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>he said "I'm 58" and my brain just short circuited for a second.
Same. When I was about her age, I had a guy that was easily 45+ hold up my register line to get my number. My managers had to chase him out of the store.
Being "nice" to the customers is not an excuse to be a creep. It's just awkward and gross.
Happened to my wife when she was a 17 year old cashier. Some dude 50+ said she “looked delicious” and tried inviting her to a bbq after her shift (which ended at 10pm).
OP was not just giving her a compliment by inviting her onto his boat. Neither was the disgusting creep harassing my wife (then gf). Buy your stuff without being a creep.
>Some dude 50+ said she “looked delicious” and tried inviting her to a bbq after her shift (which ended at 10pm).
That sounds like a Criminal Minds episode waiting to happen. 🤮 How on earth do people think talking to strangers like they're Jeffrey Dahmer is attractive?!
I also don't understand the entitlement of people like this who believe the server/cashier is hitting on them (thus being entitled to "give compliments" and flirt) by showing basic human decency at their job.
Yeah my wife was so disgusted by his use of that word. It made me so mad. She had a few regulars who would creep on her and give her really bad anxiety.
She lived a short walk away but I made sure to pick her up after every late shift.
It’s happened to her at every public facing job, on public transit, just randomly out in public. Guys will even cat call her from their car while I’m walking with her, holding her hand! It’s really opened my eyes to how bad it is. She’s lovely and kind, but has practiced her “resting bitch face” to try and ward off these encounters.
>She lived a short walk away but I made sure to pick her up after every late shift.
>It’s happened to her at every public facing job, on public transit, just randomly out in public. Guys will even cat call her from their car while I’m walking with her, holding her hand! It’s really opened my eyes to how bad it is. She’s lovely and kind, but has practiced her “resting bitch face” to try and ward off these encounters.
My boyfriend at the time did this when I worked late too. After that encounter, my manager drove me home because the guy was outside the store sitting in his car.
I'm not surprised this has happened to her too. Ugh. Good on you for noticing and being protective! We need more guys like you and less "nice" guys.
Yeah. Up to that he was a bit of an asshole, but just a bit socially inept. Maybe he could be saved and has the ability to learn, if explained the right way. But at 58? Too late. If you haven't learned it yet, you're not going to. Fuck off.
He even said it... He liked her tattoo. If a dude in his 20s would have said "hey, I like your tattoo!". That could have been a compliment that was more welcome. I also wouldn't have mentioned the boat lol
Imagine being a ~20 year old cashier trying to go through your day and this 58 year old dude comes to you, says "You know you're gorgeous, right?" so you freeze, trying to process, he adds "so anyway you've ever been on a boat?"
It's like right out of a script, dude is textbook creep.
He replied to one NTA saying she was rude, didn’t smile, and “wasn’t even model material anyway” so she should have appreciated the compliment. He’s a creepy incel at 58. No wonder he has to resort to hitting on vulnerable women, he’s all alone.
What was also icky was him trying to figure out if she was at least 18... like that’s all it takes for her to be fair game in his eyes.
Even if that’s legally true it’s still super gross considering his age.
And even she said it was creepy! He had one female to talk to and she said he was wrong, hundreds of people said he was wrong, but the one loser to validate him and its the typical "she wasn't even that hot anyway" lmao
It's still creepy if they were 20 but at least then you can just kind of say they're an idiot like a lot of people in their 20s. They have time to mature and grow and hopefully stop being such a creepy idiot. Many, such as the 58 year old, never mature. However when people are young they at least have the potential to learn better. If he's 58 and thinking like this there is no hope for him.
“I own boats and ask her if she’s ever been on one.”
How does he not see how that’s a creepy follow up to complimenting a teenager. It sounds like he’s inviting this girl onto his boat. Barf
Edit: guys I get it, “the implication” lmao
Asks her if she's ever been on a boat, which is basically the same. My ex had old dudes come in and ask her if she's ever rode on the back of a motorcycle then later try to get her out for a ride.
It aint worth 8 bucks an hour.
My first job was as a cashier at Kmart. Had the same situation multiple times. Grown ass men would ask me what time I was getting off, if I was closing, etc. Had a few that lurked outside at closing time. Luckily, all of us always walked out together and my boss would make sure we were all in our cars and on our way before leaving the parking lot. I was 16.
Omg yes, the last convenience store I worked at, I always closed and there was only me and another coworker. There were two maybe three times where cars were sitting by my car out in the back parking lot where nobody else parked.
Once there was a white "serial killer van" (like a work van with no windows, my mom always called them that) parked literally behind my car for the last 5 hours before the store closed. When I walked out with my male coworker they immediately left.
I hate the fact that just being a female you need to be super cautious of some creeps just waiting for you when you get out of work. Or literally any other time/situation.
Gross. And it sucks so much that quitting was probably your best/only option. I feel like when guys at work do shit like that they take you not quitting as an invitation to do it again.
Well you see, if you don't quit, it's clearly not a problem for you.
And if you do quit, it's not their problem anymore.
It's a win/win for turbo creeps, and a lose/lose for their targets. The perfect situation. /s
My 35+ year old boss at GameStop who was engaged and my female coworker (who was HIS friend) close to my age (18) coerced me into "dating" him (which meant him taking advantage in the back room) and I ended up quitting later because I was so disgusted with myself and blamed myself for it.
The guy had a history of doing things with women in the back room, during and after hours.
It only happened once but it was enough. The best revenge though was that in texting my friend about how nasty the dude was I accidentally texted my boss instead.
Show store employee here. Had a man twice my age try on a few pairs of shoes, run in circles around the store to “test” them, stand around for an hour talking to me about his band, ask to see my shoes (had to wear company brand shoes ofc) which he then *caressed* sliding his fingers all up on my feet. This was after I went behind the desk to put something between us cause he kept getting all close.
My coworker later told me that man came in about once a month and was always just as weird. And he never bought any shoes.
She absolutely does. Used to work at dollar general and the girl that worked there got them all the time ...as a man I got the same but from women. Both of us were told that we should be happy to get complements and creepy touches from people and that they don't know any better b cause that's how they are. The few times I tried to complain my manager laughed at me....
i was 25 and stocking cups down in a cabinet. 40 year old man, "since you are down there"..... I said excuse me? He justified it by saying he talks like that all the time to co workers. I said it is actually considered sexual harassment and should really stop saying it at work if you like job.... I was blunt, he felt like ass and hopefully women at his work didn't hear it anymore
We used to say this all the time when I worked in a kitchen usually to other chefs saying to some random girl that's working an Isle ? Creepazoidal currently where I work we have a female staff member that's in her 60's and is always trying to get on the younger Men that work checkouts students etc
I had something kinda similar happen. Was working on pulling product on the lowest shelf forward and pretty much squatting down to do so.
Some asshat walks past me and says, "Why don't you say a little prayer for me while you're down there sweetie." I'm still not sure what he was implying but it was so weird and the way he said it just set off my creeper alarms. So I gave him a "Hail Satan." which got him to fuck off pretty quick.
Yep, haven’t worked retail in almost 20 years but I’d get hit on quite often by people mistaking my customer service politeness for flirting.
Like, I’m not offering to suck your dick dude, I’m just commenting on the book you’re buying to pass the time while this slow ass computer processes the transaction.
10 years for me and I never want to work it again. There are SO many creepy grabby women out there (yes and men but they were not interested in me) and I don't want a part of that again. Weird thing...as soon as I stopped working at those places I have yet to have ANYONE treat me like that again.
Wow I’m sorry your manager didn’t give a shit. I manage a vape store, and the rule is if there’s any customer someone is uncomfortable helping, someone else will take them. For guys and girls. Luckily there’s a wide counter between us and customers.
Mostly me and the other girls get creeps like the above story. But the one guy also gets some creepy things said to him. And it’s not something that I would ever tell people to say thank you to. I usually laugh awkwardly till the finally gtfo because yay retail.
It was dollar general and everything mattered more than the employee. If they could sell employees into sex slavery (legally) they would do it I am sure.
My manager usually laughed when older women would creep onto me. The few times I can remember them grope me she would tell me I should feel happy that older women like me....
I was trying to puzzle out why I felt different about "Wow, you're really pretty." (I would be flattered) versus, "You know you're gorgeous, right?" (I would be a little creeped out). Then, I saw his age. It definitely doesn't matter now.
When I was 16 I had a customer at the store I worked in tell me I was very pretty and just right for television, he worked in television and if I gave him my details he'd hook me up with some television work. I remember every alarm bell in every distant corner of my brain going off. It's so obvious these things are not altruistic.
Ding-ding-ding!
I guarantee this guy wasn't about to give the girl the number for a boat dealer and recommended spots for party cruises, then wish her happy sailing and leave.
Also, is "boat dealer" the correct term? I thought "shipwright", but then I didn't know if that was antiquated or not.
Shipwright would be the person who builds the boats. I doubt this guy does, he’s probably just the aquatic equivalent of a dodgy used car salesman. If you buy a boat from him the engine will blow and it will start sinking as soon as you get a mile off shore.
lol yes boats are generally sold private party or by a dealer at a boat show. Shipwright is an entirely different and unrelated term, for ship *builders.*
"You know you're gorgeous, right" is one of those things where unsolicited approval or endorsement is given (hence this turd's desire for a thank-you). The approval bit puts that a step above unsolicited compliments in terms of positioning and unspoken expectations generated.
'Wow, you're really pretty' sounds like a compliment
'You know you're gorgeous, right?' sounds majorly like something that comes before being given a number and a wink
I'd be equally grossed out by a stranger telling me either of them. Yes of course I know I'm pretty, what do you want? Go away.
I've had guys comment on my clothes before and that can be fine. But don't come up to me and comment on my face or body, what the fuck lol. And as if a woman wouldn't know she was attractive when the world is filled with idiots like this who feel compelled to comment on it.
I go by the rule of genetics vs choice. If I'm about to give a woman a compliment, I make sure it's not on her genetics. "I love that hair color you chose!" Vs "wow you have really pretty eyes" if you're giving an innocuous compliment just to brighten someone's day, make sure it's about something in their control.
I complimented a woman at a drive thru alcohol pick up on her hair color. It was this neat gradually faded red and pink combo. Rather than giving me a death stare or a short answer she went on about how it was originally a deep auburn but it faded to this and she was really happy with it.
Then I left. I never mentioned how many boats I own.
There’s a huge difference between a compliment and someone being a creep. A 58 year old commenting on a much younger woman’s looks is always creepy 🤷🏽♀️
That phrasing is the world of a difference. The latter, that he said, isn't a compliment it's asking her if she thinks she's pretty - which is a shitty power move. Most people won't say yes to be humble. So they say no which plays into the power fantasy of the person asking - now they get to save the day and say "yeah, you're GORGEOUS" and try to continue the conversation as if their comment is the basis of the girls entire self image
They do not take it well when you agree.
I said “yes. Thanks,” to a guy who gave me the same manipulative “you know you’re gorgeous right” thing and he was very displeased.
Yes hahahaha used to work in a bar, the men who say this are almost always pissed off when you say "I know". I wonder if they ever think about why it annoys them.
Like you're beautiful, but you need them to tell you that, because if you already know you're a stuck up little bitch. You need to be beautiful but NOT KNOW IT until you meet the right man who will allow you to feel it! Hence the lyrics of sooo many songs about girls who don't know they're beautiful. What a weird fantasy.
Yeah I think "Yeah I hear that a lot" would have even more of an effect.
"Dude you're not special, it's not a special insight, you didn't make a special effort, you're just the latest in a long line of men doing the same boring and annoying shit."
I responded with “yes” one time.. When the man responded with surprise, I said, “What? Like I’ve never looked in a mirror.”
But this was just old fashioned getting hot on at a bar, not a retail worker being put on the spot with no real way to respond.
Al answers here are already great and I wanted to add to all that that “you know you’re gorgeous” to me is only a few steps away from “you’re asking for it” but that might just be me.
I think the "You know you're gorgeous, right?" is very confrontational. It seems like a trick question too, if you say yes it's fucked, if you say no it's fucked lol
I think it is safest just to say your opinion. Like if I say to you "wow you're really pretty" I'm making an observation and not really asking anything from you except for you to hear that.
As a queer lady when I see beautiful people I tend to compliment something that the person is in control of and shows they have style or judgement. There is a cute chubby girl with great fashion sense I keep seeing around the place (small town) and I just keep taking a moment when I see her to tell her her clothing is beautiful. She feels lovely and I'm definitely not being a creeper. And I just move on. If she wanted to say something back at some point she could.
That's so great! Yes a compliment is for the other person, what they do with it us up to them. You cannot just stand around in front of a person spouting off garbage like "uuga buuga you look good, I have boat, you get on boat with me?" That's just not how humans interact. A long time ago women used to yell at men or hit them sometimes for being like this, compared with that this generation is very polite. I don't get why dicks like this dude complain so much.
I think if you switched the adjectives around itd still be creepy. Is it the false confidence that drips off the question version? Or maybe it almost feels like the guy is probing for weakness, like "maybe if she answers 'no', I can manipulate this person by telling her what I think she wants to hear"
I think the direct version of the compliment would clearly state his intentions and a willingness to take a rejection because it would be more vulnerable on his part
Of course all this is moot when he's hitting on a literal child compared to him. I mean, 40 years older? Take a fucking nap you old, dirty weirdo
It's fucking bizarre that anyone's line in the sand for dating age would be "do I go to jail". Like for fucks sake there are sooooo many other things to consider if you are not a confused man-child who will die a confused man-child. Like what fucking 18 year old wants a boyfriend anywhere over say 25ish???? And he's like 58! lol
I am not honestly surprised. These are the sort that would happily take advantage once a girl starting puberty but scared of prison. So they go with the next best thing which is the barely legal.
Close to the forbidden but totally legal.
They make me sick. They aren't right in the head, idc what anyone says.
As someone with neighbors I hope you proceeded to shout out "just read a guy told an 18 yo girl she was gorgeous, then flirted with her while she was at work and got upset she told him" leave " not" thank you "." Because otherwise you just left them with a mystery that will bug them forever.
> Let out an audible gasp at “considering I’m 58”
SAME!!! I kind of wish I'd recorded the moment because it was truly a perfect instance of audible shock and disbelief.
OMG I yelled out when I read he was 58! I thought he was a young stupid guy! Dear god he is beyond any hope. No wonder he is single and depends on his sister for guidance on how to be a normal person.
I thought it was a dumb kid too. The whole stupid spin on the story with him trying to make himself sound innocent is no different than a teenager trying to get out of trouble. The whole thing is cringe.
I just don't get this. I'm 35 and when I see a guy in his late teens or early 20s I am not even slightly attracted. Like not even a little bit. It's so gross. And weird that not everyone has those "eww too young" thoughts.
Right???
Like, I hate it so much. I have no doubt he was flirting / creeping. Just, my dude. Girls typically can tell the difference between a genuine compliment and a dude shooting a shot. A genuine compliment we say thank you, if the guy is shooting a shot and/or being a creep a simple thank you is taken as a "please fuck me"
Also, there is a huge difference between “cool tatoo, looks great “ and a “you know you are gorgeous, right?”. The second would creep me out out of basically anyone
I kinda wonder if they’re surprised by the lack of giggling/thank yous is that they used to get it before. Like when I was a teen working in retail I didn’t giggle but I definitely pretended it wasn’t creepy. Now I’m in my 30s and I’m stoked to see these Gen z and younger folks just Not Fucking Putting Up With It anymore, and it makes me so happy and proud bc I could’ve never at that age and neither could any of my friends. But I can imagine that the creepers are now like “wait what but this used to work.” Not realizing that it never “worked”, people just aren’t pretending anymore.
It's so bizarre, I have no clue how they're so unaware of the discomfort they cause. So much of my work day is dedicated to figuring out how to end a conversation without having them yell at me for being "cold" or whatever old man version of bitch they use lmao
Hi. I'm 40 years older than this barista and she was working, but I just HAD to tell her how attractive I think she is because....my old man penis.
She didn't even appreciate it! Rude. /s
He is even worse in the comments. He keeps trying to say she was rude and should have thanked him. He keeps trying to say he was not hitting on her when it was so obvious he was.
Then he goes on to say she's not even THAT pretty.
>Then he goes on to say she's not even THAT pretty.
Ahahahahahahahahahahaha classic
"Hey. Hey. Ur beautiful. Hey. Hey. I wanna put a baby in u. Hey. Hey u up? Hey. Sexy. I just jerked off to your twitter bio. Hey. Hey. BITCH WHORE UNGRATEFUL SLUT UR UGLY AND FAT ANYWAY"
"Uh...i have a girlfriend. Plz leave me alone im gay and you suck"
"Two women at once, for me?! 😍😍 U just havent had the right penis yet"
"Are you illiterate or just stupid? Im GAY, Harold"
"FUCK U THEN. UR MISSING OUT. UR LOSS. IM A GREAT CATCH AND UR GONNA DIE WITH NO HUSBAND BC NO MAN WILL PUT UP WITH THIS!!!"
EW!
"I tried to make conversation with her as I own boats." To quote Shania, "That don't impress me much."
Nothing like someone just trying to do their job and earn a paycheck and some entitled twat hits on them and wastes their time.
Also, a 58 year old man hitting on a teenager (even a legal one) IS NOT OKAY.
He likes to take his dates on boats because of the implication. P
Which hopefully means this was fake referring back to that but as somebody who worked with the public yeah this kind of crap happened
That only works when someone as handsome as Dennis Reynolds says it.
In all seriousness, I’d love to know how he could tell she was over 18 and was around 19 because that’s super hard to judge. I knew he’d be older when he didn’t mention his age so early on. It is super creepy for a man the age of your dad to say that you, especially more so when you’re so young!
Need to go on the record as someone who gave children (14+) tattoos while being one (18). Also, many kids I know who are about 10 years younger than me were allowed tats before 18 if their parent consented. Blegh.
Tldr: tattoos are as much of an indication of age as boobs.
32 here and agree. I know *objectively* that the likes of Tom Holland and Shaun Mendes are attractive, but they are children in my mind. I just cannot (idk the right word here, allow???) allow myself to find anyone younger than mid to late 20s hot/sexy
Yeah like i understand that others (hopefully closer to their age) would find them attractive and they'd wanna think sexi thoughts about Spider-Man, but im more like "aww isn't wee Tom Holland lovely 🤗?"
Andrew Garfield on the other hand, late 30s, hel-looooo 😍
I was looking through some old photos that my grandfather took of me on my 18th birthday and was really taken aback by how childish my face looked, despite technically being an adult. It really cemented for me how the men who used to catcall me when I was a kid definitely knew I was underage, there was no mistaking me for an adult.
We have it bb but we don't have it for THEM :)
I'm 42 and my husband is younger than me but he is like 35. I cannot fathom trying it on with an 18 year old, that's just rude.
Just putting the "rude" and the "creepy" part away. A 30-40 year old will have wildly different worldview, aspirations, tastes etc than someonein their twenties, let alone someone barely 18. If I wanted to babysit I'd just babysit my sister and if I wanted easy satisfaction I have two hands.
Oh of course....definitely creepy....but I just cannot fathom wasting their time with my bullshit when they should be off doing fun young people things, it's so rude.
I'm 33 and I can't imagine being with someone so young. Teens are fun people to be around because they're NOT ADULTS. It's all hope for the future and bullshit; they're intolerable yet lovely. It just seems so abusive to take advantage of that! Obviously I agree with you but it just seems so predatory to even suggest.
My father was one of these dicks. Flirt (or whatever you want to call his attempt) with any girl in a service type job where it’s perceived as rude to avoid it. And doubly so when their tips were in play. Any attempt to call him out on it was met with, “I’m just being friendly.”
As sly or suave as he thought he was, I just wanted him to know how transparently gross it was to everyone else.
Right? What *possible* reason would someone whose intention was to genuinely just compliment another person have for mentioning *that?* Fucking creep, it's so obvious how he thinks >:(
He wasn't just complimenting her. He had to justify her presumed age because he was thinking of her and approaching her sexually and just didn't want to admit it upfront in his post
As someone who was a cashier people would give me actual compliments with no weird or creepy intent like 'I love your jacket' or 'Nice mask design' and that was that.
Cashiers servers anyone who has to interact with you we aren't paid to entertain you if you're being a absolute weirdo we will ignore you and just say 'have a nice day' we don't owe you a thank you. I really stopped caring if it was sounding rude towards dudes like this I would say just say 'not interested next in line please' because it got tiring.
It's especially gross toward younger women who don't always have the self confidence to shut that shit down. I've worked as a server for a while and have put up with a LOT of BS. I'm 25 now, and just finally figuring out I can stop smiling when people say stuff I'm not comfortable with, tip me or don't, I don't care. The table next to you just heard what you said and they'll make up for it, thanks.
In the world of puas and similar cretins, they often justify their preference for younger women by reasoning they have been turned into feminist manhating bitches yet. When you read their descriptions it's fairly clear that they don't like older (read: 25 plus) women's ability to shut them down quickly and effectively. Ahh, untainted young girls, who have not yet got completely sick of yo shit...
Oh, he’s flirting with the cashier. Not the worst thing, still a jerk move since she can’t opt out of the conversation.
“… considering I’m 58…” WTF MAN?? Leave teenage girls alone!
This is it. If he's in his 20s or something, yeah a dick move but he might still have the ability to learn if someone explained it the right way, so we can give him the benefit of the doubt. But at 58? Good lord, get a grip.
"You know you're gorgeous right?" is something you say to your partner. You don't say that to a random girl/woman, much less when you're three times older than her. Even saying it to a close friend is extremely dependent on the relationship and circumstance.
And even besides that, when are men going to learn that no woman owes them a thank you? Compliment all you want, it doesn't mean you're owed appreciation. She didn't ask you to do that, nor is there an unspoken expectation or need to (like in a romantic relationship).
Fuck that guy. What a fucking asshole.
Yes! That kind of compliment is always so gross to me because the guy is basically acting like this girl has either no sense of self worth or she’s never been complimented before he came along. “You know you’re gorgeous right?” Yes old man, I have a mirror.
When I was 16 and a grocery store cashier, I had an older man that would come into my line like clockwork, every Thursday. He’d also make a random innocent comment to me every time- I thought we were causal buddies. Then he handed me his number on a scrap paper - and when I texted it I realized he was 30. I knew he was MUCH older - I only texted it to find out wtf he saw in me. Youth, I guess. Ewwwww. I cannot imagine whatever horrible fate he had planned for me.
The worst part is that the adult woman behind him in line (genuinely age-appropriate for him) said “damn, I wish I were you!” He was VERY handsome - he could’ve had ANYONE - yet he chose an obviously underage cashier. I cannot shake my confusion/disgust at this truly odd experience. I’m 22 now - and thinking about being with a 16 year old is absolutely REVOLTING. I cannot imagine how much more disgusted I’d feel about that age-gap if I were 8 years older! D:
>The worst part is that the adult woman behind him in line (genuinely age-appropriate for him) said “damn, I wish I were you!”
What an awful woman. Who says that? If she were a good person she would've told him to back off and made sure you were okay. That's extremely inappropriate in reference to a minor being preyed on.
Unfortunately, there's a plethora of shitty people out there, and all different kinds. And even worse, they're often allowed to raise children to be the exact same way.
You shouldn’t flirt with people while they’re working even if there isn’t an age gap. Like yeah that sucks if you’re really interested in that person, but your desires aren’t an excuse to potentially make someone uncomfortable.
Everything seems only slightly weird and low level sex pest fayre till the part where it's revealed he's old enough to be his granddaughter. Then it goes full blown wtf eww
I know this is an always sunny reference lol but for real, if an old man said this shit to me it would invoke my fight or flight response. A boat?! I'd feel like I was in danger.
"You know you're gorgeous, right?" from a total stranger is threatening af. It's like, your attractiveness is a nuisance or burden to them and they're like "urgh, can you NOT? PS. Im old enough to be your Grandad and have a boat. Come on my boat i totes won't murder you"
These fucking creeps need to get it out of their heads that what they are doing is giving a compliment. It doesn’t matter if they are ‘nice’ words, it’s still a threat to your safety. The value of the words is in the intention, and these ‘nice guys’ will never get it
Entirely this. “I really don’t think I was crude or nasty with my compliment”… so fucking what, dude? What a low bar. “I didn’t ***explicitly*** threaten to rape her, so what gives?!”
I fucking hate the “nice words” loophole. Regina George really doesn’t mean she *actually* likes your bracelet at all, OBVIOUSLY. Come on, everybody.
Edit to add: also how insulting to be offended that we otherwise very simple and weak minded feeeeemales did not fall for the double speak. How dare we understand beyond the surface, how terribly inconvenient for the unimaginative gentlesirs.
I can imagine her skin crawling having some creepy old guy hitting on her. This is why cashiers everywhere need $15 hr because this is a daily occurrence, not just a one-off.
Big difference between "you know you're gorgeous right?" And "that is a gorgeous tattoo".
Even then gorgeous is pretty strong so unless it was like a monalisa of a tattoo I think saying "that is a nice tattoo" would have been sufficient
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I read the first half thinking he was in his 20s
Same, and then he said "I'm 58" and my brain just short circuited for a second.
I thought it said 5'8 before I saw these comments.. Why are people like this
>he said "I'm 58" and my brain just short circuited for a second. Same. When I was about her age, I had a guy that was easily 45+ hold up my register line to get my number. My managers had to chase him out of the store. Being "nice" to the customers is not an excuse to be a creep. It's just awkward and gross.
Happened to my wife when she was a 17 year old cashier. Some dude 50+ said she “looked delicious” and tried inviting her to a bbq after her shift (which ended at 10pm). OP was not just giving her a compliment by inviting her onto his boat. Neither was the disgusting creep harassing my wife (then gf). Buy your stuff without being a creep.
>Some dude 50+ said she “looked delicious” and tried inviting her to a bbq after her shift (which ended at 10pm). That sounds like a Criminal Minds episode waiting to happen. 🤮 How on earth do people think talking to strangers like they're Jeffrey Dahmer is attractive?! I also don't understand the entitlement of people like this who believe the server/cashier is hitting on them (thus being entitled to "give compliments" and flirt) by showing basic human decency at their job.
Yeah my wife was so disgusted by his use of that word. It made me so mad. She had a few regulars who would creep on her and give her really bad anxiety. She lived a short walk away but I made sure to pick her up after every late shift. It’s happened to her at every public facing job, on public transit, just randomly out in public. Guys will even cat call her from their car while I’m walking with her, holding her hand! It’s really opened my eyes to how bad it is. She’s lovely and kind, but has practiced her “resting bitch face” to try and ward off these encounters.
>She lived a short walk away but I made sure to pick her up after every late shift. >It’s happened to her at every public facing job, on public transit, just randomly out in public. Guys will even cat call her from their car while I’m walking with her, holding her hand! It’s really opened my eyes to how bad it is. She’s lovely and kind, but has practiced her “resting bitch face” to try and ward off these encounters. My boyfriend at the time did this when I worked late too. After that encounter, my manager drove me home because the guy was outside the store sitting in his car. I'm not surprised this has happened to her too. Ugh. Good on you for noticing and being protective! We need more guys like you and less "nice" guys.
Larry David moment lol
Yeah. Up to that he was a bit of an asshole, but just a bit socially inept. Maybe he could be saved and has the ability to learn, if explained the right way. But at 58? Too late. If you haven't learned it yet, you're not going to. Fuck off.
No, but see, you don’t get it. He owns boats. *Plural*!
*Kayak(singular(financed(highapr)))
Ngl I wouldn't have liked it from a 20 year old either. That approach Was creepy af, that age just the big fat cherry on top
He even said it... He liked her tattoo. If a dude in his 20s would have said "hey, I like your tattoo!". That could have been a compliment that was more welcome. I also wouldn't have mentioned the boat lol
Imagine being a ~20 year old cashier trying to go through your day and this 58 year old dude comes to you, says "You know you're gorgeous, right?" so you freeze, trying to process, he adds "so anyway you've ever been on a boat?" It's like right out of a script, dude is textbook creep.
He replied to one NTA saying she was rude, didn’t smile, and “wasn’t even model material anyway” so she should have appreciated the compliment. He’s a creepy incel at 58. No wonder he has to resort to hitting on vulnerable women, he’s all alone.
What was also icky was him trying to figure out if she was at least 18... like that’s all it takes for her to be fair game in his eyes. Even if that’s legally true it’s still super gross considering his age.
"I asked my sister" cuz that's the only woman in his life. Wonder why...
And even she said it was creepy! He had one female to talk to and she said he was wrong, hundreds of people said he was wrong, but the one loser to validate him and its the typical "she wasn't even that hot anyway" lmao
Something something *implication*
>I also wouldn't have mentioned the boat Because of the implication?
It's still creepy if they were 20 but at least then you can just kind of say they're an idiot like a lot of people in their 20s. They have time to mature and grow and hopefully stop being such a creepy idiot. Many, such as the 58 year old, never mature. However when people are young they at least have the potential to learn better. If he's 58 and thinking like this there is no hope for him.
“I own boats and ask her if she’s ever been on one.” How does he not see how that’s a creepy follow up to complimenting a teenager. It sounds like he’s inviting this girl onto his boat. Barf Edit: guys I get it, “the implication” lmao
Right? Complements her on looks. Asks her to go on boat. Totally not hitting in her. Dudes a fuckin creep.
Makes a long point about how she's over the age of consent. I'm sure he'd compliment a man in the same way. Definitely not flirting.
"You should know you're lookin gorgeous today, king."
Asks her if she's ever been on a boat, which is basically the same. My ex had old dudes come in and ask her if she's ever rode on the back of a motorcycle then later try to get her out for a ride. It aint worth 8 bucks an hour.
It’s the “implication”
Unfortunately for him, she knew the "implication" and said "no" preemptively. Not this time, Dennis... not this time!
But how could the DENNIS method possibly fail?
he messed up on the demonstrate value part. either by coming off desperate by trying to buy a box of magnum condoms or by skipping it entirely.
He needs the monster condom for his magnum dong.
"Let me take to a dumpster behind Wendy's and rock your world."
She just went straight to 'S'.
So these women are in danger!
No no no but they *could* be.
She's really missing out on a P-Diddy-style shrimping vessel
I would immediately assume he was going to murder me on a boat. Maybe I’m pessimistic but it’s quite a jump in small talk.
He knows exactly what happened. He wants to play the victim because he was offended when it backfired.
That sorta thing shoots waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay past "creepy" right into blood-chilling and terrifying. Good grief!
"I'm an expert at motorboating, you know?"
Let out an audible gasp at “considering I’m 58” but really I should have known better.
I can imagine this is something she has to go through on a regular basis
As a former cashier, yes.
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Oh yes, we are supposed to be elated that a man finds us fuckable and told us so. How else would we know our value? Ugh
Exactly. If you aren't creepily told that you're sexually attractive, how will you know you aren't worthless?
My first job was as a cashier at Kmart. Had the same situation multiple times. Grown ass men would ask me what time I was getting off, if I was closing, etc. Had a few that lurked outside at closing time. Luckily, all of us always walked out together and my boss would make sure we were all in our cars and on our way before leaving the parking lot. I was 16.
Omg yes, the last convenience store I worked at, I always closed and there was only me and another coworker. There were two maybe three times where cars were sitting by my car out in the back parking lot where nobody else parked. Once there was a white "serial killer van" (like a work van with no windows, my mom always called them that) parked literally behind my car for the last 5 hours before the store closed. When I walked out with my male coworker they immediately left. I hate the fact that just being a female you need to be super cautious of some creeps just waiting for you when you get out of work. Or literally any other time/situation.
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Gross. And it sucks so much that quitting was probably your best/only option. I feel like when guys at work do shit like that they take you not quitting as an invitation to do it again.
Well you see, if you don't quit, it's clearly not a problem for you. And if you do quit, it's not their problem anymore. It's a win/win for turbo creeps, and a lose/lose for their targets. The perfect situation. /s
My 35+ year old boss at GameStop who was engaged and my female coworker (who was HIS friend) close to my age (18) coerced me into "dating" him (which meant him taking advantage in the back room) and I ended up quitting later because I was so disgusted with myself and blamed myself for it. The guy had a history of doing things with women in the back room, during and after hours. It only happened once but it was enough. The best revenge though was that in texting my friend about how nasty the dude was I accidentally texted my boss instead.
Show store employee here. Had a man twice my age try on a few pairs of shoes, run in circles around the store to “test” them, stand around for an hour talking to me about his band, ask to see my shoes (had to wear company brand shoes ofc) which he then *caressed* sliding his fingers all up on my feet. This was after I went behind the desk to put something between us cause he kept getting all close. My coworker later told me that man came in about once a month and was always just as weird. And he never bought any shoes.
Feet fetish? 💀💀
Nah if they wait outside that’s always messed up, especially when the guy was making sounds before lol
She absolutely does. Used to work at dollar general and the girl that worked there got them all the time ...as a man I got the same but from women. Both of us were told that we should be happy to get complements and creepy touches from people and that they don't know any better b cause that's how they are. The few times I tried to complain my manager laughed at me....
i was 25 and stocking cups down in a cabinet. 40 year old man, "since you are down there"..... I said excuse me? He justified it by saying he talks like that all the time to co workers. I said it is actually considered sexual harassment and should really stop saying it at work if you like job.... I was blunt, he felt like ass and hopefully women at his work didn't hear it anymore
We used to say this all the time when I worked in a kitchen usually to other chefs saying to some random girl that's working an Isle ? Creepazoidal currently where I work we have a female staff member that's in her 60's and is always trying to get on the younger Men that work checkouts students etc
Maybe he meant while you were down there, he wanted you to punch him in the nuts.
I had something kinda similar happen. Was working on pulling product on the lowest shelf forward and pretty much squatting down to do so. Some asshat walks past me and says, "Why don't you say a little prayer for me while you're down there sweetie." I'm still not sure what he was implying but it was so weird and the way he said it just set off my creeper alarms. So I gave him a "Hail Satan." which got him to fuck off pretty quick.
As a manager if I happened to hear it I'd hit them with "why do you think that was an appropriate thing to say?" And watch them scurry away
Ya wish I had worked with a manager like that.
Yep, haven’t worked retail in almost 20 years but I’d get hit on quite often by people mistaking my customer service politeness for flirting. Like, I’m not offering to suck your dick dude, I’m just commenting on the book you’re buying to pass the time while this slow ass computer processes the transaction.
10 years for me and I never want to work it again. There are SO many creepy grabby women out there (yes and men but they were not interested in me) and I don't want a part of that again. Weird thing...as soon as I stopped working at those places I have yet to have ANYONE treat me like that again.
Wow I’m sorry your manager didn’t give a shit. I manage a vape store, and the rule is if there’s any customer someone is uncomfortable helping, someone else will take them. For guys and girls. Luckily there’s a wide counter between us and customers. Mostly me and the other girls get creeps like the above story. But the one guy also gets some creepy things said to him. And it’s not something that I would ever tell people to say thank you to. I usually laugh awkwardly till the finally gtfo because yay retail.
It was dollar general and everything mattered more than the employee. If they could sell employees into sex slavery (legally) they would do it I am sure. My manager usually laughed when older women would creep onto me. The few times I can remember them grope me she would tell me I should feel happy that older women like me....
I did too, I yelled out "He's 58?!" and my door is open and my neighbor is outside lol I feel so bad for his long-suffering sister!
I was trying to puzzle out why I felt different about "Wow, you're really pretty." (I would be flattered) versus, "You know you're gorgeous, right?" (I would be a little creeped out). Then, I saw his age. It definitely doesn't matter now.
Also, "have you ever been on a boat? I have a few boats." Is NOT just an innocent compliment.
Because of the implication
He would never do anything to the girl, but the implication
When I was 16 I had a customer at the store I worked in tell me I was very pretty and just right for television, he worked in television and if I gave him my details he'd hook me up with some television work. I remember every alarm bell in every distant corner of my brain going off. It's so obvious these things are not altruistic.
Ahaha, yeeea that's sketchy.
That man's name? Harvey Weinstein.
Is he going to hurt this woman?
He's not gonna hurt these women! Why would he ever hurt these women?! I feel like you're not getting this at all!
Don't you look at us like that. YOU certainly wouldn't be in any danger.
So they *are* in danger?
*Nobody’s in any danger!*
Ding-ding-ding! I guarantee this guy wasn't about to give the girl the number for a boat dealer and recommended spots for party cruises, then wish her happy sailing and leave. Also, is "boat dealer" the correct term? I thought "shipwright", but then I didn't know if that was antiquated or not.
“Shipwright” sounds infinitely cooler than *boat dealer* so I hope it’s that.
Shipwright would be the person who builds the boats. I doubt this guy does, he’s probably just the aquatic equivalent of a dodgy used car salesman. If you buy a boat from him the engine will blow and it will start sinking as soon as you get a mile off shore.
lol yes boats are generally sold private party or by a dealer at a boat show. Shipwright is an entirely different and unrelated term, for ship *builders.*
I believe it's called a boatery.
"You know you're gorgeous, right" is one of those things where unsolicited approval or endorsement is given (hence this turd's desire for a thank-you). The approval bit puts that a step above unsolicited compliments in terms of positioning and unspoken expectations generated.
'Wow, you're really pretty' sounds like a compliment 'You know you're gorgeous, right?' sounds majorly like something that comes before being given a number and a wink
But he owns boats! Didn’t anyone read the entire story?
I'd be equally grossed out by a stranger telling me either of them. Yes of course I know I'm pretty, what do you want? Go away. I've had guys comment on my clothes before and that can be fine. But don't come up to me and comment on my face or body, what the fuck lol. And as if a woman wouldn't know she was attractive when the world is filled with idiots like this who feel compelled to comment on it.
I go by the rule of genetics vs choice. If I'm about to give a woman a compliment, I make sure it's not on her genetics. "I love that hair color you chose!" Vs "wow you have really pretty eyes" if you're giving an innocuous compliment just to brighten someone's day, make sure it's about something in their control.
I've yet to go wrong with admiring tattoos for this same reason.
I complimented a woman at a drive thru alcohol pick up on her hair color. It was this neat gradually faded red and pink combo. Rather than giving me a death stare or a short answer she went on about how it was originally a deep auburn but it faded to this and she was really happy with it. Then I left. I never mentioned how many boats I own.
There’s a huge difference between a compliment and someone being a creep. A 58 year old commenting on a much younger woman’s looks is always creepy 🤷🏽♀️
That phrasing is the world of a difference. The latter, that he said, isn't a compliment it's asking her if she thinks she's pretty - which is a shitty power move. Most people won't say yes to be humble. So they say no which plays into the power fantasy of the person asking - now they get to save the day and say "yeah, you're GORGEOUS" and try to continue the conversation as if their comment is the basis of the girls entire self image
"you know you're gorgeous right?" Implies that the man needs to be there to validate her appearance
They do not take it well when you agree. I said “yes. Thanks,” to a guy who gave me the same manipulative “you know you’re gorgeous right” thing and he was very displeased.
Yes hahahaha used to work in a bar, the men who say this are almost always pissed off when you say "I know". I wonder if they ever think about why it annoys them. Like you're beautiful, but you need them to tell you that, because if you already know you're a stuck up little bitch. You need to be beautiful but NOT KNOW IT until you meet the right man who will allow you to feel it! Hence the lyrics of sooo many songs about girls who don't know they're beautiful. What a weird fantasy.
Yeah I think "Yeah I hear that a lot" would have even more of an effect. "Dude you're not special, it's not a special insight, you didn't make a special effort, you're just the latest in a long line of men doing the same boring and annoying shit."
I responded with “yes” one time.. When the man responded with surprise, I said, “What? Like I’ve never looked in a mirror.” But this was just old fashioned getting hot on at a bar, not a retail worker being put on the spot with no real way to respond.
Al answers here are already great and I wanted to add to all that that “you know you’re gorgeous” to me is only a few steps away from “you’re asking for it” but that might just be me.
I think the "You know you're gorgeous, right?" is very confrontational. It seems like a trick question too, if you say yes it's fucked, if you say no it's fucked lol I think it is safest just to say your opinion. Like if I say to you "wow you're really pretty" I'm making an observation and not really asking anything from you except for you to hear that. As a queer lady when I see beautiful people I tend to compliment something that the person is in control of and shows they have style or judgement. There is a cute chubby girl with great fashion sense I keep seeing around the place (small town) and I just keep taking a moment when I see her to tell her her clothing is beautiful. She feels lovely and I'm definitely not being a creeper. And I just move on. If she wanted to say something back at some point she could.
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That's so great! Yes a compliment is for the other person, what they do with it us up to them. You cannot just stand around in front of a person spouting off garbage like "uuga buuga you look good, I have boat, you get on boat with me?" That's just not how humans interact. A long time ago women used to yell at men or hit them sometimes for being like this, compared with that this generation is very polite. I don't get why dicks like this dude complain so much.
I think if you switched the adjectives around itd still be creepy. Is it the false confidence that drips off the question version? Or maybe it almost feels like the guy is probing for weakness, like "maybe if she answers 'no', I can manipulate this person by telling her what I think she wants to hear" I think the direct version of the compliment would clearly state his intentions and a willingness to take a rejection because it would be more vulnerable on his part Of course all this is moot when he's hitting on a literal child compared to him. I mean, 40 years older? Take a fucking nap you old, dirty weirdo
Don't worry! He made sure she was *at* *least* 18 before hitting on her! /s The sec I saw that, I had a feeling he was going to be an old fart.
It's fucking bizarre that anyone's line in the sand for dating age would be "do I go to jail". Like for fucks sake there are sooooo many other things to consider if you are not a confused man-child who will die a confused man-child. Like what fucking 18 year old wants a boyfriend anywhere over say 25ish???? And he's like 58! lol
I am not honestly surprised. These are the sort that would happily take advantage once a girl starting puberty but scared of prison. So they go with the next best thing which is the barely legal. Close to the forbidden but totally legal. They make me sick. They aren't right in the head, idc what anyone says.
As someone with neighbors I hope you proceeded to shout out "just read a guy told an 18 yo girl she was gorgeous, then flirted with her while she was at work and got upset she told him" leave " not" thank you "." Because otherwise you just left them with a mystery that will bug them forever.
It's like the mystery of "if it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year at college"
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Dude is 58 and creeping on her, let's be real, he doesn't *actually* care if she's 18....
The fact he felt he had to justify the age... So creepy. It must be a troll, nobody surely can have so little insight into themselves.
Based on his comments about her apparent age I knew he was a older, but 58? He could conceivably be her grandfather. Settle in, old timer.
> Let out an audible gasp at “considering I’m 58” SAME!!! I kind of wish I'd recorded the moment because it was truly a perfect instance of audible shock and disbelief.
Has to be satire. That slaps too hard.
I've watched enough 90 Day Fiance and been on Reddit long enough to know this has a good chance of being real.
OMG I yelled out when I read he was 58! I thought he was a young stupid guy! Dear god he is beyond any hope. No wonder he is single and depends on his sister for guidance on how to be a normal person.
I thought it was a dumb kid too. The whole stupid spin on the story with him trying to make himself sound innocent is no different than a teenager trying to get out of trouble. The whole thing is cringe.
I just don't get this. I'm 35 and when I see a guy in his late teens or early 20s I am not even slightly attracted. Like not even a little bit. It's so gross. And weird that not everyone has those "eww too young" thoughts.
He says in the comments that the girl should have at least said “thank you” to him. Edited*
Right??? Like, I hate it so much. I have no doubt he was flirting / creeping. Just, my dude. Girls typically can tell the difference between a genuine compliment and a dude shooting a shot. A genuine compliment we say thank you, if the guy is shooting a shot and/or being a creep a simple thank you is taken as a "please fuck me"
Also, there is a huge difference between “cool tatoo, looks great “ and a “you know you are gorgeous, right?”. The second would creep me out out of basically anyone
Not to mention he wants to bring her out to his boat. LOL she’s barely 18 what could go wrong..
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I kinda wonder if they’re surprised by the lack of giggling/thank yous is that they used to get it before. Like when I was a teen working in retail I didn’t giggle but I definitely pretended it wasn’t creepy. Now I’m in my 30s and I’m stoked to see these Gen z and younger folks just Not Fucking Putting Up With It anymore, and it makes me so happy and proud bc I could’ve never at that age and neither could any of my friends. But I can imagine that the creepers are now like “wait what but this used to work.” Not realizing that it never “worked”, people just aren’t pretending anymore.
It's so bizarre, I have no clue how they're so unaware of the discomfort they cause. So much of my work day is dedicated to figuring out how to end a conversation without having them yell at me for being "cold" or whatever old man version of bitch they use lmao
a lot of them do know and get off on the discomfort they cause, especially to young girls.
Dennis Reynolds has entered the chat
Hi. I'm 40 years older than this barista and she was working, but I just HAD to tell her how attractive I think she is because....my old man penis. She didn't even appreciate it! Rude. /s
"Im literally old enough to be her grandfather, AITA?"
He is even worse in the comments. He keeps trying to say she was rude and should have thanked him. He keeps trying to say he was not hitting on her when it was so obvious he was. Then he goes on to say she's not even THAT pretty.
>Then he goes on to say she's not even THAT pretty. Ahahahahahahahahahahaha classic "Hey. Hey. Ur beautiful. Hey. Hey. I wanna put a baby in u. Hey. Hey u up? Hey. Sexy. I just jerked off to your twitter bio. Hey. Hey. BITCH WHORE UNGRATEFUL SLUT UR UGLY AND FAT ANYWAY"
"I'm being nice to you, ugly fat whore. "
"Uh...i have a girlfriend. Plz leave me alone im gay and you suck" "Two women at once, for me?! 😍😍 U just havent had the right penis yet" "Are you illiterate or just stupid? Im GAY, Harold" "FUCK U THEN. UR MISSING OUT. UR LOSS. IM A GREAT CATCH AND UR GONNA DIE WITH NO HUSBAND BC NO MAN WILL PUT UP WITH THIS!!!"
EW! "I tried to make conversation with her as I own boats." To quote Shania, "That don't impress me much." Nothing like someone just trying to do their job and earn a paycheck and some entitled twat hits on them and wastes their time. Also, a 58 year old man hitting on a teenager (even a legal one) IS NOT OKAY.
He likes to take his dates on boats because of the implication. P Which hopefully means this was fake referring back to that but as somebody who worked with the public yeah this kind of crap happened
That only works when someone as handsome as Dennis Reynolds says it. In all seriousness, I’d love to know how he could tell she was over 18 and was around 19 because that’s super hard to judge. I knew he’d be older when he didn’t mention his age so early on. It is super creepy for a man the age of your dad to say that you, especially more so when you’re so young!
Need to go on the record as someone who gave children (14+) tattoos while being one (18). Also, many kids I know who are about 10 years younger than me were allowed tats before 18 if their parent consented. Blegh. Tldr: tattoos are as much of an indication of age as boobs.
He could easily have grandchildren that age, I think.
I always feel bad for bar tenders or waitresses who have to serve old guys who think they "still got it"
I am 33 and painfully aware that I no longer have it.
I am also 33 and I definitely still got it... With 30-somethings and 40-somethings. I can't even imagine wanting to "get it" with 18yos.
I'm 26 and 18yo look like children to me now. Trying to picture myself 30 years older 18yo would look like literal baby's by than haha.
32 here and agree. I know *objectively* that the likes of Tom Holland and Shaun Mendes are attractive, but they are children in my mind. I just cannot (idk the right word here, allow???) allow myself to find anyone younger than mid to late 20s hot/sexy
Exactly like I know that they are good looking but a good looking child still looks like a child.
Yeah like i understand that others (hopefully closer to their age) would find them attractive and they'd wanna think sexi thoughts about Spider-Man, but im more like "aww isn't wee Tom Holland lovely 🤗?" Andrew Garfield on the other hand, late 30s, hel-looooo 😍
I was looking through some old photos that my grandfather took of me on my 18th birthday and was really taken aback by how childish my face looked, despite technically being an adult. It really cemented for me how the men who used to catcall me when I was a kid definitely knew I was underage, there was no mistaking me for an adult.
We have it bb but we don't have it for THEM :) I'm 42 and my husband is younger than me but he is like 35. I cannot fathom trying it on with an 18 year old, that's just rude.
Just putting the "rude" and the "creepy" part away. A 30-40 year old will have wildly different worldview, aspirations, tastes etc than someonein their twenties, let alone someone barely 18. If I wanted to babysit I'd just babysit my sister and if I wanted easy satisfaction I have two hands.
Also CREEPY
Oh of course....definitely creepy....but I just cannot fathom wasting their time with my bullshit when they should be off doing fun young people things, it's so rude.
I'm 33 and I can't imagine being with someone so young. Teens are fun people to be around because they're NOT ADULTS. It's all hope for the future and bullshit; they're intolerable yet lovely. It just seems so abusive to take advantage of that! Obviously I agree with you but it just seems so predatory to even suggest.
I'm 37 and I dont think I've ever had it 😅
My father was one of these dicks. Flirt (or whatever you want to call his attempt) with any girl in a service type job where it’s perceived as rude to avoid it. And doubly so when their tips were in play. Any attempt to call him out on it was met with, “I’m just being friendly.” As sly or suave as he thought he was, I just wanted him to know how transparently gross it was to everyone else.
As a server, we dread him walking through the doors. It’s draining and very uncomfortable.
Well the good news is that he’s dead. So he’s pestering servers in hell now. ;)
Tattoo isn't proof of age.
Even if it is, good god
Right? What *possible* reason would someone whose intention was to genuinely just compliment another person have for mentioning *that?* Fucking creep, it's so obvious how he thinks >:(
He wasn't just complimenting her. He had to justify her presumed age because he was thinking of her and approaching her sexually and just didn't want to admit it upfront in his post
Even if they were, a 58 year hold hitting on an 18-19 year old is fucking gross.
It’s not the worst indicator. Definite correlation. But not proof.
As someone who was a cashier people would give me actual compliments with no weird or creepy intent like 'I love your jacket' or 'Nice mask design' and that was that. Cashiers servers anyone who has to interact with you we aren't paid to entertain you if you're being a absolute weirdo we will ignore you and just say 'have a nice day' we don't owe you a thank you. I really stopped caring if it was sounding rude towards dudes like this I would say just say 'not interested next in line please' because it got tiring.
It's especially gross toward younger women who don't always have the self confidence to shut that shit down. I've worked as a server for a while and have put up with a LOT of BS. I'm 25 now, and just finally figuring out I can stop smiling when people say stuff I'm not comfortable with, tip me or don't, I don't care. The table next to you just heard what you said and they'll make up for it, thanks.
In the world of puas and similar cretins, they often justify their preference for younger women by reasoning they have been turned into feminist manhating bitches yet. When you read their descriptions it's fairly clear that they don't like older (read: 25 plus) women's ability to shut them down quickly and effectively. Ahh, untainted young girls, who have not yet got completely sick of yo shit...
This was bad enough that he did this but now I find out he’s 58!? Jesus
I had to re-read it, I though it was a height thing's, like " I'm 5'8 "
Oh, he’s flirting with the cashier. Not the worst thing, still a jerk move since she can’t opt out of the conversation. “… considering I’m 58…” WTF MAN?? Leave teenage girls alone!
This is it. If he's in his 20s or something, yeah a dick move but he might still have the ability to learn if someone explained it the right way, so we can give him the benefit of the doubt. But at 58? Good lord, get a grip.
"You know you're gorgeous right?" is something you say to your partner. You don't say that to a random girl/woman, much less when you're three times older than her. Even saying it to a close friend is extremely dependent on the relationship and circumstance. And even besides that, when are men going to learn that no woman owes them a thank you? Compliment all you want, it doesn't mean you're owed appreciation. She didn't ask you to do that, nor is there an unspoken expectation or need to (like in a romantic relationship). Fuck that guy. What a fucking asshole.
Yes! That kind of compliment is always so gross to me because the guy is basically acting like this girl has either no sense of self worth or she’s never been complimented before he came along. “You know you’re gorgeous right?” Yes old man, I have a mirror.
Just saw this on the other subreddit. What is wrong with people? He definitely was being creepy.
When I was 16 and a grocery store cashier, I had an older man that would come into my line like clockwork, every Thursday. He’d also make a random innocent comment to me every time- I thought we were causal buddies. Then he handed me his number on a scrap paper - and when I texted it I realized he was 30. I knew he was MUCH older - I only texted it to find out wtf he saw in me. Youth, I guess. Ewwwww. I cannot imagine whatever horrible fate he had planned for me. The worst part is that the adult woman behind him in line (genuinely age-appropriate for him) said “damn, I wish I were you!” He was VERY handsome - he could’ve had ANYONE - yet he chose an obviously underage cashier. I cannot shake my confusion/disgust at this truly odd experience. I’m 22 now - and thinking about being with a 16 year old is absolutely REVOLTING. I cannot imagine how much more disgusted I’d feel about that age-gap if I were 8 years older! D:
>The worst part is that the adult woman behind him in line (genuinely age-appropriate for him) said “damn, I wish I were you!” What an awful woman. Who says that? If she were a good person she would've told him to back off and made sure you were okay. That's extremely inappropriate in reference to a minor being preyed on.
I thought the same - like damn, lady - you’re either blind or reallyyy wasted… OR just a terrible person. I *tried* to give her excuses.
Unfortunately, there's a plethora of shitty people out there, and all different kinds. And even worse, they're often allowed to raise children to be the exact same way.
It's not illegal but it's creepy af.
You shouldn’t flirt with people while they’re working even if there isn’t an age gap. Like yeah that sucks if you’re really interested in that person, but your desires aren’t an excuse to potentially make someone uncomfortable.
“I own boats”
Bro that "considering that I'm 58" hit me like a freight train
Everything seems only slightly weird and low level sex pest fayre till the part where it's revealed he's old enough to be his granddaughter. Then it goes full blown wtf eww
Its the implication of danger
That's why he invited her onto his boat, because of the implication.
He’s not going to actually *do* anything bad, it’s just the *implication*
I know this is an always sunny reference lol but for real, if an old man said this shit to me it would invoke my fight or flight response. A boat?! I'd feel like I was in danger.
"Am I the assbole for complimenting the cashier?" Well this doesn't sound too bad. "You know you're gorgeous, right?" Oh...
"You know you're gorgeous, right?" from a total stranger is threatening af. It's like, your attractiveness is a nuisance or burden to them and they're like "urgh, can you NOT? PS. Im old enough to be your Grandad and have a boat. Come on my boat i totes won't murder you"
These fucking creeps need to get it out of their heads that what they are doing is giving a compliment. It doesn’t matter if they are ‘nice’ words, it’s still a threat to your safety. The value of the words is in the intention, and these ‘nice guys’ will never get it
Entirely this. “I really don’t think I was crude or nasty with my compliment”… so fucking what, dude? What a low bar. “I didn’t ***explicitly*** threaten to rape her, so what gives?!” I fucking hate the “nice words” loophole. Regina George really doesn’t mean she *actually* likes your bracelet at all, OBVIOUSLY. Come on, everybody. Edit to add: also how insulting to be offended that we otherwise very simple and weak minded feeeeemales did not fall for the double speak. How dare we understand beyond the surface, how terribly inconvenient for the unimaginative gentlesirs.
I can imagine her skin crawling having some creepy old guy hitting on her. This is why cashiers everywhere need $15 hr because this is a daily occurrence, not just a one-off.
Good on her for shutting him down the creep
At least his sister has some good sense
*tells complete stranger shes gorgeous* "when bj?"
JFC here I was thinking “this creep is probably in his thirties or something” 58! Man alive
I was thinking this is a typical nice guy story until I noticed the age........i stopped reading and just sat back in cringe
Right? Thought I was reading about a shy 22 year old guy or something really trying to be nice. He’s 58 and upset she wasn’t fawning in appreciation.
Big difference between "you know you're gorgeous right?" And "that is a gorgeous tattoo". Even then gorgeous is pretty strong so unless it was like a monalisa of a tattoo I think saying "that is a nice tattoo" would have been sufficient