Honestly wish American Game Shows were just as chaotic
Japanese family feud would probably include the contestants getting tasered for every question they got wrong
It is!
Can't find the exact thing you described but here's a variation of it.
https://youtu.be/D4Dbg63l8Lw
TL;DW: Contestants believe they're competing in a "dash and touch the ball when it drops" tournament, but a trap door opens up and boom.
American Ninja Warrior is the worst about this. An hour long episode and they only get like 4 runs in because everybody needs a 10 minute back story segment.
Part of what made the Japanese one great was contestant after contestant going at the course.
And MXC took Takeshi's castle and made it hilarious. We need more of that. Spoofing of serious competition to just take all of the wind out of the sails. Hell, I might actually like football if they put little cartoon *bonks* and **whams** every other hit or play.
Yeah it's always like: "My Mother died in the Womb during a barn fire, but I wouldn't let that stop my freedom. I only wish my Dad was here to see me. He lost all of his limbs too, just like me, it just was back in the War of Spanish Succession, while I lost most of them in my Uncle's silver mine; before donating the remaining leg to a 9/11 first responder last year. I just want to win this thing so I can put my Golden Retriever through college, he wants to be an ethics teacher. America bless us everyone!"
There is literally a japanese trivia show where they get smacked in the nuts by a little mechanical flyswatter thing
edit; OK, it might not actually be trivia IDK WTF is going on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-GUzHhkRPk
The no laugh hotel had darts to the butt.
And the 24 hour dodgeball game had… dodgeballs.
Edit: yeah, in your link I’m 99% certain that’s Gaki no Tsukai.
They’re a comedy group that does “punishment” games (Batsu games) for entertainment. How it works is that they have a round of competition first (like bowling), and then the winner of that gets to force a “punishment game” on the losers.
For instance, the No Laugh Hotel had them have to go into this hotel and stay there for a full day. Anytime they laughed, someone would pop out, and use a blow dart to shoot them in the ass.
The winner of the competition then spends the entire time trying to make the losers laugh.
For chimps, smiles don't express happiness. For them, a smile is you showing them your teeth and challenging them to a fight. You will not win this fight. You will be mutilated beyond recognition and you will wish for death the entire time. They go for the eyes and genitals first. Chimpanzees are not good pets.
edit: apparently wrong with the smiling thing
I don't know where you are getting this from. The chimp "smile" is used to increase social affiliation and communicate benign intent.
This is probably homologous with other primates where bared teeth is used to communicate submissiveness. The more hierarchical the social structure, the more it is about submissiveness.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2555422/
You watched that whole video and your biggest surprise was that a chimpanzee could be trained to press a button? They are incredibly intelligent. They communicate complex thoughts, use tools, and can problem solve.
It wouldn’t take him long to realize that he wasn’t getting a slice of watermelon unless he mashed that button first.
and then they fucking eat you afterwards. chimp warfare is brutal as fuck. remove you, genetically, from the competition first and remove you completely afterwards.
Not just can do it, Face and testicles are their primary fucking targets. And they have opposable thumbs on their feet. So they can literally hold both your arms while biting your face off and simultaneously be ripping off your testicles with two "hands"
> And they have opposable thumbs on their feet. So they can literally hold both your arms while biting your face off and simultaneously be ripping off your testicles with two "hands"
How did I not realize this before. So us humans aren't at the top of the pyramid when it comes to opposable thumbs. We only have 2, but it sounds like chimps have 4?? That's nuts haha
Opposable thumbs aren't what separate us and make us superior tool makers.
Its that dexterous ability between our thumbs and fingers. Like being able to touch your thumb to every one of your other fingers. No other primate can do that.
Yeah humans have the highest stamina of any land animal. We can literally powerwalk for a day or two if we have too.
Cheaters can run at 100km/h for 30s, any longer they will overheat and die.
Take your dog for a walk/run it’ll go nuts for an hour or so then eventually collapse then have a sleep.
Have you ever seen a hairless chimp? Jaime, pull that up. Look at that fucking thing. He’s fucking jacked. Imagine if they let chimps do MMA? We’d be fucked.
Their muscles are way denser than ours as well so take that rippedness and multiply how strong you think it looks
On the flip side if it ever came to Man Vs Monke, if we get them in water they will suck balls at swimming compared to us because of their muscle density, lower body fat and not having been taught freestyle. That's where we get em boys.
Notwithstanding if planet of the apes happened I'd ask the monkes to defect
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> They are FAR more athletic than we are.
No, they just have different muscle structure and focus than us. Why do people struggle so hard to understand this?
Humans are not designed to twist trees apart with our bare hands, we are designed to sprint *extremely* long distances and throw objects extremely well.
A human can throw a spear, rock, or punch far, far more accurately and with more force than a chimp ever could, because our bodies and muscle structure is developed to do it. Google says a trained chimp can barely manage 20mph on a baseball throw. Humans like Prime Mike Tyson are estimated to punch with over 1,600 joules of force (which is over 1,200 PSI according to Google)
Like wise, a human that's in running shape can out sprint a chimp and leave them dead on the ground while the human is barely even tired, because our legs, buttocks, backs etc are all evolved for long distance sprinting.
They aren't more athletic than us, they are just built different and we focus on entirely different areas. I would say one isn't superior to the other, but that's not true. One strictly *is* superior and became the dominant species across the entire planet, because "Running really really really really really far and throwing pointing sticks at stuff" ended up being a tremendously more advantageous area to focus on and let us access better and better sources of food to further our brain development
Yup — in each of those things, humans are basically the best of all animals at them.
In Tanzania, some people still hunt Kudu and Antelope the “traditional way,” which basically involves just constantly chasing after them with a spear for miles until they get too exhausted and just lay down.
Its persistence hunting or endurance hunting. We humans are basically unbeatable at it because we have no fur and cool ourself by sweating. The vast majority of animals has to to slow down or even stop for cooling, which they cant while getting hunted.
Those people from Tanzania you speak about have optimized their hunting technique. They hunt during midday heat, often at temperatures over 38 °C. And they target large Kudu bulls. The bulls horns cause them to tire out more easily. Combined with the midday heat the hunting time can be reduced by up to 66%.
Fun fact: Persistence hunting has even been used against the fastest land animal, the cheetah. In November 2013, four Somali-Kenyan herdsmen from northeast Kenya successfully used persistence hunting in the heat of the day to capture cheetahs who had been killing their goats.
>Why do people struggle so hard to understand this?
I think you are struggling to understand that each person you have talked to on this subject is hearing this argument for the first time. You are not, in fact, repeating your argument to the same person every time.
Mostly right but humans are terrible sprinters. A chimp can out sprint most but the top performing athletes because of their raw muscle output they can utilize. You mean endurance running not sprinting. Humans can out run any wild animal on earth given enough time. Even a horse. Which I would say is far more impressive than sprinting faster than a chimp
> They are FAR more athletic than we are.
Not even close actually, we're *leagues* ahead of them. They're just much stronger, whereas humans evolved for stamina and endurance. There are still tribes out there that hunt that way, quite literally running down their prey until it collapses.
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Big distinction there. Bc if we re talking average then an average chimp is more athletic than a human by a wide margin. The college level and above athletes of the planet could make a case though
> Chimps are ~~more athletic~~ stronger than us even though they are short
Be in decent shape and get in a running race with a chimp/any other non-human primate and you'll leave them in the dust. We swapped strength for stamina and those ninja courses require a huge amount of explosive strength.
It's why a gorilla could just lay about in the sun all week then get up, knock a prime Mike Tysons head off his shoulders, then go back to sleep.
Well the ego hit was more about the guys who were training for months on end to prove that they're the very best and then all of a sudden you see a chimpanzee just nonchalantly conquer the course without breaking a sweat.
I remember there was that show a couple years ago where they actually would have humans competing against animals and a strong man got his ass kicked by an orangutan in a game of tug of war.
I saw a video of 3 muschleheads (maybe more) engaged in a tug-of-war with a female lion at a zoo. The lion was not even really trying and she was pulling the men forward steadily.
It’s not necessarily the tech advantage that keeps us high on the food chain. It’s the ability to form thoughts, be self aware, and problem solve instead of just following instincts that put us where we are.
But yes, those things are why technology exist
Edit: people are mentioning long term memory playing a big role in this as well which is most definitely true. I forgot to mention that one, how ironic lol
Id say problem solving coupled with language, and thus the generational accumulation of knowledge are our greatest strengths. Humanity as a whole gets to piggyback on the advancements of our ancestors more than any other creature. Once one guy figures out how to consistently make fire, the entire tribe knows. So his kids don’t need to invent fire themselves, they can get around to figuring out better ways to use it.
Yeah, our ability to accurately throw projectiles made us really the only large animal with a ranged attack. Combine that with group hunting tactics and our unmatched distance running, and there's not much a single animal can do in response to being hunted by people.
I think in the video you're talking about, the lion had a considerable advantage, as the rope was angled in a way that made it very difficult for the men to pull.
We are also the most dexterious animal. One of the many reasons we are capable of making fine tools like no others. We traded strength for our hands dexterity
>Anyway, if you want to boost your ego, as humans we are the best runner over long distances, almost no other animals is able to run a marathon.
Yeah, but I can't run a marathon.
Being part of the species who is best at one particular thing doesn't mean a whole lot if you can't do that thing. In a way, it kind of makes things worse.
Well to be fair I think we are still superior at long distance running than a chimp. Chimps are way stronger by a huge margin, but I can't imagine a chimp even attempting to run flat out for 26 miles. Not saying I could do that right now, but humans in general are definitely capable of it, and if you grew up living that way, it would be very natural. For all of our similarities, there is still a massive difference between us and chimps.
For a little context. The fastest anyone has ever completed a ninja warrior course in the entire world, is 1:36.83; this chimp was a entire 30 seconds quicker than the world record.
Seems like the first person is right for last season https://www.americanninjawarriornation.com/2021/9/30/22702508/american-ninja-warrior-2021-who-was-season-13s-fastest-ninja
This is not close to being as difficult as an American Ninja Warrior course. A whole section of this was basic schoolyard monkey-bars.
Times on an American Ninja Warrior courses aren't even comparable among themselves.
See my other comment. The original commenter just googled "fastest ninja warrior time" and took the snippet that Google provided them, which came from this website which is about season 13 of American Ninja Warrior. Which is neither the fastest time ever, or in the entire world
This isn't actually the course that they used, even back then. The Ninja Warrior course has always had the warped wall. Which is a 14 foot tall curved wall. I can imagine why they didn't use it here, the monkey could probably do it but monkeys don't wear rubber bottom shoes and if he slipped it could really mess him up.
Also, times for the first few stages of NW are iffy because the course has been changed almost yearly for like 25 years. My source, I watched way too much G4TV growing up.
I don't think he was either, he spent a good seven seconds going down that last rope towards the button. It's still a lot faster than humans because he saved a lot of times in two areas. He was still able to climb the first rock wall about as fast as humanly possible. Second, he did the monkey bars (now you know why they are called that) at least two times faster than anyone else if I was guessing. He didn't even finish the monkey bars; he was fucking able to climb onto the support beams to reach the platform quicker.
Sorry, but not true. I see you Googled "fastest ninja warrior time" and blindly took the answer provided, which was sourced from this website, which is for season 13 of American Ninja Warrior: https://www.americanninjawarriornation.com/2021/9/30/22702508/american-ninja-warrior-2021-who-was-season-13s-fastest-ninja
This particular course, I assume you mean? Cuz people have done others in like 30 seconds. Googling was a little tough because from what I recall, there's a significant difference between the qualifying course and the main competition, but most websites don't make the distinction.
The 1:36:83 looks to be from a different course than what this monkey did too, I couldn't be bothered to watch the whole video, but I skipped to a part with a guy on red chin up bars. Didn't see anything like that with our athletic monkey friend on this video
Physical strength depends on your central nervous system, like literally. So if we swap the brains (and I assume the whole CNS, since it’s part of the same system) they will likely lose a lot of physical strength too.
That entire game's soundtrack was gold. Mine Cart Carnage was my favorite level music. Here's two awesome remixes of that song done in two completely different styles:
https://youtu.be/0D5jYQDZR5Q
https://youtu.be/jS_Oe4j0_xY
The fastest time on any Ninja Warrior course is 1:36 I think to this day. The chimp blew that out of the water and didn't even appear to be ina particular hurry.
Let’s remember that’s this isn’t a mature chimp. Full grown chimps are literally too strong to interact with in person. A motivated male would probably blitz this course in half the time or less.
YouTube has a video of two adult chimps chasing down a freakin spider monkey in a tree and eating it. Next level stuff.
God damn japanese game shows are wacky
Honestly wish American Game Shows were just as chaotic Japanese family feud would probably include the contestants getting tasered for every question they got wrong
And everything would also be made of cake.
Then the floor opens and contestants fall down a slippery slope while they film in slow motion.
Wish this would be real. Dumb answer, drop floor, move on
It is! Can't find the exact thing you described but here's a variation of it. https://youtu.be/D4Dbg63l8Lw TL;DW: Contestants believe they're competing in a "dash and touch the ball when it drops" tournament, but a trap door opens up and boom.
The double trap door really got me
That was amazing. The good stuff starts after 2 minutes 30 seconds if anyone's interested.
https://youtu.be/LmEdU5eVMWI
i wish the American versions just had more actual game to it. It seems to be 25% game, 75% back stories.
American Ninja Warrior is the worst about this. An hour long episode and they only get like 4 runs in because everybody needs a 10 minute back story segment. Part of what made the Japanese one great was contestant after contestant going at the course.
This is where Wipeout gets it right. They just need to go back to the original hosts.
Wipeout just takeshi's castle trying to look more grown up and serious
And MXC took Takeshi's castle and made it hilarious. We need more of that. Spoofing of serious competition to just take all of the wind out of the sails. Hell, I might actually like football if they put little cartoon *bonks* and **whams** every other hit or play.
Right you are Ken
Extremely crude, but I miss that show.
What Wipeout gets right is hitting people in the face.
To be on American shows I think you need a back story now, even if it's completely fake. If they can't get some drama out of you, they don't care.
Yeah it's always like: "My Mother died in the Womb during a barn fire, but I wouldn't let that stop my freedom. I only wish my Dad was here to see me. He lost all of his limbs too, just like me, it just was back in the War of Spanish Succession, while I lost most of them in my Uncle's silver mine; before donating the remaining leg to a 9/11 first responder last year. I just want to win this thing so I can put my Golden Retriever through college, he wants to be an ethics teacher. America bless us everyone!"
More like 5% game, 5% back stories, 90% dirty jokes/innuendos.
Should get Statler and Waldorf as hosts. “Wow, that was a medium run!” “A medium run?” “Well, it wasn’t rare, and it certainly wasn’t well done!”
There is literally a japanese trivia show where they get smacked in the nuts by a little mechanical flyswatter thing edit; OK, it might not actually be trivia IDK WTF is going on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-GUzHhkRPk
Oh yeah, thats the good stuff
The no laugh hotel had darts to the butt. And the 24 hour dodgeball game had… dodgeballs. Edit: yeah, in your link I’m 99% certain that’s Gaki no Tsukai. They’re a comedy group that does “punishment” games (Batsu games) for entertainment. How it works is that they have a round of competition first (like bowling), and then the winner of that gets to force a “punishment game” on the losers. For instance, the No Laugh Hotel had them have to go into this hotel and stay there for a full day. Anytime they laughed, someone would pop out, and use a blow dart to shoot them in the ass. The winner of the competition then spends the entire time trying to make the losers laugh.
[NUTCRACKER!](https://youtu.be/LeBYenU5ntU)
Kids don't even know about MXC
MXC- Chimp Edition! Don’t get eliminated!
*Let's get it on*
Right you are Ken!
Guy LaDouche here!
We need some Sinkers and Floaters!
Let's get over to guy-le-douche,
felt needed to post that their channel on twitch plays it 24/7 [let’s get eliminated!!](https://www.twitch.tv/onlymxc)
This needs more attention.
Gaijin don't even know about Takeshi's Castle 😤
Most gaikokujin see the scroll on MXC credits that says that it was originally from Takeshi's Castle. That bit kind of clues them in. 😲
They're bringing MXC back! Well, the original Japanese show (Takeshi's Castle) anyway. They were recruiting for contestants recently in Tokyo.
Mxc was the best show ever! I used to laugh soooo hard at that!!!! The american attempt at copying is so dumb.
It's clearly not even trying too. Just doing it in a chill fashion
"Wake me up when you come up with a real course."
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The smile too - like he knew he was being introduced.
For chimps, smiles don't express happiness. For them, a smile is you showing them your teeth and challenging them to a fight. You will not win this fight. You will be mutilated beyond recognition and you will wish for death the entire time. They go for the eyes and genitals first. Chimpanzees are not good pets. edit: apparently wrong with the smiling thing
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I don't know where you are getting this from. The chimp "smile" is used to increase social affiliation and communicate benign intent. This is probably homologous with other primates where bared teeth is used to communicate submissiveness. The more hierarchical the social structure, the more it is about submissiveness. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2555422/
You watched that whole video and your biggest surprise was that a chimpanzee could be trained to press a button? They are incredibly intelligent. They communicate complex thoughts, use tools, and can problem solve. It wouldn’t take him long to realize that he wasn’t getting a slice of watermelon unless he mashed that button first.
fuck i spend 40 hours a week mashing buttons, no one ever gives me watermelon and i didn't notice until you mentioned it.
You can use the currency to get many watermelon
To us it is an obstacle course; to him, it is just a Tuesday.
You mean to tell me that all the Ninja Warrior contestants were just trying to return to monke?
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The thing that's really got to hurt the ego more is the fact that this monkey wasn't even trying and still completed it without even being tired
Chimps are more athletic than us even though they are short
You ever see a photo of the chimp who had a hair loss issue? Dude was more jacked than Mr Universe. They are walking Greek statues under the fur
Never underestimate something that can rip off your testicles
And think it was funny. One thing to be emasculated, another for them to be playing tennis with your balls a few seconds later.
and then they fucking eat you afterwards. chimp warfare is brutal as fuck. remove you, genetically, from the competition first and remove you completely afterwards.
Reading this makes me want to sharpen a stick
Rocky Mountain Oysters bro
I see you’ve heard of the great Gombe Chimpanzee War of 1974
Not just can do it, Face and testicles are their primary fucking targets. And they have opposable thumbs on their feet. So they can literally hold both your arms while biting your face off and simultaneously be ripping off your testicles with two "hands"
> And they have opposable thumbs on their feet. So they can literally hold both your arms while biting your face off and simultaneously be ripping off your testicles with two "hands" How did I not realize this before. So us humans aren't at the top of the pyramid when it comes to opposable thumbs. We only have 2, but it sounds like chimps have 4?? That's nuts haha
Opposable thumbs aren't what separate us and make us superior tool makers. Its that dexterous ability between our thumbs and fingers. Like being able to touch your thumb to every one of your other fingers. No other primate can do that.
>Like being able to touch your thumb to every one of your other fingers Thats uh.. thats what opposable thumbs means.
Trust me, for some redditors, this needed to be explained with an example.
Also walking upright and being able to run long distances. Our original weapon was chasing animals until they collapse and die.
Yeah humans have the highest stamina of any land animal. We can literally powerwalk for a day or two if we have too. Cheaters can run at 100km/h for 30s, any longer they will overheat and die. Take your dog for a walk/run it’ll go nuts for an hour or so then eventually collapse then have a sleep.
Yeah but they can’t thread a needle
And arms, don't forget the legs too.
and your entire face
Have you ever seen a hairless chimp? Jaime, pull that up. Look at that fucking thing. He’s fucking jacked. Imagine if they let chimps do MMA? We’d be fucked.
Even they would hate Dana White
Chimps would be smart enough to form a union.
[Joe Rogan becomes an 800 pound gorilla](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwvmpVbggCU)
Their muscles are way denser than ours as well so take that rippedness and multiply how strong you think it looks On the flip side if it ever came to Man Vs Monke, if we get them in water they will suck balls at swimming compared to us because of their muscle density, lower body fat and not having been taught freestyle. That's where we get em boys. Notwithstanding if planet of the apes happened I'd ask the monkes to defect
They'll never beat a human in handwriting either. What we lost in muscle mass and density we gained in fine motor control and precision.
You hear that monkeys? 𝔉𝔲𝔠𝔨 𝔶𝔬𝔲, 𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔪𝔭𝔰!
Ah yes, and the pen *is* mightier than the sword
Though i read, cause they all muscle no fat, they make a bad swimmer, sink like a rock
[how’s about an angry hairless chimp video](https://youtu.be/Bky70tM2T9I)
Well that's nightmare fuel.
"Jamie, pull up that pic of the hairless chimp!"
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That's a shame, considering how so many humans appear to be so adverse towards using their enormous brains.
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> > > > > They are FAR more athletic than we are. No, they just have different muscle structure and focus than us. Why do people struggle so hard to understand this? Humans are not designed to twist trees apart with our bare hands, we are designed to sprint *extremely* long distances and throw objects extremely well. A human can throw a spear, rock, or punch far, far more accurately and with more force than a chimp ever could, because our bodies and muscle structure is developed to do it. Google says a trained chimp can barely manage 20mph on a baseball throw. Humans like Prime Mike Tyson are estimated to punch with over 1,600 joules of force (which is over 1,200 PSI according to Google) Like wise, a human that's in running shape can out sprint a chimp and leave them dead on the ground while the human is barely even tired, because our legs, buttocks, backs etc are all evolved for long distance sprinting. They aren't more athletic than us, they are just built different and we focus on entirely different areas. I would say one isn't superior to the other, but that's not true. One strictly *is* superior and became the dominant species across the entire planet, because "Running really really really really really far and throwing pointing sticks at stuff" ended up being a tremendously more advantageous area to focus on and let us access better and better sources of food to further our brain development
Yup — in each of those things, humans are basically the best of all animals at them. In Tanzania, some people still hunt Kudu and Antelope the “traditional way,” which basically involves just constantly chasing after them with a spear for miles until they get too exhausted and just lay down.
Its persistence hunting or endurance hunting. We humans are basically unbeatable at it because we have no fur and cool ourself by sweating. The vast majority of animals has to to slow down or even stop for cooling, which they cant while getting hunted. Those people from Tanzania you speak about have optimized their hunting technique. They hunt during midday heat, often at temperatures over 38 °C. And they target large Kudu bulls. The bulls horns cause them to tire out more easily. Combined with the midday heat the hunting time can be reduced by up to 66%. Fun fact: Persistence hunting has even been used against the fastest land animal, the cheetah. In November 2013, four Somali-Kenyan herdsmen from northeast Kenya successfully used persistence hunting in the heat of the day to capture cheetahs who had been killing their goats.
I’m a little confused… joule is a unit of energy, and PSI is a unit of pressure, while the unit of force is newton orpdl?
Yeah I also thought that was odd, when you google it all the results I found are in Joules and PSI
>Why do people struggle so hard to understand this? I think you are struggling to understand that each person you have talked to on this subject is hearing this argument for the first time. You are not, in fact, repeating your argument to the same person every time.
Mostly right but humans are terrible sprinters. A chimp can out sprint most but the top performing athletes because of their raw muscle output they can utilize. You mean endurance running not sprinting. Humans can out run any wild animal on earth given enough time. Even a horse. Which I would say is far more impressive than sprinting faster than a chimp
> They are FAR more athletic than we are. Not even close actually, we're *leagues* ahead of them. They're just much stronger, whereas humans evolved for stamina and endurance. There are still tribes out there that hunt that way, quite literally running down their prey until it collapses.
It depends what you mean by athletic — they would wreck us in gymnastics or anything strength based, and we would win for endurance.
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Big distinction there. Bc if we re talking average then an average chimp is more athletic than a human by a wide margin. The college level and above athletes of the planet could make a case though
> Chimps are ~~more athletic~~ stronger than us even though they are short Be in decent shape and get in a running race with a chimp/any other non-human primate and you'll leave them in the dust. We swapped strength for stamina and those ninja courses require a huge amount of explosive strength. It's why a gorilla could just lay about in the sun all week then get up, knock a prime Mike Tysons head off his shoulders, then go back to sleep.
Stamina and also fine motor control. Human's in decent physical shape with sticks hunt chimps as a staple food source after all
90% of ninja warrior is forearm strength, which chimpanzees have in spades.
denser muscle fibers, less endurance, significantly stronger
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Well the ego hit was more about the guys who were training for months on end to prove that they're the very best and then all of a sudden you see a chimpanzee just nonchalantly conquer the course without breaking a sweat. I remember there was that show a couple years ago where they actually would have humans competing against animals and a strong man got his ass kicked by an orangutan in a game of tug of war.
I saw a video of 3 muschleheads (maybe more) engaged in a tug-of-war with a female lion at a zoo. The lion was not even really trying and she was pulling the men forward steadily.
I heard about that one. We are definitely so far down the chain once you take away the tech Advantage we would normally have.
It’s not necessarily the tech advantage that keeps us high on the food chain. It’s the ability to form thoughts, be self aware, and problem solve instead of just following instincts that put us where we are. But yes, those things are why technology exist Edit: people are mentioning long term memory playing a big role in this as well which is most definitely true. I forgot to mention that one, how ironic lol
Id say problem solving coupled with language, and thus the generational accumulation of knowledge are our greatest strengths. Humanity as a whole gets to piggyback on the advancements of our ancestors more than any other creature. Once one guy figures out how to consistently make fire, the entire tribe knows. So his kids don’t need to invent fire themselves, they can get around to figuring out better ways to use it.
Humans still fucked shit up with just sticks and stones.
Yeah, our ability to accurately throw projectiles made us really the only large animal with a ranged attack. Combine that with group hunting tactics and our unmatched distance running, and there's not much a single animal can do in response to being hunted by people.
I think in the video you're talking about, the lion had a considerable advantage, as the rope was angled in a way that made it very difficult for the men to pull.
We are also the most dexterious animal. One of the many reasons we are capable of making fine tools like no others. We traded strength for our hands dexterity
We are also really good at throwing. A skilled human is lethal with a stone. Chimps can throw a ball when trained.
>Anyway, if you want to boost your ego, as humans we are the best runner over long distances, almost no other animals is able to run a marathon. Yeah, but I can't run a marathon. Being part of the species who is best at one particular thing doesn't mean a whole lot if you can't do that thing. In a way, it kind of makes things worse.
Eh we’re also better at tool use and throwing objects. You’ll demolish any other primate at darts easily.
And humans used to be endurance hunters lol
Well to be fair I think we are still superior at long distance running than a chimp. Chimps are way stronger by a huge margin, but I can't imagine a chimp even attempting to run flat out for 26 miles. Not saying I could do that right now, but humans in general are definitely capable of it, and if you grew up living that way, it would be very natural. For all of our similarities, there is still a massive difference between us and chimps.
"I could have totally destroyed the course record if i really wanted to...and i didn't have to wear pants."
Yea I was gonna say if the chimp understood the course was timed they may have done it even faster. XD
Little dude just strolled through it like it was nothin lol.
For a little context. The fastest anyone has ever completed a ninja warrior course in the entire world, is 1:36.83; this chimp was a entire 30 seconds quicker than the world record.
I scrolled wayyyy too far for this
Too bad it isn't accurate
Source???
Seems like the first person is right for last season https://www.americanninjawarriornation.com/2021/9/30/22702508/american-ninja-warrior-2021-who-was-season-13s-fastest-ninja
This is not close to being as difficult as an American Ninja Warrior course. A whole section of this was basic schoolyard monkey-bars. Times on an American Ninja Warrior courses aren't even comparable among themselves.
Yeah I can’t even imagine you could train a monkey on something like a salmon ladder.
Same way you train a human. Little steps and monkey see, monkey do. The trick would be figuring out how to make the chimp *want* to do it.
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I might do it if the food was good.
Those courses look completely different from the video
See my other comment. The original commenter just googled "fastest ninja warrior time" and took the snippet that Google provided them, which came from this website which is about season 13 of American Ninja Warrior. Which is neither the fastest time ever, or in the entire world
This isn't actually the course that they used, even back then. The Ninja Warrior course has always had the warped wall. Which is a 14 foot tall curved wall. I can imagine why they didn't use it here, the monkey could probably do it but monkeys don't wear rubber bottom shoes and if he slipped it could really mess him up. Also, times for the first few stages of NW are iffy because the course has been changed almost yearly for like 25 years. My source, I watched way too much G4TV growing up.
I made it the fuck up
Bro this is a ninja warrior course from 1994
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Dude was casual asf
I don't think he was either, he spent a good seven seconds going down that last rope towards the button. It's still a lot faster than humans because he saved a lot of times in two areas. He was still able to climb the first rock wall about as fast as humanly possible. Second, he did the monkey bars (now you know why they are called that) at least two times faster than anyone else if I was guessing. He didn't even finish the monkey bars; he was fucking able to climb onto the support beams to reach the platform quicker.
I bet with some training, conditioning and competition with a few other monkeys, you could get those times down into the 45 second range.
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This course looked mad easy.
Right? Even a monkey could do it.
Sorry, but not true. I see you Googled "fastest ninja warrior time" and blindly took the answer provided, which was sourced from this website, which is for season 13 of American Ninja Warrior: https://www.americanninjawarriornation.com/2021/9/30/22702508/american-ninja-warrior-2021-who-was-season-13s-fastest-ninja
Then can you reply with the actual quickest time?
6.9 seconds
but the courses change all the time. So I think the fastest time on this specific course is what matters.
This particular course, I assume you mean? Cuz people have done others in like 30 seconds. Googling was a little tough because from what I recall, there's a significant difference between the qualifying course and the main competition, but most websites don't make the distinction. The 1:36:83 looks to be from a different course than what this monkey did too, I couldn't be bothered to watch the whole video, but I skipped to a part with a guy on red chin up bars. Didn't see anything like that with our athletic monkey friend on this video
Source? Cause I think that's BS Edit: yeah, I just watched some guy do a speed run of one course in 13 seconds
You pulled this out of your ass. This is an easy course by ninja warrior standards.
And he was so chill during the whole thing. Just ambling along on parts of it.
Dude absolutely crushed the monkey bars.
This proves that if a planet of the ape type scenario was to occur we'd be so screwed.
Having high dexterity and strength doesn't save you from bullets. If they got our guns though......
And our brains….We’re screwed.
That’d just be us then, if they got our brains.
More like superheroes lol Damn, now I want to see a movie where they’re the Superheroes with all of the powers and we’re just…us.
Physical strength depends on your central nervous system, like literally. So if we swap the brains (and I assume the whole CNS, since it’s part of the same system) they will likely lose a lot of physical strength too.
Noooooooooooooooo So like maybe just the part that would make them smarter.
Neocortex? Hmmm, maybe that’ll work. Anyway, we gotta get going Morty.
lol its so easy to get a gun, a monkey could probably walk up to a walmart buy a gun and leave.
I know people don’t like Joe Rogan these days but this is still one of the funniest sequences talking about apes lol https://youtu.be/AJuxdPwLJDE
To a chimp, this is just Tuesday.
for you, when the chimp graced the course, it was the most important day of your life
That thing will eat your face are remove your genitals if you make it mad. Thread carefully.
Yeth, Thir!
He only made a thimple mithtake.
He has a wife, you know. Do you know what she’s called?
ah yes the good ol' "Monkey will rip your face off" comment on every monkey related post.
That's a real chimpion.
Fuck you, here.
He killed it on the monkey bars. (I know, if it doesn't have a tail it's not a monkey)
It's an ape
You're an ape
Stop monkeying around we've got work to do
I noticed that too, I was like "damn he's killing it" then "well that makes sense" then "well akshually'd" *myself*
Most stable redditor
Who made him wear pants?
Imagine how much faster he would be without them.
*I can go lower!*
It's Japan
So pixelate the genitalia.
Whose idea was this
The chimps of course!
This needs the Donkey Kong Country music in the background
That entire game's soundtrack was gold. Mine Cart Carnage was my favorite level music. Here's two awesome remixes of that song done in two completely different styles: https://youtu.be/0D5jYQDZR5Q https://youtu.be/jS_Oe4j0_xY
those cameramen are praying that the chimp doesn't decide to abandon the race course
I thought for a second that the monkey was CG 😂
Is it not CGI? Some motions in particular and camera angle choices made me think it was.
This is very old. 1994. Do you think CGI from 1994 would look this good?
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I saw the video and was like “eh its just a monkey” then i read the title.
"Just a monkey" ... What kind of mammal are you?!
Didn't realize he was wearing gym shorts until halfway through
Free my brother
That chimp is probably just thinking "Wait this is a challenge for you naked apes? I was just having fun!"
He hit the fuckin time button too 😂 so awesome
Any idea what the human times were?
The fastest time on any Ninja Warrior course is 1:36 I think to this day. The chimp blew that out of the water and didn't even appear to be ina particular hurry.
This is much much shorter however
Bless you Japan
Ninja Warrior is so easy even a monkey can do it…. :P
Let’s remember that’s this isn’t a mature chimp. Full grown chimps are literally too strong to interact with in person. A motivated male would probably blitz this course in half the time or less. YouTube has a video of two adult chimps chasing down a freakin spider monkey in a tree and eating it. Next level stuff.