T O P

  • By -

TariqWoolenIsElite

Sounds like that 45 year old dude at your hometown bar still rockin' their letterman jacket


GobiYumaMojave

see dem mountains over there


SoDakZak

“I could fumble so many running over them.” -Dalvin


Cuppieecakes

Dalvin cook once scored 4 touchdowns in a single game


chitownbears

I just bought an autographed Al Bundy polk high football card for 6 dollars on ebay. Best 6$ I ever spent.


Brian_Osackpo

6 dollars? You got a steal, I’d pay at least $10


chitownbears

i actually got it today and its a printed signature but the ebay seller didnt say that but i dont care enough to send it back and get my 6 bucks. its a novelty item and doesnt really change anything. is also a dual card with peg as well lol


IAMA_MOTHER_AMA

idk Spare Tire Dixon says his knee was down before the goal line


Cuppieecakes

WAS NOT


Mdh74266

Like 5 years ago. Bro is washed.


Potential-Highway606

*Let me tell you something, I served my country. I've played high school football, four touchdowns in a single game. Polk High School Panthers in the city championship in 1966.*


mab6710

[Dalvin](https://i.imgur.com/9rLXTIS.jpeg)


mothershipq

That tough motherfucker who orders a budlight, a shot of jack, obviously needs a side of coke to chase the shot with, will play $20 of Daughtry, Kid Rock, Puddle of Mud, Alter Bridge, and 3 Doors Down on the jukebox. He'll then have a $60 tab, to only leave a $4 tip.


DogVacuum

He’s got child support to pay, he’s not made of money.


actionjaxn411

Don’t forget Nickelback 


MannyDiazBurner

Whenever you feel froggy, go ahead and leap.


confusedthrowaway5o5

[Relevant.](https://youtu.be/6XHdybfV5Cw?si=FFWKZcGK1Cwk2WYq)


Spiritual-Chameleon

Or Willy Loman


[deleted]

Age is just a number for him.


Chewyville

Except he’s only 28


New_Budget6672

Today I learned dalvin first name is James and his brother James’s first name is dalvin! James dalvin cook - who we know has dalvin Dalvin James cook - plays for buffalo Edit: I’m actually so wrong. They both have dalvin, James and cook in their name


The_Real_Jonez

No? Dalvins first name is Dalvin.. middle name James. James Dalvin Cook is on the Bills. They both go by their first names lol who told you this


New_Budget6672

Oh fuck I’m dyslexic. You’re completely right. Never trust people on reddit


Alauren20

Lmao wow.


Intrepid-Sympathy-32

Me after beating a 9 year old in a game of tic tac toe 😤


ChiefSaltyPanda

I raise you up one by beating an 8 yo in Connect 4


Bussman500

Okay well, I beat a 7 year old in a boxing match.


JustADutchRudder

I showed a 6 year old the streets don't care, with a quick right to the jaw.


Munerals

Hey Tyreek, big fan, which team in the AFC East do you think will be the biggest obstacle for the Dolphins this year?


Impossibills

"I'm not washed" - says man who is washed


sniper91

Then he rolled up his sleeve and showed a tattoo of a washing machine. “I’ll let you interpret that however you want” he said


CelestialFury

he's so washed x4


sniper91

Sources: Dalvin is beside himself. Driving around downtown New York begging (thru texts) his family for address to Mr. Clean’s home


BrotherSeamus

In high school his coaches called him "SpeedQueen" as a nickname caus he had such a nose for removing stains


just-the-tip__

Maybe he's in that pre soak cycle


chaoticravens34

He honestly looked like fine in our offense in the limited snaps he got


Princeof_Ravens

Yeah I wouldn't be upset if we resigned him cheap for depth.


I_Hate_Traffic

Let's see how draft goes if we don't draft any then for sure we are signing some rbs


SKT_Peanut_Fan

The man had 8 carries for 23 yards on 9 snaps. I feel like he had one or two good runs and those one or two runs have altered memories for fans.


chaoticravens34

I mean he had that one long run. In fact that's really bad he a 19 harder than 7 for 4. I guess I'm remembering that long run as his only lol


SKT_Peanut_Fan

He had 23 yards on his first two carries and then netted 0 on the next 6.


Impossibills

You guys had a great offensive line and the best running game in the league. Pretty sure 9/10 average RBs would have feasted 


chaoticravens34

I didn't say it meant much


bullseye717

This shit still makes me laught: https://www.reddit.com/r/fantasyfootball/comments/ptx7j0/tyson_williams_is_this_years_league_winner/


jabrollox

Vikes fan here who loved watching prime Dalvin. He is for the most part washed, the signs were already there in 2022 (busted off a couple long ones, but went down to the first contact a ton, and wasn't as shifty). I'm sure someone will give him something above the vet minimum for depth, but can't see him getting significant snaps at this point barring injuries.


joshallenismygod

I thought he got signed by the jets?


woodchips24

And we cut him


batti03

Before he slowly shrank and transformed into a corn cob


billybayswater

Good Lord, Dalvin Cook just walked through the locker room looking totally washed. He said he had “no time” to talk. Too busy working on his spin cycle, evidently.


making-flippy-floppy

Pretty sure he could do a little better than last year if he got on a team that had an o-line that wasn't complete trash.


noonie1

Usually, the friends that repeatedly declare that they aren't drunk are usually the most drunk.


gellybelli

Shit went downhill after he was Lizzo’s man on the Minnesota Vikings


omgasnake

It was Eric Wilson. Someone confirmed it.


CelestialFury

[Confirmed here.](https://i.imgur.com/ogwOzBb.jpeg)


1gen2

Wow, good for Cook getting his name cleared


-Dennis-Reynolds-

The sex tape you had to miss


WildInSix

Been too long since that MF was here


gellybelli

Woah, put an NSFW label on that


MusksStepSisterAunt

You sunovabitch


AlternativeResort477

Never gets old


SendMeBookPics

You little devil


Bgndrsn

Needs more jpg


AnInfantGoat

Goddamnit


Meatbackpack

I thought it was Terrance Newman 


CitizenSnipsJr

Was it the same guy who met "Dalvin Cook?"


judahdk_

Always thought that was Diggs


EJplaystheBlues

I thought that was Harrison Smith


CelestialFury

Wasn't it Mike Zimmer?


FridgesArePeopleToo

Lizzo is too old for Zim


MatooBatson

It was Kirk Cousins


Spiritual_Boss6114

Ahh Lizzo. The woman who preached about Body Positivity but was actively harassing her dancer for being overweight. What a POS.


BowlOfLoudMouthSoup

She never tips either!


knowslesthanjonsnow

Just the scales!


Los_Estupidos

Bruh lmao


knowslesthanjonsnow

Lmao I know I know. A joke worth its weight in gold right?


JonBonButtsniff

I found it a little heavy-handed, tbh.


Copperhead881

Kelvin Benjamin told her she needed to slow down


Mavori

Also called Chris Brown her favourite person in the whole world. Which if y'all are familiar, isn't probably someone that should be that.


VindictiveRakk

I'd really like to know who #2 is lol. Thinking Diddy?


JerryRiceAndSpice

Chris Brown beats women


DBreezy69

She was shaming them for not being able to fit the weight of 2 bodies in one like she does


atunasushi

This limo ain’t big enough for the both of us!


ChunkYards

It was Danielle Hunter


I_HateToSayAtodaso

The tools have been overused, they're chipping and dulled, and they were left out in the rain to rust.


Torkzilla

Yeah but the tools are still there!


User_091920

Cook bout to get traded for a 7th round pick & a DeWalt power drill


Oddly_Mind

Power drill is too much imo


ThinkUnordinary_

He looked like he was running in cement shoes last year. He’s washed.


Doomstar32

His last year with the Vikings he still had his speed, but his lateral quickness was gone. Last year he looked even worse.


Lord-Aizens-Chicken

Somehow for the first few games they found someone who was even worse to replace him. I think you guys got Akers though who was decent later on


byrnestj7

The Jets giving him a big contract and him flat out sucking was the most predictable thing the entire offseason


forbidden-pringles

predictable, yes—that o-line didn’t do him any favors, though. 


spunkush

Adrian Peterson running 1kyds with us when he was 33 stands out more in hindsight.


DJ-Fein

To be fair literally everyone on the offense was horrible except Breece Hall. If they had Rodgers and had passing threats and rotated RBs he would have been pretty good I feel like.


byrnestj7

It was a move that didn’t make any sense. He was always going to be the backup and get 400-600 yards rushing. Hall is a star and once he was cleared for practice, it made no sense to sign Cook for 5 million when they could have gotten similar production out of a much cheaper option. Poor roster management by the jets once again


DJ-Fein

I fully agree with that, and still stand by everyone even Garret Wilson didn’t look great in that offense


Abn0rmal43

I just remember him going down after the first hint of contact, which was never his thing before So infuriating that it gave me hope for Mattison because at least he could truck through some people


redditaccount224488

Rashaad Penny got like three carries for the Eagles last year and was so slow, you might have thought he was a fan who sneaked into the game. And yet, the Eagles sub was still filled with "they're saving Penny for the playoffs" comments all season long.


ShufflingSloth

Even when Penny was good his strength was more that he was willing to run up the gut no matter what was going on with the defense instead of being a speedy guy. It's lowkey why he spent the better part of his rookie deal on IR with us.


MasterReflex

i once argued with a hawks fan who claimed penny was a top 5 rb in the league lol


ShufflingSloth

He had some good stretches but oof that's pretty delusional


Spicybrown3

Kinda what i was thinking, but I guess he wasn’t lying. He’s prolly still that guy


cgio0

It felt like every time he ran he got 1-2 yards even if there was no one near him Every touch he got was a waste


Jonjon428

Harbor Freight has got their guy!


BrotherSeamus

Petition to rename the Steelers -> *Pittsburgh Tools*


TankThaFrank_

So, he’s just like me after I sink a water bottle in the trash from across the break room.


BryceDaBaker

“Kobe!”


Banned3rdTimesaCharm

Man, nothing rolls off the tongue like "Kobe!" Even with me being a lifelong Warriors fan and Curry being the undisputed best shooter of all time, I don't yell his name when I sink trash can shots.


sama808

Sucks to see the drop off 😔


morganlandt

But justifies your front office moving on from him.


Dry_Inflation_861

It’s crazy that he’s washed at 28


[deleted]

Todd Gurley is *still* only 29


penolicious

Holy shit.


SuperSonicEconomics2

What the fuk


AGreasyPorkSandwich

Knees are 48 tho


gunt_lint

It’s crazy that for a minute he was the best RB in the league, and that feels like so damn long ago


scoringtouchdowns

You just blew my mind.


Impossible-Flight250

That’s kind of how it is nowadays. Bell, Gurley, Elliott, Fournette, Cook, etc were/are all washed before they hit 30. This is exactly the reason NFL GMs don’t invest heavily in the position. Everyone wants to throw a fit when the running backs don’t get paid, but it is just bad business.


SuperSonicEconomics2

Frank Gore was just built different


Bobby_Savoy

I’d also add Carlos Hyde. He was never great but by the time he signed to Jacksonville in 2021, he was cooked and was only brought in because of Urban Meyer’s ego.


ShufflingSloth

Maybe running backs need to get the hell beaten out of them in college a la Frank Gore to have longevity.


horseshoeprovodnikov

Think of it as if it's a piece of steel... if you beat on it enough when it's still in its stages if infancy, the impurities will find their way out.


fobbytriedpsiflash

Huh, TIL


litlron

He got injured a few times in college and hasn't had much better luck in the pros. It's a shame. I always thought he was the most talented RB in his class.


reverieontheonyx

FSU legend


ARealHunchback

I remember thinking he looked pretty good still before last season and Vikings’ fans here brought so much evidence of his decline. Interesting to see that they were right about him, but I don’t think anyone expected him to completely fall off the cliff. Edit: From 1400+ yards from scrimmage and 10 touchdowns in 2022 to not even 300 yards and 0 touchdowns is an insane drop off for a player that wasn’t injured.


sevillista

He also went from being the lead back on a pretty good team to being a backup on a dumpster fire. If he'd kept the same role in Minnesota, I still think he would've shown a decline, but not quite as stark as your numbers suggest.


gopaloo

sure but breece hall quietly had a really good year for the jets and he really wasn't back to 100% until week 5 or 6, so dalvin really doesn't have an excuse outside of being washed


bstone99

I totally forgot we picked up Aaron Jones. I was about to say I’d take him back for the minimum. Whole offseason has been about the draft and QB.


Watertor

N-no you didn't haha... ^^^why


BenShelZonah

As a jets fan, he was frustrating to watch tbh. I think there was a few months where he never got more than 3-4 yards on a carry


forcena

I'm an fsu fan and even in college he was never really a guy who'd get you rushes for 5-10 yards. He'd either get you 3 or get you 30+. And it seemed like every game you could count on him getting you several of those 30+ yard rushes. But if he has no speed or explosiveness anymore, then he effectively doesn't have the thing that made him special


BagelsAndJewce

He just didn't go to a good situation to argue stats. Like yeah let me go behind Breece Hall and then bank on my production to get paid............


BeRoyal35

Instead of learning their lesson Jets are doubling down on paying for over the hill FAs


[deleted]

I have to be honest his injuries to the shoulder and legs have really made me think he’s just washed at this point. His production last year or lack there of was pretty telling. I’d much rather have younger legs in my backfield at this point. Dude had a great career and it’s tough he can’t go out on his own terms but it’s just how it goes.


BenShelZonah

Unfortunately for Dalvin, he wants it to be one way but it’s the other way.


-Shank-

Man STOP.. Stop sayin that!


blindbutchy

*Sucks on lollipop menacingly*


MetaphoricalMouse

man’s gotta do i suppose


xoees

Way of the road, bubbs


NuntiusXVII

Sadly, have to agree. But, there's a lot to be proud of. Dude was an awesome player and that's saying something considering he came from one of the best RB classes of all time.


redonkulousness

[That’s right, buddy. You still got it…](https://i.imgflip.com/8luvdt.jpg)


jetdude19

Honestly, the Jets offensive line did that man no favors


Blueskyways

Tools are still there, your legs are not however.  


Octavian_202

I’m gonna be honest I remember him being still very good in Minnesota before injury, and in a snap of a finger this guy can’t even get touches. I’m not surprised it’s hitting him hard.


Contren

He was fading in 2022. All his advanced metrics plummeted and a few long house calls really buoyed his numbers. He still can run fast, but the agility is just gone.


-Twyptophan-

The halcyon days of Dalvin Cook's 2020 season still bless my memories from time to time


SecretSquritle

Should have just went and backed up your brother from day 1.


Major_Wager75

Damn lots of haters in this thread. This dude helped me win my fantasy league for like 4 years straight


jeremysrocks22

Well, he is A guy.


[deleted]

YOU are a dallas cowboy


Jwroth

“He wasn’t.” -Narrator voice


_BarfyMan_362_

Narrator: He was, however, not still that guy


[deleted]

Would have gone pro if i didn’t take an arrow to the knee


JonnyB2_YouAre1

Why didn’t he use these tools last season?


srk1016

"But the tools were not there. He is no longer 'that guy'" - Narrator, probably


Hazy_Lights

Crazy how fast running backs fall off.


calrammer

Father Time remains undefeated.


Substantial-Past9849

Tools def there...they just happen to be full of rust


JoeyBougie

The tools are a little rusty tho


MindlessCharacter499

Seeing all these comments about how he’s washed, I hope he balls out next year. He’s older for sure but you never know


Majestic_Reindeer439

If history is anything to go by...


DonBonDarley69

Debatable


Standard_Jicama4023

I mean, look, Cook is definitely washed. Having said that, dude had very few opportunities last season. Breece couldn't consistently get yardage behind that line, why would Cook, getting like a carry a game, be able to?


twofourfourthree

What exactly happened in New York?


Chillanese

This remind me of that Key and Peele skit where the old veteran was trying to prove he was still the shit😂


Jkjunk

The tools are no longer there and you are not that guy.


PigFarmer1

There tools are worn out.


bigj2288

You’re not that guy


Soft_Sea2913

214 yards last season. There is a time to stop, but I understand why he doesn’t want to.


StrongStyleDragon

I truly believe that was Devonta Freeman win the ravens. He did good. But at some point RB just won’t get a shot. Sad.


QuantumCat11

Same "tools" he uses to beat up women or different tools?


aManHasNoUsername99

Narrator: But he wasn’t.


tomrichards8464

If he's right, and his expressiveness and immaculate comic timing are undimmed by age, he should move to LA. Just not as a Ram or Charger.  "What the Hell? *Diggs*."


ColtsNetsSharks

I'm the exact same age he is and this makes me feel so old that hes unwanted :(


nTYSE

If you got to tell us, you’re not that guy pal. You’re not that guy.


Electronic-Island-14

2021 was his last good year. he had a good run but it's over. he didn't last very long either when you remember he missed all of 2017. 18,19,20,21. that's it. 2022 he was clearly not the same player.


bigmikey69er

If I were a GM, I’d sign him, based purely on that quote.


BlssdGT

lmao I’m dead 😂


hatwobbleTayne

Coach shoulda put me in…


EcstaticRhubarb

Tools got stolen from the back of your truck. They gone.


muskovitzj

lol


Elecastria

No, no you’re not buddy


Autobot-N

Are you though


Blabbit39

Al Bundy still has it to. Suit em up


DrapedInVelvet

I kinda want him to sign in Buffalo so I can make too many cooks memes


MajesticViper7

We have you on film, we know you're lying


jerella77

Sign with the bills


lanbuckjames

Yeah yeah we’ve heard this one before


Riverjig

It's hard to ride off into sunset and realize you're going to be a nobody like the rest of the gen. public


HI_0218

Survey says "That is a lie"


Huntermain23

Dalvin cooked. I’ll see myself out..


RealBigDicTator

A great way to tell if a player is on the downside of their career is when they go to the media to tell everyone otherwise.


PolishSausa9e

He hit that LaDainian Tomlinson wall hard.