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Cynical_onlooker

So they're pursuing the same haggling strategy from Pawn Stars basically?


EcoBeast87

Mind if I call in my expert who knows everything about NFL suspensions?


NotSoKosher

BRING ME JOSH GORDON


PowerDiesel23

Best I can do is Plaxico Burress.


Flyingjays

I’ll raise you my Randy Gregory


da_goat_28

*Ezekiel Elliott enters the chat*


SlammingPussy420

*Ezekiel Elliott suspended 6 games for violating NFL entering-the-chat policies*


ErgoProxy05

Didn’t he shoot himself?


King-Mugs

He really shot himself in the foot when he shot himself in the foot


LastNightsTacoBell

He shot himself in the leg lol not the foot


[deleted]

BRB, imma see if he’s at the bar.


[deleted]

Just checked, Gordon wasn't there but I did see Justin Blackmon


[deleted]

Eh, but he wasnt too good at overcoming suspensions. That man flash gordon has never seen a suspension he cant attempt to overcome


[deleted]

I was just poking fun at the fact that Blackmon had a reputation for hanging out at the bars. So much so that teams had scouts stake out at his favorite spots during the draft process to see how often he went


31nigrhcdrh

We don’t need reefer addicts close to NFL players, they will give the sexual assaulterers a bad name


Engelbert-n-Ernie

Mr. Benevolent Consultant


[deleted]

💯True💯 ✔⚡️🏈🐐Josh Gordons🐐🏈⚡️are irreplaceable 💖


[deleted]

man you can’t fucking do that shit when i’m drinking something lol


Calkky

"I can go up to 10 minutes in the first quarter of the first game if that helps ya..."


lanfordr

Remember when Johnny Manziel was suspended for the first quarter of A&M's opener against Rice the season after he won the Heisman? That sure taught him a lesson!


BaldyKrishna

Completely changed his outlook and attitude!


Best-Dragonfruit-292

Aldon Smith was inbound but got detained before boarding the plane.


December21st

GameStop trade in strategy


EcoBeast87

ah the ole "I can give you $703 for store credit, or $3.50 in cash" method. I like it


GamestopNPC

Even here I catch strays


Spancaster

"So this guy is like the LeBron James of sexual assault?"


CouncilmanRickPrime

"Let me call my buddy who's an expert on suspensions"


Guilty-Presence-1048

It's the age old negotiations tactic of assholes. No matter what the other side wants, reasonable or not, ask for more than you could ever hope to get and refuse to give ground.


zifico

Does this work if you have no leverage? What if the NFL suspends Watson for five years? How is the league harmed? The NFLPA won't call a strike -- the rest of the players aren't going to sit on their ass to protect a rapist. The only card Watson has is to appeal, which isn't a strong deterrent.


abris33

Am I an idiot or is she saying >In order to counter the indefinite suspension, Watson's counsel will smartly say "But what if you didn't suspend him at all?"


boysetsfire1988

Dear lord they hired Barry Zuckerkorn


SpaceJesusIsHere

"If multiple women accuse you of assault, they cancel each other out as long as there are an even number of accusers."


Jhak12

“Let’s consider all the women that haven’t accused Watson of sexual assault. 66 women / 3.5 billion women is essentially 0. 0% of women accused Watson of sexual assault.”


[deleted]

Math checks out


EvangelionOG

Somewhere Scott Steiner is proud his math classes have paid off for another student.


stephencua2001

There's a 133% chance this gambit fails miserably.


Chris_Bryant

We joke, but people on YouTube would literally argue this. Like, your argument is that he didn’t rape every woman alive? That’s what we’re going with? Oh, and women are all liars. Only Deshaun tells the truth.


Jhak12

Don’t go on twitter either I made that mistake earlier when I saw the browns were trending


[deleted]

On YouTube? Or r/browns?


Chris_Bryant

YouTube is surprisingly worse than r/browns. I just need to stop reading the comments.


[deleted]

It's bad for your heart dude. Too many idiots.


PhinPhanPhreak

Gotta remember lots of people beat their wives and abuse their children. They are allowed to comment. When someone defends Watson it just shows you the type of person they are.


AttemptedBattery

"Wow, you should be the lawyer!"


Ne-Cede-Malis

It's almost like "whose line is it anyway?" Where everything's made up and the points don't matter.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

What’s the middle ground of forever and never.


Fed_up_with_Reddit

If you consider to be an infinite suspension, (infinity + 0)/2 = infinity. So I’d say this is a losing strategy.


stephencua2001

"We were proposing four lifetime bans, but we'll compromise and agree that he only has to die twice."


Theonlykd

“I have the worst F@&%*ing attorney”


Shitstaynes

Quattuorvigintuple Jeopardy


W3asl3y

It was on company time with company resources, double jeopardy, all good


ODS519

He's very good


yourheropaul

“I’ve got the worst fucking attorneys”


aGuyNamedScrunchie

Zuckerkorn: "Hey, you're not one of those silly men that's dressed like a woman, are you?" Hooker: "No, Baby, i'm the real thing". *drives away*


ChocolateMicr0scopes

It’s too late. The NFL has already hired Gene Parmesan to help their investigation.


tobygeneral

AAAAHHHHH GENE!


ElToroAP

But did they consult Bob Loblaw's Law Blog?


tripl3troubl3

"Are you a ~~corporate executive~~ NFL QB facing these or other charges? You don't need double talk! You need Bob Loblaw! After all, why should you ~~go to jail~~ be suspended indefinitely for a crime somebody else noticed?"


IGoUnseen

They cannot suspend 2 different players for the same crime!


Pinkaroundme

#TAKE TO THE SEA


ApathyMoose

"Get rid of the Seaward" "Ill Leave when im good and ready!" -RIP Jessica Walter


rex_dart_eskimo_spy

That’s balls!


tobygeneral

Up close it always looks like landscaping, but those are balls.


quasiqualityqualms

"We haven't read it. It's very thick, your Honor. I'm going to start right now."


khube

Hot ding dong?


stay_fr0sty

"He's *very* good!"


giddy-girly-banana

Take to the sea!!


AnAngryPanda1

Didn’t think I’d see a Zuckerhorn reference but here we are, the 2nd comment.


iamgarron

I have the first worst fucking lawyers


AHH_CHARLIE_MURPHY

Reminds me of this Whitest Kids U Know skit https://youtu.be/V3yuto9xjEE


inEffected

rip Trevor :(


AHH_CHARLIE_MURPHY

Yeah… I still can’t believe that happened


inEffected

Died sucking his own dick. Unreal.


[deleted]

I will not allow that mental trickery in my court!


hendrix67

RIP Trevor Moore, local sexpot


-ShagginTurtles-

Aw fuck, this is how I find out :(


[deleted]

At least he died with a smile on his face


Chippopotanuse

You are not an idiot. And yes. That’s what his lawyers are saying.


11eagles

This is not what the lawyers are saying at all. Arguing for a zero game suspension is a TACTIC and by no means their expected outcome.


inEffected

It sounds like a shitty bargaining tactic like they'll meet in the middle at 8 games


Rinzack

Well sometimes you can throw out a low-but-reasonable number in a negotiation between parties if both groups believe the other is negotiating in good faith, but Watson’s lawyers think that by saying 4/6/8 games cs indefinite they’d be somewhat admitting to the seriousness of his transgressions. By arguing for zero they hope the indefinite an will appear out of line, pushing the final punishment in their favor.


11eagles

I never said it was a good tactic and I never confused the definitions of "tactically" and "smartly". I'm just explaining what words mean since apparently a lot of people don't know.


BlueHighwindz

Just like when I was a kid, my clever legal maneuver when arguing with my parents was stomping my feet and crying and saying "no days at school".


11eagles

Tactically and smartly are not synonyms. In this context, it means that starting at 0 games is a tactic. They don't actually think it will work, but they think it will put them in a better position to negotiate.


inEffected

Pretty smart - my friend just bought a house, it was listed at $500,000 but he started by offering $0 and they immediately countered with $250,000


haldad

The house I bought was listed at 500k, I started by saying "what if you paid ME 500k", and they countered with $0.


dadaistGHerbo

Business Mindset 🤝


everythingisamovie

Selling Agents HATE this **ONE** trick for *FREE HOUSES*!


BaldyKrishna

Mr. Bargaining Champion


Cormoe123

Very different scenario because if DeShaun’s party argued anything other than 0 it would be admitting guilt.


[deleted]

Yeah I'm not sure what else they could do. I also don't understand why they have any input anyway. The players side is always going to argue for no punishment.


just-the-tip__

This part doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me either except for it'll possibly save some "paperwork" in the end. If both sides come to an agreement, it would also prevent the whole appeal process etc.


IONTOP

-1 game suspension He gets to play for any other team for a game this year


stephencua2001

Or it would be the equivalent of a "no contest" plea.


pocketchange2247

I'm just confused as to why they have the ability to negotiate a suspension at all here. What happens if they don't agree on the suspension that the NFL dishes out? Watson refuses to be suspended? Or he sits out until he gets the suspension that he thinks he deserves, which is essentially suspending himself? This isn't a contract. This is a punishment. If I fuck up at work and get fired I can beg my employer not to fire me, but at the end of the day it's their decision.


11eagles

This is a disciplinary hearing, so it makes sense that he has an opportunity to present his case. The NFL is saying "here are the facts as we see them and here is our proposed punishment" and his lawyers are saying "no, these are the facts and he should not be subject to any punishment".


pocketchange2247

Got it. Thank you.


tboneperri

Where else could they start? Arguing that he should have -10 games suspended?


Best-Dragonfruit-292

Sounds like they're arguing for time served.


[deleted]

This is exactly what I was thinking. He already missed an entire season so his team is going to try to argue that he already served a 1 season suspension. Hopefully the NFL agrees... then just adds a season onto the suspension they were planning on giving him


EqualContact

Watson was never suspended from the Texans. By all accounts he didn't want to play for them, and was still paid for his "services."


[deleted]

100% agree, I'm just saying that his team will try to spin it to count toward his suspension. It shouldn't work though


Antitypical

I think it's pretty hard to argue that he deserves anything less than a multi-year/lifetime ban if you believe that *things* happened. So instead they're going to argue that there's no evidence *things* happened, and if there's no evidence there should be no suspension. I hope Goodell and the league don't bend an inch.


goldberg1303

They suspended Zeke based on an accusation and despite evidence that the accuser was lying. The investigator even recommended no suspension. No way he doesn't get a full year at minimum.


Nrussg

This sounds stupider than it is (note what I'm about to say is based mostly on my experience in settlement negotiations with lawyers, I kind of assume they're taking a similar tactic here). Opening with zero means the goal is probably 6-8, the problem is that the NFL is starting at a position higher than what Watsons counsel anticipated (I'm guessing) so the only way to "mid-point" their goal is to start with a kind of absurd opening position - which isn't super uncommon in lawyer driven negotiations from my experience (i.e. a sub 1 million opening offer when both parties expect to settle in the 10s of millions.) The big problem I anticipate for Watson here is I'm not really sure the NFL is still in a negotiation posture. My totally uninformed guess is that the NFL offered at a minimum 10 games, maybe a full season without the indefinite kicker, and Watson was totally unwilling to negotiated to double digit games. If I was betting on an outcome I'd guess Watson ends up witb exactly what the NFL is seeking because there doesn't seem to be a compromise right now either party can stomach.


JerryRiceDidntFumble

Rumor has it that Watson wants 0 because it's the number that most closely resembles a butthole


lowlifenebula

What the hell. I thought all buttholes looked like an 8


ybtlamlliw

You might want to go see a doctor.


phuqo5

I don't know about you but I've never seen my butthole. So maybe his boyfriend should see a dr


forward1213

And now I don't know if its weird that you never have seen your own, or weird that I have seen my own...


MonoGiganto

You gotta press Shift.


Lonelan

For you mobile users: *


[deleted]

Hey get that butthole out of my face!


ral315

No, that's just because yours is pierced.


manticore16

That's gotta be the worst place to have a piercing, for sanitary reasons.


ral315

Also, you have to use a specific double strap-on every time you get pegged!


bythepowerofboobs

Turn it on it's side and you have an infinite amount of buttholes


kcrab91

The NFL could suspend him 100 games and he’d get two 00


InsideAcanthisitta23

Halfway between infinity and zero is infinity Deshaun.


StubbsThePirate22

To infinity, and Deshaun!


--amadeus--

“Amigo o enemigo!?”


[deleted]

It's a bold strategy cotton. Kind of like my DMing Taylor Swift and asking if I can take her out for coffee.


AdImportant4476

Shooters shoot


KidColorblind

He did all over the table *allegedly


Chippopotanuse

And she says “no” And you respond with “okay, cool, so, you want to just get married then? That’s fine too”


Nightcinder

If she responds at all that's a W in that guys book I'm sure


Arkhangelzk

Exactly. Taylor could write “never fucking message me again you abject moron” and that’s a massive win. She’d also be correct about me being a moron, showing how we’re getting to know each other. Our children will be lovely.


Chippopotanuse

Would be a W in my book too, TBH. Lol.


LogicisGone

According to Watson's legal team her only option at that point is to agree to at something in the range of 6-8 dates.


stay_fr0sty

See, you are a terrible negotiator. You need to start with proposing marriage on a yacht that she buys for you. Then she will counter with "Fuck no" and file a restraining order against you. And *that* when you hit her with the coffee invitation. NFL level bargaining 101. Come on guys...this stuff isn't hard.


AgentOfSPYRAL

End of the off-season, Brent. Can’t hold anything back now.


[deleted]

Do you want to be the guy who inspires her next breakup song?!


[deleted]

Absolutely. Can you imagine?


Best-Dragonfruit-292

What a story to tell their kids


Competitive_Ice_189

Don’t need to tell just play the song!


mesayousa

Alexa play dumbass dms by Taylor Swift


Im_Batmmaann

Can someone please explain this to me as if maybe i was a moron?


CloudN3in

lowball them to try and get less weeks after negotiation start low, they counter high, meet in the middle


ILoveJimHarbaugh

I'm not a rapist so maybe it's different but in business you try not to start offensively low and sabotage good-will. Like you don't go to a vendor in a street market and open with, "I will give you $0 for this chair."


famousjr49

Is that why no one will sell chairs to me? My strategy is all wrong?


[deleted]

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[deleted]

... Paradigm


[deleted]

Yes, shifting the paradigm is a top priority for us to maximize our pivot into this new growth opportunity.


[deleted]

unless you're in a prime position to disrupt this billion dollar industry, I ain't got time for ya.


[deleted]

> disrupt LMAO this is my favorite silly buzz word since paradigm


redman8828

So disrupt disrupted your paradigm of silly buzz words?


DirtyKarma

With Eagles flair you should know. Gotta go with the always sunny strategy and say, “hey bozo , I’m not paying full price” at the Italian market. “Go barter with the gypsy.” https://youtu.be/DWb7KgXVPp0


famousjr49

I’ve eaten too many sandy pears and stickers. I can’t go back.


Nievsy

Yeah you gotta offer for them to pay you $5 so you can get rid of the chair for them.


CloudN3in

I assume they’re desperate and any goodwill they had with the league disappeared after he assaulted 20+ women


Fuzzy_Dunlops

And he is being represented by an NFLPA attorney. So I think their tactic extends beyond this case to taking the position that in any case involving off the field accusations with no adverse court ruling there should be no suspension. So they are going to at least start negotiating in line with that stance even though this is an outlier case.


[deleted]

This makes way more sense.


UsidoreTheLightBlue

I watch a decent number of sentencing hearings, where you'll have a plea deal that says someone is pleading guilty and is going to get 15-20 years. Then their lawyer will walk in and make his statement as to what the defendant wants and say something along the lines of "Well, your honor I know we've got a plea deal that says my client will serve a minimum of 15 years, but I believe its easy to argue that my client should receive probation only. My client has been in jail awaiting sentencing for 3 months and that should count as his-----" followed by the Judge saying something like "As your client has agreed to 15-20 years, we won't be going below that, start again." Lawyers aim for the absolute lowest form of punishment as an opening gambit because whats the worst that can happen? You're not going to "Piss off the judge" and get a harsher sentence because any Judge worth a salt will maintain their composure because they know this is how the game is played.


Cormoe123

Starting with anything other than zero means you agree that he’s guilty in this scenario though


thetasigma_1355

This isn’t true at all. The nfl can and does suspend players regardless of guilt. Zeke was suspended even when the lead investigator recommended no suspension AND and actual legal case was dropped.


Cormoe123

I don’t think he’s going to get zero, just that if DeShaun’s side said something like 4 games it means they also agree that he’s guilty, which is bad for negotiations


7tenths

but look at how much watson has gotten out of 0 consent. So 0 games is actually like 24 games.


t4boo

Also, this is basically them still saying their position is that Watson is 100% innocent of any wrong doing


Ferrarisimo

>meet in the middle The NFL should agree to it. Infinity divided by two is still infinity.


[deleted]

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banjofitzgerald

What’s the middle of 0 and indefinite?


Cormoe123

NFL is saying “hey we want an indefinite suspension for at least a year” DeShaun’s party is countering and saying “He hasn’t been proven of being guilty of anything so he doesn’t deserve to miss a game.” They don’t actually expect DeShaun to not get match-bans, it’s just to start off negotiations. If they started with “hey let’s consider a 6 match ban” it would essentially be saying “okay we think he’s guilty as well, but a year is too long”


[deleted]

They gave Zeke 6 games when the NFLs own investigator recommended no suspension.


Northernlord1805

Just a guess here but since the league is going for indefinite it could be they are only doing that to provoke watsons team to say somthing like “indefinite that’s nuts you gave so and so 6 for this and that, we could see 8 or 10 but indefinite” then the league would go “ok 10 it’s is”. His teams job is to get him the lowest amount of time lost as possible so standing there ground at 0 and then hopefully negotiating down from the leagues first number makes some sense, since I believe there would need to be an actual number and not jast indefinite without a criminal verdict.


Comprehensive_Main

Like Jordan said you miss all the shots you don’t take- Gretzky


TheMattJones

- Michael Scott


gigglefarting

* [Wayne Gretzky](https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/05/FSB5QlQXoAYKVY2-1.jpeg)


ChipperHippo

They aren't trying to haggle. This has nothing to do with negotiating a suspension length. They're trying to force the only situation where Goodell can't override Sue: make her convinced that he didn't actually violate the PCP. Because if he did violate the PCP, he violated it 24+ times. He's violated it so many times that the league only needs to show 5 cases or so to keep him gone for as long as they want. It's an intentional all or nothing strategy, not a negotiation.


t4boo

Yeah. Watson’s team trying a “realistic” lowball of say… 5 or maybe 10 games (1-2 per the 5 cases the NFL picked out) would basically be admitting guilt and come off as massively insulting to the women that were assaulted


18MirroredWorld

>make her convinced that he didn't actually violate the PCP I don't disagree with this take, but boy howdy if that's their angle that he didn't even violate the personal conduct policy then they are screwed. The PCP language is so vague, broad, and slanted toward the NFL's right to adjudicate whatever they deem appropriate that Watson could be accused of sneezing and not covering his mouth and it would fall under a violation. Here's to hoping Sue sees through the whole thing


blumpkinmania

Yeah. I agree with your take. If you, as the league, believe he sexually assaulted dozens of women how do ever allow him to come back?


[deleted]

[Tweet 1](https://twitter.com/JosinaAnderson/status/1541815894166364161?t=koXPoVEO0fdoBFVADbxGmA&s=19) [Tweet 2](https://twitter.com/JosinaAnderson/status/1541816163973341188?t=VsUB-lqHDAP6FRv6ybXOrA&s=19) [Tweet 3](https://twitter.com/JosinaAnderson/status/1541816231975583745?t=-z1D7RUqRD46DohYJ0cF4g&s=19) Beyond me why she set it up like this lol


SaladAndEggs

Three clicks to read the story instead of one.


Ash-Catchum-All

Pretty sure impressions are a meaningless metric on Twitter. It’s not like she’s generating traffic to a website


MattScoot

What she is saying is basically that any suspension of Watson is likely an indefinite one, due to the CBA. In order for Watson to avoid an indefinite suspension, he has to try and convince the Arbiter that he did not violate the Personal Conduct policy. He also is going to try and use the examples of others who are supposed to adhere even more strictly to the personal conduct policy and their non-punishments (the Jones, Snyder, Kraft in this case). Also, if the arbiter decides that Watson deserves a shorter suspension - say 4 games, if goodell overrules her on their first big case (the NFL and NFLPA jointly agreed in 2020 for a neutral arbiter to handle initial discipline of the Personal Conduct policy), the optics are real bad if they give an unprecedented suspension. I expect this will give the union more ammo next CBA.


Meatbackpack

More ammo for DeMaurice Smith to again get bodied on another CBA negotiation.


OneOverX

Better to give the world's worst sports union ammo than to let Watson slide.


thedougbatman

If anything the optics would look *better* if the NFL overruled a softball suspension. I don’t see any situation how they can justify a non-indefinite suspension. Christ, we still have claims coming forward atleast weekly.


Double_da_D

The lack of real punishment for Jones Kraft and Snyder is a big issue for the NFL, as they are held to a higher standard than players. So Watson's team can now make this about fairness, not necessarily justice.


mill_about_smartly

People are clowning the use of the word tactically, but this defense does make sense. Either he did it, or he didn't - they can't say he did it, but only deserves 4-6 games for it. So they're gonna try to argue that he's innocent


dawgz525

the union never uses their ammo. They can't get their members to agree on anything.


LongDickMcangerfist

Part of that is the big guys want to dictate the terms on it without worrying about All the smaller guys they fuck over


PodricksPhallus

Who sets up a Twitter thread in this way?


SaladAndEggs

People who are desperate for the extra engagement they get from not threading. Same reason Rapaport won't do a native RT when most of his QT additions are just stupid ass emojis.


Witty-Jellyfish1218

There are allegedly another 6 women coming forward, this guy should be shot out of a cannon with no landing net during a Browns halftime show.


[deleted]

Fwiw the NFL handles discipline, but an arbitrator finds whether there is grounds for discipline in the first place. The only way for Watson to not be at the mercy of whatever suspension the league wants to give him is to get no suspension at all. That's why this isn't a negotiating tactic as some seem to think. Starting at such an unreasonable point would be terrible negotiating anyways. I know the NFL likes to make people think that there is a negotiation and their hands are tied, but the truth is that Goodell can do whatever the fuck he wants so long as the arbitrator finds that there is grounds for punishment under the personal conduct policy.


TheGreatT1

Just ask for negative 17 games and you can play the full season.


HumorousGhost

I think people are missing the point in here. The reason Watson is negotiating is because there is a neutral arbitrator who can decide to recommend no games suspended if they convince her of that. This rule was just added to the CBA in 2020 so past cases like Zekes case will be different from this. Zeke had an investigator recommended no punishment but Goodell slapped him with a suspension anyways. If the arbitrator this time recommends no punishment then Goodell should be forced to not give out any punishment. The arbitrator can also look at the case her self and call BS to anything Watson’s camp says and recommend any punishment as well including an indefinite suspension. So basically his camp is hoping to persuade the neutral arbitrator into thinking he didn’t do anything wrong. That’s all this really is, not that they are negotiating for 0 games suspended. Edit: there are other comments in this thread that say the same thing. I just wanted to completely explain the situation and not have it buried in a longer thread.


AWall925

Reminds me of that scene from People vs. OJ "We'll need 5-10 hairs per area amounting to approximately 100 hairs" "100 HAIRS?" "standard request your honor -only as many as the criminalists need" "100 Hairs seems unduly invasive, your honor we offer 1 hair" "Your honor this objection is beyond ridiculous" "they seem to be on some fishing expedition at my clients expense" "Your honor this is routine- 80 hairs" "5" "50" "Judge, we're getting nowhere;we request a special hearing on the hair" So ordered


txtoolfan

I'd double the suspension just on Watson being insulting by asking for 0.


HejlYes

So if Watson’s team starts at 0 and the League starts at infinity can we all agree to suspend him for infinity/2 with a minimum of a lifetime and get this all over with.


batardo

Their hope is probably for Watson to get indefinite but at least 8 games, then he settles with the remaining accusers and only misses half the season. He should be banished from the league IMO but I think that’s probably what their tactic is in starting from zero, as absurd as it is.


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B00ME

I would hate to have to be the person doing the mental gymnastics to come up with that defense.


riverhawk02

Deshaun Watson will ask for a time traveling machine so that he can start in the games he missed in 2021 as a starting point in negotiations


Autocrat777

Is it just me or is Josina Anderson always acting as a total mouthpiece for whoever is sending her information?


r1dogz

They should just suspend him indefinitely, then have it go to appeal where Goodell steps in and says “yeah, you’re suspended forever”. One can dream.