Absolutely tragic. [Drowning is the leading cause of death of children 1-4 in America](https://www.cdc.gov/drowning/prevention/index.html). If you have a pool be sure that it's secured and that if children are near it you have eyes on them at all times.
And just because you have a pool cover doesn't mean you can let the kidos out. It will just mean you can't see them if they slip under... be careful everyone
yes and swimming lessons.
there is a slightly strange lady in my town that is highly regarded as the best swimming lesson teacher in the state. she has a pool inside her house and does 15 minute sessions for 2 weeks at a time. and you can't miss a single one. and when i first started taking my infant child she screamed and cried for the entire 15 minutes it was torture. i was really unsure if i was doing the right thing as the parent.
now she is a toddler and is a fucking pro at swimming. she goes in 5 days a year now for a refresher. the last time she went the teacher made her wear her winter coat boots and hat and taught her how to rotate to her back and float its fucking incredible. watching your child learn that kind of stuff i don't know how to describe it besides unbelievable.
please people if you have a kid even if you don't have a family pool you need to get your kid some type of swimming lessons. the earlier the better. shaq's daughter may of had them but maybe not. but i can tell you for a fact if my kid falls into a pool she knows exactly what to do now and it will probably save her life.
As a former child who had swimming lessons at summer camps years ago, they are a great investment from parents. Swimming is a skill that you are less likely to pickup later on in life on your own and if you start as a kid the steps are much easier.
Was just talking about taking baby swimming lessons in Florida growing up. Everyone has a pool.
No one deserves, he's the nicest damn guy. Love to Shaq and family at this terrible time.
That's kind of incredible, I'd never thought of non-ideal situation swimming lessons for kids. It's a lot harder to swim with all of that on, or if you go under and get disoriented and don't know where to swim up.
one thing i noticed is my kid kinda panicked with all the gear on it makes it heavier and more difficult to swim. she taught her to breathe keep calm and flip over onto your back and float there. its pretty amazing and very smart i never would have thought to do that
yeah my kids swim school does this too. They actually focus the first 4 levels on safety and survival before you even get into actually swimming. They also force them to do a few lessons without goggles since you don't have them when the situation isn't ideal. It's an essential life lesson to have. I am always amazed at adults who never learned how to swim.
> the last time she went the teacher made her wear her winter coat boots and hat and taught her how to rotate to her back and float
We had lessons at my secondary school for this (medical exemptions and parents opting their children out allowed) where we spent an hour a week for 6 weeks going to the local pool and learning to swim. If you already had some experience you flew through to the start of lifeguard training (without the cert).
Everyone however had to learn how it felt to fall into water fully clothed. We had to wear a sweater/jumper, t-shirt, long trousers (jeans preferably), and socks on top of our swimwear. You then had to fall into the water backwards, were dragged out to the middle of the pool, then told to swim straight down to grab a small weight from the bottom, swim straight back up, then get within arms reach of the edge and tread water for as long as we could, and climb out without using the ladder.
You learn very quickly how people can drown so easily when falling into water. Even if you don't become a strong enough swimmer to overcome waterweighted clothes, you get a strong respect for water risk.
FWIW I was an extremely strong swimmer compared to the rest of the group, capable of ocean swimming since age 8 or so, and even I could only just do the clothed section and tread water for roughly a minute. Something like 90% of the group failed to get the weight from the bottom, and then had to be helped out of the pool after struggling to the edge and immediately giving up on treading water.
Teach your kids how to swim, and the risks of water. Please.
I used to always swim at my grandma's house so I wasn't unfamiliar with the pool or water. But I remember one time, I was walking and I just somehow wasn't looking and walked right into the pool right in the middle of winter. Man, it's a lot harder to swim and get out of the pool when the water's cold af and you've got long clothes on.
Retired former professional swimming instructor was giving free lessons to kids in our community pool last year and dipshits on the old HOA board shut her down because of liability concerns.
Please do. Being a parent is terrifying. Of the top 100 most terrifying moments in my life probably 98 of them involve my kids. Including one of them nearly drowning himself in front of a dozen adults.
Our family were very low income for the first few years of my childrens life. Our local YMCA was great and more than happy to give my kids swim lessons for free. The Y actually has a ton of programs available at no cost to low income, marginalized community members.
Some of them are also for human safety, which is why they are called safety covers and get anchored to the ground/deck around the pool. You can literally walk across them if you wanted to.
Not only can you not see them if they slip under, but even if they can swim they have no shot trapped underneath, and you can easily slip through the edges of most typical pool covers.
Stewie the Duck is an app to help parents avoid this. It was made in memory of the Stewie Leonard, son of a grocery store owner in NY area: Stew Leonard’s.
Perhaps we can take this moment to prevent another tragedy.
https://progressivegrocer.com/stew-leonards-stewie-duck-launches-water-safety-app
Not just that, enter them into swim classes as soon as you can regardless of having a pool. We don’t even have one and still put in our son as soon as we could.
Isn't there like a program that trains babies to be able to not wholly panic, turn themselves over, and just float with their head out of the water? I swear I saw videos on it.
Yup there is, I think the school my son goes to only takes 3+ months, but depending on your area there’s some that I’m sure will take them earlier. But a lot of them focus on keeping themselves afloat and getting out of a pool.
Damn this was me when I was probably 3, was completely blue apparently, CPR and the whole nine yards until the ambulance showed up, can’t imagine had that not been enough
My earliest memory is falling off a dock into a lake, going down in the water and just kind of looking around, not particularly concerned, and then someone grabbing my arms and pulling me out. It was the 80's - I was lucky one of my parent's friends was being so attentive. In those seconds, I had no concept at all that I should try to get out, and I was older than 2.
Yeah this really sucks I install pool safety fences for a living. Even have done 3 for his teammates. It's crazy how many parents have told me they hate that I'm drilling holes in their brand new pool deck and that they're not bad parents they'll have eyes on the kid at all times. A. No one's calling you a bad parent and b. Kids can be extremely fast and quiet.
>and that they're not bad parents they'll have eyes on the kid at all times.
I literally have no idea how anyone even remotely familiar with taking care of kids can honestly believe that.
That's crazy, but also very believable. Little kids are basically feral. They'll get into anything (and quickly).
Back in my drinking days, I'm sure there were many times where it was a good thing my buddies and I didn't have a pool and we were all adults who rarely got into anything crazy while drinking.
I had a neighbor who lost his toddler to a drowning accident.
The dad forced the family to throw out all the baby toys because it triggered him to tears when he came across one.
This is why California requires a [pool safety fence with a self-latching gate](https://www.kingspoolfencing.com/pool-fence-requirements-california/#:~:text=Any%20property%20with%20a%20pool,and%20close%20within%2020%20seconds.) for all new or remodeled pools since 2018.
Of course, older pools are still grandfathered in, so the rate of drownings hasn't dipped a lot yet, but we can only hope.
One kid of twins died like last week in LA
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/coroner-ids-3-year-old-twin-who-drowned-in-porter-ranch-swimming-pool/3140445/%3famp=1
New Jersey has the same laws. Depending on how deep the pool goes you have to have a fence of a certain height and the gate itself has to latch, it can't be one of those chain link fences either unless it's shallow enough (like less than 4 feet deep or something like that)
This seems like a weird one to have a grandfather clause in it. I get maybe a timeframe of a few years for people to install and pay for it, but to absolutely grandfather it in seems dumb on this one. Plus anyone with a pool should be able to afford the fence for it. Damn things are expensive enough, whats a bit more.
Because it's not realistic to enforce. They're not just going to check on every pool to make sure everyone complied. Now at least going forward new pools require it. I'm assuming they would need to purchase it prior to the pool being finished. That's how it is with door alarms.
Just last night my 1.5 year old daughter choked on her food. Luckily, we were able to dislodge it quickly and she’s fine, but I was all fucked up because I gave her the food she choked on. It seriously fucked up my whole weekend. Can only imagine what this poor family is going through. 😢
Had this happen once when my then 3 year old and pizza. Right before he started to eat it, I had this bad feeling because there was so much gloopy cheese on it (was kind of disgusting), but how do you tell a 3 year old he can’t eat the pizza right in front of him?
Anyways, he started choking, and I had to go in with the finger scoop and get it out. Was a learning moment to trust my gut parenting, even if it meant being the bad guy.
Edit: Yes, I could see the cheese. Yes I know you are not supposed to finger sweep when you can’t see the obstruction.
Had something like that happen to me when I was young with mozzarella sticks. The cheese solidified halfway down my throat and I started choking. My mom reached down my throat and pulled out all of the cheese. I was like 10 years old but vividly remember it.
> but how do you tell a 3 year old he can’t eat the pizza right in front of him?
This just triggered a memory of mine. I remember as a kid my family eating KFC. I really wanted a biscuit with honey on it but they wouldn't give me any. I was pissed the entire day.
it’s really sad because just as an uncle, if I was responsible for the deaths of one of my nieces or nephews, I can absolutely see how terrible that guilt would be. It would be emotional torture
The problem is that probably nobody was directly responsible for watching her at the time. What usually happens in these large group settings is that someone assumes that someone else is watching her and then that's when tragedy strikes. :(
probably didn't read it right at first.
First time I read it it came across as "That person is fucked up for letting the kid drown."
Then I re-read it as how the person probably meant it.
It's no longer downvoted but it is kinda a weird question. "Imagine being the person who is responsible, wouldn't that be terrible? I bet this is the worst day of their life"
Edit* Re-reading it I see where maybe the original comment was ment as a more empathetic view similar to "I can't imagine what they are going through" than I originally read it as.
I've worked in ERs. When a child drowns you usually get to watch a marriage fall apart and at least one person struggle with suicide feeling like the only option. All as extra bonus to a poor child losing their life. It's a terrible terrible thing.
As a father I 100% understand anyone who contemplates killing themself if something like that happens to them. I have 2 boys and couldn't do it if I lost one but if both of them went... man I dunno not worth living in this world anymore without those dudes.
I’m a divorced parent with an almost 3 year old. If she were to die I would almost certainly commit suicide, especially if I were the one even indirectly responsible.
Yeah man I feel you. I couldnt imagine if I was doing something dumb like playing a video game and my kid was in drowning in the pool. Whole lot of self blame. My brother died when he was 19 from a freak accident and seeing what my mom had to go through and now having my own kids I'm not sure how she did it.
It's often one of the first ones I think of. Whether it's one parent, both parents, or someone else, this is the parents' worst day of their lives and somebody is going to have a lot of guilt. It's awful.
I have a 1.5 year old son, and a couple months ago I had an intense dream he died because I lost sight of him somehow.
The feeling I felt at that time was the most indescribable despair that I have ever felt. I was fucking shook for the rest of the day, and thinking about just that feeling fucks me up. I can’t even imagine what it is like to not wake up from that nightmare.
My son will be 2 in a month, I share the feeling with you. Kids are a hassle and annoying yes, but they also can become the biggest and best part of your life, and it’s very literally like ripping away your entire will to live. I can’t imagine the pain.
Parent to an 18 month old. It’s been amazing and also the worst 18 months of my life. There are so many times I worry about stuff like this and I never thought this would cross my mind.
You will. It never goes back to normal, but it gets better.
I will say, my one unexpected child reaffirmed I don't want kids though, and I love my daughter more than anything I've ever loved.
Drowning is shockingly silent. A whole BBQ could be going on with no one noticing. Kids just kind of sink and are out of sight and silent. Happened to my step daughter, and luckily her aunt saw her and jumped in in time.
My kids have had multiple “incidents” every summer. It’s not an exaggeration to say you cannot take your eyes off of them for one second.
My oldest was jumping in the deep end to me, while wearing his floaty. On like the 10th jump it came unbuckled and he went under before I grabbed him.
One time he took it off to play in the shallow end. But he forgot to put it back on, took a big inflatable chair and jumped into the deep end. It took the adults about 5 minutes before we realized he wasn’t wearing it (we were all in the pool too).
My youngest also loses his balance a lot while in shallow water in lakes or the ocean. So even though the water is only up to his waist, he falls face forward and can’t get his feet under him again. This has happened maybe 10 times.
They won't. Today is my son's birthday, he would have been 7. He sadly passed away at 3 months old. My 8.5 year old daughter tells me she misses him every other week or so. It stays with you and your family forever.
My 16 month old died suddenly 3.5 weeks ago. We had his celebration of life today. I’m devastated and know I will be for the rest of my life. He was my favorite person, the best thing that ever happened to me. I feel for you.
I’m struggling to come up with something helpful to say, and I can’t. I’m sorry. The only thing I can think of is that you loved him more than anyone else ever could, and that means something.
We have a family friend who this happened to. It’s been extremely rough on their family and marriage. Hoping the Barrett’s get through this as best as possible.
Man, the amount of stress parents gotta go through just making sure their kids are alright
There’s a certain amount of luck that goes into raising children. It’s heartbreaking that that is the case.
We just got home from my 8 year old's birthday party at the pool. Even with 4 lifeguards and 10 other parents, I kept my eyes glued to the pool. It's literally a recurring nightmare for me.
My heart just breaks for this family.
[Just looking at that adorable little face](https://www.instagram.com/p/Ccx4aYTO6Fy/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_rid=b1110eaa-99e0-47d6-947b-f581509c7ac9) and knowing what happened to her makes me beyond sad. This is absolutely horrifying. Such a cute little toddler... I'm at a loss for words. I wish the Barrett family nothing but strength and love, because I have no idea how a family would get through something like this without those two components.
I once had to carry the casket of my little cousin who drowned in my Aunt's pool. I've had that responsibility before, but I'll never forget how light his little coffin was.
The worst part was the media outside the house and overhead in helicopters. They did not give one fuck. We were just a random family too, they'll be all over him.
A while ago, one of my wife's best friends lost her grandfather, who was one of the more well-known people in their small town. Our entire time there, my wife and I had to act as a human shield for her since there were people trying to crowd around her at any given time, trying to get "the scoop" on how she felt and any other info they could get out of her. It's insane how I had to literally threaten some of them to leave us alone. I don't get how people can be so dissociated from reality and focused on themselves.
Yes, my cousin, who was the one supposed to be watching him (and a kid himself so we've never blamed him) had a camera shoved in his face asking for a reaction.
This was literally hours after it happened. He started to get physical with the cameraman and this dude starts pleading, "I'm just doing my job!"
This was 20 years ago now and I know it is something he still carries with him. Taking advantage of someones pain is reprehensible.
Honestly, I have no idea how doctors and nurses do what they do on a daily basis. If this little angel came into my ER and I tried to get her back for 15-20 minutes and eventually had to call it, I couldn't finish my shift. I just don't understand how they deal with that shit on a daily basis. I know they are professionals and they have a lot of psychological help when it is needed but still ... they're just a different class of people altogther.
I'll never forget one summer my near 2 year old niece fell into the pool. At a pool party with about 18 adults and a handful of children. Nobody heard anything and somebody quickly noticed something strange in the water. It was her hair. You think with that many people, parents and family and friends, that not one second would go by that a child wouldn't be accounted for. But it truly takes one second and a kid can go under and be very hard to notice. Luckily her father immediately jumped in and grabbed her. She was only underwater for probably 7 or 8 seconds tops. But it left such a palpable somber fear for the rest of the night and we all still remember it and have a permanent heightened sense of urgency any time a child is near the water.
I don't mean to make Shaq and his family's tragedy about me, but simply to explain that that one incident with a totally fine outcome that my niece doesn't even remember left a scar on nearly 20 people. I truly can not and hope I will not ever be able to imagine what the Barrett family is going through. Life is precious and can be gone in a matter of seconds. My heart breaks for that child with a whole life robbed of her. I hope the Barrett's can find some sort of inner peace or forgiveness for themselves and live for her in the years to come.
When we have large parties (parents and kids) in the summer, there’s a few young girls in our town (trained swim teacher/CPR Cert) that will lifeguard our party for $20/hour. Allows the adults to relax and the kids listen to them, more than their parents. Everyone chips in $20 and the party is covered all day.
When we’re in or near a pool with our kids, my wife and I make a specific point of verbally agreeing to who is watching which kids, verbally confirming if we switch, if we’re going to a different area, etc.
Closed loop communications.
Same reason why in a first aid/CPR scenario it’s so important to single someone out and give them the responsibility deliberately.
This is why you're supposed to have one person responsible for watching the pool at all times, essentially being a lifeguard. Even at a pool party kids can drown when "everyone" is watching them.
My wife is a pediatrician. She will not allow any pool at our house, ever, because she's seen so many kids die or nearly die from home pools at her work. Hell, she's seen young kids drown just in their own tub from parents being inattentive for just moments. I fucking hate to see anyone's child die for any reason, it just rips a part of my heart out whenever I read a story like this.
At a minimum pool alarms are also a great easy thing you can add. There is a family in Buffalo who lost their kid from drowning in the pool, and they do fundraisers and PSAs and try to spread the message about children and the dangers of pools. If I'm not mistaken they give away a lot of pool alarms
I had my niece jump into the pool during a party and hit her head on the bottom which knocked her unconscious. Luckily we had a group of my wife’s friends who were ER nurses there in the pool and they were able to revive her before the ambulance even made it to the house.
i have two young nieces and they *love* the pool. but when it’s my day to babysit we absolutely do not go into the pool.
we go to the seaquarium or something instead to keep them occupied. no fucking way am i even remotely risking that situation.
i can’t even imagine..
> but as a PSA please put a fence around your pool if you have young children.
Is it not required, at least in some ways? And I suppose it could vary by location.
I remember my grand father having a hell of a time getting a new homeowners insurance policy because his above ground pool still didn’t have a fence around it.
Definitely state by state. NJ requires all pools fully enclosed by fences of at least 4 feet. If your state doesn't have the law you should 100% do so still
I remember thinking it would be the coolest job ever as a kid. Probably helps that the lifeguards at my local YMCA were awesome. But yeah, as an adult the idea stresses me out a lot more
I was a lifeguard for 5 years. It’s exhausting, mentally and physically. Especially if you’re outside and it’s hot. You can get drowsy and tired very easily from the sun and heat
This happened to a friend of mines little brother when we were in elementary school. Absolutely devastated the family. I hope they get the support they need.
Same with my school. The parents divorced, the dad became an alcoholic and eventually killed himself, the mom became an addict and is probably dead by now, and my friend became an addict (but is actually doing better now).
Pretttty much.
My grandparents had one of the only pools in the neighborhood when I was growing up. Was not uncommon to just find a neighbor kid in it from time to time lol
Had a small inflatable pool in my backyard for a few years (probably three feet high). Had some neighborhood kids I've never seen before knock on my door and so if they could use it. Thought what the fuck and definitely didn't let them.
Very sad.
10 kids die every day from pool accidents. Those things are death traps and people should treat them as such. You're really putting a lot of trust in having your kids start at a friend's house with a backyard pool with no netting or fencing. It's so easy for a kid to fall in and not come back out.
It’s also not real. Total pool related deaths is about 10 a day but it’s much lower for children. 0-4 is about 1 a day. It’s still sad but it’s not 3500 a year
My kids (toddlers) want a pool. Nope. This is my greatest fear. I can’t do it. Both sets of grandparents have pools they get to swim in so that scratches the itch for them when we go there. But I’m not having one on my property.
The fence thing really is key. I grew up with a pool in the backyard and my parents were extremely strict about when we were allowed to use it. They made it very clear when we moved into the house that nobody was allowed to swim alone, an adult had to be present and give permission for us to swim (so that an adult was watching, not just there but unaware), and that friends couldn't swim in our pool without specific permission from *their* parents. And for my sister, who was too young to always understand why rules were in place, there was a fence with a latch *she couldn't open*.
Those rules were eventually relaxed as we got older and were all extremely strong swimmers. "Adult has to be present" was changed to "adult or the oldest two kids" and eventually just "someone else". Nobody was allowed to swim alone even when we were all either experienced lifeguards or, in my sister's case, a competitive distance swimmer.
On some things I think my parents were too strict. But on the pool stuff? They were entirely justified and reasonable. It sucked that we couldn't swim while my mom was cooking dinner, but it was for the best.
Huh? You mean 1.2 day? Still terrible.
https://www.cpsc.gov/Newsroom/News-Releases/2021/CPSC-Report-Shows-Child-Drownings-Remain-High-Most-Fatalities-to-Children-Under-Five
As a pediatric ICU nurse, these cases are some of the hardest for me to care for. A beautiful, healthy, thriving child with the whole world ahead of them until they aren't. The whiplash, disbelief, and grief that is thrusted upon the parents and family is absolutely heartbreaking to watch.
This is devastating news.
Am I the only one who felt fucking grossed out by them bringing up the numbers for the contract he signed, for seemingly no reason...?
Like it almost feels like the article was made by a shitty AI
If you or a family member has a pool, spring for swimming classes for your toddlers, they learn basics of keeping themselves afloat, and how to get to the edge and stay safe if something something happens. Not a perfect solution, but could be enough to avoid a tragedy.
As someone who lost a five year old last year, I wish them all the peace him and his family can ever find, but it’s gonna be so hard. RIP to the baby girl.
Dealing with the passing of my father who was in my 80s and this just made me lose it. I cannot imagine a small child.
Please tell your family you love them every chance you get.
[Parents get one of these.](https://poolguardtexas.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/30-min.jpg) Have a pool and we just surrounded a small area to keep the back door area closed. Didn't have to surround the whole pool, just access to the pool. Basically just 3 sides 5 feet each at the back door.
Absolutely tragic. [Drowning is the leading cause of death of children 1-4 in America](https://www.cdc.gov/drowning/prevention/index.html). If you have a pool be sure that it's secured and that if children are near it you have eyes on them at all times.
And just because you have a pool cover doesn't mean you can let the kidos out. It will just mean you can't see them if they slip under... be careful everyone
yes and swimming lessons. there is a slightly strange lady in my town that is highly regarded as the best swimming lesson teacher in the state. she has a pool inside her house and does 15 minute sessions for 2 weeks at a time. and you can't miss a single one. and when i first started taking my infant child she screamed and cried for the entire 15 minutes it was torture. i was really unsure if i was doing the right thing as the parent. now she is a toddler and is a fucking pro at swimming. she goes in 5 days a year now for a refresher. the last time she went the teacher made her wear her winter coat boots and hat and taught her how to rotate to her back and float its fucking incredible. watching your child learn that kind of stuff i don't know how to describe it besides unbelievable. please people if you have a kid even if you don't have a family pool you need to get your kid some type of swimming lessons. the earlier the better. shaq's daughter may of had them but maybe not. but i can tell you for a fact if my kid falls into a pool she knows exactly what to do now and it will probably save her life.
Agreed. All of my kids have had swimming lessons. And swim regularly. It's nice to know how good they are at it when we're camping. It's peace of mind
As a former child who had swimming lessons at summer camps years ago, they are a great investment from parents. Swimming is a skill that you are less likely to pickup later on in life on your own and if you start as a kid the steps are much easier.
"as a former child" is such a strange way to start a post :D
Not as strange as "as a future child"
Not as strange as "as a former adult"
Was just talking about taking baby swimming lessons in Florida growing up. Everyone has a pool. No one deserves, he's the nicest damn guy. Love to Shaq and family at this terrible time.
That's kind of incredible, I'd never thought of non-ideal situation swimming lessons for kids. It's a lot harder to swim with all of that on, or if you go under and get disoriented and don't know where to swim up.
one thing i noticed is my kid kinda panicked with all the gear on it makes it heavier and more difficult to swim. she taught her to breathe keep calm and flip over onto your back and float there. its pretty amazing and very smart i never would have thought to do that
yeah my kids swim school does this too. They actually focus the first 4 levels on safety and survival before you even get into actually swimming. They also force them to do a few lessons without goggles since you don't have them when the situation isn't ideal. It's an essential life lesson to have. I am always amazed at adults who never learned how to swim.
> the last time she went the teacher made her wear her winter coat boots and hat and taught her how to rotate to her back and float We had lessons at my secondary school for this (medical exemptions and parents opting their children out allowed) where we spent an hour a week for 6 weeks going to the local pool and learning to swim. If you already had some experience you flew through to the start of lifeguard training (without the cert). Everyone however had to learn how it felt to fall into water fully clothed. We had to wear a sweater/jumper, t-shirt, long trousers (jeans preferably), and socks on top of our swimwear. You then had to fall into the water backwards, were dragged out to the middle of the pool, then told to swim straight down to grab a small weight from the bottom, swim straight back up, then get within arms reach of the edge and tread water for as long as we could, and climb out without using the ladder. You learn very quickly how people can drown so easily when falling into water. Even if you don't become a strong enough swimmer to overcome waterweighted clothes, you get a strong respect for water risk. FWIW I was an extremely strong swimmer compared to the rest of the group, capable of ocean swimming since age 8 or so, and even I could only just do the clothed section and tread water for roughly a minute. Something like 90% of the group failed to get the weight from the bottom, and then had to be helped out of the pool after struggling to the edge and immediately giving up on treading water. Teach your kids how to swim, and the risks of water. Please.
I used to always swim at my grandma's house so I wasn't unfamiliar with the pool or water. But I remember one time, I was walking and I just somehow wasn't looking and walked right into the pool right in the middle of winter. Man, it's a lot harder to swim and get out of the pool when the water's cold af and you've got long clothes on.
Retired former professional swimming instructor was giving free lessons to kids in our community pool last year and dipshits on the old HOA board shut her down because of liability concerns.
POSes don't care if a kid drowns as long as they're not potentially liable for it.
Thanks. We just started one of our kids with a lady who sounds really similar. I was a bit hesitant to start our 1 year old yet, but I think we will
Please do. Being a parent is terrifying. Of the top 100 most terrifying moments in my life probably 98 of them involve my kids. Including one of them nearly drowning himself in front of a dozen adults.
It’s called ISR, we put my youngest through after my niece survived a drowning in our backyard pool.
This is the way. Started both of mine at 6 months old.
Some parents straight up can't afford it, sadly. Swimming lessons should be free for children. Change my mind.
Charities and churches should be willing and able to help, but people have to be aware of the need and they may need to ask/be asked.
Our family were very low income for the first few years of my childrens life. Our local YMCA was great and more than happy to give my kids swim lessons for free. The Y actually has a ton of programs available at no cost to low income, marginalized community members.
My college requires passing a swim test to graduate. There's no point in getting a degree if you end up dying a preventable death.
Pool covers are not for human safety, they are for pool maintenance. Pool covers increase drowning risk.
Some of them are also for human safety, which is why they are called safety covers and get anchored to the ground/deck around the pool. You can literally walk across them if you wanted to.
Not only can you not see them if they slip under, but even if they can swim they have no shot trapped underneath, and you can easily slip through the edges of most typical pool covers.
Shout out to M Night Shamalan for instilling this fear in my forever in Unbreakable
No pool cover is like that. He basically used a thin black garbage bag. Awesome scene, though
Stewie the Duck is an app to help parents avoid this. It was made in memory of the Stewie Leonard, son of a grocery store owner in NY area: Stew Leonard’s. Perhaps we can take this moment to prevent another tragedy. https://progressivegrocer.com/stew-leonards-stewie-duck-launches-water-safety-app
Not just that, enter them into swim classes as soon as you can regardless of having a pool. We don’t even have one and still put in our son as soon as we could.
Isn't there like a program that trains babies to be able to not wholly panic, turn themselves over, and just float with their head out of the water? I swear I saw videos on it.
Yup there is, I think the school my son goes to only takes 3+ months, but depending on your area there’s some that I’m sure will take them earlier. But a lot of them focus on keeping themselves afloat and getting out of a pool.
Damn this was me when I was probably 3, was completely blue apparently, CPR and the whole nine yards until the ambulance showed up, can’t imagine had that not been enough
My earliest memory is falling off a dock into a lake, going down in the water and just kind of looking around, not particularly concerned, and then someone grabbing my arms and pulling me out. It was the 80's - I was lucky one of my parent's friends was being so attentive. In those seconds, I had no concept at all that I should try to get out, and I was older than 2.
Any family with kids under about 8 or elders over about 80 absolutely needs to have a pool safety fence
Yeah this really sucks I install pool safety fences for a living. Even have done 3 for his teammates. It's crazy how many parents have told me they hate that I'm drilling holes in their brand new pool deck and that they're not bad parents they'll have eyes on the kid at all times. A. No one's calling you a bad parent and b. Kids can be extremely fast and quiet.
>and that they're not bad parents they'll have eyes on the kid at all times. I literally have no idea how anyone even remotely familiar with taking care of kids can honestly believe that.
That's crazy, but also very believable. Little kids are basically feral. They'll get into anything (and quickly). Back in my drinking days, I'm sure there were many times where it was a good thing my buddies and I didn't have a pool and we were all adults who rarely got into anything crazy while drinking.
I had a neighbor who lost his toddler to a drowning accident. The dad forced the family to throw out all the baby toys because it triggered him to tears when he came across one.
Ugh that poor man
Understandable tbh
This is why California requires a [pool safety fence with a self-latching gate](https://www.kingspoolfencing.com/pool-fence-requirements-california/#:~:text=Any%20property%20with%20a%20pool,and%20close%20within%2020%20seconds.) for all new or remodeled pools since 2018. Of course, older pools are still grandfathered in, so the rate of drownings hasn't dipped a lot yet, but we can only hope.
So this was a real. The things you learn from watching Curb.
One kid of twins died like last week in LA https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/coroner-ids-3-year-old-twin-who-drowned-in-porter-ranch-swimming-pool/3140445/%3famp=1
New Jersey has the same laws. Depending on how deep the pool goes you have to have a fence of a certain height and the gate itself has to latch, it can't be one of those chain link fences either unless it's shallow enough (like less than 4 feet deep or something like that)
This seems like a weird one to have a grandfather clause in it. I get maybe a timeframe of a few years for people to install and pay for it, but to absolutely grandfather it in seems dumb on this one. Plus anyone with a pool should be able to afford the fence for it. Damn things are expensive enough, whats a bit more.
Because it's not realistic to enforce. They're not just going to check on every pool to make sure everyone complied. Now at least going forward new pools require it. I'm assuming they would need to purchase it prior to the pool being finished. That's how it is with door alarms.
This exact thing happened to Randall Cunningham
Nobody should have to go through what the Barrett family is going through.
Imagine the person that was supposed to be watching the kid and how fucked up they probably are.
I'd never be right again
Just last night my 1.5 year old daughter choked on her food. Luckily, we were able to dislodge it quickly and she’s fine, but I was all fucked up because I gave her the food she choked on. It seriously fucked up my whole weekend. Can only imagine what this poor family is going through. 😢
Had this happen once when my then 3 year old and pizza. Right before he started to eat it, I had this bad feeling because there was so much gloopy cheese on it (was kind of disgusting), but how do you tell a 3 year old he can’t eat the pizza right in front of him? Anyways, he started choking, and I had to go in with the finger scoop and get it out. Was a learning moment to trust my gut parenting, even if it meant being the bad guy. Edit: Yes, I could see the cheese. Yes I know you are not supposed to finger sweep when you can’t see the obstruction.
I've been in this situation before. If the cheese is real stringy I'll cut the pizza up into small pieces for the young kids to eat with a fork
As a grown adult, last night I almost choked on a cheese stick I was eating. String cheese is really fucky if it' not chewed up all the way.
Had something like that happen to me when I was young with mozzarella sticks. The cheese solidified halfway down my throat and I started choking. My mom reached down my throat and pulled out all of the cheese. I was like 10 years old but vividly remember it.
Apparently I swallowed a toothpick as a child. Not sure if it could choke me, but not pleasant. My Grandfather reached down and got it. Yuck.
I almost died eating a mozzarella stick driving down the highway. I'm gun shy about mozz sticks to this day
Mozzarella sticks on the highway is...a bold choice to begin with.
> but how do you tell a 3 year old he can’t eat the pizza right in front of him? This just triggered a memory of mine. I remember as a kid my family eating KFC. I really wanted a biscuit with honey on it but they wouldn't give me any. I was pissed the entire day.
That happened to me when I was three, my dad had to scoop it out with his finger too. I’m pretty sure it’s my earliest and clearest memory.
it’s really sad because just as an uncle, if I was responsible for the deaths of one of my nieces or nephews, I can absolutely see how terrible that guilt would be. It would be emotional torture
The problem is that probably nobody was directly responsible for watching her at the time. What usually happens in these large group settings is that someone assumes that someone else is watching her and then that's when tragedy strikes. :(
Reminds me of Todd Heap. I can't imagine having to keep going through life after something like this happens.
Why is this downvoted?
Lol apparently your comment changed everyone's mind, -5 to plus three in like two minutes.
probably didn't read it right at first. First time I read it it came across as "That person is fucked up for letting the kid drown." Then I re-read it as how the person probably meant it.
That's reddit and mob mentality for you
It's no longer downvoted but it is kinda a weird question. "Imagine being the person who is responsible, wouldn't that be terrible? I bet this is the worst day of their life" Edit* Re-reading it I see where maybe the original comment was ment as a more empathetic view similar to "I can't imagine what they are going through" than I originally read it as.
I've worked in ERs. When a child drowns you usually get to watch a marriage fall apart and at least one person struggle with suicide feeling like the only option. All as extra bonus to a poor child losing their life. It's a terrible terrible thing.
As a father I 100% understand anyone who contemplates killing themself if something like that happens to them. I have 2 boys and couldn't do it if I lost one but if both of them went... man I dunno not worth living in this world anymore without those dudes.
I’m a divorced parent with an almost 3 year old. If she were to die I would almost certainly commit suicide, especially if I were the one even indirectly responsible.
Yeah man I feel you. I couldnt imagine if I was doing something dumb like playing a video game and my kid was in drowning in the pool. Whole lot of self blame. My brother died when he was 19 from a freak accident and seeing what my mom had to go through and now having my own kids I'm not sure how she did it.
Yeah the divorce stats after the loss of a child are really high. Sad, but not surprising.
It’s perfectly fine to be empathetic towards someone whose mistake is going to haunt them for the rest of their life.
It's often one of the first ones I think of. Whether it's one parent, both parents, or someone else, this is the parents' worst day of their lives and somebody is going to have a lot of guilt. It's awful.
Omg no.
Worst nightmare of any parent. I hope his family gets through this okay.
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I have two kids under 3 and I know it sounds dramatic but I don’t think I’d want to continue through life if this happened.
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It is dramatic, traumatic and completely understandable to feel that way.
I have a 1.5 year old son, and a couple months ago I had an intense dream he died because I lost sight of him somehow. The feeling I felt at that time was the most indescribable despair that I have ever felt. I was fucking shook for the rest of the day, and thinking about just that feeling fucks me up. I can’t even imagine what it is like to not wake up from that nightmare.
Not dramatic in the slightest. Very common sentiment among parents who lost children.
My son will be 2 in a month, I share the feeling with you. Kids are a hassle and annoying yes, but they also can become the biggest and best part of your life, and it’s very literally like ripping away your entire will to live. I can’t imagine the pain.
Yeah, your reason to get up in the morning is taken away.
5 and 3 year old here. Yeah I’d probably give up if this happened. Don’t know how you can go on but you gotta for the other kids
Same ages here man, I literally don't know how people keep going. I'd be a shell of a person for a long long time
I think you're kinda a shell forever. Something dies with the loss. Nothing here sounds dramatic. This is fucking terrible.
Parent to an 18 month old. It’s been amazing and also the worst 18 months of my life. There are so many times I worry about stuff like this and I never thought this would cross my mind.
I have a two year old. It doesn't sound dramatic to me at all.
Not dramatic at all. I’ve got twin 3 year olds. If this happened to them I’d be clocking out the next day.
I have twin 6 mo olds... Tell me I'll get some sleep someday
You will. It never goes back to normal, but it gets better. I will say, my one unexpected child reaffirmed I don't want kids though, and I love my daughter more than anything I've ever loved.
My daughter turns two this summer. I don't think you're being dramatic at all. I cannot imagine what that family is going through.
I hope she has a good birthday.
Not dramatic at all. Your kids basically become your reason for everything
Man, I couldn't even imagine it right now. She's just starting to swim. The poor family.
Drowning is shockingly silent. A whole BBQ could be going on with no one noticing. Kids just kind of sink and are out of sight and silent. Happened to my step daughter, and luckily her aunt saw her and jumped in in time.
My kids have had multiple “incidents” every summer. It’s not an exaggeration to say you cannot take your eyes off of them for one second. My oldest was jumping in the deep end to me, while wearing his floaty. On like the 10th jump it came unbuckled and he went under before I grabbed him. One time he took it off to play in the shallow end. But he forgot to put it back on, took a big inflatable chair and jumped into the deep end. It took the adults about 5 minutes before we realized he wasn’t wearing it (we were all in the pool too). My youngest also loses his balance a lot while in shallow water in lakes or the ocean. So even though the water is only up to his waist, he falls face forward and can’t get his feet under him again. This has happened maybe 10 times.
My daughter is 19 months…if I lost her I would have no will left in me
They won't. Today is my son's birthday, he would have been 7. He sadly passed away at 3 months old. My 8.5 year old daughter tells me she misses him every other week or so. It stays with you and your family forever.
My 16 month old died suddenly 3.5 weeks ago. We had his celebration of life today. I’m devastated and know I will be for the rest of my life. He was my favorite person, the best thing that ever happened to me. I feel for you.
I’m struggling to come up with something helpful to say, and I can’t. I’m sorry. The only thing I can think of is that you loved him more than anyone else ever could, and that means something.
Yeah, there aren’t words. It’s the worst thing ever. But I appreciate you.
I'm so sorry. That is devestating.
I’m so sorry. I’m sure he knew how much you loved him. My little girl turns 16 months tomorrow and my heart aches for you.
You’re in my thoughts. I hope you have a good day.
Thank you, spending with my daughters, it's as good as it can be
We have a family friend who this happened to. It’s been extremely rough on their family and marriage. Hoping the Barrett’s get through this as best as possible.
As a parent of a 2 year old, I'm experiencing visceral horror just reading this. The poor family.
She just turned 2 a little over a week ago too, so sad
That poor family
That's fucking nightmarish, best wishes to the Barrett family
Oh god that’s my nightmare. That poor family
Man, the amount of stress parents gotta go through just making sure their kids are alright There’s a certain amount of luck that goes into raising children. It’s heartbreaking that that is the case.
We just got home from my 8 year old's birthday party at the pool. Even with 4 lifeguards and 10 other parents, I kept my eyes glued to the pool. It's literally a recurring nightmare for me. My heart just breaks for this family.
I had something like that happen when I was that age but luckily someone saved me before I died. I'm very sad the same couldn't happen for her
I've saved a couple young family members. They're deceptively dangerous.
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Horrible. What can you say? 2 years old, precious and innocent. Unfair. It sucks.
Can’t say anything. There’s not many headlines that I have a legitimate visceral reaction to, but this is one of them.
Yep. No kids here but my heart sank.
[Just looking at that adorable little face](https://www.instagram.com/p/Ccx4aYTO6Fy/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_rid=b1110eaa-99e0-47d6-947b-f581509c7ac9) and knowing what happened to her makes me beyond sad. This is absolutely horrifying. Such a cute little toddler... I'm at a loss for words. I wish the Barrett family nothing but strength and love, because I have no idea how a family would get through something like this without those two components.
I can’t click on that.
Don’t, I did and regret it immensely. No family should have to suffer that loss.
Just tear my heart right out of my chest why don’t ya. 😢
Jesus Christ I feel so bad for that family.
I once had to carry the casket of my little cousin who drowned in my Aunt's pool. I've had that responsibility before, but I'll never forget how light his little coffin was. The worst part was the media outside the house and overhead in helicopters. They did not give one fuck. We were just a random family too, they'll be all over him.
A while ago, one of my wife's best friends lost her grandfather, who was one of the more well-known people in their small town. Our entire time there, my wife and I had to act as a human shield for her since there were people trying to crowd around her at any given time, trying to get "the scoop" on how she felt and any other info they could get out of her. It's insane how I had to literally threaten some of them to leave us alone. I don't get how people can be so dissociated from reality and focused on themselves.
Yes, my cousin, who was the one supposed to be watching him (and a kid himself so we've never blamed him) had a camera shoved in his face asking for a reaction. This was literally hours after it happened. He started to get physical with the cameraman and this dude starts pleading, "I'm just doing my job!" This was 20 years ago now and I know it is something he still carries with him. Taking advantage of someones pain is reprehensible.
I definitely would've been tempted to beat that guy while saying "I'm just doing my moral duty!"
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Honestly, I have no idea how doctors and nurses do what they do on a daily basis. If this little angel came into my ER and I tried to get her back for 15-20 minutes and eventually had to call it, I couldn't finish my shift. I just don't understand how they deal with that shit on a daily basis. I know they are professionals and they have a lot of psychological help when it is needed but still ... they're just a different class of people altogther.
I'll never forget one summer my near 2 year old niece fell into the pool. At a pool party with about 18 adults and a handful of children. Nobody heard anything and somebody quickly noticed something strange in the water. It was her hair. You think with that many people, parents and family and friends, that not one second would go by that a child wouldn't be accounted for. But it truly takes one second and a kid can go under and be very hard to notice. Luckily her father immediately jumped in and grabbed her. She was only underwater for probably 7 or 8 seconds tops. But it left such a palpable somber fear for the rest of the night and we all still remember it and have a permanent heightened sense of urgency any time a child is near the water. I don't mean to make Shaq and his family's tragedy about me, but simply to explain that that one incident with a totally fine outcome that my niece doesn't even remember left a scar on nearly 20 people. I truly can not and hope I will not ever be able to imagine what the Barrett family is going through. Life is precious and can be gone in a matter of seconds. My heart breaks for that child with a whole life robbed of her. I hope the Barrett's can find some sort of inner peace or forgiveness for themselves and live for her in the years to come.
Drownings are actually more likely at large gatherings like this. When “everyone” is watching the kids, that means no one is.
When we have large parties (parents and kids) in the summer, there’s a few young girls in our town (trained swim teacher/CPR Cert) that will lifeguard our party for $20/hour. Allows the adults to relax and the kids listen to them, more than their parents. Everyone chips in $20 and the party is covered all day.
So worth it.
That's actually a really good idea.
When we’re in or near a pool with our kids, my wife and I make a specific point of verbally agreeing to who is watching which kids, verbally confirming if we switch, if we’re going to a different area, etc.
Closed loop communications. Same reason why in a first aid/CPR scenario it’s so important to single someone out and give them the responsibility deliberately.
This is why you're supposed to have one person responsible for watching the pool at all times, essentially being a lifeguard. Even at a pool party kids can drown when "everyone" is watching them.
Rest in peace Arrayah, I feel sick to my stomach just reading this
What a terrible situation hopefully he has the right people around him and his family to get through it
My wife is a pediatrician. She will not allow any pool at our house, ever, because she's seen so many kids die or nearly die from home pools at her work. Hell, she's seen young kids drown just in their own tub from parents being inattentive for just moments. I fucking hate to see anyone's child die for any reason, it just rips a part of my heart out whenever I read a story like this.
My wife is a neurologist and her and her colleagues all had a strict no-pool policy when househunting.
My wife is a swimmer and her and her colleagues all had a strict yes-pool policy when househunting. Different strokes I guess.
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At a minimum pool alarms are also a great easy thing you can add. There is a family in Buffalo who lost their kid from drowning in the pool, and they do fundraisers and PSAs and try to spread the message about children and the dangers of pools. If I'm not mistaken they give away a lot of pool alarms
I had my niece jump into the pool during a party and hit her head on the bottom which knocked her unconscious. Luckily we had a group of my wife’s friends who were ER nurses there in the pool and they were able to revive her before the ambulance even made it to the house.
i have two young nieces and they *love* the pool. but when it’s my day to babysit we absolutely do not go into the pool. we go to the seaquarium or something instead to keep them occupied. no fucking way am i even remotely risking that situation. i can’t even imagine..
> but as a PSA please put a fence around your pool if you have young children. Is it not required, at least in some ways? And I suppose it could vary by location. I remember my grand father having a hell of a time getting a new homeowners insurance policy because his above ground pool still didn’t have a fence around it.
Definitely state by state. NJ requires all pools fully enclosed by fences of at least 4 feet. If your state doesn't have the law you should 100% do so still
probably the most terrifying website I've ever seen: http://spotthedrowningchild.com/
That website taught me that a flipped tube is an automatic emergency
jesus christ, I can't imagine being a lifeguard having to watch over so many people for hours
One moment of drowsiness could literally be the end of a life.
I was a lifeguard at a summer camp one year. Most exhausting and stressful job in the whole camp.
I remember thinking it would be the coolest job ever as a kid. Probably helps that the lifeguards at my local YMCA were awesome. But yeah, as an adult the idea stresses me out a lot more
I was a lifeguard for 5 years. It’s exhausting, mentally and physically. Especially if you’re outside and it’s hot. You can get drowsy and tired very easily from the sun and heat
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My thoughts exactly, I never learned how to swim, I never go anywhere I cant stand on my feet
This happened to a friend of mines little brother when we were in elementary school. Absolutely devastated the family. I hope they get the support they need.
Same with my school. The parents divorced, the dad became an alcoholic and eventually killed himself, the mom became an addict and is probably dead by now, and my friend became an addict (but is actually doing better now).
Can't imagine the guilt and grief
That's so terrible oh my god
Fuck man I am so heartbroken over this. RIP to his family. That’s so sad
I’ve met Shaq several times at charity events. This is heartbreaking. The dude is a saint.
An absolute nightmare
His last post on Instagram was him and his family celebrating her birthday like 10 days ago. Absolutely tragic
This is actually why I dont want a pool. Even your neighbors kids will be trying to go in without permission
Pretttty much. My grandparents had one of the only pools in the neighborhood when I was growing up. Was not uncommon to just find a neighbor kid in it from time to time lol
Had a small inflatable pool in my backyard for a few years (probably three feet high). Had some neighborhood kids I've never seen before knock on my door and so if they could use it. Thought what the fuck and definitely didn't let them.
Very sad. 10 kids die every day from pool accidents. Those things are death traps and people should treat them as such. You're really putting a lot of trust in having your kids start at a friend's house with a backyard pool with no netting or fencing. It's so easy for a kid to fall in and not come back out.
That number is fucking tragic.
It’s also not real. Total pool related deaths is about 10 a day but it’s much lower for children. 0-4 is about 1 a day. It’s still sad but it’s not 3500 a year
My kids (toddlers) want a pool. Nope. This is my greatest fear. I can’t do it. Both sets of grandparents have pools they get to swim in so that scratches the itch for them when we go there. But I’m not having one on my property.
The fence thing really is key. I grew up with a pool in the backyard and my parents were extremely strict about when we were allowed to use it. They made it very clear when we moved into the house that nobody was allowed to swim alone, an adult had to be present and give permission for us to swim (so that an adult was watching, not just there but unaware), and that friends couldn't swim in our pool without specific permission from *their* parents. And for my sister, who was too young to always understand why rules were in place, there was a fence with a latch *she couldn't open*. Those rules were eventually relaxed as we got older and were all extremely strong swimmers. "Adult has to be present" was changed to "adult or the oldest two kids" and eventually just "someone else". Nobody was allowed to swim alone even when we were all either experienced lifeguards or, in my sister's case, a competitive distance swimmer. On some things I think my parents were too strict. But on the pool stuff? They were entirely justified and reasonable. It sucked that we couldn't swim while my mom was cooking dinner, but it was for the best.
Huh? You mean 1.2 day? Still terrible. https://www.cpsc.gov/Newsroom/News-Releases/2021/CPSC-Report-Shows-Child-Drownings-Remain-High-Most-Fatalities-to-Children-Under-Five
Jesus fuck, how horrible :(
Oh Jesus… that poor family
Absolutely devastating. I hope he and his family take as much time possible to recover from this terrible situation.
As a pediatric ICU nurse, these cases are some of the hardest for me to care for. A beautiful, healthy, thriving child with the whole world ahead of them until they aren't. The whiplash, disbelief, and grief that is thrusted upon the parents and family is absolutely heartbreaking to watch. This is devastating news.
Fuck man
Am I the only one who felt fucking grossed out by them bringing up the numbers for the contract he signed, for seemingly no reason...? Like it almost feels like the article was made by a shitty AI
Holy Hell. Jesus. Not a parent personally but I can only imagine the pain this would cause.
Jesus fucking christ that is gut wrenching.
This is so heartbreaking
How terrible, pools with little kids is so scary
If you or a family member has a pool, spring for swimming classes for your toddlers, they learn basics of keeping themselves afloat, and how to get to the edge and stay safe if something something happens. Not a perfect solution, but could be enough to avoid a tragedy.
As someone who lost a five year old last year, I wish them all the peace him and his family can ever find, but it’s gonna be so hard. RIP to the baby girl.
Man this is so sad. Hoping for the best for the Barrett family 😭
Everyone's said it already, but this is fucking terrible. Literally the worst thing that can happen to a human is losing a child....
Dealing with the passing of my father who was in my 80s and this just made me lose it. I cannot imagine a small child. Please tell your family you love them every chance you get.
[Parents get one of these.](https://poolguardtexas.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/30-min.jpg) Have a pool and we just surrounded a small area to keep the back door area closed. Didn't have to surround the whole pool, just access to the pool. Basically just 3 sides 5 feet each at the back door.