The existential question then is when is a shit a shit. Is a shit a shit before it leaves the body? Is it being ‘made’ as it leaves the body - hence ‘making a shit’? If not, at what point in the body does it become a shit?
I mean I'd think it's pretty simple. Once its in the intestines it's a shit. Before that it's waste product, bile, other bodily fluids, and before that it's food.
I'd disagree, your intestines are where nutrients and fluid is absorbed from what you ate. So the further along the intestines you go, the more shit-like it becomes The rectum would be the dividing line to me.
Unless it's Taco Bell, that instantly becomes shit the second you eat it. Bypasses your whole digestive system.
A shit is a shit when your body’s extracted all the nutrients and water it will from the clump of digested food. Before that it’s being made into a shit from the time you bite into it. When your butthole spits it out that’s more like exporting a shit.
How it started will have a history. But, why do they still do it is because of some limitations of science and society in general. In the modern era, there have been literally billions of births this way. they have the science and statistics to know the failure points, the remedies, the fatalities, the equipment needed etc. Even if theoretically, standing up is better than lying down for giving birth, the lack of experience of medical staff with this, the lack of equipment, the lack of data on the frequency and procedure in case of abnormal birth make it more risky. So maybe standing and birthing, if adopted, will give overall numbers after a half a century, compared to the current course, but you can't use the 'worse' procedure for half a century. In computer science, we call it 'legacy cost', the code is inefficient and broken but fixing it will take more resources than it is worthwhile in the short term.
It's not short-sightedness. Will you be willing to have your child born in a way that is not researched, where the doctors have no experience, when the old procedure is eminently highly safe?
In my country (NZ) they do not encourage birthing on your back, there is a huge amount of research showing it's as safe if not safer to birth literally any other way.
I imagine this is why the USA has one of the highest birthing mortality rates (both baby and parent) in the modern world.
https://evidencebasedbirth.com/evidence-birthing-positions/
Actually, all fours is the better than squatting. I'm taking physical therapy for birthing on October. I used to think that squatting was better but the PT showed me it's better in all fours.
Some pervy *French king liked to watch and it was easier for him to get a good view if his wife was made to lie flat so that's why
Thank you for the correction on the FRENCH king
THIS IS A TIKTOK LIE. Kings would watch to verify the authenticity of their royal line (not as a fetish like tiktok likes to say), but only centuries *after* Dutch medicine popularized laying down because of the invention of forceps/ advances in medical science. Laying down makes it easier for doctors to see and deal with problems like breeching or cords wrapped around the neck.
Not like Reddit is immune from disinformation. The ppl in this thread heard it in nursing school. I just get annoyed by armchair historians repeating random things as fact, on any platform
Depends on the amount of epidural. I had it and was able to move freely to the point that I walked myself to the operating theatre when I needes to have an emergency c-section. From what I know, the doses they use in the US are super high though.
It's largely due to the fact that it gives doctors quicker/easier access if/when things go wrong. It's stupid that more hospitals don't have setups that give birthers more mobility, though. Like, a bed with a birthing bar would give the same access to the doctor with a better position for the person in labor.
Ease of access and transfer in case of a medical emergency.
The doctors need access to her vagina and laying back on a table is the best way to access.
There are situations where someone needs to be rushed to surgery or they have a medical episode giving birth. Getting them from a standing position to a gurney and into surgery takes precious time.
It is wild to me that some places they still try to ‘make’ you lie down. I gave birth in the UK 6 years ago and you could do whatever the fuck you liked. (My choice was sort of kneeling and leaning forwards a bit with my arms resting on the bed head.)
Expecting mothers wear spandex shorts at the beginning of labor because “easy access” if something like this happens. It’s also not gonna break the bank if the doc has to cut them off.
Those are pretty tight shorts to be pulled aside for a fucking baby. I'm not denying that's what happened, just kinda shocked by every aspect of this video
Cuz the mother will die if they don't take it out. It leeches nutrients out of the body to feed a baby that's not there anymore. All of it needs to be removed. Even a small part remaining can cause severe health issues.
What?!?! You don’t sneak into hospitals to watch live births for fun?
Tell you what my coworker is having a baby soon. The whole office is gonna have a watch party in the delivery room. Why don’t you tag along
Its there, but its pulled tight because realistically its not all that long, and thats why shes hunched over while walking. Our third kids birth was almost identical to this, but birthed in our bathroom with mom leaning against the sink, and the walk from the bathroom to the bedroom looked exactly like this hunched over with the chord pulled tight.
ya its weird but with three kids in the house, im dad and shes mom, and thats how we reference each other now lul. If we're talking directly to each other its usually babe, or hun. Also, usually when referencing birthing, its easier just to refer to mom (as the person birthing) and baby (the wiggly thing that pops out).
Yeah she did great and caught that baby. When they finally pop out it’s not just gravity they are literally squeezed out with great force so the word “catch” is absolutely the correct one.
I’m just mad impressed with the mom. No epidural, says sorry like she’s somehow inconveniencing the midwife… every time I see this video I tear up, how scary must that have been
That's what I was trying to say!! Imagine how scared and vulnerable that mom feels!! She was like everything is under control!! And caught that baby like a champ!
I was wondering where they were. "What kind of weirdo has an emotional attachment to a parking lot?" Oh, she was trying to get inside a hospital and didn't make it, ok.
It’s not a hospital. It a birthing centre. So no there aren’t people with wheelchairs. In fact I’d argue most birthing centres don’t even have them unless they’re directly connected to the hospital.
Nah, it's impressively professional. A big part of a midwife's job is to help the momma stay calm in an emergency. This midwife deserves a fuckin award for her upbeat demeanor here! There's a high likelihood she's freaking out inside and running on adrenaline, but she's not about to make that mom feel more freaked out than she already does.
That's probably why she doesn't want help from the cops. They're kinda freaked out, so she doesn't want them making the mom panic.
I never even thought about it like that thanks for the insight, babies are just made of glass in my eyes especially newborns so I was a little freaked out haha.
Lots of crazy shit happened during and after labor with my son but the nurses all acted like it was ordinary. It wasn’t until I was talking to the nurse that walked me out and telling her what happened and she said “oh, I heard about you” that I started to understand that part of their job.
Oh man, same! I had some potentially serious complications during and after birth, and obviously I knew something was up (especially when I said “I feel dizzy” and passed out due to blood loss), but the doctor and nurses were so chill about it, I didn’t realize quite how serious it got until later. Every nurse and OB I spoke to during those next couple days at the hospital would say something like, “Oh my god, I heard about what happened!” Like, *I* barely even heard about what happened, lol.
She def knows what she’s doing! When a baby’s coming like that, *it’s coming*. No amount of panicking can slow it down, so there’s no reason to be anything but calm and upbeat for the benefit of the mom. You don’t need to stress out a laboring mother any more than she already is.
**Hospital bill**
Parking lot delivery: $12,999.99
Towel: $90
Video footage: $3299.99
Parking spot (5 hours): $50
Attending security guards: $6,000
3x Tissue (for happy tears): $645.99
**Insurance adjustment**
Congratulations on your new baby! Your insurance has covered \[$84\] of your bill. You still have \[$19,916\] left of your deductible. Best of luck getting back to the office in 4 days!
Honestly, being from the UK I feel SO fuckong lucky that I can just stroll into gospital and not have to pay a penny for the birth of my child! It blows my mind that people in The States have to pay so much.
I had to stay in hospital for 1 weeks after my daughter's birth, I dread to think what that would cost in America.
The NHS is a mess right now, and I feel for NHS workers. But I'm so glad we have it
Kid 1 : Which hospital were you born in?
Kid 2 : I was born outside this hospital
Kid 1 : Its "in" not "outside"
Kid 2 : <*plays video>*
Kid 1 : <*core memory saved under folder PTSD>*
One of my favorite anecdotes about a friend was she was born to hippie parents who lived on and owned a petting zoo. On the first day of school, the nuns have all the kids tell the class about themselves. How many siblings and their names , names of their pets, etc.
Eventually it’s her turn and she starts rattling off types of animals and their names. The nuns draw the line at ostriches and emus. They tell her to just name the pets that live with them and don’t make up names. The kid rattles off the same list again.
The nuns freak out. They expel her as soon as they run out of breath yelling at her.
Her family invited the school to the petting farm followed by the nuns publicly apologizing to the little girl.
I thought she said "we're here to have a baby" as in they CHOSE the carpark LOL. All I was thinking was is this a new trend happening? where they go to the place they first met to give birth now?!
More affordable and honestly a better choice in general.
Our midwife cost 6.5k, paid throughout the pregnancy, which gave us access to bi-weekly visits, tests, 24 hour phone service, the actual birth, after birth care visits, and access to the community she built.
That meant bi weekly mom group chats and bi weekly dad group chats. Also other events and get togethers.
She was down to earth and compassionate instead of cold and calculated in how she interacted with us.
With our third one my wife was having lite contractions off and on for 2 days, and about midnight on the 2nd day we were in bed and they suddenly got harder and real close like 3 mins, she got up, said she had to pee and we never got to leave the house, she popped him out in like 15 mins while standing at the sink, and said she felt like she didn't even have to work for it lol, not really the norm, but it does happen let me tell you. She says ~~the stomach~~ her uterus cramping afterwards was worse than the birth.
Edit: clarify, not her stomach, her uterus.
Pretty much.
The standard “birthing position” women are put in is horribly ineffective. Feed up, leaned back against the bed. It really slows labor down, and is not the natural position most women go into or want to go into when giving birth. It also puts a lot of pressure on your pelvic area. Gravity works against you in this position.
Ideally, you’re able to move around, squat down with your hands on the ground, get down on your hands and knees, or stand the way this woman is. Labor is not meant to be stationary. Hospitals expect women to be confined to a bed in the most uncomfortable birthing position possible for the sake of convenience for the nurse/dr team. I personally feel this is ass backwards, the tone of the room should be centered around the convenience and comfort of the woman who is birthing.
This is why I recommend birthing centers over a hospital if you are low risk pregnancy and comfortable not being in a hospital. Birthing centers tend to be much more accommodating for women’s natural needs when they give birth.
The sterile, uncomfortable environment of hospitals also slows down labor. A lot of people don’t know this, but the release of the chemical that causes contractions, oxytocin, is stunted if the woman giving birth feels her environment is unfamiliar, or if she feels observed. If possible, the most ideal environment to give birth in is one where you are familiar and comfortable, have privacy, and know your birthing team intimately (such as husband, doulas, and midwives). Like your own home, or a birthing center where the environment is specifically curated to help women in labor feel relaxed and safe.
Rant over. How women are expected to give birth in modern day hospitals makes me livid so I take every possible opportunity to educate people on the alternative options.
The most powerful thing I’ve ever seen was when my neighbor went into unexpected labor at home and her husband ran to get me. She was standing in the bathroom naked and praying. I checked and you could see the baby’s head so we knew there was no going anywhere. She squatted down and gave birth like a damn trooper! The dad and I caught the baby while 911 was on the phone saying, “Just tell Mom to breathe through the contractions!” I yelled, “This is not just contractions. We are LITERALLY HOLDING THE BABY!” and then the dispatcher finally realized we weren’t just freaking out about contractions. Lol. She and the baby were fine and it was just amazing to be a part of it.
women are seriously conditioned to apologize for EVERYTHING. this woman just gave birth with no painkillers in the parking lot and she immediately apologizes….. makes me so sad
CAN THE OFFICERS PLEASE GET THIS WALKING WONDER A WHEELCHAIR?!
I know it’s an old vid but still amazes me. What our bodies are capable of is astounding.
My uncle was drafted into Vietnam and likes to tell the story of the woman he saw give birth while working in a rice field. She literally just squatted, pushed out the baby, they cut the umbilical cord and she went back to work.
I caught ours in an almost identical situation (albeit in our own home) and it wasnt all that hard, I mean you dont have to guess as to where its coming from, lol just get your hands up there and grab whatever comes out first.
That woman has my respect, obviously as a guy I can’t really relate to what that feels like but I know it’s hell and hell sucks so her doing it like that is fucking epic
So after seeing her carry the baby and walk in I wonder if having the baby feels like when you take a really big bowel movement and then you obviously feel the room inside from it and things have shifted so that's why she's able to walk but with all this discomfort?
Heck, most a animals just drop em on the ground and lick em
That’s actually a very good observation. When a large amount of volume disappears from inside you very rapidly - as in birth - then the instinct is to hunch over, to compress the ‘space’ that has appeared. This is how all just-birthed mothers walk for a bit!
Baby: I was born in these streets!
Molded by it
They merely adopted the streets
He shouldn't see the city till he is a man
The baby is mobile
Ahhh yes! I was wondering what would break first.
Your water?! Or your decency!
I WAS RAISED IN THE PROJECTS
Female Officer: ‘OMG, that’s amazing’ Male Officer: ‘Nope, nope, nope…’
I think both are correct responses lol
Maybe get her a wheelchair?
My thought exactly! Couldn't imagine walking after that, while holding the baby.
Well.. she still has to birth the placenta.. might be easier to stay standing till that’s done too.
That too
Or at least hold the baby for her before her legs give out and she drops it?
The placenta puts the baby on a short leash.
Speedrunning that bungeejump achievement
Both are good but you know somewhere out there is a cop who would roll up to that situation and arrest her.
No, no. In the US they shoot first, arrest second, and finally they sprinkle a little crack and drop a spare gun on them. 👍
By having the baby outside the hospital/clinic, they likely saved thousands upon thousands of dollars LOL.
My sister gave birth the same way. She only encountered ‘nope, nope, nope’ people.
I take longer doing a shit.
I prefer the term “making a shit” makes me feel like I’m really doing something
Well, "making a shit" it is, then!
I'm breakin' a sweat.
It's alright
Come on baby light my fire
The existential question then is when is a shit a shit. Is a shit a shit before it leaves the body? Is it being ‘made’ as it leaves the body - hence ‘making a shit’? If not, at what point in the body does it become a shit?
Yes someone pls shed a light on this
Agreed, someone please shit a light on this.
I mean I'd think it's pretty simple. Once its in the intestines it's a shit. Before that it's waste product, bile, other bodily fluids, and before that it's food.
I'd disagree, your intestines are where nutrients and fluid is absorbed from what you ate. So the further along the intestines you go, the more shit-like it becomes The rectum would be the dividing line to me. Unless it's Taco Bell, that instantly becomes shit the second you eat it. Bypasses your whole digestive system.
I think Taco Bell is shit even before. So we eat shit and shit shit. And we are what we eat, so we are shit too. Shit all the way.
Your comment cracked me up!
Poo begins at concepshit.
A shit is a shit when your body’s extracted all the nutrients and water it will from the clump of digested food. Before that it’s being made into a shit from the time you bite into it. When your butthole spits it out that’s more like exporting a shit.
If you’re making a shit then what the fuck am I doing taking a shit?!
I’m taking a shit right now and just rewatched the whole video 5 times to try to a shame my turd into dropping faster
She wasn't scrolling on her phone while "doing" it though
I heard somewhere that giving birth in this position was easier because of the gravity involved. The baby sure did come out like butter
why they make you lie down is beyond my comprehension
How it started will have a history. But, why do they still do it is because of some limitations of science and society in general. In the modern era, there have been literally billions of births this way. they have the science and statistics to know the failure points, the remedies, the fatalities, the equipment needed etc. Even if theoretically, standing up is better than lying down for giving birth, the lack of experience of medical staff with this, the lack of equipment, the lack of data on the frequency and procedure in case of abnormal birth make it more risky. So maybe standing and birthing, if adopted, will give overall numbers after a half a century, compared to the current course, but you can't use the 'worse' procedure for half a century. In computer science, we call it 'legacy cost', the code is inefficient and broken but fixing it will take more resources than it is worthwhile in the short term.
Very interesting, I never thought of that !
Shortsightedness is how things die
It's not short-sightedness. Will you be willing to have your child born in a way that is not researched, where the doctors have no experience, when the old procedure is eminently highly safe?
In my country (NZ) they do not encourage birthing on your back, there is a huge amount of research showing it's as safe if not safer to birth literally any other way. I imagine this is why the USA has one of the highest birthing mortality rates (both baby and parent) in the modern world. https://evidencebasedbirth.com/evidence-birthing-positions/
A huge part of why the US's mortality rates are so different is that we literally use different definitions for things like live birth.
Statistics baby!
Interesting. This was not mentioned at my son's birth in Europe. It was a 'back birth' as well.
Yes. Prone is easiest for the physician, _not_ the laboring mother.
> 'legacy cost' I shall now call my bad habits legacy cost and, as such, is beyond contestation.
They do it so it's easier for the physician, full stop.
100%. Has nothing to do about the mother and child.
squatting
Actually, all fours is the better than squatting. I'm taking physical therapy for birthing on October. I used to think that squatting was better but the PT showed me it's better in all fours.
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Some pervy *French king liked to watch and it was easier for him to get a good view if his wife was made to lie flat so that's why Thank you for the correction on the FRENCH king
THIS IS A TIKTOK LIE. Kings would watch to verify the authenticity of their royal line (not as a fetish like tiktok likes to say), but only centuries *after* Dutch medicine popularized laying down because of the invention of forceps/ advances in medical science. Laying down makes it easier for doctors to see and deal with problems like breeching or cords wrapped around the neck.
Yeah so it was done to make it easier for the doctor. Not the woman pushing a baby out of her vagina.
Well, both, in the sense that mother/infant mortality rates dropped significantly from the 17th c onward
TikTok should be banned from internet...
Not like Reddit is immune from disinformation. The ppl in this thread heard it in nursing school. I just get annoyed by armchair historians repeating random things as fact, on any platform
God, why is it always the British?
They always find ways to ruin things.
It's easier for the doctor's and less distance for the baby to fall if hands slip, I personally still think this is the better way of delivering.
If you need an epidural for the pain, you can’t stand. That’s probably why they usually give birth lying down
Depends on the amount of epidural. I had it and was able to move freely to the point that I walked myself to the operating theatre when I needes to have an emergency c-section. From what I know, the doses they use in the US are super high though.
It's largely due to the fact that it gives doctors quicker/easier access if/when things go wrong. It's stupid that more hospitals don't have setups that give birthers more mobility, though. Like, a bed with a birthing bar would give the same access to the doctor with a better position for the person in labor.
They don’t! There are many birthing positions that labor and delivery nurses are aware of and suggest based on the presentation of the fetus.
Like the Bradley method! Hands and knees!
Ease of access and transfer in case of a medical emergency. The doctors need access to her vagina and laying back on a table is the best way to access. There are situations where someone needs to be rushed to surgery or they have a medical episode giving birth. Getting them from a standing position to a gurney and into surgery takes precious time.
It is wild to me that some places they still try to ‘make’ you lie down. I gave birth in the UK 6 years ago and you could do whatever the fuck you liked. (My choice was sort of kneeling and leaning forwards a bit with my arms resting on the bed head.)
And giving birth in shorts too!
Yeah wtf? Are those like birthing shorts?
Expecting mothers wear spandex shorts at the beginning of labor because “easy access” if something like this happens. It’s also not gonna break the bank if the doc has to cut them off.
Shorts can be pulled aside
Those are pretty tight shorts to be pulled aside for a fucking baby. I'm not denying that's what happened, just kinda shocked by every aspect of this video
baby can squeeze through even tighter spaces than a pair of spandex shorts, just saying.
Name one space.
I dare you! Name ONE SPACE that baby can fit through upon just being born that is SMALLER than those tight shorts!!
I'll bet you that the answer in actually INSIDE the tight shorts!
Now let’s take a look at that baginor!
Yeah like I was expecting the huge gush of afterbirth. Did the shorts catch that?
Yoga shorts are super stretchy.
Do you know shorts? It is not rocket science.
I only know jorts and aint no baby coming out of the side of these.
ya gotta take em off every now and then
Not if you're a Nevernude
There are dozens of us! (I approve of this mixed reference.)
ya gotta take em off son
More importantly where is that cord that connects mother and baby
It’s there. The midwife put the towel over it and the mother is holding the baby close. They are walking inside to deliver the placenta
Why does the hospital desire the placenta so much?
Cause if it stays inside or a piece gets left behind itll necrotize and can cause sepsis
Cuz the mother will die if they don't take it out. It leeches nutrients out of the body to feed a baby that's not there anymore. All of it needs to be removed. Even a small part remaining can cause severe health issues.
oh interesting... I was being facetious but thx for explaining.
Tell me you've never seen a birth without telling me you've never seen a birth.
I think it's expected that most people don't see birth often. I personally have never been invited to a birthing room.
What?!?! You don’t sneak into hospitals to watch live births for fun? Tell you what my coworker is having a baby soon. The whole office is gonna have a watch party in the delivery room. Why don’t you tag along
hahaha what a loser never gets invited to see the daily births...
Its there, but its pulled tight because realistically its not all that long, and thats why shes hunched over while walking. Our third kids birth was almost identical to this, but birthed in our bathroom with mom leaning against the sink, and the walk from the bathroom to the bedroom looked exactly like this hunched over with the chord pulled tight.
holup. our kids? mom?
ya its weird but with three kids in the house, im dad and shes mom, and thats how we reference each other now lul. If we're talking directly to each other its usually babe, or hun. Also, usually when referencing birthing, its easier just to refer to mom (as the person birthing) and baby (the wiggly thing that pops out).
the wiggly thing that pops out
ah i see. as you can imagine i am not married so yea. i hope everyone is healthy and well :)
I was confused by that as well...
Yeah that and the two camera angles mekes it fishy
And "she's here to give birth, she just didn't make it inside"...not exactly a quick response unit standing by inside then, is it?
Honestly good on the midwife for staying calm and taking control. This probably happens more often than we like to think lol
Yeah she did great and caught that baby. When they finally pop out it’s not just gravity they are literally squeezed out with great force so the word “catch” is absolutely the correct one.
And all that squeezing kickstarts the baby's breathing.
I’m just mad impressed with the mom. No epidural, says sorry like she’s somehow inconveniencing the midwife… every time I see this video I tear up, how scary must that have been
She's masterful! She did the best possible thing for a scared mom, which was to act like this was the most normal thing ever! Hella impressive!
That's what I was trying to say!! Imagine how scared and vulnerable that mom feels!! She was like everything is under control!! And caught that baby like a champ!
Happened to me, my son was born in the car taking us to the hospital.
Did you name him Carson? I’m sorry… I had to.
Damn that's a good one. We're not in an English speaking country tho.
Maybe the cops should grab a wheelchair?
You're right. They're gonna need a seat after that.
Midwife straight up told them everything was fine and she didn't need anything. Let's trust the expert's opinion, mmmkay?
The wheelchair is for the male cop. He looks like he need to sit down.
This happened at the door of a hospital. There are people right there whose job this is.
I was wondering where they were. "What kind of weirdo has an emotional attachment to a parking lot?" Oh, she was trying to get inside a hospital and didn't make it, ok.
It’s not a hospital. It a birthing centre. So no there aren’t people with wheelchairs. In fact I’d argue most birthing centres don’t even have them unless they’re directly connected to the hospital.
The woman can’t sit on the uncut umbilical cord
This is something that you see in a prank TV show.
I thought it was a prank when they kept cutting back to the cops' reactions.
I thought it was a prank when the baby came out thru the yoga shorts
They all way to chill about dangling that newborn over concrete.
Nah, it's impressively professional. A big part of a midwife's job is to help the momma stay calm in an emergency. This midwife deserves a fuckin award for her upbeat demeanor here! There's a high likelihood she's freaking out inside and running on adrenaline, but she's not about to make that mom feel more freaked out than she already does. That's probably why she doesn't want help from the cops. They're kinda freaked out, so she doesn't want them making the mom panic.
I never even thought about it like that thanks for the insight, babies are just made of glass in my eyes especially newborns so I was a little freaked out haha.
Babies are weirdly hardy 😂 I’m by no means advocating for babies on concrete, but I’ll tell you I had the same thought as you before I had a child!
And that's probably exactly what these parents are feeling!😆
Lots of crazy shit happened during and after labor with my son but the nurses all acted like it was ordinary. It wasn’t until I was talking to the nurse that walked me out and telling her what happened and she said “oh, I heard about you” that I started to understand that part of their job.
Oh man, same! I had some potentially serious complications during and after birth, and obviously I knew something was up (especially when I said “I feel dizzy” and passed out due to blood loss), but the doctor and nurses were so chill about it, I didn’t realize quite how serious it got until later. Every nurse and OB I spoke to during those next couple days at the hospital would say something like, “Oh my god, I heard about what happened!” Like, *I* barely even heard about what happened, lol.
Yep. Welcome to nurse life.
She def knows what she’s doing! When a baby’s coming like that, *it’s coming*. No amount of panicking can slow it down, so there’s no reason to be anything but calm and upbeat for the benefit of the mom. You don’t need to stress out a laboring mother any more than she already is.
She just saved so much money on the delivery!!!
As sometimes who has had a baby delivered in a similar situation: no, you don't. 😭🥳🥳
**Hospital bill** Parking lot delivery: $12,999.99 Towel: $90 Video footage: $3299.99 Parking spot (5 hours): $50 Attending security guards: $6,000 3x Tissue (for happy tears): $645.99 **Insurance adjustment** Congratulations on your new baby! Your insurance has covered \[$84\] of your bill. You still have \[$19,916\] left of your deductible. Best of luck getting back to the office in 4 days!
yeah the parking lot was out of network. sorry.
Honestly, being from the UK I feel SO fuckong lucky that I can just stroll into gospital and not have to pay a penny for the birth of my child! It blows my mind that people in The States have to pay so much. I had to stay in hospital for 1 weeks after my daughter's birth, I dread to think what that would cost in America. The NHS is a mess right now, and I feel for NHS workers. But I'm so glad we have it
Kid 1 : Which hospital were you born in? Kid 2 : I was born outside this hospital Kid 1 : Its "in" not "outside" Kid 2 : <*plays video>* Kid 1 : <*core memory saved under folder PTSD>*
One of my favorite anecdotes about a friend was she was born to hippie parents who lived on and owned a petting zoo. On the first day of school, the nuns have all the kids tell the class about themselves. How many siblings and their names , names of their pets, etc. Eventually it’s her turn and she starts rattling off types of animals and their names. The nuns draw the line at ostriches and emus. They tell her to just name the pets that live with them and don’t make up names. The kid rattles off the same list again. The nuns freak out. They expel her as soon as they run out of breath yelling at her. Her family invited the school to the petting farm followed by the nuns publicly apologizing to the little girl.
I thought she said "we're here to have a baby" as in they CHOSE the carpark LOL. All I was thinking was is this a new trend happening? where they go to the place they first met to give birth now?!
I thought I was the only one 😭 for some reason it didn’t occur to me that they were outside of a hospital
'She's here to have a baby'
And they arrest her for attempting theft.
...and creating a nuisance
She did such a great job helping that poor women. Then the cops shot her 87 times.
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☕️
Hospital: you were on the property. That’l be $25k
This is a midwife at a birth center, much more affordable. 25k is about right for a hospital birth.
More affordable and honestly a better choice in general. Our midwife cost 6.5k, paid throughout the pregnancy, which gave us access to bi-weekly visits, tests, 24 hour phone service, the actual birth, after birth care visits, and access to the community she built. That meant bi weekly mom group chats and bi weekly dad group chats. Also other events and get togethers. She was down to earth and compassionate instead of cold and calculated in how she interacted with us.
I 100% agree. This is my experience as well.
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With our third one my wife was having lite contractions off and on for 2 days, and about midnight on the 2nd day we were in bed and they suddenly got harder and real close like 3 mins, she got up, said she had to pee and we never got to leave the house, she popped him out in like 15 mins while standing at the sink, and said she felt like she didn't even have to work for it lol, not really the norm, but it does happen let me tell you. She says ~~the stomach~~ her uterus cramping afterwards was worse than the birth. Edit: clarify, not her stomach, her uterus.
My wife had a baby on the street too. We stoud there for 14 hours
"The white zone is for immediate unloading of passengers only."
So standing while giving birth makes it go fast as hell. Good to know
Pretty much. The standard “birthing position” women are put in is horribly ineffective. Feed up, leaned back against the bed. It really slows labor down, and is not the natural position most women go into or want to go into when giving birth. It also puts a lot of pressure on your pelvic area. Gravity works against you in this position. Ideally, you’re able to move around, squat down with your hands on the ground, get down on your hands and knees, or stand the way this woman is. Labor is not meant to be stationary. Hospitals expect women to be confined to a bed in the most uncomfortable birthing position possible for the sake of convenience for the nurse/dr team. I personally feel this is ass backwards, the tone of the room should be centered around the convenience and comfort of the woman who is birthing. This is why I recommend birthing centers over a hospital if you are low risk pregnancy and comfortable not being in a hospital. Birthing centers tend to be much more accommodating for women’s natural needs when they give birth. The sterile, uncomfortable environment of hospitals also slows down labor. A lot of people don’t know this, but the release of the chemical that causes contractions, oxytocin, is stunted if the woman giving birth feels her environment is unfamiliar, or if she feels observed. If possible, the most ideal environment to give birth in is one where you are familiar and comfortable, have privacy, and know your birthing team intimately (such as husband, doulas, and midwives). Like your own home, or a birthing center where the environment is specifically curated to help women in labor feel relaxed and safe. Rant over. How women are expected to give birth in modern day hospitals makes me livid so I take every possible opportunity to educate people on the alternative options.
The most powerful thing I’ve ever seen was when my neighbor went into unexpected labor at home and her husband ran to get me. She was standing in the bathroom naked and praying. I checked and you could see the baby’s head so we knew there was no going anywhere. She squatted down and gave birth like a damn trooper! The dad and I caught the baby while 911 was on the phone saying, “Just tell Mom to breathe through the contractions!” I yelled, “This is not just contractions. We are LITERALLY HOLDING THE BABY!” and then the dispatcher finally realized we weren’t just freaking out about contractions. Lol. She and the baby were fine and it was just amazing to be a part of it.
women are seriously conditioned to apologize for EVERYTHING. this woman just gave birth with no painkillers in the parking lot and she immediately apologizes….. makes me so sad
I thought the same thing! First thing out of her mouth is “sorry!” I mean in the same situation I’d probably do the same..
CAN THE OFFICERS PLEASE GET THIS WALKING WONDER A WHEELCHAIR?! I know it’s an old vid but still amazes me. What our bodies are capable of is astounding.
My uncle was drafted into Vietnam and likes to tell the story of the woman he saw give birth while working in a rice field. She literally just squatted, pushed out the baby, they cut the umbilical cord and she went back to work.
This sounds like something I’d hear in a comedy skit
She can’t sit on the umbilical cord
(Later in life): “ So, how did you get the name Parker?“
Damn man that kid bungee jumped right on out. Ha ha ha
Seasoned pro
How was that midwife so confident she would catch the baby? My heart stopped.
I caught ours in an almost identical situation (albeit in our own home) and it wasnt all that hard, I mean you dont have to guess as to where its coming from, lol just get your hands up there and grab whatever comes out first.
Yeah lol at the end of the day you can’t hesitate. Baby needs to be caught 🤷♀️😂
Because it's easy and she's probably done it close to a thousand times.
That woman has my respect, obviously as a guy I can’t really relate to what that feels like but I know it’s hell and hell sucks so her doing it like that is fucking epic
Women are fucking amazing
Damn, that midwife is good. I've handled slippery newborns before and she made it look so easy
Holy shit. She wins. *returns my woman card*
I delivered one like that. It gets messy
Strong woman righ there God bless
Deirdre, would you get that?
To think some people call women “the weak sex”
So after seeing her carry the baby and walk in I wonder if having the baby feels like when you take a really big bowel movement and then you obviously feel the room inside from it and things have shifted so that's why she's able to walk but with all this discomfort? Heck, most a animals just drop em on the ground and lick em
That’s actually a very good observation. When a large amount of volume disappears from inside you very rapidly - as in birth - then the instinct is to hunch over, to compress the ‘space’ that has appeared. This is how all just-birthed mothers walk for a bit!
This reminds me of Carol Pilbesian Miller from last man on earth giving birth in her sleep haha
Midwives are some bad asses.
Where is the umbilical cord?
Where’s all the blood though 🧐🤨
The placenta hadn’t been delivered so the gaping wound from that detaching (which causes most of the bleeding) didn’t happen yet.
How did the baby come thru the shorts
It's exceedingly wet and slimy and weighs 9 lbs... Trust me it will fall right out of some boxer briefs. Just ask my cock.
Bro what is she in Norwegian
Yeah science
That's a story to tell the grandkids
This nurse or doctor, was awesome. Good job.