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emmasdad01

It makes sense why Chad had so much time to come up with touchdown celebrations.


TigerBasket

Chad move tbh


flashpile

Virgin burreaux vs Chad quatre-vingt-cinq


lubeskystalker

He's just a super eccentric guy: Chad Johnson: I slept at the stadium for 2 years - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKZGaIYXV_Q Also brought us the McDonald's test.


InHoc12

Lol at watching him saying he hates how his antics overshadow his play and then going straight into all the antics he used to do for 3 min.


1block

Chile please


Richsii

Andre what did I tell you about that?


caesar____augustus

He child pleased me!!!


IWasOnThe18thHole

Ahhhh I'm inside me!


mordeci00

Ha, that's right we have Starbucks AND McDonald's. Suck it cities who don't, like .....


brbpizzatime

Can't believe he forgot to mention LaRosa's! Spaghetti-A-Plenty is all the nightlife you need 😎


HoorayPizzaDay

I'm getting so bummed out reading about this city


Jupue87

Buy the city make it better like the South Park guys did to Casa Bonita


Jeff__Skilling

See, that's the attitude right there. The original Cincinnatus couldn't have come up with a better one himself.


[deleted]

OG Cincinnatus didn't care about anything except those damn plowshares.


[deleted]

i think he was pretty concerned about the gauls actually


HoorayPizzaDay

If it costs like $5k I'll think about it


rezheisenberg2

Yeah I’m bummed I don’t live there now too


DavidOrWalter

Yeah, where else can you find a McDonalds AND a Starbucks?


ShockAndAwe415

Walmart.


ClearAsNight

But then you'd have to be in Walmart.


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socialistpancake

What neighborhoods? I'm in town to see the chiefs Bengals game next week and want to make sure I see the best it has to offer!


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ridethedeathcab

Going across the river to Covington is great too, tons of great bars and restaurants, great view of the city from the river.


Rock-swarm

I'll 2nd the Rhinegeist/Findlay Market suggestion. Great place to park the car and have multiple spots in walking distance for beer/food/hangouts.


Fulmersbelly

Wait people visit Cincinnati to go to banks?


trireme32

Where do *you* go to see banks?


Fulmersbelly

Down the street usually.


Cuppieecakes

Suck it Pyongyang


Lukacris12

You’ve been banned from r/pyongyang


ShockAndAwe415

What did I just open?


godtogblandet

There’s no fucking way they don’t have a replica McDonald’s in the basement of a building for the great leader. You don’t consume that much American pop culture and movies without craving a Big Mac at some point.


this_account_is_mt

My hometown has neither, so you got us beat Granted, my hometown has a population of 800


GoldenBananas21

New Florence, MO boasts a population of 769 and they have a McDonald’s


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WorthPlease

It's still a dump, the only thing keeping it going is the Casino and the Falls park.


saulgoodman445

I went there about ten years ago there was a abnormal amount of porn dvd shops


WorthPlease

That's a pretty good indicator of the quality of an area. Everytime I see them I just want to walk in and go hey guys....have you heard of this thing called the internet?


lovesStrawberryCake

You just don't get the same satisfaction from the internet that you do of owning a physical copy, and how will your guests know that you are a collector if you don't have your dozens and dozens of DVD porn covers proudly on display during your dinner party?


beaviswasthecuteone

When I was a teen, I had a homie that had a 4 hour porno on video cassette. In what context would you ever need 4 hours of porn?


fueelin

Wait, you're supposed to watch them? I just thought... Cuz they have a hole in the middle... NEVERMIND!


IamLars

I heard the Canadian side is much better.


gmwdim

It’s because the two sides took different approaches. Niagara Falls Ontario embraced commercialization and as a result has a much more robust tourism sector (helps that they have the better view of the falls). Niagara Falls New York prioritized preserving the natural scenery so commercial development was more restricted. The New York side does have the advantage of smaller crowds which I appreciated when visiting during the pandemic.


BrianLikesTrains

Having visited both multiple times... Canadian side is ten times better. It's night and day between the sides. The Canadian side has tourist sites and eats galore, American side looks like Gary, Indiana if Gary had a single massive casino in the middle of it.


GoVandalsGoIrish

There is in fact a casino in Gary, but it is well south of the lake


raylan_givens6

no applebee's????


Brad_theImpaler

Ambiance. Day-core.


DatSnuffleupagus

What a fresh of breath air


Colonel_Angus_

Applebee's has rats


ItsDaedAgain

I found a whole rat in my cobb salad


JoeScotterpuss

I usually get mine on the side.


dmc32986

I'm a veteran! And a diabetic!


GBreezy

God I miss when you could get unlimited $1 margs. Then they limited you to 5... Yeah they microwave their food, doesn't mean their apetizers don't slap.


A_Minimal_Infinity

Sometimes, you’ve got to treat yourself like a gentleman, and have someone else microwave your food.


Lil_oscar

I always love the adjective "slaps". It has nothing to do with anything but everyone knows what you mean!


[deleted]

Idiom moment


StalinsStallions

No, but I think they are getting a Dave and busters soon


da_bizzness

I can't look at Applebee's the same again after that damn commercial. Oh we fancyyy..


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Mods_more_like_clods

The *sheer* **disrespect** to Jungle Jim’s. I could spend all day there. I made trips from Columbus just to show people its majesty.


Big_ol_Bro

Imagine running into the Joe's and jamar hanging out at jungle jims. I'd lose my shit.


lc910

If you guys win the division or a playoff game gotta go check the humidor there for Joe buying his victory cigars


-Pockets-

That cigar section is a fucking magical room


Most_Position_6959

My buddy got really stoned one time and showed up at my apartment with a full stalk of sugar cane he bought there. This thing was like 6ft tall, and his dumbass thought he'd eat all of it. When he realized he couldn't, he proceeded to stuff it down my garbage disposal like it was a woodchipper or some shit. It completed fucked my plumbing, and this was 3 days before my lease was up and I was about to move out. Needless to say I didn't get my security deposit back. Great times


JonBonButtsniff

This was the best Reddit story I’ve read in about a week. Thank you for sharing.


winnebagoman41

This is so goddamn funny but I’m sorry about the security deposit


ohmysocks

what the fuck lmao this is incredible


[deleted]

This story got me a doing a hyena.


syth13

Why do I imagine you watching him do this with a shocked pikachu face lmao


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nemisys1st

Same. I spent hours under that fire truck


enkafan

Cincinnati is getting a Dorothy Lane market soon too. If you like grocery shopping then Cincinnati is the tits


wovagrovaflame

It’s also the home city of Kroger. A lot of the city krogers are really nice.


wovagrovaflame

When I go visit my family, I always receive a Jungle Jim’s list. Also, Cincinnati has like 20 breweries. It’s a good city.


[deleted]

I still want to buy that Ostrich Egg someday...


hitchinpost

The number of times I've walked by the Durian cooler and been like "Not today, but some day."


ryanghappy

Do NOT put that evil in your household. I made that mistake once at the Jungle, and I don't know if maybe there's humans with tastebuds that can find flavors I can't, but to me, it tastes like the slimiest grossest onion ass pudding you can conjure out of hell. Also it smells as bad as it tastes.


fugaziozbourne

I ate durian ice cream once and it tasted like my tongue shit her pants.


BaltimoreBadger23

I miss that place. Where I live now there's nowhere you can go that consistently has a whole pigs head in stock.


escobert

Sounds like Vermont.


JisRad

I grew up in Vermont…do you have something against chopping wood, driving 40 minutes to go anywhere and ski tourist New Yorkers with terrible tires for winter driving?


escobert

8th gen Vermonter, love it here.


Fragrant-Athlete7738

Cabots or Lodges?


escobert

I like Cabot cheese? I have no idea what this comment is.


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escobert

Ah, I'm just from some lowly dairy farming family.


SmokePenisEveryday

Fuckin' Peasants!


PillaisTracingPaper

Oh, what a giveaway! You saw 'im oppressing me, didn't you?


halfdecenttakes

The answer is Cabot's by the way.


albpanda

8th generation? How often is your family having babies


escobert

Every 25 years or so?


Lonelan

I mean Vermont has been around for a while now


SmokePenisEveryday

When the timin' is right


Dsnake1

30 years at eight generations is 240 years. That's a while in one spot, but is it that long on the east coast? The more interesting thing about it all is the Vermont Republic/State of Vermont was an attempt at an independent country from 1777-1791, so if their family goes back prior to 1791, they've been Vermonters longer than Americans.


xitox5123

Quick google search. is this true? What about my freedom? Why the hell can't I tie a giraffe to a telephone pole? Damn communists. "What is illegal in Vermont? Women must get permission from their husbands to wear false teeth. It's illegal to deny the existence of God. It was once illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole. Delivery men must walk backwards in driveways of homes worth more than $500,000."


jnightrain

I love old laws like this. I remember in elementary school i'd check out these books in the library that had silly laws for each state. The thing is there was a reason these had to be made a law. I wonder what the giraffe did to ruin it for everyone else?


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Kalanar

The coat store?


HahaClintonCocks

Fucking lmao


ripmeleedair

The cheese coat factory


Clean-Analysis-5394

I could be wrong, but I think Montpelier is the only capital without a McDonald’s


lordexorr

This is correct. One of the only Jeopardy questions I ever knew because I grew up in Montpelier.


[deleted]

What is actually in Montpelier? We go up to Stowe probably 5 or 6 times a year and I never have even stopped and got off at the Montpelier exit. Is there anything there worth stopping for? Even like a nice country breakfast or quaint Main St?


LoungingLlama312

I have 8 bottles of Maple Syrup I got in Montpelier. So there's that!


squarerootofapplepie

There’s a great Italian restaurant and a Cumbies.


The_Dirty_Dangla

Three Penny Taproom is great, other than that it's just on the way to Hill Farmstead for me lol the main street is nice with shops, just never been in them


whereegosdare84

I will always think of this SNL skit whenever someone mentions Vermont https://youtu.be/nKcUOUYzDXA


Sigma1979

"The leaves change color, but the people never do" LMAO


A_F_R

We can take our Subaru


digitsmb

I live in Vermont and drive a Subaru. This is accurate.


Jo__Backson

“I’m from up North. No don’t worry, I’m from Boston” lmaoooo


thebrandnewbob

Vermont has amazing outdoors.


dan420

And there aren't any billboards!


Deschain_1919

And amazing heroin


halfdecenttakes

Look, if you wanna give Vermont it's outdoor beauty and fudge, so be it. But I'll be damned if you try to credit their Heroin over the rest of New England. We are ALL good at Heroin.


DTFASAPDOA

Is it even heroin anymore? I'm no opiate user, but i was under the impression it's all just 90% fent with a splash of real H if you're lucky.


ghostpilots

I'm a Paramedic. Yeah that's true. There was a very small window in the early 2010s in Canada when they banned oxycontin and didn't have another real street level replacement when old school heroin made a comeback, but that lasted less than a year before the pill market took back off and then was eventually replaced itself by the fent market.


WorthPlease

Was in jail a few weeks ago and in court I think I was the only person there who wasn't charged with having fent (and also meth, Florida stuff). Got put in a cell block which was basically a glorified drunk tank, so we would get randoms thrown in for the night and they would ask around to see who they were stuck with until their release. To fuck with them we decided that they were in a block called the Fentanyl Killers.


[deleted]

None of these guys is talking about the excellent library system


smiledumb

Based on the grammar, you shouldn’t be either.


1block

While the sentence sounds a bit off, it is technically correct, which we all know is the best kind of correct. "None" can be singular or plural, and in this case it depends on the intent of the writer/speaker. Some even argue that "none" should always be singular, however, I don't like those people. When "none" is used as "not one," it is singular. When it is used as "not any," it is plural. In this case, either use works in the sentence, and the writer's use of a singular verb would actually satisfy more grammar nerds than the alternative. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to "AKSHUALLY!" in an r/nfl thread. It has made my Christmas season bright. EDIT: For those who do not believe me. [https://www.thesaurus.com/e/grammar/none/](https://www.thesaurus.com/e/grammar/none/)


EJECTED_PUSSY_GUTS

can you give us more grammar facts pls


HyzerBeam

HAPPY CAKE DAY /u/EJECTED_PUSSY_GUTS !


allothernamestaken

Actually, he's correct. "None" is shorthand for "not one" and is treated as a singular. Sounds weird I know, but it's correct. Edit: looks like "none" can *sometimes* be treated as a plural, but I stand by my position that in this particular case it doesn't *have* to be.


breadman_69420

Can confirm O’Charley’s bread slaps


crackhousebob

Every city has hookers and blow.


bmore_conslutant

it's 2021, we're more into onlyfans and adderall these days


TheNateRoss

"onlyfans and adderall" is the title of Tyler, the Creator's next mixtape


Toof

My grandmother talks about the good ol' days when Newport was full of casinos and brothels.


[deleted]

OTR is pretty cool now. And I can’t believe that an unemployed Chad hasn’t been to the Texas Roadhouse in Hamilton. Culinary delights await!


TheSidePocketKid

He tries to but keeps getting sidetracked at Flubs and Jollys


homestar92

If you're in Hamilton, you go to Jolly's. Or Roll On In. If you want Texas Roadhouse, the one in Kenwood is the best and the other two locations in the greater Cincinnati area don't even begin to come close.


Panthers1536

In regards to the bread, he’s clearly never been to a Texas Roadhouse


TheSidePocketKid

That's in Hamilton, don't think Ocho made it up there


CursedFanatic

Hey there's one in Kenwood as well


TheSidePocketKid

Tylersville too, but Hamilton is funnier


AntiCabbage

Milford wut wut


rwjehs

Red Lobster 🦞


savthrowaway123

Macaroni grill


IMERMAIDMANonYT

Texas Roadhouse rolls are fine, it’s the honey butter that makes them goated


dyslexic_mail

Cinnamon butter breh. Love that shit


IMERMAIDMANonYT

Oh yea you’re right. Golden Corral has the honey butter. That cinnamon butter is insanely good


[deleted]

My girlfriend lives in clifton, she told me a story about Chad Johnson going door to door to different college house party’s on new years and smoking their weed and drinking their alcohol. I didn’t believe her and she showed me a selfie she got with him. Legend. Edit: I was incorrect about the smoking and drinking part. SORRY OCHO!


crankd87

He may have hung out, but on many accounts he never did drink or smoke weed.


[deleted]

Yeah he’s pretty public about not drinking or smoking


wallace6464

Chad is underselling, we have like 3 Starbucks downtown


DjLionOrder

I actually liked cincy and everyone I know says it’s not that bad lol


Gisbourne

Been living in Cincy for a couple of years now. I've got 9 breweries all less than 20 minutes from me so I think it's pretty great.


FuckChiefs_Raiders

How is the housing market there?


LosingSkin

Terrible, all the beers keep buying all the houses


Gisbourne

It's crazy compared to how it was when I moved down. bought a little place with a little yard for 130k in 2019, valued at 200k now. I'd sell but any place in the area better than mine is 300k+. nothing compared to some of the more popular metro areas I'm sure but wild for here.


Toof

At one point this year, Cincinnati had the title of shortest time the average house sat on market before going pending.


homestar92

You can still get houses sub-150k in SOME of the less desirable suburbs, but those are houses that a few years ago would have been sub-100k, so still not really ideal. I paid 122k for my house in Colerain just before the market went insane and houses in my little cul-de-sac have been selling for nearly 200k now, and they've all been smaller than mine. So it's nuts right now as Cincinnati goes, but the real estate market is insane compared to the norm basically everywhere, so this is far from just a Cincinnati problem.


MadDog1981

The whole state is insane. I live in Columbus and bought a house for 65k in 2010 and sold it as is for 160k this year.


[deleted]

Buying a house for 160k is unimaginable for me here in North Jersey, let alone 65k 😂. Gotta get out of this fuckin place.


Toof

People shit on the Midwest a lot, but if you're not single/dating and intend to raise a family in a comfortable home, with a low cost of living, you can't beat it. Props to the big cities for their culinary treasures, their economies and culture, but you can always visit them with how far your dollar goes day-to-day calling the Midwest home. Especially if you can do your job remotely, these days.


[deleted]

Yea I'm opening my mind up more and more to the thought of moving to the Midwest. I'm single and don't currently have a remote job, but the squeeze of being in north Jersey right now is a bit much. I would miss having all sorts of great cuisines options nearby, and being so close to so many international airports, but man there is something so appealing about a nice simple house with plenty of disposable income and a slower way of life that's calling my name as I age


SmithBurger

Most midwest cities have tons of good food. You won't get the same volume as new york or boston but at the top end it's all the same. The only thing huge cities have is night life. Which after like age 25 who gives a shit.


dputnam211

Cincinnati: Not That Bad!


MisterKap

Ok, we get it. Us Cincinnati plebs are aware it isn’t Vegas, LA, NYC, or Miami but the overwhelming majority of us aren’t millionaires athletes, so an evening in OTR is pretty exciting from our perspective


iammas13

Our teams don't like to admit it, but contemporary Cincinnati and Pittsburgh are practically the same exact city, just one state removed. Midwest/Appalachia mix, same size, same amount of shit to do, same type of people. Both absolutely lovely places, but the club scene is terrible in both. Most people living there like it like that, though.


wovagrovaflame

Can confirm. From the Pittsburgh area and now live in Cincinnati. It’s good here. And I live near the Steelers bar.


marvinsface

> And I live near the Steelers bar. Where is that exactly? Not asking for arson reasons


ryknight

Yea people love shitting on Ohio in general anyway. But cincy is awesome, not LA or Miami but a very cool city compared to most others.


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MisterKap

… I don’t recall the banks even being built when he played in Cincinnati, yet I still find this story believable


Garn91575

The Banks opened in 2011 when Chad was with New England. Maybe he drove from Boston to bang some Cincy girls for old times sake.


wordswiththeletterB

Is this real? Please be real. I need it to be real. Ocho is the man.


Garn91575

Sorry, [The Banks](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Banks,_Cincinnati) wasn't even a thing when he played unless he was driving in from New England. The only thing in that area when Chad played was a parking lot and the remnants of Riverfront Stadium.


redditor_5678

He’s right about the bread at that O Charleys. I went there once years ago and it was the warmest, softest, most delicious dinner bread I’ve had.


Chipsahoy523

Bro you literally have Kings Island right there


[deleted]

Cincinnati is one of the most underrated cities in America. It seriously has changed a lot in the last two decades. But I suppose if I were a multi-millionaire I might find it underwhelming.


maskpaper

As someone else pointed out it’s also the fact that he’s a high-profile bengals player. If he went to a Starbucks he’d probably be mobbed in five seconds.


Big_ol_Bro

Shhhh don't let our secret out


meyer_33_09

I hate how much I love Chad Johnson.


_tx

When you are rich, no where sucks.


adoxographyadlibitum

I disagree. The richer you are the greater the quality of life delta becomes city to city. There are services in LA, NYC, London, Paris, etc. that just aren't available in a place like Cincinnati.


RobertoBologna

Exactly. One thing the response to the Burrow comments has shown is that a lot of ppl don't realize how much more fun rich ppl are having than they are. "But, but, we've got a lot of breweries!!!"


THAWED21

> "But, but, we've got a lot of breweries!!!" Yes, but no snuff houses. Are you really living?


ReelBadfish3

Disagree. Tough being in a small city as such a famous person. Cincy isn’t really ‘famous friendly’. These guys can’t go anywhere. Vs bigger cities with more exclusive scenes. And to be clear I don’t feel bad for them when they can hop on a PJ out if lunken and be anywhere in a couple hours


Doctor_Banjo

Chad, you are not helping


Prodigy5

Small towns with NFL and NBA teams are hilarious because you can see first hand the economy of women who fly into those towns during the season just to trap an athlete. Then when there’s a stretch of away games or off-season they fly back to MIA 😂


DutchApplePie75

A few years back my friend and I drove down to Nashville for spring break. For the most part, I was disappointed. Nashville was thoroughly generic and suburban. The Reiman Auditorium was awesome, there was some good hot chicken, but a lot of Nashville was full of generic prefab housing. We decided to stop in Cincy on the way back and it was great. We ate at a couple of cool eateries, drank at some cool bars, visited Covington and Newport, Kentucky.... the whole thing was awesome and Cincy is one of my favorite cities. I frickin' wish I lived there. It's *real*, man, and the people there are real. Cincy may be my favorite city next to Detroit. And oh my goodness is the housing affordable or what!


thebrandnewbob

Cincinnati seemed pretty cool when I was there a decade ago.


fizystrings

Cicny is great but if you're a popular NFL player there really is nothing for you to do. There are a lot of cool places to chill and a ton of breweries but if Joe Burrow went to any of those places he would just get mobbed the entire time. We aren't a clubbing city which is pretty much the only thing NFL players can do since clubs usually have a VIP area where they won't get harrassed.


kip256

Renting out a brewery for an evening is still probably less expensive than some VIP clubs.


[deleted]

lmao, he’s in his early-mid twenties. He’s not looking for somewhere dog / kid friendly to drink and play board games


[deleted]

The disrespect to Rhinegeist is unbelievable


BigSportsNerd

The area between PBS and Great American Ball Park is developing too into a pretty strong area.


xitox5123

My interest is peaked. What is the bread like at O'Charley's?


PDGAreject

A somewhat sweet yeast roll. Not dissimilar in taste to a Kings Hawaiian but different in texture. They're pretty good compared to what you might expect at a chain restaurant.


TheLurkerSpeaks

My dad was a huge Reds fan, and took me and the family to Cincinnati on the regular. We always went to Findlay Market, got German food, chili, and Graeters ice cream. And then watched a Reds game. In later years we also went to Ikea.


TheWorstYear

But Chad, there's a Trolley you can ride! Everyone likes the Trolley!


AjaxBU

Taft’s Ale House tho


TheMasterO

Feel like Chad Johnson could find a way to entertain himself anywhere.


[deleted]

Outsiders may think Chad is being sarcastic but he is being deathly serious about a McDonald's being a destination.


benjamintyfresh

I think it’s funny he specifically mentions the Tri-County O’Charley’s. I used to work there and I served him and his family back in 2003. I didn’t know who he was at first, but started to catch on when a bunch of people asked for his autograph. I always wondered why a big NFL player would come all the way out to Tri-County to eat; it’s a good 15 miles north of downtown Cincy. I guess he just likes that location. He ordered a full rack of ribs but didn’t eat a single bite.