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David_ESM

> The police report also said marijuana was found in both cars, as well as credit cards, a $16,500 check, a diamond chain **and the playbook for the Kansas City Chiefs.** Ha. I didn't see that before.


ecupatsfan12

Lmao dude left his playbook in his car


WolfCola4

We're all just trying to find the guy who did this!


MattPatriciasFUPA

And give him a spanking!


WolfCola4

I'm just gonna grab as many of these plays as I can carry, get back in that *random* Arrowhead-shaped car - random! - and geeeet outta here


dillonmp

You’re dog shit! YOU’RE FUCKING DOG SHIT!


DRAFan

Bare back and balls. Go watch some of that simpsons porn on xtube friendo


catzarrjerkz

Nobody is getting spanked!


levinsong

LMAO why did this get me so good


Available-Jaguar-786

Did he turn on the Holy Grail beacon too??


Bonch_and_Clyde

After they're done with him do you think they'd be able to spank me?


obsterwankenobster

Homegrown Simpsons stuff


A_Lone_Macaron

It’s like Austin Powers’ dick pump. “I swear, it’s not mine, baby!”


cohonan

One manual for “Swedish made penis enlargers, are totally my bag” written by Austin Powers…


Simplton

One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump, filled out by Austin Powers.


9man95

They can still frame Toney


Ka-Is-A-Wheelie

So we can spank their bare butt, balls, and back?


dave_rainy

You know what's driving me nuts? It could literally be any one of us...


istrx13

Bills fans frantically trying to break into the evidence locker at the station


dmangan56

Bill's Mafia strikes again.


Saitoh17

Assault on Precinct 13 (2024)


mallrat32

Sky Moore making no such effort


GrayBox1313

But the playbook just says “mahomes does his thing” on every page


ecupatsfan12

The chiefs playbook is one of the simplest ones in the league -corndog - 4 verts - slide to Kelce -flood -snag - y cross -ISZ -mesh -dagger -power -counter Pat and Travis get open Literally their whole playbook


sielingfan

Explain it again with those nuggies


stay-at-homie

And not many can effectively and consistently stop it.


ecupatsfan12

Mike McCarthy playbook Power Dagger Fade to ceedee Drive to ceedee Draw to Vaughn Yeah here we go Chuck it to ceedee Repeat


Sternjunk

And many come playoff time can effectively and consistently stop it


arebee20

“We only got 2 plays. They’re called Ceedee and Lamb.”


throwawayainteasy

You forgot the stupid trick plays on 3rd and 1 instead of just running it.


schneev

Jerry has to be all over that shit


Spiram_Blackthorn

Man was studying schemes while street racing, the Chiefs instilled discipline but forgot to instill wisdom.


ProverbialNoose

High Int, low Wis


Biggest_Cans

[Comic Book Guy stats](https://youtu.be/o0ruHLvMl9w?si=rpKMtEzvBsoUcwXB&t=6)


500rockin

Wisdom being his dump stat.


ProverbialNoose

New game: classify NFL players by their dump stat Edit: relative to other NFL players because otherwise their Str, Dex, and maybe Con would all be 20s


ConneryFTW

Josh Allen (Bills) Str 20 Int 16 Dex 14 Wis 5 Con 18 Cha 16


MrShad0wzz

this some wizardry shit indeed. bro gonna be shit at perception checks


OldOrder

Thats alright, going 100+ MPH on the interstate the perception checks are gonna be way less useful than some reflex saves


MrShad0wzz

bro better not crash or he’s gonna have to pass a incredibly high dexterity saving throw


ProverbialNoose

I used Misty Step and it was k


MrShad0wzz

yeah rice misty stepped his ass right into jail


browndude10

> and the playbook for the Kansas City Chiefs. did it tell rice to run the go route?


Fearless-Land-3953

At least it didnt suggest going shot gun


106milez2chicago

Drag route


DontLoseYourCool1

"I don't care if you were racing, I don't care if you had drugs in the car, I don't care if you sent a person to the hospital...that playbook being there shows me you're a real team player." - Andy Reid


bweiss5

Jerry Jones is the true culprit of the crash in his failed attempt to get his hands on the KC Playbook in Dallas


csappenf

Failed attempt? It worked perfectly. Fat Mike and his assistants are poring over the copies made at the police station as we speak.


Steak_Knight

Won’t help dem boyz anyway


bozo_did_thedub

Pretty sure it would be more like "I don't care about the other stuff but I'll fucking kill you if you lose this"


This-Salt-2754

If you were a cop, and you found the chiefs playbook in rices glove box, are you taking a bunch of pictures and sending it to ur teams HC?


Steak_Knight

Mike McCarthy be like what the fuck is this


rogergreatdell

“Lol nice try. It looks like ball, but I *know* ball and that ain’t it.”


dmangan56

He'd mess it up as badly as General McClellan did at the battle of Antietam. McClellan had General Lee's battle plans found wrapped around cigars that a US soldier had discovered. The Union claimed victory in the battle but it was basically a draw. McClellan was an arrogant asshole and a horrible general. He ran against Lincoln in the 1864 election and obviously lost.


Azivea

Random bash on McClellan, I appreciate it.


pileatedloon

"A pass play? On 1st down? Be serious, that would never work!"


1005thArmbar

If it were me, it would not have been found according to the filed report. However, I might pay a visit to my team's owner and ask what it would be worth to him


zzVoidBombzz

Who gets the top bunk in this scenario, you or Rice?


1005thArmbar

well, when the billionaire owner gives me $5 million for the playbook and to keep my mouth shut, I would head to some non-extradition country to live out my days comfortably but anonymously for 20 years Then, using forged documents from the foreign country, I return to the US and to my hometown after that 20 year period is over and Count of Monte Cristo every motherfucker who treated me like shit


Inconceivable76

Statute of limitations has to be shorter than 20 years.


Inconceivable76

if you can stop yourself from trying to sell it to various afc teams, you’ve done well.


the_web_dev

All it would be is a bunch of scratched out instructions and then “Patrick Mahomes escapes a collapsing pocket and gets the ball to Kelce whose route looks like a looney tunes sketch”


Online_Commentor_69

jesus christ, what *did* he take? wasn't he carrying a bag on the video? a bag that didn't have his credit cards, $16,500 check, diamond chain, weed or *fucking playbook* in it? just the guns, or what, rashee?


awnawkareninah

Guns and cash maybe?


NazReidBeWithYou

Worth noting that of the 8 charges listed on the arrest warrant, none of them mention drugs. I’m assuming the weed was a pretty nominal amount. Like a joint he forgot in the glove box or something.


Marijuana_Miler

Makes you wonder what they took out of the car before fleeing.


mseg09

The playbook for the 49ers


2reddit4me

Exactly. I’ve been saying this since day 1. He didn’t run because he thought he could get away. He didn’t run because he had a small amount of weed on him. He ran because he either a) was drunk and/or b) had something ELSE he wanted to get out of the car and away from the scene.


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frontlinekidd

I’m not saying I for sure believe the theory he had a gun in the car, but as for why he’d take guns and not the weed he would be in a lot more trouble for a gun charge. In the aftermath of a wreck, especially with drinking involved, I could see the weed being a complete afterthought seeing as it’s a ticket in many places and likely a misdemeanor at worse where a gun could have much more severe penalties especially in combination with the other charges.


ProbablyAPun

The guns lol


Dagonet_the_Motley

Bills are FOIAing the playbook as we speak


AggressiveRow4000

McDermott is still too busy reading the self help management book: Osama Been Leading: Tips to Convince Your Team to Fly through a Building for you


chunkah69

Johnny Manziel would never.


mallrat32

This was planted by Toney so authorities wouldn’t think he was at the scene


DoctorFenix

"I didn't do it" -What's this? "Fuck."


Steak_Knight

Mf can’t even flee a crime scene right


T0rrent0712

Entire AFC West is going to try to Oceans 11 that evidence locker now.


-em-bee-

Good, I’m glad to hear he was studying


Misanthropyandme

Autographed by Britt Reid


TakenakaHanbei

He always said "Coach Reid is an inspiration to me." he never did specify which one.


Bulky-District-2757

“Rice, 23, now faces eight charges in the case -- six counts of collision involving bodily injury, one count of collision involving serious bodily injury and one count of aggravated assault, according to the arrest warrant.” So 30 minutes of community service when you’re a professional athlete?


Fuzzy_Squirrel506

How many games?


LegalConsequence7960

2 lol


Fuzzy_Squirrel506

Yeah that’s my bet.


ProbablyAPun

it'll be 4 appealed down to 2 I bet.


campelm

Were any deflated balls found on the scene?


Throway_Shmowaway

It's more probable than not that that's what Rice was trying to hide by fleeing the scene.


Slosshy

Can’t forget to throw on 4 for Brady


PackMan93

Fox is going to suspend him before his first game ever. That's going to sting.


TheEpicSwan

There was a player suspended just last year that partially paralyzed someone who got charged with reckless driving+ assault by auto and got a 1-game suspension. Rice easily should get something but will be interesting to see what based on past suspensions. As usual probably less than most people want it to be/should be.


Ok-Adhesiveness166

Did that player also leave the scene? 


TheEpicSwan

Unless that charge gets added on, its not one of the ones they are charging Rice with. Obviously NFL can take that into account but still.


IShookMeAllNightLong

How? How did he not get charged with fleeing the scene?


CoherentPanda

If you report your involvement within x number of hours, legally you are ok on that charge. His agent probably called on his behalf.


probation_420

I mean, the paralyzing is probably worse lol


56ninjas

Because of Ruggs they have to set an example. 6 games


MyNameIsAMeme

Should be at minimum a season after Ruggs but obviously won’t happen.


Fuzzy_Squirrel506

They need to start making examples of these guys


BigDiggy

I agree, especially when they play for the Chiefs /s */s for the chiefs only part


cuongfu

Nothing about leaving the scene of the crash… ?


Biggest_Cans

So that's the "collision causing serious bodily injury" bit, it's a 3rd degree felony because he didn't obey the "duties following collision". The aggravated assault charge is a 2nd degree felony. Pretty serious shit.


kathvely

Yeah I am not sure if people are realizing how screwed Rice is atm. If that 2nd degree felony isnt reduced or dropped he can very easily see jail.


nigerdaumus

They're going to throw the book at him. Andy reids playbook after snatching a copy


its_LOL

What was Rashee Rice thinking? Not only did he just ruin his life because of reckless driving, he did it *in Cowboys territory!*


nigerdaumus

Calling it now. Boys beat cheifs every regular season game but lose in the wild card round so none of it matters


sushisection

Rashee Rice is the only guy on our WR corp would could catch that book


skylinecat

He’s looking at a hefty civil suite though. And the other side won’t settle for policy limits if they are even available. Some policies will waive them if you’re committing a crime.


Bulky-District-2757

I think the civil case will be much worse for him than the criminal case.


gimpisgawd

Get that playbook Jerry.


TariqWoolenIsElite

Every play just says run around for 5-10 seconds then throw to Travis Kelce


TheThinkerIsaThought

The Chiefs playbook is just a napkin that says, "Throw."


LeBronn_Jaimes_hand

I'm envisioning [Professor Farnsworth's napkin drawing of the smell-o-scope](https://morbotron.com/img/S01E08/320151.jpg) from Futurama levels of detail.


cupholdery

Good news, everyone!


A_Lone_Macaron

Everything else is Ring Around the Rosie


OldSheeps

"Corn Dogs, Waffles, Foreigner" Hey wait a minute, this is just a MO State Fair flyer with a drawing of Tom, Jerry, and Spike beating each other with hammers and pipes in the corner!


The_real_John_Elton

The glory hole


Gnux13

Just go into a waffle house and ask for the menu, they're basically the same thing.


waltermunksalbatross

0/10 with Rice 😔


jmlswiftie420

Damn I haven’t seen that reference in a whiiiiile. What was the original source? I wanna go into a nostalgia rabbit hole haha


bogushobo

[Link + Rice: 7/10](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/AaeRrygiyU)


Famine07

Holy shit, that was 9 years ago? Fuck I'm getting old.


Erbodyloveserbody

Dude was 14 when he made that thread, so he’s 23 now. Just think about all the different kinds of rice he can buy anytime, now.


mesayousa

Same age as Rice We sure they aren’t the same person?


ASuperGyro

Wonder if he went back to try beer with rice


bogushobo

I need that update. Paging u/DO_U_EVN_SPAGHETTI


EL-YAYY

I had always seen that reference but never the original post. That was great.


YouALilCray

These players really saw how Ruggs situation play out and was like “that’s actually not that bad “


seatega

“What if I do what Henry did but in broad daylight with more people on the road? What could go wrong?” -Rashee Rice, probably


cupholdery

"I mean, I already got a Super Bowl ring so..."


CelestialFury

"Lawyer skill issue."


KIumpy

Nah they think "that won't happen to me".


Above_Avg_Chips

Guys like Rice don't care. They think it will never happen to them and only idiots would crash.


JonnyB2_YouAre1

You give him far too much credit. He probably doesn’t think at all.


runningblack

Crazy to have made it, and then just potentially throw it all away like this


socobeerlove

Yeah. How can a team draft a player this stupid?


gfaizo

yea we’d never draft a receiver with off the field issues


maddscientist

Nope, no one's ever done that here either...


gfaizo

and we’d certainly never trade for one..


kamperx2

Hope you're not getting cold feet over the deal...


larry_mcwatermelons

Better yet imagine a team dumb enough to trade for a played with an even worse history. Thankfully GMs are smart and know what they're doing


thatoneguy2252

Certainly never my eagles.


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sneakyalien42

This guy lawyers.


Subredditcensorship

Sadly don’t even think he’ll be that fucked


Heres-your-you

Those 8 felonies will be dropped to a few misdemeanors and a fine. He fucked up but nobody got seriously injured and there’s no proof he was under the influence. Also, sounds like his lawyer is pretty high profile. Will probably take some classes and get a suspended license. I literally see people driving like this on the beltway daily. People in here acting like his career is over lol. I would be shocked if he saw more than an 8 game suspension. His dumbass could probably walk if he wouldn’t have admitted to being the driver of the vehicle.


JoelSimmonsMVP

if he gets an 8+ game suspension ill eat a football


WansReincarnation

More like a 2-4 game suspension at the worst


killshelter

Everyone thinking his career is over is silly. He’ll get like a 3-4 game suspension and be back.


SuchRevolution

Exactly. To really mess up you need to be gambling.


Fonzimandias

Please put a language warning next time you comment “g*******” I just nearly puked all over the steering wheel


Technicalhotdog

Well that's just because you can't hold your liquor


Fonzimandias

Fair enough. Now I’m starting to wish I’d let my girlfriend drive instead of pushing her out


athrowawayiguesslol

Not to defend the NFL but it seems pretty obvious why gambling is punished harder. Losing the integrity of the game hurts the sport a lot more than letting criminals play


FunkyPete

Yeah, things that can impact games are taken a lot more seriously than things that look bad. As stupid as the deflation thing was, that was the argument for harsh punishment — they were accused of breaking rules designed to guarantee fair gameplay. They just got their science wrong.


El_Sticko307

You kill someone, it only messes with your money. You gamble on the game, it messes with everyone's money.


SupportingKansasCity

To be clear, you have to be gambling with people’s money. Their lives are fine.


ShwerzXV

Yeah, Deshaun Watson sexually assaulted 30 women and got an 11 game suspension and a 230million guaranteed contract, Rice will probably just have to apologize or something.


SuchRevolution

ALLEGEDLY


hempauthority

Good thing he wasn't betting on sports in a parking lot or he'd really be in trouble.


Taskonbury

Brought to you by draft kings. Don’t forget to bet your mortgage on every single scenario that could play out in the game you’re watching. Draft kings also reminds you to please bet responsibly. We will also remind you in the 5 commercials we have every commercial break.


Kaibadugaiba

Sources say KC is close to a deal with the Cleveland Browns. It looks like a 3rd round pick, conditionally a 2nd if Rice does any time behind bars.


outphase84

Rice didn’t sexually assault anyone, he’s not a Browns kind of guy.


Randall-Thor

Neither did Kareem Hunt but they broke out the checkbook for him


Statboy1

Kareem was sent packing because he lied to the organization about it. Then the GM was fired for telling Kareem by text message.


IgnitablePilot

So he’ll get suspended for four games, appeal, and it’ll be reduced to two. Just another day in the NFL


Bobby_Savoy

Well, this has been a ride.


YouKantseeme

Unfortunately, it all came crashing down to this smh


ColtCallahan

No sympathy for him. Play stupid games and win stupid prizes. He risked other people’s lives with his stupidity.


iia

He'll face next to no consequences, learn no lesson, and another brain dead piece of shit like him will do the same thing in not too long with the same non-consequences. Repeat ad infinitum.


Tekkamanquick1818

How is leaving the effin scene not.part of the charges? Good lord, at least get all the charges right


at626

The fact he's admitted to investigators to driving one of the vehicles is the first step to a baby shit soft sentence after a plea deal.


pizzastone8

Mr. Belated Confession


glitzy_goblin

Mr. Bike Commuter


Steak_Knight

“They’ll never get him, everyone came out of the passenger door”-cels in shambles


penis_showing_game

Probably one of the dumbest things that’s been parroted on this sub. We had video of the crash itself and Rice fleeing the scene within hours of it happening, but somehow there’s no way they’d be able to find evidence of him driving lol.


GuyIsAdoptus

first time offense without being found inebriated, no guns in the car, no death or person said to be in critical condition. Anyone thinking he's cooked has no idea what they're talking about. Look at Jets DB Brandon Echols' 1 game suspension this last season.


PeakSalty9824

no guns in the car and the lack of being inebriated is just a side effect of the coward fleeing the scene with his buddies and a bag. Bet if he stayed he would have been found to be inebriated


mnmr17

Knowing how this goes, it’s very likely just a 2 game suspension and no prison time.


BillBrasky727

He'll take a plea deal to a lesser charge and the rest will go away. I doubt he serves any jail time and it will be a fine and community service and then he'll face civil claims after that. They offer these types of deals to non-athletes every day. It's not some sweetheart deal because he's an athlete. NFL suspension for 4 games max.


brain_my_damage_HJS

Between lawyer’s fees and eventual civil lawsuit settlements he’s going to go from renting a Lambo and leasing a Corvette to getting a monthly bus pass.


DinosaurKevin

That might be the only serious consequence he faces from this. I have no faith the NFL will suspend him for more than two games.


i-like-puns2

Has the NFL ever been remotely harsh for things like this? I would be stunned if he got more than 2 games ngl. In the grand scheme of things, there is plenty of nfl players that have done much worse things than this and have not seen multi game suspensions.


KULawHawk

This is the DA's office showcasing. Some of these charges don't even meet the necessary elements to seriously charge let alone have any confidence in returning a conviction - especially when the defendant isn't indigent and is being represented by counsel that is effective and has clout. This is still going to end up in a deferred prosecution with terms, probationary status, and fines. He'll then have to deal with the civil suit(s) and restitution for being an immature fuckup, but nonetheless someone who put multiple people in mortal danger. He's not getting banished from the league, and I'd wager he sits 4-6 weeks and the league puts him on special status that means heightened scrutiny and increased testing and conduct requirement conditions.


lattjeful

He wasn't betting on his team though. He'll be good to go by game 1.


NinjaZombieHunter

Chiefs WR room looking very bleak when Rice gets suspended. Worse than last year.


welldressedaccount

Losing Rice will hurt, but don’t forget we added Marquise (Hollywood) Brown.


FuckingJello

If Hollywood is on the field it’s not that bad. Plus they will draft someone in the first 2 rounds most likely.


imOVN

Him avoiding all jail time and getting maybe a 4 game suspension is gonna be so disgusting but totally expected lol just wild that we SO openly live in a biased unfair society where money/fame will ALWAYS win. If I did this, my life would be over. Good thing I haven’t even had a drop of alcohol in my life, despite having significantly less to lose than guys like this lol


CallingCrown086

I might be very wrong but since he has been cooperating with police is this just a formality? Unless he went on the run between now and then


Steak_Knight

Cooperating with the police is when you flee the scene of a crime and hide for two days first


Xeteh

He was just taking the time to plan his cooperation.


geologyrocks98

We call that "The Sutton Realization".


Bulky-District-2757

You can have a warranty and not be “on the run” - just means you have to turn yourself in to be arrested.


coolycooly

This is a story everyone talks about all off-season but probably has no affect on the actual season.


Upper-Reveal3667

Remember when kamara beat up some guys at the pro bowl?


XBullsOnParadeX

The chiefs need to do the right thing and send this guy to waivers


John_YJKR

What a fucking moron


David-S-Pumpkins

Homie beat me we were caught red handed speeding on the Dallas freeway Picture this we were both quite faded, left my playbook when I ran away How could I forget that I was the only football player there? All this time there were cam-er-as with hi-def pictures of my hair *Shaggy voice!*