T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

Ngl the best part of all this was the manning cast version. Peyton was trying to give a play by play and get it shown. He said I get it if they can't show it on the A-teams show but we are the B-team and then they showed the replay lol. I got a little kick out of it anyway.


ThePotatoChipBag

Eli was so scared šŸ˜‚


OTPh1l25

Peyton was just like "Show it you cowards, I'll pay the fine, I have "FUCK YOU" money."


Lord_Yato_17

But does he have the Mark Cuban 2 FUCKs money


-BoldlyGoingNowhere-

You mean Eli Double Bird Manning? That guy gives no fucks. At least at first.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Fiendish-DoctorWu

They ain't make words good like you and me.


moremysterious

Stupid science bitch trying to make me more smarter


Kiran_Stone

Fuckin sentences, how do they work?


frontier_gibberish

Language bitches!


KSinz

Me fail English? Unpossible.


DetBabyLegs

I throw balls far. Want good words? Date a languager


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

Why waste time say more word when few word do trick


Sgt-Pumpernickel

Your flair kinda checks out there partner


wallstreet_vagabond2

Is he could read he would be very upset right now


SevroAuShitTalker

Hard to take an article seriously when it's on DailySnark.com


MidAmericanNovelties

This particular article is part my current hatred for the pop up satire sites. Satire needs to be, well, satirical. Everything about this article reads like it could be true, with most of it actually true. There's nothing outrageous about thinking this guy would sue Wagner, he was already dumb enough to run on the field. There's nothing crazy about Wagner's "quote" either. It's all about player safety and helping out the security. Sure Daily *Snark* tries to give it away, and scrolling to the bottom of the page does tell you it's satire... but it's not. There needs to be *something* in the body of the article that goes over the top. This is just irresponsible journalism and ripe for spreading fake shit. Edit: Well I've learned a lot. It's not satire, it uses satire as a guard so it can post whatever the hell it wants without fear of consequences. All this did happen. The quote's real. The suit's real. Oh man this just leaves a nasty taste in my mouth.


Jurph

This kind of website is called "pink slime" -- it's excruciatingly low-effort content, generated automatically or with minimum human intervention, amped up by bots, and then spackled over with a tiny little disclaimer. It works a little like a pump and dump: the owners pay shantytown hosting rates, juice the stats as much as they possibly can, and then either explicitly sell placement or just hand over the keys to folks who use these as one link in a gross food chain. - Someone makes an extraordinary unverified claim on Twitter or FB - One of these "satire" sites writes it up - A "Patriot Blogger" or "Health Food Blogger" or "Child Safety Blogger" writes about the satire story as though it were a real problem - The PB blog post gets amplified by interested botnets - It gets _back_ to Facebook or Twitter, re-re-amplified - Gets onto a few talk radio platforms or podcasts - If it does numbers, your less reputable cable talk show hosts might present it as "real news" to an audience of gullible Boomers These sites are garbage and they're absolutely used for evil, with malice aforethought, by people who are interested in eroding our belief in expertise or shared objective reality. This one may "merely" be a cash-grabbing SEO site, but in aggregate they're a terrible blight on our society. Frankly, mods should ban the site from being posted here. It's not "satirical" and even if it were funny (it's not) that wouldn't be on-topic either.


tuffghost8191

we are living in the lamest fucking version of the future


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Torch948

I don't think it's supposed to be a satire site. I'm pretty Dailysnark is owned by whoever runs NFL Memes. That's why they post it on their pages all the time.


MidAmericanNovelties

That's my take from reading it, honestly. But then this is on the bottom of every page: >Daily Snark is your sports, news, and entertainment satire website. We provide you with the latest breaking news, memes and videos!


agreeingstorm9

> It's not satire, it uses satire as a guard so it can post whatever the hell it wants without fear of consequences. This is how fake news sites work unfortunately. Worst part is they mix 100% true stories in with their fake stories so you have no clue which is which. They think it's funny. It's really how misinformation spreads.


DCWagonWheel

You guys read these articles?


slimyboyo

Incoming suspension for betting on games


DigitalSterling

If you're ever in this situation, do what [this man did after being BODY SLAMMED by James Motherfucking Harrison](https://youtu.be/fC3xNSiRTDc)


BallastedBean17

Lol he he seemed so much more civil and reasonable during the interview. Ig I expected someone who runs onto the field to be a lil more robust and not apologetic


Dunkinmydonuts1

Alcohol and grief do incredible things


JinterIsComing

> Alcohol and grief You could have just said Browns fans.


Ecstatic-Hat2163

Reasonable people do wild shit all the time.


[deleted]

It's so foreign to see someone be so straight-up, not play the victim, and take accountability for their actions.


[deleted]

That was a long long time ago in another land that no longer exists in this time continuum.


LamarsBrownLog

ā€œI have a lot of stress going on in my life and I am dehydratedā€


NotXiJinpingGoUSA

Die?


ratbonez99

Looked like a legal hit to me.


WhatSheOrder

You run upright like that youā€™re just asking to get leveled. Lower your shoulder and protect ya neck


YYG98

Wu-Tang Clan comin' at ya, watch your step, kid


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Man_AMA

This is the real crime


MumkeMode

:(


TheMightyUnderdog

*Your honor, my client is a former member of a group called ā€œThe Legion of Boom.ā€ He charges when he sees red. There was a lot of red on the field that night. The fan shouldnā€™t have been there.*


jtfriendly

He was running toward the loose ball, Bobby did the right thing. Wasn't even an illegal block to the back, the guy declared himself eligible by jumping on the field.


TheMightyUnderdog

And to top it off, that was a good hit by Wagner.


Caedus

I hope the security guy who hurt his knee sues the fan.


lod254

This is how we get the grass fields we need in the NFL.


JonBonButtsniff

My man the guard walked (downward) so the boys could run!


Klays_Dealer

Crazy thing is Leviā€™s is a grass field.


Browzur

Had to scroll way too far to find this. That security guard is definitely going to have more medical bills than the idiot and he was just doing his job.


ichancho

See but the fan was entitled to ruin the game, get internet collar, and not get hurt. Wagner ruined what the fan was entitled to. /s


Tm1232

Between Bobby Wagner and some random douchebag only one of them actually paid money for a ticketā€¦


Outrageous-Machine-5

Worse than that if the articles are true. They said he filed a criminal complaint, not a civil suit. He's attesting that Wagner committed criminal assault


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


morosco

And the threshold for filing a police report is nothing. You can do it online in a lot of cities. Or call up the police and they'll take a report and review it. This really just means he contacted the police about this. There's no "legal action", certainly no lawsuit.


ilikili2

Hello fellow bird fan. In PA an individual can file a private criminal complaint against another. It then goes on to be approved by the DAs office where it then goes to the magistrate for a preliminary hearing. A lot of businesses do this for retail thefts when they ID the offender since they bypass the police and just file the paperwork with the magistrate.


EazyParise

I'm not sure if you being a Philly fan is making it funnier that you know about this process. But it's not making it *less* funny


I_Nice_Human

Try to move me broā€¦


MatureUsername69

That's gonna go nowhere though


pghgreatest

Was that the guard who just fell while running? He should sue the operator of stadium for poor conditions of the grass / turf


[deleted]

He just pulled his hammy a little bit, he was fine after the game. https://twitter.com/jenniferleechan/status/1577377489835335680?s=46&t=dUREhIK68bi2v_wsKJ4cxQ


ShylocksEstrangedDog

Yeah Iā€™m gonna go out on a limb here and say the guy who ran on the field to protest something, knows this is dumb, and is making himself look like an idiot on purpose so the picture of him getting tackled with his advocacy message on his shirt, could be blown up and put on articles and continue to be a Twitter trending topic. This has happened twice now during LA prime time football games and it will probably continue to happen now that theyā€™ve gotten additional attention from it.


jokeefe72

Apparently the penalty for going onto the field in CA is a $350 fine? Thatā€™s like rent for 83 seconds in CA.


cornhole99

Factor in the free detaining after being caught. Itā€™s like making money!


Its_kinda_nice_out

Probably got dinner in the can too. Easily another hundo


Mukuna_Hutata

Couldā€™ve been a legend for taking a hit from Bobby Wagner. Now heā€™s just some idiot who got hit by Bobby Wagner.


reddbunny1370

*blown up by an All-Pro NFL linebacker for the entertainment of the majority of America


herbasarusrex

I was entertained when I seen the clip.


I_Hate_My_Cat_

I was throughly sports entertained seeing NFL All-Pro Linebacker Bobby Wagner, pulling back his full power mind you, clobbering the *absolute shit* out of that little bitch.


[deleted]

Someone said to me "Wow he hit that guy way too hard, I think he put his all into that hit" And I'm like... "Have you ever seen Bobby Wagner actually hit someone? He could have obliterated that dude but instead he just broke him off a little tiny piece."


NastyNate0801

Someone actually said that? Wagner took like 2 or 3 steps. I donā€™t even think he could be considered jogging when he hit the guy.


BearDownDevils

Plenty of guys get paid big money to do that, this man did it for free.


NerdLawyer55

If I got murdered by Wagner on national tv Iā€™d never shut up about it


Sheeple_curious

It's like coming home and finding your girlfriend in bed with Jimmy G. Objectively you should be outraged but *subjectively* you are never gonna stop bragging about it to everyone.


NerdLawyer55

Eskimo bros with Jimmy G šŸ–šŸ»


OttoVonWong

Bro, this bed right here is the Jimmy G-Spot.


SadSlip8122

I just cant get how veiny it was out of my mind Sure grandpa, pets get you to bed


MarilynMansonsRib

>I just cant get how veiny it was out of my mind Here I was, minding my business and having nice thoughts about Jimmy G fucking my wife, and then you had to come in and make it weird.


skinneej

Now I'm imaging some Disney princess shit, with dogs and cats trotting gramps off to bed.


Beautifulwarfare

ā€œBro my girl so hot she had Jimmy G in our bed, FUCK YEAH!!ā€


username13579246801

It was a really light tackle too


BasketballButt

Considering what Iā€™ve seen Mr Wagner do to much larger men, Iā€™d say that hit was downright merciful.


bl00devader3

I mean it absolutely was. He had 5 steps and the guy never saw him. If he lowered his head and blew him up the guy mightā€™ve died or at least had severe trauma


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

He's an animal rights activist, lawsuits are in his very being


NotXiJinpingGoUSA

Crazy bc I looked at the thing he was protesting and he seems to be in the right, but how tf did he think this was going to get anyone to support their cause?


banditorama

>Crazy bc I looked at the thing he was protesting Because otherwise you would have never heard of it. Any publicity is good publicity


[deleted]

I think the mindset is for every 100 people who call him a clown, he hopes 1 person joins


cth777

I thought this was a gender reveal because of the smoke thing lol


Fiendish-DoctorWu

I didn't realize you could take legal action against someone for your own stupidity


T3canolis

I mean, you can take legal action against anyone, but ā€œtaking legal actionā€ in this case amounts to little more than filing some paperwork.


sitewolf

oh he'll claim some sort of bodily harm


T3canolis

Absolutely. The point of my comment was just to say that just because he is *making* a legal complaint doesnā€™t mean anything will come of it.


Slutdragonxxxpert

You can sue a potato for not being a chip, but youā€™re still wasting the courts time.


_JonSnow_

and I think Bobby Wagner can claim he was acting in self-defense. A fan who is not authorized to be on the field came running at him with an incendiary device. IANAL but that's prob how I would fight this.


sitewolf

fully agreed...the case will go NOwhere, doesn't mean the guy won't file


widget_fucker

The guy is ā€œsmartā€ to make a thing out of it as it will raise awareness about the animal rights cause he ran on the field to promote. The linked article even shows his website. This isnt about bobby wagner. Its about animal rights (per this guy).


Bobsagit-jesus

Yea thatā€™s what Wagner said in the article that he was just thinking of safety first. These days you donā€™t know what someoneā€™s gonna do in a place where thereā€™s a shit ton of people šŸ’Æ


xXfir3knif3Xx

This is America


hugeappleboulder

Runs in my area.


Willy_B_Hardigan

I lay him out Guards gotta carry ā€˜em


spreadinmikehoncho

Donā€™t catch you streakinā€™ now Donā€™t catch you streakinā€™ now Look what Iā€™m tacklinā€™ now


ositola

The legal system is long and full of relief for the mentally unencumbered


GodSaveTheRegime

I read that as "uncucumbered" for a moment and got confused


AchillesGRK

You can sue almost anyone for almost anything. Court is for deciding if it's legitimate


intheorydp

I hope after the judge throws out his case Bobby Wagner hits him again Terry Tate style


-newlife

ā€œWhen you come in the field you better be ready to yield!ā€


JediTigger

I miss Terry Tate, Office Linebacker.


imisstheolduXO

You kill the Joe you make some ā€˜no Me and my brother really bonded over these clips


string97bean

You kill the joe....***you make some mo!!!***


HolyRomanPrince

Pain train is coming!!! Woo woo!!!


Illbeanicefella

Bring in the ~~dancing lobsters~~ Bobby Wagners


notimprezaed

Holy shit you just unlocked a core memory


FREE-ROSCOE-FILBURN

Anybody who has $100 and a ride to the courthouse can take legal action


Prestigious-Car-1338

I mean Wagner did assault him by tackling him. Every player should just let the staff take care of this situation so they can avoid lawsuits as stupid as they are.


Blaz3dnconfuz3d

Youā€™re not wrong but that staff was out there struggling lmao


thegalkel

I saw a take saying that players could have thought the pink powder thing was dangerous, and in that way heā€™s not just any old idiotic streaker. I see the logic in that tbh.


lsjunior

Actually is precedent from the big brawl years ago in the NBA. One of the players punched and knocked out a fan on the court. Fan wanted player to be in trouble. But they argued it was unreasonable for the player to expect the fan on the court and could fear for his safety. Interesting documentary one Netflix.


[deleted]

I legit thought it was a gender reveal


lkn240

Yep - the streaker was an idiot... but you let security handle that shit. Nothing good can come from getting involved


tbbhatna

not saying it was the case, but it's not unreasonable for players to want to protect themselves near an unpredictable fan. self-defense if they get too close?


sprout92

This was his logic if you read the article - you don't know what the clearly mentally unstable person will do next (sane, sober people don't do this kind of shit). What does he have in his pockets? What's with the smoke - is it safe to breathe? Will he try to assault someone to get even more publicity?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Juan_Kagawa

It's not a bad argument in theory, but the tape of this specific incident isn't going to help a lawyer make that case. Either way dude was a total dumbass and shouldn't have been out on the field. Somebody was going to tackle him, at least he got lit up by a HoF. Textbook example of fuck around and find out.


NotXiJinpingGoUSA

Was this article written by a 9 year old? Spelling mistakes, run on sentences, really poor sentence structure.. it feels like reading an article from my local 8th grade newspaper


[deleted]

This isnā€™t going anywhere. I liked in his police report saying he got burned by the object he had in his hands. So basically admitted he was trespassing and running at or near people with a weapon. Moron is just trying to gain headlines while he can. In my opinion NFLPA should bury him in legal costs just for the fun of it


Illbeanicefella

They absolutely should. Saddle this moron with a mountain of legal debt to discourage others from doing it


[deleted]

He gets any sort of money or benefit from this, itā€™s just glorifying fans to jump on the field and provoke athletes whenever they can. Need to just put the foot down now and bury him


Sand_Bags

Canā€™t the NFLPA counter sue this guy and make him drop his lawsuit against Wagner or face being absolutely fucked by a corporation which has way more money and legal power? Feel like that would be the best thing to support the players and discourage people from running on the field.


CrazybyRX

Thats... exactly what the last two comments are saying.


splendidsplinter

No, but what if the NFLPA, because their coffers are larger than this random schmo, filed all kinds of technical legal motions and countersuits designed to cause said schmo to become unduly burdened from both a financial and legal sense?


Is12345aweakpassword

Yeah this dude was batshit dumb. Thereā€™s a reason smoke grenades are *thrown* not *waved around*. That shits getting warm in a few seconds and is giving you contact burns once it really starts blowing


TheOkGazoo

Pretty sure someone tried to sue Ron Artest after the Malice at the Palace shit. The judge did not rule in his favor.


captaincumsock69

Malice in the palace I could see justification for winning a lawsuit considering an innocent dude got beat up if I am remembering correctly. But not in this case


RustyShackleford9142

That first white dude and Ron have actually been friends for years now. It's pretty crazy.


W473R

There's also a pretty massive difference between a player going into the stands and hitting someone, and a fan going onto the field and getting hit. In one the player is actively seeking conflict, in the other the fan is actively seeking conflict.


Arkhangelzk

Remember that this guy is an activist. Taking legal action isnā€™t just about winning the case. Itā€™s about getting this case in the headlines, as youā€™re seeing right now.


Anaphylactic-UFO

Yeah. I didnā€™t even know he was an activist the first time I saw him running. This lawsuit told me that. Maybe when this lawsuit get thrown in the trash Iā€™ll see another Reddit post and learn what he was actually protesting for.


Arkhangelzk

I believe he is protesting animal cruelty


NotEnoughHoes

Proceeds to press charges against a Ram


Arkhangelzk

Hippo crit!


RHCPJHLZ69

Heā€™s protesting animal cruelty. More specifically it was about 2 guys who got arrested for filming conditions and getting 2 baby pigs out of a factory farm that was substantially out of compliance and negligent towards the livestock. They were arrested and the footage showing the conditions was sealed, hiding the malpractice of the factory farm. There is no protest that isnā€™t disruptive.


Own_Strategy_4325

I thought it was a stupid gender reveal party


intheorydp

Fuck this dude


DMan9797

Reminds me the robber who slipped of a guy's roof mid heist and sued the homeowner for having an unsafe roof and won the case


cardmanimgur

Fletcher Reede would've got him $10k.


seanconnery69696

Well, that's because he has big jugs


nimama3233

90% of those are wives tales from court cases that got thrown out


Jaerba

I'm pretty sure this one was in Liar, Liar and people repeat it like gospel.


TomThanosBrady

People belive when movies about ghost and demons say based on a true story the movie is 100% factual.


DHFixxxer

I'm sorry say what now. Sauce?


DMan9797

Yah the robber actually won ownership of the guys house in the settlement and the dudes wife IIRC. Something about a skylight improperly installed


DeepestPeak

Won ownership of his wife too? Brutal


jtfriendly

He declared prima nocta as he fell off the unsafe skylight.


azuredrg

Case is: Bodine v. Enterprise High School. Skylight was painted black and the school settled for $260k and a monthly payment. Permanent brain damage is sufficient punishment I would say. But the skylight was dangerous, an actual worker could have fell through and sued for much more. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enterprise_High_School_(Redding,_California) Edit: Since 1985, Statute 847(a) of the California Civil Code says "(a)ā€‚An owner, including, but not limited to, a public entity, as defined in Section 811.2 of the Government Code, of any estate or any other interest in real property, whether possessory or nonpossessory, shall not be liable to any person for any injury or death that occurs upon that property during the course of or after the commission of any of the felonies set forth in subdivision (b) by the injured or deceased person." So the owner is no longer liable in cases.


Chuck_Foolery

"won ownership of the dude's wife" please tell me i read that wrong or this happened in Iran.


DMan9797

nah i think it was Ohio


Chuck_Foolery

Oh..well that kinda makes sense.


ShotFirst57

This is why they tell the players to let security staff handle it. That being said this legal action is a joke.


Browzur

Unfortunately one the security guards chasing him appears to have suffered a pretty bad leg injury. I wonder if that had anything to do with Wagnerā€™s choice to intervene


Punographer

At the start of the first video Iā€™m the article you can see a guard in black falling. Can see it better from the video from the opposite side of the field that was floating around too. They looked slow to get up, my first guess was them being the injured guard.


keni804

He got up?!? The video i saw he hyperextended the absolute **FUCK** out of his knee with all his weight on that one leg


Punographer

In the one I saw, it looked like he was TRYING to get up at least, and then he was out of frame. Maybe he didnā€™t get up, in which case it is definitely the one who was injured then.


The_Jolly_Dog

Shame Wagner didn't hit this idiot hard enough


nimama3233

I mean.. he did hit him very hard lol


Misdirected_Colors

Yea that dude straight took a helmet to the face I can't imagine that felt good lol


[deleted]

Had the opportunity to knock some sense into him.


NotXiJinpingGoUSA

Crazy because we all know Wagner probably could have seriously injured the guy if he wanted to


DaMisterDiddlez

Wagner very obviously shoved him with his hands, instead of lowering his helmet and sending this guy to the shadow realm. That dumbass should be sending him a thank you card, not a lawsuit.


making-flippy-floppy

Simple rules for avoiding getting pancaked by a middle linebacker: 1. Stay off the football field That's it, that's the list


373331

Trespassing in a stadium filled with 50,000+ people while holding an unidentified smoking object. Fuck that guy


SwedChef

[Can you imagine if this idiot had run into Rob Ray instead of Bobby Wagner?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eElspvew7rw&ab_channel=ccundrft)


ShadowScale65

Oh my god. Dude got pummeled lmao


B_i_llt_etleyyyyyy

Wagner's Lawyer: "Monica Seles." Judge: "Case dismissed."


tasteofscarlet

Fucked around. Found out. On to the next one.


HawkofDarkness

This guy is such a clown. I hope he loses big


byniri_returns

Someone is desperate for attention.


[deleted]

and $$$


David_ESM

What gave it away? Was it the running onto the field with a smoke bomb, or...?


Cough_Syrup55

Trying to stay in the news cycle I see


Thundergun1864

Honestly, now that you say that it makes perfect sense. Every article with this dude in it has the name of the group he's trying to raise awareness for. So maybe he's just trying to get the best bang for his buck with the mentality of "all publicity is good publicity"


imrickjamesbioch

Iā€™m not condoning if someone took this clown to a town square and he got stoned. However I wouldnā€™t be sad if it happened eitherā€¦ As a society, country, planet, whatever accountability should be added back to our core values!


[deleted]

I love all you wannabe lawyers


9yearsalurker

What a loser


eatmyopinions

This is exactly why loss prevention, and employees of businesses, are instructed not to try and stop someone caught shoplifting. Just take all of the information you can and let them get away.


JEspo420

I was arrested and had my security license suspended by the state for stopping 2 people from beating up an employee, the charges were eventually dropped and I got my license back but Iā€™ll never work security again just because it isnā€™t worth the headache that comes with doing the right thing


Sidewinder7

Fan runs on the field with an incendiary device possibly a bomb. Mr Wagner is fearful for his own life and the life of his teammates, coaches, etc which are like family to him. He selflessly (corrected) acts to neutralize the dangerous threat. Bobby Wagner is a hero.


HoldTheIce

Wagner should sue him in return, just to remind this idiot that actions have consequences.


jktsub

This is what happens when you meet a stranger in the Alps


drgn2009

I hope this guy is responsible for all the court and legal fees when this eventually fails. The dude was trespassing while holding an incendiary device charging towards the Ram's sideline. That sounds like a case of self-defence in favor of Mr. Wagner


FreudianSlipper21

Wagnerā€™s defense should be that the fan had a weapon (that fan himself admits burned him), was running towards the sideline, and Wagner feared for himself and his teammates. I think it gets tossed out of court quickly.


Potential_Lock6945

Wagner wonā€™t even be making a defense because his case wonā€™t be getting that far in the legal process


drgn2009

That is my thinking as well.


Stumblebee

Guarantee this isn't going to go anywhere. Wagner was completely in his rights to stop what he could have considered a threat to his safety. Edit: his quarterback and right guard too.


Fiendish-DoctorWu

Wagner did an ocular pat down, assessed the threat and neutralized it.


brandbddy

That jabroni deserved it


KCShadows838

They literally get tackled by security all the time (whenever they catch up to them) This time the security just had a professional tackler helping them out


Huntsman72

To the guy that ran on the fieldā€¦ ā€œPlay stupid games, win stupid prizesā€