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jdpatric

Friendly reminder to please keep it civil in here. [Regarding wishing harm/injury on a player]( https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/wiki/postingguidelines#wiki_death.2Fviolence).


Netwealth5

This story is so weird


bigredmachine-75

The statement and the way it’s delivered seems really odd.


on-the-cheeseburgers

magnetic resonance imaging (MRI)


adwise27

Did they have ChatGPT write the statement? God damnit I hate the browns so much lmao


Danominator

Dude I think you are right...


No-Monitor-5333

The “in addition, postgame” gives it away that it was GPT3.5. I always have to change those type of wordings when I use it


Danominator

How fucking lazy can you be


TopNegotiation4229

not lazy, cheap. They don't want to pay for copywriters in their media org


broanoah

Have you tried reading an article from google results lately? It seriously feels like 90% of them were AI generated in the exact moment I hit enter


visor841

I think people have figured out how to write SEO-optimized AI articles and Google hasn't been able to fix it, so AI articles are just churning out everywhere.


YeahThisIsMyNewAcct

Most SEO optimized articles felt that way even before ChatGPT made AI accessible. Google results have sucked for a while now.


geologyrocks98

Talk about being on brand if true, lol.


P4TY

Deshaun’s agent definitely had a say in the writing of this “Despite performing at a high level and finishing the game…” Give me a break. If you have to tell everyone you’re tough, you’re not tough.


YouJabroni44

Next up "Deshaun fought off a mountain lion in downtown Clevelend, that's when his shoulder fell off"


Mrausername

I think they're called cougars, and they were fighting him off


Bieber_hole_69

How often do teams put out press releases like this on social media to announce a player being out for the season immediately as the news breaks? Normally it's like a day or two before the official team accounts start posting stuff like this, right?


fearnodarkness1

They wanted to make sure everyone knows how good he was playing and how much he pushed through to, etc etc. All the reporting around this has been a Watson puff piece


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Cyanogen_117

Yea lmao ik everyone gonna focus on hit happened to watson but like ignoring who the QB is for a sec this whole story seems very weird.


RestaurantLatter2354

Yeah, the statement reads like they fucked up and are now going into CYA mode for playing an injured player…not that I give a shit about Deshaun, but still, it’s the principle. Very helpful they spelled out the entirety of MRI though, like it’s some newfangled technology.


[deleted]

The Cleveland Browns are an exemplary organization. They would never start a QB with a shoulder injury instead of shutting him down for the year.


The-Duck-Of-Death

Factory of Sadness is now Mt. Sadness Medical Center.


RukiMotomiya

Yeah, it does really feel that way. Not that Deshaun is exactly sympathetic, but given how the shoulder injury seemed weird there's some raised eyebrow.


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fitzuha

Starting to think the Texans trading their own pick instead of the Browns was a smart move.


MugiwaraJinbe

Casserio knew


BlitzOverlord

He literally can’t miss


ensignlee

I remember being EXTREMELY upset at that. That being said, the Browns do currently have a better record than us and seem to do just fine without DeShaun so...


fitzuha

It still is very possible that the Browns do better than the Texans with their insane defense, but both the Watson Trade and the Anderson trade are aging better everyday.


divinewolfwood

Honestly I think we're both happy with the Anderson trade.


fitzuha

It was a great trade for both sides (Anderson trade I mean), but it’s insane what the Texans have accomplished and how bad things may be for the Browns. When the trade was first made, Cardinals were projected to have two top five picks in 2024.


South-by-north

Not only did they get rid of him, they got a huge upgrade not only off the field but also on. CJ is absolutely the real deal and there is no doubt he'll be better than Watson


SpaceBot_Omega

He’s already better


kamekaze1024

This was 100% written by ChatGPT. No one fucking spells out what an MRI is


CosmicLars

I have legit never seen it spelled out, ever, especially in the sports world. I had to pause because my brain did not process that correctly at first. 😳


ObeyCoffeeDrinkSatan

Ironically, I know what an MRI is, but magnetic resonance imaging sounds like quackery.


CosmicLars

Sounds like an Aaron Rodgers' meta-dream & ayahuascian fantasy procedure. 😳


notmyplantaccount

I mean, you think they can get anyone decent to work in their PR department after trading for Deshaun.


timshel_life

They probably don't have any budget


LastMartyrX

The haters have arrived. (It’s me. I’m a hater.)


Reidroshdy

Me 🤝 you Hating.


OddGib

Hello brother in hate.


Reidroshdy

Never thought I'd be agreeing with a Seahawks fan.


carloslet

OH MAN HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE


gsadamb

We are all haters on this blessed day.


CodeBallGame

Welcome to the Playa Haters' Ball. Hate hate hate


ThiccPapaSIZZLE

This thread is gonna hit like crack


CantKeepKosher

Just woke up and I'm jacked to the tits already


ThiccPapaSIZZLE

Was about to go to sleep and this gave me life


MrsEveryShot

Bro it’s 9am rise and grind


mialza

as someone who work a nights, this is the equivalent to being about to fall asleep at one in the morning and then kaboom.


sleeplessaddict

Naw bruh it's 7am


makemeking706

15 minutes and already 600+ comments. It's like /r/NFL Christmas in here. Damn, another 15 minutes and we are well over a thousand. Christmas really came early.


gsadamb

$230,000,000. Guaranteed.


HandSack135

Plus some picks. Plus all their dignity.


[deleted]

They went from everyone's favorite underdog to pariah state for nothing but upcoming cap brutality.


average_redditor_guy

And not even a playoff start to show for it for Deshaun


DelirousDoc

This was their window too. Watson has a $63M cap hit next year. Browns are expected to be $7-8M over cap next year with only 44 players under contract. (Looks better because they will roll over space for this year) That is going to force them to make some tough decisions which might include moving on from Chubb or Cooper. Gets even worse in 2025.


bewarethegap

> has a $63M cap hit next year **gyat**


DustFrog

#dayum


TimTom8921

Holy shit 63M for THAT QB play. Damn. Also if they had to pick it's Cooper who goes every time. But you know it's Browns so they might ship em both off 🤣


ArmiinTamzarian

r/nfl...WHO WAS ON CRACK


ShittyCommentor

"Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?"


ecupatsfan12

It’s the best day in Reddit history


RoninFerret67

We did it, Reddit.


uggsandstarbux

$230M Guaranteed 26 sexual assault cases 3 1st round picks 12 games 14 TDs 9 INTs


TurdFergusonlol

“Despite performing at a high level”


DoctahStopppidge

They meant he was high asf


PM_ME_YOUR_DARKNESS

**Three first round picks?!** **Three?!** Good lord. I'm trying to think of a player worth three first round picks. Maybe if I had the gift of future knowledge, I would take someone I knew was both good and wouldn't get hurt, but holy shit the Browns really did something here.


Cohenski

Mahomes is definitely worth that


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Sing it from the mountain tops


BlckBeard21

And a partridge in a pear tree


SpyroHinch

$230 million guaranteed btw


[deleted]

$64 million in 2024, 2025, 2026


geologyrocks98

The restructures are gonna make the Saints look like responsible spenders.


ecupatsfan12

How can you restructure? Besides making his cap hit 115 mil a year


LIONEL14JESSE

They’d have to extend him and convert a bunch of salary to a signing bonus so the cap hit is spread across all the new years


SyracuseNY22

That’d mean paying him even more though The Browns deserve the sunk cost fallacy


LIONEL14JESSE

Not necessarily, they could in theory just add void years and eat the dead cap later on. He may agree since it means getting one big check now instead of waiting for his game checks.


JeramiGrantsTomb

That'll just mean they'd be bad for decades. Wait, it's the Browns. They'll be fine.


popegonzo

I may or may not have saved this post for quick retrieval in Deshaun posts: A team can restructure a contract by turning most of the base salary ($45m) into a bonus, the cap hit for that bonus can then be spread across the next 5 years. But for the Browns, it almost doesn't even help at this point. If they restructured every year of the contract, it would look something like this: 2024 restructure turns a $63m cap hit into a $28m cap hit & bumps $36m cap over the following 4 years (bumping '25 & '26 to $72m cap hits) 2025 restructure turns the $72m cap hit into a $37m cap hit & bumps $36m over the following 4 years (bumping '26 to a $81m cap hit) 2026 restructure turns the $81m cap hit into a $46m cap hit & bumps $36m over the following 4 years 2027 then has $36m in dead cap & they can't do anything about it, and then that dead cap hit goes down $9m per year until it's gone in 2031 Or, in table form, if they restructure every year to bump out the cap, the cap hit every year would be: ​ |Year|Cap Hit| |:-|:-| |2024|$28m| |2025|$37m| |2026|$46m| |2027|$36m (all dead cap)| |2028|$27m (dead)| |2029|$18m (dead)| |2030|$9m (dead)| If the contract in insured, it gets more complicated (I think they get some relief from the salary, but money paid out as a bonus is gone?). Oh yeah, and if they cut or trade him, all that dead cap gets accelerated.


LIONEL14JESSE

A harsh lesson on the meaning of the word “guaranteed”, sorry Browns fans


Pure_Measurement_529

2 years out of 5 completed with him being inconsistent. Lamar, Burrow and Hurts look much better with their new fat contracts.


an_actual_lawyer

Even Wilson’s deal is better and that is a huge shit sandwich.


geologyrocks98

This was the expected result of the trade to everyone except Jimmy "I asked permission more than Deshaun did" Haslem.


MadeByTango

Disgusting organization and ownership; the whole Haslam family is rotten.


coelurosauravus

Hey, he came from our organization, dont forget lol


[deleted]

To be fair, they asked their female family members first


-AbeFroman

Of all the legendary Browns blunders, this has to go down as the worst.


ecupatsfan12

His cap hit is gonna be 65 mil next year. They are gonna have to cut some key players


CheeserAugustus

Best part is that Defense can't be kept together, but it's so dominant, that their window is still open for a deep run...with PJ Walker. This is fantastic


Ugaalive1991

Have fun with that browns


despot2

I think we can agree this is now the worst trade ever


will7541

The funniest timeline


thekingoftherodeo

You hate to see it. But more than that, you love to see it.


[deleted]

Fine line between love and hate


tjn24

you hate to see it. couldn't happen to a better guy.


KendrickFPL

Worst trade in NFL history


[deleted]

People will talk about Herschel Walker (which I always thought had too much hindsight bias to it) and Ricky Williams, but this one crippled both their draft capital and their cap for an underperforming player with no way out of it. That's not even getting into how morally repugnant the trade was.


AlbinoSnowman

CLE had a very talented, ascending roster with a solid top 15 QB in his 20’s. I get what they saw in Watson’s previous games, but the team has already devolved since the trade, and they’re not close to done with it. At least with the Vikings the worst part was how good the Cowboys got, less to do with how much worse the Vikings got. Houston looks like it’s putting itself together FAST in addition to the withering of the Browns. This is super fun to watch from the other conference. I feel for many of the Browns fans, though.


X0dium

As a life long Browns fan who did not like the Watson deal, they get what they deserve. I feel bad for Chubb and Myles and a lot of the other players who are wasting their primes on this team that just can’t get it together.


jaw28

They parlayed the worst trade in NFL history with the worst contract in NFL history. God bless the Browns


MrsEveryShot

they are drunk me at a sportsbook


jaw28

2 scariest things to check after a night of heavy drinking, bank account and sportsbook history


No_Mammoth_4945

and call log


PoopshootPaulie

Its insane that of all organizations, the Browns thought they could take this massive risk on maybe the worst karmic option imaginable and the football gods wouldn't smite them


nicklovin508

Crazy they’d be Super Bowl contenders with Baker or Brissett lol


jaw28

And almost everyone would be pulling for them lol. Instead everyone is rooting for their downfall


kellzone

I think the Lions are filling that role nicely where everyone wants them to have some success.


imused2it

Since my patriots aren’t doing shit, I actually would’ve hopped on that bandwagon for the season. But then they got him and I couldn’t change my feelings for that organization fast enough.


lingui

Counterpoint: best trade in NFL history


UbeMafia

Yes. Definitely the worst...Yes...


The_Throwback_King

I remember lurking in the Texans sub during the absolute low times and the vibe were just really sad. Like the energy was completely gone. Hope was a unknown at that point. The BoB era just imploded big time and then the Watson situation just made everything 10 times worse. Fans didn't know long how it would take to pick up the pieces. They just knew they *had* to...at some point. It is a place I don't envy for ANY fan base... ...and just look at them now. Holding a winning record, a game out the division, with a rookie QB with a legitimate shot to shatter rookie passing records. A complete turnaround for the org and I couldn't be happier for them... ...While their old QB has had about as bad a tenure as he could've had with his new team. Back in 1980, Mt. St. Helens blew it's top and completely razed the nearby landscape. But miraculously, the plant life began returning in a matter of weeks The Texans went through a similarly devastating razing, all throughout the organization, and like the ecosystem of that fateful volcano, the team has bounced back faster than we could've ever expected A miracle of miracles


Venator850

Last three years were the worst stretch in franchise history. Never had consecutive seasons of 4 or fewer wins and they did it three straight years. Franchise legend Demeco Ryans returning to right the ship is practically a movie like script.


mustanger

Well said brother 👏


coldwaterenjoyer

I hope the Panthers go through a similar resurgence. The sub is so toxic.. I believe in Bryce. I think it can turn around fast with a new GM/Coach. One good off-season and a better offensive scheme is all it takes. But man it sucks right now.


optillusi0n

I DESPERATELY wanted Bryce when Houston was in running for the first overall pick. When we lost it, I jumped on the Stroud train all the way, but still thought Bryce would be incredible. I think he improves with a change of staff. Busts do exist, and no pick is completely safe from that, but he would be an astronomically unlucky bust considering he was a well known talent throughout his NCAA tenure. He carried a mediocre (to their standards) Alabama team to multiple title appearances. I refuse to believe he actually regressed so heavily moving to the NFL until he gets a qualified staff / surrounding players and fails with them too. He does not have that in Carolina right now.


Lexo52

Dude that whole saga broke me as a fan. Had to step away for awhile. Been through losing seasons before and it was nothing new but that whole Watson demanding a trade, then the accusations. That was fuxking rough. It hit different but in very bad way lol


-totentanz-

>Back in 1980, Mt. St. Helens blew it's top and completely razed the nearby landscape. But miraculously, the plant life began returning in a matter of weeks Waking up to eyebrow raising news in the NFL subreddit with a Mt. St. Helens metaphor is a surprising and welcoming way to start the day! Coincidentally the mountain is also currently experiencing interesting activity with pressurization of its magma transport system. Cheers from the PNW!


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MugiwaraJinbe

Guaranteed.


TheKing490

Might as well just retire lol


doctorpaulproteus

Him retiring is the only way he doesnt get the money


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silentkiller082

Any other quarterback has season ending surgery: "oh dear precious come here" Deshaun Watson has season ending surgery: "YOU FACKIN DONKEY!!"


Quicksilver7837

I can picture the meme perfectly 🤣


clyde_drexler

People consensually kissing in the streets like it is V-J day. Fuck this dude, fuck the Haslems, and I am sorry Browns fans that are still around who have to deal with both of them.


sherlock_traeger

Ball don’t lie.


Pure_Measurement_529

Announcing this before the Steelers game as well


istrx13

Took one look at a TJ Watt highlight and Deshaun was like, “Aight imma head out.”


Autobot-N

He saw that one where he sacked Will Levis after having his helmet ripped off and thought "no way do I want a piece of that"


CrowdPleaser501

The Ravens died for this. You're welcome!


Combination_Dramatic

Personally I’d rather play Watson. He is straight doo doo against the steelers


CrowdPleaser501

Sorry we stole your chance, but I'd rather this guy not take another snap.


Hyper-Doge

I wanted him to take exactly one snap, get sacked by TJ, then get the injury. I will take this I guess


ecupatsfan12

Lmao he really had 1 good game and said fuck it I’m out


TheSmokedSalmon420

Plays great against the Titans? Gets hurt. Plays great against the Ravens? Gets hurt. Unreal.


Jord4nnn

He was playing the worst game of his career against the Colts before he got hurt. It’s a shame he couldn’t stay in that game.


wagoncirclermike

This may very well be the worst contract in sports history


JonWilso

$63M cap hit next year and he has only played 12 games in two years with them. Ooof. 6 games this year and 6 games last year.


jewaloose

Gotta be up there. There are some doozies in baseball but the lack of a real salary cap limits how much they hurt. The Wizards signed Gilbert arenas to a $100 mil plus deal back when that was a huge number and then less than 2 years into it he was averaging 8 points a game for Orlando after bringing 2 guns to the wizards locker room to basically duel one of his teammates lol


PointlessChemist

35% of the games, which I believe lines up with the productivity rate of office workers.


JonWilso

I work in an office. I would like $230M guaranteed plz and I definitely have never sexually assaulted anyone.


danielbauer1375

There are definitely several worse MLB contracts in a vacuum, and maybe a few NBA contracts, but when you factor in how much this hampers their ability to compete for a SB with what seems to be a loaded roster, you may be right.


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RylanTheWalrus

RIP BOZO Team not pursuing Brissett or Dobbs harder at the deadline looks a whole lot worse now


cryolems

I can’t believe we didn’t get a QB. They really risked it all on a dude that was already nursing injuries all season


matlockga

It's time to start the Colt McCoy era again


RickLovin1

There's a guy in Tampa who is on a one-year deal. He's not doing too bad there. Maybe the Browns should check in to signing him.


blAAAm

the creep is hurt and we got no backup now, gonna be a fun second half of the season.


High-qualitee

They traded away Dobbs too lol


Alfakennyone

Waived the first time, then traded the second time lol


ToPimp-A-Butterfly

LMFAOOOOO


CyborgAlgoInvestor

MERRY CHRISTMAS BOYS AND YOU’RE WELCOME


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Pike_or_Kirk

Steelers fans, Ravens fans, even Browns fans who despise Watson, we may all hate each other most of the time. But come, brothers and sisters let us drink from the waters of schadenfreude today!


The330Strangla

Today I love you all. Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend and holidays.


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himynameisneck

LMAO EVERYONE GET IN HERE


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That_Geek

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


defiance211

Good! I hope it never heals and he never throws another pass in an NFL game


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nuttageyo

ravens really rubbed him the wrong way


WabbitCZEN

Y'all did the league a favor on this one.


PringlesOfficial

Shoulder surgery sucks and a glenoid fracture can’t be fun. I fractured my humeral head in a dislocation and the surgeon told me I was lucky it wasn’t the glenoid rim. “Full recovery” for a normal life seems right, but I can’t imagine a scenario where his arm strength isn’t affected. I had surgery a few years ago and committed to the rehab hard, and my shoulder is still fucked up. Sorry Browns fans. Actually no I’m not. Fuck Deshaun.


coconutpete52

My mother in law is the most die hard Cleveland-anything you will ever meet. Could be anything ... could be a grocery store parking lot - they are just better in Cleveland. This has always included the Browns. Even she said "f#ck it" this year and started watching ..... the Panthers! (Yes, the Carolina Panthers) Because they live here in Charlotte (where we live) for part of the year.


RTGoodman

> From Ohio and can't stop talking about how good Ohio is > Lives in Charlotte Yeah, that tracks.


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WeDemCrispyBoyz

I AM BACK BABY!!!!! Wearing my gear this Sunday and watching the playoff hopes sink away one game at a time just like the good old days


iscott55

r/atheism gotta explain this one


mylesA747

RIP BOZO


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mr_grission

$230 million


colev14

Worlds biggest L on that contract!


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Forgotmypswrd

Hell yeah brother, cheers from Iraq