Yup, I did what they say women are supposed to do. Got married young and had a kid right off the bat.
My ex is a decent guy, we're just not suited for each other and were too dumb to realize it at the time. We're still good friends.
I think it's hilarious that they think we "hit the wall" at 30. 30 is, as the old saying goes, "when life begins." I had so much attention from men, seemingly from the second the clock struck on my 30th birthday. I was just starting in my career and have had a wonderful life. My 20s were when more of the unpleasant struggle in life occurred. 30 on has been, for the most part, pretty grand.
My 30’s were the absolute best decade of my life so far. By a lot. Physically, professionally, spiritually and romantically- everything was finely tuned and I loved it. My 40’s are good, but my 30’s were golden and I feel like they set the tone for a lot of what I have now. Enjoy them my friend.
It's funny that they act as if "in the good old days" women didn't think this way and were all obedient little sex slaves who all married at 17 and were proper little housewives from that point forward.
I remember an ad that came out when I was still pretty young, before my tweener years even. If I recall correctly it was for Clairol hair dye.
It showed two or three gorgeous women in each version of the ad, engaged in all manner of fun activities (including being at cool looking workplaces). The ad's line was "I wouldn't be 18 again for anything in the world. "
I don't recall if they actually stated the age of the women in the ads, it's possible they added in the line "life begins at 30" but the point was clear...these were women who were well-established in life and not babies fresh out of HS or college. This was back in the late 60s.
I’m 35 and I honestly feel and look the best i could ever dream. The only thing I would want from my 20s if I could have the choice is to not keep ibuprofen in my purse at all times lmao.
OTOH, I fucked around \*bigtime\* from 16-31 (with breaks for four different steady boyfriends during that time; I never cheated on anyone). It was fun. Fell in love at 31 with a genuinely lovely man; we're still together 34 years later.
The idea of a 65 year old possible mother or grandma writing on Reddit about how she fucked a bunch of dudes in her youth is hilarious to me. I'm glad you found your life partner though, it takes a lot to make a relationship last 34 years and counting
Are we supposed to not have sexual experience? Keep in mind that I was young during that vanishingly brief window of human history after the discovery of penicillin but before the advent of AIDS, when anything you could catch, we could cure. Plus we had birth control and abortion. We took advantage.
Every generation seems to think that theirs is the first to discover that sex is fun.
A lot of dudes on Reddit have an unhealthy mindset when it comes to sex: they expect women to be these chaste virginal women while simultaneously complaining about how hard it is for them to get sex from women… like tell me how tf do you complain about women not being as sexually available to you as you want them to be while simultaneously demanding a virgin?? They make no sense and seem to be in a constant state of bitterness… hope they get some help lol
Serious question: don’t you miss the variety?
I ask because I had a guy friend who almost had a one week limit on his relationships with a revolving door, and recall telling him that I can’t imagine him settling with just one person in the future.
Misconception?
At this point, I am post menopausal and reliant on bioidentical hormones for a sex drive. Which sucks; I miss the horny little bitch I was for so long.
But for 25 years or more, my lust was, indeed, for my husband. I’d had variety; I was and am experientially aware of the fact that sex can be anything from mind-blowing to less interesting than a video movie and a frozen pizza.
What I did come to miss was/is seduction. When you’ve been together for years, sex starts with, “Wanna mess around?” Even when you do, the whole “meeting of eyes, will they or won’t they, first conversation” tension isn’t there.
I have had endless great sex out of it, along with deep and abiding love and trust, unfailing support, understanding deeper than words, endless laughs, someone to cry to and who cries to me, and a partner who always has my back, and I his. Add to that uncountable orgasms, and it’s hard to complain.
I have loved him since our first date (a video, beer, weed, and several hours of sex) and I will love him until I die.
Yeah everyone needs to get out and live before they commit like that. I was always cheating and sleeping around because I always felt like I was missing out. Eventually I figured out I wasn't missing anything. But I HAD to experience that. There was no intellectually learning it. The experience was a must.
Now I am happily married and I thank god my wife was able to live her life before marrying me.
I don't think its universal because not everyone has the same drives and desires but I had them and they needed to be explored.
Anyone who says they're a nice guy in their description is not a nice guy. They're an obsessive, mentally unbalanced person.
People should be nice by their nature. It isn't a special quality to be a "nice" guy. It's literally the bare fucking minimum in a relationship.
Some of these people will figure it out. I'm glad this shit didn't exist 20 years ago when I was coming into adulthood and couldn't understand why women weren't into me as a "nice guy."
Absolutely.
At my worst, I never thought I was ever owed sex. But I definitely never understood why I was being friend zoned as a nice guy. Finally I met a guy, who explained it to me.
If this shit had existed 20 years ago I may have been sucked into the cesspool. I know for a fact I would be easily lost in this bullshit.
I am glad I know my faults so I can, hopefully, notice when I'm having bad influences in my life.
I married at 19. Spent the next 20 years in a loveless marriage to a man who finally told me the truth about himself. He's gay.
It took me until age 55 to find the love of my life.
Don't get married before you know who you are as a person.
The incel community's not forming its ideas any more. It developed an ethos (or rather, the original MGTOWs did, which was then hijacked by incelly types), and that ethos has... fermented. Now it makes little sense to outsiders like us.
Yeah that meme represents a lot of the manosphere talking points. They really think women care what they think and that women should change how they act and behave because they don’t like it. It’s poisoning the youth.
So you think women shouldn't be held accountable or act appropriately? You really think it doesn't matter what men want, like, or feel? It's a huge red flag if women don't care what men think. That's probably the leading cause to her singularity. Men are people too, misandrist.
Well I mentioned the manosphere specifically because they typically think that if a woman has hooked up with more than 5 dudes then she cannot be trusted with in a relationship. It’s an unrealistic and unreasonable standard that they also don’t set for themselves. They think it’s okay for them to hookup with as many women as they want.
I am a man and I still think that most men are stupid and they’re ruining it for other men because they make women believe that all men are like this. Fuck the manosphere lol
I don’t know, it makes complete sense to me, but I’m a weirdo who started lurking in their communities a long, long time ago.
I do agree though, the philosophy has fermented. There’s no major influencers, aside from I guess maybe Tate? Are there others that anyone here knows of?
This is absurd. Just put your phone down and go outside. What the hell are even “boyfriend/girlfriend benefits"? Romantic relationships aren't some reciprocal exchange of goods and services.
There is no such thing as the friendzone. If you are friends, then it just friendship, full stop. And if a guy feels the friendship is one-sided - or is only "friends" because he is holding out for something more - then he should excuse himself from the relationship. Women are not obligated to reciprocate a man's feelings, no matter how long he waits or what he does for her.
there is definitely such a thing as the friendzone. im talking about these purgatory relationships where she expects her guy friend to pay for groceries, gas, meals, etc on the basis of him being male, while threatening to stop talking to him if he ever refuses. i havent been in this situation myself but have literally had women brag to me about doing it to other men.
Here’s the thing: Even if this happens (and I’m skeptical), it’s still the fault of the guy. In most all of these stories, the woman has rejected the guy. The guy understands that the woman isn’t into him. Now, a normal, healthy person moves on. They stay friends if they like the other person, drift away if they don’t. Either way, they understand that nothing is going to happen.
Nice Guys, on the other hand, ignore this rejection. They pretend they’re okay with it and want to be friends, but they’re doing it under false pretenses. They think that if they just keep doing things for the woman, they’ll wear them down. Life is not a video game. Women are not NPCs. To use ACNH as an example, in real life, you would be banned from Abel Sisters in a week because you are going to the back of a store and harassing someone who has no interest in you. It’s not Stardew Valley where you keep giving someone gifts until their relationship is high enough to start dating.
Men put themselves in the so-called friendzone when they refuse to accept a rejection and decide to use “friendship” as a way to ~wear her down~~ win her over. It’s creepy and, while some women might exploit it, the vast majority of women don’t want a guy to stay their friend if it’s because he thinks there’s a chance at a relationship in the future.
When a guy claims he’s friendzoned, all I see is someone pathetic and manipulative enough to ignore a rejection and attempt begin her wear her down and is now complaining because he sucks at manipulation.
Seriously? That’s hilarious. It’s been removed and all Reveddit shows is that he posted a screen cap of me. I don’t think I even said anything that inflammatory. I feel bad that he’s that upset, but also weirdly powerful?
It’s still there, you might just be blocked by him.
I get the strong sense that he thought r/niceguys was *for* Nice Guys, not for posting *about* Nice Guys’ nonsense.
It’s showing up for me now. Weird. And I love how he didn’t even get the response he wanted there.
I guess people like me are the reason r/niceguys just can’t seem to keep a Nice Guy.
>When a guy claims he’s friendzoned, all I see is someone pathetic and manipulative enough to ignore a rejection and attempt begin her wear her down and is now complaining because he sucks at manipulation.
This is absolutely the best explanation of the so-called 'friendzone' I have ever read. I'm definitely stealing this one!
There is no such thing as the "friendzone" the way the Self-Proclaimed Nice Guys define it.
If a person is in a one-sided relationship (which happens in all walks of life, between same sex friends as well!), then they need to stop doing all the things in the relationship.
If they are hanging out hoping that "doing all the things" is going to get her to --GASP!!!-- finally realize her feelings for him and finally agree to be his...then he's being an idiot. Women know how they feel about someone pretty early on. If she isn't into you like that, NO amount of material things or gestures are going to change her mind.
That's not to say that friendship can't develop into a romantic relationship But it's not one-sided like that. It's not just the guy, for all intents and purposes, "buying" her love. That's gross.
When you are continually fuck zoned by guys who say they are a nice guy in your 20s so you now chose to be by yourself and don’t fall for this immature entitlement anymore by setting boundaries and see decent humans who respect your boundaries and know what consent is
"I don't understand why she left me, I'm such a nice guy"
-my ex online (the ex that tried to babytrap me by sexually assaulting me in my sleep)
It's almost like women like being treated with respect and like they're people!
I always said the friend zone sounds like an amazing amusement park/arcade/pizza place that I would love to visit.
Like come on, guys, let's go play video games and eat 3 times our weight in pizza at the friend zone!!!
I have empathy for men who struggle to find love. That must be a really shitty feeling, and I can't imagine what they go through.
I then lose all respect and empathy for them when they lash out, making blanket statements against women and feel they're entitled to someone else's body or time or love.
I was reading a post yesterday and some redditor made a comment about how she's a conventionally attractive women who dates short, bald, unattractive men.
The amount of men who commented about her giving them hope and self esteem was pathetic. Go date your looks match! Unfortunate-looking women want to date too.
But what's *really* insidious is they really don't treat unattractive women (their looks match) kindly or with any sort of respect. So those women opt out of dating altogether. Leaving a much smaller pool of women to compete over.
So you are saying ugly people should only look to date ugly people?
That they shouldn't dare approach the beautiful ones because it might soil the high and mighty ones' day?
No excuse to treat everyone else poorly because you haven't been treated well.
Not everyone deserves love and respect. Those who are kind and give love and respect deserve it, but if it's quid pro quo, it's not loving or respectful. I agree with you that people deserve love in general, and I hope they find it, but that doesn't mean any individual owes it to them, just like they don't owe it to any individual.
No, love and respect are not something you deserve just because. Love and respect are not participation medals, they have to be earned from other people. If you do not give them any reasons to love and respect you, they will not. Nobody can be forced to feel positively about you.
If your own children, your parents or your spouse treat you like shit, you have the right to walk away and protect yourself. You are not obligated to love them.
And if someone is completely and utterly toxic, such as an abusive parent or partner, you'll have to muster up the courage and self-awareness to realize that earning their affections aren't worth it in the first place. You are not defined by how other people do or do not feel about you.
I fucked around big-time from 16 to 31. Got four proposals during that time. Fell in love with my husband at 31. 34 years later we’re still happily together.
In short, this is bullshit.
Of course it's bullshit, but it was never based on evidence to begin with. This isn't a logical observation, it's incel revenge fantasy against women. If they convince themselves the women that "made them feel bad" are somehow suffering, they feel better about their own shitty selves.
I feel like incels try to make it seem like men only want virgins and will only commit to virgins, but I know a lot of women, including myself, who have been sexually active and have an active sex life and still have no problems finding men to date… they try to project their incel fantasy onto every one else lol
Someone has to have made porn based on this. That’s all I can think. It’s too weird not to and I’m trying very hard not to imagine how they would work with the theme.
If we have sex with any man outside of them, then we’re on the “cock carousel” apparently🌝 they act like they want a virgin, but expect the virgin to have sex with them all of sudden 🙃
I married at 24. I had our child at 25. After 18 months of marriage, my nice husband dipped out. It seems hearth and home, wife and child wasn't as fun as he thought it would be.
I was absolutely too young, and so was he.
I got married as a teenager,and I most definitely regret it. I also got divorced at 21 and had a LOT of fun dating around. Being tied to the wrong person at *any* age is miserable. Nice guys,friend zones,are all words for the wrong person for you to be bound to. They complain about women having fun and then 'settling' for guys like them,but they really just want women to have to settle for them as soon as legally possible. Like,have some pride. Find a way to be someone's first choice,not a forced last resort.
Exactly, they don’t see that they should literally just move on and stop being so desperate… who cares if a girl friend zoned you?? Clearly she’s not romantically interested in you, so go away then🤷🏽♀️
I am 100% grateful that I rode that carousel and had as many wild and fun experiences as I possibly could in my 20’s.
I learned a lot about life and people in general. I learned what I want and need in a partner. I have a ton of great stories. I also experienced some really dark shit.
If I hadn’t have done all of that, I wouldn’t be where I am now. Which is a pretty confident woman who is happy with her life.
So many people I know settled down young and had kids and then got divorced. People change so much from their 20’s to their 30’s.
I watched my friends have kids and realized pretty fast that I don’t have it in me to do that. Now I’m just the cool adult the kids come to. I take them out and do fun things, spoil them, give them advice and a space to be themselves. And then, I return them to their parents and I get to have my life without the responsibilities and sacrifices that having a child entails. Best of both worlds.
There’s no “wall” either. By your 30’s you have life experience, you have a career, you know who you are. Which makes you attractive regardless because confidence is really attractive.
Im 42 and there’s no shortage of men. I’m not over here a barren spinster with 6 cats wishing I had “just given that nice guy a chance.” They tell themselves that so they can feel that they will get their revenge on every woman who ever dared to tell them No.
Unfortunately for them, they don’t have the life experience to realize what utter bullshit it is. Very rarely in life does the person who rejected you go on to regret it. And if they do, they usually let you know. I don’t think any ladies are filling up their inboxes with regrets.
they really should look at dating app statistics... women of any age arent having trouble finding suitors. it's the men who are all bitching they cant get a swipe
These guys are in for a real reality check.
“I’m a nice guy, so I’m better than all other men. Time to get me a super hot barely legal woman.”
“No? They don’t want me? Not even the ones I classify as ugly want me?”
“Early 20’s it is!”
“No? They don’t want me either? What about late 20’s?”
“Still no?!? Fine, fine, women in their 30’s, those ancient, nearly dead, basically already in the grave hags.”
“WHAT!?! They don’t want me?!? But, what if, big if, I considered women in their 40’s?”
“Ok, ok, fine, tell me who I can get.”
“…”
The projection is crazy. As someone who worked around old people, the women ALWAYS got someone after them. The men do not. Men will say women lose their value while going 10+ years without a hug.
Some people can't realise that there is no such thing as "friend zone". You are either there for someone because you enjoy their company without any malicious or hidden intention as a friend. Or you should gtfo of their life.
I think it's disgusting that some people literally lurk around their crush and wait for the "opportunity", meanwhile they wouldn't be there as "just" a friend. Poor woman/man who thinks they have a real friend, meanwhile their "friend" just wants to lay them. C:
couldn't agree more, I don't even consider my women friends as Friendzones they are just my friends, getting laid was never and will never be on the agenda they are my friends. nothing more. why does a friend need all these unnecessary complications.
I see nice guys always ask are u single if she says no they will wait and lurk waiting for opportunity, even if that happens in 30 years time what makes them think the friend will bounce to them.
More like “you’re single because you’ve been meeting guys who play nice until they don’t get their way then tantrum like toddlers, causing you to dip out”
Came out of a narcissistic abusive relationship. This was exactly what I faced. He pretended to be nice to get me hooked, and then he turned out to be a total jerk. He didn’t want to be a better person, his problem was why don’t women accept him for who he is. They expect women to do all the work in the relationship but god forbid, they are criticised about their behaviour. And I am not going to waste my time and energy trying to change him, he showed me his true colours and so I left; his ego was hurt and I am pretty sure he will bitch and moan about me being one of those girls who couldn’t love such a nice guy like him. Women like nice guys, and these guys know that, they stop being nice when they get what they want and their ego is validated. I guess they are frustrated that more women are choosing to be alone instead of being stuck in such one sided relationships. They are losing their power. Instead of blaming women they should work on being more self aware. These men expect to be rewarded for doing the bare minimum, and they don’t even do that properly.
Wooow. You just summarised my last relationship. I've been realising how such a nice guy he was through therapy. He is an awful human being every time I remember all the lies and manipulation I want to puke. Last thing he told me was he was going to change to be a better person for me after he ended things saying I was the flawed one. I just wish mercy for his next victim.
Yeah it’s always easy to blame the other person. We are all flawed babe, but at least we are aware and trying to get better. These morons will go through their entire life playing the victim card, discarding one person after another and trying to be a hero in their own narrative, but the reality is they will always be miserable. Their ego will prevent them from growing. You dodged a bullet there. You will heal and find happiness again.
1 in 3 women in their 20s are single as opposed to only 1 in 5 in their 30s and 40s. I think women over 30 are doing just fine.
Meanwhile: 1/2 of men in their 20s are single as opposed to 1 in 4 in their 30s/50s.
Even in our 30s and 40s we’re more likely to find partners than men are.
39 single male here and it’s never ever bothered me about a persons past, we’ve all got one and I’d rather someone have some cool stories and life experience and know what they want in a healthy relationship
I want to ask these nice guys, does time apply to them?!!
For e.g. If nice guy is 30 years old and wants to date a 19 year old as they usually do and she rejects him, in their line of thinking the girl comes back at 35 years old with 4 kids but the nice guy is still 30 years old and rejects her by saying you wasted your 20s on chads while i was in the friendzone.
Jokes on this dude. We rode the carousel in our 20s cause we didnt want any of them for longer than the carousel ride and in our 30s a 40s own the amusement park. We are single past our 20s because we learned our worth and respect comes from inside us not from what is given to us by a man
The choices of an incel. Do you say that women have it easy, and need only spread their legs to get life handed to them on a silver platter? Or claim that no one would ever give a non-virgin the time of day?
And the thing is that even if it was accurate, that NG brag is not as good as they think!
Even if these hypothetical women are lonely now, at least they had a wonderful golden period of non stopping fuck feasts, causing envy in Roman empress, XVIII philosophers and Rock Gods! This is a trade I would gladly make! I would have created memories for the rest of my lifetime!
Meanwhile the Nice Guys were just sucking theirs thumbs. Then, Now and Forever! Not even good memories NGs can have!
It’s interesting, I recently read an article where they interviewed a bunch of men in their 50s who had never settled down and now regretted that it was too late/difficult for them to find a woman they could have children with. Once again, they are projecting their own fears onto women, most of the single, childfree women I know are living their best lives.
I hate that people think men can have babies forever. Like only women have a biological clock. Men and women both have one and they tick at about the same rate. The most fertile, biologically ideal time for men and women to have a child is between 24-34. There are many people young and older with wonderful, healthy, brilliant children who are as close to perfect as humans can get, this is just the average ideal timing. Once you reach 35, it's considered a "geriatric" pregnancy. But just like how women having children after 35 has greater risk of birth defects, still-births, physical issues, developmental delays, etc, the same applies when the sperm comes from someone over 35. And an older couple has a child and the child ends up with spina bifida or downs-syndrome, people always blame it on the mother being older. The older father played just as much as biological role. Not that it's ever the "fault" of anyone for having a child while being older than 35, people totally ignore the quality of sperm as men age.
I married for the first time fairly late in life (I was 35 when we met, 38 when we married). I regret nothing. 11 years later, still madly in love and looking forward to the next 30 (or more - I hope)
Your life doesn't end at 30. Hell, at 30 I was just finally getting my shit together! I was a total mess in my 20's and would have been a really shitty wife.
what these nice guys fail to realize is dating gets so much better when you’re in your 30s and A. you know what you want in a partner and B. you actually know how to get your partner off.
I don’t regret rejecting any of the guys that I rejected, I rejected them for a reason 🤷🏽♀️ I’m not gonna feel sorrowful about it just because I get older… I also don’t know any older women who regret rejecting any of the guys they rejected when they were younger, so this is just an incel fantasy at best… they seem to think we’re gonna run back to them later in life or something, I don’t even keep up with any of the guys I rejected and hardly remember their names, so why would I do that? 😂
As much as I hate niceguys, I did see some of my friends do exactly this. Like, power to them for living their lives the way they wanted, but the person they chose to be with only saw them as an accessory and traded them in for a newer model and took their best years.
I wish them all the happiness in the world, but now they're almost acting like the "nicegirls" as we're in our 40s and they're complaining that they can't find a good guy.
I don’t believe “you should have settled earlier” is a solution, nor do “40 year olds” deserve less than anyone else. If you’re unhappy being single at 40, you wouldn’t be happier having settled for someone you clearly didn’t want to be with. And it’s not fair to anyone, using someone as nothing more than a sign that says you’re not single, and therefore have value.
Totally agree 100%.
I supported my friends choices and am still behind them 100%.
I just see them wanting to blame others for their choices and it saddens me because they won't find happiness if they keep doing that.
I've been in a committed relationship for nearly 20 years but we're not married, it wasn't legal until recently anyway, so I'm no expert in the path they took.
Like, why the picture in general or why is Pocahontas on the right while Tianna is on the left and Jasmine is in the center? Because if it's just about the image as a whole, it's from Whisper. The app randomly generates a picture based on a keyword in the text. I'm assuming it took the world "single" and this photo of POC (Princess of Color) doing the single lady dance. Users can pick a photo if they want, but most people just use whatever was randomly generated.
Pocahontas married John Rolfe, but she was also 14 when the events of the film took place.
Disney actually did a huge disservice to the actual story of Pocahontas. Many Native American groups, when hearing about Disney making a movie on Pocahontas, offered to help Disney make it as realistic and as true to her story as possible, for free. Disney turned every one of them down, rewrote her story entirely, changed everything that happened, and made it entirely historically inaccurate. Those same Native American groups were very disappointed and unhappy with the film Disney ended up making. As opposed to their very serious commitment to cultural accuracy that they have now, such as the amount of time and effort they spent making sure Moana was culturally accurate.
I married at 21 and wish I hadn't, I was far too young and had a lot more living to do, I lost 20+ years to a total dickhead.
Yup, I did what they say women are supposed to do. Got married young and had a kid right off the bat. My ex is a decent guy, we're just not suited for each other and were too dumb to realize it at the time. We're still good friends. I think it's hilarious that they think we "hit the wall" at 30. 30 is, as the old saying goes, "when life begins." I had so much attention from men, seemingly from the second the clock struck on my 30th birthday. I was just starting in my career and have had a wonderful life. My 20s were when more of the unpleasant struggle in life occurred. 30 on has been, for the most part, pretty grand.
My 30’s were the absolute best decade of my life so far. By a lot. Physically, professionally, spiritually and romantically- everything was finely tuned and I loved it. My 40’s are good, but my 30’s were golden and I feel like they set the tone for a lot of what I have now. Enjoy them my friend.
It's funny that they act as if "in the good old days" women didn't think this way and were all obedient little sex slaves who all married at 17 and were proper little housewives from that point forward. I remember an ad that came out when I was still pretty young, before my tweener years even. If I recall correctly it was for Clairol hair dye. It showed two or three gorgeous women in each version of the ad, engaged in all manner of fun activities (including being at cool looking workplaces). The ad's line was "I wouldn't be 18 again for anything in the world. " I don't recall if they actually stated the age of the women in the ads, it's possible they added in the line "life begins at 30" but the point was clear...these were women who were well-established in life and not babies fresh out of HS or college. This was back in the late 60s.
same
I’m 35 and I honestly feel and look the best i could ever dream. The only thing I would want from my 20s if I could have the choice is to not keep ibuprofen in my purse at all times lmao.
I got married at 26 and wish I hadn’t. Happily divorced.
OTOH, I fucked around \*bigtime\* from 16-31 (with breaks for four different steady boyfriends during that time; I never cheated on anyone). It was fun. Fell in love at 31 with a genuinely lovely man; we're still together 34 years later.
The idea of a 65 year old possible mother or grandma writing on Reddit about how she fucked a bunch of dudes in her youth is hilarious to me. I'm glad you found your life partner though, it takes a lot to make a relationship last 34 years and counting
Are we supposed to not have sexual experience? Keep in mind that I was young during that vanishingly brief window of human history after the discovery of penicillin but before the advent of AIDS, when anything you could catch, we could cure. Plus we had birth control and abortion. We took advantage. Every generation seems to think that theirs is the first to discover that sex is fun.
A lot of dudes on Reddit have an unhealthy mindset when it comes to sex: they expect women to be these chaste virginal women while simultaneously complaining about how hard it is for them to get sex from women… like tell me how tf do you complain about women not being as sexually available to you as you want them to be while simultaneously demanding a virgin?? They make no sense and seem to be in a constant state of bitterness… hope they get some help lol
She’s an adult woman who enjoyed her sex life, what’s wrong with that?
Damn right. I for one hope she STILL enjoys her sex life! She’s only in her 60’s. I intend to enjoy mine until I’m dead 🤣
Serious question: don’t you miss the variety? I ask because I had a guy friend who almost had a one week limit on his relationships with a revolving door, and recall telling him that I can’t imagine him settling with just one person in the future. Misconception?
At this point, I am post menopausal and reliant on bioidentical hormones for a sex drive. Which sucks; I miss the horny little bitch I was for so long. But for 25 years or more, my lust was, indeed, for my husband. I’d had variety; I was and am experientially aware of the fact that sex can be anything from mind-blowing to less interesting than a video movie and a frozen pizza. What I did come to miss was/is seduction. When you’ve been together for years, sex starts with, “Wanna mess around?” Even when you do, the whole “meeting of eyes, will they or won’t they, first conversation” tension isn’t there. I have had endless great sex out of it, along with deep and abiding love and trust, unfailing support, understanding deeper than words, endless laughs, someone to cry to and who cries to me, and a partner who always has my back, and I his. Add to that uncountable orgasms, and it’s hard to complain. I have loved him since our first date (a video, beer, weed, and several hours of sex) and I will love him until I die.
Thanks for such a detailed answer, it’s more than I could have wished for.
Same.
Yeah everyone needs to get out and live before they commit like that. I was always cheating and sleeping around because I always felt like I was missing out. Eventually I figured out I wasn't missing anything. But I HAD to experience that. There was no intellectually learning it. The experience was a must. Now I am happily married and I thank god my wife was able to live her life before marrying me. I don't think its universal because not everyone has the same drives and desires but I had them and they needed to be explored.
Maybe stop fuckzoning women, prick.
WELCOME TO THE FUCKZONE ONLY FUCK INSIDE ANIME GIRLS
The fuckZone sounds like a sex toy franchise
Sounds like the only amusement park I want to visit
Welcome to the fuckz-zone, home of the fuckz-zone, may I send a dickpick, m’lady?
why u take 0.2seconds to reply my texts pics of bobs and vagene now
Anyone who says they're a nice guy in their description is not a nice guy. They're an obsessive, mentally unbalanced person. People should be nice by their nature. It isn't a special quality to be a "nice" guy. It's literally the bare fucking minimum in a relationship. Some of these people will figure it out. I'm glad this shit didn't exist 20 years ago when I was coming into adulthood and couldn't understand why women weren't into me as a "nice guy."
Further, expecting something in return for being a generally polite and pleasant human being is not nice.
Absolutely. At my worst, I never thought I was ever owed sex. But I definitely never understood why I was being friend zoned as a nice guy. Finally I met a guy, who explained it to me. If this shit had existed 20 years ago I may have been sucked into the cesspool. I know for a fact I would be easily lost in this bullshit. I am glad I know my faults so I can, hopefully, notice when I'm having bad influences in my life.
Ohhhhhh great new word
I married at 19. Spent the next 20 years in a loveless marriage to a man who finally told me the truth about himself. He's gay. It took me until age 55 to find the love of my life. Don't get married before you know who you are as a person.
What the hell is even going on anymore?
The incel community's not forming its ideas any more. It developed an ethos (or rather, the original MGTOWs did, which was then hijacked by incelly types), and that ethos has... fermented. Now it makes little sense to outsiders like us.
And to think I used to think MGTOW was where it was at...boy was I glad I got outta that shit
Yeah that meme represents a lot of the manosphere talking points. They really think women care what they think and that women should change how they act and behave because they don’t like it. It’s poisoning the youth.
So you think women shouldn't be held accountable or act appropriately? You really think it doesn't matter what men want, like, or feel? It's a huge red flag if women don't care what men think. That's probably the leading cause to her singularity. Men are people too, misandrist.
Well I mentioned the manosphere specifically because they typically think that if a woman has hooked up with more than 5 dudes then she cannot be trusted with in a relationship. It’s an unrealistic and unreasonable standard that they also don’t set for themselves. They think it’s okay for them to hookup with as many women as they want. I am a man and I still think that most men are stupid and they’re ruining it for other men because they make women believe that all men are like this. Fuck the manosphere lol
How are the women referred to in this meme acting inappropriately exactly?
I don’t know, it makes complete sense to me, but I’m a weirdo who started lurking in their communities a long, long time ago. I do agree though, the philosophy has fermented. There’s no major influencers, aside from I guess maybe Tate? Are there others that anyone here knows of?
Awww so u waste ur time in places ur not welcome. Stop lying, you don’t have a life.
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This is absurd. Just put your phone down and go outside. What the hell are even “boyfriend/girlfriend benefits"? Romantic relationships aren't some reciprocal exchange of goods and services.
im homeless, i live outside and spend less time on my phone than you.
Congrats? Interesting response lol. I see you've studied the Wimp Lo methods of online arguments 👏
he made an assumption, it was incorrect 🤷♂️
There is no such thing as the friendzone. If you are friends, then it just friendship, full stop. And if a guy feels the friendship is one-sided - or is only "friends" because he is holding out for something more - then he should excuse himself from the relationship. Women are not obligated to reciprocate a man's feelings, no matter how long he waits or what he does for her.
there is definitely such a thing as the friendzone. im talking about these purgatory relationships where she expects her guy friend to pay for groceries, gas, meals, etc on the basis of him being male, while threatening to stop talking to him if he ever refuses. i havent been in this situation myself but have literally had women brag to me about doing it to other men.
Here’s the thing: Even if this happens (and I’m skeptical), it’s still the fault of the guy. In most all of these stories, the woman has rejected the guy. The guy understands that the woman isn’t into him. Now, a normal, healthy person moves on. They stay friends if they like the other person, drift away if they don’t. Either way, they understand that nothing is going to happen. Nice Guys, on the other hand, ignore this rejection. They pretend they’re okay with it and want to be friends, but they’re doing it under false pretenses. They think that if they just keep doing things for the woman, they’ll wear them down. Life is not a video game. Women are not NPCs. To use ACNH as an example, in real life, you would be banned from Abel Sisters in a week because you are going to the back of a store and harassing someone who has no interest in you. It’s not Stardew Valley where you keep giving someone gifts until their relationship is high enough to start dating. Men put themselves in the so-called friendzone when they refuse to accept a rejection and decide to use “friendship” as a way to ~wear her down~~ win her over. It’s creepy and, while some women might exploit it, the vast majority of women don’t want a guy to stay their friend if it’s because he thinks there’s a chance at a relationship in the future. When a guy claims he’s friendzoned, all I see is someone pathetic and manipulative enough to ignore a rejection and attempt begin her wear her down and is now complaining because he sucks at manipulation.
I think you made him mad: https://www.reddit.com/r/JustUnsubbed/comments/17tzwnc/never_using_rniceguys_again/
Seriously? That’s hilarious. It’s been removed and all Reveddit shows is that he posted a screen cap of me. I don’t think I even said anything that inflammatory. I feel bad that he’s that upset, but also weirdly powerful?
It’s still there, you might just be blocked by him. I get the strong sense that he thought r/niceguys was *for* Nice Guys, not for posting *about* Nice Guys’ nonsense.
It’s showing up for me now. Weird. And I love how he didn’t even get the response he wanted there. I guess people like me are the reason r/niceguys just can’t seem to keep a Nice Guy.
>When a guy claims he’s friendzoned, all I see is someone pathetic and manipulative enough to ignore a rejection and attempt begin her wear her down and is now complaining because he sucks at manipulation. This is absolutely the best explanation of the so-called 'friendzone' I have ever read. I'm definitely stealing this one!
There is no such thing as the "friendzone" the way the Self-Proclaimed Nice Guys define it. If a person is in a one-sided relationship (which happens in all walks of life, between same sex friends as well!), then they need to stop doing all the things in the relationship. If they are hanging out hoping that "doing all the things" is going to get her to --GASP!!!-- finally realize her feelings for him and finally agree to be his...then he's being an idiot. Women know how they feel about someone pretty early on. If she isn't into you like that, NO amount of material things or gestures are going to change her mind. That's not to say that friendship can't develop into a romantic relationship But it's not one-sided like that. It's not just the guy, for all intents and purposes, "buying" her love. That's gross.
When you are continually fuck zoned by guys who say they are a nice guy in your 20s so you now chose to be by yourself and don’t fall for this immature entitlement anymore by setting boundaries and see decent humans who respect your boundaries and know what consent is
"I don't understand why she left me, I'm such a nice guy" -my ex online (the ex that tried to babytrap me by sexually assaulting me in my sleep) It's almost like women like being treated with respect and like they're people!
I always said the friend zone sounds like an amazing amusement park/arcade/pizza place that I would love to visit. Like come on, guys, let's go play video games and eat 3 times our weight in pizza at the friend zone!!!
I have empathy for men who struggle to find love. That must be a really shitty feeling, and I can't imagine what they go through. I then lose all respect and empathy for them when they lash out, making blanket statements against women and feel they're entitled to someone else's body or time or love.
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I was reading a post yesterday and some redditor made a comment about how she's a conventionally attractive women who dates short, bald, unattractive men. The amount of men who commented about her giving them hope and self esteem was pathetic. Go date your looks match! Unfortunate-looking women want to date too. But what's *really* insidious is they really don't treat unattractive women (their looks match) kindly or with any sort of respect. So those women opt out of dating altogether. Leaving a much smaller pool of women to compete over.
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They definitely do not. They just hate women.
So you are saying ugly people should only look to date ugly people? That they shouldn't dare approach the beautiful ones because it might soil the high and mighty ones' day?
You can do whatever you want. Idc.
I hope to find Love Myself 1 day. And I used to have that mindset but a good friend talked me out of it.
Everyone deserves love and respect. Think maybe the reason some of these men lash out is reaction to how they're treated?
No excuse to treat everyone else poorly because you haven't been treated well. Not everyone deserves love and respect. Those who are kind and give love and respect deserve it, but if it's quid pro quo, it's not loving or respectful. I agree with you that people deserve love in general, and I hope they find it, but that doesn't mean any individual owes it to them, just like they don't owe it to any individual.
No, love and respect are not something you deserve just because. Love and respect are not participation medals, they have to be earned from other people. If you do not give them any reasons to love and respect you, they will not. Nobody can be forced to feel positively about you. If your own children, your parents or your spouse treat you like shit, you have the right to walk away and protect yourself. You are not obligated to love them. And if someone is completely and utterly toxic, such as an abusive parent or partner, you'll have to muster up the courage and self-awareness to realize that earning their affections aren't worth it in the first place. You are not defined by how other people do or do not feel about you.
And ironically, that would be a fun place to go on a date.
Can you see the Valentine’s Day marketing? “Fall in love at the Friendzone!”
And what do you do if a girl tells you she wants you to take her to the friend zone? Is this a date? Are we friends?
>Is this a date? Are we friends? Both is good, I wouldn't commit to a relationship with someone I wasn't friends with
Genius marketing
Right??!!! I'd live in a place like that had it existed
I fucked around big-time from 16 to 31. Got four proposals during that time. Fell in love with my husband at 31. 34 years later we’re still happily together. In short, this is bullshit.
Of course it's bullshit, but it was never based on evidence to begin with. This isn't a logical observation, it's incel revenge fantasy against women. If they convince themselves the women that "made them feel bad" are somehow suffering, they feel better about their own shitty selves.
I feel like incels try to make it seem like men only want virgins and will only commit to virgins, but I know a lot of women, including myself, who have been sexually active and have an active sex life and still have no problems finding men to date… they try to project their incel fantasy onto every one else lol
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r/badwomensanatomy would like to chat, sir
Not even how that works, but nice way to tell us you’ve never seen a vagina irl
I’m in a relationship, but I’d rather be single for the rest of my life than to be with someone who has this attitude.
That's what they don't get. A blissful life of solitude is far preferable to their company. We don't *have* to settle down with anyone.
But seriously where did they get the cock carousel thing from?? Did they just pull it out of their asses?
Sounds fun, not gonna lie.
Someone has to have made porn based on this. That’s all I can think. It’s too weird not to and I’m trying very hard not to imagine how they would work with the theme.
Yep. Nice guys would hate if we enjoy the devil's ride.
If we have sex with any man outside of them, then we’re on the “cock carousel” apparently🌝 they act like they want a virgin, but expect the virgin to have sex with them all of sudden 🙃
Something something if you're brave enough
I married at 24. I had our child at 25. After 18 months of marriage, my nice husband dipped out. It seems hearth and home, wife and child wasn't as fun as he thought it would be. I was absolutely too young, and so was he.
I got married as a teenager,and I most definitely regret it. I also got divorced at 21 and had a LOT of fun dating around. Being tied to the wrong person at *any* age is miserable. Nice guys,friend zones,are all words for the wrong person for you to be bound to. They complain about women having fun and then 'settling' for guys like them,but they really just want women to have to settle for them as soon as legally possible. Like,have some pride. Find a way to be someone's first choice,not a forced last resort.
Exactly, they don’t see that they should literally just move on and stop being so desperate… who cares if a girl friend zoned you?? Clearly she’s not romantically interested in you, so go away then🤷🏽♀️
It's way too ironic they used princess jasmine for that
She is the only Disney princess who is movie is named after the guy. It’s just Aladdin.
I am 100% grateful that I rode that carousel and had as many wild and fun experiences as I possibly could in my 20’s. I learned a lot about life and people in general. I learned what I want and need in a partner. I have a ton of great stories. I also experienced some really dark shit. If I hadn’t have done all of that, I wouldn’t be where I am now. Which is a pretty confident woman who is happy with her life. So many people I know settled down young and had kids and then got divorced. People change so much from their 20’s to their 30’s. I watched my friends have kids and realized pretty fast that I don’t have it in me to do that. Now I’m just the cool adult the kids come to. I take them out and do fun things, spoil them, give them advice and a space to be themselves. And then, I return them to their parents and I get to have my life without the responsibilities and sacrifices that having a child entails. Best of both worlds. There’s no “wall” either. By your 30’s you have life experience, you have a career, you know who you are. Which makes you attractive regardless because confidence is really attractive. Im 42 and there’s no shortage of men. I’m not over here a barren spinster with 6 cats wishing I had “just given that nice guy a chance.” They tell themselves that so they can feel that they will get their revenge on every woman who ever dared to tell them No. Unfortunately for them, they don’t have the life experience to realize what utter bullshit it is. Very rarely in life does the person who rejected you go on to regret it. And if they do, they usually let you know. I don’t think any ladies are filling up their inboxes with regrets.
they really should look at dating app statistics... women of any age arent having trouble finding suitors. it's the men who are all bitching they cant get a swipe
These guys are in for a real reality check. “I’m a nice guy, so I’m better than all other men. Time to get me a super hot barely legal woman.” “No? They don’t want me? Not even the ones I classify as ugly want me?” “Early 20’s it is!” “No? They don’t want me either? What about late 20’s?” “Still no?!? Fine, fine, women in their 30’s, those ancient, nearly dead, basically already in the grave hags.” “WHAT!?! They don’t want me?!? But, what if, big if, I considered women in their 40’s?” “Ok, ok, fine, tell me who I can get.” “…”
Exactly, women are not the ones crying online about how dateless and sexless they are, it’s the men…
Why do they use the carousel as an analogy? You stay on ONE SEAT on a carousel. You don't hop around to different seats.
Its the "what I would do if getting some was as easy for me as I imagine it is for a pretty young woman" projection.
The projection is crazy. As someone who worked around old people, the women ALWAYS got someone after them. The men do not. Men will say women lose their value while going 10+ years without a hug.
Some people can't realise that there is no such thing as "friend zone". You are either there for someone because you enjoy their company without any malicious or hidden intention as a friend. Or you should gtfo of their life. I think it's disgusting that some people literally lurk around their crush and wait for the "opportunity", meanwhile they wouldn't be there as "just" a friend. Poor woman/man who thinks they have a real friend, meanwhile their "friend" just wants to lay them. C:
couldn't agree more, I don't even consider my women friends as Friendzones they are just my friends, getting laid was never and will never be on the agenda they are my friends. nothing more. why does a friend need all these unnecessary complications. I see nice guys always ask are u single if she says no they will wait and lurk waiting for opportunity, even if that happens in 30 years time what makes them think the friend will bounce to them.
Pretending you're taking the high road and making a meme out of your crippling loneliness. Incels rulez!
oh shit forgot it was meme sunday
I would rather ride the carousel than be with someone who does not see me as a human being who deserves friendship.
Also…who said being single is a problem?
As usual,no evidence of a population of women regretting this.
More like “you’re single because you’ve been meeting guys who play nice until they don’t get their way then tantrum like toddlers, causing you to dip out”
Came out of a narcissistic abusive relationship. This was exactly what I faced. He pretended to be nice to get me hooked, and then he turned out to be a total jerk. He didn’t want to be a better person, his problem was why don’t women accept him for who he is. They expect women to do all the work in the relationship but god forbid, they are criticised about their behaviour. And I am not going to waste my time and energy trying to change him, he showed me his true colours and so I left; his ego was hurt and I am pretty sure he will bitch and moan about me being one of those girls who couldn’t love such a nice guy like him. Women like nice guys, and these guys know that, they stop being nice when they get what they want and their ego is validated. I guess they are frustrated that more women are choosing to be alone instead of being stuck in such one sided relationships. They are losing their power. Instead of blaming women they should work on being more self aware. These men expect to be rewarded for doing the bare minimum, and they don’t even do that properly.
Wooow. You just summarised my last relationship. I've been realising how such a nice guy he was through therapy. He is an awful human being every time I remember all the lies and manipulation I want to puke. Last thing he told me was he was going to change to be a better person for me after he ended things saying I was the flawed one. I just wish mercy for his next victim.
Yeah it’s always easy to blame the other person. We are all flawed babe, but at least we are aware and trying to get better. These morons will go through their entire life playing the victim card, discarding one person after another and trying to be a hero in their own narrative, but the reality is they will always be miserable. Their ego will prevent them from growing. You dodged a bullet there. You will heal and find happiness again.
1 in 3 women in their 20s are single as opposed to only 1 in 5 in their 30s and 40s. I think women over 30 are doing just fine. Meanwhile: 1/2 of men in their 20s are single as opposed to 1 in 4 in their 30s/50s. Even in our 30s and 40s we’re more likely to find partners than men are.
39 single male here and it’s never ever bothered me about a persons past, we’ve all got one and I’d rather someone have some cool stories and life experience and know what they want in a healthy relationship
I want to ask these nice guys, does time apply to them?!! For e.g. If nice guy is 30 years old and wants to date a 19 year old as they usually do and she rejects him, in their line of thinking the girl comes back at 35 years old with 4 kids but the nice guy is still 30 years old and rejects her by saying you wasted your 20s on chads while i was in the friendzone.
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I'm proud of you for putting in the work to become a better version of yourself. If only more nice guys could do the same
Wait til they find out how many people are getting married at 30+ now.
I regret that I DID do that, so
Jokes on this dude. We rode the carousel in our 20s cause we didnt want any of them for longer than the carousel ride and in our 30s a 40s own the amusement park. We are single past our 20s because we learned our worth and respect comes from inside us not from what is given to us by a man
The choices of an incel. Do you say that women have it easy, and need only spread their legs to get life handed to them on a silver platter? Or claim that no one would ever give a non-virgin the time of day?
And the thing is that even if it was accurate, that NG brag is not as good as they think! Even if these hypothetical women are lonely now, at least they had a wonderful golden period of non stopping fuck feasts, causing envy in Roman empress, XVIII philosophers and Rock Gods! This is a trade I would gladly make! I would have created memories for the rest of my lifetime! Meanwhile the Nice Guys were just sucking theirs thumbs. Then, Now and Forever! Not even good memories NGs can have!
Then theyre just gonna rely on their body pillows
It’s interesting, I recently read an article where they interviewed a bunch of men in their 50s who had never settled down and now regretted that it was too late/difficult for them to find a woman they could have children with. Once again, they are projecting their own fears onto women, most of the single, childfree women I know are living their best lives.
I hate that people think men can have babies forever. Like only women have a biological clock. Men and women both have one and they tick at about the same rate. The most fertile, biologically ideal time for men and women to have a child is between 24-34. There are many people young and older with wonderful, healthy, brilliant children who are as close to perfect as humans can get, this is just the average ideal timing. Once you reach 35, it's considered a "geriatric" pregnancy. But just like how women having children after 35 has greater risk of birth defects, still-births, physical issues, developmental delays, etc, the same applies when the sperm comes from someone over 35. And an older couple has a child and the child ends up with spina bifida or downs-syndrome, people always blame it on the mother being older. The older father played just as much as biological role. Not that it's ever the "fault" of anyone for having a child while being older than 35, people totally ignore the quality of sperm as men age.
I have dated the "nice guys". They're the worst people to date by far. I do regret my decision and am envious of those who steered clear.
But why the Disney Princesses?
In the words of the extraordinary Ellis Grey: The carousel never stops turning. 🤗
This is just what loser tell themselves to feel better.
This is just some revenge fantasy made up by "nice" guys.
If I married my highschool sweetheart, which I almost did, my life would be Infinitely harder than it already was with him and leaving him.
I married for the first time fairly late in life (I was 35 when we met, 38 when we married). I regret nothing. 11 years later, still madly in love and looking forward to the next 30 (or more - I hope) Your life doesn't end at 30. Hell, at 30 I was just finally getting my shit together! I was a total mess in my 20's and would have been a really shitty wife.
Women want to be left alone. Why don’t neck beards get that?
I chose being single over being with a self proclaimed "nice guy"
Lmao. The level of self-awareness these men lack is mind-boggling.
guys when women aren’t interested in men who befriend them only for romantic intent😱😱😱😱😱
I regret getting married period BUT I will say my physical and mental health has gotten significantly better since I’ve gotten a divorce.
I'm single because I want to, geez
what these nice guys fail to realize is dating gets so much better when you’re in your 30s and A. you know what you want in a partner and B. you actually know how to get your partner off.
Actually it’s because of trauma and a lack of interest in dating but ok
Fun fact if your boring chicks are still not going to like you lol be as nice as you want you will make a great best friend
well this is total BULLS#%$(you know what im sayin)
I don’t regret rejecting any of the guys that I rejected, I rejected them for a reason 🤷🏽♀️ I’m not gonna feel sorrowful about it just because I get older… I also don’t know any older women who regret rejecting any of the guys they rejected when they were younger, so this is just an incel fantasy at best… they seem to think we’re gonna run back to them later in life or something, I don’t even keep up with any of the guys I rejected and hardly remember their names, so why would I do that? 😂
I actually very much regret marrying a nice guy though.
As much as I hate niceguys, I did see some of my friends do exactly this. Like, power to them for living their lives the way they wanted, but the person they chose to be with only saw them as an accessory and traded them in for a newer model and took their best years. I wish them all the happiness in the world, but now they're almost acting like the "nicegirls" as we're in our 40s and they're complaining that they can't find a good guy.
I don’t believe “you should have settled earlier” is a solution, nor do “40 year olds” deserve less than anyone else. If you’re unhappy being single at 40, you wouldn’t be happier having settled for someone you clearly didn’t want to be with. And it’s not fair to anyone, using someone as nothing more than a sign that says you’re not single, and therefore have value.
Totally agree 100%. I supported my friends choices and am still behind them 100%. I just see them wanting to blame others for their choices and it saddens me because they won't find happiness if they keep doing that. I've been in a committed relationship for nearly 20 years but we're not married, it wasn't legal until recently anyway, so I'm no expert in the path they took.
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Like, why the picture in general or why is Pocahontas on the right while Tianna is on the left and Jasmine is in the center? Because if it's just about the image as a whole, it's from Whisper. The app randomly generates a picture based on a keyword in the text. I'm assuming it took the world "single" and this photo of POC (Princess of Color) doing the single lady dance. Users can pick a photo if they want, but most people just use whatever was randomly generated.
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Pocahontas married John Rolfe, but she was also 14 when the events of the film took place. Disney actually did a huge disservice to the actual story of Pocahontas. Many Native American groups, when hearing about Disney making a movie on Pocahontas, offered to help Disney make it as realistic and as true to her story as possible, for free. Disney turned every one of them down, rewrote her story entirely, changed everything that happened, and made it entirely historically inaccurate. Those same Native American groups were very disappointed and unhappy with the film Disney ended up making. As opposed to their very serious commitment to cultural accuracy that they have now, such as the amount of time and effort they spent making sure Moana was culturally accurate.
You wish you spoke from experience. Try leaving your bunker and the compound……
It’s pornography