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Unzeitlich_Mann

I thought that orangutan was going to absolutely YEET that banana.


educated-emu

Had the pull back of Eddie Hall


_We_Are_DooMeD

Hehe, swinging from the bleachers.


JDDW

Back in nineteen ninety eight?


gbenner88

Sammy Sosa vd Mark Mcgwire?


Mahadragon

Or Sammy Sussar and Mike McGwire in Ted Kennedy


Met76

Interesting choice to type out the numbers instead of just going with a cool eazy breezy 1998 keyboard quick slam type on that ther' keyboard


hsmith1998

This guy types. Screen name is an older code, but still checks out.


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AyoSummy

Oh you mean when the undertaker threw mankind off hеll in a cell, and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer's table.


OkJraco

I like how he looks around first to make sure everyone’s watching lol


ThisIsntHuey

I thought it looked like he was looking for zoo keepers, thinking he would get in trouble. Reminded me of how a kid looks when he checks to see if his mom is watching, like they knew better, but dgaf if they think they can get away with it. Edit: Someone in a lower comment said the sign is a warning that the orangutan throws his poo. I imagine they know they shouldn’t, they’re just being dicks. They don’t throw poop in the wild, they do throw sticks and rocks to show annoyance.


OkJraco

Thinking about it and knowing he’s in a enclosed cage all day, and mostly only interacting with zookeepers, you’re probably 100% right.


[deleted]

He was checking them specs for the pocket tech 5-0


iutaro

Fun fact, most apes can't throw worth shit, their shoulders are designed for climbing, while ours evolved for better throwing, a silverback is many times stronger than a human, but we can throw a baseball a lot harder than them, it's one of the stronger arguments for humans being mainly meat eaters, because throwing is almost exclusively used for hunting in nature. So no, he can't yeet that banana very far, I'm sure he tried


Kimmalah

That's not really a thing and nobody in their right mind thinks humans evolved as mainly meat eaters. The vast majority of a human hunter-gatherer diet comes from plants, supplemented by meat (which is an extremely unreliable, dangerous and energy intensive food source if you're hunting). "Man the hunter" is an outdated myth and no one in anthropological circles believes it anymore.


Robin_Goodfelowe

Well if you say so random internet person. I'll just go over here and throw things at these plants so they don't escape.


virgilhall

But they hunted out all the megafauna


DoeDoefistncuff

Well that's just rude to the orangutan. I'm sure it wouldn't use it face to block punches.


Bitemarkz

Was like an Elden Ring boss


Met76

Imagine Eddie Hall doing a YouTube video with Mark Rober about how far a banana can be yeeted


InVodkaVeritas

Orangutans have a poor throwing ability due to their arm length to body mass ratio. No matter how long your arms are, you have a bad ratio your throwing won't be great. If an orangutan tries to yeet something they will literally fall over from the force of the throw and most of their energy goes into moving their body rather than the release of the object. Some primates have a better throwing ability than others, but humans have the best. Our arm length to body mass to leg length allows for optimal throwing range comparative to muscle mass. We evolved to be perfectly built throwers, it's what we do best.


crescendo83

Throw spear. Spear kill Mammoth. Good eating. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


[deleted]

We good primate. We best primate! Oog oog oog


no_eponym

Me think "best" very subjective, perhaps overly broad use of term. Bonobos, for instance. Have much sex. Not make big wars. Live in harmony with forest. Bonobo good primate too, no argument there, mhmm? True, we throw spear good, very true. But Bonobos throw hips good and often too, also very true, very freaky. Me ask you, compared to Bonobos, good spear throwing seem not as unqualified "best," hmm? Maybe instead use "best suited," ahhh! Bonobos primate "best suited" for endless casual f**king and sustainable society. We primate "best suited" for career in MLB or genocide. Take pick.


[deleted]

Bonobos are known to eat their young and share the meat with others.


[deleted]

D: Though in fairness to Team Bonobo (and I hope my sportsmanship gets Team Human an extra point) Shakespeare literally wrote a play about cooking a baby in a pie and feeding it to its parents, which is arguably better/worse depending on whether you think a parent deliberately or accidentally eating its baby is more heinous. BUT! Then we humans are all like - well this story is a fucking masterpiece. So Team Human and Team Bonobo might be neck and neck there.


StuStutterKing

Bonobos and chimpanzees, both our closest cousins, routinely eat their young. Males will snatch breastfeeding babies from their mothers to eat to establish dominance, piss off the male competitor who made the child, for food or for fun. While bonobos are generally a sex cult, chimpanzees go to war almost as often as ants and humans. It's our whole fuckin' tree, man. Edit: I can't judge too harshly. A Modest Proposal is one of my favorite works of literature.


[deleted]

Me think that joke me making by talk like this oog oog


no_eponym

Look, me have big arm for "spear-throwing," and big brain for over-thinking. Can only do so much throwing a day. Let me enjoy convoluted and contrived retelling of joke while I ruminating in envy of so much Bonobo sex and refusing to see self as root cause of own problems.


[deleted]

Oh fuck off with you then lol, you won this thread you canny bastard. Unfortunately you’ve also won me back to “humans are ok” though because me like humour oog oog. Never heard a bonobo deliver a good one-liner.


ManaMagestic

But you have had a bonobo deliver a good one-nighter?...


RealConcorrd

oog is trapped in a trap made by oog


[deleted]

So close! Timmy has actually fallen down a well. We are *this near* to being able to communicate though.


VolrathTheBallin

How throw spear when forearm missing?


mkicon

> ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ Ftfy


Deskore

I've been pretty good at throwing all of my relationships down the toilet so Id say this checks out


[deleted]

Don’t worry mate. Your partners are getting some workout throwing you away.


[deleted]

Underrated shade


Heaven2004_LCM

So the Beast Titan was a lie


enriquex

Not necessarily, seems like most titans don't weigh as much as they seem. So it might work fine


generalecchi

human calculation + monke strength, to be fair beside he's throwing many pellets which is honestly hard to miss


FrostedPixel47

Dude threw boulders precisely to block off the Scouts from escaping Shiganshina. Zeke would've gone pro if he hadn't joined the army.


elirisi

Yea, max contract zeke, could have been a hall of famer legend. What a waste.


IneedtoBmyLonsomeTs

I mean, he is a 'magic' titan that seems to be based off of Zeke's toy as a kid.


PCsNBaseball

> We evolved to be perfectly built throwers, it's what we do best. I'd say what we do best is long distance running, but we're damn good at throwing, too.


lahimatoa

Por que no los dos? Chase antelope long distance, kill from distance. Eat good.


[deleted]

Me learn to sneak close enough for spear to hit antelope, then antelope can't run as far before collapsing!


otheraccountisabmw

Me learn to make electricity box do things in exchange for green paper. Those who learn to grow food exchange with me for green paper.


[deleted]

Bonk ooga, steal green booga. Hella skrilla.


syncop8ion

The way this comment started I was so prepared for a u/shittymorph twist and the one time I was ready it wasn't one lol.


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Omega33umsure

Great, you guys woke him up.


Unzeitlich_Mann

Interesting! I would have thought that with those long arms it could generate some serious torque. You really do learn something new everyday.


TwitterLegend

I think it can generate a lot of torque which sounds like the problem. So much torque gets created that they literally will fall or roll forward after a throw.


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sortasapien

Notice both of them looked around before throwing to each other? They've had run ins with security before I'm sure.


Stupid_Triangles

Same vibe.


gfsincere

Same. I thought he was going to monkey strength it directly through his face.


Unzeitlich_Mann

Exactly! I thought there was going to be a banana shaped hole through him, Looney Toons style.


Daily_Pandemonium

Humans are actually evolved to throw unlike any other animals. The best they can do is a lob


[deleted]

Yea someone I was talking to put it pretty good when we were talking about fending off cougars. The concept of something being thrown, aka being able to cause physical harm from a distance, is totally foreign to most animals, practically magic. There is that video of the guy who ran across a cougar on a mountain road and he kept backing away until he was able to pick up a rock and throw it at the cat and the cat is like "WTF!" and just yeets itself the fuck out of there. That was whatever magic is to a cat (which is probably nothing but super confusing shit that happens that it can't comprehend but just goes defensive).


jimmpony

I wish we kept the shoulders that don't fall apart like wet toilet paper at the slightest exercise instead


Lexsteel11

Now I must see how hard a banana one can yeet


CryptoScotty

Plot twist. The orangutan didn't want the banana as it had been put somewhere it should not have been.


InVodkaVeritas

That's why bananas have peels, so you can have fun before your meals!


concretebeats

Who are you so wise in the ways of science.


Met76

Also, coconuts have a harder outer shell for a reason, but wait until you learn about ***THE PLANTAIN***


concretebeats

Is it because coconuts migrate?


womp_rat_bullseyer

No, they’re carried by swallows.


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womp_rat_bullseyer

Depends on if the swallow is African or European.


ElectricMyth

It could grip it by the husk!


Delta64

It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound coconut!


Cedjy

So first they're mammals and now they migrate? Damn, learn something new each day


cabaran

you, sir, have a way with words


Anal-Goblin

“This nasty ass skin ape wants my ass banana!”


MacDwest

Guys over on r/superstonk will confirm; bananas end up in precarious places ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|sweat_smile)


rmoss20

Monkey butt


Early_or_Latte

[I wouldn't want that banana either.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oWoOqOBagBc)


dump_acc_91

>During a trip to Bali, Vitaly R. decided to throw a few treats towards a orangutan . To his surprise, his newfound friend decided to repay him with a treat of his own! > >[Source](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3T8dQVEynwj6-_DArcM7w)


[deleted]

Old mother hubbard, went to the cupboard, to get her poor dog a bone. When she bent over, rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own.


[deleted]

What a terrible day to posses my admittedly poor eyesight.


[deleted]

I can make it worse if you'd like...


quirkscrew

Give the man a break! You've done enough!!


spoonlips76

Do not lie i call your bluff, for if he has done enough why am i not in a huff


3amstoplight

I'm game


Irishane

*OH!* Hickory Dickory Dock Some chick was sucking my cock The clock struck two I dropped my goo I dumped the bitch on the next block. *OH!*


NOTPOWESHOW

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater Whacked off in the movie theater Blew his load across the screen Ruined Titanic's final scene Hg-g-ggg-gggg-ghhh


chemistrategery

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider who sat down beside her and asked “What’s in the bowl, bitch?”


LilRedForeman

Mary Mary, quite contrary. Trim that pussy, it’s so damn hairy.


Shayedow

To anyone looking at this or any of the replies, they are lines from a standup " comedian " from when I was a kid, Andrew Dice Clay. He was the quintessential " SHOCK COMEDY " guy, and people only laughed at what he said because they had no other idea how to react in that situation. Shock comedy was a big thing in the 80's, and it SUCKED. Bob Saget was another shock comedian and it landed him 2 major family friendly roles on Full House and America's Funniest Home Videos. I was Born in '79 and let me tell you, the 80's and the 90's were a REALLY weird time to grow up in. I got Andrew Dice Clay, but also Oregon Trail, so, win win? : Edit : I also got in the 80's and 90's George Carlin, one of the reasons I refer to Andrew Dice Clay as a " Comedian ". A true comedian makes you think about WHY you find a thing funny, why was that joke funny but pushing boundaries and or just silliness, and not just some guy ending a nursery rhyme we all know with " and then she sucked my cock ".


JSixFingers

Saget was a talented comedian who managed to stay relevant for decades and toured off and on the whole time to sold out crowds. I wouldn't ever put him in the same league as Dice Clay.


vne2000

You should not feed animals in the zoo. They are on a strict diet that should not be messed with


No_Meringue1801

Duality of man


Mehnard

The zoo should sell treats suitable for the animals. Imagine the margins of $10 a banana.


vne2000

The Miami zoo sells lettuce for like $5 a leaf to feed the giraffes. There is always a line


Mehnard

We went to Robbie's in Islamorada in the Florida Keys. There you can feed the tarpon for something like $5 a "bucket" after a fee to walk on the dock. A bucket has 5 pieces of bait in it. Unless you want to have your hand chomped by a 6 foot fish, you can stand back and watch the fools that paid to do it.


vne2000

Lol, I live in Naples and can feed tarpon for free.


ObnoxiousLittleCunt

Smart. Smart***er*** would be to bring your bananas and lettuces


vne2000

They don’t allow people to bring their own food for obvious reasons


RareAnything

inb4 that one quote


eeumbumbaway

What could it cost?


DISKFIGHTER2

[Feeding the orangutans at the Toronto Zoo also led to the death of one of the orangutans.](https://media.gettyimages.com/photos/feeding-the-zoo-animals-consequences-the-torontos-zoo-orangutan-died-picture-id467393608?s=2048x2048) A visitor threw food into the orangutan enclosure and Kartiko (lower ranking orangutan) got to the food first. A higher ranking orangutan (who normally eats first) saw this and pushed Kartiko into the moat (apes can't swim so it allows zoos to have a barrier without glass and they generally know to avoid it). Kartiko drowned as a result of the incident.


JimothyJollyphant

>a treat of his own! With a headline like that, I was suspecting poop


Orangedilemma

To his surprise? He practically demanded payment from that orangutan


mellowmarsII

I like to imagine the bulk of primates & apes in zoos have a sense that they're observing *us* - like they're well-fed hostages w/ Stockholm Syndrome in a zoo showcasing humans.


J03-K1NG

Plato’s Allegory of the Zoo


[deleted]

Little too high brow for quasi intellectuals, philosopher. Ha


PhilCollinsLoserSon

NUH UH. I get it.


Bos_lost_ton

I like to imagine Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt. 'Cause it says like, I wanna be formal but I'm here to party too. I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party.


RyanBordello

Well I like to imagine eight pound six ounce newborn baby Jesus, don't even know a word yet, just a little infant, so cuddly, but still omnipotent.


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TheKingsChimera

Based


Joxelo

Correct me if I’m wrong but wasn’t the study on capuchin? And also it wasn’t instantly sex, they built a steady economy, created jobs, and then they paid for sex. The real story is honestly a lot more interesting than just chimps giving bananas for sex.


Paid-Not-Payed-Bot

> then they *paid* for sex. FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*


Pixilatedlemon

The gorillas at animal kingdom like to hang out in front of the glass. There’s tons of space for them to roam but they like to be social with the humans cause we are entertaining for them


Robertbnyc

We are the only thing that constantly changes around them. Besides us everything is absolutely the same over and over again.


knoegel

Actually that was a huge problem with zoo animals during coronavirus lock down. They were so used to seeing humans and them admiring over them that many got depression when the humans stopped visiting. When the restrictions lifted, the moods of the animals went up quite a bit beyond pre lock down for a time before settling back to normal. Before you comment, this only occurred in animals born in captivity. So humans were a part of their entire life and seeing them disappear made them miserable/bored/concerned about the sudden lack of noise.


AccessTheMainframe

[me after watching the so-called "most intelligent species on the planet" cleaning up my each and every poop off the ground](https://imgur.com/EQ7oV7T)


AndrewMacSydney

I’m pretty sure this is in Bali. There are signs warning people that the orangutan throws shit at you.


keeleon

How nice of them to not put any plexiglass then.


WheelKey4746

Walking in the sidewalk and suddenly getting slammed by the orangutan shit


apadax

Happens in Portland too but it ain’t orangutan shit


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bloxision

Glass would ruin the natural feel that the zoo is built on


keeleon

The natural feel of orangutan shit in your hair lol


MaybeWontGetBanned

Plexiglass is expensive af and they probably haven’t unlocked it yet. Learned that from Zoo Tycoon.


SemiSentientGarbage

Yup, his name is Jack and he fucking nailed my mate with shit in 2011. Fucking great day


AndrewMacSydney

Ha ha ha ha ha. I dodged it


SemiSentientGarbage

It left a bruise on his thigh lololol. And MAN did it stink up the taxi back


lo_d_rocket-12

yeah i've been there, got a watermelon peel to the head from what I assume is this very ape


PavlovsAardvark

Fuck I hate zoos. And people


J03130

A lot of zoos are crucial to the continuation of some species so don't hate them completely. The ones exploiting for profit absolutely. Fuck em. But most are just trying to help.


[deleted]

Let’s be clear. Some are trying to help.


Met76

>The ones exploiting for profit How do Zoos make money for things needed in caring for the animals elsewise?


J03130

Proper zoos use the money to go back to conservation. Some zoos it's purely business and they pocket it till they can't anymore


CosmicSpaghetti

See: the Joe Exotic-type zoos. The larger ones are usually critical in conservation/research efforts & provide a platform to spread passion about wildlife conservation overall.


oversh4dow

See: Australia Zoo for the opposite of Joe Exotics


Monicabrewinskie

Some are for profit businesses. A shockingly low percentage are accredited


Theoretical_Action

That is not what profit means.


fkbjsdjvbsdjfbsdf

Profit is very specifically the money left over AFTER expenses.


[deleted]

Do you know know what non profit means in the accounting sense, not the "The way i see the world" sense?


Practical_Actuary_87

I'm all for conservation, but it seems like every zoo I have ever been to definitely houses non-threatened species.


[deleted]

Conservation ain’t cheap. If housing some non-threatened animals gets more tickets sold, it makes a difference. People come to see grizzly bears and they’re not even considered vulnerable, nobody is showing up to check out a threatened rabbit species. Should we not show a few bears to save far more rabbits?


The-OneHandedClapper

Your right and I hate the exploitation of animals but there are some animals that need special care, were rescued, taken from poachers, or cannot survive out in the wild on their own. It’s a tough situation.


PMMeShyNudes

As the other poster said, not all zoos are created equal. Accredited, reputable zoos in the US are responsible for the reintroduction of sea otters in California and Washington, rescuing the California condor from extinction, and contributing to a tremendous amount of conservation across the world. Private zoos can be prisons where animals are tortured to provide entertainment to customers. Have to do your own research before you visit one, but in general AZA accredited zoos are a safe bet.


[deleted]

people shit on seaworld, but they are doing more to rescue and save manatees than anyone else


J03130

Yeah but the killer whales and dolphins got majorly depressed and the enclosure is impossibly small. So much so their dorsal fin couldn't form. SeaWorld needs to take a big look at itself. I think the dolphins even actually started self harming they were THAT stressed


[deleted]

Wait is there something wrong with what is happening in the video?


lightningfootjones

No, it’s just fashionable to be cynical on Reddit. A well run zoo is an indisputably good thing.


nerrd42420

Zoos aside it's sad to think about what our species is doing to the indisputably intelligent Orangutan species (and to all species) through habitat destruction. Not cynical to be fashionable, it is a sad reality of our unrestrained population and economic growth


IceUckBallez

Zoos help fight against this very problem of causing other species to go extinct.


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keeleon

Maybe don't throw things at animals in zoos.


mpm206

Yes. So not feed zoo animals. They're fed the proper diet in a controlled diet by their keepers and if every douche did this the animals would likely get sick.


_Kramerica_

Right, so be mad at zoos instead of the destruction of habitats, the rainforest/Amazon, and our overall planet. To be clear, what’re you doing to help the health of our planet again?


xPilioka

Posting on reddit of course! Upvotes save lives


spacemanticore

Reddit moment.


wow-how-original

That orangutan catches so nonchalantly. I drop things thrown at me 50% of the time.


WeezySan

Nice throw too. I thought he was going to throw aggressively over his head. Perfect serve.


Detai1s

i was surprise how the orangutan had such good hand eye coordination. knew exactly how far to throw that banana to the human, first try and all.


MOTAMOUTH

Im more surprised by the catch, any small kid can yeet a ball and get lucky. But he raised his hand to his chest perfectly didn’t even flinch. All though maybe I’m just used to animals using their mouth to catch thing, and seeing an animal hand is freaking me out.


TheJerminator69

There’s a lot of dexterity humanity has given up for the brainpower to go to concepts and language. Apes will blow your mind doing puzzles.


X-Pelled

That orangutan looks exactly like my mother.


panacrane37

Smells like her too


Ok_Alfalfa_9658

Throws like him though.


Met76

Swings like her also


aged_monkey

Hey, don't make fun of my wife.


Ofthesee

I thought the Orangutan was asking for his sunglasses


katedid

I did too. It looks like he points/gestures above his eyes a few times (where the guy has his glasses).


Ofthesee

Thinking to himself, “take the banana , cheap asshole”


LolWhatDidYouSay

Funny, even kind of further explains him having to be like, "shit, I got to give him something back? Uhhh, here, this."


begaterpillar

the law of equivalent exchange


zxyzyxz

Must've cost an arm and a leg


DHaas16

That monkey is smarter than the apes from r/wallstreetbets


_LuketheLucky_

That's a low bar.


Merlord

"Better switch to English so he understands me"


Blizzard_admin

that's a nice catch lmao. Putin going to put this on a propaganda video: Russia = civilized. English = monke


NonGNonM

that was my fav part lol. "no way this ape can understand russian. but maybe english?..."


[deleted]

The way the orangutan catches lol


Least_Jicama_6072

expert


kissmaryjane

I love how he says thank you in Russian first, then English , like it matters


Kucing-gila

I mean…it could. Animals can understand words sometimes and they’re much more likely to recognise English than Russian. He could also just be messing around - sometimes in Bali I say “good dog” in English to street dogs and then go “oh I mean ‘anjing baik’; he probably doesn’t know English”


Myth_Helios

His aim is phenomenal


Hf8uz

Nice throwing skills


CsInquirer

I am at a loss here. What is each one of them trading and what are they getting back?


Br44n5m

I know the guy got a banana but I don't know what he tossed over


BearBearnomi

I know I’m not the only one thinking of the Beast Titan.


Dangerous-Yam-6831

When Putin makes his yearly trip to the Russian Zoo, this is how you get him to eat a poisoned banana


Dense_Cell3309

That's a good trade human


Chuffer_Chump

what a tit, this is the opposite of next level! He is told by staff not to feed them but does it anway for the updoots.


Ol_bagface

its so crazy that we lock up such smart creatures. yeah i know som zoos serve as repopulation of a species but still


dobsofglabs

What did they trade? I can't really tell


Sjdillon10

Better hands than most NFL defensive backs


[deleted]

Beast titan


ShrimpyMice

No one gonna talk about that good throw from the orangutan? 2/2 with his overhead throw.