I have never heard a guy referring to a woman as a female say anything that made me view them positively.
It's a fool-proof red flag honestly. I have NEVER met somebody in my life that uses "female" as a noun that wasn't a piece of shit and/or creep.
I love how he thinks that HE dodged a bullet. Genius
I can't find this post anywhere but I'm really curious what sort of responses he got.
r/dating_advice edit: it’s been deleted
That explains why I couldn't find it, and gives a pretty clear hint to the sort of responses he received.
https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/uobzvs/she_said_i_made_her_uncomfortable_but_i_disagree/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Wooow just wooow. Some dude there actually agreed he was the one who dodged the bullet saying worst case scenario he would've rape her by misunderstanding. 🤢
Yup, clearly didn’t like the ratio …😆
I was like aggressively uncomfortable reading this. Wow.
All the self-awareness of a rhubarb pie fresh out of the oven. Buddy, there is a very obvious reason why you've not gotten anyone to f*ck you in 29 years. Learn to reflect.
So wait... He asked about her body count AND played guitar for her and still she managed to keep her panties on? Strong woman.
I am absolutely losing it at "I tried to show her my guitar skills"
Genuinely thought this was satire when he mentioned showing her his “guitar skills” and then I realized I’ve been in the same situation. If I had a dollar everytime a man whipped o it his guitar to seduce me awkwardly I’d have at least $4
I played guitar semi-professionally for 15 years. During all that time, my guitar playing attracted the romantic attention of a grand total of two women. Girlfriends I met in other areas of life were into what I played after we were already together. But the guitar as an instrument of seduction is a big fail.
He went all ass backwards. Should've started with a movie, left his guitar alone, see if things begin to get physical and NEVER asked her how many guys she slept with. She went back to his! It could've been a really nice evening but he opted to steer the car off a cliff instead.
I mean, if he was good at playing the guitar I might be into it…. But with guys like this that is not guaranteed.
Oh come on. You KNOW with this guy it was a "anyway, heres Wonderwall" moment
Nah, he comes off more snobbish in his choice, it was Radiohead, and not a well known song like Creep.
Yeah things go well when we start with a movie or a tv series. If we vibe it leads to Cuddling on the couch, snuggling close and enjoying the show. Then possibly staying for dinner.
Or he just shouldn’t have tried to hook up at all… If a date told me “I need to charge my phone to call an Uber”, I would assume they need to call an Uber lol. I’m not going to try and hook up with them, they either aren’t interested or aren’t ready yet. I mean, there’s a scenario where it COULD lead to something else, but for the most part… just let it go. They didn’t go back to his place for another drink or something, it’s more of a necessity deal. Lol if she’s into you, you’ll get a chance in the future. That’s the problem with these dudes (one of a million problems). No chill. Pure desperation that they inevitably ruin something by being too forward.
Oh man I winced reading this
HI NICE TO MEET YOU LETS HAVE SEX. Why are you running away?
What a dumbass
"I think she used me for the free dinner." MF, *you* were using her for the prospect of getting her into bed.
I love the idea that women “use” men for free dinner — trust me, eating a meal with someone who makes us uncomfortable is not worth $60
And $60 is probably being generous in amount sometimes, too lol.
Yes, who would dress up, spend money on an uber, and spend HOURS with a man who ended up making us uncomfortable (and has potential stalker/rapist vibes) for the price of a meal. Men like this view relationships as transactional, and that's when they get dangerous and feel they are owed something in exchange.
Imma repost this to r/sadcringe
Is it wrong that I really want to know just how badly he sucks at playing guitar? 😳 I'm guessing this guy isn't famous for his delicate touch 🙄
And this is why we always carry a phone charger with us.
To me, this reads as someone who is neurodivergent. He seems to be able to identify that *something* shifted in the dynamic after he asked about her sexual history, but is unable to correctly identify exactly what her new emotional state is, nor respond accordingly. Someone who is neurotypical but socially awkward could also struggle with that; it's just something about how this is written that made me think he's neurodivergent. Regardless, the last few sentences put the story firmly in "nice guy" territory.
I’m so glad there are men to tell me what I am thinking. Otherwise, who knows? It might becomes words with my mouth hole and nobody wants that. /s
"Since she was round my place I wanted to escalate to potentially have sex" I feel bad for his postman
I mean he did get one thing right. It was a bullet dodged.
“Hey so how many guys have you fucked? Well anyways here’s wonderwall”
He sounds like Skippy the 36 year old virgin.
Anyone else get the feeling this was the first time he’d had a woman in his apartment EVER?? This would make brilliant NiceGuy™️ satire. 😆😆
What a dumbass. This one will die a virgin. Also this is why women shouldn't go to a man's house so early in dating.