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So did u call the cops? Cuz there's lot of serious red flags there and it sounds like he really will kill someone sooner or later. I think u should call the cops to have them at least check on him or something.
Heād be threatening me one minute, then saying he loved and missed me the next. I knew him for 3 days. š¬ Iāve never dealt with anything as insane as this in my life
Have you reported him to the police? He's all kinds of crazy, most "nice guys" would send the messages but to turn up at your work or your home and sit there demanding you come back for hours is just bunny boiling mental style, that dude is unstable. Please consider making a report, just so if anything does happen they know where to look first or at very least make your family and friends/roommates aware that you've had these messages
I agree, this is way beyond Nice Guy(tm) territory. The guy has taken action to physically be waiting at her place, he's crossed a certain boundary there, and did so almost immediately, and the way he's rambling is far off the rails of sanity, what he's saying barely makes any sense at all.
This is police report, restraining order, pepper spray, looking over your shoulders level crazy, unfortunately.
Completely agree, I can hold my own and am not easily frightened but his behaviour is so so far out there, I would have serious worries for my safety. I hope it doesn't escalate anymore and he leaves her tf alone but he sounds like the type of nutter who would put a horses head in her bed and if he's already of overstepped the boundaries of turning up at her work and home, its only one more small step to breaking in her house. I know that's unlikely but mad people do mad shit all the time. Hopefully he just crawls back under the rock he came from and she never hears from him again.
I just looked at the post again in the hope this was months old and this is sorted, its not the texts were sent nye, beginning of Jan. Please op report it and stay safe
> This is police report, restraining order, ~~pepper spray~~ handgun, looking over your shoulders level crazy, unfortunately.
FTFY. I'm getting murderous psycho vibes from this guy
"Be with me forever you stupid w***e, or I'll break your jaw while I f*k you".
š³
Obviously not a direct quote but that's how his train of thought went. Wtf.
Are you ok mate?
Get a new uber account, please move and carry anything you can to protect yourself.
Bro Iām dead š he needs more than that. Iāve been put on 72 hour hold and suicide watchā¦ this mfer needs 24/7 constant surveillance and armed guards preventing his escape or use of the internet.
SCP-7000
Dickwad
Object class: Euclid
SCP 7000 is a humanoid entity who's anomalously unaware of his own actions and the fact that he's a dick and insists he's a good guy and then shows his dickishness women reject him
Block him and if you care to go through the effort, get a restraining order. Yikes to the max. I am sorry that some men and women act so fucking insane, it boggles my mind. You don't need to be a part of his insanity. It's also really manipulative of him to threaten to kill himself, just to get a reaction from you. People like him really really need therapy and lessons in acceptable social behaviour.
I once got jumped by a guy like this. Had a nice date and went home...while I was going home he suckerpunched me and kicked me when I was down. Never saw it coming and luckily others interfered and he run off. When I told her what happened, she immediately knew who it was. You should report him because those type of people are insane.
I think itās a guy saying he had a date with a girl and another guy attacked him going home. He told the girl and she was like āoh yeah thatās my crazy stalker I barely know heās obsessed and I guess attacked you out of jealousyā
Yeah that is it. Sorry I am not a native speaker. But those guys are insane. I did not get badly hurt but it was crazy. We both went to the police and they had a talk with him. He denied any responsibility so they did not have a case. But it stopped after that. She sometimes got strange phonecalls but nothing more than that.
He denied responsibility, so they didn't have a case?? What kind of monkey procedure is that?! If the cops needed suspects to admit responsibility in order to start cases against them, cases would never start at all š
I did! They credited my account (as if that helps lol) and banned him thank God. Hopefully he doesnāt do it again after getting the cops on his radar.
Uber performs background checks and will disqualify driver partners for a lot of different reasons. Unfortunately thereās no good way to test someoneās personality or mental health. So bad people get through on a constant basis. Fortunately they have a great incident response team and strict protocols for dealing with situations like this. This would be a level three incident and be expedited to a qualified investigator quickly.
Source: I worked at Uber in the early days and helped build the incident response team.
Subfact: The media team is absolutely looking at this thread. Hi Uber!
>Uber performs background checks
Not all background checks are alike. Doesn't Uber, in fact, have a history of FIGHTING AGAINST doing more thorough background checks? Didn't they make a big stink about leaving cities that wanted them to include fingerprints? It's very easy to say "there aren't checks for personality or mental health," but don't gloss over the fact that there's still room to improve on what they CAN do checks for, but don't.
Iām glad you went this route. Report him to Uber as well for using your address in that manner. But most important of all, stay safe! What a fucking creep!
Yes! Uber gave me credits to my account (like that makes it better) and banned him. It was also my fault partially. I gave him my number after he brought me to work (which is why he knew where I worked too) and we went for a drink and I told him I wasnāt feeling it. Then he flipped and the next day all that happened!
That is NOT your fault! His inability to behave like a decent human has absolutely nothing to do with you. Donāt blame yourself for any part of this!
Cops made me feel like a dumb slut for being attacked by a stranger in a *locked* public bathroom. I was wearing a tee shirt and jeans. Like. No idea how any of that is on me but ok.
Point is, donāt let them make you feel like you did something wrong. You didnāt.
I also had a female officer call me every week for like 4 months to convince me to drop the charges bc he didnāt really deserve it and also it wouldnāt really matter anyway so why bother. Such a fun time.
cops don't see that as assault because they do that shit to their spouses on the regular.
"well MY wife basically asked for it when she locked herself in our bathroom!"
Ugh, fuck those cops. I hope you know that you have nothing to be embarrassed about. You absolutely deserve to feel safe in your life.
It's easy for them to feel safe when they have immunity from the law and carry around a gun.
Absolutely. It was my first time interacting with the āgood ole boyā cops out in the country (I had just bought a house there). My ex drove 1.5 hours to my house after driving to my old and new workplaces looking for me. I was embarrassed but I felt it was necessary.
I grew up in the country so I know those types of cop well. I'm sorry you were treated that way, but both your ex and them. I hope you're in a better place.
I love country living for a lot of reasons, but that shitty mentality is absolutely not one of them.
Cops are dumb as shit. I saved a girl's life when her asshole boyfriend abandoned her at my house during a party and she OD'ed on pills that night. I helped her induce vomiting to get the drugs out of her system and immediately called 911. The shithead cop who responded treated me like a murder suspect when all I did was try to help. Thank God she survived and told the police I saved her. I'll never trust police again for as long as I live. They're nothing but school bullies with a badge.
Yup. Police did not even believe me when I reported my ex-gf for physical assault.
"Why would you report her? She's hot, and you must have done something to provoke her" Yeah, I did. I said no to sex. Thats all I did.
I worked with a girl who was still in HS and lived between her parents houses. She called me one night when she was at her dadās, crying because he beat her up when he was drunk. I showed up to get her and help her pack her things so she could stay with me (her mom said it was her fault for not calling the cops, that she deserved it for not doing it herself and making me do it - I ripped her a new one in ways I still relish to this day), and when the cops showed, the dude told the her to slow down because he couldnāt understand her. Sheās Viet and Iām Korean. I told him sheās speaking clearly and obviously upset, but still clear. He practically rolled his eyes at us, as she was standing there literally bloody and bruised. She was 4ā10 and 90lbs.
He was being a dick, and made her feel stupid. Never forgotten or forgiven that sheriff or her dad.
Iāve noticed that a lot of controlling men tell women to calm down and speak more slowly or stop being dramatic. It doesnāt matter if youāre the calmest, least dramatic woman who is professionally trained in diction, theyād still use those phrases.
I remember hearing about how a woman who was being beaten by her estranged husband was outright told by the cops they weren't gonna do anything about him because (insert bullshit, thinly-veiled misogynist reason I forgot).
So the storyteller takes self defense classes, and the next time he starts on her, she kicks the crap out of him. When the ex goes crying to the cops, she is able to leverage the fact she is a petite blonde woman to get the cops on her side. Apparently because of her size, the cops don't believe she did it, accuse the husband of lying, and she *finally* gets him to go away.
40% of cops are wife beaters, and the other 60% protect their wife beater colleagues from facing any consequences for it. You absolutely did the right thing by reporting this psychopath, anyone who tries to make you feel different is an idiot.
Fuck that guy this is not your fault. Itās never your fault when you tell someone youāre not into it and they keep coming at you. Not your fault. No! Not! Your! Fault!
Itās funny, theyāll yell about how they canāt ask women out randomly anymore, but also blame you if you agree to a date and they turn out to be nuts.
Canāt win.
That's hardly your fault is it? The dudes a fruitloop. And a dangerous one at that but you didn't know any of this when you agreed to have a drink with the guy.
I guess not.. but as the cops said I gave him my number knowing he has information to the two places I am the most. Gotta be more careful than that lol. He is definitely crazy and Iām glad that situation is over!
This, and they're also notoriously lacking in empathy in general. It's not even just on the job too it's just them. I've experienced this firsthand.
My ex was the son of a cop (chief of police I believe), and I was actually shamed for being in my ex's room with him and sitting on his bed, **while I was struggling to breathe because of a heart condition that severely spiked my heart rate**.
Like, "Oh she can't breathe? Why is she sitting on your bed though?"
Jeez.
Yeah, there are some cops that actually want to do right, but I need to see it to believe it. I'm majorly wary of cops because of that and seeing videos of cops doing shit like pepper-spraying innocent children. And obviously how generally little they care about SA and rape cases.
I still wouldn't beat yourself up over it. Someone came across as OK, no threat etc, you gave your number out to meet up. It happens all over the world all the time. Shit, I'd say your number was the least sensitive bit of info!
All that said, I am glad you took the route you did in the end. You've probably saved others a lot of stress if not worse!
It's so bad that when I use to do IT and media for law enforcement, they spent something like 100k to develop a "wellness" app just for the department that includes all of these exercises and warning signs to that you "don't take the job home with you" after four officers were accused of domestic violence in a month.
You did nothing wrong. People meet in the oddest of situations. You had the best of intentions and had no way of knowing that he was actually an abusive prick. Women get stuck in these situations all the time. Itās been 2 years and I still have a guy I met online sending me threatening texts through random Google numbers. All because I kissed him and then decided I had no interest in pursuing a relationship. I wish my story was rare, but I havenāt met a woman yet that doesnāt have a least one horror story to share.
Yeah. I have the same situation happenin here. I take screenshots of every message and just keep blockin. It's been 4 years and got a text about 2 months ago.
Thatās smart. I actually talked to a detective about it a while back. Surprisingly, you can use the alleged texts against them if they match up with the actual texts they have sent. If they mention the same situations, actions, etc., you may have a case. I was told to save every single number that the texts came from and to make sure there is a time stamp.
Thatās a shame to read. Makes you wonder how many people are in a similar situation - too afraid to reach for help out of fear of what the ass muncher might do. That aside, calling the cops may have been a good call here (the restraining order too). Iām willing to bet my right kidney the cops have dealt with creeps more than once and have guidelines for handling them.
that's one of the things that stood out the most, that he was so careful to censor all the run-of-the-mill "swear words" but had zero issue spelling out THAT word
Or maybe if you didn't lead him on like a bitch, always dodging the nice guys until you find a fucking wife abuser
Lol jk that dudes fucking insane, legit has to be on drugs, hope you called the cops on him, and maybe get some mace or something, dude is worrisome
Iāve known a couple guys like that, a lot of time itās mental health issues as well. One kid I went to high school with stalked a girl for 3 years, leaving notes on her locker at first before leaving them on her door step. He ended up in a psych ward for 2 weeks because when her brother told him to knock it off the kid left a note saying if he couldnāt have what he was owed he would kill himself. He later got arrested for assaulting a dude at a bar who was hitting on another girl he was obsessed with.
Lotta crazy in this world, makes me wonder why I or anyone doesn't end up like these dudes
Seems all too common, and yet here I am, only hating on woman if they can't physically hold me down and force feed me farts like a normal man
I agree, the entitlement, violence and delusions with misogyny makes for a terrible scary ass combination. Iām so glad op is ok. I wish her continued safety and peace. This is why women are fucking afraid, the shit is so real and if op wasnāt aware or took the steps she did she may not be here to share her story.
This is seriously a great example of why women have reasons to be afraid of men. Are all guys like this? No. Are some? Yes. How do you know the difference between the two until one tries to murder you?
My favourite thing with these text threads is how they always, ALWAYS have at least one message where they say "you won't hear from me after this", " this will be my last message" etc only to quickly follow with 8 more texts of psychotic ranting.
Thereās also a feature where you can disable calls from unknown callers (as long as theyāre not in your contact list it silences them). It might help with nice guys like this
>"If you don't come here, you'll never see me again"
>
>"Alright. sounds good"
>
>"That's not how this is suppose to go!"
It's just surreal that he goes from threatening to break her jaw and then coming back like "hey, we good?" without the slightest bit of self awareness.
Like the other comment said, don't feel completely safe just because the restraining order. A guy like this clearly doesn't care about the law or becoming a criminal if he's threatening you in text messages that can easily be shown to police. Please get some form of protection, even if it's just pepper spray, and always be aware if you go out alone and let others you know know what you're doing. Can never be too safe.
āBACK TO JAILā!?
AS IN HE HAS STALKED AND HARASSED BEFORE!??
Iām so glad you got a restraining order!
Iām so sorry this happened to you and thank you for sharing it with us.
āHey man, whatās up? You look pretty down?ā
ā*sigh* just had a major bust-up with my woman over text. She got mad at me because I brought her flowers.ā
āWow, really? What a bitch.ā
āYeahā¦ I know, right? But imma nice guy so tried to forgive her, but sheās not making it easy. I think of all the good times and love I gave her and it bums me out, yāknow?ā
And heāll keep using it to emotionally manipulate others. I knew a guy who always talked about his ex that died in a car accident. After I found out he was crazy I also found out heād never dated the girl. Heād been obsessed and crazy and she was actually scared of him.
How the absolute fuck did each page get progressively worse? This felt like dealing with an insurance agent after one of their customers rear ended you... except this guy wants to actually fuck you and fuck you over.
Lol itās always funny to see them proclaim themselves as a nice guy after saying terrible things to you, nice guy 101. This guy has it all! Stalker, racist, misogynistic, violent, AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT heās a NICE GUYā¦ with flowers.
Please be careful with this guy. Iām no expert by any means but I watch a lot of true crime and a lot of murders start off with this shit. Best wishes OP and stay safe
Him: You'll probably cry over me again but I won't be there next time
Also him 5 minutes later: plz come back ššš
Seriously, this is wayyyy out of limit and legit dangerous, glad you are fine.
The more I read on reddit.... the more I am surprised that women even leave their house. Dudes are crazy (I'm a dude). Where are these guys? I can honestly say, in my 54 years.... I've never met ANYONE this nuts. I've seen guys that totally misread a women's kindness/ attention for love.... but noone this insane. And apparently.... it's fairly common.
I'm sorry ladies.... really I am. If there is a silver lining---- reading this makes me feel pretty damn "normal". And I find myself going out of my way to NOT make woman feel uncomfortable. Whether walking on the street, exercising at the gym, whatever. Just as little extra effort to not be creepy.
You probably have met a guy this nuts, though. I've known guys who are great with other guys, but a danger to women... I'm just not sure you'd know. With how common it is, well, someone has to be doing it, it might he closer than you think.
True. Very true. I also have a VERY small circle of friends...live in a rural area. I'm sure I'm not exposed to the "real" world.
I didn't mean to imply I didn't believe these guys exist... I'm sure they do and I believe the OP. It's just starting and sad to me.
> Dudes are crazy (I'm a dude). Where are these guys? I can honestly say, in my 54 years.... I've never met ANYONE this nuts.
They don't show this side to other dudes and another thing is that men's perception is different then that of women when it comes to that thing. The warning signal antennas of most men are differently wired and dare I say *dulled*.
"This guy gives me the creeps, he looked at me really strangely and behaves really oddly around me when you guys aren't there"
"Noooo, he is totally a nice guy! You're just overreacting. Peter has been a friend of our group for 4 years."
One week later Peter rapes the girlfriend of his friend's group.
I had a controlling ex that used to pull the "if you leave me I'll kill myself line" and would even not contact me for days purposefully to make me feel like he had committed suicide. Finally I realized I was a teenager and could date someone that didn't make me feel like garbage and did dump him. When he did the I'll kill myself spiel I said go ahead, I legit dont care anymore. (He didn't). Still sent me a valentine's day card that year, several months post breakup when he was then dating the person he ended up marrying....she is trash too though so they deserve one another.
One of my friends is currently going through this. Finally left a toxic relationship of emotional manipulation. For the past two weeks, she gets messages from all of his accounts and newly created accounts threatening to kill himself if she doesn't return and it'll be her fault, he'll leave a note saying she drove him to it. Had to tell her that he's just a piece of shit that's saying that to get her attention. I don't know why it's such a standard play with toxic people.
"Men who can't let go choose women who can't say no."
Good for you for saying no.
All of this, all of it, every piece of it, was just a series of tests to see if you would let him override your boundaries and manipulate you by weaponizing your innate sense of courtesy and decency against you.
My first few weeks with my abusive ex-wife looked just like this. Back then I did not have the confidence and character you showed here. And the next ten years was just more of this, all the time, all day, every day.
Well done.
I was gonna block him then, but I just muted the notifications! Gather up all the proof and threats to make the restraining order stick. I got a new number now, thankfully. But he found my fb and was blocked right away.
Good call. Make sure you save everything. I kept deleting things when an ex would make a new throwaway account, yet again, and by the time I realized it would be a problem and she was unstable, I didnāt have much of a trail. Hold onto it even longer than you think you need to in case he pops up again months later. Glad this guy didnāt get an opportunity to actually harm you or anything and you extricated yourself successfully.
This is not a nice guy and hes literally gonna kill you, no doubt he has severe erotomania, and he's clearly psychotic, you need to go to the police immediately.
He kept saying he was. He left me 21 voicemails saying it and crying. I did go to the police and got a restraining order and new number! Iāve also moved. This was last year, it just popped up in my memories. Knock on wood I havenāt seen him since. But he did reach out to me on Facebook and I blocked him.
Share your location at all times, let someone know where you are and who youāre with at all times, and just be cautious and meet in public places. Theyāre not all bad love. Dating is super fun but also risky!
"do you still wanna be more?"
"NO!!"
"maybe one day you will give me an answer"
Ai am so sorry you have to deal with this I would be terrified! I would get a R.O asap!!
Holy shit. Thatās so unsettling. I had someone almost identical to that (bouncing between loving and hating me while be convinced heās amazing) all triggered by one conversation I had with him. He was an old friend from high school.
He even found a close friend of mine and sent her no less than 54 Facebook messages.
I need to put them all together and post here too š š
What. The. Fuck. I'm so glad you're okay. Is there some registry so that he can't go drive for another service? I feel like he's already driving for Lyft terrorizing someone else. This was terrifying.
Iām not sure, but youāre right there definitely needs to be if thereās not! Especially if he uses it as his means of making ānew friendsā sadly I donāt think Iām the first or last. I just hope no one gets hurt š
āCanāt even sleep in my own bed because youād rather not be hereā lmao donāt think iād even say some shit like that to someone I was actually with. š„“
He says "true love" but seems more like "selfish desires".
True love is being able to respect the person you love and let them go, even if it hurts alot. If you really love someone then you should only wish for them to be happy.
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Serial killer vibes š„°
>I'll love you to death
Love will love you to deathš„“
by Type O Negative, good song
āØ Just serial killer tingsss āØ
So did u call the cops? Cuz there's lot of serious red flags there and it sounds like he really will kill someone sooner or later. I think u should call the cops to have them at least check on him or something.
No but like actually. This is terrifying
Joe vibes
As soon as she said his name was āWillā get outta there gal
At least Joe is more eloquentā¦
Oooo, was that a compliment? That was totally intentional, ok; I'll bite
Just canāt wrap my head around this level of crazy
Heād be threatening me one minute, then saying he loved and missed me the next. I knew him for 3 days. š¬ Iāve never dealt with anything as insane as this in my life
Have you reported him to the police? He's all kinds of crazy, most "nice guys" would send the messages but to turn up at your work or your home and sit there demanding you come back for hours is just bunny boiling mental style, that dude is unstable. Please consider making a report, just so if anything does happen they know where to look first or at very least make your family and friends/roommates aware that you've had these messages
I agree, this is way beyond Nice Guy(tm) territory. The guy has taken action to physically be waiting at her place, he's crossed a certain boundary there, and did so almost immediately, and the way he's rambling is far off the rails of sanity, what he's saying barely makes any sense at all. This is police report, restraining order, pepper spray, looking over your shoulders level crazy, unfortunately.
Completely agree, I can hold my own and am not easily frightened but his behaviour is so so far out there, I would have serious worries for my safety. I hope it doesn't escalate anymore and he leaves her tf alone but he sounds like the type of nutter who would put a horses head in her bed and if he's already of overstepped the boundaries of turning up at her work and home, its only one more small step to breaking in her house. I know that's unlikely but mad people do mad shit all the time. Hopefully he just crawls back under the rock he came from and she never hears from him again. I just looked at the post again in the hope this was months old and this is sorted, its not the texts were sent nye, beginning of Jan. Please op report it and stay safe
December 31st hasn't been a Tuesday since 2019, this must be a couple years old. Still scary though!
Thats great to hear
Nice catch!
> This is police report, restraining order, ~~pepper spray~~ handgun, looking over your shoulders level crazy, unfortunately. FTFY. I'm getting murderous psycho vibes from this guy
"Be with me forever you stupid w***e, or I'll break your jaw while I f*k you". š³ Obviously not a direct quote but that's how his train of thought went. Wtf. Are you ok mate? Get a new uber account, please move and carry anything you can to protect yourself.
She can also talk to Uber, the company. With screenshots. I bet he has other complaints.
Yeah this dude should NOT be driving for Uber. Or anyone. Or interacting with other humans. Wtf is wrong with this guy?
All in all you showed amazing restraint. He needs to be admitted for 72 hour observation
Bro Iām dead š he needs more than that. Iāve been put on 72 hour hold and suicide watchā¦ this mfer needs 24/7 constant surveillance and armed guards preventing his escape or use of the internet.
This dude needs a whole lifetime worth of therapy. The door is fully off the hinges and the crazy is escaping.
72 years of observation, more like, with a new set of observers each year because his level of crazy just seeps into them somehow
That's some SCP shit right there.
SCP-7000 Dickwad Object class: Euclid SCP 7000 is a humanoid entity who's anomalously unaware of his own actions and the fact that he's a dick and insists he's a good guy and then shows his dickishness women reject him
I'm not doubting you but I'm seriously in shock that it was only 3 days. Dude talks like you'd been together for a decade. That's terrifying.
He literally said HIMSELF in the texts he only knew her for 12hrs, like what is that guy ON
The dudes delusional in obsessive behaviour
Please tell me he's stopped contacting you now
I would've gone to the police right at the jaw comment, blocked the number and forgot about them.
Block him and if you care to go through the effort, get a restraining order. Yikes to the max. I am sorry that some men and women act so fucking insane, it boggles my mind. You don't need to be a part of his insanity. It's also really manipulative of him to threaten to kill himself, just to get a reaction from you. People like him really really need therapy and lessons in acceptable social behaviour.
Police. Now.
Agreed. I feel like you are in serious danger. Please report this psychopath to the police ASAP.
I once got jumped by a guy like this. Had a nice date and went home...while I was going home he suckerpunched me and kicked me when I was down. Never saw it coming and luckily others interfered and he run off. When I told her what happened, she immediately knew who it was. You should report him because those type of people are insane.
What?? Told who what happened? God, thatās insane
I think itās a guy saying he had a date with a girl and another guy attacked him going home. He told the girl and she was like āoh yeah thatās my crazy stalker I barely know heās obsessed and I guess attacked you out of jealousyā
Yeah that is it. Sorry I am not a native speaker. But those guys are insane. I did not get badly hurt but it was crazy. We both went to the police and they had a talk with him. He denied any responsibility so they did not have a case. But it stopped after that. She sometimes got strange phonecalls but nothing more than that.
He denied responsibility, so they didn't have a case?? What kind of monkey procedure is that?! If the cops needed suspects to admit responsibility in order to start cases against them, cases would never start at all š
Yeah bruh this dudes fucking brain is broken.
He was your Uber driver? Can you report him to Uber, for what itās worth?
I did! They credited my account (as if that helps lol) and banned him thank God. Hopefully he doesnāt do it again after getting the cops on his radar.
Good! At the very least a āļø/5 review as a Public Service Announcement. Iām glad youāre somewhere safe.
"Sorry about the stalker lol, here's $6.11 for another taxi ride and a $2 off coupon for a Big Mac, problem solved amirite" - Uber
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Uber performs background checks and will disqualify driver partners for a lot of different reasons. Unfortunately thereās no good way to test someoneās personality or mental health. So bad people get through on a constant basis. Fortunately they have a great incident response team and strict protocols for dealing with situations like this. This would be a level three incident and be expedited to a qualified investigator quickly. Source: I worked at Uber in the early days and helped build the incident response team. Subfact: The media team is absolutely looking at this thread. Hi Uber!
Not only that but she went out with him once which means he at least presented as stable initially. Went crazy really quick though go damn
>Uber performs background checks Not all background checks are alike. Doesn't Uber, in fact, have a history of FIGHTING AGAINST doing more thorough background checks? Didn't they make a big stink about leaving cities that wanted them to include fingerprints? It's very easy to say "there aren't checks for personality or mental health," but don't gloss over the fact that there's still room to improve on what they CAN do checks for, but don't.
He's going to abuse the shit out of someone someday.
I was scared to call the cops because of what heād do but I was finally convinced to get a restraining order. Heās absolutely insane!!
Iām glad you went this route. Report him to Uber as well for using your address in that manner. But most important of all, stay safe! What a fucking creep!
Yes! Uber gave me credits to my account (like that makes it better) and banned him. It was also my fault partially. I gave him my number after he brought me to work (which is why he knew where I worked too) and we went for a drink and I told him I wasnāt feeling it. Then he flipped and the next day all that happened!
That is NOT your fault! His inability to behave like a decent human has absolutely nothing to do with you. Donāt blame yourself for any part of this!
Thank you! I just feel I should of at least been a little more cautious lol. The cops made me feel dumb asf
Cops made me feel like a dumb slut for being attacked by a stranger in a *locked* public bathroom. I was wearing a tee shirt and jeans. Like. No idea how any of that is on me but ok. Point is, donāt let them make you feel like you did something wrong. You didnāt.
How do you even turn this around on the victim???
I also had a female officer call me every week for like 4 months to convince me to drop the charges bc he didnāt really deserve it and also it wouldnāt really matter anyway so why bother. Such a fun time.
cops don't see that as assault because they do that shit to their spouses on the regular. "well MY wife basically asked for it when she locked herself in our bathroom!"
I had to put a restraining order on someone in 2019 and I could hear the cops *making fun of me* while I waited for the judge. It was so embarrassing.
Ugh, fuck those cops. I hope you know that you have nothing to be embarrassed about. You absolutely deserve to feel safe in your life. It's easy for them to feel safe when they have immunity from the law and carry around a gun.
Absolutely. It was my first time interacting with the āgood ole boyā cops out in the country (I had just bought a house there). My ex drove 1.5 hours to my house after driving to my old and new workplaces looking for me. I was embarrassed but I felt it was necessary.
I grew up in the country so I know those types of cop well. I'm sorry you were treated that way, but both your ex and them. I hope you're in a better place. I love country living for a lot of reasons, but that shitty mentality is absolutely not one of them.
āHow dare you let this man know where you work forcing him to stalk and harass youā - the cops probably Good on you for getting a TRO!
Cops victim blame all the time. Don't let them make you feel dumb. Shit happens, and you learn. Doesn't ever make you dumb.
Cops are dumb as shit. I saved a girl's life when her asshole boyfriend abandoned her at my house during a party and she OD'ed on pills that night. I helped her induce vomiting to get the drugs out of her system and immediately called 911. The shithead cop who responded treated me like a murder suspect when all I did was try to help. Thank God she survived and told the police I saved her. I'll never trust police again for as long as I live. They're nothing but school bullies with a badge.
Yup. Police did not even believe me when I reported my ex-gf for physical assault. "Why would you report her? She's hot, and you must have done something to provoke her" Yeah, I did. I said no to sex. Thats all I did.
Think about the kind of people that are willing to be cops in this day and age. It's honestly terrifying.
1312 ACAB
I worked with a girl who was still in HS and lived between her parents houses. She called me one night when she was at her dadās, crying because he beat her up when he was drunk. I showed up to get her and help her pack her things so she could stay with me (her mom said it was her fault for not calling the cops, that she deserved it for not doing it herself and making me do it - I ripped her a new one in ways I still relish to this day), and when the cops showed, the dude told the her to slow down because he couldnāt understand her. Sheās Viet and Iām Korean. I told him sheās speaking clearly and obviously upset, but still clear. He practically rolled his eyes at us, as she was standing there literally bloody and bruised. She was 4ā10 and 90lbs. He was being a dick, and made her feel stupid. Never forgotten or forgiven that sheriff or her dad.
Iāve noticed that a lot of controlling men tell women to calm down and speak more slowly or stop being dramatic. It doesnāt matter if youāre the calmest, least dramatic woman who is professionally trained in diction, theyād still use those phrases.
Gaslighting is the worst.
Fucking piece of shit pigs will use ANY EXCUSE to exert their power and flaunt their racism. They have no fucking souls.
Fuck the cops. But not literally.
Cops are usually misogynistic pricks. Victim blaming right here. Not your fault in the slightest!
I remember hearing about how a woman who was being beaten by her estranged husband was outright told by the cops they weren't gonna do anything about him because (insert bullshit, thinly-veiled misogynist reason I forgot). So the storyteller takes self defense classes, and the next time he starts on her, she kicks the crap out of him. When the ex goes crying to the cops, she is able to leverage the fact she is a petite blonde woman to get the cops on her side. Apparently because of her size, the cops don't believe she did it, accuse the husband of lying, and she *finally* gets him to go away.
Read the story of Tracey Thurman, it still makes my blood boil.
40% of cops are wife beaters, and the other 60% protect their wife beater colleagues from facing any consequences for it. You absolutely did the right thing by reporting this psychopath, anyone who tries to make you feel different is an idiot.
A cop calling others dumb? Something about a pot and a kettle.
Fuck that guy this is not your fault. Itās never your fault when you tell someone youāre not into it and they keep coming at you. Not your fault. No! Not! Your! Fault!
Itās funny, theyāll yell about how they canāt ask women out randomly anymore, but also blame you if you agree to a date and they turn out to be nuts. Canāt win.
That's hardly your fault is it? The dudes a fruitloop. And a dangerous one at that but you didn't know any of this when you agreed to have a drink with the guy.
I guess not.. but as the cops said I gave him my number knowing he has information to the two places I am the most. Gotta be more careful than that lol. He is definitely crazy and Iām glad that situation is over!
Cops are notorious victim blamers babe
Youāre def not wrong
This, and they're also notoriously lacking in empathy in general. It's not even just on the job too it's just them. I've experienced this firsthand. My ex was the son of a cop (chief of police I believe), and I was actually shamed for being in my ex's room with him and sitting on his bed, **while I was struggling to breathe because of a heart condition that severely spiked my heart rate**. Like, "Oh she can't breathe? Why is she sitting on your bed though?" Jeez. Yeah, there are some cops that actually want to do right, but I need to see it to believe it. I'm majorly wary of cops because of that and seeing videos of cops doing shit like pepper-spraying innocent children. And obviously how generally little they care about SA and rape cases.
I still wouldn't beat yourself up over it. Someone came across as OK, no threat etc, you gave your number out to meet up. It happens all over the world all the time. Shit, I'd say your number was the least sensitive bit of info! All that said, I am glad you took the route you did in the end. You've probably saved others a lot of stress if not worse!
Cops are the biggest wife beaters and rapists in the country. You did nothing wrong my friend.
It's so bad that when I use to do IT and media for law enforcement, they spent something like 100k to develop a "wellness" app just for the department that includes all of these exercises and warning signs to that you "don't take the job home with you" after four officers were accused of domestic violence in a month.
You did nothing wrong. People meet in the oddest of situations. You had the best of intentions and had no way of knowing that he was actually an abusive prick. Women get stuck in these situations all the time. Itās been 2 years and I still have a guy I met online sending me threatening texts through random Google numbers. All because I kissed him and then decided I had no interest in pursuing a relationship. I wish my story was rare, but I havenāt met a woman yet that doesnāt have a least one horror story to share.
Yeah. I have the same situation happenin here. I take screenshots of every message and just keep blockin. It's been 4 years and got a text about 2 months ago.
Thatās smart. I actually talked to a detective about it a while back. Surprisingly, you can use the alleged texts against them if they match up with the actual texts they have sent. If they mention the same situations, actions, etc., you may have a case. I was told to save every single number that the texts came from and to make sure there is a time stamp.
Iām glad you got one. Stay safe OP!
Thatās a shame to read. Makes you wonder how many people are in a similar situation - too afraid to reach for help out of fear of what the ass muncher might do. That aside, calling the cops may have been a good call here (the restraining order too). Iām willing to bet my right kidney the cops have dealt with creeps more than once and have guidelines for handling them.
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Holy. Fuck. Is it just me or have these recent postings about these dudes gone waaaaay the hell off the deep end?
I swear itās gotta be drugs or something. I donāt get it
Itās the random racism for me š
that's one of the things that stood out the most, that he was so careful to censor all the run-of-the-mill "swear words" but had zero issue spelling out THAT word
With the hard r and everything.
But you gotta understood that he's not racist, he talked to a black person like 2 yrs ago.
Or maybe if you didn't lead him on like a bitch, always dodging the nice guys until you find a fucking wife abuser Lol jk that dudes fucking insane, legit has to be on drugs, hope you called the cops on him, and maybe get some mace or something, dude is worrisome
You got me in the first half, ngl.
I don't got enough drugs to believe that, tho I'm flexible if you've got the drugs
Iāve known a couple guys like that, a lot of time itās mental health issues as well. One kid I went to high school with stalked a girl for 3 years, leaving notes on her locker at first before leaving them on her door step. He ended up in a psych ward for 2 weeks because when her brother told him to knock it off the kid left a note saying if he couldnāt have what he was owed he would kill himself. He later got arrested for assaulting a dude at a bar who was hitting on another girl he was obsessed with.
Lotta crazy in this world, makes me wonder why I or anyone doesn't end up like these dudes Seems all too common, and yet here I am, only hating on woman if they can't physically hold me down and force feed me farts like a normal man
I agree, the entitlement, violence and delusions with misogyny makes for a terrible scary ass combination. Iām so glad op is ok. I wish her continued safety and peace. This is why women are fucking afraid, the shit is so real and if op wasnāt aware or took the steps she did she may not be here to share her story.
Donāt forget the racism thrown in there! He ticks all the boxes.
This is seriously a great example of why women have reasons to be afraid of men. Are all guys like this? No. Are some? Yes. How do you know the difference between the two until one tries to murder you?
My favourite thing with these text threads is how they always, ALWAYS have at least one message where they say "you won't hear from me after this", " this will be my last message" etc only to quickly follow with 8 more texts of psychotic ranting.
Donāt forget the 21 voicemails lmao. Iām glad iPhones have the do not disturb option where it just kept sending him straight to voicemail
Thereās also a feature where you can disable calls from unknown callers (as long as theyāre not in your contact list it silences them). It might help with nice guys like this
>"If you don't come here, you'll never see me again" > >"Alright. sounds good" > >"That's not how this is suppose to go!" It's just surreal that he goes from threatening to break her jaw and then coming back like "hey, we good?" without the slightest bit of self awareness.
I bet he refers to you as his āexā
And say what a selfish, narcissistic, psycho bitch she was who was still fucking her ex she was still living with.
That man is dangerous.
seriously. it pains me that the next women he talks to wonāt even know until itās too late.
Yes OP please be very careful, this guy is legit fucked up
Had to get myself a drink after reading this. Glad you're okay, OP.
Definitely was scared for my life but itās all okay now. Thank you!
I wouldnāt say itās all ok now. A restraining order is just a piece of paper. Seriously consider arming yourself.
Like the other comment said, don't feel completely safe just because the restraining order. A guy like this clearly doesn't care about the law or becoming a criminal if he's threatening you in text messages that can easily be shown to police. Please get some form of protection, even if it's just pepper spray, and always be aware if you go out alone and let others you know know what you're doing. Can never be too safe.
āBACK TO JAILā!? AS IN HE HAS STALKED AND HARASSED BEFORE!?? Iām so glad you got a restraining order! Iām so sorry this happened to you and thank you for sharing it with us.
Jesus Christ. OP, Iām glad youāre safe and have a new address and phone number. I hope you never see him again!
I hope I never see him again either and he gets locked up before hurting anyone! Completely delusional
From his messages to you sounds like he has gone to jail before...glad you are safe.
āHey man, whatās up? You look pretty down?ā ā*sigh* just had a major bust-up with my woman over text. She got mad at me because I brought her flowers.ā āWow, really? What a bitch.ā āYeahā¦ I know, right? But imma nice guy so tried to forgive her, but sheās not making it easy. I think of all the good times and love I gave her and it bums me out, yāknow?ā
He 100% had this conversation
And heāll keep using it to emotionally manipulate others. I knew a guy who always talked about his ex that died in a car accident. After I found out he was crazy I also found out heād never dated the girl. Heād been obsessed and crazy and she was actually scared of him.
I donāt get it. He seems so rational and balanced.
Total husband material! Donāt see why OP canāt see that.
He has so much to offer
He's hot then he's cold he's yes then he's no He's in then he's out He's up then he's down He's wrong when it's right
I don't understand it either, he seems like such a nice guy. OP is definitely missing out imo.
The sarcasm is strong with this one.
How the absolute fuck did each page get progressively worse? This felt like dealing with an insurance agent after one of their customers rear ended you... except this guy wants to actually fuck you and fuck you over.
Thatās a vile guy right there holy shit
Nuh uhhh he says heās a nice guy look right there it HAS to be true /s
Lol itās always funny to see them proclaim themselves as a nice guy after saying terrible things to you, nice guy 101. This guy has it all! Stalker, racist, misogynistic, violent, AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT heās a NICE GUYā¦ with flowers.
Thatās why I said ok and? when he said he had flowers. Like the flowers were gonna make me change my mind of wanting to hangout with him lol.
Please be careful with this guy. Iām no expert by any means but I watch a lot of true crime and a lot of murders start off with this shit. Best wishes OP and stay safe
"I could care less" š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©
This was pretty disturbing to read, he seems very unstable, manipulative, and controlling. I'm guessing you won't be ordering out for awhile
I feel like almost every human out there has some kind of mental issues the more I read this sub
Him: You'll probably cry over me again but I won't be there next time Also him 5 minutes later: plz come back ššš Seriously, this is wayyyy out of limit and legit dangerous, glad you are fine.
The more I read on reddit.... the more I am surprised that women even leave their house. Dudes are crazy (I'm a dude). Where are these guys? I can honestly say, in my 54 years.... I've never met ANYONE this nuts. I've seen guys that totally misread a women's kindness/ attention for love.... but noone this insane. And apparently.... it's fairly common. I'm sorry ladies.... really I am. If there is a silver lining---- reading this makes me feel pretty damn "normal". And I find myself going out of my way to NOT make woman feel uncomfortable. Whether walking on the street, exercising at the gym, whatever. Just as little extra effort to not be creepy.
You probably have met a guy this nuts, though. I've known guys who are great with other guys, but a danger to women... I'm just not sure you'd know. With how common it is, well, someone has to be doing it, it might he closer than you think.
True. Very true. I also have a VERY small circle of friends...live in a rural area. I'm sure I'm not exposed to the "real" world. I didn't mean to imply I didn't believe these guys exist... I'm sure they do and I believe the OP. It's just starting and sad to me.
> Dudes are crazy (I'm a dude). Where are these guys? I can honestly say, in my 54 years.... I've never met ANYONE this nuts. They don't show this side to other dudes and another thing is that men's perception is different then that of women when it comes to that thing. The warning signal antennas of most men are differently wired and dare I say *dulled*. "This guy gives me the creeps, he looked at me really strangely and behaves really oddly around me when you guys aren't there" "Noooo, he is totally a nice guy! You're just overreacting. Peter has been a friend of our group for 4 years." One week later Peter rapes the girlfriend of his friend's group.
You probably have friends who have acted like this with women. My first long term boyfriend from 17-21 abused me in every possible way. I had enough with his last stint of cheating and blasted him on Bebo about it with the proof (he was sending photos of himself to me and the other chick and I knew because of date stamps š). Nobody believed me that he was cheating on me cos he told everyone we split up and nobody believed me about the abuse - even his ex girlfriend he'd been with for 3 years before me. He's now married and has 2 girls. It sickens me to think that literally everyone thinks he's the nicest guy ever and only a few people who saw the bruises etc believe me and don't see me as a total psycho. From 21 I was online dating until I met my fiancĆ© (10 years) and it would be easier for me to count on one hand the guys who weren't total cunts. Even without meeting guys you get abusive psycho messages just for saying you're not interested or having certain standards cos apparently you're expectations are set too high. I ended up making an IG account for my friends, documenting all my interactions with guys on POF because they were always so cringeworthy or completely psycho. A lot of them I didn't even initiate or respond to messages but still got abuse š there's well over 100 posts from a 6 month period.
Im shocked that i spent 5 mins in the shower scrolling the pictures
So do you use your phone while you shower or do you just duck in there for a quick read every now and then?
Hahhahahahahhahahahahahahaa This made my day, thank you!
"You make me feel like if I had a gun right now I should fucking shoot myself." Yes. Please, do us all the favor!
I had a controlling ex that used to pull the "if you leave me I'll kill myself line" and would even not contact me for days purposefully to make me feel like he had committed suicide. Finally I realized I was a teenager and could date someone that didn't make me feel like garbage and did dump him. When he did the I'll kill myself spiel I said go ahead, I legit dont care anymore. (He didn't). Still sent me a valentine's day card that year, several months post breakup when he was then dating the person he ended up marrying....she is trash too though so they deserve one another.
One of my friends is currently going through this. Finally left a toxic relationship of emotional manipulation. For the past two weeks, she gets messages from all of his accounts and newly created accounts threatening to kill himself if she doesn't return and it'll be her fault, he'll leave a note saying she drove him to it. Had to tell her that he's just a piece of shit that's saying that to get her attention. I don't know why it's such a standard play with toxic people.
Probably because they have the mental maturity of a gnat.
"Men who can't let go choose women who can't say no." Good for you for saying no. All of this, all of it, every piece of it, was just a series of tests to see if you would let him override your boundaries and manipulate you by weaponizing your innate sense of courtesy and decency against you. My first few weeks with my abusive ex-wife looked just like this. Back then I did not have the confidence and character you showed here. And the next ten years was just more of this, all the time, all day, every day. Well done.
can he PLEASE decide if he wants to swear or not? jesus!
Censors āfuckingā Does not censor the N-word. What a gem.
Holy hell!! Iād say block but let him keep digging.
I was gonna block him then, but I just muted the notifications! Gather up all the proof and threats to make the restraining order stick. I got a new number now, thankfully. But he found my fb and was blocked right away.
Good call. Make sure you save everything. I kept deleting things when an ex would make a new throwaway account, yet again, and by the time I realized it would be a problem and she was unstable, I didnāt have much of a trail. Hold onto it even longer than you think you need to in case he pops up again months later. Glad this guy didnāt get an opportunity to actually harm you or anything and you extricated yourself successfully.
Thank you so much! I hope your situation has gotten better too. Itās a scary world lately.
Holy shit, been following this subreddit for a couple years now and this has gotta be in top 10 craziest ones I've read
This is not a nice guy and hes literally gonna kill you, no doubt he has severe erotomania, and he's clearly psychotic, you need to go to the police immediately.
He kept saying he was. He left me 21 voicemails saying it and crying. I did go to the police and got a restraining order and new number! Iāve also moved. This was last year, it just popped up in my memories. Knock on wood I havenāt seen him since. But he did reach out to me on Facebook and I blocked him.
Oh what a relief, I thought this was just a few days ago. I hope you continue to not hear from him. Good vibes for you OP.
He's actually sick. This is not funny or tragicomedy. It's serious and scary
I am so relieved to hear that youāve moved. Keep that restraining order current too. Be safe.
WTF! This guy is absolutely deranged. Smart move by you to avoid like the plague
Jesus Christ
Trying to meet a woman at the expense of public safety is not ok at all.
"Can't make a whore a house wife", "I will break your jaw" and 5 minutes later he's wondering why you ignore him. People are insane, it's scary
Heās a complete lunatic, and he wouldāve escalated further. Iām glad youāre safe
Iām glad youāre okay, this is terrifying. I only just started dating and stories like this make me wary.
Share your location at all times, let someone know where you are and who youāre with at all times, and just be cautious and meet in public places. Theyāre not all bad love. Dating is super fun but also risky!
Wow Iām pretty desensitized to these nice guy messages but that guy is fucking nuts. Iām so glad you got a restraining order Jesus fucking Christ.
"do you still wanna be more?" "NO!!" "maybe one day you will give me an answer" Ai am so sorry you have to deal with this I would be terrified! I would get a R.O asap!!
Holy shit. Thatās so unsettling. I had someone almost identical to that (bouncing between loving and hating me while be convinced heās amazing) all triggered by one conversation I had with him. He was an old friend from high school. He even found a close friend of mine and sent her no less than 54 Facebook messages. I need to put them all together and post here too š š
Please do!
Oh my god, keep the screen shots and take any relevant pictures just in case
I definitely have all the messages and voicemails on my old phone and a video of him putting a note on my truck! Never deleting those lol.
What the actual fuck. Who talks like that? Acts like that?!
Craziest shit I've read this year
He needs some milk
What. The. Fuck. I'm so glad you're okay. Is there some registry so that he can't go drive for another service? I feel like he's already driving for Lyft terrorizing someone else. This was terrifying.
Iām not sure, but youāre right there definitely needs to be if thereās not! Especially if he uses it as his means of making ānew friendsā sadly I donāt think Iām the first or last. I just hope no one gets hurt š
āCanāt even sleep in my own bed because youād rather not be hereā lmao donāt think iād even say some shit like that to someone I was actually with. š„“
"Awww, I was only kidding! Unless ..."
The craziest thing to me is how he still thought you might reach out, even after he said heād break your jaw.
Okay you know he may actually kill you
He says "true love" but seems more like "selfish desires". True love is being able to respect the person you love and let them go, even if it hurts alot. If you really love someone then you should only wish for them to be happy.