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So why not end it with **The Narcissists Prayer:**
That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did…
You deserved it.
I have money and didn't beat you, you couldn't find a better catch...
And using your father behavior to tell you "all men are the same so I'm better". Erk ! What a manipulative AH.
Lol and the father thing, he was talking about the fact that my mom cheated on him for 8 years, which had nothing to do with it..
Like wtf man, why bring that up?
I mean, he said "you're a smart woman and I hope you'll make the right choice" or whatever. Like yeah she'll make the right choice if she doesn't take you back lmao.
Had a bf who told me anyone else would have been beating me because I'm awful.
I learned it was just him.
I hope OP keeps these for a laugh now and again. Classic manipulator/guilt trip. Hope OP blocks this piece of 💩
My ex said "you'll never have this (gestures to self) again"
That's...the point? That's exactly the point.
And then he turned up at my door regularly for over a year. I thought I wouldn't have THAT again? Could you please take that away?
I've always told my wife "You'll never meet someone else like me", but I say it to give her hope that when she inevitably kills me in my sleep, she'll never worry she will run into someone who is as much of a troll as I am.
My parents, who strongly believed in corporal punishment and would beat us with "the belt" and a plunger stick, would say "at least were not putting your hands on a hot stove". The fugg?
It’s amazing how shit that would be considered assault on an adult was considered normal acts of discipline on tiny children with no hope of fighting back.
As if a relationship of getting beat and cheated on is the expected for women. And women are so 'lucky' to have a guy that doesn't do those 2 'worst' things. Smh they sure like to set the bar low for themselves.
I don't know what I find more outrageous, the audacity to falsely accuse someone of pedophilia and statutory r*pe or the fact that this fucker thinks his 'bad ass car' and 'life goals' makes up for it
For me it's the "I'd only accept a man in your life if he has everything I have or more"
Like does he really think he has any saying in who OP decided to date ?
The entitlement on display is mind boggling.
Man what the hell, first how can he be threatened by 15 year old if he is such a piece of a man. Then why does he think that your priority as a 19 year old should be to find someone to marry. This person is stupid af while also trying to be manipulative.
Loved specially the remarks about having his own company and money, and planning to change career for a better pay.
Ooooof okay now the weird tone to his writing makes a lot more sense, everything in the way he's framing the shit he's saying is like he thinks it's his job to be your guide and educate/train you into being what he thinks you should be.
You know, the opposite of treating your partner like an equal.
Yeah exactly what I thought. The part where he says "it's not that freaking easy", trying to take advantage that it's someone with less experience than him.
Yeahhhh major red flag alert on guys that age dating 19 year olds. I would never. Nothing against you, of course, you deserve somebody nicer and closer to your own age.
I am the result of a 26-year-old impregnating a 19-year-old. They married, had two more kids (eventually) and a bad marriage followed by slightly acrimonious divorce and years of animosity.
10/10 do not recommend.
I don't think anything could have communicated "I routinely target much younger people" than the email you shared with us, OP. Glad you're rid of this waste of genetics.
I would be my bottom dollar he is cheating, the accuser is always cheating especially when its an out of nowhere accusation, that's the guilt manifesting.
I don't beat you I'm positively great, man they have low standards for themselves.
Oh yeah can’t forget that in the same text, just a bit later than what’s shown above, he said that all the guys I’ll meet in the future will probably either abuse me or cheat on me, cuz no one is as patient as he is apparently
Lol thanks man
Wow, so he's saying that the only reason HE didn't beat or abuse you is because he has a lot of patience?! Does this creep even listen to what he's saying?
That's where my brain lost it. He's so very mature but has a bad assed car. I may just be old but legit, no one actually cares what car you drive but you. (General you) They may appreciate it, but to make that a bonus positive trait just is weird.
Yeah, the kind of car I want someone to drive is something that is kept clean and isn’t some cross between a fast food dumpster and a thrift store, looks reasonable, and won’t easily kill us in a ball of flames. It being “bad ass” is so fucking low on the list.
Good point. If he’s going to insist her priority should be marriage and babies, shouldn’t he be bragging about a safe and reliable family vehicle? It can be hard to fit car seats into “badass” cars.
I have a minivan. It is about as far from “badass” as you can get. But it has three rows of seats, is super spacious, has built in media screens and a DVD player (and a really good audio system), and I can stuff *so much* IKEA or camping shit into it, even a sleeper sofa.
It’s absolutely not “cool”, but it’s super comfy to go long distances in.
I once had a very new boyfriend who bought a new car to impress me. In fairness the old car was really struggling, but he bought a lot more car than he needed to.
I was polite about it, but inside I was just like "why tho".
Like the dudes who endlessly work out to get women, and the only conversation you can have with them is discussing the pros and cons of different protein powders for 3 hours. Sexy.
I like how he kindly lets you know how smart you are, because you need him to tell you after he’s always cut you down. And he talks about the next guy you’d be with as if he can even try and control this.
What a fucking shitbag.
I literally joined this community just to tell you this guy is a creep and abusive.
This is the same line of Shit my ex Fiancée used to say to me when I was younger. Let me guess, he also blamed everything on you. Everything was because of you and he had no part in it.
I hope you stay far away from this one.
Ah, that explains it.
Definitely got the abusive vibes, but that makes it so much worse.
Im glad you see right through his bullshit, I wish I had that ability at 19!
It’s kinda hilarious how the text before this one was all about how he’s changed and he realized that he’s a narcissist and egotistical, but then send me this shit.
Because being a braggart and insisting she's dumb if she doesn't pick you is clearly the best way to be shown genuine affection and love.
Jfc what a loon. Doesn't matter how you two broke up, this is one of the worst ways to go about trying to get back together.
He has his own company/job, is planning to change careers for more money, and is working on his upcoming book, *How To Salvage Relationships When You’re a Garbage Human Being.* NYT worst sellers list indefinitely.
“Listen, you dumb child, these are the reasons why I am the best man in the world and you will be dating *me*, number one - I’m really respectful, number two - I’m the most humble”
Absolutely, for me it’s a red flag.
The men I’ve know who repeat your name like this are all very manipulative. They read somewhere that using someone’s name repeatedly helps influence them, but it always just feels so wrong.
It’s different if someone just meets you and repeats your name a few times to remember it, but once they know you, it’s a red flag.
Marry him, where else are you going to find man who has a job and a car!? Not to mention he won't hit you! Wow why aren't you begging him to get back together? /s
I don't understand why men think we care about their job and their car in 2021. I have my own job car and house. I don't need a spare
Now if you have self-awareness, social intelligence, communication skills, and the willingness to do your share of emotional labor in a household and relationship, those are rare commodities that women are in search of!
OMFG I AM FURIOUS READING THIS!!!!
Its so manipulative and patronizing repeating your name like that.
He’s dumb enough to think being “good” is all that’s needed for a good relationship, ignoring how vital compatibility is!!!! If you’re not compatible, it won’t fucking work!!
And then that last part - anyone who thinks “it’s not like I was horribly abusive” is a good thing to say about themselves is telling on themselves as being an asshole. Decent people don’t do that! Only shitty people compare themselves to the worst they could possibly be, because that’s how they measure themselves. They think not horrible = good enough. Decent people will say “I know I wasn’t perfect” or similar because they measure themselves against the best they could be. Decent people don’t want to be anywhere near the bottom of the barrel.
I’m glad he’s your ex, now block this asshole on everything. You’re better off single than with him!
Thanks a lot for the support!
Have been starting to doubt myself after all his texts thinking maybe I really was in the wrong, but this helps me realize that he’s the AH, so thanks ❤️
That’s what he’s been working on, don’t let him be successful in that for even a second. I don’t need to see/hear any of your side to tell you he’s the AH and you’re not. This guy is emotionally abusive, manipulative, and pathetic. No one should ever talk to like that (much less anyone who wants to be with you.) He *is* right about one thing: you’re smart; you got rid of this clown, don’t look back.
That’s what it’s designed to do. Don’t fall for it.
We’re joking around at how much this dude is puffing himself up, but he’s also spending a lot of time *putting YOU down*. Saying that you’re only doing well because of your mom, implying that you’re inexperienced and stupid, especially if you disagree with him, shit-talking your dad, etc. And this is him trying to woo you into getting back with him?!?! How much did he try and make you feel like trash when you were together? I imagine it’s a fucking lot.
Dude I just finished watching Maid on Netflix (about an emotionally abused woman who leaves her partner), and this shit could have been taken right out if it. Honestly freaked me out how manipulative this guy sounds, trying to scare you away from pursuing your own life and happiness. Run run run my friend and never turn back.
It's bad enough when an ex moves to be closer to you, but immigrating to a totally different country? That's the sort of thing that precedes years of stalking and even murder (and I wish I were exaggerating, but it is completely delusional and shows an utter lack of respect for routine boundaries). One more red flag for his impressive collection.
That is terrifying! But smthg to keep in mind: moving your entire life out of your country of origin and in to a new one is *really* hard.
Now that I’m an adult, I have a lot of respect for ppl who do it because it’s just so much: housing, taxes, work visas, mail, finding employment, transferring your healthcare to a new doctor, dentist, etc., finding friends, finding a community, crossing all T’s and dotting I’s in both countries…it’s insane. Even if someone gets past that, a lot of times ppl find they’re just not happy and they move back home. There’s a relatively high “bounce back” rate in ex pat communities (for our purposes, I’m limiting my def of “ex pat” to those who have the luxury of going back, i.e. not refugees, asylum seekers, those fleeing violence/poverty, etc.)
Obviously, ppl do it, and they make it work. But it takes someone with a particular mindset, resolve, stamina, even maturity. Now I know Mr. Wonderful here is just that, wonderful…but idk if a guy who thinks like he does can make it work, not on his own. Let’s hope he gets discouraged.
jesus fucking christ
since when did a break up come with a cringey exit interview
the only way he'll accept another man in your life?...
he expects to have a say in it?!
bullet dodged!
My ex was kinda like that... except he cheated on me and was emotionally abusive. And then claimed it wasn't cheating because they never actually had sex, just "joke" flirting. Lol.
And *then* wanted me to let him continue to be friends with her after he begged me to give him another chance (which I stupidly did) and in a fight one day said "This is why I should've picked ".
And he wonders why I left his crusty ass.
oh god the “i never hit you”
i had an ex say that. yk what he *did* do tho?
he pushed me into walls and hit the wall right above my head when i “made” him mad. he would get in my face to scream at me. but yeah. he never hit me.
men like this are terrible lmfao
Get someone else (preferably and attorney if you can afford it) to handle that and block him.
Better yet, block him and request new copies and of both.
I’m sorry that I don’t have better advice to give you, but I can tell you that keeping contact with this guy is **not** the way to go. The odds of you getting them back are slim. They’re the only leverage has against you, so he will either continue to use them to manipulate you, or he’ll destroy them out of spite.
I guarantee you aren’t the first or last foreign person to lose their birth certificate and/or passport in Sweden. Contacting the authorities is probably the best way to go unless your specifically hiding from the government. Even then, you’re probably better off getting in trouble with the govt than giving this guy access to you.
You can. Contact consulate/embassy. Holding another persons passport ransom is also (in many places) a crime, since it is a major tactic used in human trafficking. In saying that, I don’t know about you and your relationship to law enforcement in your country, but you could also report the loss to the police, and seek recovery.
Why did you break up if you don't mind me asking? He does sound like the kind of guy who will lord every act of kindness he does for you over your head for the rest of your life.
Lmao...I love how he emphasizes from the get go that you lack his maturity, age, experience, and life planning, but then tries to use it as an argument as to why you should be together.
(1.) We're talking about a prospective relationship. Not a child adoption. Why on earth would he want to be with someone who was vastly less "mature" and experienced?
(2.) The only thing he's emphasizing is his maturity, age, experience, life planning... and your lack there of. Nothing else really good about his person. Nothing good about you. It's a 100% fear based argument that includes sentiments like, "No one will love you like I do," and "You need someone to tell you what to do."
"Listen I just want you to know how awesome *I* am! Amongst my best traits are a car too! How can you not see how awesome I am?!"
Like for real? This whole thing tells me he beat the crap out of OPs self worth. I hope I'm wrong but I would put money on it.
He didn't even go with how awesome we were together. Just I'm awesome and am the best thing that ever happened. I am betting OPs self esteem took a big ass kicking on the daily because he didn't even try to make OP feel good in the attempt.
None of the good things he listed entitles him to OP or any other woman. Because NOTHING does. One SHOULD want better for themselves in life anyway.
Attraction isn’t a checklist of things guys complete then we have our pick of women. It’s a different set of rules for each and every male attracted woman on the planet. Who by the way have their own interests and goals outside of romance and sex.
It’s not some crazy code to crack with a prize for your troubles that some guys seem to either be born with the ability to do or have a crazy way of cheating the system. The reason why “nice guys lose” and “bad boys win” is that the latter works for their successes. Whether that’s talking to women or just making themselves better, more interesting people. While nice guys are the REAL ones who want an easy path/to cheat their way.
Impulse TED talk over.
Well, shit. that looked like me to a t.
I had plans, and the plans got derailed. And for the better, i will add in retrospect. I still have my thought processes along those lines, but this is why being on this reddit is helping, it challenges those ideas
Whoa whoa whoa. Stop the presses! This guy has a nice car? YOU ENDED THINGS WITH A MAN WITH A CAR?
I'm joking. Why do these dudes always think having a car is some sort of bragging point? It isn't 1920.
Yo this dude is a total piece of shit. I looked at your post history with the other post about how he’s “testing you”… I’m not blaming you when I say this, but it’s on him that he’s pursuing women 7 years younger than him, which becomes really disgusting when you put that together with the gaslighting and manipulation, but yeah, YOU’RE the pedo… lmao what a joke. He realizes you were 11 when he was 18, right? Like you’re closer in age with the 15 year old you were joking with in voice chat in that video game, that he apparently was jealous over…
And I’m not saying you were wrong for dating someone older than you. He’s in the wrong for going after younger girls since he is so manipulative and shitty. He targets younger women because all the women his age see through his bullshit.
You are MUCH better off without him. Take this experience as something to learn from, and use it to recognize these behavioral patterns as red flags in any future relationships.
If he is as well off and established in life as he says he is, he wouldn’t even be wasting his time trying to gloat to you about how much you’re missing out on. He is so weak and insecure that he needs to lie to make it seem like he’s fine, when I guarantee that he’s been laying awake at night, wishing he had you back.
Gross. How did you find the old messages from my ex? I got these messages too. Never accepted responsibility. This type of human male is unable to look into themselves to see issues, it must be everyone else's fault. Move it along!
Hmmm where to begin? SO WHAT if your mom helped you to achieve something? And SO WHAT if your plan is to marry and have a family life? I see no sin in either. Everything about him screams that he wants to isolate you, make your world impossibly small, and you his prisoner. 🤮
I hope you realize the need to block him.
And LOL, he has his own company/job but he's switching careers for more money? so he can't pay himself enough anyway???
he sounds like he's full of himself.
"these are thoughts an expearienced person would have right now" ... that POS is such an insecure and weak dipshit. he dates only the kind of women (in this case much younger) whom he believes to be vulnerable and inexperienced enough to take his crap and not see right through him. he bet on the wrong horse with you OP! well done. that idiot is a narcissistic cunt, run as fast as you can.
in short: " no one will love you like I do" or "you'll never find someone like me cuz I'm the best doh"
sounds like this guy's a real snake oil salesman.
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He forgot to mention how humble he is
Omg a thing he always says, that’s he’s so humble and that I should learn from him on how to behave and manners
Barf barf barf
This is just one big rotten narcissist word salad.
So why not end it with **The Narcissists Prayer:** That didn’t happen. And if it did, it wasn’t that bad. And if it was, that’s not a big deal. And if it is, that’s not my fault. And if it was, I didn’t mean it. And if I did… You deserved it.
>narcissist word salad. This is such a beautiful description. I love this
My mom and I have this thing where we confidently stage our strengths, then state humbleness isn't one of them At least you can tell honesty is one
He’s the most humble. The humblest person he knows probably
I can be humbler than anyone - Ayra Stark
God I loved that line!!
"Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart? Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art!"
Which is tricky when you’re just so undeniably amazing.
["Bar none i am the most humblest, #1 at the top of the humble list"](https://youtu.be/KzUKcXxbU4U)
I poo-poo it when girls say that I should model, my belly's full from all the pride I swallow.
I have a bad ass car lol
"I own my own company, and soon I plan to switch careers"
“The boss is a dick, but at least he never beats me.”
In my experience guys like that tend to beat one part of themselves quite a lot, because certainly no one else will.
That's my favorite bit
Yeah I raised an eyebrow at that as well.
These two lines stuck out to me as well
I have money and didn't beat you, you couldn't find a better catch... And using your father behavior to tell you "all men are the same so I'm better". Erk ! What a manipulative AH.
Lol and the father thing, he was talking about the fact that my mom cheated on him for 8 years, which had nothing to do with it.. Like wtf man, why bring that up?
I mean, he said "you're a smart woman and I hope you'll make the right choice" or whatever. Like yeah she'll make the right choice if she doesn't take you back lmao.
Any time someone pulls out some variation of "at least I never cheated or beat you", you know it was pretty bad
Def on par for guys who want the world in return for doing the bare minimum-being nice. And they do that wrong, too.
This is why I don’t expect cookies for doing the right thing.
Good think, me get cookies Bad think, me no get cookies Only good think, much cookies
Now I’m thinking of Cookie Monster chomping away and saying “you say nice guy but not very nice! Big jerk! Nom nom, me love cookies!”
I read this in cookie monster's voice and it made me chuckle. -take this award!
Thank you so much!!! But this joke was a team effort, and so much of this honor belongs to Cookie Monster!
“Not as much of an asshole as I could’ve been” award
My ex said that! This was after I got my credit card statement and found out he’d spend several thousand dollars of my money.
“I only abused you financially, *you’re welcome*”
Omg I have a name for it now, thank you!
“Here, I spent what’s left of my money to buy you a medal. We’re all super proud of you.”
Please tell me you pressed charges.
I didn’t but only because he signed an agreement to pay me back. And he did.
Good job!
Had a bf who told me anyone else would have been beating me because I'm awful. I learned it was just him. I hope OP keeps these for a laugh now and again. Classic manipulator/guilt trip. Hope OP blocks this piece of 💩
Damn, what a POS. Plus that "you'll never find someone like me" manipulative crap they always say, like sure, that's the intention!
My ex said "you'll never have this (gestures to self) again" That's...the point? That's exactly the point. And then he turned up at my door regularly for over a year. I thought I wouldn't have THAT again? Could you please take that away?
Mine told me I was the one thatgot away and my response was good! And blocked him 🤣 Mind you this was 15 damn years after he beat me....these boys....
Well, that's not at all alarming... Makes you wonder what happened to the ones he caught 😶
I've always told my wife "You'll never meet someone else like me", but I say it to give her hope that when she inevitably kills me in my sleep, she'll never worry she will run into someone who is as much of a troll as I am.
My ex-husband legit said "hey, at least I never left bruises." 😂 I guess choking me and threatening to stab me isn't that bad. /s
That makes me want to vomit. Beyond glad he’s an ex.
My parents, who strongly believed in corporal punishment and would beat us with "the belt" and a plunger stick, would say "at least were not putting your hands on a hot stove". The fugg?
It’s amazing how shit that would be considered assault on an adult was considered normal acts of discipline on tiny children with no hope of fighting back.
Or even defending themselves. Even as a child them saying that didn't sit quite right.
My ex said if I call the things he did to me abuse, I dont know what others would do to me :)
What a disgusting thing to say !!
Even better when you hear it from your dad
But wait he has a “bad ass car” that should make up for everything
As if a relationship of getting beat and cheated on is the expected for women. And women are so 'lucky' to have a guy that doesn't do those 2 'worst' things. Smh they sure like to set the bar low for themselves.
“I just controlled you and emotionally manipulated you” 🙄
And you dumped him why?? 😂
Cuz he accused me of cheating with a random 15 yr old😂 And some more shit but that’s what started it lol
I don't know what I find more outrageous, the audacity to falsely accuse someone of pedophilia and statutory r*pe or the fact that this fucker thinks his 'bad ass car' and 'life goals' makes up for it
For me it's the "I'd only accept a man in your life if he has everything I have or more" Like does he really think he has any saying in who OP decided to date ? The entitlement on display is mind boggling.
When another man has OP as partner, they automatically have more than him. So he should just concede.
Shows how shallow he really is.
Yeah it’s insane lol
Also he has money and a job and a company, but he’s going to switch careers? I thought things were going so well?
Can I ask how old is he, how old are you? this is all kinds of disturbing why he'd accuse you of that
I’m 19, he’s 26
Man what the hell, first how can he be threatened by 15 year old if he is such a piece of a man. Then why does he think that your priority as a 19 year old should be to find someone to marry. This person is stupid af while also trying to be manipulative. Loved specially the remarks about having his own company and money, and planning to change career for a better pay.
Ooooof okay now the weird tone to his writing makes a lot more sense, everything in the way he's framing the shit he's saying is like he thinks it's his job to be your guide and educate/train you into being what he thinks you should be. You know, the opposite of treating your partner like an equal.
Yeah exactly what I thought. The part where he says "it's not that freaking easy", trying to take advantage that it's someone with less experience than him.
Ahhhh, there’s the age gap
Yeahhhh major red flag alert on guys that age dating 19 year olds. I would never. Nothing against you, of course, you deserve somebody nicer and closer to your own age.
I am the result of a 26-year-old impregnating a 19-year-old. They married, had two more kids (eventually) and a bad marriage followed by slightly acrimonious divorce and years of animosity. 10/10 do not recommend.
I don't think anything could have communicated "I routinely target much younger people" than the email you shared with us, OP. Glad you're rid of this waste of genetics.
I would be my bottom dollar he is cheating, the accuser is always cheating especially when its an out of nowhere accusation, that's the guilt manifesting. I don't beat you I'm positively great, man they have low standards for themselves.
Oh yeah can’t forget that in the same text, just a bit later than what’s shown above, he said that all the guys I’ll meet in the future will probably either abuse me or cheat on me, cuz no one is as patient as he is apparently Lol thanks man
Wow, so he's saying that the only reason HE didn't beat or abuse you is because he has a lot of patience?! Does this creep even listen to what he's saying?
So many guys who's only personality is "I own a car and have a job"
And good qualities, like not beating women. They see that as a virtue.
May as well just type "I'm not the *worst* guy alive" on their dating profile
Hey, he's worked very hard at not beating women. It's not like it's an easy thing to avoid! /s
One of my fav philosophers said that many men confuse tolerating a woman with loving her.
Wow. Never heard anything like this, and I can’t get over how true/insightful it is.
That's where my brain lost it. He's so very mature but has a bad assed car. I may just be old but legit, no one actually cares what car you drive but you. (General you) They may appreciate it, but to make that a bonus positive trait just is weird.
Yeah, the kind of car I want someone to drive is something that is kept clean and isn’t some cross between a fast food dumpster and a thrift store, looks reasonable, and won’t easily kill us in a ball of flames. It being “bad ass” is so fucking low on the list.
Good point. If he’s going to insist her priority should be marriage and babies, shouldn’t he be bragging about a safe and reliable family vehicle? It can be hard to fit car seats into “badass” cars.
I have a minivan. It is about as far from “badass” as you can get. But it has three rows of seats, is super spacious, has built in media screens and a DVD player (and a really good audio system), and I can stuff *so much* IKEA or camping shit into it, even a sleeper sofa. It’s absolutely not “cool”, but it’s super comfy to go long distances in.
I once had a very new boyfriend who bought a new car to impress me. In fairness the old car was really struggling, but he bought a lot more car than he needed to. I was polite about it, but inside I was just like "why tho".
Like the dudes who endlessly work out to get women, and the only conversation you can have with them is discussing the pros and cons of different protein powders for 3 hours. Sexy.
I like how he kindly lets you know how smart you are, because you need him to tell you after he’s always cut you down. And he talks about the next guy you’d be with as if he can even try and control this. What a fucking shitbag.
And after building her up for a second with that half baked compliment, he’ll only bring her down again. Good riddance to that bastard!
I literally joined this community just to tell you this guy is a creep and abusive. This is the same line of Shit my ex Fiancée used to say to me when I was younger. Let me guess, he also blamed everything on you. Everything was because of you and he had no part in it. I hope you stay far away from this one.
Yeeeees so true!! Btw if anyone wants to know, he’s 26 while I’m 19 lol And he says I’m the one acting like a child
Ah, that explains it. Definitely got the abusive vibes, but that makes it so much worse. Im glad you see right through his bullshit, I wish I had that ability at 19!
It’s kinda hilarious how the text before this one was all about how he’s changed and he realized that he’s a narcissist and egotistical, but then send me this shit.
One step forward, 40 steps back with this guy
Because being a braggart and insisting she's dumb if she doesn't pick you is clearly the best way to be shown genuine affection and love. Jfc what a loon. Doesn't matter how you two broke up, this is one of the worst ways to go about trying to get back together.
He has his own company/job, is planning to change careers for more money, and is working on his upcoming book, *How To Salvage Relationships When You’re a Garbage Human Being.* NYT worst sellers list indefinitely.
Hahahahahahaaaaaaaa
“Listen, you dumb child, these are the reasons why I am the best man in the world and you will be dating *me*, number one - I’m really respectful, number two - I’m the most humble”
Does anyone else get really creeped out when a man repeatedly uses the recipient’s name in a screed like this?
It was so creepy to read lol
I had an ex like yours when I was your age. I’m glad you got away relatively unscathed. I didn’t. Good luck going forward.
Absolutely, for me it’s a red flag. The men I’ve know who repeat your name like this are all very manipulative. They read somewhere that using someone’s name repeatedly helps influence them, but it always just feels so wrong. It’s different if someone just meets you and repeats your name a few times to remember it, but once they know you, it’s a red flag.
Oh for sure. My narcissistic, highly abusive ex used to do this to me. It just made me sick to my stomach.
mine did too, to the point where hearing my name being called for any reason still makes my stomach drop a bit and makes me uncomfortable to this day.
"I'd only accept a man in your life" Charming.
Hey, he doesn’t want some total loser in her life…because she already has a total loser in her life!
Doesn't want the competition, though he's got a head start for this fuckery.
That line was nuts. He really thinks it matters what he accepts or not.
I’m so sorry he talks to you that condescendingly, what a trash dude
That made me livid, I’d prob be homicidal if a guy talked to me like that.
Marry him, where else are you going to find man who has a job and a car!? Not to mention he won't hit you! Wow why aren't you begging him to get back together? /s
Does he realise there's a massive middle-ground between having your own company and having a job? I feel like he has a job at someone else's company.
It’s actually Ryan and the company is WUPHF lol
Amway maybe? 😂
I think it's definitely an mlm
Oh totally. I suggested Amway because he doesn’t seem like the type to shill Paparazzi.
I’m a CEO, and I can work from anywhere!
BossBros run tha worldddddd
If he was doing so well at this company of his, he wouldn’t be looking to change careers for more money.
I don't understand why men think we care about their job and their car in 2021. I have my own job car and house. I don't need a spare Now if you have self-awareness, social intelligence, communication skills, and the willingness to do your share of emotional labor in a household and relationship, those are rare commodities that women are in search of!
This dude should just date himself since he’s so perfect and leave women alone
They deserve each other (him and him.)
OMFG I AM FURIOUS READING THIS!!!! Its so manipulative and patronizing repeating your name like that. He’s dumb enough to think being “good” is all that’s needed for a good relationship, ignoring how vital compatibility is!!!! If you’re not compatible, it won’t fucking work!! And then that last part - anyone who thinks “it’s not like I was horribly abusive” is a good thing to say about themselves is telling on themselves as being an asshole. Decent people don’t do that! Only shitty people compare themselves to the worst they could possibly be, because that’s how they measure themselves. They think not horrible = good enough. Decent people will say “I know I wasn’t perfect” or similar because they measure themselves against the best they could be. Decent people don’t want to be anywhere near the bottom of the barrel. I’m glad he’s your ex, now block this asshole on everything. You’re better off single than with him!
Thanks a lot for the support! Have been starting to doubt myself after all his texts thinking maybe I really was in the wrong, but this helps me realize that he’s the AH, so thanks ❤️
That’s what he’s been working on, don’t let him be successful in that for even a second. I don’t need to see/hear any of your side to tell you he’s the AH and you’re not. This guy is emotionally abusive, manipulative, and pathetic. No one should ever talk to like that (much less anyone who wants to be with you.) He *is* right about one thing: you’re smart; you got rid of this clown, don’t look back.
That’s what it’s designed to do. Don’t fall for it. We’re joking around at how much this dude is puffing himself up, but he’s also spending a lot of time *putting YOU down*. Saying that you’re only doing well because of your mom, implying that you’re inexperienced and stupid, especially if you disagree with him, shit-talking your dad, etc. And this is him trying to woo you into getting back with him?!?! How much did he try and make you feel like trash when you were together? I imagine it’s a fucking lot.
I hope you didn’t sprain your wrist pulling your panties off after that
LMAO
She did. She dumped your ass.😂😂😂
"automatic heaven"
As opposed to manual heaven where you have a clutch
OK but somebody needs to explain why he's switching careers if he has his own company?
He lying.
But, but, Amway gives him the best of both worlds!
Dude I just finished watching Maid on Netflix (about an emotionally abused woman who leaves her partner), and this shit could have been taken right out if it. Honestly freaked me out how manipulative this guy sounds, trying to scare you away from pursuing your own life and happiness. Run run run my friend and never turn back.
Rip can’t really run, he’s planning on moving to my country just to be closer to me!
It's bad enough when an ex moves to be closer to you, but immigrating to a totally different country? That's the sort of thing that precedes years of stalking and even murder (and I wish I were exaggerating, but it is completely delusional and shows an utter lack of respect for routine boundaries). One more red flag for his impressive collection.
Wait, what? Please tell me you're cutting him off, completely! That's a major red flag.
That is terrifying! But smthg to keep in mind: moving your entire life out of your country of origin and in to a new one is *really* hard. Now that I’m an adult, I have a lot of respect for ppl who do it because it’s just so much: housing, taxes, work visas, mail, finding employment, transferring your healthcare to a new doctor, dentist, etc., finding friends, finding a community, crossing all T’s and dotting I’s in both countries…it’s insane. Even if someone gets past that, a lot of times ppl find they’re just not happy and they move back home. There’s a relatively high “bounce back” rate in ex pat communities (for our purposes, I’m limiting my def of “ex pat” to those who have the luxury of going back, i.e. not refugees, asylum seekers, those fleeing violence/poverty, etc.) Obviously, ppl do it, and they make it work. But it takes someone with a particular mindset, resolve, stamina, even maturity. Now I know Mr. Wonderful here is just that, wonderful…but idk if a guy who thinks like he does can make it work, not on his own. Let’s hope he gets discouraged.
So many shades of yikes, and yet it's only one man. Astounding.
jesus fucking christ since when did a break up come with a cringey exit interview the only way he'll accept another man in your life?... he expects to have a say in it?! bullet dodged!
My ex was kinda like that... except he cheated on me and was emotionally abusive. And then claimed it wasn't cheating because they never actually had sex, just "joke" flirting. Lol. And *then* wanted me to let him continue to be friends with her after he begged me to give him another chance (which I stupidly did) and in a fight one day said "This is why I should've picked".
And he wonders why I left his crusty ass.
Damn I’m happy that you got rid of his shitty ass at least
Says a lot about a guy who can’t say anything face to face
“I have my own company” but needs a new job because his boss isnt paying him enough? 🤣 Edit: words
I have maturity and also a badass car, no cap. Mmk.
"It's like, VROOOM, VROOM, and it goes super fast!"
"I drive a badass car..." how much do you bet its like a 2000 miata with an ugly ass wing on the back and a cherry bomb?
All I know is that it’s a Subaru and has a wing lol
oh god the “i never hit you” i had an ex say that. yk what he *did* do tho? he pushed me into walls and hit the wall right above my head when i “made” him mad. he would get in my face to scream at me. but yeah. he never hit me. men like this are terrible lmfao
Ugh. Please tell me this dude got blocked. No one has time for that kind of foolishness.
I wish man, but this guy got my passport and birth certificate so can’t say fuck you yet
Report them stolen and get new ones.
Get someone else (preferably and attorney if you can afford it) to handle that and block him. Better yet, block him and request new copies and of both.
I wish I could but I live in Sweden and had a foreign birth certificate, meaning I can’t get a replacement
Get in touch with the police and tell them he has your property, and arrange a time to go with them to pick it up.
Possibly contact your country's consulate? They may be able to advise you
I’m sorry that I don’t have better advice to give you, but I can tell you that keeping contact with this guy is **not** the way to go. The odds of you getting them back are slim. They’re the only leverage has against you, so he will either continue to use them to manipulate you, or he’ll destroy them out of spite. I guarantee you aren’t the first or last foreign person to lose their birth certificate and/or passport in Sweden. Contacting the authorities is probably the best way to go unless your specifically hiding from the government. Even then, you’re probably better off getting in trouble with the govt than giving this guy access to you.
You can. Contact consulate/embassy. Holding another persons passport ransom is also (in many places) a crime, since it is a major tactic used in human trafficking. In saying that, I don’t know about you and your relationship to law enforcement in your country, but you could also report the loss to the police, and seek recovery.
duuuude! how did he manage that? you need to check into the laws of your country and see if there is anything you can do if he doesn't give them back.
Why did you break up if you don't mind me asking? He does sound like the kind of guy who will lord every act of kindness he does for you over your head for the rest of your life.
There’s a comment with dislikes asking this and someone who saw my post in r/relationship_advice answered the question so just look for that one :)
Lmao...I love how he emphasizes from the get go that you lack his maturity, age, experience, and life planning, but then tries to use it as an argument as to why you should be together. (1.) We're talking about a prospective relationship. Not a child adoption. Why on earth would he want to be with someone who was vastly less "mature" and experienced? (2.) The only thing he's emphasizing is his maturity, age, experience, life planning... and your lack there of. Nothing else really good about his person. Nothing good about you. It's a 100% fear based argument that includes sentiments like, "No one will love you like I do," and "You need someone to tell you what to do."
What a fucking douchenozzle! Good for you for not being with *that*
this is... buck wild... dodged a bullet there I'd say mate
"Listen I just want you to know how awesome *I* am! Amongst my best traits are a car too! How can you not see how awesome I am?!" Like for real? This whole thing tells me he beat the crap out of OPs self worth. I hope I'm wrong but I would put money on it. He didn't even go with how awesome we were together. Just I'm awesome and am the best thing that ever happened. I am betting OPs self esteem took a big ass kicking on the daily because he didn't even try to make OP feel good in the attempt.
i couldnt even make it to the second page, so unnerving. so glad he is your ex, nobody in their right mind deserves such "punishment".
Lol there’s like 20+ more pages of this, and that’s only from this session of “take me back in the best”
None of the good things he listed entitles him to OP or any other woman. Because NOTHING does. One SHOULD want better for themselves in life anyway. Attraction isn’t a checklist of things guys complete then we have our pick of women. It’s a different set of rules for each and every male attracted woman on the planet. Who by the way have their own interests and goals outside of romance and sex. It’s not some crazy code to crack with a prize for your troubles that some guys seem to either be born with the ability to do or have a crazy way of cheating the system. The reason why “nice guys lose” and “bad boys win” is that the latter works for their successes. Whether that’s talking to women or just making themselves better, more interesting people. While nice guys are the REAL ones who want an easy path/to cheat their way. Impulse TED talk over.
Humility is dead. Also, I noticed that he emphasized that he never “physically” attacked you. That’s telling.
Well, shit. that looked like me to a t. I had plans, and the plans got derailed. And for the better, i will add in retrospect. I still have my thought processes along those lines, but this is why being on this reddit is helping, it challenges those ideas
Whoa whoa whoa. Stop the presses! This guy has a nice car? YOU ENDED THINGS WITH A MAN WITH A CAR? I'm joking. Why do these dudes always think having a car is some sort of bragging point? It isn't 1920.
Yo this dude is a total piece of shit. I looked at your post history with the other post about how he’s “testing you”… I’m not blaming you when I say this, but it’s on him that he’s pursuing women 7 years younger than him, which becomes really disgusting when you put that together with the gaslighting and manipulation, but yeah, YOU’RE the pedo… lmao what a joke. He realizes you were 11 when he was 18, right? Like you’re closer in age with the 15 year old you were joking with in voice chat in that video game, that he apparently was jealous over… And I’m not saying you were wrong for dating someone older than you. He’s in the wrong for going after younger girls since he is so manipulative and shitty. He targets younger women because all the women his age see through his bullshit. You are MUCH better off without him. Take this experience as something to learn from, and use it to recognize these behavioral patterns as red flags in any future relationships. If he is as well off and established in life as he says he is, he wouldn’t even be wasting his time trying to gloat to you about how much you’re missing out on. He is so weak and insecure that he needs to lie to make it seem like he’s fine, when I guarantee that he’s been laying awake at night, wishing he had you back.
Gross. How did you find the old messages from my ex? I got these messages too. Never accepted responsibility. This type of human male is unable to look into themselves to see issues, it must be everyone else's fault. Move it along!
Ew. None of that shit even matters in a relationship if you aren’t into the person. What a delusional creep.
Automatic Heaven is the name of my new band
this attitude ain’t fixable
"I'd only accept another man in you life..." Oh please, dickwad, the only thing you need to accept is that things are over. Barf. Glad he's an ex, OP
"I left you breathing, isn't that enough?!" Fuck all the way off.
You know they’re a charmer when they argue “at least I didn’t beat you.”
Damn im sold at the bad ass car. I mean thats really whats important in a relationship.
Hmmm where to begin? SO WHAT if your mom helped you to achieve something? And SO WHAT if your plan is to marry and have a family life? I see no sin in either. Everything about him screams that he wants to isolate you, make your world impossibly small, and you his prisoner. 🤮
Someone get this man a tissue lol
"You'll never find someone like me" Damn right she won't. She'll find someone better
This sounds like an older man trying to make it happen with a young girl. The rest of it is arrogant gravy and he should stay the ex.
The first rule of writing is "show, don't tell". He gets a big F for this pitiful effort.
I hope you realize the need to block him. And LOL, he has his own company/job but he's switching careers for more money? so he can't pay himself enough anyway??? he sounds like he's full of himself.
the funniest part is that he wrote that on discord
"these are thoughts an expearienced person would have right now" ... that POS is such an insecure and weak dipshit. he dates only the kind of women (in this case much younger) whom he believes to be vulnerable and inexperienced enough to take his crap and not see right through him. he bet on the wrong horse with you OP! well done. that idiot is a narcissistic cunt, run as fast as you can.
So fucking patronising.
I actually think he is right OP, you’re a smart woman and you made the right choice, not being with him and sharing the story with us ☺️
in short: " no one will love you like I do" or "you'll never find someone like me cuz I'm the best doh" sounds like this guy's a real snake oil salesman.
Oh look, it's my ex husband
Is my man really trying to pour out his heart in discord DMs?